Hillary Clinton Must Disappear for the Good of the Democratic Party


Hillary Clinton has been keeping a low profile since she suffered the humiliation of losing to a clown with an orange face, tiny hands and the most famous micropenis in the world.

She`s been behaving like a typical grandmother: Hiking, walking her pooch, and browsing at bookstores. Chappaqua residents who are unfamiliar with Hillary`s decades of political corruption, might think she`s just a friendly well-to-do grandma enjoying her golden years.

The Hillary who mocked Donald Trump on the campaign trail, and who was loud, shrill and annoying in her stump speech, is finally quiet. (God, I thought nothing could silence the witch)

But those of us who recognize Hillary as a nasty woman shouldn`t let down our guard, the demon-possessed wretch may yet make another run for the White House.

Hillary announced last week that she would support recounts in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania, that doesn`t sound to me like a witch who will ride off in a broom into the sunset, and never be heard from again.

Patriots must be ever vigilant, and not give Hillary a moment of peace until the Grim Reaper drags her away to hell.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Donald Trump is Right! Ohio State University Terrorist Shouldn’t Have Been in America


“President-elect Donald Trump tweeted early Wednesday to report that ISIS was taking credit for the attack at Ohio State University by student Abdul Razak Ali Artan, and that Artan, who was a refugee from Somalia, `should not have been in our country.`

Artan allegedly drove a vehicle into a crowd of pedestrians and attacked others with a butcher knife, injuring 11. He was fatally shot by an campus police officer.

Artan was a legal permanent resident of the United States with no history of violence or allegiance to terrorist organizations. Artan and his family fled Somalia for Pakistan in 2007 and came to the U.S. in 2014.”


Almost immediately after the Islamist terrorist attack on the Ohio State University campus Monday the attacker was identified as Abdul Razak Ali Artan, a refugee from Somalia.

The Ohio State University attack followed the modus operandi of dozens of ISIS terrorists and lone wolf ISIS sympathizers who have carried out attacks in Europe and the United States.

Within a couple of hours of the cowardly attack it was learned that Artan posted this message on his Facebook page:

America! Stop interfering with other countries, especially the Muslim Ummah. If you want us Muslims to stop carrying out lone wolf attacks, then make peace with `dawla in al sham.` Make a pact or a treaty with them where you promise to leave them alone.
Artan also informed his Facebook friends that he had reached a “boiling point.” You didn`t have to be a rocket scientist or an expert in Islamic terrorism to  immediately deduce that Artan was an Islamic terrorist or a lone wolf sympathizer.

But the mainstream media kept describing the cowardly scum as a “young man”, and they cautioned us not to draw any conclusions from the facts that had already been uncovered. To this day most reporters are still repeating the damnable lie that we don`t know what motivated Artan to attempt to kill innocent civilians.

No wonder Trump won the election even though he`s a racist ignoramus — at least he tells it like it is, and doesn`t bow down before the God of political correctness.

Trump is spot on, Artan should never have been in America! We shouldn`t accept any refugees or immigrants from terrorist hellholes like Somalia.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Snoop Dogg and Hillary Clinton Follow Each Other on Twitter


“Since Hillary Clinton lost the presidential election she has gone for a relaxing hike in the woods, browsed a bookstore and stopped by the grocery store to stock up on cheese.

But perhaps her most amazing move since Election Day took place recently, when she made the decision to follow her loyal fan, Snoop Dogg, on Twitter.

Snoop, the rapper and avid Clinton supporter, has not been shy about his political preferences. In fact, he was so upset by the results of the election that he asked his buddy Drake to help him flee the country and start a new life in Canada.”


Let me start this essay by pleading with Snoop Dog not to flee to Canada, America can`t survive a Trump administration without his cool and calming presence.

Now that Hillary has lost the election and her political career is over, and maintaining a pristine public image is no longer a necessity, she should let her hair down, and stock up on weed, instead of cheese. Her online buddy, Snoop Dogg, can hook her up with the best grass in the world.

I`m not a fan of crooked Hillary Clinton, but Snoop Dogg is my idol, and I hope and pray that he stays in America and continues to bless us with his music.

With Snoop blasting on my stereo, and my  survival kit consisting of the dankest marijuana, I`m ready to survive a Zombie Apocalypse and a Trump administration.

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America Has Elected a Racist Moron: Get Used To It!


On Monday Michigan is expected to certify its presidential election results that will officially give Donald Trump well over 300 electoral votes, by any measure an Electoral College landslide.

Meanwhile the votes are still being tallied in California, and Hillary Clinton has now expanded her popular-vote lead to more than two million (64.4 million to 62.3 million.)

Hillary`s popular-vote victory and her senior citizen`s discount card might get her a cup of coffee for less than $2 at Starbucks, but it won`t change the outcome of the election.

This had led some disappointed and disgruntled Democrats to call for the Electoral College system to be revised or abolished, but that`s not going to happen. The Senate will unanimously pass a declaration stating that Donald Trump is a scholar, gentleman and a gifted statesman with the most beautiful and impressive penis in the universe, before the Electoral College is abolished.

Abolishing the Electoral College would require an amendment to the United States Constitution — which would need a two-thirds majority in both the House and the Senate, and then it would have to be ratified by 38 states. You don`t have to be a political science major or a rocket scientist to deduce that`s impossible in today`s partisan political climate.

Our presidential election system is what it is, and hard as it may be, we must resign ourselves to the reality that we have elected a know-nothing racist egomaniac as President of the United States.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Donald Trump Needs to Adopt a Pet to Soften His Image


“Election Day 2016 brought surprises and firsts. Donald Trump will be the only president in U.S. history with no military or political experience and the oldest and richest president ever sworn into office. Melania Trump might be the first of all the first ladies to telecommute.

“But one first has seldom been mentioned: Barring a new addition to his household between now and Jan. 20, Donald Trump will be the first president in 150 years who does not have a pet.

If horses are included, every president except James K. Polk and Andrew Johnson has owned a pet for at least part of his term in office, and with these furry first friends have come a host of political benefits. Aside from the possible physical and psychological benefits they`ve bestowed on first families, presidential pets have for decades served to soften the president`s image and garnered positive White House news coverage.”

The Washington Post

There isn`t exactly a wave of euphoria and optimism at the prospect of Donald J. Trump`s inauguration as the 45th President of the United States. Even Trump`s most fervent supporters are anxious and apprehensive about how he will perform in office.

When millions of American`s think of Trump these are the words and phrases that come to mind: Racist, clueless, Oompa Loompa, divisive, disgusting tiny hands, blowhard billionaire, farting machine, liar, crazy wig, fascist, pussy grabbing misogynist  …

If anybody needs an intervention from a team of public relations experts, hair stylists and fashionistas it`s Trump. His bellicose image desperately needs to be softened, and nothing humanizes a controversial person quite like a pet.

When I saw images of President Obama frolicking with Bo, his Portuguese Water Dog, it made me forget for a moment that he was a Kenyan-born usurper who was systematically destroying our democracy.

If Trump tweeted a pic cuddling with a cat or walking a dog, his approval ratings would skyrocket, but I wouldn`t wish that fate on any animal. Trump would be the worst pet owner in history, he would forget to feed them, he would kick his dog if Rosie O`Donnell blasted him on Twitter, and he would strangle his cat if it scratched his tiny hands.

As a pet owner and animal lover I hope and pray that Trump doesn`t adopt a pet!

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Robert Paul Reyes Answers Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Hillary Clinton

“Google Trends has revealed that the most recent top trending question asked about presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton is whether she`s going to jail or not.”


After the outrage over the private meeting that Attorney General Loretta Lynch had with Bill Clinton, she now says that she will follow the recommendations of prosecutors on whether to file criminal charges at the close of their investigation.

So the answer to the top trending question is maybe the corrupt witch will actually be indicted and serve jail time.

Your favorite blogger will now answer other top questions about Hillary:


Is the Pope Catholic?  Is the sky blue? Bitc* please! Damn skippy she is! Not that there`s anything wrong with being a lesbian, but being too cowardly to come out of the closet, and trying to fool the public into thinking you`re straight by entering into a marriage of political convenience with Bill Clinton is just wrong, wrong, wrong!


No! Warren is too headstrong for Hillary`s taste, she will choose a seasoned politician she can make her bitc*, most likely Sen. Tim Kaine.


Yes, who else would knock boots with Hillary?


Yes, both she and her hubby will have intimate relationships with female interns


Retire from politics, and break the glass ceiling by becoming the first female celebrity spokesperson for reverse mortgages.


Even a freak like me ain`t touching that one!

Who needs Google Trends when you have Robert Paul Reyes to answer your questions?

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Is Obama a Secret Muslim, Michelle Obama a Transsexual, and Hillary Clinton a Clone?


Barack Hussein Obama is a covert Muslim.

Michelle Obama is a transsexual.

Hillary Clinton is actually dead and a clone has taken her place.

Donald Trump and Ivanka Trump have an illicit love baby.

Why are these patently false rumors believed by millions?

Because there is more than a kernel of truth to them!

Shortly before deciding to enter politics Barack Hussein Obama embraced the Christian faith out of political expediency. It`s almost impossible for a black politician to gain any traction without the support of the black church, so the atheist Obama joined Jeremiah Wright`s racist black Christian church.

But I can understand why millions believe that Obama is secretly a Muslim, he never misses an opportunity to pander to Muslims.

Michelle Obama has the build of an NFL linebacker, but the media insists that she`s a beautiful fashion icon. Michelle has more in common with a drag queen than Jackie Kennedy, to whom she is often compared.

I mean who are you going to believe your lying eyes, or the left-leaning media? There are several videos on YouTube that argue that Michelle is a transsexual. I don`t believe that Michelle is a tranny, but I can understand why these videos have racked up millions of views.

I don`t believe that Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka are having an incestuous relationship, but the way the Donald can`t keep his tiny hands from patting her butt is very unnerving.

I don`t believe that Hillary Clinton is actually dead and has been replaced by a clone. Although it`s true that there isn`t enough room in the Library of Congress to contain her medical records, she is hanging on by the skin of her teeth to make it to the White House before the Grim Reaper drags her to hell.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Golden Pheasant Dead Ringer for Donald Trump


“A curious creature with audacious golden plumage has fascinated the world. We all watch intently as he struts about, soaking in the attention he knows he commands. An enigma, is he. What secret intent lies behind those sharp blue eyes?

Anyway, enough about Donald Trump. Check out this crazy bird.

This glorious golden pheasant at the Hangzhou Safari Park has become a thing because, well, look at him. He’s got that ‘Trump hair in the front, medieval samurai in the back’ thing going on. His nickname is ‘Little Red.’ Oh, he’s perfect. We really needed this today.”


At this time of the year it’s tempting to compare Donald Trump to a Thanksgiving Day turkey, but there’s another bird that’s a dead ringer for the strutting peacock with the orange face.

Meet “Little Red” the golden pheasant who looks just like Trump, he sports an identical hairdo to the brash billionaire, and he also has a penchant for pooping all over the place.

I wish “Little Red” was sitting in the Oval Office instead of “Big Orange”, if an Internet troll bashed Little Red’s appearance on Twitter, he wouldn’t peck at the nuclear button and plunge us into a nuclear winter.

The distinctive bird has been described as the pheasant-elect by People’s Daily, China. The Communist country always gets the best of us in trade deals, America can finally win by trading our prick-elect for their pheasant-elect.

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Gay Lovebirds Engage in Epic Fight: Assault With Cup of Top Ramen Noodles!

“A Florida man was arrested for domestic battery after striking his live-in boyfriend with a cup of ramen noodles, police report.


Michael Herrick, 40, and his beau got into a verbal argument at their residence in regards to questions of infidelity.

The 12:30 AM dispute in the couple’s Pinellas Park home turned violent when Herrick threw a cup of ramen noodles at the victim, who was struck in the neck by the noodles. Herrick, cops noted, said that ‘water was thrown on him’ prior to his noodle tossing.

After cops concluded that Herrick was the incident’s primary aggressor, he was arrested for domestic battery. The 6’ 7”, 200-pound Herrick was booked into jail on the misdemeanor count and released from custody yesterday afternoon on his own recognizance.”

The Smoking Gun

You’d expect a flurry of brutal punches and a savage kick or two to be delivered in a fight involving two guys, especially considering one of the men was 6’7”, and tipped the scales at 200-pounds.

But when the cops arrived at the scene of the epic fight, the combatants didn’t have any bruises, abrasions or broken bones.

One of the lovebirds was slightly wet — his boyfriend had the temerity to toss a paper cup of water at him. The other gentleman was clutching his neck; his boyfriend had the audacity to hurl a cup of noodles at him.


After the cops were finished snickering they arrested the dude who threw the cup of Top Ramen noodles, he was judged to have been the instigator.

The police officers should have lashed these two jokers with a wet noodle for wasting their time.

I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, but if I was freaking gay I wouldn’t call the cops if my boyfriend assaulted me with a cup of Top Ramen noodles. I would be too ashamed of living up to the stereotype of gay men being deplorable sissies.


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Hillary Clinton Has Only Herself to Blame

“Hillary Clinton on Saturday cast blame for her surprise election loss on the announcement by the F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, days before the election that he had revived the inquiry into her use of a private email server.

In her most extensive remarks since she conceded the race to Donald J. Trump early Wednesday, Mrs. Clinton told donors on a 30-minute conference call that Mr. Comey’s decision to send a letter to Congress about the inquiry 11 days before Election Day had thrust the controversy back into the news and had prevented her from ending the campaign with an optimistic closing argument.

‘There are lots of reasons why an election like this is not successful,’ Mrs. Clinton said, according to a donor who relayed the remarks. But, she added, ‘our analysis is that Comey’s letter raising doubts that were groundless, baseless, proven to be, stopped our momentum.'”

New York Times

Hillary Clinton is correct that there were a lot of reasons why she lost the election, but she’s disingenuously  deflecting blame, by pointing the finger at the FBI director.

Comey’s bombshell coming just days before the election brought her momentum to a screeching halt, and forced her to end her campaign on a negative note trashing Trump, instead of highlighting her positive agenda.

But Hillary needs to take a hard look in the mirror, most of the reasons why she was defeated emanate from her defective personality.

It was Hillary’s enormous ego that caused her to campaign in red states in the closing weeks of the campaign, instead of shoring up her support  in blue states like Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. Hillary was going for an electoral college landslide, and instead even traditional blue states turned red.

It was Hillary’s feeling that she was above the law that caused the server controversy. She has only herself to blame for the email scandal, not Comey or a vast right-wing conspiracy.

It was Hillary’s lack of transparency that kept her from divulging her medical history. If Hillary had announced that she was suffering from pneumonia, the September, 11, 2016 feinting episode would have been a minor blip, instead of an incident that caused many voters to wonder if she had serious medical issues.

It was Hillary’s mean and vindictive spirit that motivated her to base her entire campaign trying to discredit and disqualify Trump, instead of running a positive campaign on the issues important to the electorate: It’s the economy stupid!

It was Hillary’s corrupt nature that embroiled her in one scandal after another stretching back decades, the email and Clinton Foundation scandals were just the final straws that broke the camel’s back.

Hillary failed to shatter the glass ceiling, her dream of becoming the first female president of the United States is shattered, and she has only herself to blame.