Wise Mall Santa Brings Little Brat to Tears After Refusing to Bring Him a Nerf Gun for Christmas

Santa Claus is a symbol of mindless consumerism and I don’t expect him to be an arbiter of social norms. But I was pleasantly surprised when a child asked Santa for a gun, and he replied, “No, no guns.” When the kid, who looked too old to believe in Santa, clarified that he wanted a Nerf gun, St. Nick replied:

“Nope. If your dad wants to get it for you, that’s fine, But I can’t bring it to you.”

Santa went the extra mile by trying to convince the petulant brat to consider other options – including Legos, toy cars and trucks and even a bike – but the boy wasn’t pleased with his response and cried like a little brat.

Toy guns are anathema, even Nerf guns, because they represent the very real guns that kill thousands of innocent citizens every year, including many children who die in mass shootings in schools.

In a couple of years when this kid gets a BB gun for Christmas, I wouldn’t be surprised if he shoots his indulgent mom if she doesn’t let him play video games.

The mall Santa was pilloried on social media, but it’s worth nothing that he was diplomatic and suggested that his father could get the odious toy for him.

Santas usually promise to give a child whatever he asks for whether it’s a pony, a video game console or an iPhone, thank God this Santa taught this child a valuable lesson: You can’t always get what you want.

Kilt-wearing Santa From Hell Rides a Unicycle in Portland: Video

“An Oregon man was filmed doing his part to keep Portland weird by dressing up as a Scottish Santa and playing flaming bagpipes while riding a unicycle.

Brian Kidd, aka The Unipiper, posted a video to YouTube showing him ringing in the holiday season in a festively eccentric fashion.”


A kilt-wearing Santa riding a unicycle and playing flaming bagpipes is wrong on so many levels.

Only in Portland, a city renowned for its weird vibe, could you get away with pulling this stunt, in any other city this man would have been tarred, feathered and kicked to the curb.

Anyone riding a unicycle is an attention-seeking whore, the kilt and the flaming bagpipes are just overkill.

A Santa wearing a kilt is an abomination; I hope and pray Kidd gets run over by reindeer.

Merry Christmas to my readers in Portland and all over the world!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes



Pastor From Hell Heckles Kids at Mall: There Is No Santa

“Pastor Dave Grisham filmed himself Saturday standing in an Amarillo, Texas mall and heckling children as they waited in line to meet Santa.

He walked up to the line of families waiting to meet Santa and announced: Kids, I want to tell you today that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Santa Claus does not exist.

He continued: The Christmas season is about Jesus. Jesus was born 2,016 years ago. He was born in a manger in a small town called Bethlehem.

‘Don’t lie to your children and tell them there’s such thing as Santa, when you know in reality that there are no flying reindeer, there is no workshop of the North Pole, there is no elves making toys, that you buy all gifts and put them under tree. That’s all the truth!'”

The American Mirror

The Apostle Paul told the congregation at Corinth that they were ambassadors for Christ, an ambassador for the loving Jesus should exercise tact and diplomacy in preaching the Gospel message.

The loud and obnoxious Pastor Grinch succeeded only in turning people away from the Gospel with his self-serving publicity stunt.

How would Grisham like it if an atheist walked into his church while his congregation waited in line to receive communion, and shouted: Jesus died some 2,000 years ago! He didn’t rise from the dead! Stop believing in myths and fables!

Let’s get real, the Christmas season isn’t about Jesus or Santa, it’s about mindless consumerism, greed, and attending Bacchanalian office parties.

I pray that a prophet filled with the holiday spirit will take a giant King James Bible and spank the hell out of Pastor Asshole if he pulls this stunt again.

Pooch Loves Santa


“A pair of Florida siblings captured their 1-year-old dog`s joy at meeting the real-life version of her favorite chew toy: Santa Claus.

John Mantaldo, 16, and sister Angelina Mantaldo, 19, said their 1-year-old Shiba Inuna dog, Kya, has been infatuated with her Santa Claus chew toy ever since they got it for her when she first came home last Christmas.

The siblings brought Kya to their local mall in Orlando to meet Santa in person.”

A pooch loves to chew on her Santa Claus chew toy, so her owners take her to the mall to meet Santa in person. This makes as much sense as a dog owner tracking down where his mailman lives, so he can take his mailman hating-pet to meet him in person.

This had all the potential of being a bloodbath at the mall, but instead of chewing the bloody hell out of Santa, Kya had a huge smile on her face when she met the Jolly Old Bastard.

All the kids waiting in line to see Santa got a double treat, they got to sit on Santa`s lap and pet the adorable pooch.

I wish all my readers a Happy Holiday Season!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia