Author: robertpaulreyes

Cops Allow Police Dog to Bite Naked Unarmed Man!

police-dog
“The NBC4 I-Team has obtained police body cam video — never before seen publicly — that shows cops allowing a K-9 to bite a naked, unarmed man, including for over 40 seconds after officers had him pinned to the ground.

It took some time for the officers to locate the man hiding in a rustic canyon area surrounded by homes and a high school. Officers believed the man was under the influence of a controlled substance, which the man later admitted to NBC4 was true.

NBC News

The man’s lawyers are accusing the police department of “excessive force”, and I can only hope common sense will prevail if this case goes to trial.

The idiot, a 25-year-old businessman in San Diego for a convention, told reporters that he ended up naked in that canyon after a night of hard partying, and he admitted taking LSD.

The police officers turned the dog loose only after the drugged-up jackass refused to obey instructions. After hours searching for the man in the canyon, the officers should be commended for their restraint, instead of being accused of police brutality. It would have been understandable if the cops had ordered the K-9 officer to go after the suspect’s family jewels.

Keep in mind this naked junkie loser was roaming around in an area near a high school and private residences. This video should be shown in schools as a cautionary tale: This is what happens when you take LSD.

Anybody with a modicum of common sense will agree that a man who parties all night, consuming a smorgasbord of drugs, and who ends up butt-naked near a high school, deserves to be attacked by a police dog.

The druggie wasn’t charged with any crimes, and he still has the audacity to sue the city of San Diego. This out-of-towner believes that he can get high, roam around naked in the beautiful city San Diego, and leave with millions in his pocket. If anybody deserves to be attacked by dogs and the fair citizens of Sand Diego it’s this loser.

Link to video:

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/investigations/Cops-Allow-Police-Dog-Bite-Naked-Unarmed-Man-406122445.html


It’s Not “He” and “She”, It’s “Ze”! WTF?

oxford-university
“Oxford University is encouraging students to use the gender-neutral pronoun ‘ze’ instead of ‘she and ‘he’.

The students’ union wrote in a leaflet that the move was intended to reduce the risk of transgender students being offended.
 Students hope that the use of ‘ze’ will continue into university lectures and seminars, reported The Sunday Times.

According to Oxford University’s behaviour code, using the wrong pronoun to define a transgender person is an offence.”

Daily Mail

Transgender individuals compromise .03 percent of the population, to invent a gender-neutral pronoun to appease a fraction of the population is patently ridiculous, and yet another example of political -correctness run amok.

Transgenders aren’t a legitimate minority deserving of special protection, they suffer from a psychiatric disorder (gender dysphoria). Should Oxford University students be forced to address people who suffer from multiple personality disorder with the plural pronoun “they.” And should nutjobs who suffer from delusions of grandeur be addressed as “Napoleon”, or whatever historical person they imagine themselves to be?

I could care less if somebody identifies as transgender or gender fluid, but in the real world there are only two genders (male and female) and only two gender specific pronouns (he and she.)

In a prestigious university where political-correctness prevails, and in a mental institution where madness prevails, nobody will look at you strange if you use a gender-neutral pronoun. But in the real world you’d be well-advised to address people as “he” or “she” if you don’t want to get beat to a bloody pulp.

Pastor From Hell Heckles Kids at Mall: There Is No Santa

santa-cute
“Pastor Dave Grisham filmed himself Saturday standing in an Amarillo, Texas mall and heckling children as they waited in line to meet Santa.

He walked up to the line of families waiting to meet Santa and announced: Kids, I want to tell you today that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Santa Claus does not exist.

He continued: The Christmas season is about Jesus. Jesus was born 2,016 years ago. He was born in a manger in a small town called Bethlehem.

‘Don’t lie to your children and tell them there’s such thing as Santa, when you know in reality that there are no flying reindeer, there is no workshop of the North Pole, there is no elves making toys, that you buy all gifts and put them under tree. That’s all the truth!'”

The American Mirror

The Apostle Paul told the congregation at Corinth that they were ambassadors for Christ, an ambassador for the loving Jesus should exercise tact and diplomacy in preaching the Gospel message.

The loud and obnoxious Pastor Grinch succeeded only in turning people away from the Gospel with his self-serving publicity stunt.

How would Grisham like it if an atheist walked into his church while his congregation waited in line to receive communion, and shouted: Jesus died some 2,000 years ago! He didn’t rise from the dead! Stop believing in myths and fables!

Let’s get real, the Christmas season isn’t about Jesus or Santa, it’s about mindless consumerism, greed, and attending Bacchanalian office parties.

I pray that a prophet filled with the holiday spirit will take a giant King James Bible and spank the hell out of Pastor Asshole if he pulls this stunt again.


Amateur Mechanic Modifies Toy Car To Reach Speed of 40 mph

power-wheels
“An amateur mechanic in Illinois modified a child’s Power Wheels toy car to run on a real engine and reach speeds of 40 mph.

Kyle Kuta shared a video showing how he took a Power Wheels vehicle based on the Cadillac Escalade and replaced the 12-volt electric engine with a 5 horsepower 160cc Honda engine.

The video shows Kuta take his souped-up toy car for a test drive, reaching speeds of 40 mph.”

UPI

I don’t know how to change the oil in my car, or fix a flat tire, but if I were mechanically inclined, in my spare time I would tune-up the vehicles of senior citizens who live on a fixed income.

Kuta is a master mechanic, and in his free time he souped-up a child’s Power Wheels toy car so that it can reach speeds of 40 mph.

Talk about a complete waste of time and money, what good is a toy car that exceeds 40 mph? I guess you could hand over the key to the toddler next door who’s always screaming and disturbing the peace.

The toy car’s steering wheel would be perfect for Donald Trump’s tiny hands, but he wouldn’t be able to squeeze his lard ass into the vehicle.

I guess I should be a little bit more understanding, after all everybody needs a hobby.


Read More:

Is a KFC-scented Candle Romantic?

kfc
“The New Zealand wing of KFC is offering fried chicken lovers the chance to win a strange piece of merchandise: a scented candle.

The fast food eatery posted to Facebook showing a supposedly fried chicken-scented candle bearing the image of the chain’s Colonel Sanders logo.

‘To go in the draw to win one just suggest another piece of KFC merchandise you’d like to see from us in the comments below!’ the post said.

The eatery said the winners will be announced Monday. The post did not say how many of the candles would be made available.”

UPI

There is nothing more romantic than a candlelit dinner, a floral-scented candle enhances the amorous ambience. A fried chicken-scented candle bearing the KFC logo will bring any budding sexual yearnings to a screeching halt.

There is an outside chance than a young woman might be turned on by a lobster-scented candle featuring a Red Lobster logo, but there’s zero chance that you’ll ever hear back from your date if she sees a KFC candle on your dinner table.

Sex Education 101: Men and women aren’t alike! Dudes think there’s nothing sexier than sharing a bucket of fried chicken with a hot girl while Lil’ Wayne’s “Pussy Monster” is playing on the stereo.

Dudes pretend you have a modicum of class when you are on a date!


Read More:

Crooked Hillary Clinton Comes Out of the Woods to Praise Reprobate Harry Reid

hillary-clinton-benghazi-hearing

After her humiliating defeat at the hands of a clueless clown, Hillary Clinton has been seen by concerned citizens roaming the woods near her home in Chappaqua.

Hillary ditched her trademark pantsuits and designer shoes for a warm coat sensible pants and hiking boots.

Most of us were hoping and praying that dementia had finally taken complete hold of her, and that she would roam the woods forever, never to emerge as a credible politician again.   

Alas, Hillary left the woods of Westchester County to visit Capitol Hill on Thursday for a ceremony honoring retiring Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.

It’s altogether fitting and proper that a decrepit old political hack like Reid was honored by a putrid fossil the likes of Hilary.

For the occasion, Hillary donned a purple pantsuit, the same royal color she wore for her concession speech.

Hillary can’t get it through her thick skull that the electorate has rejected the Clinton dynasty.

We’ve had our fill of Hillary’s speeches; we weren’t waiting with bated breath for her to pay tribute to an old reprobate.

For God’s sake Hillary, your reign is over, return to the freaking woods. 

Woman Driver Runs Over Ex-Boyfriend’s Christmas Display

krampus
“State police say holiday music was blaring from a western Pennsylvania woman’s car as she tore up the yard of her ex-boyfriend’s home, nearly running the man and his family over.

Forty-seven-year-old Mary Jo Smith was charged Tuesday with multiple offenses stemming from Monday’s incident.

Alan McCutcheon says he was setting up a Christmas light display outside of his Fayette County home when Smith yelled ‘Merry Christmas’ and made several passes through his yard.”

CBS News

Smith should be charged with a misdemeanor for attempting to run over her ex-boyfriend, and a felony for blaring Christmas music from her car radio.

McCutcheon should be charged with a felony for setting up a Christmas light display outside his home, call me a Grinch but I’m already sick and tired of Christmas music and Christmas lights.

We still have three weeks to go before it’s finally Christmas; I pray God will give me the strength to resist going Krampus
on every Christmas display in my neighborhood.

I’ll knock boots with Smith in the back of her vehicle, as long as she has Luther Vandross on her car stereo and not Christmas music.


Read More:

Lena Dunham’s Disgusting Toilet Selfie

lena_dunham_tff_2012_shankbone_3
“The 30 year-old took to Instagram to share this intimate moment with her 2.8 million followers.
In it, she is seen posing with her thighs slightly ajar and her hands between her legs in a suggestive gesture, as she (presumably) relieves herself and flushes away her sorrows about Donald Trump.”

HeatStreet

Lena Dunham is the creator, writer, producer and lead actress of the HBO series “Girls”, no image makes it on air without her approval. On every episode Dunham offends our aesthetic sensibilities by exposing her blotchy fat ass. It’s one thing to appear butt-naked occasionally as an affirmation of body acceptance, it’s quite another to appear nude on every episode, that’s a sign of vanity and hatred of viewers.

Dunham has taken exhibitionism to a new level, her toilet selfie is disgusting; I wish I could flush the big ugly turd down the toilet.

Recently in a drunken video rant on Instagram Dunham referred to herself as a “human wastebasket” — indeed she is. Apparently only when Dunham is drunk does she see herself as she really is, the next time she gets plastered I hope she make an appointment with a shrink or a minister.

Dunham is an ugly girl desperate for attention, her serial flashing on “Girls” lost its shock value, so now we are treated to a toilet selfie. Will this moral slide end with a snuff film starring herself?

Link to toilet selfie:


 

Donald Trump Selects Dr. Ben Carson as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

ben-carson

“On Monday, President-elect Donald Trump announced the long-rumored selection of former pediatric neurosurgeon and presidential candidate Ben Carson as secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

Curious as it may sound, Carson accepted the offer from his former rival less than a month after his spokesman told reporters that Carson was not qualified for a position in the incoming administration because he ‘has no government experience‘ and has ‘never run a federal agency.’ The same spokesperson made clear that Carson would not want to take a position that could cripple the presidency.”

Salon

In this presidential election the electorate made it abundantly clear that they wanted change above everything else.

The socialist revolutionary, Sen. Bernie Sanders, would have defeated the establishment favorite Hillary Clinton, if the DNC hadn’t rigged the game in her favor.

Donald Trump beat 17 heavyweight Republican rivals even though everybody (RNC, media, intelligentsia, Wall Street, donor class) was vehemently against him.

In this season of disenchantment with the establishment, when the electorate eschewed political hacks in favor of change agents, even a renowned brain surgeon, Dr. Ben Carson, with absolutely no political experience was the Republican frontrunner for a short spell in the fall of 2015.

That is until Donald Trump brutally crushed Carson’s nascent bid by comparing him to a child molester. On March 4, 2016, Carson ended his campaign, and shortly thereafter he became one of Trump’s most loyal surrogates.

The primaries, especially the debates, exposed Dr. Carson as an idiot savant, he’s a genius when it comes to medicine, but he’s mentally-retarded when it comes  to economics, foreign policy, education, or housing and urban development.

I can understand Trump’s desire to reward Dr. Carson for his loyalty, but his tenure as Secretary of Housing and Urban development is destined to be an unqualified disaster.

Carson’s supporters point to his childhood living in poverty in the mean streets of Detroit as his most impressive qualification. Really? I attended a  high school in the poor side of town, but that doesn’t qualify me to be Secretary of Education.

It’s incumbent upon the Senate to give Mr. Carson a thorough examination, and ultimately reject him for being woefully unqualified.

Read More:
http://www.salon.com/2016/12/06/ben-carsons-life-in-public-housing-qualifies-him-to-be-hud-secretary-supporters-say/

Fashionista/Quarterback Cam Newton Benched for Dress Code Violation

cam-newton

Cam Newton turns heads because of his athleticism and brilliant play on the gridiron, the reigning NFL MVP is a top notch quarterback.

Off the football field people shake their heads at his flamboyant fashion sensibilities, he looks like a drag queen on crack.

Newton should come out of the closet, and not just because he spends too much time in his walk-in closets contemplating which outrageous outfit to wear. Newton should come out of the closet as a gay man, you don’t need to possess a finely-tuned gaydar to deduce that his effeminate clothes and effete demeanor reveal him to be a stereotypically gay man.Of course not every gay man sashays around in frilly attire, but there is a subset of the gay culture that rolls that way.

I don’t mean to imply that there is no room in the NFL for gay quarterbacks, in fact I wish Cam would come out as gay because it would advance gay rights. Cam may act effeminate off the football field, but on the gridiron he is fearless, putting his body and career on the line rushing for first downs.

Quarterback/fashionista Newton should have been arrested by the fashion police a long time ago, kudos to his couch for benching him for the first series of the game against Seattle for failing to wear a tie on the team’s flight from northern California to Seattle.

Journeyman quarterback Derek Anderson started the game instead of Newton, and promptly threw an interception on the first play of the game. A Seattle linebacker returned the pick to the 8-yard line, and the Seahawks went up 3-0, en route to a 40-7 rout.

Most football fans could care less about Cam’s penchant for dressing like a trans gay hooker, but when his disregard for conventional dress directly leads to a losing a football game — Houston we have a problem.

Bill Maher on Donald Trump: It’s Like Watching a Toddler Playing With a Gun

bill-maher

“Its been almost a month, will I ever get used to Trump? Fuck no. Its like watching a toddler playing with a gun – you’re always nervous”

Bill Maher

Donald Trump is a racist clown who doesn’t have the temperament, experience, knowledge or wisdom to be president of the United States, however I don’t subscribe to the #notmypresident sentiment. Trump won, fair and square, and he’s the president of all Americans: Republicans, Democrats and Independents.

However,I share Maher’s apprehensions about Trump being the leader of the Free World. I don’t have a lot of faith that we will survive his administration without America plunging into a financial meltdown or a nuclear winter.

Witnessing Trump playing president is like watching a toddler playing with a gun — you’re praying that it’s not loaded, and that his tiny hands will be unable to pull the trigger.

Actually I’m more afraid of Trump playing with his smartphone: Will he tweet that Israel needs to go Medieval on Iran or will he call the tinpot dictator of North Korea and tell him that he loves his hairdo? Both of those actions could lead to World War III!

President Donald Trump? Sad.

Oregon School District Bans Santa Claus

santa-cute
“In a move to show respect to all religions, a school district in Oregon has decided to ban religious-themed decorations in the classrooms during the holidays.

The decision, which was revealed on Tuesday, bans decorations with images such as Santa Claus, according to KATU.
The school district released a notice to staff:

“You may still decorate your door or office if you like, but we ask that you be respectful and sensitive to the diverse perspectives and beliefs of our community and refrain from using religious-themed decorations or images like Santa Claus.”

Fox News

Santa Claus is as American as apple pie, baseball, cheating on your taxes and fast food, for St. Nick to be banned from a school district is a sign of the decline of Western Civilization.

Santa is a secular not a religious symbol, in fact the greed that he represents unites Americans of every religious background. Santa represents the mindless consumerism that’s made America the greatest nation on Earth.

An attack on Santa is an attack on the Constitution, the flag and the American way of life, and it’s incumbent upon every red-blooded American to fight against these commies who are trying to ban Santa from our public schools.

If I had children enrolled in this Oregon school district I would protest by dressing them as Santa every day until the un-American ban is repealed.

This time the politically-correct idiots have gone too far, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the school officials are tarred, feathered, and beaten to a pulp by righteous patriots.


Donald Trump Should Waterboard Hillary Clinton

 

“Donald Trump will not appoint a special prosecutor to investigate Hillary Clinton, campaign manager Kellyanne Conway announced on Tuesday, reneging on one of his signature campaign promises.

 Conway said Trump won’t pursue charges against Clinton for her use of a private email server as secretary of state, nor her potential conflicts of interest with the Clinton Foundation, because he wants to help her heal.”

 Policy Mic

The highlight of Donald Trump’s stump speech on the campaign trail was when he threatened to pursue charges against Hillary; he would be drowned out with cries of: Lock Her Up!  It was a cathartic experience, like a call and response interaction between a pastor and his congregation at a black church.

Trump must keep his two signature campaign promises if he wants to keep faith with his supporters: Build a beautiful wall between Mexico and the United States, and lock Hillary up inside the drab walls of a penitentiary.

Why is Trump reneging on his solemn pledge to lock the witch up; Hillary is the most despised woman in America and nobody would shed a tear if she’s convicted.
Even Hillary would be happier in the Big House; she would enjoy free rein to be a lesbian.

But if Trump isn’t going to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate the myriad Clinton scandals, the least he can do it waterboard the bitch.

Of course Trump doesn’t have the physical wherewithal to waterboard Hillary; his tiny hands are incapable of holding her head under water. But he can delegate the task to the likes of Rudy Gulliani; can you imagine the glee of pure happiness in his eyes as he’s waterboarding Hillary?

Or he could assign the task to his 12-year-old son Barron, he has much bigger hands than his daddy, and he would certainly be making America Great Again by punishing Hillary for her decades of corruption and evildoing.
 
 
Read More:

 

Hillary Clinton Doll Dangling From Metal Hook in Store! Free Speech or Hate Speech?

hillary-clinton-benghazi-hearing

“A Hillary Clinton doll dangles from a metal hook next to a `Make America Great Again` sign inside the Pleasant View Orchards store in Smithfield. It has some customers up in arms, but owner Anthony Polseno says it`s not meant to offend.

When word spread about the doll, it led some people to take to the internet describing their outrage through reviews. One saying in part, `having a doll of Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State with a noose around her neck? that is not only so disrespectful but misogynistic and hateful.`

Polseno, who`s run the orchard for 50 years, says the doll was a gift from a customer. But, the complaints started before the Clinton doll, they began when he first hung his Donald Trump `Make America Great Again` sign. “

ABC News

Poleseno`s Hillary doll dangling from a metal hook next to a “Make America Great Again” sign in his business may be in bad taste, but it`s an example of constitutionally protected free speech.

If a customer is offended by the Hillary doll, instead of getting his panties in a twist; he should simply not patronize Pleasant View Orchards.

In my opinion a Hillary Clinton doll dangling from a metal hook is a vivid example of Making America Great. Political discourse whether it takes the form of speech, performance art or an effigy of a politician dangling from a metal hook is democracy in action. I thank God we live in a free country where we won`t be fined or jailed for ridiculing or criticizing politicians.

I wish I had a Hillary Clinton doll that I could dangle from my front porch; the humiliated political hack needs to be reminded that she is despised by most Americans.

Hillary if you`re thinking of running again in 2020, please take a good look at your likeness dangling in this patriot`s place of business.

Read More:

http://www.abc6.com/story/33848013/outrage-after-smithfield-store-owner-put-hillary-clinton-doll-on-display

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Pooch Loves Santa

santa

“A pair of Florida siblings captured their 1-year-old dog`s joy at meeting the real-life version of her favorite chew toy: Santa Claus.

John Mantaldo, 16, and sister Angelina Mantaldo, 19, said their 1-year-old Shiba Inuna dog, Kya, has been infatuated with her Santa Claus chew toy ever since they got it for her when she first came home last Christmas.


The siblings brought Kya to their local mall in Orlando to meet Santa in person.”

UPI
A pooch loves to chew on her Santa Claus chew toy, so her owners take her to the mall to meet Santa in person. This makes as much sense as a dog owner tracking down where his mailman lives, so he can take his mailman hating-pet to meet him in person.

This had all the potential of being a bloodbath at the mall, but instead of chewing the bloody hell out of Santa, Kya had a huge smile on her face when she met the Jolly Old Bastard.

All the kids waiting in line to see Santa got a double treat, they got to sit on Santa`s lap and pet the adorable pooch.

I wish all my readers a Happy Holiday Season!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Hillary Clinton Must Disappear for the Good of the Democratic Party

hillary-clinton-benghazi-hearing

Hillary Clinton has been keeping a low profile since she suffered the humiliation of losing to a clown with an orange face, tiny hands and the most famous micropenis in the world.

She`s been behaving like a typical grandmother: Hiking, walking her pooch, and browsing at bookstores. Chappaqua residents who are unfamiliar with Hillary`s decades of political corruption, might think she`s just a friendly well-to-do grandma enjoying her golden years.

The Hillary who mocked Donald Trump on the campaign trail, and who was loud, shrill and annoying in her stump speech, is finally quiet. (God, I thought nothing could silence the witch)

But those of us who recognize Hillary as a nasty woman shouldn`t let down our guard, the demon-possessed wretch may yet make another run for the White House.

Hillary announced last week that she would support recounts in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania, that doesn`t sound to me like a witch who will ride off in a broom into the sunset, and never be heard from again.

Patriots must be ever vigilant, and not give Hillary a moment of peace until the Grim Reaper drags her away to hell.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Donald Trump is Right! Ohio State University Terrorist Shouldn’t Have Been in America

donald-trump

“President-elect Donald Trump tweeted early Wednesday to report that ISIS was taking credit for the attack at Ohio State University by student Abdul Razak Ali Artan, and that Artan, who was a refugee from Somalia, `should not have been in our country.`

Artan allegedly drove a vehicle into a crowd of pedestrians and attacked others with a butcher knife, injuring 11. He was fatally shot by an campus police officer.

Artan was a legal permanent resident of the United States with no history of violence or allegiance to terrorist organizations. Artan and his family fled Somalia for Pakistan in 2007 and came to the U.S. in 2014.”

AOL

Almost immediately after the Islamist terrorist attack on the Ohio State University campus Monday the attacker was identified as Abdul Razak Ali Artan, a refugee from Somalia.

The Ohio State University attack followed the modus operandi of dozens of ISIS terrorists and lone wolf ISIS sympathizers who have carried out attacks in Europe and the United States.

Within a couple of hours of the cowardly attack it was learned that Artan posted this message on his Facebook page:

America! Stop interfering with other countries, especially the Muslim Ummah. If you want us Muslims to stop carrying out lone wolf attacks, then make peace with `dawla in al sham.` Make a pact or a treaty with them where you promise to leave them alone.
Artan also informed his Facebook friends that he had reached a “boiling point.” You didn`t have to be a rocket scientist or an expert in Islamic terrorism to  immediately deduce that Artan was an Islamic terrorist or a lone wolf sympathizer.

But the mainstream media kept describing the cowardly scum as a “young man”, and they cautioned us not to draw any conclusions from the facts that had already been uncovered. To this day most reporters are still repeating the damnable lie that we don`t know what motivated Artan to attempt to kill innocent civilians.

No wonder Trump won the election even though he`s a racist ignoramus — at least he tells it like it is, and doesn`t bow down before the God of political correctness.

Trump is spot on, Artan should never have been in America! We shouldn`t accept any refugees or immigrants from terrorist hellholes like Somalia.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Snoop Dogg and Hillary Clinton Follow Each Other on Twitter

hillary-clinton

“Since Hillary Clinton lost the presidential election she has gone for a relaxing hike in the woods, browsed a bookstore and stopped by the grocery store to stock up on cheese.

But perhaps her most amazing move since Election Day took place recently, when she made the decision to follow her loyal fan, Snoop Dogg, on Twitter.

Snoop, the rapper and avid Clinton supporter, has not been shy about his political preferences. In fact, he was so upset by the results of the election that he asked his buddy Drake to help him flee the country and start a new life in Canada.”

Mashable

Let me start this essay by pleading with Snoop Dog not to flee to Canada, America can`t survive a Trump administration without his cool and calming presence.

Now that Hillary has lost the election and her political career is over, and maintaining a pristine public image is no longer a necessity, she should let her hair down, and stock up on weed, instead of cheese. Her online buddy, Snoop Dogg, can hook her up with the best grass in the world.

I`m not a fan of crooked Hillary Clinton, but Snoop Dogg is my idol, and I hope and pray that he stays in America and continues to bless us with his music.

With Snoop blasting on my stereo, and my  survival kit consisting of the dankest marijuana, I`m ready to survive a Zombie Apocalypse and a Trump administration.

Read More:
http://mashable.com/2016/11/28/hillary-clinton-snoop-dogg-twitter-followers/#qzm7X2YHLSqH

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

House Democrats Must Kick Nancy Pelosi to the Curb

nancy_pelosi_2013

The American public banished soon-to-be septuagenarian political hack Hillary Clinton to Chappaqua, where she is idling away her last hours on Earth walking her dog,visiting bookstores, and contemplating what the size and shape of her stools signifies about her failing health.

Now it`s incumbent on House Democrats to strip Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) of her top leadership post, where she`s been perched for the past 14 years.
The fact that Democrats will decide on their new leader in a secret ballot, gives me hope that his fossil will meet the same fate as Hillary. Most Democratic congressmen and congresswomen are too timed to publicly repudiate Pelosi, but in a secret ballot I trust that they will do what`s in the best interests of the party and kick her to the curb.

Pelosi expects to win re-election this week to lead House Democrats for the 15th year, after all she`s a gifted fundraiser, and most politicians prize the ability to raise money above everything else.

Pelosi`s challenger, Rep. Tim Ryan of Ohio, may seem to be on a Quixotic mission, but his youth and populist economic message may knock the old hag from her perch.

If Democrats don`t strip Pelosi of her leadership position, there will be no credible challenge to the Trump administration, and that wouldn`t be a good thing for the Democratic Party or America.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Hillary Clinton’s Post-Election No-Makeup Face Rocks

hillary-clinton

For the next four, or if God is especially cruel and vindictive eight years, we will be seeing Donald Trump`s orange-hued face on our television screens, magazines covers and the front pages of newspapers — a silent indictment that we have elected a clown to the most important office in the world.

But we may never again see carefully coiffed, pancake-makeup Hillary Clinton, her post-election look is minimalist and natural. Gone is the hairspray, collagen injections and mascara.

The post-apocalypse Hillary that we have seen walking her dog, and browsing at a bookstore looks like a grandmother who has accepted her senior status with dignity and grace.

I`m not sure there`s an authentic version of Hillary Clinton, she`s deceitful to the core, but she certainly looks more approachable in her plain new look.

If God has mercy on us we will never see the dolled up Hillary again, because that could only mean that she`s getting ready to run for president in 2020.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Donald Trump’s Hissy Fit Over Unflattering Photos

donald-trump-angry-fuck

“President-elect Donald Trump has a particularly fragile and easily bruised ego. He doesn`t like it when you make fun of his teeny-weenie hands, and now The Donald wants the media to stop publishing unflattering photos of him. Well, we have some good news for the president-elect! The people are spreading the word about how much Trump hates those pics on social media!”

Fusion

We know two things about Donald Trump: He has an enormous ego and tiny hands, ergo a minuscule penis. When a pundit, comic or Twitter troll makes fun of the Donald`s physical appearance he goes ballistic.

During an off the record meeting with TV anchors and executives, the blowhard billionaire berated NBC executives for using unflattering photographs of him.

You`d think that a man who has billions in the bank, a hot wife, worldwide celebrity and has been elected Leader of the Free World, wouldn`t care if the media used unflattering photos, but it really bugs him.

If Trump loses sleep over a television network using less than flattering photos, imagine his dismay if a homemade sex tape featuring Trump`s tiny pecker was posted online.

I figure there`s got to be a Trump sex tape, it goes without saying that a man as egotistical as Trump has filmed himself having sex with a model or actress.

Trump could be blackmailed into doing anything, he would betray his country to prevent the world from seeing his micropenis.

For the sake of our national security I hope and pray that I`m wrong, and that there is no Donald Trump sex tape.

America Has Elected a Racist Moron: Get Used To It!

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On Monday Michigan is expected to certify its presidential election results that will officially give Donald Trump well over 300 electoral votes, by any measure an Electoral College landslide.

Meanwhile the votes are still being tallied in California, and Hillary Clinton has now expanded her popular-vote lead to more than two million (64.4 million to 62.3 million.)

Hillary`s popular-vote victory and her senior citizen`s discount card might get her a cup of coffee for less than $2 at Starbucks, but it won`t change the outcome of the election.

This had led some disappointed and disgruntled Democrats to call for the Electoral College system to be revised or abolished, but that`s not going to happen. The Senate will unanimously pass a declaration stating that Donald Trump is a scholar, gentleman and a gifted statesman with the most beautiful and impressive penis in the universe, before the Electoral College is abolished.

Abolishing the Electoral College would require an amendment to the United States Constitution — which would need a two-thirds majority in both the House and the Senate, and then it would have to be ratified by 38 states. You don`t have to be a political science major or a rocket scientist to deduce that`s impossible in today`s partisan political climate.

Our presidential election system is what it is, and hard as it may be, we must resign ourselves to the reality that we have elected a know-nothing racist egomaniac as President of the United States.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

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Donald Trump Needs to Adopt a Pet to Soften His Image

donald-trump

“Election Day 2016 brought surprises and firsts. Donald Trump will be the only president in U.S. history with no military or political experience and the oldest and richest president ever sworn into office. Melania Trump might be the first of all the first ladies to telecommute.

“But one first has seldom been mentioned: Barring a new addition to his household between now and Jan. 20, Donald Trump will be the first president in 150 years who does not have a pet.

If horses are included, every president except James K. Polk and Andrew Johnson has owned a pet for at least part of his term in office, and with these furry first friends have come a host of political benefits. Aside from the possible physical and psychological benefits they`ve bestowed on first families, presidential pets have for decades served to soften the president`s image and garnered positive White House news coverage.”

The Washington Post

There isn`t exactly a wave of euphoria and optimism at the prospect of Donald J. Trump`s inauguration as the 45th President of the United States. Even Trump`s most fervent supporters are anxious and apprehensive about how he will perform in office.

When millions of American`s think of Trump these are the words and phrases that come to mind: Racist, clueless, Oompa Loompa, divisive, disgusting tiny hands, blowhard billionaire, farting machine, liar, crazy wig, fascist, pussy grabbing misogynist  …

If anybody needs an intervention from a team of public relations experts, hair stylists and fashionistas it`s Trump. His bellicose image desperately needs to be softened, and nothing humanizes a controversial person quite like a pet.

When I saw images of President Obama frolicking with Bo, his Portuguese Water Dog, it made me forget for a moment that he was a Kenyan-born usurper who was systematically destroying our democracy.

If Trump tweeted a pic cuddling with a cat or walking a dog, his approval ratings would skyrocket, but I wouldn`t wish that fate on any animal. Trump would be the worst pet owner in history, he would forget to feed them, he would kick his dog if Rosie O`Donnell blasted him on Twitter, and he would strangle his cat if it scratched his tiny hands.

As a pet owner and animal lover I hope and pray that Trump doesn`t adopt a pet!

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2016/11/25/donald-trump-really-needs-to-get-a-dog/

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America’s Mom Carol Brady (Florence Henderson) Dead at 82

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“Florence Henderson, the actress who portrayed matriarch Carol Brady on the Seventies sitcom The Brady Bunch, died Thursday in Los Angeles from heart failure. She was 82.

`We are heartbroken to announce the passing of our dear mother Florence Henderson from heart failure,` the Henderson family said in a statement.  `On this day of thanks, our beloved mother was surrounded by her devoted children and dearest friends. We thank all of her fans for their many years of love and ask that we be allowed to grieve in private.` “

Rolling Stone

The Henderson family is grieving the loss of their dear mother Florence Henderson, and America is mourning the death of our beloved TV mother Carol Brady.

Florence Henderson and the Brady Bunch were icons of a bygone area when television had the power to unite the country.

The Brady Bunch aired from 1969 to 1974, a quaint era when there were only a few broadcast channels.

The beloved sit-com wasn`t a critical or ratings success during its original run, but it became a monster hit in syndication. The Brady Bunch was must-watch TV in the 80s, 90`s and even today it still garners decent ratings.

It`s unlikely that a sit-com, or any type of program, has the ability to unite America like the Brady Bunch. In the digital age when cable TV, satellite TV, streaming services, podcasts and Internet shows provide us with a gazillion and one choices, it`s almost impossible for a program to break through the niche universe and become a huge hit that is watched by a majority of the American public.

When I was a teenager I watched the Brady Bunch; my friends and I identified with one of the Brady boys and had a crush on one of the Brady sisters. I had a strong physical resemblance to Greg, and I identified with him, and I was madly in love with groovy, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

Truth be told I also had a crush on Carol Brady, not only did male teens idolize her as the perfect TV mom, we also fantasied about going to 3rd base with her.

Carol Brady will live forever in syndication, but alas the actress Florence Henderson has died.

America`s Mom has died, and as homage to Carol Brady, I won`t turn on my TV today.

Read More:

http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/florence-henderson-the-brady-bunch-actress-dead-at-82-w452384

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Kanye West is Loco! Who’s Responsible for Driving Him Nuts?

kanye-west

“Kanye West`s condition might be worse than originally thought.

The recently hospitalized rapper`s health problems stem from more than just sleep deprivation and serious dehydration, TMZ reports.

The `Fade` artist, 39, is said to be in a disconcerting mental state, and it`s unlikely he`ll be released from the hospital Thursday to celebrate Thanksgiving at home, sources told the celebrity gossip site.

His psychological issues are reportedly serious enough that insurance is likely to cover the money lost by West abruptly canceling the remainder of his `Saint Pablo Tour,` which still had 21 shows remaining. “

The New York Daily News

You don`t have to be a rocket scientist or a psychologist to discern that Kanye West has serious issues; his mental problems predate his marriage to Kim Kardashian. The Kardashians can be blamed for the decline of Western Civilization, global warming and the coarsening of public discourse, but it`s unfair to blame them for West`s precarious mental condition.

Why then is Kanye West stark raving mad?

You don`t need gaydar to deduce that Kanye West is the gayest rapper in history, but West hasn`t come out of the closet because in the testosterone-fueled rap genre homosexuality is anathema. Is the conflict between West`s gay inner self, and his public macho persona driving him batty?

West has an enormous ego, he frequently compares himself to God. Only the Almighty can handle being omniscient and omnipotent without going nuts, a human being with a God complex will eventually end up in a mental institution.

Although the Kardashians aren`t directly responsible for making West bonkers, Bruce Jenner`s transformation into Caitlyn Jenner may have been the straw that broke the camel`s back. Normal human beings look with disgust at the freak formerly known as Bruce Jenner, but we don`t have to invite him to Thanksgiving dinner. Imagine the agony and confusion of an unfortunate soul with a tormented mind having to deal with the likes of Jenner on a regular basis.

West can only regain his sanity if he does the following:

Come out of the closet!

Kick Kim Kardashian to the curb!

Pimp slap Caitlyn Jenner

Admit publicly that he`s just a wanker and not God!

Read More:

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/kanye-west-issues-sleep-deprivation-dehydration-report-article-1.2886199

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia