Evangelicals Believe Emergency Alert Will Trigger Zombie Apocalypse

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QAnon otherwise known as MAGA, or the white evangelical movement discovers a new conspiracy theory every time Trump farts or belches.  

White evangelicals are just as likely to cite a fringe web site as quote a Bible verse out of context to support their batshit crazy conspiracy theories.

The crazier the conspiracy theory the more they are convinced it’s true. We shouldn’t be surprised at the gullibility and stupidity of these wingnuts, after all they believe in the Rapture, a controversial theological belief that Jesus will snatch true believers and meet with them in the air, before He unleashes Armageddon.

FEMA and Federal Communications Commission are conducting tests of the Emergency Alert System and Wireless Emergency Alerts on Oct. 4 at 2:20pm ET. The message directed to all consumer cell phones will consist of a simple message:

 “THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed.”

Normal citizens will at the most be annoyed by the emergency alert, after all we are bombarded with dozens of alerts every year, be they Amber Alerts, tornado, flash flood or hurricane alerts.

MAGA nuts are convinced that the emergency alert will trigger the Zombie Apocalypse. This tweet by Gina Shirah is representative of the millions of posts warning us to take actions to protect ourselves, such as covering our phones with tin foil:

“Turn off your cell phones on October 4th. The EBS is going to test the system using 5G. This will activate the Marburg virus in people who have been vaccinated. This will sadly turn some of them into zombies.”

Millions of evangelicals wearing MAGA red hats aren’t going to meet the Lord in the air, and zombies aren’t going to wreak havoc on October the 4th. I’ve had seven COVID shots and on October 4th I plan on having my cell phone next to be ear at 2:20.

Republicans Consider Trump More of a ‘Person of Faith’ than Biden, Pence or Any Other Republican Candidate

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“Former Vice President Mike Pence is a born-again, evangelical Christian who roots his political ideology in his faith and frequently quotes the Bible on the campaign trail. President Joe Biden is, by all accounts, a devout Catholic and attends mass virtually every week.

But according to a recent poll, more Republicans view former President Donald Trump as a ‘person of faith’ than they do Biden, Pence or any other 2024 GOP presidential hopeful.”

Spectrum News

Allow me to preface my essay be unequivocally stating that being a “person of faith” doesn’t make a candidate a better person. I don’t care if a candidate is nominally religious, devoutly religious or a nonbeliever, that is not a criteria that I use in deciding who’s the best person for the office.

The evangelical Republican base places a high premium on a candidate’s allegiance to Jesus Christ and the Bible. Mike Pence wears his faith on his sleeve, every sentence he utters include a noun, a verb and an allusion to Jesus. How an evangelical can believe that the serial sexual predator, pathological liar and sociopath Donald Trump, who’s never claimed to be an evangelical, is more of a person of faith than Pence is beyond my understanding.

Joe Biden may not be an evangelical, but he’s a devout Catholic who attends mass every week, and always carries rosary beads with him. Surely, it should be apparent to even the most dim-witted MAGA true believer that Biden is more religious than Trump.

Trump embraces white evangelicals without embracing evangelical Christianity strictly out of expediency, he realizes they are the most loyal part of his base, and will stand by him come hell or high water.

Democratic Senator Bernie Sanders denies he’s an atheist, but he probably is one, he states that he “isn’t actively involved in organized religion.” The non-religious Sanders has more integrity in his pinkie finger than a sanctimonious politician like Mike Pence has in his whole body. I would vote for him over a devout Catholic like Biden, or an evangelical zealot like Mike Pence.

Evangelicals who make a mockery of their faith deserve an amoral buffoon like Donald Trump, may they rot in hell.

Internet Demands Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Removal from Congress After She Prays for End to Abortion

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“US Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, or as she is infamously known as MTG, recently asked her followers on X, formerly known as Twitter, to join her in praying for an end to abortion.

MTG represents Georgia’s 14th Congressional District, and after her tweet advocating the end of abortion, the Internet has called for her to be removed from Congress.”

MSN

A politician praying is an incongruous as a prostitute advocating for abstinence or an Islamist extremist appealing for ecumenical unity. When a politician prays it exposes their hypocrisy and cheapens their faith, they claim to believe in.

MTG is your quintessential evangelical hypocrite, her profane, venial and racist behavior is in stark contrast to the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.

Whenever MTG or any of her ilk pray, I think to myself: Oh, shut the fuck up, your toxic farts are more likely to reach heaven than your poisonous prayers.

In praying for an end to abortion, what MTG is really praying for is an end to women’s sovereignty over their own bodies.

When evangelicals were calling for an end to Roe, they argued that the issue should be left to the states, but after Roe was overturned by the Supreme Court they changed their tune, and they are now demanding for a federal ban on abortion.

In MTG’s state of Georgia, abortion is prohibited after the sixth week, but she won’t be happy until the whole country has to suffer under restrictive abortion laws.

The internet lambasted MTG’s abortion tweet, and I will join the choir and pray that she will be removed from Congress, or better yet, just drop dead.

Joe Biden Doesn’t Have the Cognitive Ability to Take Care of Commander, the White House Dog

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“US President Joe Biden’s dog Commander bit a Secret Service agent on Monday, the 11th such incident in a year, according to NBC News. The two-year-old purebred German Shepherd bit a female officer of the Uniformed Division and she was treated by the White House medical office.”

NDTV

I own a pit bull, a breed that is often lumped together with German Shepherds and Doberman Pinchers as dangerous, but dogs aren’t inherently violent or dangerous and if a canine bites a person, blame the owner not the animal.

I walk Princess every day around my neighborhood, and children call her out by name, and pet her. I pamper my pooch to death and that enhances her natural friendly disposition and she spreads good cheer throughout my neighborhood.

If my pet bit eleven persons within a year, I would have 11 lawsuits, a neighborhood up in arms and animal control would have confiscated her and put her to death.

There is one standard of the law for the rich and powerful and another for the poor and powerless. Almost nobody, Republican or Democrat is calling out Joe Biden for maintaining an unsafe working environment.

Assuming the cognitively impaired commander-in-chief is aware that he has a pet dog in the White House, he is a cruel tyrant for keeping an animal who has a penchant for biting Secret Service Agents, the very individuals who risk their lives to protect him and his family.

It’s time for Commander to be handed over to an individual or family with the time and inclination to teach him discipline and shower him with love. Biden doesn’t have the cognitive ability to take care of a goldfish, let alone a dog.

Save Our Democracy: Don’t Vote for Senile Politicians Like Joe Biden, Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell

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“The latest cover of The New Yorker magazine depicts some of America’s most powerful political leaders in a footrace, but not exactly in the top athletic form they’d probably be hoping for. President Joe Biden, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), and former President Donald Trump are all racing for the finish line — with the assistance of walkers.”

Mediaite

Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump represent a gerontocracy that is killing our democracy. These old crows still imagine they’re spring chickens and they don’t have the decency, common sense and humility to step aside for a younger generation.

President Joe Biden, 80, is prone to losing his balance, and he really needs a walker and a nurse to point him in the right direction. Biden is physical fragile, cognitively-challenged, and it’s an egregious case of elder abuse that his staff and family haven’t forced him to face reality and resign or at least promise not to run for reelection.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, 81, has a history of suffering freezing spells, and he could also use a walker to prevent him from falling again. McConnell has been in the Senate since 1985 and he has served as Senate Majority Leader since 2021, it’s time that he passed on the baton to a member of a younger generation. He should resign from the Senate or at least step down as Majority Leader.

Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is 83, and she recently announced she’s running for reelection. Pelosi has a remarkable career that culminated in her being elected as House Speaker, she doesn’t have anything left to prove and she should humbly and gracefully declare that she’s changed her mind and isn’t running for reelection.

Former President Donald Trump, 77 shouldn’t run for president because of his advanced age, and there’s also the issue that a fascist racist who tried to steal an election doesn’t deserve to return to power.

We think of Baby Boomers as being older than dirt, but it’s important to realize that the aforementioned fossils belong to an even older generation.

Members of this geriatric generation are mostly white and mostly male and for them white privilege means that they can stay in power for as long as they want even though old age has rendered them mentally feeble and physically frail.

These physically decrepit and cognately impaired politicians aren’t going to gracefully retire, it’s incumbent upon voters of both parties to vote them out of office.

Sen. Tim Scott Says He’s Dating a ‘Lovely Christian Girl’, Yeah, Right

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South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott is the quintessential Uncle Tom; he has the requisite ingratiating smile, the automatic deference to any white person in his vicinity and a subservient demeanor.

He is every prominent Republican’s best black friend; they can’t get enough of his coonery and buffoonery. Of course, he’s anathema to Democrats who don’t expect blacks who belong to their party to be emasculated.

I think it’s a safe bet to assume that Scott is not a fan of hip hop, I can see him tap dancing to old timey Negro spirituals. He probably has to constantly remind himself to refer to African Americans as people of color and not colored people.

Scott proved his Uncle Tom bona fides during the Trump administration by standing by him during photo ops, and looking at his master with pride and reverence.

Scott is the GOP’s perfect black candidate, so why is he stuck in single digits in the polls? I think it’s because Republicans assume that the 57-year-old bachelor is as gay as all get-out. They may vote for a black man who knows his place, but not for a candidate who is black and gay.

Scott said last weekend that he is “dating a lovely Christian girl,” as he addressed a large group of influential voters of faith in Iowa, where evangelicals dominate the GOP base.

Bitch, please! Why hasn’t this “lovely Christian girl” campaigned with him? Never mind “where’s Waldo?”, where the hell is this lovely Christian girl?

Scott needs to take pride in his black heritage, and stop shucking and jiving to please the white GOP electorate. He should sashay out of the closet and live his best gay life.

Thousands Who Identify as Dogs Meet in Germany! Bitch, Please!

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“An estimated 1,000 people who prefer to be recognized as not humans, but canines, organized a gathering at the Berlin Potsamer Platz railroad station in Germany, communicating only by howling or barking at one another.”

The New York Post

Folks may have a bone to pick for pointing out that this story illustrates that the world has gone to the dogs, but in my defense this story is custom-made for bad puns.

People have a right to identify as dogs, cats, monkeys or goldfish, but don’t expect me to pander to their delusions by greeting them with a “who’s a good boy?”

A pack of weirdos who think they are canines gathering at a railroad station and communicating by howling or barking at one another is patently absurd, but it’s also deeply offensive. Call me a misanthrope but I believe that pooches are superior to human beings, doggies could teach us a thing or two about loyalty, bravery and possessing a good-natured spirit.

Evangelicals the likes of Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Franklin Graham and Lauen Boebert think they will go to heaven because they’ve accepted Jesus as their Savior. But if these sanctimonious assholes really end up in heaven, and if there are no puppies in paradise, I’d rather spend eternity in hell with Satan and the hounds of hell. Heaven without dogs is hell. Period. End of story.

These cretins are guilty of disturbing the peace, somebody should call animal control and have them muzzled, and for good measure spayed and neutered.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Demands Etiquette & Respect in Congress! Bitch, Please!

“The Senate no longer enforcing a dress code for Senators to appease Fetterman is disgraceful.

Dress code is one of society’s standards that set etiquette and respect for our institutions.

Stop lowering the bar!”

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene

Considering that Sen. John Fetterman looks like Uncle Fester after an electroshock treatment, it would behoove him to dress conservatively to offset his terrifying physical appearance.

But the senator wears his signature dark hoody and ratty gym shorts even in the hallowed halls of the Senate.

Majority Leader Chuck Schumer discretely ordered the chamber’s Seargeant at Arms to no longer enforce the Senate’s dress code, apparently to accommodate Fetterman.

I would understand if some of the senior statesmen in Congress objected to Schumer relaxing the dress code, but the last congressperson I would have expected to object is Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene. The firebrand representative from Georgia complaining about lack of etiquette and respect for institutions is like Rep. George Santos complaining about lack of honesty and integrity in Congress. Let’s not forget that this is the same congresswoman who displayed a huge poster of Hunter Biden’s penis in a house hearing. Respect for institutions? Where was her respect for Congress when she yelled at President Joe Biden during his State of the Union address? If she had respect for the sanctity of the Senate, she would not be lionizing the January 6 insurrectionists who ransacked Congress.

The insult-hurling, publicity whore and drama queen can shut the hell up. If Fetterman’s lack of cognitive ability led him to mistake a flower vase in the Senate for a urinal and he relieved himself, it wouldn’t compare to the damage that Greene has done to Congress with her unhinged and unethical behavior.

Mike Pence: ‘I’m Running to Win’

“Romney, who announced earlier in the day that he would not be seeking reelection in the Beehive State, told The Washington Post in an interview ahead of his announcement that ‘I don’t think [Pence] has … any delusions that he’s going to become the nominee.’

‘I think he’s running for other reasons. One, to repair his legacy. … What he’s saying is important to be said. … I’m glad he’s running and saying those things. I respect that,’ Romney added.”

The Hill

Donald Trump’s doll hands have an iron grip on the Republican presidential nomination, according to the latest Quinnipiac poll he has 62 percent support, followed by Ron DeSantis at 12 percent and everybody else, including Mike Pence, is in single digits.

Trump is the King and the Republican nomination process is a coronation, as evidenced by the fact that all of the contenders, with the exception of Asa Hutchinson, Chris Christie and Will Hurd are acting like his publicity agents instead of adversaries.

Most of the GOP presidential candidates realize they don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, they’re just hoping that Trump will appoint them to an important role in his court, perhaps as Royal Jester or Chief Fluffer.

Pence is somewhere in the middle, he isn’t a Trump fluffer, but the only time he condemns Trump is when he criticizes him for ordering him to overturn the election results on January 6, 2021.

When Pence was asked about Romney’s comments he replied:

“I’m running for president of the United States because I think this country’s in a lot of trouble, and I’m running to win.”

I concur with Romney, Pence knows the he isn’t going to win, Trump’s MAGA base would rather hang him than vote for him.

If Pence is running to repair his legacy, then it’s incumbent upon him to go full Chris Christie and rip apart Trump’s corrupt behavior while in office and his despicable behavior in trying to overturn the election.

We All Want Jimmy Carter to Live Forever and Joe Biden to Hurry Up and Die

In February former president Jimmy Carter, who’s been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma that has spread to the brain, announced that he would forgo medical intervention and spend the remainder of his life in hospice care in his modest home in Plains, Georgia.

Carter was a mediocre president, but he’s enjoyed a highly successful post-presidency engaging in global humanitarian work since founding The Carter Center in 1982.  The iconic photographs of Carter building houses for Habitat for Humanity best represent his life’s work as a former president.

Carter’s announcement elicited gushing tributes from politicians and pundits that could have served as obituaries. It’s now September and Carter remains in good spirits as he welcomes family and well-wishers to his humble abode. We all thought we would lose our beloved Jimmy in February, but we are thrilled that he is still with us.

In April 2023 President Joe Biden, 80, announced that he is running for reelection in 2024, and his announcement was met with frustration by Democrats who don’t think he has the stamina, physical strength or mental dexterity to finish his term, let alone serve another one.

Biden’s reelection announcement prompted alarmed Democrats to realize that his cognitive decline is on a death spiral, and a shot of Geritol isn’t going to revive him long enough to deliver a coherent stump speech.

The evidence of Biden’s terminal decline is manifest, his disastrous Hanoi press conference proved all his doubters right.

We all hope that the Grim Reaper stays away from Carter for as long as possible, but we are praying that he will drag Biden to hell as quickly as possible.

Biden’s Embarrassing Hanoi Press Conference Makes Americans Wish He Would Just Die

For the last two years Americans have witnessed the shocking decline in President Joe Biden’s mental acuity and physical dexterity. Sadly, we are familiar with the octogenarian commander-in-chief tripping on stairs, losing his train of thought, shaking hands with invisible people, falling off a bike, struggling to find an exit of a stage and speeches alternating between creepy whispering and angry yelling.

Americans have seen enough, and the overwhelming majority don’t want Biden to embarrass himself and America by running for reelection. I’m a progressive, but in the general election I will vote for the Republican candidate, if it’s not Donald Trump.

In America we are aware that Biden has the mental acuity of a wilted head of lettuce, and after his press conference from hell in Hanoi now the international community also knows that he is a senile and cranky old man.

Biden wrapped up his first trip to Asia as president with a press conference in Vietnam that was marred by rambling answers, awkward jokes, a McConnell like freeze, and a plea for a nap to end the nightmare.

Biden’s press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, attempted to end the debacle by loudly exclaiming:

“Thank you, everybody. This ends the press conference. Thanks, everyone.

But Biden continued mumbling incoherently, unaware that his microphone had been muted.

Biden is too senile and too full of pride and white privilege to exit the stage gracefully. Biden’s expiration date was a decade ago, how I wish the Grim Reaper would drag him to hell.

Trump’s Mugshot Will Motivate Voters to Vote for Biden

“Former President Donald Trump falsely claimed Wednesday that polls show his support among Black Americans has quadrupled or quintupled since his mug shot was released.”

CNN

This is just another lie from the pathological liar; the truth is that in polls taken after his mugshot was released his support in the black population has risen by only two or three percentage points.

Trump is under the delusion that since his booking photo was taken that blacks who are systematically and unfairly targeted by the criminal justice system will identify with him.

Yeah, right!

Trump monetized his mugshot to the tune of over 10 million dollars, but the average black ex-convict won’t be able to buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks with $2 and a copy of his mugshot.

Trump has posted his mugshot on Twitter, his own Truth Social media platform and just about every other popular social media platform because it will redound to his political benefit. But the last thing African Americans want to do is publicize their mugshot, it would only serve to kill any chances they have of finding a decent job.

I don’t understand why blacks or any other minorities would support a blatant racist who has discriminated against us when he was a real estate developer and when he was president.

As a Latino when I see Trump’s mugshot I don’t think “he’s just like one of us, another victim of the criminal justice system.” What I say to myself is: the criminal justice system is a joke! Only after decades of committing tax and real estate fraud, sexually assaulting women, and inciting an insurrection and trying to steal an election was he finally subjected to a mugshot.

Dream on Trump, your mugshot will only remind us of your criminality and motivate us to vote for Biden.

Biden Wears a Mask Again for the First Time in Months

On May 11, 2023 President Joe Biden officially rescinded the executive order that declared COVID-19 a public health emergency. COVID is no longer a pandemic, it’s endemic like the common cold and influenza.

Mandatory masking, lockdowns, emergency field hospitals, respirators and the daily updates of deaths is in our rear-view mirror.

Like the flu and the common cold there will be seasonal surges of COVID, but that is no cause for panic. The prevailing variant is no more lethal than the flu, and there shouldn’t be any talk of mandatory masking, school closures or lockdowns.

Biden turned up in a mask for the first time in months inside the White House, a day after his wife tested positive for COVID-19. But he quickly ditched it during a ceremony honoring an 81-year-old Vietnam veteran, and the two unmasked octogenarians shared a hearty handshake.

The fact that Biden was maskless when he reached around the vet’s body to place the medal around his neck, is proof that he donned the mask just for show.

There was no need for Biden to wear a mask while walking around the White House. Although I would recommend that the serial sniffer wear a mask at all times, maybe that will discourage him from sniffing the hair of any woman cursed to be in his close proximity.

Biden should wear a white mask, he looks like a walking skeleton, and the black mask enhances his ghoulish appearance.

We don’t need any reminders of the hellish pandemic, Biden should shove his mask up his ass, at least that will help the incontinent octogenarian from staining his pants.

Trump Hasn’t Lost Any Evangelical Support

In 2016 Donald Trump garnered over 80 percent of the evangelical vote. Even though Trump’s tenure was riddled with chaos, corruption, confusion and criminality, he didn’t lose any evangelical support in 2020.

When I use the word evangelical, I am referring to white evangelicals. Most African Americans belong to Baptist, methodist and Pentecostal denominations and they hold conservative views when it comes to social issues like homosexuality and women’s rights. Like white evangelicals they believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God, and they believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, but they tend to vote Democratic, and they steer clear of Qanon conspiracy theories.

Even though Trump has been impeached twice and indicted four times, if he wins the Republican primary he will still receive over 80 percent of the evangelical vote in the general election. After he was arrested in Georgia for trying to overturn the results of a free and fair election, he became inmate number p01135809. But even if by some coincidence he became inmate number 666666, he would still be worshipped as the Messiah by evangelicals.

Evangelicals aren’t content with the promise of becoming members of the Kingdom of Heaven after they die, they want an earthly kingdom in the form of a White Nationalist regime right now, and they are convinced that the ruthless and vengeful Trump is the one who will establish this Christian theocracy.

The evangelicals’ Orange Messiah is credited with overturning Roe v. Wade in 2022 due to his appointing of three conservative Supreme Court justices who decided the landmark Dobbs case, which sent the issue of abortion back to the states. Evangelicals see this as proof that Trump gets things done by any means necessary, and they put their faith in him to deliver on their greatest dream: Establishing a White Christian Nationalist regime.

Poll: Trump Supporters Trust Him More Than Religious Leaders, Conservative Pundits and Friends and Families

According to the CBS/YouGov poll results evangelical primary voters who plan to vote for former President Donald Trump in 2024 find him to the most trustworthy, ahead of conservative pundits, religious leaders and even their own families and friends. Seven in ten respondents said they feel that what Trump tells them is true, but only four in ten religious leaders merit the same trust.

The results of this poll should surprise nobody, if Trump told his supporters to jump, they would instantly jump regardless if they were at the edge of a cliff, at the crater of a volcano, or at the shore of the lake of fire.

Of course, Trump cultists trust their orange messiah more than conservative media figures, religious leaders and even their own families and friends, they accept every obscenity, lie and absurdity that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth as the Gospel truth.

It doesn’t matter that Trump is a pathological liar who told over 30,000 documented lies during his chaotic and turbulent administration. White evangelicals believe that everything that Trump says is true, even if it contradicts the laws of physics and common sense, simply by virtue of the fact that it was uttered by their Savior. Their mantra is: if Trump says it, I believe it, and you can shove your facts up your ass.

Roman Catholics believe that whenever the Pope speaks on matters of faith and morals, he is infallible, but when he speaks on politics, current affairs or any other temporal subject he is susceptible to making mistakes.

White Evangelicals believe that whenever Trump speaks on any subject, whether it’s about religion, politics, sports or entertainment, he is infallible.

It’s foolish to argue with Trump sycophants, they shit on your truth, facts and empirical evidence and lavish praise on every piece of crap that their Dear Leader drops.

It makes no sense to appeal to their friends and family members to intervene and try to make Trump cultists see the truth that Trump is a steaming pile of dung.

It’s a mission impossible to hope that religious leaders will succeed in convincing Trump supporters that he is a false prophet. Trump voters are beyond salvation, they will follow their messiah in his crusade against the rule of law, and democracy itself.

Trump Posts Fake Mugshot of Biden

“Donald Trump’s attempts to make political hay out of his myriad legal woes continued on Monday when he shared a fake mug shot of President Joe Biden on his Truth Social platform.

The former president ‘ReTruthed’ a doctored image of Biden, next to the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office badge, with the caption: ‘The Mugshot America Deserves.’”

Yahoo News

All his adult life as a businessman and as a politician Donald Trump has considered himself above the law as he brazenly stiffed contractors, committed real estate fraud, sexually assaulted women, culminating in his greatest crime: inciting an insurrection in a desperate attempt to remain in power despite losing in a landslide to Joe Biden.

After being indicted four times and facing 91 charges Trump was finally treated like the common criminal that he is when his mugshot was taken by Pat Labat, the Sheriff of Fulton County.

This should have been a “come to Jesus moment” for the twice-impeached, quadruple indicted, serial sexual predator. The humiliation of the former President being treated like a common criminal should have made him realize that he’s not above the law, and that he might finally be punished for a lifetime of criminal behavior.

Instead of showing contrition, Trump has monetized his mug shot to the tune of seven million bucks. Now in an attempt to distract the electorate from his crimes he posted a fake mugshot of Joe Biden on his Truth Social platform.

It’s not going to work, the fake Biden may be seen by a few thousands, but the real Trump mugshot has been seen by billions and it’s permanently seared in our minds.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-trolls-joe-biden-092108907.html

Trump-Shaped Cloud Appears in Orlando Shortly After Trump Mugshot Was Taken

“Donald Trump was floating sky-high over the great state of Florida … Donald Trump-Shaped Cloud Emerges in Orlando Shortly After Mug Shot.”

TMZ

In 2014 reality star Kim Kardashian broke the internet with a photo depicting her proudly displaying her very oiled-up butt.

In 2023 reality star and disgraced former President Donald Trump broke the internet with his mugshot. Never missing an opportunity to grift his supporters, the grifter-in-chief has monetized his mugshot to the tune of over seven million dollars.

Like a malicious computer virus, the Trump mugshot has infected social media platforms and online news sites to the point where you can’t log on to your laptop or open your phone without being exposed to the hideous mugshot.

Before Trump’s ugly visage became viral, a Donald Trump-shaped cloud emerged in Orlando minutes after his mugshot was taken.

The giant cloud looks uncannily like Trump’s ugly mug: the protruding nose, the puckered sphincter-shaped lips, the infamous coiffed hair. This cloud that most likely emanated from the pit of hell is more ominous than a tornado headed straight for your house.

The Trump-shaped cloud momentarily blocked the sun, it’s obviously a manifestation of unbridled evil and a portent of the apocalypse. But Trump cultists will interpret it as a sign that they should buy T-shirts and coffee cups imprinted with the mugshot of their Dear Leader.

The Trump cloud quickly dissipated, if only the real Trump quickly disappeared from the national spotlight.

Vivek Ramaswamy Was the Most Eager Trump Fluffer on the Debate Stage

According to the Drudge Report’s unscientific internet poll (there is no limit to how many times a person can vote), tech entrepreneur and novice politician Vivek Ramaswamy was the winner of the Republican presidential debate Wednesday night with 34% of the vote.

According to Donald Trump’s unbiased opinion Ramaswamy was the runaway winner of the inaugural debate of the 2024 presidential campaign. It wasn’t Ramaswamy’s foreign policy expertise or his solid policy positions that convinced Trump that he was the winner. After all the foolish and inexperienced presidential candidate declared that climate change is a hoax, argued that we should end the Ukraine war by making concessions to Putin, and is in favor of abolishing just about every federal department.

Ramaswamy won Trump’s heart by being the most eager Trump fluffer on the stage. Ramaswamy actually declared that the twice-impeached, quadruple indicted, pathological liar and serial sexual predator “was the best president of the 21st century.” He was the first candidate to raise their hand when the debate moderator asked who would support the former president as the party nominee if he is convicted on any of the felony charges he’s facing.

Ramaswamy sold his soul to the devil for nothing, the racist Republican base will never vote for an Indian American Hindu to be their presidential nominee and Trump will never select him as his running mate.

Trump will win the Republican presidential nomination in a landslide, and he will try to balance the ticket by choosing an experienced politician, probably a woman.

Will Trump Cultists Hold a Circle Jerk Over His Mug Shot?

“Former President Donald Trump is expected to surrender on charges connected to 2020 election interference at a notorious Georgia jail on Thursday — and a local sheriff has promised that the ex-commander-in-chief will be treated just like everyone else accused of a crime in the state.”

Business Insider

Twice-impeached former President Donald J. Trump has been indicted four times, but in deference to his status as a former president, he hasn’t been forced to do a perp walk or undergo the humiliation of having a mug shot taken.

But there’s a new Sheriff in town, and Fulton County Sheriff Patrick Labat has vowed to treat Trump like any other indicted defendant. Although special accommodations may be made for Trump when he turns himself in, he will be weighed, fingerprinted and a mug shot will be taken.

The last time Trump had a physical exam when he was president there was widespread skepticism when his personal physician listed his weight at 239 pounds. In the county jail a Trump lackey won’t be tipping the scales in his favor and I’m betting he will weigh close to 300 pounds.

The process of taking Trump’s fingerprints is going to be incredibly embarrassing because jail officials will have a devil of a time fingerprinting his grotesquely tiny fingers.

Then there will be the demeaning and humiliating experience of having his mug shot taken like a common criminal. Trump’s MAGA cultists may hang his mug shot in a place of honor in their living room, but normal people will think twice about voting for a presidential candidate who has a mug shot.

The intake area of the notorious Fulton County Jail is huge, and detainees are typically processed in front of others who are also being processed. If there’s a God in heaven Trump will be fingerprinted, weighed and have his mug shot taken in front of other criminals.

Evangelicals Worship Trump as the Jesus of the Book of Revelation

You’d think that evangelicals would revile the twice-impeached, quadruple-indicted, serial sexual predator and amoral sociopath Donald Trump as the antichrist.

Instead, these white evangelical cultists worship Trump as the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. But it’s not the kind and gentle Jesus of the Gospels who took on human form to save the world that they worship, they see Trump as the Jesus of Revelation, who returns to Earth with a sword in his mouth to judge the righteous, and wage war against the wicked. The Jesus of Revelation makes the holy and vengeful Jehovah of the Old Testament look like a kind and loving Creator.

The orange deity of the evangelicals is on a crusade to save children from an imaginary satanic child sex ring operated by Democrats. The Messiah of the MAGA cult is on a mission from God to take back America from immigrants, godless liberals, uppity women and gays and lesbians and return America to the glory days of the 1940’s when colored people and women knew their place, the Christian religion reigned supreme, and gays, lesbians and trans people didn’t dare come out of the closet.

Evangelicals need to wake the fuck up and realize they have been suckered by a con man who has been preying on them since he was first elected in 2016.

Trump doesn’t have a spiritual bone in his body, if he’s read the Bible, it’s only to wank off over some of the more lascivious passages in the Old Testament. He caters to evangelicals not because he shares their theological views, but because they are an indispensable part of his coalition of the crazy.

The Jesus of the Gospels may weep over the sad spiritual condition of Trump and his evangelical supporters, but I hope the Jesus of Revelation smites them and hurls them into hell.

Jenna Ellis: God’s Not Going to Help You When a Lesbian Jail Bird Forces You to Be Her Wife

Jenna Ellis has a solid pedigree as an evangelical leader, she was as an attorney for many evangelical organizations, including James Dobson’s “Focus on the Family.”

Ellis was a vehement critic of Donald Trump before he became the 2016 Republican nominee for president, at which point Ellis was led by the Spirit to jump on the Trump bandwagon. She joined the Trump administration as a senior legal advisor. In the months after the January 6 insurrection, she turned against Trump once again.

Ellis was indicted in Georgia Aug. 14 and charged with criminally conspiring with Donald Trump to overturn his 2020 election loss.

This is not her first interaction with the criminal justice system, on February 10 this year, she signed an agreement that declared a public censure of her as an attorney who has violated ethics standards and is guilty of dishonesty. She nearly lost her license to practice law.

After she was indicted by Fani T. Willis, the Fulton County district attorney, Ellis tweeted:

“I am resolved to trust the Lord and I will simply continue to honor, praise and serve him. I deeply appreciate all of my friends who have reached out offering encouragement and support.”

Jesus is the first refuge of an evangelical scoundrel, when they are justly condemned for their illegal actions, they cling to Jesus and claim they are being persecuted and prosecuted for their faith.

Bitch please, if you truly trusted the Lord, you would never have joined the Trump administration and staunchly defended all of his anti-Christian actions.

Don’t expect the Lord to hear your cries when you are in prison and one of the more masculine lesbians forces you to be her wife.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Does a Poor Job as Donald Trump’s Fluffer

“Why would President Trump have to debate the other candidates?

He already has a PROVEN track record of the best 4 years in America!!

The American people don’t need to hear his ideas, we’ve already lived his policies, loved them, and want more!! The primary is over”

 Marjorie Taylor Greene

Marjorie Taylor Greene is one of the new brand of MAGA Republican representatives who aren’t interested in legislating or governing, they are interested only in fluffing Donald Trump and going viral by stoking cultural wars on social media.

Greene has always been contentedly ensconced inside Trump’s rectum, but she is sticking her head out more frequently to run her trap. It’s not that she needs fresh air, for she thrives in the toxic atmosphere, it’s just that she’s brazenly auditioning to be his running mate.

Greene is correct that Trump doesn’t need to debate the other candidates, he is so far ahead that the other contenders are nipping at his heels or kissing his fat ass in hopes that he will include them in his Cabinet.

But the declaration that he has a proven track record of the best four years in America is a ridiculous and absurd lie. Trump’s tenure was marked by corruption, incompetence, chaos and endless drama.

Trump has a proven track record of abject failure. “Infrastructure Week” was a punchline during his administration, it was his successor Joe Biden who passed the landmark bipartisan infrastructure law. He promised to build a beautiful border wall that stretched 1000 miles along the U.S.-Mexico border, only a few hundred miles of wall was erected during his administration. And Mexico didn’t pay a dime towards the building of the wall. He vowed constantly to repeal and replace Obamacare; I’m still waiting for his health plan.

The only thing that Trump proved during his administration is that he unqualified to ever again set foot in the White House.

Joe Biden is Too Old and Too Pervy to be President

“Former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown says he once threatened to ‘kick the s**t’ out of Joe Biden for getting ‘handsy’ with his TV star wife Gail Huff.

Brown, 63, said he had given Biden, 80, a clear warning during his swearing-in ceremony in 2010 with the then Vice President – and recounted the alleged incident on Tom Shattuck’s Burn Barrel podcast.

‘I told him I’d kick the s*** out (of him). I told him to stop, so yes,’ he said on Wednesday.”

Daily Mail

Former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown is a left-of-center Republican and not a rabid Trump supporter who will say anything to derail Joe Biden’s reelection campaign.

For that matter I’m a progressive who thinks Biden is too moderate and the last thing I desire is to criticize Biden in the hopes that it will redound to Trump’s benefit.

The Qanon conspiracy theory that a cabal of pedophile Democratic and Hollywood stars secretly rule the world is absolute bullshit, but that doesn’t mean Biden isn’t kind of pervy, to say the least.

I prize truth above political ideology, and the truth is that it’s well documented that Biden has a penchant for getting to handsy with women, and a seemingly irrepressible urge to fondle and grope pre-teen girls.

When Biden was vice president under President Obama, he was in charge of swearing-in the new members of Congress. Families, including young children, attended the swearing-in ceremony, and Biden took advantage of the situation to grope little girls and to sniff the hair of the wives.

Most of the politicians let Biden get away with his creepy behavior, but thank God Brown warned Biden to keep his hands to himself or he would kick the shit out of him.

Fuck sociopath, racist and fascist Donald Trump, and even though Biden isn’t a sociopath, a racist or an authoritarian, fuck him too, he’s too old and too pervy to be president of the United States.

Come on America, we can do better, much better!

I Hope Trump & His Evangelical Followers Rot in Hell

Donald Trump is the embodiment and personification of evil. He’s not demon possessed and he’s not the antichrist; we don’t need supernatural evil entities to explain the evil that lies in his cold shriveled heart.

Trump is simply an evil fuck, a sociopath and a narcissist whose ideology and platform is his brand; anything that burnishes his brand is good and anything that detracts from his brand is bad.

The only deity that Trump worships is himself, and if the former real estate developer erected a cathedral where his cult devotees could worship him, he would call it the Trump Temple.

He is a poor man’s fascist, a pathological liar, a serial sexual predator, and a messiah for the evangelical cult.

It’s interesting that evangelicals who do believe that Satan and his army of demons seek to corrupt and possess everybody, but especially the wealthy and powerful don’t condemn the twice-impeached, thrice-indicted rapist as a child of the devil.

Instead, they venerate him as their messiah who will lead them to the promised land, where righteous white Christians will feast on milk, honey and red meat and the heathen will subsist on bread crumbs.

I may not believe that demonic activity accounts for the evil spirit of Trump and his followers, but I certainly believe that they would be right at home in hell with the devil and his demons.

There is No Room for Young Evangelicals in the MAGA Evangelical Faith of Their Parents

The evangelical faith of white Gen Xers and Baby Boomers is anathema to younger evangelicals. It’s usually young people who gravitate to cults but the MAGA cult attracts angry and vengeful older evangelicals who feel out of place in the religiously and culturally diverse America of the 21st century.

Instead of having Bible studies where they seek a closer walk with God, MAGA evangelicals attend meetings that are more political than religious in nature, where they discuss the latest conspiracy theories or the current culture-war hot topics.

Some older white evangelicals have even embraced the Great Replacement Theory which argues that there is an active and covert effort to replace white populations in white-majority countries with black and brown races. Therefore, they are vehemently opposed to immigration from Latin America and Muslim countries. They don’t want to see Christian White American defiled and corrupted by Catholic immigrants from Mexico or Muslim immigrants from places like Pakistan, India or Iran.

These MAGA evangelicals see in Trump a Messiah who will turn back the decades and make America Great Again, the halcyon era of the 1950’s when America was an overwhelmingly white and Christian patriarchy. These religious fanatics are determined to destroy our democracy and replace it with a Christian theocracy.

Young evangelicals are wondering how they can fit in an evangelical movement that is dominated by these MAGA cultists. The answer is that there is no room for evangelicals of any age who are interested in being like Jesus and ministering to the poor and disenfranchised.

I urge young evangelicals to reject the corrupted faith of their parents and grandparents and start their own churches.