Robert Paul Reyes: My Death Wish List for 2017

The Grim Reaper was busy in 2016 culling the best and brightest from the realms of entertainment, sports and politics. The death of icons like Muhammad Ali, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher and John Glenn left a deep void in our culture.

The Grim Reaper never takes a holiday, and he will be busy again in 2017 snuffing out the brightest lights, but I hope he will take out these dim bulbs next year:

The Kardashian Sluts

The Kardashian women are indistinguishable from one another. They all have surgically-enhanced body parts, a penchant for dating black rappers and athletes, and a love for the limelight. They have no talent, and are famous for being famous. Let`s hope and pray they achieve immortality be dying together in a plane crash.

Hillary Clinton

Hillary is a decrepit old hag and she should have died years ago, but her pride and stubbornness will fortify her will into her 90`s. I`m keeping my fingers crossed that a killer clown will dispatch her to hell before she mounts yet another presidential campaign.

Nancy Pelosi

Pelosi is older than Methuselah and as wicked as the devil, if she doesn`t die of Botox poisoning in 2017 there is no God.

Oprah Winfrey

If pride comes before a fall, then it`s high time that Oprah falls straight into the fiery pit of hell.

Katie Couric

The only thing that Couric ever had going for her was her perkiness, but age extinguished her perkiness decades ago, she`s past her expiration date.

Mariah Carey

Carey was one of the brightest stars of the 90`s, but nobody has nostalgia for that forgettable decade, and nobody would miss her if the Grim Reaper dragged her to hell.

Lady Gaga

Her final performance act in 2017 should be ritual suicide on stage.

Nicki Minaj

Barbie? Really? Barbie doesn`t have a grotesquely fat butt! Enough said!

Meryl Streep

Enough is enough! I hope the Grim Reaper takes her out before she`s nominated for yet another award.


That means any feminist who complains that I included only women on my list.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Federal Court Ruling: Cop Can Shoot a Dog if it Barks or Moves When He Enters a Home

“A police officer can shoot a dog if it barks or moves when the officer enters a home, under a new federal court ruling issued this month.
The ruling comes after police in Battle Creek, Michigan, shot two pit bulls while searching a home for evidence of drugs in 2013.”

My dog Mandy is a German Shepherd/Pit Bull mix, she may be physically imposing but whenever I take her for a walk she`s mobbed by the neighborhood children. Mandy has a sweet disposition and she never barks or yelps when the kids pet her, but she does bark when she`s in my backyard and a stranger walks up to my front porch.

Newsflash: Dogs bark, especially when a stranger invades their territory.

Newsflash: Dogs aren`t going to sit still when a stranger is inside their home.

Dogs can sense when their owners are nervous, and they are very protective, of course they are going to bark and move towards a police officer when he enters their home.

A police officer shouldn`t be a Nervous Nellie, he shouldn`t automatically shoot a dog just because he barks and approaches him.

Mandy is a member of my family, and if a police officer shot her just because she barked, I would be devastated.

The judge who ruled in favor of the police officers in this particular case is a moron, and his ruling shouldn`t be interpreted as a blanket ruling for cops across the country.

Read More:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

John Kerry’s Forked Tongue: Video

Secretary of State John Kerry lashed out against Israel on Wednesday for settlement-building, accusing Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of intentionally sabotaging the peace process. The reptilian Secretary of State had the gall to deny that the Obama administration betrayed Israel with the controversial U.N. vote.

I won`t spend any time analyzing Kerry`s anti-Israel screed, in which he devoted most of his time blaming Israel for the stalled peace process, and hardly mentioned Palestinian terrorism, anti-Israel state propaganda, and failure to recognize Israel as a Jewish state.

This article is about the physical appearance of John Kerry, and what it signifies. Many comedians and pundits have mentioned John Kerry`s striking resemblance to Herman Munster, but when I see Kerry I`m not reminded of the lovable Herman Munster, but of a malevolent snake.

During his anti-Israel speech John Kerry`s forked tongue darted in and out of his mouth dozens of times, it was like watching Satan himself delivering a speech.

There has been much controversy over Donald Trump`s pick of Rex Tillerson for Secretary of State, but at least he didn`t select an emissary of Satan.

Watch this video of Kerry`s speech, but I must warn you that you might be tempted to cut off the head of the snake. I won`t be liable for your legal fees.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

What Would a Third Obama Term Look Like?

“Arguing that Americans still subscribe to his vision of progressive change, President Barack Obama asserted in an interview recently he could have succeeded in this year`s election if he was eligible to run.

`I am confident in this vision because I`m confident that if I had run again and articulated it, I think I could`ve mobilized a majority of the American people to rally behind it,` Obama told his former senior adviser David Axelrod in an interview for the The Axe Files podcast, produced by the University of Chicago Institute of Politics and CNN.


In the closing weeks of the 2016 race, President Obama put his prestige and legacy on the line, as he campaigned for Hillary Clinton in critical swing states.

In an unprecedented election season it was unprecedented for on incumbent president to campaign for the candidate he wished to be his successor.

We all know how the story unfolded, with Donald Trump winning, and Hillary Clinton losing in an electoral landslide.

If Obama had been eligible to run for a third term he would have been defeated, it was a change election, an the orange-faced clown would have soundly defeated the biracial Kenyan.

Nevertheless, let`s fantasize what a third Obama administration would look like:

Malia Obama a porn star?

In the last two years of Obama`s 2nd term we witnessed the sad spectacle of Malia playing beer pong, and twerking, smoking pot and exposing her butt at Lollapalooza. Malia is planning on taking off a year before attending Harvard, she would have ample time to explore her slutty tendencies.

Race War?

From the start of his first term Obama demonstrated his his knee-jerk response of always siding with black persons in their interactions with white police officers. Surely we haven`t forgotten the Henry Louis Gates incident? Throughout his two terms in office Obama could always be counted on to side with black lawbreakers, and to blame the police. Obama`s hatred of white people gave birth to the racist BLM movement, and it`s not a stretch to imagine that during a third Obama term race relations would deteriorate to a flat-out race war.

The Destruction of Israel

From his 2009 Cairo speech Obama articulated his pro-Muslim stance, and until his last day in office he never stopped pandering to Islamists. The Iran deal was a disaster for Israel and the free world, and the UN vote against Israel settlements, masterminded by Obama himself, was a betrayal of Israel and a death blow to the peace process. It`s manifest that Obama has an undying hatred of of Israel and the Jewish people, and under a 3rd Obama term there would be a mushroom cloud over Israel.

Nuclear Armageddon

Obama`s reset with the Russian Federation was an unqualified disaster, his sanctions against the patriot Putin, and his meddling in Russia`s backyard would culminate in nuclear war in a third Obama term.

Great Depression

You don`t have to be a rocket scientist or an economics major to discern that the American economy can`t continue to absorb trillions in debt.

Thank God the constitution prohibits a president for running for a 3rd term, even an Oompa Loompa egomaniac can`t do half the damage that Obama would wreak in a 3rd term.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Joe Biden: Hillary Lost Because She Had No Vision

“Democrats are finally beginning to put the blame of the election loss on the one person it belongs: Hillary Clinton. In an interview on Monday, Vice President Joe Biden identified the reason Hillary Clinton`s campaign just couldn`t connect with voters – she had no vision about why she was actually running.”

The Blaze

Some folks are born with a sliver spoon in mouth, Joe Biden was born with his foot in his mouth. Biden`s commentary on the important issues of the day has about as much gravitas as the farts that emanate from his ass.

Biden served a vital role in the Obama administration as the Court Jester, in these trying times we need comic relief.

A broken clock is right twice a day, and even a moron like Biden has insightful comments every once in a blue moon.

Biden placed the blame for Hillary`s humiliating loss squarely on her shoulders, she had no vision and she couldn`t articulate why she was running, other than it was time for a vagina to sit in the Oval Office.

The electorate wasn`t obsessed with breaking the glass ceiling, they cared about vanishing manufacturing jobs, rising taxes and ISIS. Hillary`s message resonated with upper class feminist lesbians, Trump`s “America First” slogan resonated with regular folks.

Biden is an ass, but sometimes the Almighty speaks through an ass, and Democrats would be well-advised to listen to him.

Read More:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Outrage: Donald Trump Receives Standing Ovation at a Christian Church! Video!

“President-elect Donald Trump and future first lady Melania Trump received a standing ovation Christmas Eve when they arrived unannounced at a church service.

Trump attended a Christmas Eve church service at the Episcopal Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea, a historic church just a short drive from his Mar-a-Lago Estate in South Florida.

They sat in the fourth row, with secret service agents seated in the rows in front of him and behind, according to the Palm Beach Post.”

Daily Caller

The President-elect should be treated cordially whenever he makes a public appearance, whether it`s at a sporting event, political rally or a church service.
But for Trump to be greeted with a raucous cheers and a standing ovation at a Christian church is an abomination and an affront to the Almighty.

Trump`s life is the antithesis of Christianity — he embodies the seven deadly sins: Lust, gluttony, greed, laziness, wrath, envy and pride.

Even the devil himself should be welcomed at a Christian church, but to treat Trump like the Messiah is exceedingly unseemly and sacrilegious.

It`s manifest, even to a non-religious person, that the Episcopal Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea worships worldly success and celebrity, and not Jesus Christ.

My guess is that the only person this church would welcome more warmly is the Antichrist himself.

Read more:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Seal Terrorizes Australian Town on Christmas

“An Australian couple woke up Christmas morning to find a fur seal doing its best impression of a hood ornament on their car, but residents of the town say this is not the first time a seal has tried to move in to the neighborhood.

Animal control officers in Newstead, a suburb of Tasmania, subdued the seal as it ran from driveway to driveway and car to car through the neighborhood, apparently unsure how to get back to the nearby waterway it came from.”


I wouldn`t be surprised if a dingo wreaked havoc Down Under on a Christmas morning, kidnapping a baby from a living nativity scene, or if kangaroo flash mob attacked shoppers at a mall.

Australians wage a never-ending battle to reclaim their land from the native wildlife, if you visit Australia make sure you are never without a knife worthy of Crocodile Dundee.

But it`s not often that a seal goes wilding in Australia, this seal terrorized Newstead before it was subdued by animal control officers.

Most dangerous job in the world: Animal control officer in Australia.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Deconstructing Donald Trump’s Christmas Tweet

Donald Trump wished his Twitter followers “Merry Christmas” on Sunday morning with a photograph depicting him walking past a Christmas tree, with his tiny fist raised and clenched.

Trump should have tempered his celebratory mood and not raised his diminutive fist in victory, his pathetically small hand defaces the image.

Trump couldn`t even take the time to pose for a professional Christmas family photograph — nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a lazy screencap.

Why feature himself walking past the Christmas tree, it`s as if he wants to leave the Christmas spirit of peace, love and brotherhood behind, and focus on dividing the country.

Where on Earth are his wife Melania, his beautiful daughters, and his sons? Christmas is all about family, a Christmas family photo with just the father is like a nativity scene without Baby Jesus.

This Christmas tweet from Trump infuriates me, I hope Santa shovels coal up his ass, I pray Jesus smites him with lightning turning his orange face black, and I hope and pray Krampus bites off his disgusting tiny hand.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

The Naked Truth About Donald Trump

It`s axiomatic that Donald Trump has diminutive hands and by extension a tiny penis.

The Donald brags that he`s well-endowed, but is there anyone who doubts that he would have pulled out his penis during the primary debate when Little Marco implied that he had a tiny pecker, if he was telling the truth?

But enough discussion about Trump`s micro-penis, it turns out that he`s also been lying about his stature. Trump claims he`s 6`3,” but his driver`s license lists him at 6`2.”

Pinocchio`s nose grew whenever he told a lie; if Trump`s Johnson grew an inch every time he fibbed he would be the biggest dick in the world – literally, not just figuratively.

Trump likes to boast about his high IQ, and his staffers have said that he has an IQ of 156. But his grammatically-challenged tweets and his speeches which are written at a 6th grade level suggest otherwise. Snopes.Com labels the claim that Trump has an IQ of 156 as FALSE.

In summary Trump has a short attention span, short temper, dull mind, and a tiny worm. Let`s hope and pray that Trump doesn`t get into a pissing contest with world leaders, and that his fingers will be too tiny to dial the red phone.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Kilt-wearing Santa From Hell Rides a Unicycle in Portland: Video

“An Oregon man was filmed doing his part to keep Portland weird by dressing up as a Scottish Santa and playing flaming bagpipes while riding a unicycle.

Brian Kidd, aka The Unipiper, posted a video to YouTube showing him ringing in the holiday season in a festively eccentric fashion.”


A kilt-wearing Santa riding a unicycle and playing flaming bagpipes is wrong on so many levels.

Only in Portland, a city renowned for its weird vibe, could you get away with pulling this stunt, in any other city this man would have been tarred, feathered and kicked to the curb.

Anyone riding a unicycle is an attention-seeking whore, the kilt and the flaming bagpipes are just overkill.

A Santa wearing a kilt is an abomination; I hope and pray Kidd gets run over by reindeer.

Merry Christmas to my readers in Portland and all over the world!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:


Putin: Statesman and Patriot! Obama: Feckless Hack

“That was how Putin answered a question Friday at his nationally televised annual news conference about whether Russia interfered in the U.S. presidential election in favor of Donald Trump.

The Democrats are losing on all fronts and looking elsewhere for things to blame, he told the nearly 1,400 journalists packed into a Moscow convention hall for the nearly four-hour event. `In my view, this, how shall I say it, degrades their own dignity. You have to know how to lose with dignity.`

The Kremlin leader – who also sent an upbeat letter to Trump last week that the president-elect revealed Friday – pointed out that Republicans had won the House and Senate, as well.

`Did we do that, too?` he asked with a slight grin.”

The Washington Post

The Russian Federation is a diminished superpower, but its nuclear arsenal demands that we take their pronouncements seriously.

The Russian President, Vladi­mir Putin, is a statesman and a patriot who is loved and admired in his own country, and respected and feared throughout the world.

Better a dictator who always has the best interests of his country at heart, than a democratically-elected president who panders to tyrants and doesn`t believe in American Exceptionalism.

When Putin speaks – people listen, and freedom-loving patriots in America listened with glee when the head of the Russian oligarchy lectured American Democrats on the finer points of democracy. Feckless Obama and mirthless Hillary and the rest of the Democrats need to learn how to lose with dignity and humility.

Enough is enough! No more excuses! Hillary didn`t lose because of Putin, WikiLeaks or the FBI director; she lost because she`s a corrupt witch who is despised by the electorate.

As someone who has a fine-tuned sense of the absurd, I have enjoyed watching Putin toy with the effete and ineffectual Obama, but as a patriot it makes my blood boil that we elected a sniveling African to the White House.

Even a clueless clown like Donald Trump on his worst day will do a better job than Obama on his best day.

If we would only change the constitution to allow Putin to run for President of the United States.

Read More:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin: Lovers Together Again!

“Hillary Clinton and top aide Huma Abedin were pictured together on Thursday for the first time since losing the presidential election.

The pair chatted and Abedin smiled as they walked out of Clinton`s office in the Midtown neighborhood of New York City.

They had spent five hours inside the office before Abedin and an unidentified woman walked Clinton to a waiting vehicle and sent her on her way with a box of documents.” Daily Mail

Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin emerged from their five hour “conference” with lipstick smeared, hair disheveled and clothing ruffled. Not really, Hillary is more discrete than her philandering spouse, she has managed to indulge in countless lesbian affairs without sparking controversy or outrage.

I`m not an expert on lesbian love talk, but I imagine that Hillary`s first words to Huma were: I wish I knew how to quit you! Since Hillary`s humiliating defeat she has kept her distance from her longtime aide/lover, it`s not surprising that their first meeting in weeks lasting five hours.

It appears that Hillary has forgiven Huma for not safeguarding her emails from her pedophile husband. Hillary will never again be a viable presidential candidate, she might as well come out of the closet, and publicly declare her undying love for Huma.

In a perfect world Hillary would embrace her lesbian identity and devote the rest of her life, with Huma by her side, advocating for gay and lesbian rights. But in the real world, the old hag will pretend she`s heterosexual until the Grim Reaper drags her to hell.


Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Robert Paul Reyes: My New Year’s Resolutions

Renew my determination to abide by my minimalist credo: Less things, less entanglements.

Pay it forward when I’m the recipient of an unexpected blessing. 

Make a determined effort to love people as much as I love animals. 

Don’t sweat the small stuff, and remember it’s all small stuff. 

Volunteer !

Have a tough skin, and a gentle touch.


Appreciate the simple pleasures like my daily nap with my cat Tico, and my daily walk with my pooch Mandy.

When a song on the radio takes me back to a simpler and happier time in my life, don’t hesitate to lose myself in the moment. 

Write something, anything, every day!


Chinese Truck Driver Covers His Vehicle With His Own Poetry

“A Chinese truck driver classed out his work vehicle by covering it in a high-brow form of decoration — poetry.

A video filmed earlier this month in Chengdu, Sichuan Province, shows the unique way a driver named He Xianwei decorated his work truck.
The driver said the words written all over his truck are 30 poems that he composed while driving.

He said he frequently writes and recites poems and song lyrics while driving, so he decided to publicize his work in the hopes of drawing attention to his writings.”


Great poetry is as rare as a pearl in a cesspool, and the greatest poets find it almost impossible to publish their poetry — there is simply no market for poetry.

But everybody and his autistic mother imagines himself to be a great poet, and there are a gazillion and one self-published poetry books available on Amazon.

The Internet is infested with bad poetry, in fact there is almost as much bad poetry as their is disturbing porn online.

I`m cognizant that it`s almost impossible to browse the Internet for more than an hour without stumbling onto somebody`s poetry Web site, but I always imagined the highways to be a poetry-free zone.

But in China there`s a trucker/poet who has covered his truck with his own poetry. I give all Chinese drivers a wide berth, but I would move to Canada if a Chinese/American in my hometown decided to cover his truck with poetry.

Why is every poet on a mission from God to share his poetry with the world? If you imagine yourself to be a poet, do humankind a favor and instead of posting your poetry online or covering your vehicle with your poetry, self-publish your poetry and sell it online, that way the only ones exposed to your atrocious rhymes will be you and your autistic mother.

Pic of wanker`s truck covered in poems

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Elephant Farts on Friend’s Face: Video

“An elephant at a sanctuary in Thailand took revenge on a pushy comrade by planting her rear-end in the other pachyderm`s face and letting loose a huge fart.

A video posted to YouTube by Elephant News shows Faa Mai, an elephant at the Elephant Nature Park sanctuary in Kuet Chang, climbing on a small hill that was previously claimed by a fellow elephant named Kabu.”

King of the Hill is a children`s game, the object of which is to stay on top of a large hill or pile (or any other designated area) as the `King of the Hill`. Other players attempt to knock the current King off the pile and take their place, thus becoming the new King of the Hill.


“King of the Hill” was my favorite childhood game, I would spend my entire recess playing this game with my friends. I was a puny little kid and I rarely made it to the summit, but when I did my friends let me enjoy the view from the top for a few moments before unceremoniously knocking me down.

In the pachyderm world this innocent children`s game takes a sinister turn as demonstrated by Faa Mai the elephant. The flatulent elephant attempted to secure her perch on top of the hill by letting loose a tremendous fart on the face of a pushy comrade.

Faa Mai`s smelly tactic may have worked, but everybody knows elephants have long memories, and proving that revenge is a dish best served cold Faa Mai may one day discover elephant dung on her meal dish.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia


Autopsy of Hillary Clinton’s Campaign by Robert Paul Reyes

In her 2016 presidential campaign Hillary Clinton surrounded herself with sycophants, big donors, and campaign aides who had stood by her for decades.

When you`re surrounded by enablers who tell you that your feces smells like perfume, your screeching voice sounds like a tape of ambient sounds calculated to lull listeners to sleep, and your seizures are an endearing physical trait, of course you`re going to think you`re invincible.

If the electorate were compromised primarily of feminists, lesbians, and establishment Democrats Hillary would have won in a landslide.

It`s impossible to exaggerate what an overwhelming favorite Hillary was both in her primary fight against Senator Bernie Sanders and in the general election clash against Donald Trump. Hillary was the most formidable non-incumbent front-runner for the White House in modern political history.

Hillary`s hubris led her to underestimate Sander`s appeal from the get-go, and she didn`t take him seriously until he started to win one contest after another. It was only because the Democratic primary system was rigged against Sanders, that she was able to finally prevail against the cranky Socialist Jewish septuagenarian.

A primary that was expected to be a coronation turned into a bruising marathon — exposing the lack of enthusiasm for Hillary, particularly among Millennials, African Americans and Latinos.

Hillary didn`t learn any lessons from her epic battle with Sanders, her pride was intact, and she felt she didn`t need to come up with a comprehensive strategy to defeat Donald Trump. Her campaign message was basically: Donald Trump is a racist clown, and I`m an enlightened progressive with a vagina.

Hilary has blamed FBI director James Comey, Putin, and the leaked Podesta emails for her humiliating loss. But Hillary lost to a billionaire buffoon because she was a weak candidate with a weak message and a weak political strategy of ignoring the blue states of Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania.

The 2016 presidential election doesn`t mean that America embraced the racism and pessimism of Donald Trump, so much as it signifies that we rejected the corruption, pride and status quo inertia of Hillary Clinton.

Trump wasn`t the best candidate we have seen, but arguably Hillary was the worst candidate in modern political history.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Cops Break into Car to Rescue Mannequin That Looked Too Real

“The report to police was deadly serious — an elderly woman apparently frozen to death inside a parked car in Hudson, New York.

Police in the city said they responded to the call Friday morning with an emergency rescue crew. It was cold — around five degrees Fahrenheit — and the car had snow cover and looked like it hadn`t been moved in a while.
Authorities saw an elderly woman in the front passenger seat, police said. She was wearing an oxygen mask. She did not move and was unresponsive.

An officer smashed the rear window, opened the door…and discovered the woman was really a life sized mannequin. The kind that is used in CPR training.”


If a Good Samaritan saw a frozen pooch inside a parked vehicle, he wouldn`t hesitate to smash the window to rescue the poor creature. We are a nation of animal lovers, and we hate to see cats or dogs in distress.

However if you saw an elderly woman who looked like a human popsicle inside a parked car, would you smash the window to rescue her?

A blue-haired old lady isn`t quite as cute and cuddly as a kitten or a puppy, and many people would have moral reservations about interfering with the handiwork of the Grim Reaper.

Kudos to the citizen who called 911, and to the cops who smashed the car window in an attempt to save what they thought was a freezing elderly citizen.

The owner was furious at the police officers for damaging his vehicle, but the rest of us should be happy that in this cold world someone still cares about an old lady freezing to death.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Top Ten Fake News Stories of 2016

Donald Trump Has No Path to Victory

Trump bulldozed a path to victory over Hillary, the mainstream media, billionaire donors, pundits, academia and and the Republican and Democratic establishment.

Obama Was Born in Hawaii

When one of the original birthers, Donald Trump, conceded in September 2016 that Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii, the media immediately proclaimed that the birther movement was dead.The reports of the death of the birther movement are greatly exaggerated. I will not accept that Obama was born in Hawaii until he submits his original birth certificate to document experts for examination.

War on Christmas

There is no organized war on Christmas: The media and corporations embrace and exploit Christmas, nothing drives up ratings and moves products more than jumping on the Christmas bandwagon. Christmas may be dead in secular Europe, but in Christian-dominated America businesses will do anything to pander to Christmas-loving Americans. War on Christmas? Bullcrap! I have Christmas up the wazoo!

Climate Change is Settled Science

There is a special place in hell reserved for Al Gore, Obama and every other peddler of this damn hoax. It`s poetic justice that Gore will experience global warming in hell throughout eternity.

CNN Is Unbiased

The conventional wisdom is that Fox News is conservative, MSNBC leans left and CNN is middle of the road. While it`s true that Fox panders to conservatives, and MSNBC veers sharply to the left, it`s bull that CNN is unbiased. During the presidential campaign CNN was on a mission from God to destroy, defame and ridicule Trump, while their sympathetic and fawning coverage of Hillary made me want to throw up.

Bruce Jenner is a Beautiful Woman

Until Jenner has sex reassignment surgery he`s a man, in the meantime he looks like a grotesque parody of a woman. It`s bad enough that the media wants to brainwash us into accepting that he`s a woman, but they want us to proclaim that he`s a beautiful woman. Screw political correctness and screw Bruce Jenner! The emperor has no clothes, and everyone can see that he has a dick.

Lena Dunham is a Beautiful Woman

Dunham has made a career out of exposing her naked butt on “Girls” ostensibly to promote body acceptance, the truth is that Lena is repulsive, inside and outside, and she`s nothing but a crude exhibitionist.

Islam is a Religion of Peace

There is no hope for anyone who swallows this lie, and I won`t waste any words trying to convince them otherwise.

The Supporters of Donald Trump are Racist

Every major political candidate attracts a fringe element, there are just as many racists who hate white people who supported Obama as there are racists who hate black people who supported Trump.

Pop Music is Dead

Pop music may be on life support, but as long as Adele is still performing and recording albums pop music is still alive.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:


Hipster Nativity Scene Depicts Birth of Jesus Christ in 2016

“A pair of brothers crafted a Hipster Nativity set, depicting a modern version of the birth of Jesus in the manger.

The $130 Nativity set brings the biblical Christmas scene into the 21st century as Joseph and Mary take selfies with the newborn Jesus in a stable with a solar-powered roof, the Three Wisemen on segways bearing packages from Amazon and the shepherd looking at his cell phone.”


The Nativity scene certainly needed to be updated for the 2st century, but why did the brothers include an invention (Segway) that was introduced in 2001 with much fanfare as the replacement for the automobile, but turned out to be a huge sales disappointment?

And why on Earth are there barnyard animals in the updated Nativity set? It`s the 21st century dammit, and cats rule online and in real life. There should be a cat cuddling next to the Baby Jesus.

Speaking of the Baby Jesus, he should be an orange-faced replica of Baby Trump. I`m sorry if I offended anybody`s religious sensibilities, but Trump as Baby Jesus makes as much sense as Trump as Leader of the Free World.

It would have been a nice touch if Baby Jesus had been depicted wearing a “Black Lives Matter” onesie.

All in all a nice job by the brothers, and the hefty price tag is very much 21st century.

Pic of Nativity scene:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Donald Trump Should Appoint Sylvester Stallone to Chair NEA

“Is Sylvester Stallone getting political? Rumors surfaced yesterday that Stallone is being eyed to join Donald Trump`s administration with a high post in the National Endowment for the Arts after a report surfaced in London`s Daily Mail. Sources said that Stallone has indeed been offered, and is mulling it.He is coming off an Oscar nomination for Creed, reprising his signature role of Rocky Balboa, 40 years after getting his first Oscar nom in the Best Picture-winning Rocky. It seems as much a long-shot as Rocky`s ring fortunes, but his former action rival Arnold Schwarzenegger did become California State governor.”


Hollywood is a bastion of liberal orthodoxy, and there`s an endless supply of politically-correct entertainment figures that a Democratic president could choose to chair the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA).

Leave it to Trump to consider the conservative Rambo to lead the NEA. I`m neither a Republican or a conservative, but I think Stallone would be an excellent choice.

I`d rather guzzle beer and munch on popcorn watching a Stallone flick than nibble on cheese and sip wine pretending to enjoy a Meryl Streep movie.

We need a common sense individual, regardless of his political ideology, to head the NEA. I doubt that Stallone would approve of funding an artist who thinks immersing figures representing Jesus Christ and Ronald Reagan in a jar of urine is high art.

Sylvester Stallone is a gifted actor, filmmaker and screenwriter who produces art for the masses, and he has earned the right to be considered to chair the National Endowment for the Arts.

Read More:

Donald Trump Meets Kanye West, Hillary Clinton Meets Fat Joe


Kanye West has a monumental ego, but he made a pilgrimage to Trump Tower to kiss the ring of the biggest pimp in town, Donald J. Trump.

How the mighty have fallen, Hillary on the other hand was posing for a selfie with Fat Joe, a rapper who achieved modest success in the late 90`s.

If Fat Joe attempted to meet Donald Trump, he would be escorted out by Security before he got anywhere near the gold elevator that ascends to Trump`s palatial penthouse.

I doubt Beyonce or Jay Z are returning Hillary`s calls these days, but if she sashayed her fat butt to Trump Tower, the Donald would grab her by the pussy and show her a good time.

The Donald may have 99 problems, but worrying about being politically-correct ain`t one of them.

I hope Trump lets Hillary ride the Trump Tower elevator all the way to the roof, so she can jump off.

Automated Restaurant Opens in NYC

“Imagine going out to eat and never interacting with a server or cashier.  You can do that at a new restaurant in New York City.

Eatsa is an automated restaurant in Midtown Manhattan.  It opened as an East Coast anchor for a small chain that started in California.

There are no cashiers and you order on an iPad or your phone.  The meal appears in a little locker.  Customers tap to open the door for their meal.”

Fox 5

A restaurant without any servers or cashiers, and the human beings are in the kitchen unseen by the customers is the best dining experience I can imagine.

Servers have a penchant for ruining your meal at even the most luxurious dining establishments, they’re  either overbearing asking you every minute if want your coffee refilled or they behave as if you are beneath their concern.

In these financially-trying times not having to add 15 percent tip to your meal is an enticement to eat out.

Easta sounds like heaven on Earth, except for the fact that all the food is vegetarian. An automated restaurant with a juicy burger and delicious fries appearing in a little locker is a fantastic idea.

Easta: A perfect dining option for misanthropes and cheapskates!

Read More:

Cops Allow Police Dog to Bite Naked Unarmed Man!

“The NBC4 I-Team has obtained police body cam video — never before seen publicly — that shows cops allowing a K-9 to bite a naked, unarmed man, including for over 40 seconds after officers had him pinned to the ground.

It took some time for the officers to locate the man hiding in a rustic canyon area surrounded by homes and a high school. Officers believed the man was under the influence of a controlled substance, which the man later admitted to NBC4 was true.

NBC News

The man’s lawyers are accusing the police department of “excessive force”, and I can only hope common sense will prevail if this case goes to trial.

The idiot, a 25-year-old businessman in San Diego for a convention, told reporters that he ended up naked in that canyon after a night of hard partying, and he admitted taking LSD.

The police officers turned the dog loose only after the drugged-up jackass refused to obey instructions. After hours searching for the man in the canyon, the officers should be commended for their restraint, instead of being accused of police brutality. It would have been understandable if the cops had ordered the K-9 officer to go after the suspect’s family jewels.

Keep in mind this naked junkie loser was roaming around in an area near a high school and private residences. This video should be shown in schools as a cautionary tale: This is what happens when you take LSD.

Anybody with a modicum of common sense will agree that a man who parties all night, consuming a smorgasbord of drugs, and who ends up butt-naked near a high school, deserves to be attacked by a police dog.

The druggie wasn’t charged with any crimes, and he still has the audacity to sue the city of San Diego. This out-of-towner believes that he can get high, roam around naked in the beautiful city San Diego, and leave with millions in his pocket. If anybody deserves to be attacked by dogs and the fair citizens of Sand Diego it’s this loser.

Link to video:

It’s Not “He” and “She”, It’s “Ze”! WTF?

“Oxford University is encouraging students to use the gender-neutral pronoun ‘ze’ instead of ‘she and ‘he’.

The students’ union wrote in a leaflet that the move was intended to reduce the risk of transgender students being offended.
 Students hope that the use of ‘ze’ will continue into university lectures and seminars, reported The Sunday Times.

According to Oxford University’s behaviour code, using the wrong pronoun to define a transgender person is an offence.”

Daily Mail

Transgender individuals compromise .03 percent of the population, to invent a gender-neutral pronoun to appease a fraction of the population is patently ridiculous, and yet another example of political -correctness run amok.

Transgenders aren’t a legitimate minority deserving of special protection, they suffer from a psychiatric disorder (gender dysphoria). Should Oxford University students be forced to address people who suffer from multiple personality disorder with the plural pronoun “they.” And should nutjobs who suffer from delusions of grandeur be addressed as “Napoleon”, or whatever historical person they imagine themselves to be?

I could care less if somebody identifies as transgender or gender fluid, but in the real world there are only two genders (male and female) and only two gender specific pronouns (he and she.)

In a prestigious university where political-correctness prevails, and in a mental institution where madness prevails, nobody will look at you strange if you use a gender-neutral pronoun. But in the real world you’d be well-advised to address people as “he” or “she” if you don’t want to get beat to a bloody pulp.

Pastor From Hell Heckles Kids at Mall: There Is No Santa

“Pastor Dave Grisham filmed himself Saturday standing in an Amarillo, Texas mall and heckling children as they waited in line to meet Santa.

He walked up to the line of families waiting to meet Santa and announced: Kids, I want to tell you today that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Santa Claus does not exist.

He continued: The Christmas season is about Jesus. Jesus was born 2,016 years ago. He was born in a manger in a small town called Bethlehem.

‘Don’t lie to your children and tell them there’s such thing as Santa, when you know in reality that there are no flying reindeer, there is no workshop of the North Pole, there is no elves making toys, that you buy all gifts and put them under tree. That’s all the truth!'”

The American Mirror

The Apostle Paul told the congregation at Corinth that they were ambassadors for Christ, an ambassador for the loving Jesus should exercise tact and diplomacy in preaching the Gospel message.

The loud and obnoxious Pastor Grinch succeeded only in turning people away from the Gospel with his self-serving publicity stunt.

How would Grisham like it if an atheist walked into his church while his congregation waited in line to receive communion, and shouted: Jesus died some 2,000 years ago! He didn’t rise from the dead! Stop believing in myths and fables!

Let’s get real, the Christmas season isn’t about Jesus or Santa, it’s about mindless consumerism, greed, and attending Bacchanalian office parties.

I pray that a prophet filled with the holiday spirit will take a giant King James Bible and spank the hell out of Pastor Asshole if he pulls this stunt again.