Imagine if Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels Had a Love Child

Melania Trump isn`t unduly upset about her husband`s numerous dalliances with porn stars and Playboy models, after all a trophy wife keeps her eyes on her husband`s bank accounts, and not on his adulterous relationships.

But the First Lady is reportedly furious that Trump showed Stormy Daniels a picture of baby son Barron right before he poked her with is mushroom-shaped baby penis.

Trump wasn`t going to turn on the lady by showing her his dick pics, the least he could do was to put her in a good mood by showing her photos of his baby.

Can you imagine how furious Melania would have been if the one-night stand between Stormy and the Donald had resulted in a baby?

One wonders what the baby would have been named:

Chlamydia if it`s a girl, and Clappie if it`s a boy?

Baby Toadstool

Poopie

Secret

Bigly Bastard

Thank God a baby wasn`t conceived out of that unholy union, he/she would have been destined to be the Antichrist or a carnival barker.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Karen Pence Refused to Kiss Mike Pence After Trump Won the Election

“Karen Pence, the wife of Vice President Mike Pence, spurned her husband and wouldn`t even say hello to President Trump on Election Day 2016 when it became clear Trump won the White House, a new book about the campaign says.

After Pennsylvania was called for Trump giving him the win, Pence moved to kiss his wife, and she turned away.

`You got what you wanted, Mike. Now leave me alone,` she said, Michael Lewis writes in his book, `The Fifth Risk,` according to an excerpt published in The Guardian on Thursday.”

The New York Post

Karen Pence, hereafter referred to by her pet name “Mother,” is an evangelical Christian who reportedly was disgusted by Trump`s misogynist comments on the “Access Hollywood” tape. Like any evangelical Christian who hasn`t become inebriated on Kool-Aid she finds the president reprehensible.

As the wife of a veteran politician Mother knows that politics makes strange bedfellows, and she wouldn`t be too surprised if she caught her hubby in bed with a 20-something Bernie Sanders bro.

But when Pence agreed to become Trump`s running mate she must have been sick to her stomach. The Bible warns about being unequally yoked with unbelievers, and she must have imagined that the unholy union between her spouse and Trump sealed their damnation.

On election night when it became clear that Trump won the White House, Pence attempted to give Mother a celebratory kiss, but she rudely rebuffed him, saying “You got what you wanted, Mike. Now leave me alone.”

I doubt that Mike has received anything more than a peck on the cheek from Mother the last two years, and she`s probably permanently shuttered her back door, depriving him of the back door action that he craves.

If Mike doesn`t succeed Trump after impeachment or after the end of his term, I`m betting Mother will swiftly divorce him.

Read More:

https://nypost.com/2018/09/27/karen-pence-wouldnt-acknowledge-trump-after-he-won-election-book/

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Donald Trump is a Functional Illiterate

Donald Trump has the grammar skills of a dyslexic fifth grader, and listening to his speeches on a regular basis is guaranteed to knock off twenty points from your IQ.

Trump`s lexicon is as thin as a pamphlet, and it would take an extraterrestrial only a couple of days to learn how to converse with him.

The Stable Genius saturates his conversation with adjectives, but his vocabulary contains only a few adjectives that we have become intimately acquainted with: bigly, huge, beautiful, incredible, and tremendous.

The presidential wordsmith has a penchant for overusing a few annoying phrases: fake news, witch hunt, con job, and his favorite “believe me,” ironic for a pathological liar who is the least believable person in the universe.

The short-fingered vulgarian occasionally utters profanities in public, but by all accounts his private discourse is littered with obscenities. It`s axiomatic that the more grammar-challenged a person is, the more he resorts to vulgarities.

Let me conclude this essay by telling Trump what I think of him in Trumpspeak:

Believe me, you are a fuc*ing moron with a huge propensity for lying and exaggerating. It will be a beautiful day when you are impeached, and removed from office. I can`t wait to christen your grave with golden showers, that will be the most glorious day in history.

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Is Bongo Cat God?

“Move over Peter Criss, there`s a new drummer cat in town: the Bongo Cat, borne of an unassuming animated GIF where a marshmallowy kitten slaps a table in contentment, has pitter-pattered its way into the internet`s heart. Like any number of feline parasites before it, it`s mutated into strange new forms with time, infecting Twitter with a rare case of wholesomeness and plain old good vibrations.

New York`s Brian Feldman celebrated the birth of the Bongo Cat by tracing its path to online superstardom. The source of all this good cheer is a simple, two-frame cartoon animation by artist @StrayRogue, posted all the way back in early May.”

AV News

Bongo Cat is a minimalist masterpiece, videos and gifs of this crudely drawn kitty playing the bongo drums are all over the Internet. It`s no surprise that a cat has accomplished what Kim Kardashian`s fat butt failed to do, namely break the Internet.

If a bong-playing hippy moved next door to me, I would pay a crackhead $10 to beat his head like a drum. But who the hell doesn`t love Bongo Cat, that`s a rhetorical question, he`s the most beloved feline in the history of the Internet.

How can Bongo Cat not be an Internet sensation? Cats are adorable, and drums are cool!

There`s not that many wholesome things on the Internet, and Bongo Cat is wholesome as fuc*! Very few of my essays can be described as “wholesome,” allow me to make amends by posting this video of Bongo Cat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxF_seftPDs

Donald Trump Claims He Wanted the UN to Laugh at His Speech

“After he was laughed at on the world stage in an embarrassing moment on Tuesday, President Donald Trump is now claiming that his boasts to the United Nations General Assembly about his accomplishments in office were meant to get some laughter.

CNN`s Jim Acosta reported on Twitter Tuesday afternoon: Trump on laughter at UN during speech: `Oh it was great. Well that was meant to get some laughter, but it was great.`

The room full of world leaders at the General Assembly Hall rippled with laughter on Tuesday after the president claimed in his signature hyperbolic style that his administration `has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country.`”

People

This is a follow-up to my article: Donald Trump Laughed at by UN for Saying His Administration Has Accomplished Most in History

http://thesop.org/story/20180925/donald-trump-laughed-at-by-un-for-saying-his-administration-has-accomplished-most-in-history.html

The United Nations General Assembly is an august body where world leaders pontificate on serious matters, we vividly remember Colin Powell`s speech in 2003 where he articulated his case for war against Iraq.

The General Assembly isn`t akin to the White House Correspondents` Association Dinner where politicians play at being a late-night comic. Trump himself was deadly serious last year when he spoke before the General Assembly and threatened North Korea.

Trump`s boast that his administration has accomplished more than any other administration in history is a joke, but he wasn`t joking when he uttered the absurdity.

Trump`s boast wasn`t meant to elicit laughter, and you can be sure that he was seething on the inside when world leaders laughed at his remark.

Trump probably reamed his speechwriter, Stephen Miller, for including this line which works great at a campaign rally, but is patently ridiculous spoken anywhere else.

Read More:

https://people.com/politics/donald-trump-wanted-un-laugh-speech/

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Donald Trump Laughed at by UN for Saying His Administration Has Accomplished Most in History

“President Trump on Tuesday strode to the podium at the United Nations General Assembly in New York City to share the extraordinary progress the United States has made during his time in office. The reaction he received from the assembled world leaders wasn`t what he was expecting.

`In less than two years my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country,` Trump proclaimed. There was a smattering of audible laughter from the assembled diplomats, representing 193 countries.

The president paused his prepared remarks.

`So true,` Trump said with a tight-lipped smile, adding: `Didn`t expect that reaction but that`s OK.`

More laughter and applause followed.”

AOL

A Donald Trump campaign rally is as well choreographed as a church service. When Trump wants to pump up the intensity he cries out “Lock Her Up” or “Build the Wall,” and the faithful dutifully repeat the refrain.

At every rally Trump boasts that his administration has accomplished more than any administration in the history of our country, and his devotees burst out in applause.

The president hasn`t locked up Hillary, built the wall, and he`s had precious few accomplishments, but his base lives in an alternate reality where he`s incoherent tweets and racist comments are making America great again.

Perhaps I shouldn`t compare a Trump rally to a church service but to a mass circle jerk, and when the orange messiah declares that his administration has accomplished more than any other administration confetti of orgasmic bliss rains down on the arena.

When the Stable Genius strode to the podium at the United Nations General Assembly in New York City, and made his familiar boast at the very least he expected polite applause. Instead he was greeted with incredulous laughter, because everyone in America outside of his base, and everyone in the world knows he`s a fuc*ing moron.

On the campaign trail Trump would often say that the world is laughing at us referring to Obama`s administration, it`s poetic justice that he was vividly shown that he`s the laughing stock of the civilized world.

Read More:

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/09/25/trump-touts-his-own-achievements-and-the-un-laughs/23541486/

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Detroit Police Officer Fired for Calling Residents ‘Zoo Animals’

“The Detroit Police Department confirmed on Monday that it had fired an officer and opened an investigation into his conduct after a picture he posted to Snapchat with a racially-charged message went viral.

Sean Bostwick, 27, who worked in the 12th Precinct, posted a photo of himself in his uniform with the caption “Another night to Rangel (sic) up these zoo animals.” He posted the photo directly before starting his shift on Sunday.”

Detroit Free Press

Now that this racist pig is going to have a lot of free time on his hands, I suggest he take an adult school class in remedial English. Rangel?

Precinct 12 is on the city`s northwest side bordering the infamous Eight Mile Road, and it`s one of the most dangerous precincts.

What precinct 12 needs are police officers who have a mindset of protecting and serving the community, and that starts by viewing the residents as hardworking people who are trapped in an area where there are no jobs and little hope for the future.

Bostwick considered anyone roaming the streets at night an animal that needed to be wrangled, i.e arrested on any pretext and jailed.

Fortunately, Bostwick was a new hire and still on probation, therefore the police department could summarily fire him.

Pic of racist pig:

https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/detroit/2018/09/24/police-suspension-shapchat/1408153002/

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Eight Reasons Why Sex Robots are Superior to Prostitutes

There`s a big market for sex robots, and robot brothels are opening in cities all over the world, which leads me to ask: are sex robots superior to prostitutes?

There is no such thing as a prostitute with a heart of gold, when a woman is treated as a piece of meat with three orifices for rent her heart shrinks to a hard pebble.

Here are eight reasons why a sex robot is superior to a hooker:

The computer generated moans of a sex robot are more realistic than the fake moans of a bored whore.

A sex robot`s orifices aren`t cesspools of STD`s, after each use the machine can be thoroughly cleansed with bleach. I doubt a prostitute douches and scrubs her love box, or even takes a shower in between customers.

The eyes of a typical working girl resemble the orbs of a dead fish, whereas the twinkle in a sex robot`s eyes will never diminish, as long as the batteries don`t wear out.

A harlot in a brothel will gossip about your shortcomings, but what happens in the room with your sex robot stays in the room.

Intercourse with a lady of the evening has legal and moral implications, whereas sex with a sex robot is simply masturbation. You can walk out of a robot sex brothel like a boy scout who hasn`t broken any laws or cheated on your wife or girlfriend.

If you visit a streetwalker when you`re inebriated there`s a chance she might roll you, but there`s zero chance a sex robot will take advantage of a drunk customer.

A call girl might not be able to suppress a giggle when she sees your manhood, but a sex robot can be programmed to believe that every client is hung like a horse.

A John with a conscience will always wonder if any of the escorts he slept with got pregnant and had his baby. Needless to say you don`t have to worry about getting a sex robot pregnant.

Sex with a human prostitute dehumanizes the woman, and sex with a sex robot dehumanizes the John. My suggestion is to find a loving (human) partner and enjoy a monogamous relationship, and steer clear of sex robots and prostitutes.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Gavin Newsom Compares Donald Trump to Pennywise the Clown

“President Donald Trump on Thursday night slammed California lieutenant governor and Democratic gubernatorial candidate Gavin Newsom, calling him a clown.

`Democrats want to give welfare and free health care to illegal aliens,` Trump said. `How about this clown in California who`s running for governor? He wants open borders and then he wants to give them health care, education, everything.`

Newsom fired back on Twitter by comparing Trump to Pennywise, the terrifying clown in Stephen King`s `It.`:

Interesting description coming from the guy who is literally locking up kids like Pennywise.”

Huffington Post

Donald Trump calling a politician a clown is like Mike Tyson berating a friend for giving his girlfriend a hickey.

When I see Trump with his sphincter-shaped mouth, urine-colored cotton candy hair, and his orange complexion, I think this is what a clown must look like if Satan operated a circus.

Everything about Newsom from his movie star good looks to his eloquence to his command of the issues is the antithesis of a clown, and everything about Trump from his absurd appearance to his incoherent babbling to his ignorance of foreign and domestic policy is the epitome of a clown.

Newsom is spot on in comparing Trump to Pennywise the clown, Trump locks up immigrant children in concentration camps and Pennywise locks up children in the bowels of the Earth.

Pennywise emerges from the gutter every few decades to unleash evil, but hopefully Trump`s first term will be his only opportunity to unleash chaos. I doubt our democracy can survive a second term of Trump`s buffoonery, stupidity and just plain evil.

Read More:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-gavin-newsom-clown_us_5ba4a84ae4b0181540dbc795

Plastic Jesus Vandalizes Donald Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame Star

“There is a doctrine in tort law known as `attractive nuisance` that concerns structures, such as pools, hot tubs, playgrounds, etc. that are attractive to children. The rule of attractive nuisance holds that if a child is injured as a result of using an attractive nuisance, the property owner is liable for such injury, even if the child had no permission to be on the property in the first place.”

Quora.Com

Let my explain the tort law known as “attractive nuisance” in layman terms: If you have a slide in your unfenced front yard, and if a punk kid who doesn`t respect property rights slides down, and the uncoordinated idiot breaks his neck, you are legally liable.

“Donald Trump`s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame got the prison bars treatment … after a familiar prankster pulled off the hilarious stunt.

“The president`s WOF star was locked down after a street artist, who goes by the name Plastic Jesus, attached bars to the star.

Plastic Jesus says he used instant-drying, industrial strength, double-sided sticky tape, which is why he says it took the Trump supporter HOURS to remove them, also to everyone`s delight.”

TMZ

Donald Trump`s Walk of Fame star has been repeatedly vandalized, it`s been spray painted, broken apart by a pickaxe, and shattered by a sledgehammer.

Trump`s star is an attractive nuisance, it`s almost impossible for a patriot who walks by the star not to desecrate the execrable thing.

If I ever visit Hollywood and I see the abomination, and if I don`t have a hammer handy, I will whip out my Johnson and piss on it.

The Walk of Fame is administered by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, and they should be legally liable for the $2,000 that it takes to replace the star after it`s vandalized.

Plastic Jesus should be rewarded with a key to the city by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce for his artistic vandalism.

In fact, I wish Plastic Jesus would run for president in 2020, he would do an infinitely better job than the false Messiah elected by white evangelicals, racists, rednecks and other assorted riff-raff.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

SEPTEMBER 2018 ARCHIVES PAGE TWO:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/september-2018-archives-page-2/

White Evangelical Leaders Want Senate Republicans to Crucify Christine Blasey Ford

“Worried their chance to cement a conservative majority on the Supreme Court could slip away, a growing number of evangelical and anti-abortion leaders are expressing frustration that Senate Republicans and the White House are not protecting Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh more forcefully from a sexual assault allegation and warning that conservative voters may stay home in November if his nomination falls apart.

Several of these leaders, including ones with close ties to the White House and Senate Republicans, are urging Republicans to move forward with a confirmation vote imminently unless the woman who accused Judge Kavanaugh of sexual assault, Christine Blasey Ford, agrees to share her story with the Senate Judiciary Committee within the next few days.”

New York Times

Evangelical leaders haven`t expressed any frustration over the culture of corruption that thrives in the White House. List of cabinet officials under investigation for ethical lapses:

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/15/trump-cabinet-officials-in-ethics-scandals.html


Evangelical leaders haven`t expressed any frustration over the moral depravity of Donald Trump, they give him a mulligan every time he indulges in one of the seven deadly sins.

Evangelical leaders haven`t expressed any frustration over the racist atmosphere in the Trump administration that bears bitter fruit in racist immigration laws.

However these anti-women Pharisees have their panties in a twist because the White House isn`t doing enough, in their estimation, to protect Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh from the credible charge that he attempted to rape a student when he was in high school.

Jesus defended and protected children and social outcasts from powerful religious leaders, evangelical leaders protect powerful corrupt political leaders.
White evangelicals care more about advancing their political agenda than they do about the victims of sexual predators like Donald Trump and Roy Moore.

The woman who accused Judge Kavanaugh of sexual assault, Christine Blasey Ford, should be treated with respect, and that means having her allegations investigated by the FBI before she testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
If white evangelical leaders had their way, she would be stoned to death, so that Senate Republicans can swiftly confirm Judge Kavanaugh.

Read More:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/20/us/politics/brett-kavanaugh-religious-voters.html

Staring at Your Phone Makes Your Dog Sad

“Spending hours staring at your phone is making your dog sad, according to one expert.

When we pay more attention to our phones than to our dogs, we damage our emotional bond, making our dogs feel lonely and isolated. That can lead to doggy depression and behavioural issues.

`If it`s sitting there looking up at you, but you`re too busy gawping at someone`s irrelevant snap on Facebook, you`ve got a problem.

`You do that consistently for weeks, months and years on end and you`re going to get some real behavioural issues.`”

Metro

My cats could care less if I waste the entire day and night staring at my phone, as long as I remember to feed them, and clean their litter boxes.

My pooch, Mandy, is a different story, she stares at me when I`m slouched on the sofa watching TV, when I`m pecking away at my keyboard writing essays, and even when I`m taking a bath.

I occasionally stare back at my muse to let her know that I appreciate her company, and to reassure her that after I complete my daily chores that I will spend some quality time with her.

Canines have an intimate bond with their owners, and if you stare at your cellphone hours on end, completely ignoring your furry friend, you will strain your most important relationship.

I never get so caught up with a movie I`m watching, an essay I`m writing, or a CD I`m listening to, that I forget to occasionally smile at Mandy or pat her on the head.

Most of the interaction that we have with our dogs is non-verbal, and it`s the pat on the head and the smile that sustains and nourishes the love that they have for us.

Pretend your dog is a needy wife or girlfriend, and don`t let more than a few minutes go by without glancing in his direction.

A responsible dog owner will walk his pet, play with him, and never ignore him by staring at his phone for hours on end.

Read More:

https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/18/all-the-hours-you-spend-staring-at-your-phone-are-making-your-dog-sad-warns-expert-7956554/

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Joe Biden: Donald Trump’s Supporters are ‘Dregs of Society’

“Speaking to guests at the Human Rights Campaign dinner on Saturday night, Biden accused President Donald Trump of using the White House as a literal bully pulpit and of being an ally to forces of intolerance.

`Forces of intolerance remain determined to undermine and roll back the progress you have made,` the former vice president warned his audience.

`This time they-not you-have an ally in the White House,` he said.

`They`re a small percentage of the American people, virulent people. Some of them, the dregs of society,` Biden said.”

Newsweek

In September 2016, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was roundly criticized for making the following astute observation:

You know, to just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump`s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right? The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic-you name it. And unfortunately there are people like that. And he has lifted them up.

Clinton was spot on when she opined that you could put half of Trump`s supporters into a basket of racist, sexist, homophobic deplorables, and I would add that you could put the other half into a basket of fucking morons.

After almost two years of Trump`s chaotic and racist rule, his base, roughly 36% of the population, is still strongly behind him.

At this point in time to call Trump`s supporters a basket of deplorables almost sounds like a term of endearment. Joe Biden is spot on, some of them (I would say most of them) are the dregs of society. Screw Trump`s white evangelical supporters who worship an execrable abomination who is is the antithesis of everything that Jesus preached. Screw Trump`s racist supporters who demonize immigrants, and seek to make America white again. Screw Trump`s redneck supporters who want to see women, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen fixing apple pie and fried chicken.

Screw these dregs of society, who are nothing but a speed bump in history as our democracy races to a multi-culture future.

Read More:

https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-jr-says-joe-biden-went-too-far-calling-trump-voters-dregs-1123294

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Mike Pence Evangelical From Hell Will Turn America into a Theocracy

When Indiana Gov. Mike Pence accepted the Republican vice presidential nomination, he declared:

“I`m a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order.”

Since then he has repeated this refrain in interviews and speeches, he has warned us what kind of a president he will be, in the not unlikely event he succeeds Donald Trump prior to 2020.

Most Americans identify as “Christian,” but very few fit Pence`s definition of a Christian. Pence is an evangelical Christian, who doesn`t believe in evolution, women`s rights, human rights or science.

A person can be defined by what he hates: Martin Luther King, Jr hated racial discrimination and social injustice, Mother Teresa hated poverty and human suffering, and Pence hates gays and lesbians, science and educated women.

If Pence becomes president that doesn`t mean that his brand of Christianity will compel him to fight poverty, and seek racial harmony, his interpretation of Christianity will drive him to disenfranchise gays and lesbians, and turn back the clock on women`s rights.

Pence`s faith can`t abide abortion or homosexuality, but it will turn a blind eye to a corrupt and moral degenerate president as long as he continues to appoint far-right judges to the Supreme Court.

Pence is a Christian and a conservative, but he`s not a John McCain type conservative who believes in bipartisanship, and putting the good of the country above party. He`s a Freedom Caucus, Tea Party type conservative, who is willing to let the country go to hell in a handbasket for the sake of ideological purity.

Lastly, Pence is a Republican because that`s the only major party that welcomes Pharisees and scantimonious jerks.

Pence is Vice President because of the support of Paul Manafort, and he`s as complicit as Trump in the Russian collusion scandal, and we must impeach Trump and Pence.

My worst nightmare is Mike Pence being sworn in as president after Trump`s impeachment and declaring: I`m a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

The Weather Channel Meteorologists Are Drama Queens

I tune into the Weather Channel (TWC) once or twice a week for their Local on the 8`s segment that`s devoted to my local weather.

I devote about five minutes per week to the TWC programming, but when there`s a major hurricane threatening the east coast, TWC is Must See TV.

The on air talent on TWC are required to have degrees in meteorology and in theatre arts. Every tropical storm that TWC covers whether it`s a Cat 5 hurricane or only a tropical depression is a storm of biblical proportions. I`m afraid to switch to another channel lest I miss the entire eastern seaboard being flooded.

A TWC meteorologist in Wilmington, NC was caught on video bracing for what appeared to be Cat 5 gale force winds, and then two men appeared on screen casually walking behind the drama queen weather dude.

That dear friends and neighbors is why I watch TWC!

 

Donald Trump Tried to Remove Braille From Trump Tower Elevators

“President Trump in the early 1980s asked an architect to remove Braille from planned residential elevators in Trump Tower in New York, saying blind people would not live there, according to a former longtime executive with the Trump Organization.”

Washington Post

This incident illustrates the moral depravity of Donald Trump. The real estate mogul wanted the Braille markings removed from elevators in Trump Tower because he`s an a-hole plain and simple, not because they offended his aesthetic sensibilities or he considered them a symbol of an out-of-control federal government regulating every aspect of our lives.

Trump has no empathy for the blind or for any disabled person, witness how he mimicked New York Times reporter, Serge F. Kovaleski`s disability.

A normal person sees braille elevator buttons and thinks, “I`m glad someone is looking out for the blind,” Trump thinks, “I hope no blind loser moves into my beautiful building.”

Don`t look for a political motive for Trump`s cruel and heartless policies, such as his zero tolerance immigration policy, he`s simply an a-hole being an a-hole.

Trump is a sociopath, he has no empathy or conscience, and when a sociopath becomes becomes President of the United States millions it`s a disaster, but there`s a political remedy: Impeachment!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Does Your Cat Hate You?

I don`t need to hire a soothsayer or a pet psychologist to determine if my pooch, Mandy loves me. Mandy loves me to death, her love is manifest in her sloppy kisses, wagging of her tail, and the love-struck look in her eyes whenever I`m with her.

Dogs wear their hearts on their sleeves, but you never know where you stand with your feline companions. I love my kitties, Tico and Ebony, but I sometimes wonder if they hate me, and if they`re plotting to kill me. Mind you I`ve had Ebony for 18 years, and Tico for about five years, and I still don`t know if they would miss me if I got run over by a Mack truck.

An expression vaguely resembling love, or at least an absence of hatred, flits across their face, and I rush over to pet them, and they reward me with a hiss or a scratch.

Even though I don`t know if my love is reciprocated, I still adore my cats. I suspect that they really do love me, but have issues expressing their affection.

I am dealing with serious medical issues and I take a nap every day before going to work, and I call Tico, and he always, without fail, snuggles next to my face, and naps with me. If that isn`t love …

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Stormy Daniels Memoir ‘Full Disclosure’ To Be Released Next Month! Who Cares?

“Stormy Daniels announced Wednesday that she has a book coming out Oct. 2 that will detail her alleged sexual encounter with Donald Trump and her life as a stripper and porn star.

`It will blow your minds,` Daniels said about the book – a memoir titled `Full Disclosure.`

She made the announcement on ABC`s `The View` with her attorney, Michael Avenatti.

Daniels said she had been working on the autobiography for about 10 years, focusing on her `adventures` in strip clubs and on the road, traveling from show to show.”

USA Today

I am not going to waste an hour of my life reading the autobiography of a porn star.

Allow me to digress by asking, “Why are all porn actresses described as “porn stars”? Aren`t there any supporting or character actors in the porn industry?

Daniels started stripping while she was still in high school, and she never attended college. Her autobiography will most likely be ghostwritten by a writer with experience penning articles for Penthouse Forum.

Daniels screwed Donald Trump only one time, and by her admission the tryst lasted only a minute. The chapter depicting her one-night stand with the racist pig should be only a couple of pages long, but of course she will fluff the incident and describe every last nauseating detail.

I could give a flying fuc* about the adventures of a stripper/porn star in strip clubs and on the road.

As you can tell by the tone of my article, I don`t perceive Daniels as a star of the Resistance. What she is in fact is a stank ass hoe.

Read my article: Stormy Daniels Isn`t An Icon of Female Empowerment, She`s a Disease-Ridden Skank

http://thesop.org/story/20180311/stormy-daniels-isnt-an-icon-of-female-empowerment-shes-a-diseaseridden-skank.html

With all due respect to Daniels, which amounts to zilch, the only anti-Trump book I plan on reading is Bob Woodward`s “Fear.”

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/09/12/stormy-danielss-new-memoir-detail-alleged-affair-donald-trump/1278884002/

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Donald Trump Still Can’t Believe Alleged Pedophile Roy Moore Lost

“President Donald Trump continues to wonder why Republican Roy Moore – once considered a sure thing to win the U.S. Senate seat from Alabama – lost to Democrat Doug Jones, according to a recent report.

Audio obtained by the New York Times revealed Mick Mulvaney, White House budget director, telling fellow Republicans the president isn`t over Moore`s 2017 Senate loss.

`The president asks me all the time, `Why did Roy Moore lose?` Mulvaney said.”

AL.COM

Donald Trump doesn`t subscribe to any political ideology, before he became president the real estate mogul made campaign contributions to any candidate that could help his business endeavors, regardless of their political affiliation.

Trump ran as a Republican because he correctly discerned that he could ride the GOP anti-immigration wave all the way to the White House.

Trump doesn`t endorse candidates based on their faithfulness to Republican values, he could care less about conservative principles. He endorses candidates who are loyal to him, regardless of their moral character or fealty to traditional Republican dogma.

Trump has the Midas touch, any candidate whom he endorses in the primaries or special elections usually wins.

That`s why to this day Trump can`t believe that a candidate that he endorsed, Roy Moore, lost to a Democrat in the red state of Alabama. In fact, Moore was the first Republican to lose a Senate election in Alabama since Richard Sellers in 1992.

Moore was an alleged pedophile who in his 30`s cruised high schools and shopping malls in search of dates, but Trump feels that his endorsement should have trumped any reservations that Republicans had about voting for a pervert.

Why did Roy Moore lose? For the same reason that Trump will be impeached when Democrats seize control of the House in the midterm elections: Though white evangelicals my worship Trump, regular folks can`t stomach pedophiles, perverts, and sexual predators.

Read More:

https://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2018/09/donald_trump_still_wonders_why.html

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The Sky is Blue, Grass is Green and Donald Trump is a Liar!

“Trump doesn`t lie to be believed, he lies to be repeated. Even fierce opponents can be unwitting viral marketers for his lies. Don`t fall into the trap.”

Jason Sattler, USA Today

Donald Trump`s braggadocios output exceeds that of a rapper or a WWE wrestler. The carny barker exploits every appearance, whether it`s an impromptu press conference or a formal presidential address to brag about his accomplishments.

The Players Ball is an annual gathering of pimps, held in Chicago, Illinois, and every year they crown a “Pimp of the Year.” The Player of the Year will strut on the stage with his hoes following him with their heads down; he will brag about his handsome physique and intelligence, and boast about the obedience and loyalty of his hoes. Pimps Up, Hoes Down is his mantra.

Trump is the Pimp-in Chief, he never misses an opportunity to boast about his greatness, and he loves to hold Cabinet meetings where his staff is forced to laud him with extravagant praise. President Up, Staff Down is his mantra.

Trump is a liar, plain and simple. If his sphincter-shaped mouth is moving, he`s lying.

Trump is a habitual liar, he doesn`t care that his lies strain credulity, and he doesn`t lie to be believed. He lies so that his lies will be retweeted on Twitter, exposed by cable news pundits, and condemned by newspaper opinion writers. He lies so that he will always be the focus of cable news.

Only his base believes him, their default mode is willing suspension of disbelief. They believe every stupidity that emanates from his foul orifice, if Trump declared that there was a blizzard in Los Angeles in the middle of summer, his fans with plans to vacation in LA would pack winter coats and gloves.

Should we simply ignore Trump`s lies, considering his goal is attention, and he actually likes it when we debunk him on social media?

I don`t think so, that would be giving in to cynicism. Everybody from university professors to journalists to bloggers to regular folks should debunk him every time he lies.

It may get boring and tiresome to continue to point out the Emperor isn`t wearing any clothes, but it`s incumbent upon us to denounce the world of alternate truths, subjective reality and simulated reality.

Rest assured that I will continue to call Trump a fuc*ing liar until he`s impeached and removed from office.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Dear God! How I Hate Donald Trump and White Evangelicals

“Perhaps the only subject Donald Trump likes to talk about as much as the almighty self is, well, Almighty God.

Need proof? At a White House `state-like dinner` for evangelical leaders in late August, President Trump spoke about `the glory of God` and the `power of prayer,` while promising that he would ensure America would `forever proudly remain one nation under God.` Trump has even indicated that God probably had a hand in the election, noting that such a victory `would require major help from God … and we got it!`”

Daily Beast

Donald Trump and his white evangelical base have done more to discredit Christianity than secularism or liberalism.

White evangelicals are so despised that a pay-per-view event featuring the likes of Jerry Falwell Jr. and Franklin Graham being fed to the lions would generate monster ratings and profits.

In his careers as a real estate mogul and as a reality star Trump never invoked the Almighty. Religious words weren`t in his lexicon, why even pretend to believe in a deity, when you think the world revolves around you?

But Trump won the election thanks to the unwavering support of white evangelicals, and now he has a penchant for invoking the Almighty to sate his base.

White evangelicals may cream their drawers when their Messiah mentions Jesus Christ, but normal folks recoil in disgust at such a vile and immoral creature waxing religious.

Sarah Palin condemned Obama for “palling around with terrorists,” but Trump pals around with white evangelical leaaders, and that`s infinity worse.

Americans will exact their revenge on the morally degenerate Trump in 2020, or God willing earlier via impeachment. But we won`t forget his enablers, and when sanity is restored and a Democrat is elected to the White House, look out white evangelicals.

We won`t seek Biblical revenge by smiting the bastards hip and thigh, but a Democratic administration will be more inclined to take away their tax exempt status.

Let me speak to white evangelicals in Trump-like fashion. Screw you religious a-holes, you have earned enmity that will last for generations to come.

Read More:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trumps-god-talk-is-turning-america-off-religion

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Mike Pence Didn’t Write the Anonymous New York Times Editorial

In Broadway an understudy is an actor who learns anothers role in order to be able to act as a replacement at short notice.

“Break a leg” is an idiom in theatre used to wish a performer “good luck” in an ironic way, but when an understudy tells the star to “break a leg,” he`s probably as serious as a heart attack.

Vice President John Nance Garner`s famously opined that the office of the Vice President “is not worth a bucket of warm piss.” True enough, but the second in command has two important duties prescribed by the Constitution: to break tie votes in the Senate and to succeed presidents who can`t finish a term in office.

The Vice President is the understudy in the White House, he stands by ready to succeed a president who can`t finish his term in office due to mental or physical incapacitation or impeachment.

My guess is that the two phrases that Mike Pence uses the most often are: “Sir, you look fabulous today” and “break a leg.”

When Pence looks adoringly at Trump when he`s delivering a speech, he`s thinking: Dear God, when will this fuc*ing moron finally do something so outlandish and illegal that Republicans will join Democrats in seeking to impeach him?

Some pundits believe that Pence is the author of the anonymous New York Times` anti-Donald Trump op-ed, which the paper attributed to “a senior official in the Trump administration.” This conspiracy theory is based solely on the fact that the anonymous writer used the arcane word “lodestar,” Pence`s favorite word, after “mother.”

Pence didn`t write the damn editorial, he`s keeping a low profile until he takes over after Trump is impeached. Pence is too busy kissing Trump`s ass to have the time to write an anti-Trump essay.

I hope the real writer puts on his big girl panties, and publicly condemns Donald Trump.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Barack Obama Delivers Full-throated Rebuke of Donald Trump’s Administration

“The night before the 2016 election, Barack Obama said Donald Trump was “uniquely unqualified” on the economy, “temperamentally unfit” on foreign policy, couldn`t be trusted with the nuclear codes and had “utter contempt for the values that make this nation great.”

Friday, the former president took the stage here in a University of Illinois auditorium and said it had been all that and worse.

For all the unprecedented moments Trump`s presidency has brought, Obama`s speech, which kicked off his midterm campaigning, marked a new one: a former president going on the attack directly against his successor-and arguing directly that the man in the Oval Office isn`t just a political opponent, but a threat to the core of America itself.”

Politico

From the Muslim ban to Charlottesville to the separation of families at the border with Mexico, former president Barack Obama followed political protocol and refrained from attacking his successor explicitly.

But Today Obama took the stage in a University of Illinois auditorium and implicitly and explicitly criticized the Trump administration.

Obama was passionate but professorial in his ringing indictment of Donald Trump, and hopefully his young audience took his message to heart, and will vote in the midterm elections, instead of just hashtaging their frustrations.

This is the first of a series of lectures that Obama will deliver until the midterms in November; the juxtaposition between Obama`s professorial style and Trump`s Nutty Professor shtick will impress upon voters that it`s incumbent upon them to vote blue to hold the Trump administration accountable.

It`s encouraging and heartwarming to see Obama get back into the fray. The former president called out the beast by name, and I`m all in on his vision of a blue tide washing away the swamp creatures.

You Go Obama! I`m looking forward to every last one of your speeches!

Read More:

https://www.politico.com/story/2018/09/07/obama-says-trump-has-pushed-america-to-a-pivotal-moment-810650

Donald Trump Takes on Google, He Might As Well Take on God!

“President Donald Trump has renewed his claims of bias against conservatives on the internet, accusing Google of rigging its results to show `bad` stories when users search for “Trump news.”

`Google search results for Trump News shows only the viewing/reporting of Fake News Media`, the president said Tuesday on Twitter.

`In other words, they have it RIGGED, for me & others, so that almost all stories & news is BAD. Fake CNN is prominent. Republican/Conservative & Fair Media is shut out,` he added. `Google & others are suppressing voices of Conservatives.`”

CNN

It`s one thing for Donald Trump to take on the likes of Crazy Joe Biden, Low Energy Jeb and Crooked Hillary, and it`s quite another to take on Google.

Trump has vanquished all of his foes, but you don`t spit in the wind, you don`t pull the mask of that old Lone Ranger, and you don`t mess around with omniscient and omnipotent Google.

I`m grateful that the articles I write for TheSop.Org are picked up by Google News, even though they are lower in the search results than media giants like The New York Times, The Washington Post and CNN.

A user search for “Donald Trump News” or “Donald Trump” yields stories that aren`t complimentary because Trump is the reverse King Midas, everything that he touches turns to crap.

The algorithms that Google uses to rank news stories are guarded more closely than the recipe for Coke or Kentucky Fried Chicken, but the tech giant doesn`t bias search results toward any political ideology.

Al Gore claims to have invented the Internet and Trump probably thinks Google algorithms were named after Al Gore, but Google`s algorithms are scientific not political.

If Trump wants more favorable Google search results, maybe he should stop being such a misogynist racist pig.

Read More:

https://money.cnn.com/2018/08/28/technology/donald-trump-google-rigged/index.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Cat Lady Needs to Get a Clue!

“DEAR JOAN: My cat has started waking me up at 4 a.m. every morning to be fed. She won`t take no for an answer. She walks all over me, swats my nose, meows in my ear and knocks things off my dresser if I don`t respond.

If I try locking her out of my room, she scratches at the door and howls. She won`t stop. She once continued with that behavior for two hours until I finally gave up and fed her.

What can be done to stop this? I love my cat, but 4 in the morning, especially on a weekend, is too much.”

G.G., Concord

The Mercury News

Dear Clueless Cat Lady: Get a clue!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a biological imperative to risk getting run over to discover that was on the other side.

Why is your kitty waking you up at an ungodly hour in the morning to be fed? It`s not because she is a diabetic with cravings that must be sated, like all cats she`s a jerk, plain and simple. I love my cats to death, but I accept that jerk-life behavior is as normal as purring and meowing.

What can be done to stop this? Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! A cat is the master of any home, especially a home where the only occupant is a cat lady. A feline expects nothing less than to be catered to at any hour of the day or night.

Your cat literally walks all over you, get used to it, that`s a small price to pay for having a kitty in your home.

Read More:

https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/09/04/why-does-my-cat-wake-me-up-at-4-a-m-demanding-to-be-fed/