Trump Will Participate in Marathon Bible Reading

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After a week marked by Donald Trump’s public feud with Pope Leo XIV and his sharing of an AI-generated image portraying himself as Jesus on Truth Social, Trump is set to participate in the “America Reads the Bible Marathon,” which is a week-long livestreamed event.

It is laughable that the morbidly obese octogenarian would participate in any kind of marathon.

The functionally illiterate degenerate who has never read the Bible is trying to sanitize his image as a Christian. Trump could read the entire Bible is the original Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic and he still would not convince me that he is a genuine Christian.

Trump is set to recite 2 Chronicles 7:14

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

Hell will freeze over before the narcissist humbles himself before God, and repents of his myriad sins, including pedophilia, rape, racism, homophobia, and misogyny.

Key participants scheduled to participate in the Bible reading marathon include MAGA stalwarts: the drunkard Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, the closeted House Speaker Mike Johnson, the Trump fluffer Franklin Graham, and the most despised member of the Senate, Ted Cruz.

The Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C. is set to host the “America Reads the Bible” marathon. I hope the Almighty will smite this unholy gathering of grifters, hypocrites and blasphemers.  

MAGA Evangelicals Shrug at Trump’s Blashemy

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After evangelical Pastor Paula White, the Senior Advisor to the White House Faith Office, compared Donald Trump to Jesus Christ, Trump doubled down on the blasphemy, sacrilege, and heresy by posting on his Truth Social platform, an AI generated image depicting him as Jesus.

The blasphemous image depicted the billionaire buffoon in biblical-style white and red robes with light emanating from his demonically tiny hands as he healed a Jeffrey Epstein doppelganger in a hospital bed.

A horned, winged, demonic creature appeared in the background, seemingly giving his Satanic blessing as Trump attempted to resurrect the infamous pedophile.

White is a Prosperity Gospel grifter, thrice-married Jezebel with a penchant for speaking in tongues. The Dear Leader was sending a message to his sycophantic MAGA supporters: do not try to upstage me, I am the king of tomfoolery, narcissism, and blasphemy.

Trump’s remarks were considered offensive by Mainline Protestants, Roman Catholics, and Muslims, who hold differing views on Jesus but regard him with respect.

While several well-known MAGA evangelicals voiced their concern and disapproval, the majority of MAGA supporters reacted to Trump’s recent antics with indifference.

White evangelicals have a transactional relationship, not a spiritual kinship with their bloated Savior. They will praise and even worship him if he continues to support the genocidal state of Israel, oppose abortion and appoint conservative Supreme Court Justices.

If Trump throws one of his dirty diapers on a Nativity Scene, they will merely shrug and praise him to high heaven.

AI Jesus on the Mainline, Tell Him What You Want

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“For some evangelical Christians, faith is about having a personal relationship with Jesus. At $1.99 per minute, the tech company Just Like Me is taking that concept to a new level.

AP

Evangelical Christianity is a moneymaking scheme, ministers of megachurches live in luxury, while many of their parishioners struggle to make ends meet.

The Prosperity Gospel segment of the evangelical movement is especially predatory; they prey on the poor and vulnerable by promising miraculous returns on tithes and love offerings given to the church.

It should come as no surprise that an AI Jesus chatbot is a swindle to steal money from gullible evangelicals (oxymoron?)

Suckers can engage in a video call with a Jesus avatar generated by AI. The algorithm offers prayers and praise calculated to please the supplicants and intended to make them addicted to the virtual Jesus.

In some ways the AI Jesus is superior to the historical Jesus. Prayer in a real sense is a monologue, not a dialogue. Jesus never audibly responds to the prayers of the faithful, regardless how sincere and earnest they are. Evangelicals never see the object of their veneration, when praying they picture in their minds what their deity looks like.

Subscribers of this platform can join a video call with the AI Jesus, they can see him and he audibly responds to their queries and prayers.

AI Jesus on the mainline, tell him what you want.

AI Jesus on the mainline, for just $1.99 per minute,

He’ll answer your prayers.

Pete Hegseth Farts at Podium

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Politicians need to be careful about hot mic moments—these are times when someone is unknowingly recorded speaking frankly or saying something inappropriate because they did not realize the microphone was on.

It is par for the course for Secretary of War Pete Hegseth to utter inappropriate comments glorifying violence and advocating Christian fascism in his press conferences, so I am not sure he worries about being caught in a hot mic moment.

As Hegseth was standing at a podium ready to brief reporters on the Iran war, a distinct sound of what could only be a fart was heard. He quickly looked up to see if anyone noticed the embarrassing sound.

The notorious alcoholic has been accused of drinking alcohol at the podium before, but this is the first time he has been recorded farting at the podium.

After drinking alcohol, a person may experience an excessive amount of belching, abdominal bloating, and flatulence; I expect flatulence to become a common occurrence at Hegseth’s speeches and press conferences.

Hegseth has a penchant for leaking classified information, it should not come as a surprise that he has leaks of the gastrointestinal tract.

As much as Hegseth drinks, I am surprised his fart sounded like a pistol firing and not staccato machine gun fire.

Whenever I hear vitriolic rhetoric emanate from the drunk’s mouth I feel like vomiting, but I am lucky that I have not been exposed to the foul stench that originates from his rear end.

Mark Burns, Trump’s Spiritual Adviser Makes Excuses for his Profanity-Laced Tirade

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“Pastor Mark Burns revealed he confronted the president about his profanity-laced tirade on Truth Social:

“I think the president is very much like a Peter a very foul-mouthed individual.

But the president is not the pastor of the USA. He is the President of the USA. He is not the moral authority of our nation.”

MSN

I seriously doubt Burns privately confronted Trump about his profane rant on Truth Social. See my essay:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/trumps-truth-social-posts-insults-christianity-and-islam/

Burns is an Uncle Tom who vociferously supports Trump and the GOP, even though their rhetoric and policies are antithetical to the interests of Blacks. If he is too much of a coward to confront Trump about his blatant racism, he will not confront him about anything else.

Burns is too obsequious and cowardly to speak truth to power, instead of rebuking the foul-mouthed president, he made excuses for him. The mealy-mouthed sycophant compared Trump to the Apostle Peter who denied knowing Jesus three times on the night of Jesus’ arrest, and in his final denial, he swore to emphasize his point. If Burns was a true Christian he would have compared Trump to Judas, and not to the apostle that Roman Catholics consider the first pope.

Trump is the president of our country, not the pastor of our country, but that doesn’t give him carte blanche to post a profane, inflammatory rant to the leader of another country.

I’m not the president or a pastor, as a humble blogger I’ll speak on behalf Americans that are tired of Trump’s racist, vulgar, childish and authoritarian behavior: Fuck off and die, you freaking moron.

Trump’s Truth Social Posts Insults Christianity and Islam

On Saturday Donald Trump warned Iran in a Truth Social post:

“Remember when I gave Iran ten days to MAKE A DEAL or OPEN UP THE HORMUZ STRAIT. Time is running out – 48 hours before all Hell will reign down on them. Glory be to GOD!”.

We’re not suffering from dementia, we remember a threat you issued only a few days ago, but we also recall that you are the TACO president who makes over-the-top threats – such as massive tariffs or military strikes – only to delay, reduce, or cancel them after adverse market or public reaction.

Why should Iran take Trump’s bluster seriously, when they are cognizant that he may soil his diapers at any moment, go into a tantrum and forget his admonishments?

Trump’s threat of perpetrating war crimes by blowing up civilian infrastructure – coupled with his invoking of God – is a troubling sign that America is turning into a Christian theocracy led by a sociopath warmonger.

On Sunday Trump warned Iran in a Truth Social post:

“Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fucking Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP.”

On Saturday Trump made a mockery of Christianity by implying that Jehovah blesses war crimes, and on Sunday he insulted Islam with his “Praise be to Allah” taunt. MAGA Christians may not give a fuck if their orange messiah defiles Christianity, but both the Iranian Shia Muslims and the Gulf State Sunni Muslims are outraged by Trump’s Islamophobia.

Trump’s rant ensures that Iran will never give in to his demands, and they will cause our Sunni allies to reconsider their relationship with an unstable American ally.

Grandma Faces Trial for Wearing Penis Costume to No Kings Protest

Renea Gamble, 62, attended the No Kings rally in Fairhope, Alabama, on October 18, 2025. It is De rigueur for protesters at “No King’s” rallies to dress in inflatable frog costumes to project a non-threatening image, but Gamble chose a more provocative getup: a 7-foot inflatable penis.

Standing erect holding an American flag on one hand and a handmade sign reading “No Dick Tator” on the other, Gamble was an imposing figure. Her outfit was unusual and controversial, yet it fit America’s tradition of peaceful protest.

Trump and his allies have escalated attacks on dissent – prosecuting non-violent protestors as terrorists and punishing free speech. They are out-of-control, throwing the book at a grandma engaging in peaceful protest.

Gamble’s initial arrest was for the minor offense of disorderly conduct. Months later, she is now facing two additional charges in relation to the October incident: giving officers a false name and breaking a city ordinance related to disturbing the peace.

The authorities need to get off Gamble’s dick; her amusing garb does not merit heavy-handed prosecution.

The real dick in this incident is law enforcement. I do not understand why their panties are in a twist, a phallus waving an American flag is exactly what the average MAGA cultist looks like.

Don’t Let Your Boomer Relatives Use Checks

Baby boomers are stubborn as hell, they cling to their old-school ways, like still using checks to pay their bills or making purchases.

Using paper checks is the least secure payment method. Unlike modern digital transactions that use encryption and multi-factor authentication, checks physically expose your most sensitive financial data to anyone who handles your check.

The number of people who handle a physical check before it reaches a typically passes through three or four different hands in a standard mailing scenario: postal workers, the recipient, depositor, and the bank teller.  Any of these individuals can access your financial information and empty your bank account.

Each check from Grandma Betty or Auntie Hilda reveals her name, address, bank account and routing number, signature, and sometimes phone number—valuable information for criminals.

If a boomer relative is still using checks, they need an intervention. Don’t just say, “Ok Boomer”, I guess you are too pigheaded to change. Scare them straight and warn them that if they persist in using checks, they run the risk of identify theft and ending up penniless and homeless.

Responsible individuals discourage boomers from using checks.  

Trump’s Signature to Appear on Dollar Bills

“President Donald Trump’s signature will be added to all future U.S. paper currency starting with the $100 bill, the first time in history that a sitting president’s signature will appear on American banknotes, the U.S. Treasury announced March 26.”

USA Today

The phrase “dollar is king” refers to the U.S. dollar’s role as the world’s dominant reserve currency and its primary position in global trade and finance.

Donald Trump posted “LONG LIVE THE KING!” on Truth Social after ending New York City’s congestion pricing program. He rules unilaterally, issuing executive orders to bypass Congress and he ignores judicial decisions, believing himself the final authority on legal matters.

To appease Trump’s king-size ego his John Hancok will be added to all future U.S. paper currency. The first $100 bills bearing his signature will be printed in June 2026.

Today I participated in a “No Kings” rally in Lynchburg, Va, I abhor how Trump is destroying our democracy by acting like a king who answers to nobody but himself. My readers may be surprised that I think his name belongs on currency, whether as an honor or otherwise.  

The dollar is no longer king. Brazil, Russia, India, China, Egypt, Indondesia, and South Africa are seeking to reduce reliance on the U.S. dollar by settling trade in local currencies and developing alternative payment systems like BRICS Pay. Trump’s fascist behavior is accelerating the attempt to dethrone King Dollar. Trump’s scribble fits a falling currency.

Trump’s squiggle resembles an electrocardiogram and seeing it on our currency will give us hope that he will soon be dead of a heart attack or stroke. We all need a little bit of hope in these trying times.

By adding small dots to the peaks of his jagged, multi-peaked signature, the resulting image resembles a group of people wearing Ku Klux Klan hoods, making it the perfect symbol for his Nazi regime.

So yeah, I am down with Trump’s impression appearing on our currency.

My Nightmare: Meeting Trump in Person

I would never attend a Trump political rally or campaign event; I would rather be on a line for a proctological exam than be on a meet-and-greet line for the fascist monster. The likelihood of ever meeting him is nonexistent, but late at night when I am tossing and turning, I sometimes wonder if I would survive a close encounter with the pedophile-in-chief.

I like to look a person straight in the eyes, but the prospect of staring into the soulless raccoon eyes of the sociopath makes my skin crawl. Friedrich Nietzsche is well known for his assertion: “If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”  What alien thoughts would infect my consciousness if I looked into the eyes of a man without empathy?

If I avoided locking eyes with him and instead gazed at his hair, would that be any better? Being only inches away from his grotesque toupee that looks like cotton candy soaked in the urine of Russian escorts would cause me to lose my lunch.

If I focus on his mouth that resembles a sphincter, the price I would pay would be life-long therapy.

If I avoid his countenance altogether and glimpse at his neck, I would be confronted with an abomination that looks like a prolapsed vagina. Ogling a naked vagina is every heterosexual male’s fantasy, but when it is on the neck of a senile pedophile, it is every male’s nightmare.

I have survived many horrible experiences but thank God I have never endured the soul-quenching ordeal of meeting Trump face-to-face.

Trump Commemorative Gold Coin is an Abomination

“The Trump-appointed U.S. Commission of Fine Arts last week approved the design of a 24-karat gold commemorative coin — featuring Trump — to mark the 250th anniversary of America.”

MSN.com

The commemorative Trump coin will not circulate as currency, but two other coins bearing Trum’s butt-ugly mug, including a $1 piece that would be in circulation and a one-ounce gold one.

Living presidents do not appear on U.S. currency. Federal law explicitly prohibits depicting any living person on official currency to distinguish the American Republic from banana republics, monarchies, theocracies, and dictatorships that glorify and deify current leaders.

It is not a surprise that a Trump hand-picked group of lackeys approved the execrable design unanimously. They would have approved a design depicting their Dear Leader wearing a crown.

The commemorative coin features a serious-looking Trump leaning forward with fists clenched. This is a ridiculous attempt to make the draft-dodging coward look macho and menacing.

The other side of the coin should depict explosive diarrhea emanating from Trump’s naked fat ass.

I will certainly not buy the Trump commemorative coin, and I will refuse to accept in change any Trump coin that is in circulation.

A coin with Trump’s image may be par for the course in a White Nationalist Christian theocracy, but our country is still (barely) a democracy, and it’s anathema to me.

Trump Struggles to Fit Cankles Under Tiny Desk

The Resolute Desk is the most historic and iconic desk in American history. Nearly every president since Jimmy Carter has used it in the Oval Office. Donald Trump, who loves all the trappings of power, holds court behind the Resolute Desk, as he signs executive orders and lords it over White House correspondents.

Trump is a vile, vindictive, and petty little man, and it is an affront to decency for him to park his lard ass behind such a magnificent and historical piece of furniture.

The grifter-in-chief looks more natural sitting at the portable signing desk, the tiny Georgian-style wooden table typically used for bill-signing ceremonies when a large group of politicians and dignitaries needs to fit into the frame. A little desk for a little man with little imagination.

Trump, 79, grimaced while lowering his fat ass to the portable signing desk on Friday. He was honoring the Navy football team with the Commander-in-Chief’s trophy following their win against Army last December. As he went to sit down at the tiny desk to sign an executive order, he thrust out his leg for support, bending his cankle at an awkward angle. The buffoon gripped the sides of the desk to lower his bulk down. It is remarkable that the small desk remained intact; however, it is likely that the physical effort resulted in a soiled diaper.

An obese sociopath, sitting at a tiny desk, which fails to hide his fat cankles is the perfect illustration for the Trump administration, the only thing missing is a chamber pot underneath the desk.

‘Call a Boomer’ Pay Phone Connects Boomers and Zoomers

Pay phones were once ubiquitous, they were a reassuring presence on almost every city block.

In the digital age a pay phone is a novelty, an anachronism, a relic of a simpler place and time.

There is a bright yellow pay phone with the words “Call a Boomer” emblazoned on it on a busy street near Boston University. It connects with a phone located in the lobby of an affordable housing building for seniors in Reno, Nevada.

Unlike the vintage pay phones of yesteryear, this phone works without the need to insert a quarter, users on either end can pick up the phone, automatically dialing the counterpart.

These two phones are probably the most in-demand devices around: curious Zoomers will be eager to try out the vintage phone, while bored Boomers looking for conversation will not miss a chance to chat with anyone who picks up.

I am a boomer open to sharing my thoughts with younger people, especially those from Boston—I enjoy the Boston accent.

Younger generations may enjoy engaging in discussions with individuals who hold contrasting views about life overall and current events specifically.

The best things in life are free, and that includes talking on the phone with a person from a different generation.

QR Code Menus are Anathema to Boomers

Gen Z are constantly on the lookout for trendy new dining spots. They photograph their meals, post them on social media, and hope to go viral cementing their reputation as influencers and trendsetters. These hipsters seek out dining establishments with unique aesthetics, immersive atmospheres, and just the right vibe; the food itself is almost incidental.

Boomers on the other hand prize familiarity above everything else, they rotate between a handful of favorite restaurants, eschewing anything new or trendy Everyone knows their name, they’re greeted by a waitress (not server) named Betty or Norma, and they expect to see a giant wall on the clock, clean linen tablecloths and a physical menu.

They consider a QR code menu a sign of the End Times, and they will walk out of a QR code-only menu restaurant rather than scanning the code and reading the menu. These old timers think QR stands for Quite Repellent. A number of these older individuals possess older phones that are unable to scan QR codes. A menu is not essential for them, as they consistently choose the same entrée when ordering.  

For the love of God, restaurants that cater to boomers should ban laptops, gender-neutral bathrooms, fusion foods, and freaking QR code menus. Boomers have earned the right to dine in peace, ruminate over their aches and pains, enjoy their meatloaf in a coffee shop free of QR code menus.

American Evangelical Launches Billboard Campaign Across Israel: ‘Thank You God & Trump’

“Large billboards thanking President Donald Trump have appeared along major highways and central intersections in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, part of a campaign launched by the Friends of Zion Heritage Center, an evangelical organization based in Jerusalem.”

YNetNews.com

On February 28, 2006, Donald Trump, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World, initiated a large-scale aerial assault on the sovereign nation of Iran.

This immoral, illegal, and unjustifiable war has claimed the lives of over a thousand Iranian civilians, including 160 elementary school girls, has spiraled out-of-control, ignited a regional war and blown up the world economy.

You would expect religious leaders in Israel and America to speak truth to power, and denounce the fascist warmongers, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and American President Donald Trump, who perpetrated this crime against humanity.

Instead of calling upon these monsters to repent, Mike Evans, a long-time supporter of Israel and friend of Trump erected large billboards in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv with the sacrilegious message: “Thank You God and Donald Trump.”

When American evangelical Zionists and Israeli Orthodox Zionists witness the devastation caused by Israeli bombs and American missiles, they don’t weep over the indiscriminate murder of civilians in Lebanon and Iran.

Instead, they cream their pants, because according to their eschatology, the death and destruction of unbelievers will hasten the return of the Jewish messiah.

MAGA evangelicals and orthodox Jews may be thank God and Trump for attacking Iran, but the civilized world is cursing Trump.

Marco Rubio Humiliates Himself by Wearing Clown Shoes Trump Bought for Him

“President Trump has been gifting $145 Florsheim shoes to Cabinet officials and allies, with the Wall Street Journal calling them the ‘hottest MAGA status symbol.”

The Mirror

The $145 dress shoes do not reflect Trump’s generosity; instead, they indicate his stinginess. Scott Bessent, Secretary of the Treasury and multimillionaire, is known for wearing Italian leather dress shoes valued at several hundred dollars. However, like a good soldier, he wore the Florsheim shoes so as not to displease the Dear Leader.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Vice President JD Vance, and every male sycophant in his Cabinet all wore the inexpensive Florsheim shoes. Trump does not see his aides as individuals with their own sense of fashion, he sees them as subservient lackeys who might as well wear the same uniform.

Lil’ Marco Rubio looked absolutely ridiculous wearing the Florsheim shoes that were two sizes too big for him. Trump buys shoes for his employees without knowing their shoe size, and that shows how little he cares about them.

Trump’s Cabinet members do not have a spine, balls or any self-respect. What a bunch of clueless clowns. Rubio might as well don clown shoes. If Trump bought clown shoes for his Cabinet, most of them would wear them.

Kai Trump is Fair Game for Iranian Sleeper Cells

On February 28, 2006, Donald Trump, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World, initiated a large-scale aerial assault on the sovereign nation of Iran.

This immoral, illegal, and unjustifiable war has claimed the lives of over a thousand Iranian civilians, including almost 200 schoolgirls and the leader of Iran.

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader of Iran, and members of his family were killed in targeted joint U.S.-Israeli strikes in Tehran. Reports indicate his wife, daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren died in the attacks.

The two most lethal and ruthless militaries in the world, USA and Israel, enjoy air superiority over Iran, and they murder defenseless Iranians with impunity.

Iran undoubtedly has sleeper cells in America, and President Donald Trump and his family are legitimate targets. The draft dodger-in-chief is always surrounded by an army of Secret Service Agents and killing him will be no easy task even for trained terrorists.

Kai Trump, 18, is followed by Secret Service Agents, though fewer than those assigned to her grandfather, Donald Trump.

Kai recently took her 1.45 million followers inside Erewhon, an upscale grocery store in Los Angeles, while visiting California. The influencer joked about “going bankrupt” while loading her cart at the upscale supermarket.

Iranian sleeper cells should take notice that Kai has a penchant for grocery shopping at upscale stores. Though I hope Kai avoids disaster, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

My Transistor Radio from My Childhood is My Rosebud

Kids today take for granted the vast libraries of Spotify and other streaming platforms, with access to over one hundred million songs.

A child in the 1960s would have considered such a device as science fiction. Receiving a transistor radio for my ninth birthday made me feel as though I had hit the jackpot.

Those pocket-size radios looked super cool with their vibrant colors, space age styling, and leather-clad cases. Walking with my transistor radio in my pocket, I felt like an ’80s pimp carrying a boombox on their shoulder.

These ultra-portable radios looked nifty, but they had “tinny” sound quality due to small speakers. Tuning a transistor radio to get the best reception was a nightmare, it required careful adjustment, and the patience of a saint.

I enjoyed my transistor radio, often falling asleep listening to classics like Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” and Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.”

I miss my sweet little radio, good times never seemed so good. How I long for those pre-digital, pre-stereo halcyon days.

I can still see my pearly white transistor radio with a leather case; it is my Rosebud.

In Midst of War Evangelical Ministers Lay Hands on Trump in Oval Office Prayer Ceremony

On February 28, 2006, Donald Trump, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World, initiated a large-scale aerial assault on the sovereign nation of Iran.

This immoral, illegal, and unjustifiable war has claimed the lives of over a thousand Iranian civilians, and it has spiraled out-of-control, ignited a regional war and blown up the world economy.

As the US-Israeli war against Iran enters its seventh day, you would think Christian ministers would be faithful to their prophetic ministry, speak truth to power, and condemn Trump and Netanyahu for their bloodthirst, and speak out on behalf of defenseless victims.

Instead, evangelical leaders made a pilgrimage to the White House to lay hands on the warmonger commander-in-chief. Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Scavino circulated a video of this appalling and sacrilegious event. The footage of these prominent white evangelical leaders gathered around Trump with eyes closed in supplication almost made me vomit.

Pastor Tom Mullins pleaded:

“I pray for your grace and your protection over him. I pray for your grace and protection over our troops and all of our men and women serving in our armed forces.”

Mullin pleads with God to protect the pedophile president who is raining bombs and missiles on a defenseless population. How about a word or two for protection over the innocent civilians in Iran and Lebanon?

I beseech God to smite the White House with an errant missile while these evangelical clowns are praying for Trump.

Trump’s Attack on Iran is Unwarranted, Illegal and Immoral

Iran does not possess intercontinental ballistic missiles capable of reaching the continental United States. The consensus among nuclear experts is that Iran is not weeks away from producing nuclear bombs as claimed by Israel and Trump. In a 2012 address to the UN General Assembly Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu explicitly declared that Iran is weeks away from developing nuclear weapons. Since then, the warmonger has regularly warned that Iran is weeks away from having nuclear weapons. Yeah right, and Sidney Sweeney is only weeks away from accepting my marriage proposal.

In short, Iran does not pose an imminent threat to America, so why did Trump launch a massive aerial attack on the Islamic country? The ongoing military conflict against Iran is burning hundreds of billions of taxpayer money, so there must be a legitimate reason for going to war, right?

Trump has provided varying explanations for his military action against Iran. But the sad reality is that America has nothing to gain by attacking Iran, and our commander-in-chief took the extreme and unwarranted action on the behalf of Israel and to curry favor with his evangelical base.

Christian Nationalist Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and subordinates have invoked “biblical end times” rhetoric to justify involvement to troops. One officer told his troops that “Trump had been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth.”

The unstable Trump and his Christian Nationalist military officers aren’t going to hasten the return of Jesus Christ, but they may ignite a nuclear Armageddon or at least a regional war that will cost thousands of lives and blow up the world economy.

Boomer Bonus Day

April Fools’ Day is the favorite holiday of sociopaths, misanthropes and tricksters who take a perverse delight in playing practical jokes, hoaxes and pranks on their hapless friends, clueless colleagues, dim-witted acquaintances, and dementia-impaired senior citizens.

In a remarkable display of disrespect Boomer Bonus Day (BBD) is celebrated on this ignominious holiday. BBD honors boomers with special discounts, acts of kindness, and recognition. I am probably lucky that BBD does not happen every Leap Year on February 29th.

Businesses should offer boomers a special discount every day, our family should shower us with acts of kindness every day, and everyone should recognize our special qualities every day. After all, the Grim Reaper is hot on our tails and today may be the last opportunity to love on a boomer.

Circle April 1 on your calendar, and this year instead of playing a cruel joke on your favorite gullible boomer, shower them with gifts and compliments.

If my younger relatives do not make me feel special on BBD, I’ll be upset, but by the time April Fools’ Day arrives, I will forget that it is also BBD.

Nobody Cares How Boomers Dress

Older adults follow the unspoken expectation that they should remain inconspicuous by wearing subdued colors, practical fabrics, and outdated fashions. The young and vibrant are at the forefront with their primary colors and wild styles and the old and decrepit disappear into the background with their beige hues and conservative attire.

Old biddies wonder if they can get away with wearing a short skirt, and old codgers wonder if people will make fun of them if they wear skinny jeans.

The Burger King cashier is not puzzled by your retro clothes, but rather because he wonders if you will last until your burger and fries are ready.  

Boomers should forget about societal expectations and just wear whatever makes them feel comfortable. People rarely pay attention to how older folks dress. You can wear pajamas with the fly open, a sombrero and combat boots, and nobody will bat an eye.

 The fashion police are trained to ignore everyone under thirty, you might as well be dead to these fashionistas. We do not have to show the fashion police no stinking designer labels; we are free to dress however we please.

Boomers can dress like a pimp from a blaxploitation flick from the 70’s, a flapper from the 1920’s, or a hillbilly extra from Hee Haw. Nobody gives a damn what we wear.

‘The Bible Says It, I Believe it, That Settles it’, Say What?

Evangelicals’ bumper sticker theology summarized: “God said it, I believe it, and that settles it.”

Or in the Trump era: “God said it through his orange messiah, I believe it, and his every pronouncement is the law of the land.”

In the 1950’s when more than 90 percent of American adults identified as Christians, if a sanctimonious fool muttered this trite phrase, most people would have responded with a hearty “Amen.”

But in the secular 21st century, when a Christian exclaims, “The Bible says it, I believe it”, it sets them apart as a religious fanatic with a fascist mindset.

When a MAGA fanatic quotes Scripture it is not a theological mic drop, rather it’s an awkward faux pas that stifles debate.

Religious extremists fail to recognize that, beyond their group, the Bible is not seen as an ultimate authority.  The mind-numbing catchphrase should never be uttered outside of a fundamentalist church. This shibboleth is anathema in a secular society, and evangelicals should have the humility, common sense, and sense of propriety to never utter it in public.

Whenever a fanatic prefaces his comments with this war cry, I know they are going to use the Bible to justify homophobia, misogyny, or xenophobia, or some other atrocity.

We need to resurrect the 1990’s slang phrase “Talk to the hand” and extend one’s palm toward extremists whenever they start to recite their favorite religious slogan.

To Hell with Evangelicals, their Jesus, their Bible and their Adopted State of Israel

White evangelicals proclaim that their devotion to their orange messiah is a religious duty centered on protecting Christian influence and advancing an eschatology that will culminate in the rapture of the church. Most Bible thumpers think Trump is without sin and without fault, although a few concede that he does not personally embody traditional Christian virtues. The MAGA cultists rationalize: the Almighty enacts his will through imperfect vessels.  

These religious extremists idolize their orange Jesus, and they hate real Christians who remain faithful to the loving and merciful Jesus of the New Testament.

When evangelicals worship the most corrupt, vain, incompetent, and fascist president in history, mainline Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, and the nonreligious naturally and intuitively deduce that evangelical Christianity is a demonic doctrine from the pit of hell.

It should not be surprising that cultists who adore a president who is a steaming pile of human shit, are also the biggest supporters of the evil and genocidal Zionist state of Israel.

When a religious sect reveres a sociopath and fascist president, and supports the apartheid and racist state of Israel, that is plenty of reason to give them a wide berth as they march straight to hell.

Fuck evangelicals. Fuck their orange Jesus. Fuck their adopted state of Israel. Fuck their twisted interpretation of the Bible.

Act Like a Boomer When Eating and Having Sex

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Life moved at a leisurely pace when boomers were growing up. “Take time to smell the roses” wasn’t a hackneyed phrase for the analog generation; we appreciated simple pleasures unnoticed by the digital generation.

The Tinder generation treats sexual intercourse like a bodily function that is as quick and emotionless as shaking hands or taking a crap. It’s Wham Bam, Thank You Ma’am, Don’t Let the Door Hit You on Your Way Out. After an unhurried round of lovemaking, we relaxed, smoked a cigarette and basked in the afterglow.   

For boomers there was a time and a place for everything, and eating a meal required a table, silverware, napkins and most of all privacy. When we ate in restaurants, we maintained proper decorum, and never burped, talked loudly, or did anything to disturb the other patrons. Dining was so enjoyable a ritual that even nonreligious people sometimes said a blessing.

People today eat everywhere: on public transportation, while driving, talking on the phone, in public buildings (even libraries and churches) and while walking down the street. They’re oblivious to the grease and litter they leave behind, concerned only with stuffing their faces.

Eating and having sex are normal and healthy human functions, but for the love of God act like thinking and caring human beings and not like wild animals.