Sarah Huckabee Sanders is the Worst White House Press Secretary in History

“When White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds an official press briefing, time is a precious commodity. May 22: “We`ll keep this short today.” May 17: “Sorry, I`m going to keep going because we`re really tight on time today.” May 7: “Sorry, I`m going to keep moving just because we`re going to get real tight on time here.” May 7 (again): “I`m going to just keep moving because I did it to your colleague.” For a more lively look at the press secretary`s time constraints, please click on the video at the top of this post.

It stands to reason that Sanders may well be watching the clock. Her briefings, after all, have a knack of ending at 20 minutes, or a tick before or after that mark.”

Washington Post

The White House Press Secretary is a senior White House official whose primary responsibility is to act as spokesperson for the executive branch of the United States government administration, especially with regard to the President, senior executives, and policies.

The press secretary is responsible for collecting information about actions and events within the president`s administration and issues the administration`s reactions to developments around the world. The press secretary interacts with the media, and deals with the White House press corps on a daily basis, generally in a daily press briefing.


The White House Press Secretary is a critical position, and he/she works long hours and has many responsibilities, but the most important responsibility is the daily press briefing. It should be noted that during the Trump administration the daily press briefing takes place only two or three times per week.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders has a thankless and exhausting job trying to explain to the press and the American public Trump`s insane tweets and his constantly changing positions on almost every issue.

It`s a vital function of our democracy for the Press Secretary to honestly and thoroughly answer the questions of the White House press corps, and it`s a shame that Sanders rarely answers questions honestly, and she always rushes through the briefing.

She usually opens the briefing by saying “my time is short, and I need to keep things moving,” without explaining why time is short. Sometimes she`ll make the excuse that she needs to attend another White House function, and therefore the briefing will be short.

Excuse me but Sanders can schedule the briefing at a time when it won`t interfere with any other meeting or function she needs to attend. She should show the journalists and the public a little respect, and take her time and answer every question, and allow every reporter follow-up questions.

Every White House Press Secretary, regardless if it`s a Republican or Democratic administration is grilled by the press. A Press Secretary should don asbestos underwear, put on a smile, and engage the press.

If you can`t take the heat get out of the kitchen, and judging my Sanders` perpetual scowl, and her condescending attitude, she`s not cut out for this position.

Sanders` act is growing old, and I hope she resigns or is fired very soon. White House Principal Deputy Press Secretary Rah Shah would make an excellent replacement.

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A Clean Litter Box Makes for a Happy Kitty

“According to The Humane Society of the United States, the general rule of thumb for optimal litter box hygiene is that you clean it about twice per week. Like most general rules of thumb, though, there`s room for variation here. Your particular needs might differ based on how many cats you have, how many litter boxes you have (if you have multiple cats), and what kind of litter you use in them.”


Cats spend most of their time sleeping, and it seems they spend most of their waking hours causing mischief and grooming themselves. Felines operate under the belief that cleanliness is next to godliness, and they clean their entire furry bodies, from their ears to their nether regions.

It shouldn`t come as any surprise that kitties expect their litter boxes to be kept clean. Even people who are complete slobs are irritated when nature calls, and they discover that their spouse didn`t flush the toilet, and there`s a disgusting log floating in the toilet bowl. So you can imagine how mad finicky cats are when their lazy master doesn`t clean the litter box on a regular basis.

The good folks at the Humane Society must be high on catnip, your cats are going to be pissed if you only clean the litter box twice per week.

I have two furballs, one of them tips the scales at 25 pounds, and believe me he craps like it`s going out of style. I clean my litter boxes at least once, sometimes twice per day.

A clean litter box makes for a happy kitty.

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Prosperity Gospel Televangelist Seeks Donations for $54 Million Private Jet

“Jesse Duplantis, the Destrehan-based prosperity gospel televangelist with a global reach, is asking disciples for money to buy a jet that costs $54 million so we can go anywhere in the world in one stop. He seeks the donations in a video posted last week on his ministry`s website.

`I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn`t be riding a donkey,` Duplantis says in the video. `He`d be in an airplane flying all over the world.`”


It`s funny how the Prosperity Gospel works, televangelists travel in private jets, drive around in limousines, and live in mansions, while their followers travel by bus, drive around in old pickups, and live in trailer parks.

This scam artist claims that if Jesus was physically on Earth today he wouldn`t be riding a donkey, but flying all over the world in an airplane. Granted if Jesus were alive today he wouldn`t be riding a donkey, but he wouldn`t be traveling by Learjet either. I suspect Jesus would travel in coach class to minister to people all over the world. In the economy class Jesus would meet the common people who are the most receptive to his Good News.

In 2015 Duplantis appeared on fellow scammer Kenneth Copeland`s television program, and they defended their use of private jets. They argued that commercial planes were full of a “bunch of demons” that bog down their busy schedules with prayer requests.

The “bunch on demons” are the sheep-like followers of these false prophets, who think they have a direct line to God because they are so financially successful.

I have no doubt that Duplantis will raise the $54 million, after all these are the same fuc*ing morons who voted for Donald Trump.

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Trump Bemoans ‘Young and Beautiful’ Lives Destroyed by Russia Probe! Say What?

“President Donald Trump has taken to bashing the ongoing Russia investigation in a whole new way-bemoaning the effect the probe has had on the `young and beautiful lives … with stars in their eyes.`

The odd tweet, written by the president on Sunday, is something of a change of tack from recent messages slamming the probe, which have largely taken aim at Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

`Who`s going to give back the young and beautiful lives (and others) that have been devastated and destroyed by the phony Russia Collusion Witch Hunt?` Trump wrote, although he did not go into details about which beautiful people had been affected by the probe.

`They journeyed down to Washington, D.C., with stars in their eyes and wanting to help our nation…They went back home in tatters!` the tweet added.


Like most of Donald Trump`s tweets this one is absurd, untrue and perplexing, and one day I will kick myself in the ass for wasting so much the analyzing his tweets.

So far Mueller`s team has either indicted or obtained guilty pleas from 19 people and three companies, and none of these people can be described as “young and beautiful.”

George Papadopoulos, 30, and Alex van der Zwaan, 33, are young, but I would hardly characterize either one as “beautiful.”

Most of the individuals ensnared in Mueller`s probe are characters with decades of experience in the black arts of influence peddling and bribing foreign officials. I hardly think the likes of Roger Stone and Paul Manafort joined Trump`s campaign with stars in their eyes, dollar bills maybe.

Ivanka and Jared Kushner can be described as “young and beautiful,” if plastic-looking white devils gets your rocks off, but unfortunately they haven`t gone home yet.

Trump did get one thing right, anyone who joins his administration goes back home with his reputation in tatters.

I can`t wait for the day when Trump is impeached and he returns to Trump Tower with his reputation in tatters.

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Where in the Name of God is Melania?

“Questions around Melania Trumps reported hospitalization for kidney surgery have intensified as it`s been noted by White House reporters and on social media that the first lady hasn`t been seen in public for at least 15 days.

According to the Washington Post, the length of Mrs. Trump`s absence is long even for a woman who`s not known to crave the spotlight.”

The Mercury News

Never mind “Where`s Waldo?,” where in the name of God is Melania?

The First Lady underwent an embolization procedure to treat a benign kidney condition at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on May 14, and she hasn`t been seen since.

Here`s my guesses:

Mayo Clinic

The White House can`t be trusted to tell the truth, maybe the “benign kidney condition” is really a cancerous growth, and she`s undergoing life-saving treatment at the renowned medical center.

Meeting with Mueller

When her no-good husband referred to her as “Melanie” that was the last straw, and homegirl is now spilling the beans to the Special Counsel in a series of top-secret meetings.

Interviewing Divorce Lawyers

Divorcing the President of the United States is a legal and emotional nightmare, and Melania has to interview dozens of lawyers before she chooses the right one.

Digging a Tunnel

That sinkhole was her first attempt at freedom, she`s still busy digging until she`s escaped the swamp that`s the White House.

Meeting with Stormy Daniels

The First Lady is commiserating with the porn star about how rotten Trump is, and at the same time getting tips on how to become an adult movie actress.

Practicing Dancing

Melania can read the writing on the wall, and she knows that her hubby will soon be impeached, and she must prepare for life after being First Lady, and DWTS is a good place to start.


She`s in the Great White North where many patriots have fled from the Trump administration.


Donald Trump has ruined America to the extent that even a nondescript country like Slovenia is a better place.

Who care`s “Where`s Melania?” why can`t Donald Trump disappear into the same black hole?

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In the Age of Trump Does Truth Matter?

“Stephen Colbert took network TV on a rare detour into nihilism on Wednesday night, using Donald Trump`s `spygate` conspiracy theory as a jumping off point for a powerful argument that nothing anyone says or does matters in the slightest anymore. Noting that tweeting What goes around comes around was a bold move for a bully like the president, Colbert called him living proof that karma does not exist, then broadened his scope:

Sorry to break it to you, Hindus! It`s a lawless universe, devoid of hope. The stars blindly run. The leash is off-let`s all go baby-slapping.”


“Spygate” is the false allegation that the FBI had a spy in the Trump campaign for political purposes, in other words to hurt Trump`s electoral chances.

The mundane truth is that an FBI informant met with several Trump campaign advisers in mid-2016 to assess if there were any links between the Trump campaign and Russia.

Only a fabulist would spin a wild conspiracy theory from what amounts to standard operating procedure for the FBI: using a civilian informant in an investigation.

This manufactured scandal is just the latest example of Donald Trump twisting the truth until it resembles a pretzel. Regardless how blatant the lie, Trump gets away with it, and his enablers in Congress and in the media amplify his wild conspiracies.

It`s enough to make a rational person declare, “Nothing anyone says or does matters in the slightest anymore.” Is Colbert right that karma doesn`t exist, and we might as well start slapping babies? Should we all go full-nihilist?

I still believe karma is a bitch, and what goes around comes around, and eventually she will bite you in the ass. Words do matter, the truth does matter, and one day Trump`s words will be used to convict him in a court of law, or impeach him in Congress.

Babies are safe around me, I still believe the truth matters.

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Photos of Scaly Patch on Donald Trump’s Face Scaring the Hell Out of Americans

Donald Trump hasn`t aged well, looking at his face on TV for more than a couple of seconds is as psychologically damaging as it is physically damaging to look at the sun.
Where do I begin? His mouth looks like a sphincter that`s ready to drop a load, his hair looks like cotton candy that sprouts from the head of a demon, his double chin is enough to scare anyone into going on a diet, the white circles around his eyes are grotesque, and his orange complexion makes him look like an Ooompa Loompa who just escaped from hell.

Now there`s a discolored circle on the left side of his hideous face, and it`s giving us the heebie-jeebies. Dermatologists say it`s likely a skin growth called keratosis, but I think it may be a sign that his human mask may be deteriorating.

If Special Counsel Robert Mueller ripped of Trump`s mask and exposed the demon from hell, white evangelicals would still worship the ugly freak as the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Click this link to see Trump`s ugly mug, but don`t blame me if you suffer a heart attack:

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Would You Rent a Drug Sniffing Dog to Raid Your Kid’s Bedroom?

“Would you rent a drug dog to raid your kid`s bedroom? It`s an option now available to Kansas City-area parents, and it`s one some people are choosing to find out if their children are using drugs.

Ray McCarty, founder of Metro K-9 Services, told WRDO that his service is the only of its kind that he`s aware of in the area, allowing users to rent a drug dog by the hour.

McCarty said most parents order their sweep when their kids aren`t home. Some parents merely flush the drugs and never say anything. And McCarty never calls the police.

`It makes them feel better. We aren`t going to say anything because it`s none of our business. We are just there to do a job. We do it, and we leave,` he said.”


The War on Drugs has officially gone to the dogs …

A parent who rents a drug dog to raid his kid`s bedroom has bigger problems than his child possibly using drugs. A parent shouldn`t need a canine to tell him if his kids are on drugs, if an adult has a good relationship with his children he should be able to tell if they are on drugs by changes in their mood, disposition and personality.

For God`s sake don`t turn man`s best friend into a lowlife narc! Talk to your children, spend time with them, love them for God`s sake, and you will be able to tell they`re abusing drugs.

Instead of spending $200 an hour on a drug sniffing dog, spend that money on a trip to an amusement park vacation with your children.

Renting a drug pooch to raid your kid`s bedroom is just a doggone bad idea, period!

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Mike Pence Claims Religion Is Gaining Ground! Wrong It’s Losing Ground Because of Hypocrites Like Him

“Speaking at a commencement ceremony at Hillsdale College in Michigan, Vice President Mike Pence told the graduates that religion in the United States is going strong.

`The percentage of Americans who live out their religion on a weekly basis – praying, going to church, reading and believing in the Bible – has remained remarkably consistent over the decades, even as the population of the United States has grown by leaps and bounds,` Pence said during his May 12 speech. `I mean, think about it, today, relative to the population, four times as many Americans go to church on a regular basis than at the time of our nation`s founding. Religion in America isn`t receding. It`s just the opposite. Faith is gaining new life across America every day.`”


Mike Pence is an evangelical zealot, he constantly invokes his faith in his private conversations and in his speeches. If Pence was a private citizen, it would be perfectly acceptable if he referenced only Christianity when speaking of religion in general at a commencement ceremony.

But Pence isn`t a private citizen, he`s the Vice President of a religiously diverse democracy, and he shouldn`t talk only of “people going to church, and reading and believing in the Bible.” He should also have mentioned the people of faith who attend mosques and temples.

Pence declared that religion in America isn`t receding, and that faith is gaining new life across America. This is a patently false statement, Americans are growing disillusioned with religion, in no small part, because of hypocrites like Pence who claim to be Christians but support legislation that is antithetical to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

A growing number of Americans don`t have any religious affiliation, Millennials in particular have rejected the moribund religions of their parents.

Pence has done irreparable harm to the evangelical brand, by embracing Trump who resembles the Antichrist more than Jesus Christ.

Thanks to Pence and his ilk, faith is general, and evangelical Christianity in particular is losing ground in America every day.

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Kendrick Lamar Calls Out White Girl for Rapping ‘Nigga’ on Stage! He Wrote the Song! Nigga Please!

“Fan backlash is mounting over an incident at a Kendrick Lamar concert, which some are calling a set-up intended to humiliate a fan for publicity.

Lamar was headlining the final night of the Hangout Festival in Gulf Shores, Alabama on Sunday when he invited a white concertgoer named Delaney on stage to sing his song M.A.A.D City alongside him.

Just seconds into the song, Lamar cut the music and scolded the fan for singing the full lyrics of the song, which includes the N-word throughout.

Amid the outrage, some of it directed at Delaney, other fans are wondering if the Pulitzer Prize-winning singer intentionally set out to stir controversy and publicity by inviting a white fan to sing his lyrics.

Daily Mail

Rapper Kendrick Lamar invited a white female concertgoer on stage to rap a song that he wrote, and then he berated her for saying the full lyrics of the song, which includes the word “nigga” throughout.

My reaction: Nigga, please!

By penning a song that is peppered throughout with the ugly racial slur, he is normalizing the toxic word. The hypocrisy is beyond words, rappers complain when radio stations blip out profanity and politically-incorrect words in their songs, but this wanker expects the young white girl to censor herself?

Again my reaction: Nigga, please! Homegirl was keeping it real, she spit out the rhymes just like you wrote them, you freaking wanker!

There`s always the chance that Lamar doesn`t give a damn that the girl said “nigga,” and that he only humiliated her for publicity.

My reaction, one final time: Nigga, please!

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Hillary Clinton for God’s Sake Just Go Away!

“Hillary Clinton has publicly mocked US president Donald Trump by pulling out a Russian hat in the middle of a speech at Yale University.

The president`s former Democrat rival brandished the distinctive Ushanka headgear in an apparent dig at Mr. Trump over the ongoing investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election and possible links between his campaign and the Kremlin.

During Sunday`s speech, Yale alumna Ms. Clinton referred to the university`s tradition of wearing outlandish hats on graduation day – explaining she had decided to join in.”


Hillary Clinton has been in a deep funk since losing the presidential election to Donald Trump. But instead of wandering in the wilderness in sackcloth and ashes, she`s been commiserating with sympathetic elitist audiences.

Once again in a speech to the Yale 2018 graduating class on Sunday, she ruminated over her general election loss:

“No, I`m not over it. I still think about the 2016 election. I still regret the mistakes I made. I still think, though, that understanding what happened in such a weird and wild election in American history will help us defend our democracy in the future.”

Hillary trolled Trump by putting on a Russian hat in the middle of her speech, but frankly there`s nothing funny about her humiliating loss to the fuc*ing moron.

After Hillary and the DNC conspired to cheat Senator Bernie Sanders out of the Democratic nomination, she imagined it would be a cakewalk to the White House. The arrogant elitist didn`t take Trump seriously until it was too late.

I don`t want to see Hillary putting on a Russian hat; I don`t want to hear another lame excuse as to why she lost, I just want her to shut the hell up, and stop sucking all the oxygen. We don`t need to hear one more word from the dinosaur, we need to pay attention to the up and coming stars in the Democratic Party.

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Hasbro Just Trademarked the Scent of Play-Doh

“Hasbro has trademarked the scent of Play-doh.

The toy company on Friday announced that the United States Patent and Trademark Office has recognized Play-doh`s distinctive smell with a registered trademark, something rarely issued for a scent.

The Pawtucket, Rhode Island-based toymaker describes it as a “sweet, slightly musky, vanilla fragrance, with slight overtones of cherry, combined with the smell of a salted, wheat-based dough.”

The Play-Doh brand has been around since 1956. Hasbro applied for the scent trademark last year.”

Santa Ynez Valley News

My parents were dirt poor and they couldn`t afford to buy us many toys. In fact, I only had a handful of toys as a child; I was very protective of my Frisbee, yo-yo, roller skates, Jacks and Play-Doh.

I didn`t have a very happy childhood, but the scent of Play-Doh is evocative of the precious few carefree moments I enjoyed as a child.

My squabbling siblings, and my neurotic mom would fade into the background as I lost myself creating a world of perfect blue children and sweet and loving off-white parents.

By patenting the distinctive scent of Play-Doh Hasbro is patenting the sweet essence of childhood.

In my version of heaven the streets aren`t going to be paved with gold, but with Play-Doh, and the fragrance that permeates heaven won`t be Myrrh or roses, but Play-Doh.

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Donald Trump Faked Phone Call to Brag About Book Sales

“Pete Davidson, the SNL comedian with the compelling theory that Donald Trump doesn`t know how to read, has shared another wonderful anecdote about Trump`s unfortunate hosting gig in 2015. In an interview with Open Late`s Peter Rosenberg, Davidson said that Trump, for no apparent reason, `faked a phone call` during a table read. Answering his imaginary phone call, Trump said without any pause, `Fantastic, okay great.`

`Then he hung up,` Davidson continued, and he goes, `Hey everybody, my book just went No. 1.` What a charmer.”


Long before he became president Donald Trump surrounded himself with celebrities from the worlds of sports and entertainment.

Trump treats politicians, businessmen and common people with contempt, but he`s always tried to ingratiate himself with celebs. Let`s not forget that trying to impress D-List celeb Billy Bush almost derailed his presidential campaign.

I`m not surprised that during Trump`s presidential campaign he tried to impress the cast of SNL by pretending he received a phone call informing him that his book just reached the top of the bestseller list.

Trump didn`t care that his ruse was so transparent (to this day he doesn`t care that his lies are so blatantly false), he just couldn`t miss an opportunity to brag to his fellow celebs.

The SNL cast was unimpressed with the narcissistic blowhard, it`s a shame that enough Americans were impressed with the despicable con artist to elect him to the White House.

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Rock Icon Keith Richards Says America Must Get Rid of Donald Trump

“Keith Richards, guitarist for the legendary rock `n roll band the Rolling Stones, said the US should get rid of President Donald Trump — and recalled when he said he did the same during a 1989 tour by wielding a knife.

The rock icon told the BBC Trump was their promoter for an Atlantic City show in 1989, and recalled going red with anger when the future President`s name took top billing for their show as `Donald Trump presents the Rolling Stones.`

`I got out my trusty blade, stuck it in the table and said: `You have to get rid of this man,` Richards said. He continued, `Now America has to get rid of him. Don`t say I didn`t warn you.`”


In 1989 Keith Richards already had 25 years of drug and alcohol abuse under his belt, but he had enough presence of mind to realize that Donald Trump was a toxic narcissistic buffoon who shouldn`t be associated with his concert tour.

Thirty years later the rock `n roll icon has only a couple of hundred functioning brain cells, but he still recognizes Trump as an existential threat to our American democracy.

Trump`s supporters may have a few thousand more functioning brain cells that the legendary guitarist, but they utterly fail to recognize their Messiah as a fuc*ing moron.

Thirty years ago Richards punctuated his disgust for Trump by sticking his beloved knife, that he probably used to cut lines of cocaine, into a table.

We feel Richards, God knows how many lovers of democracy have punched walls, and kicked their TV when Trump`s on the screen.

Richards` music will live forever, I pray and hope that his warning will inspire us to overthrow Trump by any means necessary.

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Try Not to Vomit As You Watch John Travolta Dance with 50 Cent on Stage At Cannes

Curtis James Jackson III, known professionally as 50 Cent, is an actor, entrepreneur, investor and old-ass rapper.

To keep things gangsta real, once a rapper reaches the age of 40, some homeboy should cap his ass if he doesn`t retire.

Fiddy desperately tries to keep relevant in the rap game by starting feuds with other rappers, but the 42-year-old rapper only succeeds in making a clown out of himself.

A video of the dinosaur rapper performing on stage at the Cannes Film Festival with senior citizen John Travolta dancing by his side has gone viral.

People just can`t get enough of the two-bit rapper and the most famous closeted gay in Hollywood making complete fools of themselves.

In his “Saturday Night Fever” days Travolta could really cut the rug, and in his “In Da Club” days 50 Cent could rap like a mofo, but today these decrepit entertainers shouldn`t be allowed on stage.

Link to video:

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Oldest Living Person in the World Says Life is a Punishment

“A woman purported to be the oldest living person ever at 128 says she hasn`t lived a single happy day in her life and her longevity is a punishment.

The Russian government claims Koku Istambulova is the world`s oldest person.

But she has bluntly said her longevity was God`s will and she did nothing to make it happen.

While some people chalk it up to a healthy or active lifestyle, tired Koku said: `I have no idea how I lived until now.`

Due to turn 129 in two weeks, she added: `I have not had a single happy day in my life.`”


Usually when a sweet old lady reaches a milestone birthday, it`s presented as a “good news” story, and a photo of a smiling centenarian (probably a stock photo) accompanies the article.

The woman is quoted attributing her longevity to prayer, a healthy diet, or good genes. Inevitably she thanks God for a long life, and wishes she could stick around for a decade longer.

Koku Istambulova don`t play that, homegirl keeps it real. The world`s oldest living person claims she hasn`t had a happy day in her life. She says she`s tired, and has no idea how she`s lived so long.

I can`t begin to imagine the horror of living to the age of 128; I would be begging the Good Lord or the Grim Reaper to put me out of my misery.

It`s not my intention to sound cruel, but I hope Istambulova doesn`t live one day longer in this wretched world.

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The Proper Way to Pick Up a Cat! Video!

I have two cats, Ebony an 18-year-old female cat, and Tico a huge male cat who tips the scales at 25 pounds. I shower my kitties with kisses and hugs, but I never, ever, pick them up.

Ebony is an affectionate furball who loves to cuddle with me when I`m watching TV, but if I try to pick her up she will transform into a beast who is all claws and teeth.

When Ebony was a kitten I picked her up all the time, but when she became a full-grown feline she let me know in no uncertain terms that those days were gone for good.

Tico is a big old affectionate pussy cat, and he won`t turn into a monster if I pick him up. But picking up a 25-pound cat puts too much stress on my back, and I`m not a spring chicken.

The last time I picked up Tico I remember dropping him when he was about three feet from the floor, and the impact was too much for him and he sat motionless for about a minute. I vowed, right then and there, never to pick him up again.

Here`s a video demonstrating the proper way to pick up a cat, for kitty lovers who don`t have psycho cats or cats that weigh as much as a baby hippo:

Pooch Raised by Chinese Family for Two Years Turns Out to be a Black Bear

“When Su Yun bought her family a puppy two years ago, she was surprised by how much the dog ate. “A box of fruits and two buckets of noodles every day,” she told Chinese media.

There was, it turns out, a reason for its prodigious appetite: the animal has grown into a 250lb bear.

The family realised their error when the pet did not stop growing and started showing a talent for walking on two legs.”


I`m not surprised that a Chinese family mistook a bear for a dog, after all the average Chinese sees a dog only when it`s packaged as dog meat in a grocery store or as the entrée in a restaurant.

It was only after two years when the animal ballooned to 250 pounds, and started walking on two legs did the clueless family say to themselves, “maybe this thing isn`t a pooch.”

If my dog developed a penchant for walking around on two legs, I would call an exorcist or animal control.

The bear has been taken to a wildlife rescue center after the family called the authorities requesting help.

I hope and pray the family is sentenced a year in a reeducation camp where they will learn the difference between a playful pup and a freaking bear.

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Night Night Donald Trump, You Disgusting Halfwit

Since June 2, 2016 Dan Rebellato, a distinguished professor, has tweeted the following message to Donald Trump, every night, before going to bed:

Night night you disgusting halfwit. xx

You`d expect the renowned playwright and professor of contemporary theatre at Royal Holloway, University of London to publish an article in a literary magazine, replete with footnotes, condemning the short-fingered vulgarian, but when dealing with a disgusting ignoramus a snarky tweet will suffice.

The tweet is a minimalist masterpiece!

It should be noted that the good professor is wishing the septuagenarian buffoon “night night,” not “good night” or “good morning.” It is the nightly message that you deliver to a skinflint grandfather who`d just as soon piss on you as bless you financially. “Night night” is what you mumble to an old fart that you secretly hope will die in his sleep.

Rebellato calls our national disgrace a “disgusting halfwit” to differentiate him from the vast number of halfwits who aren`t disgusting. There are many good-natured halfwits who make us smile with their moronic antics, and silly halfwits who make us grateful that we weren`t last in line when God was passing out brains, and then there are disgusting halfwits who make us doubt the existence of a benevolent deity.

Rebellato`s nightly ritual is a soothing salve to countless of Americans suffering under the Trump regime. As an American I salute Rebellato! You sir are a scholar and a gentleman, and I admire your wit!

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Jim Carrey Taunts ‘Psycho’ Mike Pence

“Actor Jim Carrey shared his latest politically motivated piece of artwork on Friday, this time the Hollywood star`s portrait taking aim at Vice President Mike Pence.

The drawing appears to show Pence dressed in a robe, watching over a fly positioned on his right hand.

`I hope they are watching … They`ll see,` reads the text accompanying text. `They`ll see and they`ll know, and they`ll say, `Why Mike Pence wouldn`t even harm a fly … `”


The quote is from the Alfred Hitchcock classic “Psycho,” a not so subtle hint that our Vice President is a dangerous psycho.

Norman Bates victims were guests of the infamous Bates Motel, but Pence`s victims is the entire population of the United States, especially if he succeeds Trump.

Bates` relationship with his dead mother is the stuff that nightmares are made of, and Pence`s relationship with his wife whom he calls “Mother” is the stuff that gives normal Americans the heebie-jeebies.

Carrey`s artwork is in black and white with the exception of Pence`s piercing green eyes, the eyes of a zealot. Pence is a well-known evangelical zealot, on a mission from God to persecute gays and lesbians, and oppress the poor and disenfranchised.

But when it comes to Psycho Mike Pence politics trumps religion, and he is a political zealot who will debase and humiliate himself in an effort to please his Messiah, Donald Trump.

I hope and pray that Robert Mueller`s investigation will culminate with the impeachment of Trump and Pence. We must not make the mistake of breathing a sigh of relief if Trump is impeached or forced to resign, if Psycho Pence is still in the picture.

Pic of Carrey masterpiece:

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Melania Trump Doesn’t Share a Bedroom With Donald Trump!

Donald and Melania Trump reportedly lead very separate lives within the White House – so much so that the couple do not share a bedroom within 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, according to a recent profile of the first lady in the Washington Post.

But just how unusual is it for first couples to have separate sleeping quarters? Presidential experts tell PEOPLE it`s an arrangement the country hasn`t seen in more than forty years.

First lady scholar Annette Dunlap, author of a biography on President Grover Cleveland`s wife, tells PEOPLE the White House hasn`t seen first couples occupy separate bedrooms since the days of Patricia and Richard Nixon in the early 1970s.”


It`s no surprise that Donald and Melania Trump lead separate lives within the White House, remember she didn`t move into 1900 Pennsylvania Ave. until June 2017.

Can anyone blame the First Lady for not sharing a bedroom with her husband? Ladies, imagine if you can, sleeping in the same bad with the Donald, and waking up to the pervert gabbing your goodies with his freakishly small hands? Or having the Twitter bully wake you up at an ungodly hour in the morning because he couldn`t help himself from firing off a tweet to complain about Comey?

If Donald wants to sleep with his spouse he probably needs to go through Melania`s scheduler, and judging by the way she swats away his repulsive tiny hands in public, I doubt they do the nasty more than once a year.

When Melania moved into the White House she tweeted:

Looking forward to the memories we`ll make in our new home!

I bet they won`t be fond memories! Memories of Trump sitting in the toilet browsing Penthouse to see which nude model he should pursue? Memories of Trump ranting and raving, because he will never be as popular as Obama?

Melania get real, the only way you will make fond memories is if you kick the Orange degenerate to the curb!

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If Your Cat Licks You It Means He Loves You

The average house cat spends about 50 percent of his time grooming himself.

If you own more than one kitty, you know that sometimes they will lick each other. It`s not a sign of dominance but of kinship, if your felines lick each other, I bet they almost never fight.

My furball, Tico, tips the scales at 25 pounds, and sometimes when I`m reclining in the sofa he will jump on top of me and lick my bald head until it shines like a bowling ball.

Even when Tico licks me right after he has groomed his nether regions, I don`t turn away in revulsion because I know it means that he loves me and considers me family.

Some of us have been licked by some very grimey girls, so don`t shove your pussy cat away when he licks you.

Outrage! April Ryan Says Melania Trump Isn’t ‘Culturally American’

“CNN contributor April Ryan was not impressed with Melania Trump`s Be Best campaign, saying that the first lady was not culturally American.

`This is a first lady who is not culturally American, but she is learning the ways,` Ryan told `OutFront` host Erin Burnett on Monday evening of the campaign.

The `Be Best` campaign, which was launched at the White House on Monday, will focus on children, specifically curbing opioid abuse and cyberbullying.

Melania Trump was born in Slovenia and became an American citizen in 2006.”

The Wrap

April Ryan serves as a White House correspondent and is the Washington, D.C., bureau chief for American Urban Radio Networks.

I have tremendous respect for Ryan, she speaks truth to power and she can always be counted on to challenge White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, especially when it comes to issues of race.

But I take issue with her statement that Melania Trump isn`t culturally American. The First Lady is a very private person, and the public, including journalists, know very little about her.

One of the few things we know about her is that she`s not fluent in English, but give the lady a break, she speaks five languages.

Is Ryan implying that people who speak broken English aren`t culturally American? The naturalized Hispanic citizen who mows our lawns, and the naturalized Chinese citizen who dry-cleans our clothes may not speak fluent English fluently but they are just as American as April Ryan.

April Ryan owes Melania Trump an apology, it`s not our proficiency in English but our citizenship that makes us Americans.

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Man Jailed for Beating Mom With a Lightsaber!

“A 42-year-old Pennsylvania man is facing an assault and harassment charges after allegedly beating his mother with a Star Wars light saber, according to court records.

Joan Vargas, 75, told police that her son Andrew had hit her repeatedly with what she called a light saber. Vargas said she was sitting on a dining room chair when her son began striking her with this saber in the head, on her back/neck area and on her wrist.

Andrew Vargas, who lives with his mother, was arrested on misdemeanor assault and harassment charges. He is being held in the Clearfield County jail in lieu of $10,000 bail. Vargas`s rap sheet includes prior convictions for theft, drunk driving, and criminal trespass.”

The Smoking Gun

The 6` 4,” 330-pound Vargas claims that his mother was conking herself over the head with the light saber, and he told the cops that she has many issues.

A 42-year-old man who still lives with his mother and has a collection of light sabers is the one with many issues.

Perhaps if Ms. Vargas had disciplined her son with a switch he wouldn`t have turned into such a cowardly loser.

He is being held in jail in lieu of $10,000 bail, I guess the sap can`t afford a thousand bucks to stay out of jail.

Vargas may be a bear of a man, but even if he was allowed to take his light saber collection with him to jail, he won`t be able to fend off jailbirds from beating him up or worse. Prisoners hate pedophiles and cowards who beat women, he`s going to have a tough time behind bars.

My thoughts and prayers are with Ms. Vargas, it`s a shame that at a time in her life when she should be enjoying her golden years, she`s being harassed by her yellow-bellied snake of a son.

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Disgraced Televangelist Jim Bakker Selling Apocalypse-Proof Condos and $150 Water Bottles

“Jim Bakker slipped out of most people`s collective consciousness after he fell from grace following a sex scandal and his 1989 fraud conviction. But the disgraced televangelist is back, focusing on the apocalypse and urging people to buy both real estate and eye-poppingly expensive extreme survival warfare water bottles from him to prepare.

Bakker, who served five years in prison for 24 counts of wire and mail fraud and conspiracy, is selling cabins in Missouri`s Ozark mountains, telling followers the area (which he calls Morningside) will be `the safest place to live` when the Apocalypse hits. Prices for the cabins weren`t disclosed, but you can rent one for as little as $85 per night right now.”


Most televangelists make a killing selling “pie in the sky,” “Accept Jesus, and give your tithes and offerings to our ministry and God will reward you with a mansion in paradise.” Millions of marks living in trailer parks and subsidized housing respond, and the televangelists live in mansions and fly in Lear Jets thanks to their deluded followers.

Other more savvy religious con artists make an even bigger killing selling nonexistent real estate to their followers. In the 1980`s Jim Bakker sold tens of thousands of “lifetime memberships” entitling buyers to an annual three-night stay at a luxury hotel at Heritage USA. Only one 500-room hotel was ever finished, these morons had a better chance of spending their vacation in their heavenly mansion, than they did at Bakker`s hotel.

In 1988 Bakker was convicted on eight counts of mail fraud, 15 counts of wire fraud and one count of conspiracy. His religious empire came crumbling down, his wife divorced him, and he spent a year in a federal penitentiary.

Bakker resurfaced in 2003, with a new wife and a new show with a viewership only a fraction of what it was during his heyday in the 1980`s. His new shtick is selling freeze-dried food, bottled water and cabins in Missouri`s Ozark mountains where believers can weather the End Times. Bakker is hawking 28 ounce `warfare` water bottles, which he claims filter out contaminants, the idiots who watch his show can buy a half-dozen for $150.

Bakker`s community in the Ozarks in called “Morningside” and its brightly painted indoor town square is dominated by a 15-tall Jesus statue. I don`t have to visit Bakker`s compound to know that the only Jesus you will find there is the hokey giant-ass Jesus.

Who knows what kind of financial shenanigans the disgraced evangelist is committing considering he owes million to the IRS according to Wikipedia. I`m betting that it won`t be long before he`s back in the Big House.

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