Who Says Trump Doesn’t Have a Dog in the White House? What About Mike Pence?

Donald Trump is the first American president in over 130 years not to have a dog in the White House. However, it could be argued that he doesn`t need a dog when he has his human lapdog, Mike Pence. Like any pooch worth his salt Pence stares adoringly at his master, and the brownish tint to his nose is testament of his subservience and loyalty. Pence loves Trump, his vindictive God and Mother, in that order.

A dog is man`s best friend, a narcissist like Trump doesn`t have any genuine friends, but Pence is the president`s favorite sycophant. I wonder if Trump sometimes lets Pence sleep on his bed to reward him for his loyalty – God knows there`s plenty of room in his bed since Melania never sleeps with him.

Trump doesn`t share the spotlight with anyone, and Pence`s sublimation of ego is complete. Pence is like a dog who is so terrified of his cruel master that he never barks or whines. Pence rarely speaks unless spoken to, and when he does speak it`s to praise his master.

Pence is like a dog, but he`s also like a mannequin. Whenever he`s in the presence of his master, the only muscles that he moves are the ones that activate his subservient smile. If Pence is an anatomically-correct mannequin his anus must be the size of the head of a pin.

The White House staff realizes that Pence doesn`t wield any real power, and nobody has any respect for the spineless Mother-loving yes man. However they treat him with deference because if Trump isn`t impeached before the end of his term the actuarial charts will catch up with the obese buffoon.

In that horrible day Pence will let his freak flag fly high, he will demand that his Cabinet hold a Bible study every day, and he will ban sodomites from serving in his administration. Mother will be venerated like the Virgin Mary, and our democracy will be turned into a theocracy.

Octogenarian Claims He Was Assaulted for Wearing MAGA Hat!

“Prosecutors say an elderly man was assaulted inside a New Jersey supermarket after he was confronted over a Make America Great Again hat he was wearing.

Somerset County Prosecutor Michael Robertson says the 81-year-old Franklin Township man was shopping at the Shop Rite on Elizabeth Avenue Monday afternoon when he was approached regarding his red cap.

The victim was assaulted and sustained minor injuries, according to prosecutors. He declined medical attention at the scene.”

CBS News

Octogenarians are granted a wide latitude in how they dress, they can wear tighty whitey drawers in lieu of a hat and nobody will bat an eye.

But nobody, not even senior citizens, can don a MAGA hat without provoking a visceral reaction.

The MAGA hat is the KKK hood of our generation, and it brands anyone wearing it as a racist.

I don`t condone or advocate violence, but I can certainly understand why a person of color would react violently to a yahoo with a MAGA hat.

I doubt that this old racist was assaulted, when somebody that freaking old is assaulted he`s going to sustain more than just minor injuries, in fact he will probably end up in intensive care.

We must respect our elders, but an old reprobate sporting a MAGA hat deserves a verbal lashing. I implore my readers to refrain from physically attacking an 80-something bigot wearing a MAGA hat, he will be in the hands of the devil soon enough.

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Democracy in Decline at the Hands of Donald Trump and Mike Pence


Nobody was surprised when the opening salvo in Donald Trump`s 2016 presidential campaign was a blatantly racist attack on Mexican immigrants, branding them criminals and rapists.

For decades Trump has fanned the flames of racial controversies, in the 70`s a young Trump and his KKK-loving father were sued over discriminatory rental practices in their New York apartments.

In 1989, after black and Latino teenagers from Harlem were accused of assaulting and raping a white woman in Central Park, Trump spend thousands placing full-page ads in the four daily newspapers in New York City, demanding their execution.

A decade and a half later when their sentences were overturned based on DNA evidence and the confession of the real rapist, Trump refused to apologize.

Trump ran a racist campaign, demonizing Muslims and Hispanic immigrants to appeal to his racist white evangelical base, and his presidency has been marked by racist tweets, comments and policies.

Once again I`m not surprised, very few racists ever have an epiphany.

But I am somewhat surprised by Trump`s anti-gay sentiments and policies since he became president. Trump has been a life-long racist, but as a businessman and as a reality TV star he never expressed any homophobic views. As an entertainer he had contact with many gays and lesbians in the entertainment industry, and he was friendly with many of them.

But when he made common cause with white evangelicals in order to win the presidency he adopted their anti-gay agenda. Hence his choice of the anti-gay bigot Mike Pence as his vice president and the banning of transgender soldiers from the military.

Pence is explicitly anti-LGBTQ, and has been throughout his political career. Pence uses his extreme brand of Christianity to justify his right to discriminate. He quotes scripture to justify treating women and gays and lesbians as second-class citizens.

Trump recognizes Pence as an anal-retentive religious zealot, but he gives his second-in-command free rein to treat gays and lesbians with disdain, because he realizes it solidifies his support with his evangelical base.

Trump and Pence are the most damaging one-two punch democracy has suffered in our lifetimes, and everyone who loves freedom and democracy must devote their lives to the impeachment and removal from office of both of them.

The ‘Enter Through the Donut Shop’ $100 Donut is a Culinary Abomination!

“A Florida doughnut shop is celebrating its grand opening with a $100 doughnut containing 24-karat gold and Cristal champagne.

Bjorn Delacruz, pastry chef at Enter Through the Donut Shop, in Miami Beach, said the Gold Cristal Ube Donut is loaded with luxurious ingredients.

`It`s created from a base of ube, which is a sweet purple yam from the Philippines,` he told WVSN-TV.

`Within the ube mousse we suspend little bits of Cristal gelee, basically Jell-O shots made from Cristal. We cover it with Cristal icing. I airbrush it with some gold, and then I guild it with about with six to nine sheets of edible gold,` he said.


Doughnuts are the staple of Joe the mechanic, Bob the cop and Larry the truck driver; it`s the delicious morning treat that provides nourishment to the working person.

Leave it to a trendy douchebag to commit sacrilege by introducing a $100 doughnut containing 24-karat gold and Cristal champagne. The mere thought of this culinary abomination makes me want to vomit.

Doughnuts and champagne just don`t go together, what I need in the morning to get me going is a doughnut or two and an industrial strength cup of coffee.

The pastry chef at Through the Donut Shop brags about the luxurious ingredients of his $100 doughnut, with all due respect he can stick his ube mousse and edible gold up his wazoo. The only ingredients that a doughnut needs are fried flour and sugar, lots of sugar.

I prefer my doughnuts to be laden with sugar sprinkles, it goes without saying that edible gold is fool`s gold.

When you bite into a $100 doughnut you might remark: I can taste the sweet essence of the sweet purple yam, and the aftertaste of the Cristal gelee is divine!

But when you devour a delicious poor man`s doughnut, you will be so overwhelmed by the fried sugary delight that all you will be able to utter is: mmm donuts!

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Does Trump Suffer From Narcissistic Personality Disorder? is the Pope Catholic?

“Bill Maher believes every news story about President Donald Trump should begin in the same way.

The `Real Time` host said the following phrase – `President Trump, who suffers from a malignant narcissistic personality disorder` – should be written at the beginning of every story in a bid to explain his actions that are subsequently detailed.

Huffington Post

Maher is spot on, if you look up Donald Trump in the index of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders you will find him in the chapter that deals with narcissistic personality disorder.

George Conway, the spouse of top White House aide Kellyanne Conway, and frequent critic of Trump agrees with Maher. He tweeted that “American foreign policy is now driven more by one man`s narcissist personality disorder than by the national interest and rational consideration of intelligence assessments.”

Trump who probably can`t find Montana, let alone North Korea, on a map is such a delusional narcissist that he told South Korean President Moon Jai-in that he is the only person who can solve the North Korea problem.

But a case could also be made that every news story about Donald Trump should begin with the phrase: Pathological liar Donald Trump …

Almost every tweet, speech and press release that emanates from the White House is riddled with lies. Trump wouldn`t know the truth if it shook his tiny hand and bit off his puny presidential pecker.

Some would argue that every article about Donald Trump should begin with the phrase: Serial sexual predator Donald Trump …

Trump thinks with his penis, he has used his status and power as a real estate tycoon, reality TV star and President of the United States to exploit, harass and assault women.

One thing is damn sure, every news story about Trump should include a description of a pathology that explains his words and deeds.

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Pensacola Mourns the death of Moose the East Hill Publix Cat

“The East Hill neighborhood and downtown Pensacola communities are paying respects to Moose the East Hill Publix cat, a cat they considered their own.

Moose`s owners say they found his gray flea collar Tuesday afternoon while visiting the site on Cervantes Street and 11th Avenue where a cat fitting Moose`s description was found dead by an East Hill Publix employee on Sunday morning.

The tabby cat, brightened the lives of Publix customers over the past two years simply by sitting in front of the store and showing affection to strangers.”

Pensacola News Journal

Cats leave a lasting impact on the lives of their owners, and I memorialized by felines Ebony and Patches when they died by posting online obituaries. It`s been almost twenty years since Patches died and I still remember her mischievous nature, her constant meowing, and her penchant for cuddling with me while I was watching TV.

Moose didn`t belong to one owner, he was a fixture in downtown Pensacola, and he is mourned by hundreds who came in contact with him every day. Moose didn`t perform tricks to earn the love of the people who lived or worked in downtown Pensacola, he earned their undying affection simply by sitting in front of the East Hill Public store.

I hope that when I die somebody will send flowers to my funeral or post an online memorial.

Rest in peace Moose, you are sorely missed!

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Melania Trump Has the Gravitas of a Boa Feather


Melania Trump has been keeping a low profile lately, and so I searched her on Google News to find out what she`s been up to lately.

The first lady is a former model, and I guess it`s not surprising that most of the articles referenced her outfits.

Then again, she has the gravitas of a boa feather, and the public doesn`t want to read her views on politics or current events.

One UK tabloid even speculated that Melania was signaling her support for Brexit by wearing outfits made by UK designers.

The fashionista recently wore a $2500 Gabriela Hearst dress that looks like it created from the fabric of a whore house sofa, was she expressing her support for the legalization of prostitution? The colorful dress also looks like a shower curtain, maybe she was just encouraging Americans to take daily showers.

My essays are usually short and concise, since this essay is about the bimbo first lady it`s shorter than normal.

Link to pics of the infamous Garbriela Hearst dress:


We Must Never Forgive or Forget Donald Trump and His Evangelical Enablers

Evangelical Darling

Donald Trump may escape impeachment, and he may even be reelected, but he will unquestionably go down in history as the worst president.

After two years in power Trump has done irreparable harm to our democracy, and he has diminished America`s power and influence in the world.

This too shall pass, and one of the darkest chapters in American history will end, but we must take pains to prevent another racist charlatan from making a mockery of our constitutional democracy.

Almost every educator, politician (of every party), theologian, journalist and historian will agree that the Trump administration has been an unqualified disaster.

But let`s not forget the roughly 40% of the electorate who has remained loyal to Trump through two years of racism, xenophobia, homophobia, misogyny and pathological lying.

Nothing Trump says or does, no matter how egregious and damaging to societal mores or constitutional norms can lessen the fervor that his evangelical base feels for him.

When our long national nightmare finally ends, and a normal president, regardless if he`s a Democrat or Republican, sits in the Oval Office we must not forget the wickedness of the white evangelicals who supported this moral degenerate.

Evangelicals cynically and ludicrously claim they`re persecuted even though they hold the highest positions of power in the Trump administration and Christianity is the most powerful and influential religion in this country.

It would be poetic justice if regular Americans turned on evangelicals and destroyed them hip and thigh, but that`s not the American way.

Evangelicals must pay a price for their treachery and deceit, we must tax their megachurches, expose their money grubbing televangelists, and teach in our public schools how Trump and the evangelicals undermined our democracy.

We must never forget or forgive the scandalous Trump administration, and we must never forget or forgive his sycophantic white evangelical enablers.

Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders Better Not Run for President in 2020

Old Socialist

Of the nine candidates officially running in the Democratic presidential primary, only one is a heterosexual white man. The man who sticks out like a sore thumb in the diverse field of minority and female presidential hopefuls is former Rep. John Delaney. Delaney is as bland and boring as a soggy slice of white bread, and he has zero name recognition outside of his immediate family. Delaney is such a nonentity that he has only four thousand more Twitter followers than this humble blogger.

You might be wondering “where are all the Democratic white male politicians with presidential ambitions”? They are testing the waters, they are either too timid to run, or perhaps they sense that in this election cycle there is no room for them.

The most famous of the Democratic white male politicians who still haven`t declare their candidacy are the three B`s: Beto, Bernie and Biden.

Let`s address the two septuagenarians first: Sen. Bernie Sanders gave Hillary Clinton a run for her money in 2016, but he isn`t a novelty anymore. Almost all of the Democratic candidates have embraced his socialist agenda, and he can`t compete with charismatic liberals like Sen. Kamala Harris and Sen. Cory Booker. Sanders is just a cranky old codger now, propped up by a band of misogynist bros.

Then there`s the former vice president, Joe Biden, but he`s too old, too moderate, too gaffe-prone, and too enamored of little girls. The third time won`t be the charm for this old reprobate, unlike Donald Trump he`s not Teflon-coated, and his campaign would sink before it has a chance to take off.

Former Rep. Beto O`Rourke is the only one with a chance of overcoming the disadvantage of being a heterosexual white male, he`s young, charismatic and liberal.

My advice for Biden is to retire and spend the rest of his days watching the little girls play in the playground, under the supervision of an adult. I would counsel Sanders to atone for the rampant misogyny in his 2016 presidential campaign by remaining in the Senate, and volunteering for women`s rights organizations.

R.E.M Calls Donald Trump an A-hole


“The band R.E.M. has branded Donald Trump an `a**hole` for sharing a video featuring one of their songs, then successfully rallied Twitter and its CEO Jack Dorsey to take it down.

Their fury was reignited when the president shared a fan-made video mocking Democrats on Friday that plays R.E.M.`s hit `Everybody Hurts` in the background.

The parody, created by Youtuber CarpeDonktum, displays Trump delivering his State of the Union address as the camera cuts to the sulking faces of Democrats watching his speech.

`The a**holes @CarpeDonktum created the meme. #PresidentA**hole retweeted it. Measures have been taken to stop it. @jack you need to get on this,` band bassist Mike Mills tweeted on Friday.”

Daily Mail

Mike Mills is spot-on: Donald Trump is a bloody a-hole!

A-hole is an epithet that is frequently used to describe the racist-in-chief; I`ve heard everyone from innocent little kids to cranky old codgers use this expletive to refer to him.

It`s axiomatic that Trump is an a-hole, nobody debates the matter, and even his most fervent (deluded) supporters don`t expend much energy arguing otherwise. They have the mindset: of course he`s an a-hole, but he`s our a-hole.

A-hole is an accurate description of Trump, not only do his policies, language and behavior scream “I`m an a-hole,” but his mouth resembles a sphincter.

Feces emanates from both of the moron`s orifices, fortunately adult diapers captures most of the crap that escapes from his rectum, and unfortunately he`s not wearing a mask or anything else to prevent verbal sewage from spewing from his mouth.

The perfect solution would be for Mike Pence to super glue a butt plug to his rectum, and for Melania to superglue one to his sphincter-shaped mouth.

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February 2019 Archives Page Two: