Trump Muses About an Army of Trump Robots Hitting the Campaign Trail

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In a characteristically disjointed speech to first responders in the White House Rose Garden, Donald Trump acknowledged having “some severe problems” and voiced concern about midterm elections that appear unfavorable to the Republican Party.

Trump, who often posts memes portraying himself as a messiah or superhero, rarely admits fault. Perhaps a lack of sleep left him disoriented enough to tell the truth.

No shit—he has severe problems, including dementia, physical decline, and a lack of morals.

“If my voice holds out, we’re going to be in great shape,” the octogenarian said after listing the states remaining on his schedule, which called for roughly a rally and a half each day. “You know, it is one voice after all. You could maybe get one of those beautiful robots they make nowadays, make it look just like me, and no one would know the difference. Send it out on the trail while I sit home and watch it on television.”

Some robots—especially sex robots—may be beautiful, but robots resembling Trump would be horrifying. An army of them would make me think the robot apocalypse had begun.

One Donald J. Trump is enough; an army of Trump robots might prompt the Almighty to destroy the world and start over.

Trump Tells Supporters, ‘I Can Say the Stupidest Things and You’d Clap’, Wankers Clap

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Donald Trump addressed a crowd of MAGA cultists in Clarksville, located in scarlet red Tennessee, claiming he could say the “stupidest things” and still receive applause. On cue, the mob erupted in rapturous applause.

The fascist authoritarian is so secure in his rock-solid standing with evangelicals, that he insults them to their face, and in the process wins their adulation.

If the con artist holds a rally and promises his followers that if the Republicans win the midterms, he will bless them with a $5,000 check, a brand-new pickup and a signed copy gold leaf Trump bible, they will form into a circle jerk and shower him with ejaculate.

If you look up the phrase “useful idiot” in the dictionary, you will see an image of a man wearing a red hat and a T-shirt proclaiming, “Jesus is My Savior, and Trump is my President.”

Multiple reports from former aides, books, and journalistic investigations indicate that the stable genius has privately mocked and insulted evangelical Christians.

Trump has publicly declared that “he loves the uneducated,” naturally he loves ignorant bible-thumping evangelicals who can easily be manipulated and controlled.

What a horrible timeline we are trapped in, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World utters babbling nonsense, and his disciples are awe struck with his heavenly wisdom.

Hero Grandpa Shoots Drunk ICE Goon Who Was ‘Sleeping in Off’ on His Front Lawn

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U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) should be abolished—not reformed, rehabilitated, or restored. Abolished. Period.

ICE agents are the Trump administration’s Gestapo-like enforcers. Their record includes well-documented human rights abuses, aggressive interior enforcement tactics, family separations, and incidents that can only be described as the public execution of innocent American civilians.

An off-duty inebriated ICE thug was arrested for attacking a woman and her father after he was found “sleeping it off” on their lawn.

The woman arrived home to find the ICE agent, 32-year-old David Gonzalez, sleeping on her front lawn. Imagine the poor lady’s horror, I would rather find a serial killer or a plague-infected homeless person sleeping on my lawn.

The woman told her 72-year-old father, with whom she lives, and he “went outside to send Gonzalez on his way,”. When Gonzalez woke up, he “appeared intoxicated and agitated” and assaulted the father. The default mode of an ICE agent is to assault a citizen, even when the so-called law enforcement agent is trespassing and publicly drunk.

The woman’s father produced a gun and fired one shot at Gonzalez, striking him in the midsection. I applaud the incredible restraint of the elderly dad; I would have been tempted to riddle the drunk bastard with bullets or set him on fire.

The woman called her boyfriend, an off-duty police officer, who arrived and placed Gonzalez in handcuffs, according to Fresno police. I am not anti-law enforcement, this off-duty cop did the right thing by slapping handcuffs on the ICE hooligan.

The ICE agent was charged with felony assault and vandalism. After being taken by ambulance to a hospital, he should be held in jail pending trial.

Naked Statue of Trump Unveiled at European Parliament

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Donald Trump is on a crusade to erect monuments to himself in Washington D.C before his tyrannical regime ends in impeachment, implementation of 25th amendment or a stroke. He has already demolished the East Wing of the White House to erect his $400 million presidential ballroom, and he intends to erect a 250-foot-tall Triumphal Arch near Arlington Cemetery. 

The American public may be powerless to stop this egotistical monster from defiling the nation’s capital, but rest assured that you will not find any monuments erected in his honor in any of the world’s major cities.

However, you will find a Donald Trump statue in Strasbourg, France, the official seat of the European Parliament. But this work of art does not glorify the fat toad, instead it ridicules and mocks him. Titled “The Orange Plague,” the masterpiece depicts the US president on the shoulders of a frail man. His fat thighs and sagging belly wrap tightly around the man’s head; his hands clutch at a long golf club and a miniature scales of justice.

The orange piece of human excrement is an albatross around the neck of America and a burden on the shoulders of the world.

A chef’s kiss to Danish artist Jens Galschiot who created this magnus opus, may he inspire American artists to honor the fascist in similar fashion.

Trump is Too Old to be Alive, Let Alone be President

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“During his recent trip to Washington, Chinese officials made some highly specific requests for President Xi Jinping. They wanted to guarantee the 73-year-old leader had plenty of time to rest between meetings with President Donald Trump.

The Chinese team asked for a private room in the West Wing. Only his wife, Peng Liyuan, was permitted inside to be with him.”

MSN

Chinese President Xi Jinping is 73 and shows no signs of dementia, cankles, obesity, or a heart condition. Even so, his aides ensure that the stocky septuagenarian avoids overexertion and gets ample rest.

At 80, President Donald Trump needs adequate rest, particularly given concerns about his cognitive and physical health. Yet his aides appear unwilling to urge him to avoid shouting or speaking at length during rallies—antics that could increase his risk of a stroke or heart attack.

In between meeting with world leaders Trump should have a private room in the White House, and only Natalie Harp should be permitted inside with him. She can change his diapers, fellatio him, breathe on his cold and decomposing hands and give him a pep talk.

Under the tender ministrations of Natalie maybe Sleepy Don will not look Like Weekend at Bernie’s when he is conversing with world leaders.

Allowances must be made for a decrepit and demented octogenarian who is one Big Mac away from a stroke.

Trump Fluffer Robert Jeffress Claims James Talarico isn’t a Christian

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Organized religion poses an existential threat to humanity comparable to AI and global warming. I support the separation of church and state, and my ideal political candidate does not profess allegiance to any religious faith.

However, I support James Talarico who is running for the U.S Senate in Texas, in spite of the fact that he holds a Master of Arts in Theological Studies and is pursuing a Master of Divinity at the Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary to become an ordained minister.

Talarico places his Christian faith at the center of his public identity and political career, but unlike evangelical Christians, he does not seek to transform our democracy into a white Christian nationalist theocracy. He believes that the Constitution and not the bible is the is the foundation of our democracy, and he is determined to make Texas a state where everyone regardless of ethnicity, sexual orientation or religion or lack thereof feels comfortable.

Robert Jeffress, the pastor of First Baptist Dallas, has a penchant for speaking from his ass. A diehard Trump supporter since 2015, Jeffress has declared the Democrat Party a “godless party,” and he even announced Democrats worship the Old Testament pagan god, Moloch.

The latest outburst emanating from Jeffress’ ass is his claim that Talarico is not a Christian. Jeffress declared that Talarico’s beliefs “disqualify him from being a Christian” after Talarico said that “God is nonbinary” and embodies both masculine and feminine traits.

Jesus himself declared that God is spirit; indeed, God is the epitome of a nonbinary being.

I would not place much stock in anything that Jeffress proclaims, after all this is the same asshole who thinks that the thrice married, twice impeached, pathological liar and adjudicated rapist Donald Trump is a great Christian.

Evangelicals Idolize the Bible

Evangelicals often label Latter-day Saints, Seventh-day Adventists, and Jehovah’s Witnesses as cults while ridiculing their sacred texts, including the Book of Mormon and Ellen G. White’s writings.

But evangelicals are more cult-like than the aforementioned Christian sects, they set themselves apart from mainstream Christianity with their rabid devotion to their orange messiah and their idolatrous affection for the Bible. They treat the bible as a magic book that explains all of life’s mysteries, and they use it as a weapon to thump unbelievers.

The Bible was written by roughly 40 authors over about 1,500 years, so it naturally contains contradictions. This helps explain why more than 40,000 Christian denominations interpret it differently.

Evangelicals are woefully ignorant of the bible that they venerate, and they memorize a few dozen verses, and they use these selected words to demonize everyone outside their cult.

Evangelicals are so quick to use the bible to condemn others that they are rendered spiritually blind to the teachings of Jesus Christ. They place more stock in selected scripture verses than in the love and mercy of the founder of Christianity.

Evangelicals would be better served by setting aside an excessive reverence for the Bible and focusing instead on loving God with all their heart, soul, and mind, and loving their neighbors as themselves.

Low IQ Trump Humiliated by Glaring Spelling Error on AI Agreement

In a mid-September 2026 post on Truth Social, the stable genius Donald Trump, pushed back against the safety warnings from CEOs of the leading AI companies by writing:

“The only control or ‘guardrails’ that AI needs is a STRONG AND SMART (High IQ!) PRESIDENT, and the U.S.A. has that, in spades!”

By all accounts Trump was a mediocre student who did not graduate with any honors. He is so ashamed of his scholastic history that he has threatened his former schools with lawsuits if they ever released his academic records.

In his prime Trump possessed a room temperature IQ, and now that he is on his second childhood he has the IQ of a toddler.

With most philosophers, scientists, and high-tech gurus warning that AI may achieve deity-like intelligence by the end of the decade, we are cursed to have a moron at the helm of the most important office in the world.

Case in point, Trump humiliated himself by signing an AI agreement that had a glaring spelling error. Under his signature, United States is spelled incorrectly, reading “Unites States” instead. The document reads, “Donald J. Trump,” followed by “President of the Unites States.”

Once AI achieves a God-like intelligence the first action it will take is to smite Donald J. Trump.

Evangelicals Love Ugly Toad Tom Homan

Border Czar Tom Homan speaks with a deep, raspy, and gravelly voice, and his vocal tone is defiant and aggressive. You would think the Trump regime would keep this marble mouth monstrosity out of the public spotlight.

But Homan is frequently called upon to speak before evangelical and Catholic audiences, especially now as the midterms are quickly approaching.

Homan, whose hateful rhetoric and defiant delivery, is matched by his physical repulsiveness, is the perfect spokesperson for evangelicals. His malignant and malevolent spirt resonates with conservative Christians.

Homan’s recent speech before the Georgia Faith and Freedom Coalition was an unabashed defense of the regime’s immigration brutality.

Homan a Catholic who has criticized Pope Leo’s objections to the Trump regime’s immigration crackdown, peppered his address with profanity.

The faith audience ate up the xenophobia and expletives; Homan probably succeeded in his crusade to inspire the faithful to vote for Trump’s fascist agenda.

Trump is Chinese President Xi Jinping’s Biggest Fanboy

Although U.S. presidents generally avoid greeting foreign dignitaries on the tarmac, Trump welcomed Chinese President Xi Jinping there at Joint Base Andrews.

The putative Leader of the Free World pulls the carpet from underneath the feet of our allies, but he rolled out the red carpet for the leader of communist China.

Donald Trump feels the cold more as he grows older and more decrepit, and even a ton of blubber is unable to insulate him from the fall chill. You would think it was the dead of winter judging by the long winter coat and leather gloves the geriatric-in-chief was wearing in the 65-degree weather.

Perhaps it was not the cold so much but the embarrassment of the Chinese dictator noticing his diapers and grotesque doll hands that motivated him to cover up with a heavy coat and leather gloves.

At least, Trump’s obsequiousness towards the Chinese despot was largely absent from cable news shows, because the TV press pool was boycotting coverage of White House events in solidarity with their excluded colleagues.

Grocery Shopping is Stressful for Boomers

As a baby boomer, I grew up when customer service came with a smile. Uniformed attendants let drivers remain in their cars while they checked engine oil and other fluids, washed windshields, checked tire pressure, and pumped gas—all at no extra charge.

A trip to the grocery store was a pleasant experience, a bagger, usually a young man, packaged your purchases securely and efficiently at the checkout lane and offered to wheel your cart to the parking lot and load the bag in your vehicle.

If a bagger offered to wheel my cart to the parking lot and load my groceries, I would fear he might carjack my hooptie, snack on my food, smoke a joint, and speed away.

For a boomer, grocery shopping today can be as stressful as a dental visit. My neighborhood store rarely has a cashier-assisted lane open, so I must use self-checkout. I will never learn how to weigh produce or use a digital coupon. I usually eschew human interaction, but I prefer a lane with a cashier, so I can relax and focus on my one task, swiping my card to pay for my groceries.

Whenever I use self-checkout, I feel like a grocery store employee and believe I should receive a discount for doing the work myself.

And not to mention the bewildering and dizzying variety of products, for example back in the day there was just the basic chocolate Oreo cookie with crème in the middle. Today there are more than a dozen varieties of Oreo cookies, not to mention other kinds of baked goods that also bear the Oreo brand.

I should really get with the program and have my groceries delivered to my home.

The World is Going to Shi*

“An extreme fitness athlete has triggered a biohazard row after she soiled herself and carried on competing while covered in feces.

Joanna Wietrzyk became unwell while taking part in the Hyrox event in Beijing on Saturday, but pushed on to win the competition.”

The Barbell Spin

The world is going to shit, and I am not just talking about the homeless brazenly defecating in public. Public defecation and soiling at concerts have become increasingly common as fans refuse to surrender their spots near the front of packed crowds. Involuntary defecation is also prevalent among weightlifters, particularly women, at weightlifting competitions.

Now we have a selfish woman who, despite shitting herself, refused to withdraw from the competition. Winning mattered more to her than becoming a biohazard and exposing other athletes to contamination.

This woman showed no remorse. Afterward, she even had the gall to post on social media:

“Go hard or go home … a win is a win. In all seriousness, thank you for all the support. I’ll be back soon x.”

HYROX is an indoor extreme fitness competition which involves female and male athletes alternating between running and exercises such burpees rowing and a sled push.

HYROX claims to provide a sterile exercise area for competitors, as such it penalizes spitting and littering. Yet the organizers did not pull this sociopath from the competition when she soiled herself with diarrhea streaming down her legs contaminating equipment and mats.

If Wietrzyk does not apologize she should be pelted with dirty diapers.

Dying Wish: One Final Drag From a Joint

“The rock world is mourning Gordon Kaelin McIntyre, the former frontman for the beloved hardcore band CDC.

A cause of death has not been made public, but McIntyre was active on social media right up until the end, and his last post caught the attention of several of his fans and friends.

‘What I need is a cigarette,’ McIntyre wrote on Facebook Wednesday. ‘No more prayers.’”

PennLive.Com

I am unfamiliar with Gordon Kaelin McIntyre and the hardcore band CC he fronted, but his final words resonate with me.

I despise the phrase “thoughts and prayers.” It is an empty, empathy-free platitude that substitutes for meaningful action. Evangelical preachers and politicians routinely invoke it after mass tragedies or disasters. I have heard it countless times, and I sure as hell do not want thoughts and prayers said on my behalf on my deathbed.

As I am dying, I would rather have my loved ones keep a quiet vigil than offer empty prayers on my behalf. Sing a song if you will, recite a poem if you must, just do not usher me to the other side with heavenly supplications.

Life is for the living, right until the end. McIntyre wanted to drag one last puff out of life. When I lay dying what I want is one last drag from a blunt.

Turn the Damn Speakerphone Off!

When I lived and worked in the San Francisco Bay Area, elevators were unavoidable; on an average day, I rode them dozens of times. My biggest annoyance was elevator music, commonly called Muzak, which was deliberately designed to be bland, boring, and inoffensive to a wide range of riders.

In fact, I experienced existential dread when Muzak striped away the exuberance and infectiousness of a pop hit like “Brown-eyed Girl” by Van Morrison and rendered it a lifeless husk.

Still, elevator music is an audiophile’s delight compared with inconsiderate people who use speakerphones or play videos at full volume. An elevator ride lasts only seconds, but enduring loud speakerphone conversations in a doctor’s waiting room can feel like purgatory.

I cannot wait for an iPhone with a brain implant that lets people converse telepathically.

Trump Lunges at Female Reporter Asking About 5K Checks

You may have heard this before: Donald Trump confronted a female reporter after she asked a reasonable, nonprovocative question.

The thin-skinned bully got in the face of ABC’s Rachel Scott after she asked him a question about his national midterm voter bribe:

“Mr. President, on the checks: The U.S. is still $40 trillion in debt. If your economic policies are working, why do you need an incentive for people to turn out to vote?”

I am a blogger, not a professional reporter, and I would have asked the question more bluntly:

“Mr. Trump, on your illegal and unethical bribe: The U.S is still $40 trillion in debt. Your economic policies are a disaster. Your tariffs and your senseless war on Iran are spiking inflation. If you honestly think the economy is booming, why do you need to bribe people to turn out to vote?”

As usual Trump pivoted to blaming Biden, when Scott countered:

“But you also offered checks through—”

“Not you. Not you!” Trump screamed his orange face turning red. He leaned in threateningly close to Scott, close enough to smother her with his toxic breath. “Hey, not you,” he yelled again. “Your network … you’re the worst.”

White House correspondents should receive combat pay, imagine if you will face-to-face with an evil entity with a mouth that looks like sphincter and a neck that resembles a vagina.

I commend Scott for her professional demeanor and for having the tenacity to hold the president accountable for his unethical behavior.

Don’t Touch That Dial!

As a baby boomer who grew up in the analog era, there are certain phrases like “you sound like a broken record” and “hang up the phone, that I still use in everyday conversation, even though they mark me as an oblivious old-timer.

My favorite antiquated phrase is “don’t touch that dial.” Its authoritative tone is perfect for addressing disrespectful youngsters. I have your “Okay, Boomer” right here.

Its possessive tone resonates with me: it is my TV dial, and I’ll decide what we watch.

Before remote controls and streaming menus, changing the channel meant leaving the sofa to turn a dial on the black-and-white TV or radio. Few things were more satisfying than the click of the dial as you found your favorite program.

I wish TVs with physical dials were still an option, even if my creaky bones make getting up to change the channel count as exercise.

You can keep your voice-activated remotes and touch-screen laptops; I fondly remember how happy I was when I adjusted the rabbit ears on the TV and clicked the dial to watch my favorite program, Batman.

Trump’s Vanity Projects are an Abomination

A reporter asked Donald Trump what he thought of Senator Jon Ossoff’s barb that he was “obsessed with building monuments to himself because no one will honor him when he’s gone.”

“That’s true,” Trump said. “Nobody will do it once I’m gone. When I leave here, nobody will.”

Statesmen do not build monuments to themselves; they leave history to record their achievements and future generations to honor their legacy.

Dictators build monuments to themselves because they know history will record their failures, future generations will tear down their statues, and their legacy will be condemned.

Monuments honor leaders whose accomplishments served the public good. Trump seems self-aware enough to know that many Americans see him as using power to enrich himself rather than serve the people. Once he is gone, the only monument citizens might raise in his honor is a portable toilet—which explains his rush to build monuments glorifying himself.

Trump’s vanity projects—the Great Triumphal Arch, the billion-dollar ballroom, the billion-dollar plane gifted by the Qatari government, and the renovations to the Reflecting Pool—will serve only as reminders of how he wasted taxpayer money to honor himself.

Trump is a steaming pile of human shit, and everything he touches turns to shit, and his shitty monuments will outlast him, and serve to warn future generations not to elect such a shitty president.

Boomers: Don’t Show Up to a Home Unannounced

Many young people feel uneasy about in-person interactions and prefer to communicate by text or email. They would also avoid visiting a friend or family member without notice.

Dropping in on someone unexpectedly can cause crippling existential anxiety. Do I have edibles to serve my guests? Did I leave my dirty drawers on the bathroom floor? Did I leave my laptop open to bustybabes.com? Is there anything in my fridge besides beer? Did my neighbors notice how freaky my friends are?

Baby boomers often do not recognize how disruptive an unannounced visit can feel to their children and grandchildren.

These inconsiderate old farts don’t understand that to visit their younger relatives unexpectedly is like the Grim Reaper showing up unexpectedly at their front door.

For a boomer to visit a family member without notice is as inconsiderate as a crack-head hooker showing up unexpectedly at John’s home. The trick may be home with his spouse, not have $20 to spare or simply not horny.

A word to the wise: an unexpected visit can be as unwelcome as a lingering old fart that stinks and fails to dissipate.

Trump Falls Asleep Standing Up

“The president appeared at NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston for a ceremony to award the Artemis II mission astronauts the Congressional Space Medal of Honor. Cameras captured Trump appearing to struggle to keep his eyes open during the ceremony. As he stood in front of NASA astronauts, the 80-year-old president could be seen closing his eyes for lengthy periods several times. Trump’s body appeared to sway side-to-side and jerked upward slightly at points.”

MSN

Donald Trump has been caught on camera appearing to close his eyes and nod off during several meetings while sitting behind the Resolute Desk in the White House.

In a disturbing turn of events the narcoleptic octogenarian fell asleep while standing during a ceremony to honor the Artemis astronauts.

This could be dangerous not only for Trump, but also for anyone standing nearby, as they could be injured if he fell on them.

It is a miracle the bloated buffoon did not tip over, considering his weak cankles are supporting his blubbery butt.

According to the Book of Exodus, whenever Moses raised his hands holding God’s staff, the Israelites prevailed in their battle with the Amalekites. When his arms grew tired and he lowered his hands, the enemy started to win. Aaron and Hur placed a stone for Moses to sit on when he grew weary. They stood on each side of him and physically held up his hands.

Trump should never be allowed to stand for more than a few minutes; his aides should place a golden toilet for him to sit. This will alleviate two problems: he can shit directly into the toilet and avoid soiling his diaper, and he will not have to worry about falling over.

JD Vance and Marco can stand on either side of Trump, and physically hold up his tiny hands, giving the impression that the Orange Messiah is blessing his supporters.

When’s the Last Time Fat Pig Trump Saw His Penis?

“Well, Mr. President, from one fat pig to another, take it from me that physical fitness is very important. And trust me, you’ll be happy to see your penis again. It’s crazy. Think about this, y’all. In the last few years, I’ve lost 300 pounds. That means I’ve lost an entire Donald Trump.”

Jelly Roll ragging on Trump on “Kimmel”

Donald Trump, known for being thin-skinned and narcissistic, gets his panties in a twist over a few mild jokes Jimmy Kimmel makes at his expense. I imagine he is shitting bricks over the crude joke Jelly Roll made about Trump’s weight on “Kimmel.”  I mean Jelly Roll really rolled that fat bastard.

What stronger motivation could Trump have to lose a few pounds than finally being able to see his tiny pecker again? Granted, no one else wants that view, and I feel sorry for Stormy Daniels and the other sex workers who had to endure it. Still, Trump would surely be thrilled to spot his tiny, mushroom-shaped manhood once more.

I can imagine what Trump might post on Truth Social if he could see his tiny pecker again:

“I am protected by the armor of God—specifically, a presidential sword more powerful than Excalibur. No one has ever seen such a mighty weapon; John Holmes and Ron Jeremy would envy it. Arnold Palmer would rise from the grave to honor my manhood.”

He would probably post an AI-enhanced image of himself. Hopefully, Natalie Harper would persuade him not to embarrass himself by sharing such nonsense.

Don’t Ever Send Me a Hallmark Card

I am a pragmatic, unsentimental soul who prefers dystopian science fiction movies, gritty documentaries, and crime thrillers, especially those that feature serial killers.

Naturally, cheesy Hallmark movies are anathema to me: their predictable plots, sanitized small towns, and exaggerated romantic tropes are unbearable. Happy endings may belong in a massage room, but in a feel-good Hallmark movie, they are nauseating.

The Hallmark brand feels conformist, manufactured, and bland; thankfully, I can easily ignore the Hallmark Movie Channel among hundreds of streaming options.

Although many Hallmark mall locations have closed over the years, some remain open. Since only baby boomers seem to send physical greeting cards, how do these relics stay profitable?

I may be old, but I still cannot stand Hallmark’s saccharine sensibility. I only hope no prankster googles me and sends me one of its greeting cards.

Let’s Hope Trump’s Fatty Diet Will Lead to Premature Death

“The 80-year-old president weighed approximately 238 pounds at his physical exam in May – 14 pounds more than last year and 23 pounds more than the 215 pounds he was listed at in 2023, documented when he was arrested in Georgia, the newspaper noted.”

Independent

The average human bowel movement weighs between 4 and 16 ounces; fat people generally produce more waste than normal individuals. A portly pig like Trump creates enough feces to fertilize the White House front lawn. To get an accurate weight, the defecator-in chief’s diaper should be changed before a physician weighs him.

A leopard does not change his spots, and a morbidly obese octogenarian is not going to shed any pounds. Trump loves him some McDonald’s burgers and fries lathered in ketchup, I am not a physician, but my prognosis is that he is going to continue to pack on the pounds until the Grim Reaper hauls his roly-poly ass to hell.

Physicians warn that the beefy buffoon’s weight gain is a significant risk factor for several health problems, including premature disability and death.

Thank God that none of Trump’s doctors have the balls to tell the pudgy pedophile that if he does not lose a lot of weight he might die of a stroke or heart attack.

May Trump’s plate always be full of burgers, fries, and meatloaf.

Trump Puts His Ugly Mug on Reflecting Pool

Everything Donald Trump touches seems to turn into faux gold, shit, or algae. The decorator-in-chief had the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool drained and repainted “American-flag blue” earlier this year, only for algae blooms to quickly turn the water green and the blue paint to start peeling soon after.

This week, the shitposter-in-chief uploaded an A.I.-generated image of the infamous pool featuring a silhouette of his ghastly face in a shade of green not dissimilar to cheap gold jewelry that has turned green.

Let’s hope the rage-baiter-in-chief is only trolling liberals, because nothing could be worse than a reflecting pool bearing the silhouette of Trump’s ugly mug—not even discovering the bodies of homeless people floating on its surface.

If the narcissist-in-chief does order the pool to feature an image of his face, let us hope it does not fade—otherwise, the liar-in-chief will blame vandals.

Nepo Senator Darline Graham Unfit to Serve in Senate

Darline Graham became a Senator for South Carolina on July 14, 2026, after being appointed by South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster to fill the vacancy left by her brother, the late Senator Lindsey Graham.

While the official constitutional power to appoint her belonged to McMaster, to be clear President Donald Trump practically ordered him to appoint the thoroughly unqualified sister of Lindsey Graham.

If Trump had ordered his lackey to appoint Lady G’s kitten CiCi, the adorable tabby would be running for office.

Before her appointment to the Senate, Darline Graham had never run for or held elected office, not even dogcatcher.

Her lack of experience became clear when she was asked whether the United States has a national security interest in Taiwan and the South China Sea. She replied, “I’m just going to be honest here. I’m … not that informed on national security.”

Are you kidding me? She is trying to succeed her brother, whose political reputation was built on hawkish foreign policy. Of course, his approach was hardly sophisticated; it mostly amounted to declaring war against Muslim-majority countries in service of Israel.

Darline Graham’s résumé rests on her last name, her platform centers on loyalty to Trump, and her confidence appears rooted in white privilege. She does not deserve to serve in the Senate.

Trump’s Boxy Rump Stump’s Internet

“White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt shared a clip of the President leaving a rally on Friday, but his rear end appeared to be much boxier than usual.

A somewhat rigid outline was spotted near the back of Trump’s suit and has now prompted further speculation about the 80-year-old’s potential health issues.”

Metro.

Usually, President Donald Trump’s spinster-shaped mouth draws most of the press’s attention. No one can predict what bizarre, crude, or foolish remarks will come from the foul orifice.

Today, however, attention has shifted to his other asshole, fueling speculation about the octogenarian’s health. In what appeared to be a final jab at her former boss, former Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt posted a video that depicted him carrying a lot of junk in his trunk.

The incontinent moron eats like a pig and often lumbers around with a full diaper. But this time, his rear end looked unusually boxy—so what was going on?

Was Trump hiding the most incriminating Epstein files in his rump? Or perhaps a giant Bible—given how often he shits on the values Jesus represents.

I just hope he’s gone soon so I no longer have to write essays about him; my Trump pieces always end up dwelling on his filth.