Jon McNaughton’s Painting of Donald Trump is Crap

Jon McNaughton recently unveiled the latest painting in his Americana series, it depicts Donald Trump standing on a football field clutching a shredded, trampled and grass-stained American flag.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, and I admit that a jingoistic buffoon like Trump is as American as apple pie, and this painting certainly deserves to be part of the artist`s Americana series.

I`ve already seen McNaughton`s painting prominently displayed on the Facebook pages of MAGA true believers. It probably induces wet dreams of a naked Trump holding the American flag and leading a charge against Mexican, Muslims and other riff-raff in these cretins.

But back to the “work of art,” the president is standing on the gridiron, holding a desecrated American flag to his chest with one tiny hand, and holding a rag with his other hand. Only a fuc*ing moron would attempt to remove grass stains with a rag, the artist is as much of an idiot as the president he so clearly idolizes.

Trump has a pensive look on his face, as if he`s thinking it must have been those black sons of bitches who trampled all over this flag.

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Mike Pence Has a Penchant for Planting Holy Kisses on Donald Trump’s Butt

“ has absolutely zero tolerance for Mike Pence kissing Donald Trump`s ass.

After video footage of a Wednesday Cabinet meeting showed the VP giving Trump an inordinate amount of praise, the dictionary took matters into its own hands, delivering a powerful blow to Pence`s ego with a ridiculously sassy, straight-forward tweet.

Retweeting a Washington Post analysis titled `In Cabinet meeting, Pence praises Trump once every 12 seconds for three minutes straight,``s official Twitter account called Pence out, defining his behavior in one word: sycophant.

`There`s a word for a person who would praise someone every 12 seconds. #VP #Pence,` the tweet read, linking out to the sycophant dictionary entry.”


Only a preacher delivering a sermon on Jesus Christ can be excused for praising a man once every 12 seconds.

A man who praises a mere mortal once every 12 seconds during a speech is the very definition of a sycophant, or to put it into words that Donald Trump would understand, an ass-kissing toadie.

I couldn`t praise a giant like John Kennedy or Martin Luther King once every 12 seconds during a speech, who can bring himself to shower a lying sack of shit like Trump with compliments?

Jesus had nothing but words of compassion and kindness for prostitutes and other social outcasts, but he had ringing words of condemnation for hypocritical leaders like the Pharisees.

To use one of Trump`s favorite expressions “believe me” Jesus would call Trump everything but a child of God.

To hell with Pence and his evangelical faith that propels him to praise a loathsome pig, Dictionary.Com is spot on, he is the epitome of a sycophant.

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Oprah Winfrey Donald Trump Death Match: Hopefully They Would Kill Each Other

Donald Trump`s boundless ignorance is matched only by his mind-blowing ego, the perfect representation of the billionaire buffoon would be a blimp covered with an image of an empty suit.

I can think of only one celebrity who is as vapid and egotistical as Trump, and that`s Oprah Winfrey. The talk show diva preaches a New Age Gospel with herself as the Messiah. The perfect symbol of the billionaire braggart would be a blimp filled with flatulence, and an image of a golden calf.

Winfrey has been publicly playing with the idea of running for president in 2020, naturally Trump attacked her on his favorite social media platform, Twitter:

“Just watched a very insecure Oprah Winfrey, who at one point I knew very well, interview a panel of people on 60 Minutes. The questions were biased and slanted, the facts incorrect. Hope Oprah runs so she can be exposed and defeated just like all of the others!”

Winfrey had a mealy-mouthed response to Trump`s savage tweet:

“You don`t win by meeting any kind of negativity head-on.”

This answer is in keeping with Winfrey`s pseudo-spirituality where you don`t attack evil, but engage it with dialogue.

I`m sorry, but you attack evil openly, and I make no secret that I despise Trump`s fascism and racism as much as I despise Winfrey`s New Age bullcrap and hypocrisy.

Winfrey`s social circle included sexual predator Harvey Weinstein, fellow lesbian Hillary Clinton, and real estate developer Donald Trump.

I`ve been advocating for gay and lesbian rights publicly since I first started posting my essays online in 1998, but I despise lesbians like Clinton and Winfrey who are too damn cowardly to come out of the closet, even though practically everybody knows they aren`t heterosexual.

I would pay anything to watch a pay-per-view death match between Winfrey and Trump that resulted in the death of both of these gasbags.

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Outrage: 288-Pound Woman Runs Marathon

“When Ragen Chastain sets a goal, she wants it to be nearly unattainable. Which is how she went from hating running to signing up for a marathon.

`I decided I wanted to try a challenge and jump out of my comfort zone, and distance running had always been the thing that I was worse at in the entire world,` Chastain, 41, a speaker and writer, tells PEOPLE. `So I signed up for a marathon first thing.`

`I was looking around for other plus-size people who had done marathons, and I saw a lot of people who started the marathon but didn`t finish it,` she says. `So I was just really inspired by the idea of being plus-size and finishing the marathon, and the visibility that would create for other people who wanted to try it and thought they couldn`t because of their size.`

After completing a 20-week training program, Chastain successfully (if not painfully) finished the Seattle Marathon.


I applaud Chastain for not accepting the politically-correct orthodoxy that there`s nothing wrong with weighing as much as a baby hippo, and taking steps to lose some weight.

I`m assuming that her intention was to lose weight, but God forbid if her intention was solely to give visibility to fat people.

Baby steps …

How about finishing a 50-yard dash in under five minutes before tackling a marathon?

Instead of “signing up for a marathon first thing,” she should have run to Jenny Craig or to a gym to sign up for a one-year membership.

I doesn’t matter that she completed a 20-week training program before running in the marathon, a 288-pound woman who runs in a marathon is risking a heat stroke, heart attack or stroke.

Chastain is self-centered beyond belief, sure she could have set a world record for a heifer completing a marathon, but did she consider what a eyesore she was to the spectators? Or that if she passed out first responders would have to lift her fat carcass onto a stretcher?

I hope the spectators didn`t enable her vanity by cheering her when she limped over the finish line.

Chastain would be well-advised not to run any more marathons until she drops down to 160 pounds.

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Donald Trump Humiliates Racist Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions Once Again

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III (a moniker befitting a Southern racist), was a United States Senator from Alabama from 1997 to 2017.

In his long tenure in the Senate Sessions uttered many racist remarks, and opposed Civil Rights legislation, but perhaps the most odious stain in his legacy was his early support of Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election.

Sessions was the first Senator to endorse Trump, and he helped legitimize his candidacy. In the Day of Judgement the racist Keebler elf will have a lot to answer to answer for; I don`t envy the racist bastard.

Trump rewarded Sessions by appointing him Attorney General of the United States, the Republican Senator`s dream job.

But Session`s dream job quickly turned into a nightmare when he recused himself from all Department of Justice probes into the 2016 campaign, including looking into Russia`s involvement. Trump blames the appointment of Special Counsel Robert Mueller on Session`s recusal.

The faithful lackey instantly became a pariah in Trump`s eyes, and the president has brutally attacked him on Twitter ever since. Just when you think the beleaguered Attorney General is finally out of the doghouse, Trump publically humiliates him again.

This morning Trump once again publicly berated his own Attorney General tweeting.

“If all of the Russian meddling took place during the Obama administration, right up to January 20th, why aren`t they the subject of investigation? Why didn`t Obama do something about the meddling? Why aren`t the Dem crimes under investigation? Ask Jeff Session!”

The Justice Department isn`t Trump`s private detective agency, and he shouldn`t be publicly urging Sessions to investigate the previous administration.

To add insult to injury Trump misspelled the Attorney General`s name, referring to him as “Session” instead of “Sessions.”

The DOJ hasn`t responded to Trump`s latest Twitter tantrum. I don`t feel a sliver of sympathy for Sessions, he should have known better, Trump has a long history of betraying his closest friends.

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Viral Video! Cat Naps in Front of Busy Escalator!

“It`s the epitome of cat behavior.

An eight-second clip that has been viewed over 1.3 million times on Facebook, shows a feline sitting in front of a busy metro station escalator, unbothered by the inconvenience she is causing riders. The calico kitty sits almost dead center to where people need to exit, seemingly confident that the dozens of people stepping off the escalator will move to accommodate her nap time.

And they do!”


I`ve owned cats all of my adult life, and I learned very quickly to walk very gingerly because they are liable to plop down and take a nap anywhere: Next to your bed, the bathtub, the middle of a hallway …

Felines expect their owners to be aware of their location at all times, and to navigate our way around their home without stepping on their paws or tail.

I`m not surprised that this calico kitty decided to sit in front of a busy subway station escalator, with the full confidence that the commuters would give her a wide berth.

This kitty may not have survived much longer than a New York Minute in an escalator in the Big Apple, but thank goodness all the commuters accommodated her nap time in the busy Istanbul metro station she calls home.

Link to video:

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Did Melania Trump Hire Exorcist to Cleanse White House of Obama and Clinton Demons?

“A hoax circulating on Facebook claims that first lady Melania Trump hired a professional exorcist to cleanse the White House of past demons from the Barack Obama and Bill Clinton years.

`Melania Trump hired exorcist to `cleanse White House of Obama demons,` read the headline on February 8 from Your News Wire.

The story was flagged by Facebook users as being potentially fabricated, as part of the social media`s efforts to combat fake news.

Stephanie Grisham, a spokeswoman for Melania Trump, says any reports claiming the first lady had a ceremony to rid the White House of demons before moving in is false and `not true in any way.`”


Donald Trump and his sycophants relentlessly claim that the mainstream media spreads fake news to downplay the achievements of the Trump administration, in reality it`s right wing web sites that are the foremost purveyors of fake news.

Even the most outlandish and ridiculous fake news item that appears in one of these right wing conspiracy sites soon spreads like wildfire in this alternative universe, and it`s accepted as Gospel by dimwitted white evangelicals.

Melania might hire a dermatologist to lighten her hubby`s orange complexion, a Feng Shui practitioner to bring some harmony to the White House, or an Orthodox priest to bless the White House by sprinkling some holy water (of course she would warn him not to sprinkle any water on the designer furniture), but she would never in a million years hire an exorcist to cleanse the White House of past demons from the Barack Obama and Bill Clinton years.

Although it might be a good idea to hire a professional exorcist to cleanse the White House after one year of the Trump administration. No doubt the short-fingered vulgarian has attracted a legion of demons.

I have no faith in the efficacy of con artist exorcists to cleanse the White House of demons, but hiring one to cleanse the People`s House would be performance art at its most entertaining and educational.

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Banish Fergie From America for Destroying National Anthem! America Will Never Forgive or Forget!

In 2005, the Black Eyes Peas featuring Fergie were performing “Let`s Get It Started” in San Diego when she got things started by peeing all over herself. There was urine running down her legs and a massive urine stain on her crotch that could be seen by her fans in the nosebleed seats.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and the photos of the urine-drenched Fergie spoke volumes of her abject humiliation. Fergie should have retired from show business, and dedicated the rest of her life to washing the diapers of babies in the Third World. But homegirl swallowed her humiliation and kept right on rocking.

I forgave the pop diva even though I can`t stand the Black Eyes Peas, and especially Fergie`s weak rapping skills.

I thought that Fergie would never sink lower than that fateful night in San Diego, but I was wrong, sweet Holy Jesus I was wrong.

Fergie`s idiosyncratic rendition of the National Anthem at Sunday`s NBA All-Star Game was godawful, it`s the miracle that Fergie managed to leave the arena without being mauled by the fans.

The bewilderment and shock was etched in the faces of the basketball players and the fans as Fergie was destroying our beloved National Anthem.

Even Rosanne Barr who until now had delivered worst rendition of the National Anthem was in shock, she tweeted:

“Who saw Fergie`s national anthem performance at the NBA All Star Game? she tweeted. think mine was better lowkey.”

Fergie finally apologized today, telling TMZ:

“I`ve always been honored and proud to perform the national anthem and last night I wanted to try something special for the NBA,” she said. I`m a risk taker artistically, but clearly this rendition didn`t strike the intended tone. I love this country and honestly tried my best.”

Fergie`s apology is too little too late, at the worst she deserves the death penalty, and at the least she deserves to be banished from the United States of America.

I can`t even begin to describe what a mockery Fergie made of the National Anthem, see for yourself.

Tiny Flying Saucer Rediscovered at London Science Museum After 59 Years

“Fragments of a miniature flying saucer from an incident known as the British Roswell have been rediscovered in a cigarette box at London`s Science Museum.

The item was originally discovered on Silpho Moor near Scarborough in 1957. The 16-inch metal disc weighing 22 lbs was reportedly inscribed with hieroglyphics similar to those found on the Roswell incident wreckage in 1947; the most infamous of all supposed UFO discoveries.

The unidentified object was found to contain a book made of 17 thin copper sheets, each covered in more hieroglyphics. Local café owner Philip Longbottom claimed the book translated into a 2,000-word message from an alien called Ullo, warning: You will improve or disappear.

Experts at the Natural History Museum in London quickly decided that the `Silpho UFO` was an elaborate hoax, as there was no evidence that the metal was from elsewhere in the solar system, and the item showed no signs of having passed through Earth`s atmosphere at high temperatures.”

International Business Times

London`s Science Museum would be well-advised to hire a dozen security personnel as UFO nuts will soon descend upon it to venerate the UFO artifact.

The 16-inch metal disc inscribed with hieroglyphics was originally discovered on Silpho Moor near Scarborough in 1957. Hmm, could it be that this mysterious disc was an early prototype of the Wham-O Frisbee, and the “hieroglyphics” were actually copyright symbols?

Experts at the Natural Museum in London quickly dismissed the “Silpho UFO` as an elaborate hoax, but UFO experts will no doubt claim that the tiny flying saucer belongs to a Lilliputian race of aliens from the planet Uranus.

The unidentified object contained a book made of 17 thin copper sheets covered in hieroglyphics. A UFO-loving weirdo claimed the 2,000 word message was a message from an alien warning the human race: Improve or disappear. I`m not an expert on deciphering hieroglyphics, but I would guess the message is actually: There`s a sucker born every minute.

Enough already with this UFO tomfoolery!

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‘Thoughts and Prayers’ My Ass, We Need to Take Action on Gun Violence

“A student from the Florida high school that was the scene of a mass shooting Wednesday called out U.S. President Donald Trump over his offering of `prayers and condolences.`

The student, named Sarah Chadwick, who attends Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, responded to the president`s post on Wednesday evening, in which he wrote: `My prayers and condolences to the families of the victims of the terrible Florida shooting. No child, teacher or anyone else should ever feel unsafe in an American school.`

I don`t want your condolences you fucking price of shit, my friends and teachers were shot. Multiple of my fellow classmates are dead. Do something instead of sending prayers. Prayers won`t fix this. But Gun control will prevent it from happening again.”

Global News

The default response of politicians to natural and man-made disasters is to offer their “thoughts and prayers.” After every school shooting that ends in the slaughter of innocent children, politicians offer their thoughts and prayers, twiddle their thumbs, and avoid taking any concrete action that could prevent such massacres.

If I had a dime for every time a politician extended his thoughts and prayers to a grieving community, I would be a cynical but wealthy man.

With all due respect to people of faith who believe in the efficacy of prayer, fuc* thoughts and prayers, the Almighty expects us to take action against evil.

The only time when thoughts and prayers from politicians isn`t hypocritical and cowardly is when they pray before they debate legislation that will curb gun violence.

Thoughts and prayers emanating from President Donald Trump is especially rich considering the buffoon has thoughts only for himself, and the only time he prays is when he begs God not to let him get caught when he screws a porn star or Playboy model.

Kudos to Sarah Chadwick for calling out Trump on his bullshi*, thoughts and prayers from craven politicians are like salt on a wound. Sarah no doubt welcomes thoughts and prayers from her family and friends, but the only words she wants to hear from Trump is what steps he will take to prevent gun violence.

Sarah spoke in a manner in which the vulgar steaming pile of shi* would understand; her words may offend the tender sensibilities of some but I hope they provoke action on the issue of gun violence.

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