When’s the Last Time Fat Pig Trump Saw His Penis?

August 26, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

“Well, Mr. President, from one fat pig to another, take it from me that physical fitness is very important. And trust me, you’ll be happy to see your penis again. It’s crazy. Think about this, y’all. In the last few years, I’ve lost 300 pounds. That means I’ve lost an entire Donald Trump.”

Jelly Roll ragging on Trump on “Kimmel”

Donald Trump, known for being thin-skinned and narcissistic, gets his panties in a twist over a few mild jokes Jimmy Kimmel makes at his expense. I imagine he is shitting bricks over the crude joke Jelly Roll made about Trump’s weight on “Kimmel.” I mean Jelly Roll really rolled that fat bastard.

What stronger motivation could Trump have to lose a few pounds than finally being able to see his tiny pecker again? Granted, no one else wants that view, and I feel sorry for Stormy Daniels and the other sex workers who had to endure it. Still, Trump would surely be thrilled to spot his tiny, mushroom-shaped manhood once more.

I can imagine what Trump might post on Truth Social if he could see his tiny pecker again:

“I am protected by the armor of God—specifically, a presidential sword more powerful than Excalibur. No one has ever seen such a mighty weapon; John Holmes and Ron Jeremy would envy it. Arnold Palmer would rise from the grave to honor my manhood.”

He would probably post an AI-enhanced image of himself. Hopefully, Natalie Harper would persuade him not to embarrass himself by sharing such nonsense.

Don’t Ever Send Me a Hallmark Card

August 25, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

I am a pragmatic, unsentimental soul who prefers dystopian science fiction movies, gritty documentaries, and crime thrillers, especially those that feature serial killers.

Naturally, cheesy Hallmark movies are anathema to me: their predictable plots, sanitized small towns, and exaggerated romantic tropes are unbearable. Happy endings may belong in a massage room, but in a feel-good Hallmark movie, they are nauseating.

The Hallmark brand feels conformist, manufactured, and bland; thankfully, I can easily ignore the Hallmark Movie Channel among hundreds of streaming options.

Although many Hallmark mall locations have closed over the years, some remain open. Since only baby boomers seem to send physical greeting cards, how do these relics stay profitable?

I may be old, but I still cannot stand Hallmark’s saccharine sensibility. I only hope no prankster googles me and sends me one of its greeting cards.

Let’s Hope Trump’s Fatty Diet Will Lead to Premature Death

August 23, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

“The 80-year-old president weighed approximately 238 pounds at his physical exam in May – 14 pounds more than last year and 23 pounds more than the 215 pounds he was listed at in 2023, documented when he was arrested in Georgia, the newspaper noted.”

Independent

The average human bowel movement weighs between 4 and 16 ounces; fat people generally produce more waste than normal individuals. A portly pig like Trump creates enough feces to fertilize the White House front lawn. To get an accurate weight, the defecator-in chief’s diaper should be changed before a physician weighs him.

A leopard does not change his spots, and a morbidly obese octogenarian is not going to shed any pounds. Trump loves him some McDonald’s burgers and fries lathered in ketchup, I am not a physician, but my prognosis is that he is going to continue to pack on the pounds until the Grim Reaper hauls his roly-poly ass to hell.

Physicians warn that the beefy buffoon’s weight gain is a significant risk factor for several health problems, including premature disability and death.

Thank God that none of Trump’s doctors have the balls to tell the pudgy pedophile that if he does not lose a lot of weight he might die of a stroke or heart attack.

May Trump’s plate always be full of burgers, fries, and meatloaf.

Trump Puts His Ugly Mug on Reflecting Pool

August 22, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

Everything Donald Trump touches seems to turn into faux gold, shit, or algae. The decorator-in-chief had the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool drained and repainted “American-flag blue” earlier this year, only for algae blooms to quickly turn the water green and the blue paint to start peeling soon after.

This week, the shitposter-in-chief uploaded an A.I.-generated image of the infamous pool featuring a silhouette of his ghastly face in a shade of green not dissimilar to cheap gold jewelry that has turned green.

Let’s hope the rage-baiter-in-chief is only trolling liberals, because nothing could be worse than a reflecting pool bearing the silhouette of Trump’s ugly mug—not even discovering the bodies of homeless people floating on its surface.

If the narcissist-in-chief does order the pool to feature an image of his face, let us hope it does not fade—otherwise, the liar-in-chief will blame vandals.

Nepo Senator Darline Graham Unfit to Serve in Senate

August 19, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

Darline Graham became a Senator for South Carolina on July 14, 2026, after being appointed by South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster to fill the vacancy left by her brother, the late Senator Lindsey Graham.

While the official constitutional power to appoint her belonged to McMaster, to be clear President Donald Trump practically ordered him to appoint the thoroughly unqualified sister of Lindsey Graham.

If Trump had ordered his lackey to appoint Lady G’s kitten CiCi, the adorable tabby would be running for office.

Before her appointment to the Senate, Darline Graham had never run for or held elected office, not even dogcatcher.

Her lack of experience became clear when she was asked whether the United States has a national security interest in Taiwan and the South China Sea. She replied, “I’m just going to be honest here. I’m … not that informed on national security.”

Are you kidding me? She is trying to succeed her brother, whose political reputation was built on hawkish foreign policy. Of course, his approach was hardly sophisticated; it mostly amounted to declaring war against Muslim-majority countries in service of Israel.

Darline Graham’s résumé rests on her last name, her platform centers on loyalty to Trump, and her confidence appears rooted in white privilege. She does not deserve to serve in the Senate.

Trump’s Boxy Rump Stump’s Internet

August 17, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

“White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt shared a clip of the President leaving a rally on Friday, but his rear end appeared to be much boxier than usual.

A somewhat rigid outline was spotted near the back of Trump’s suit and has now prompted further speculation about the 80-year-old’s potential health issues.”

Metro.

Usually, President Donald Trump’s spinster-shaped mouth draws most of the press’s attention. No one can predict what bizarre, crude, or foolish remarks will come from the foul orifice.

Today, however, attention has shifted to his other asshole, fueling speculation about the octogenarian’s health. In what appeared to be a final jab at her former boss, former Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt posted a video that depicted him carrying a lot of junk in his trunk.

The incontinent moron eats like a pig and often lumbers around with a full diaper. But this time, his rear end looked unusually boxy—so what was going on?

Was Trump hiding the most incriminating Epstein files in his rump? Or perhaps a giant Bible—given how often he shits on the values Jesus represents.

I just hope he’s gone soon so I no longer have to write essays about him; my Trump pieces always end up dwelling on his filth.

Trump’s ‘Zapper Aide’ Zaps the Idiot Awake

August 16, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

Donald Trump, 80, has a penchant for dozing off in the most importune times, during high-profile public events, meetings, press conferences and ceremonies.

Trump appears to be deteriorating, with his senses failing—including his hearing—so an aide cannot simply whisper, “Wake up; you’re embarrassing yourself.”

During a recent press briefing where Trump and Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. promulgating the fake news that childhood vaccinations cause autism, Trump slumped sideways, his eyes closed and his sphincter-shaped mouth hanging open.

Trump aide Jayme Leagh was standing behind him, her hand suspiciously positioned over her midsection, wearing a red scarf that partially concealed the movements of her hand.

The internet has dubbed the winsome aide “The Zapper” because each time Jayme seemed to press her stomach, Trump suddenly snapped awake. Was she concealing a button beneath her clothing to jolt “Drowsy Don” back to consciousness?

“The Zapper” jolts the slumbering fool awake whenever he nods off. When my computer freezes, I shut it down completely, restart it, and the problem disappears. Jayme should press the button long enough to switch Trump off for good. The MAGA faithful worship him as their messiah, so they should trust that he will rise again in three days.

Polish Billionaire Erects Europe’s Tallest Virgin Mary Statue

August 15, 2026robertpaulreyes Leave a comment

Europe is a postmodern, post Christian, secular society, where the only believers are Muslim immigrants and a sprinkling of Marian devotees.

Poland remains a Catholic stronghold, but its Catholic identity is rapidly weakening, in the 2021 census, 71 percent of people identified as Roman Catholic, down sharply from 88 percent a decade earlier.

Roman Karkosik, a Polish billionaire, is trying to revive the ancient faith by building a 180 feet tall statue of the Virgin Mary, the second tallest Marian statue in Europe, second only to the colossal 332 feet monument of the Virgin Mary in the Philippines.

The devout billionaire spent $26 million on what critics call a monstrosity—money they argue would have been better used for housing, hospitals, and orphanages.

To capture young people’s attention, Karkosik might have been better off creating a holographic Virgin Mary that could twerk, sing, and rap.

The word “virgin” is anathema to the young that Christianity needs to reach, they should call the monument the “Virile Mary” or the “Voluptuous Mary”. Just saying.

Karkosik’s quixotic quest to revive a fading faith seems doomed: a silent, immobile stone statue stands as a monument to a moribund Catholicism.

Trump and Evangelicals are Pulling America Down the Toilet

August 12, 2026robertpaulreyes

Like flies feasting on dung, like streetwalkers timidly walking behind their pimp, like piranhas gnawing on dead fish, like vultures circling over carrion, white evangelicals have glommed onto the most despicable thing on god’s creation: the streaming pile of human shit masquerading as a human being, Donald Trump.

Because white evangelicals’ religious beliefs are deeply racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and misanthropic, it is unsurprising that they have glommed onto the sociopathic, fascist, and racist Trump.

Like a leech clinging to a corpulent fool in a stagnant pond, evangelicals have latched onto Trump for survival and remain loyal to him at any cost.

They are spiraling down the toilet with Trump, taking our democracy, liberties, and way of life with them.

Centuries from now, historians may lament that a minority of nihilistic fundamentalists destroyed the greatest democracy on Earth.

MAGA White Christian Nationalism is Opposed to Genuine Christianity and Democracy

August 9, 2026robertpaulreyes

Evangelicals are taught not to question authority; in many evangelical churches, the pastor is viewed as God’s anointed leader and challenging him is seen as rebellion against God.

Women and girls are taught to automatically submit to patriarchal authority, and any challenge to it is labeled as the spirit of Jezebel.

Obedience is the default mode, silence is the expected behavior, and those who do not engage and participate in groupthink are agents of the devil.

The Bible, considered the infallible Word of God, is meant to be interpreted literally. Evangelicals believe Jonah lived inside the belly of a whale for three days and nights, Moses parted the Red Sea, Joshua asked Jehovah to make the sun stand still—and He kept it in the middle of the sky for a day—and Elijah called down fire from heaven.

These “miracles” defy biology, physics, and common sense. Yet if an evangelical suggests that some biblical stories may be myths or allegories, they are denounced as heretics.

Evangelicals place unquestioning faith in their narrow interpretation of Scripture and often dismiss those who disagree as godless sinners.

MAGA evangelicals regard Donald Trump as God’s chosen leader, viewing any challenge to him as rebellion against both God and country.

Subservience is expected, silence and reverence are demanded, and those who refuse to worship Trump are branded godless communists.

The MAGA White Christian nationalist movement stands opposed to genuine Christianity and democracy, and patriots must resist it tooth and nail.

Trump’s New Wig Elicits Ridicule

August 6, 2026robertpaulreyes

On December 16, 2018, a day that will live in infamy, Stephen Miller, who would become the Nazi propagandist for the Trump regime, appeared with an altered, much lower hairline. The monster was mercilessly mocked for spraying paint on his balding pate.

Miller’s “Sherwin-Williams” makeover was widely viewed as the worst political makeover until Donald Trump appeared on August 5, 2026, wearing a ridiculous full wig that looked nothing like his usual wispy combover.

The blithering idiot was babbling incoherently at Las Vegas’ Red Rock Resort about his trade conflicts with the Canadian government, but afterwards all the commentary was about his huge headpiece.

Some men try to improve their appearance when they have a mid-life crisis, Trump, 80, Is trying to improve his appearance well into his second childhood. The steaming pile of human shit is fighting a losing battle, when you have racoon eyes, a mouth that resembles a sphincter, and a neck that looks like a vagina, the fanciest wig would only draw attention to his decaying, decrepit, and decomposing countenance.

Trump is a pile of crap that will easily flush down a toilet, but you may need a plunger to make sure his wig flushes down.

Trump’s Demon Face

August 5, 2026robertpaulreyes

I am a homebody; my home is my shelter from the chaos outside. I am afraid to venture outside and confront a sea of angry, mean, contemptuous and sullen faces. I even avoid making eye contact with my neighbors. When I walk my dog around my neighborhood I stare straight ahead, lest I notice the madness that might be taking place in my peripheral vision.

Even though I avoid people and seldom encounter anyone, as a misanthrope, I’m constantly troubled by a recurring face that unsettles me during the day and invades my dreams at night. I cannot escape Trump’s ungodly visage, it dominates my social media platforms, cable news outlets, newspapers, and magazines.

Is it any wonder Trump’s ugly puss gives me the heebie-jeebies? His raccoon eyes bore right into my soul, his sphincter-shaped mouth spews excrement, his wispy urine-colored wig gives me vertigo, and his vagina-looking neck shrivels my genitals.

It is not just me; the entire nation is suffering from Prosopometamorphopsia or “demon face syndrome,” a rare neurological disorder where real faces appear distorted, warped, or frightening. Although it is just one countenance that kills our collective spirt, the monstrosity that belongs to Trump.

We will not overcome our existential dread of the demon face monster until it is six feet under.

Dementia Don Has Lost Ability to Read an Audience

July 31, 2026robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump is widely criticized as incompetent, temperamental, vindictive, inconsistent, uninformed, and corrupt. In short, he is a buffoon who gives off a malodorous stench of sulfur and excrement.

However, the former reality-show host has a talent for self-promotion and a keen ability to read an audience. His skill at grifting has helped make him a multibillionaire, while his instinct for appealing to crowds has won him millions of devoted followers.

However, dementia has steadily eroded his ability to read an audience. In his prime, he instinctively knew how to appeal to his most fervent supporters, using provocative rhetoric and memorable catchphrases that resonated with his racist and homophobic base.

But his crowds are no longer enthralled by his rants, they scroll on their cellphones, chew tobacco and flirt with their cousins while he rambles incoherently.

It was bad enough when he had no control of his bowel movements, but now he has little control of his speech. Once he launches into his rambling “weave” style of speaking, he becomes so incoherent that he loses his thread entirely, leaving his audience dazed and confused.

The only place where Dementia Don should speak is at a rest home or an asylum.

Evangelical Influencer Preaches to Captive Audience on a Plane

July 25, 2026robertpaulreyes

There is nothing more insidious than an online influencer, and there is nothing cringier than an evangelical influencer. You think snakes on a plane is terrifying, imagine being stuck on a plane with an evangelical influencer.

Presley Mae Foster, a faith-based content creator, posted a video that drew more than three million views. In it, she delivered a sermonette, subjecting captive passengers to her fundamentalist version of Christianity.

I would rather be stuck on an airplane with a bevy load of sumo wrestlers suffering from explosive diarrhea than being trapped with just one MAGA evangelical with diarrhea of the mouth.

Imagine the plight of the hapless passengers: their plane is delayed on the tarmac, they are probably wondering what else could go wrong, and then this influencer starts discussing her faith with everyone onboard. It is like, bitch read the room, nobody wants to hear your shit. I would rather hear a wretched soul afflicted with Fournier’s gangrene, a rapidly spreading necrotizing infection of the perineum and genitalia, discuss his prognosis.

Foster said she felt the Holy Spirit urging her to share her faith. But the first rule of airplane etiquette is simple: if the Holy Ghost, Casper the Friendly Ghost, or any other spirit tells you to stand in the aisle and preach—or hold forth on any subject—don’t. Call Ghostbusters and have those mischievous ghosts removed.

We Need a Charlie Kirk Statue with Hole in Neck

July 20, 2026robertpaulreyes

New York sculptor Sergio Furnari seems out of step with the moment: unable to read the room, out of his element, and moving against the current.

This moron spent $100,000 of his own money to build a life-size statue of Charlie Kirk, only to find that no one wants to buy it.

The MAGA artist broke his foot while working on the monstrosity after tripping over a roll of tape in his studio. He should have taken it as a sign that the Almighty disapproved of his tribute to a racist piece of shit.

Furnari imagined the statue of the deceased far-right provocateur would be displayed in Times Square. Instead, he has been inundated with texts and emails from outraged New Yorkers who say they intend to urinate or defecate on the sculpture.

Furnari’s so-called “work of art” may find admirers in the gaudy confines of Mar-a-Lago, the gilded White House, or the pit of hell, but it has no place in New York, America’s multicultural mecca.

I lack the talent and skill to be a sculptor, but I am blessed with imagination, and I believe I could create a Charlie Kirk statue that New Yorkers would embrace.

I would design a water-fountain sculpture of Kirk with water flowing from a hole in his neck. The grotesque piece would stand in the middle of a pool overrun with mosquitoes and algae. Instead of tossing pennies into the pool for good luck, people could toss bullets.

Kirk may have been eulogized as a saint a year ago, but even the most devoted MAGA loyalists now recognize him as divisive and failed internet prankster. Screw Charlie Kirk, screw Furnari, and screw anyone who still admires him.

Watching Bison Fling Colonizer Grandpop in the Air an Orgasmic Experience

July 17, 2026robertpaulreyes

In the year 1800, there were an estimated 30 million to 60 million American bison roaming across North America. As European colonizers expanded westward, they slaughtered bison for hides, meat and leather, severely thinning the herds. The American military engaged in a systematic campaign to eradicate bison, and thereby wiping out Native Americans who relied on bison as their primary food source, clothing and livelihood.

The American government was ruthlessly efficient in killing millions of Native Americans and American bison, to the point that by 1900 the population of bison dropped to as few as 24 animals taking refuge in Yellowstone.

Modern wildlife conservation has successfully restored Yellowstone National Park’s bison population to about 5,000.

A descendant of the colonizers was taking photographs of a bison, when the angry animal ran him down and flipped the elderly hillbilly-looking moron 8ft in the air.

The hero bison exacted revenge for the millions of bison and Indians slaughtered by the colonizers.

Few things in recent memory have brought me as much joy as watching the bison launch that trespassing colonizer into the air. The Facebook algorithm understands me better than my family; every other post in my feed is a bison meme. I no longer count sheep to fall asleep—I count flying hillbillies.

E. Jean Carroll Collects $5 Million Damage Award from Trump

July 15, 2026robertpaulreyes

Three years after a jury determined that President Donald Trump had to pay $5 million in damages to journalist E. Jean Carroll for abuse and defamation, she has finally been paid.

To be clear, after sexual predator Donald Trump was found guilty of sexual abuse in a civil trial, he refused to accept the verdict and defamed Carroll and was held legally and financially responsible in a subsequent trial.

Trump uses his immense wealth and political power to get away with insurrection, corruption, sexual harassment, fraud and all manner of other crimes, but at least in this case he discovered that nobody is above the law, not even the president of the United States.

Carroll, a frail octogenarian, wasn’t afraid to take the most powerful man in the world to court. “I don’t understand how people can be afraid of a fat elderly man who wears apricot makeup”, she famously quipped.

If only Carroll would inspire Republican politicians to confront Trump’s corruption. Why are they terrified of a silly fat man, with a mouth that looks like an anus, and a neck that looks like a vagina? For the love of God, stand up to the petulant man-child!

Lindsey Graham Dead at 71, Good Riddance

July 12, 2026robertpaulreyes

Sen. Lindsey Graham, known for his support of the fascist President Donald Trump and the genocidal state of Israel, died after a “brief and sudden illness,” per his office.

He died suddenly of a heart attack without an opportunity to reflect on his greatest successes and his most agonizing regrets.

I suspect his greatest personal regret was never coming out. In Washington, and far beyond it, everyone knew he was gay. Gaydar was not needed to reach that conclusion; even Edith Bunker would have realized that he sashayed on the gay side of the street.

Although Senator Lindsey Graham was not as openly anti-LGBTQ as Rep. Andy Ogles, who posted an explicitly anti-gay message on social media during Pride Month, Graham’s career was marked by a consistent voting record against LGBTQ rights and protections.

He died without publicly presenting his true self, and he will be remembered as an adversary of the community to which he belonged.

His greatest political mistake was embracing Donald Trump, whom he once condemned in stark terms. In 2016, Graham warned that if Republicans nominated Trump, “we will get destroyed, and we will deserve it.” He also called Trump “a kook” and “a race-baiting, xenophobic religious bigot.”

After Trump’s 2016 victory, Graham reversed course and became ensconced in Trump’s rectum until his death. He will be remembered as a supporter of the incompetent, corrupt, and evil Trump, whom he secretly despised.

His greatest foreign policy mistake was supporting the genocidal state of Israel, the blood of thousands of Palestinians, Lebanese and Iranians is on his hands. Graham put the interests of Israel over those of the USA, and he will be remembered as a heartless monster who was complicit in the genocide of the Palestinian people.

I do not mourn the passing of Graham. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Walking Down Stairs is an Existential Threat for Trump

July 9, 2026robertpaulreyes

Climbing stairs may seem more physically demanding than going down them, but descending actually places greater physical, visual, and neurological demands on the brain.

Trump’s cautious movements on stairs have become a recurring symbol of his stumbling administration. Videos have shown him repeatedly climbing—and especially descending—stairs with visible hesitation.

When the morbidly obese octogenarian descends the stairs from Air Force One, he moves slowly and deliberately, eyes fixed on each step. He pauses on a small landing to steady himself before continuing his precarious descent, one tiny hand gripping the bannister the entire way.

It is easy to see why descending stairs seems so daunting for Trump: he must rely on his swollen cankles to support his heavy frame while trusting his bruised and decomposing tiny hand to steady him on the way down.

It would not be surprising if Trump saw his pathetic and miserable life flash before his eyes every time, he walked down stairs.

Trump’s Reading List: Newspapers Articles About Him

July 8, 2026robertpaulreyes

President Barack Obama, a former constitutional law professor, regularly publishes widely anticipated reading lists. He established this tradition during his presidency and continues to share curated selections of his favorite books multiple times a year.

Not only presidents but most politicians and other public figures love to share their favorite books to show off their intellectual gravitas.

President Donald Trump, a former reality show star and WWE wrestler, has never published a reading list. If he did my guess is that it would be a carefully curated list of coloring books and comic books.

Recently Trump appeared on a podcast hosted by Second Lady Usha Vance. The show called Storytime with the Second Lady, features casual conversation alongside literary readings.

The Second Lady, taking into consideration her guest’s dementia and functional illiteracy, invited him for an episode featuring children’s books.

During the episode, Vance asked the president whether he had “any time to read for fun these days.”

Trump replied: “I am currently reading Ecclesiastes, a book about the search for meaning in a world that is temporary, unpredictable, and often unfair. And for light reading I consume anything written by Proust.

This is the buffoon’s real answer:

“So, I end up reading mostly newspapers. I usually read stories about myself.”

Off course the fucking narcissistic morn reads only newspaper articles about himself. God, I can’t wait until the Grim Reaper flushes the steaming pile of human shit down the toilet.

I Can’t Wait Until Death Finally Silences Trump

July 5, 2026robertpaulreyes

The D.C Independence Day fireworks show which commenced after Donald Trump delivered his divisive and self-aggrandizing tirade concluded just moments before midnight.

After a day of bombast, braggadocio, and bile, one might have expected the octogenarian president to go straight to bed. But at 1:21 a.m., Trump was still active online doing the devil’s work, sharing a graphic that read:

“Over 273 Americans have been shot since the war in IRAN began … in Chicago.” The racist insomniac attempted to downplay the fatalities from his illegal, immoral, unjustified war in Iran by comparing the war’s death toll to that of the crime rate in a city led by a black Democratic mayor.

The death of one American soldier is too many, in a war of choice that only served the interests of the genocidal state of Israel.

The conflict has also caused thousands of deaths across the Middle East, including 120 schoolgirls targeted by an American Tomahawk missile. We are all God’s children, and the deaths of civilians in Lebanon and Iran are as tragic as the death of any American.

We long for the day when Sleepy Don finally goes to sleep and does not wake up, so we never again have to read his despicable posts.

An Exhausted Nation Prays Trump Will Suffer Fatal Heat Stroke July 4th

July 2, 2026robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump, the morbidly obese octogenarian with cardiovascular issues, made the following comments while speaking in Medora, North Dakota, during the inaugural events of The Theodore Roosevelt Presidential Library on July 1, 2026:

“And this week we look back on 250 years of glorious freedom and we took so much time and so much effort. And by the way on July 4th it’s going to be approximately 107 degrees out and I’m going to go and I’m going to make a really long speech just to show that I can do anything. It’s going to be 107.”

Theodore Roosevelt was famously sickly as a child, but he transformed himself into one of the most vigorous and passionate outdoorsmen in American presidential history. Trump, driven by ego, appeared to be trying to persuade his supporters that he is as healthy as Roosevelt was in his prime.

Considering that Trump is going to be wearing a dark blue suit in 107° weather, with his red tie choking his vagina, it would not be surprising if he suffered a heat stroke. If the buffoon teetered on his cankles and dropped dead while preaching to the choir, it would be the most glorious July 4^th in the long history of our country.

It is illegal and immoral to threaten the life of the President, but there’s no law against praying or wishing that the steaming pile of shit, known as Donald J. Trump, dies of a heat stroke this July 4^th.

Robert Paul Reyes: Politics, Religion & More

progressive punditry

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