Tommy Tuberville: ‘God Sent Us Donald Trump Because He Knew We Were in Trouble

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The Alabama Republican primary race features a cast of characters that could only thrive in a Bible Belt state:

Former Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore whose love for the Bible is only exceeded by his lust for underage girls.

Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions who campaigns on his loyalty to the president who emasculated and humiliated him on an almost daily basis when he served in his administration.

Former Auburn University football coach Tommy Tuberville who is running an ad in which he says, “God sent us Donald Trump because God knew we were in trouble.”

Only someone who identifies as a “Christian conservative Republican” could make such a patently ridiculous and theologically suspect proclamation.

America is in trouble, in no small part because the President is an amoral, vulgar, autocratic buffoon who cares only about using his office to enrich himself and his family and to burnish his brand.

If the Almighty’s solution for the sorry state of our union is Donald Trump, I would consider becoming an atheist or listening to what the devil has to say.

Fear not, there is no reason to give up faith in God, only heretical white evangelicals think Trump was anointed by the Supreme Being to make America Great Again. The real God has a special place reserved in hell for the likes of Donald Trump.

White Evangelicals Pray Trump’s Assassination of Soleimani Will Usher in Armageddon

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President Donald Trump’s assassination/murder of Iranian general Gen. Qasem Soleimani, the commander of Iran’s elite Quds Force, wasn’t a part of a coherent foreign policy, it wasn’t the first stage of a master plan to destabilize Iran and strengthen Israel, Saudi Arabia and our other Arab allies in the Middle East.

What was the impetus for the stable genius’ self-created crisis in Iran? Perhaps Trump was constipated on that day or maybe it was payback for Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei’s Twitter taunt that Trump couldn’t do anything about the storming of the American embassy in Iraq.

Trump’s impulsive, illegal and ill-conceived action hasn’t yielding any positive results, it’s only served to strengthen Iran’s resolve to sow terror and sectarian discord throughout the Muslim world. And the inevitable bloody revenge of Iran’s terrorist proxies will make Iran’s measured response look like a diplomatic nicety.

Trump’s assassination of the Iranian military and political leader was universally condemned by the world community and by most Americans, but it was applauded by white evangelicals.

The evangelical community has a religious orgasm wherever violence breaks out in the Middle East, they believe that Trump’s short-sighted assassination of the Iranian general will usher in the return of Jesus Christ. Evangelicals believe that Armageddon will take place when Russia, Iran and other Muslim countries join forces to battle Israel, and they become ecstatic whenever any event in the Middle East seems to expedite this prophesied final battle.

I’m not a religious fanatic with an apocalyptic bent or a geopolitical genius, but I agree with white evangelicals that Trump might just usher in the end of the world. His foolhardy murder of Soleimani has blown up any chance for peace anytime in the near future, and it has lit a fuse in the most volatile region in the world.

Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, Trump will tweet while the world explodes, and white evangelicals will erupt in cheers and praises to God.

Donald Trump is a Liar

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Donald Trump has as much of an intimate relationship with the truth as I have with Halle Berry. I admire her intelligence, wit, and grace from afar, and to be frank I lust after his physical beauty, but I will probably never be in the same zip code as her, let alone close enough to steal a kiss. Only in my fantasies will I consummate a relationship with the Hollywood sexpot, and only in an alternative universe will Trump be known as a truthteller.

We all tell white lies to avoid hurting the feelings of acquaintances and friends, and sometimes we tell whoppers to avoid the unpleasant truth, but deceit is the very essence of Trump. He lies in the same way that a serial killer murders and in the same manner a prostitute engages in promiscuous sex with any man or woman with a heartbeat and a wallet.

Please forgive me for channeling Trump in describing his relationship to the truth, he wouldn’t know the truth if it rammed him up the wazoo.

We’re all familiar with the statistics, the Stable Genius has told over 15,000 lies since assuming office. Even the short-fingered vulgarian’s most ardent supporters will stipulate that he’s no Honest Abe.

The most obvious consequence of Trump’s compulsive lying is that we take everything he says with a grain of salt, and we have no faith or confidence that he will even attempt to keep his promises.

Another effect of Trump’s mendacious nature is that in order to remain in his good graces, administration officials are forced to obfuscate and prevaricate to cover up for their boss. An honest person in the White House is as scarce as a virgin in a whore house.

Trump not only folds, spindles and mutilates the truth, he has changed the definition of the word. Trump is always ranting against the “fake news”, but we must always keep in mind that he isn’t referring to newspapers and cable news outlets that spread fabrications and lies, but to media organizations that tell the unpleasant truth about the corruption in his administration.

How do we confront a pathological liar when he has the biggest soapbox in the world? It’s easy to grow weary in well doing, but we must expose Trump every time he lies. A news anchor with millions of viewers or a blogger with a few hundred Twitter followers must call out Trump every single time he misrepresents the truth.

A million lies can’t defeat the truth, and an evil man can remain in power for a season by butchering the truth, but in the end the truth always wins out.

Trump’s Deplorable Martin Luther King Jr. Day Tweet

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It was exactly three years ago today, January 20, 2017, that I was sworn into office. So appropriate that today is also MLK jr DAY. African-American Unemployment is the LOWEST in the history of our Country, by far. Also, best Poverty, Youth, and Employment numbers, ever. Great!

Donald Trump tweet

From the day he descended the Trump Towers escalator to deliver an anti-immigrant and anti-Mexican diatribe to announce his candidacy for the 2016 election, to his divisive and racist comments in the aftermath of the Charlottesville riots, to his remarks today commemorating Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Trump has rarely missed a day to utter a blatantly racist comment.  

In fact, for his entire adult life Trump’s words and actions expose him as a racist, witness the Justice Department suing him in the 70’s for housing discrimination, his call for the innocent Central Park Five to get the death penalty and his Twitter feuds with almost every black celebrity.

Given Trump’s racist streak I am not surprised that his racism surfaced once again on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. First of all, it’s an outrage for the most racist president in recent history to compare himself to a civil rights icon, and it’s an affront to decency, history and righteousness that he tweeted his accomplishments instead of celebrating the life of Martin Luther King Jr.

I have studied the history of civil rights and the career of Martin Luther King Jr, and Trump is no King. He is nothing but an ignorant, vulgar, know-nothing buffoon racist.

Trump Slams Plan for Sea Wall to Protect New York City

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A massive 200 Billion Dollar Sea Wall, built around New York to protect it from rare storms, is a costly, foolish & environmentally unfriendly idea that, when needed, probably won’t work anyway. It will also look terrible. Sorry, you’ll just have to get your mops & buckets ready.

Donald Trump tweet

There’s always a Trump tweet that will contradict his current stand on any subject. Wha”t better way to ridicule and criticize his proposal to build a wall from sea to sea on our border with Mexico than to recite this tweet?

Trump tweeted about the proposal on Saturday night after The New York Times reported that a six-mile-long seawall was one of the options the Army Corps of Engineers is considering to protect the Big Apple from severe storms that have buffeted the area since in recent years.

Superstorm Sandy proved that the threat against New York City from severe storms is very real, and being a seawall to protect the city isn’t a bad idea. Whereas there is no real threat of America being invaded by a horde of rapists and criminals from Mexico and Central American countries, and building a wall won’t stop honest and hardworking folks seeking a better life in America.

Constructing a six-mile seawall is a piece of cake compared to erecting a 2,000-mile wall. I can envision the seawall being built in a few years, but I can guarantee that a 2,000-mile wall separating us from Mexico won’t be built in a hundred years.

As usual Trump stretches the truth in his tweet, the report estimated the cost of the seawall as $119 billion, not the $200 billion figure cited by Trump.

Trump’s wall is costly, foolish, environmentally unfriendly and it probably won’t work anyway. Sorry Trump, you’ll just have to go back to the drawing board.

Outrage: National Archives Alters Images Critical of Impeached President Trump

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Trumpism is a metastatic cancer that hasn’t just destroyed the Executive branch, but Congress, the Judicial system and many other governmental agencies as well.

The only hope for our democracy is removing this malignant cancer by impeachment, voting the scumbag out of office in 2020 may be too late, and if Trump wins reelection historians might as well start writing America’s obituary.

Case in point the National Archives in Washington, D.C altered a photograph depicting the 2017 Women’s March on display in an elevator lobby at the museum. The Archives admitted blurring out the word “Trump” on a “God Hates Trump” poster and removing the president’s name from another poster that reads, “Trump & GOP—Hands Off Women” that are visible in the image. The Archives also removed the words “vagina” and “pussy” from signs that read, “If my vagina could shoot bullets, it’d be less REGULATED” and “This Pussy Grabs Back.”

The National Archives is charged with the preservation and documentation of government and historical records. It’s anathema for the Archives to photoshop, distort or alter in any way a government or historical record.

Twenty, fifty or a hundred years from now it’s imperative that Americans realize that not all Christians were infatuated with Trump, but that many Christians and non-Christians alike were convinced that God hates Trump.

History shouldn’t be subject to the rules of pollical-correctness, how dare mindless bureaucrats remove the words “pussy” and “vagina” from posters that illustrated how furious many women were at the misogynist president.

As a non-partisan, non-political federal agency, the National Archives shouldn’t be worried about the tender sensibilities of our thin-skinned president. The National Archives answers to history and the American public, not to an impeached president.

Space Force Mocked for Unveiling Camo Uniforms! Camo in Space? Really?

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“The US Space Force has defended its newly unveiled camouflage uniforms after they were roundly mocked on social media.

The force, officially launched by US President Donald Trump last month, posted a picture of the uniform to its Twitter account.

The uniform in the picture has a woodland camouflage design with badges embroidered on the arm and chest.”

BBC

Donald Trump isn’t a fashionista, witness his long red tie, wrinkled suit and orange ring-around-the-collar. God knows he’s not a rocket scientist judging by his incoherent and rambling speeches and the nonsense he posts on his Twitter account.

It should come as no surprise that our commander-in-chief, aka Cadet Bone Spurs, aka Space Cadet unveiled camouflage uniforms for the US Space Force.

I guess it really doesn’t matter if the space soldiers wore polka dot uniforms, because they aren’t going to be fighting any aliens in outer space, although Trump might put them to work keeping illegal aliens (racist term) from invading the homeland.

If extraterrestrial beings take a gander at the ridiculous uniforms of our space soldiers, they might decide that we’re easy pickings and launch an invasion of our little blue planet.

Trump’s Appointment of Ken Starr to His Defense Team Shocks Monica Lewinsky

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“This is definitely an ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ kinda day.”

Monica Lewinsky tweet

The mindblowing hypocrisy and unmitigated gall of former independent counsel Ken Starr joining President Donald Trump’s impeachment defense team surprised all of us, but it shocked Monica Lewinsky, the former White House intern and former President Bill Clinton’s favorite humidor to the point that she channeled the short-fingered vulgarian by posting this tweet punctuated with an expletive.  

Lewinsky’s sexual relationship with Slick Willy led to his impeachment in 1998, and it made Starr a conservative darling for heading the investigation.

The former White House intern didn’t explicitly make it clear that her tweet was a reference to the hiring of Starr and his successor as independent counsel, Robert Ray, by Trump’s defense team, but you don’t have to be a rocket scientist, presidential historian or a political pundit to connect the dots.

I feel you Monica, every day since Trump was inaugurated as president of the United States has been an “are you fucking kidding me kinda day.”

We can only hope that our long national nightmare will end sooner rather than later, and the Republican Senators will finally do the right thing and remove Trump from office, leading all of us to exclaim in relief and astonishment:

This is an are you fucking kidding me kinda day!

Trump Rallies White Evangelicals by Expanding ‘Constitutional Prayer’ in Public Schools

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And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Matthew 6:5

President Donald Trump marked “Religious Freedom Day” by signing an executive order expanding “Constitutional prayer” in public schools, his latest effort to shore up his white evangelical base with the general election just months away.

This executive action is emblematic of his tenure in office for the following reasons:

It illustrates how Trump represents his base, and will do anything to appease them, while ignoring communities that didn’t vote for him.

It once again drives home the point that the king of the white evangelicals issues executive decrees instead of working with Congress to establish laws that will withstand judicial scrutiny.

It demonstrates how Trump loves photo ops where he signs an executive order that is sometimes unconstitutional, and sometimes unnecessary. Although the Supreme Court banned school-sponsored prayer in public schools in a 1962 decision because it violated the First Amendment students are allowed to meet and pray on school grounds.

As long as there are students who haven’t studied for a test, and students who are afraid that their crush won’t accept their invitation to the prom there will be prayer in public schools.

But white evangelicals want their children to pray loudly and openly in the name of Jesus, never mind the sensibilities of atheist, Muslim and Jewish students.

Finally, it shows us that Trump is cognizant that the stench of impeachment won’t dissipate before the general election, and he will take desperate measures to shore up his base.

What the Hell is Wrong With Donald Trump?

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There is something seriously wrong with Donald Trump, even his most ardent supporters privately stipulate to this glaring and manifest reality.

Many religious people believe that Trump has sold his soul to the devil for earthly fame and wealth. However, America is a post-Christian nation and most of us believe that environment and free will shape our actions and behaviors, and “the devil made me do it” is the excuse of a bygone era.

Some secular folks believe that Trump has a psychological disorder, be it a borderline personality disorder or a narcissist personality disorder. Fundamentalists believe that all the reasons for humankind’s sins can be found in the Bible, and humanists believe that all the answers for are failings can be found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Maybe Trump’s pathological behavior stems from a physical cause, be it dementia or an undiagnosed brain tumor. Have decades of guzzling Diet Coke and eating steaks, hamburgers and fried chicken taken a toll on his body and mind?

Or is Trump on drugs? Trump sniffled extensively and experienced difficulty articulating words during his speech to the nation following the assassination of Iranian General. Qassem Soleimani. A speed freak fresh out of a party with his druggie pals could have delivered a more coherent and articulate speech. The Iran speech wasn’t an aberration, the stable genius frequently has a severe case of the sniffles when delivering an important address. Does the septuagenarian commander-in-chief do lines of Adderall all day to remain conscious?

Or is Trump simply a jerk, the mother of all assholes?

I’m not a theologian, psychiatrist, physician or philosopher, I am merely a third-rate pundit, but in my humble opinion we should spend less time pondering why Trump is such a disaster, and spend more time removing him from office by any means necessary.