Month: April 2024

Senile Joe Biden Calls Himself a ‘Grown Man’

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“US President Joe Biden roasted his predecessor and political rival, Donald Trump and poked fun at his age at the annual dinner for Washington’s political and media elites, saying ‘I am a grown man running against a six-year-old’”.

NDTV

In his dig at his rival Donald Trump, President Joe Biden described himself as a “grown man.” When I think of a grown man, I think of a person who is fully developed and mature, both physically and mentally. I picture a middle-aged man with the wisdom and experience to navigate all the pitfalls of his career and private life.

Biden, 81, is not a grown man; he is an enfeebled old man, who is deteriorating an at exponential rate, both physically and mentally. Biden is not a grown man ready mentally and physically to reach the apex of his career. He is a senile, stubborn and silly old codger who should be put out to pasture.

Biden is not running against Trump, his shuffling along at a tentative gait reminiscent of a dead man walking who is too mentally addled to realize that his days are numbered.

The only truth in Biden’s tired joke is that his opponent is a six-year-old, intellectually and temperamentally. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Trump is a freaking idiot, with the vocabulary, intelligence and wisdom of a toddler. When he doesn’t get his way, he has a tantrum befitting a spoiled toddler.

This joke was written for Biden, he no longer has the mental acuity to read and understand the label on his prescription pills, let alone write a joke.

The joke’s is on us, we are screwed regardless which one of these senile old men wins.

Anti Gun Violence Billboard in Lynchburg, VA

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My ageing eyes focus on the traffic ahead of me, and I rarely notice billboards or anything else on the periphery of my vision. But the other day while I was driving down Fort Avenue in Lynchburg, I noticed a billboard in bold lettering:

“Know something about a shooting? Your turn. Gun violence is not a game.”

This billboard with the vaguely menacing message and no accompanying image left an indelible impression on my mind. One cynical interpretation of this stark message is that violence can strike anyone, and it might be our turn next. It can also mean that if we have any information about any violent crime, it’s incumbent upon to “if we see something say something.” In other words, it’s our turn to do something.

When I got home, I did some research and I learned that the billboard was financed by Ceasefire Virginia, an organization seeking to cut down crime in Virginia’s highest-crime cities, which includes Lynchburg.

The fact that Lynchburg has a problem with gun violence comes as no surprise to me, the other day there was a shooting in the Waffle House on Wards Road that I frequently patronize.

Even people who live is small quaint towns like Bedford travel to Lynchburg for employment, recreation, dining or shopping, therefore it’s in the best interests of all us in Central Virginia to lobby our lawmakers to address the issue of gun violence.

Evangelical Pastor John Hagee Urges Congress Not to Deescalate Gaza/Israel War

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The Old Testament prophet Isaiah referred to the coming messiah as “the prince of peace.” Indeed, Christ’s temperament, behavior and message was the embodiment of peace.

If Jesus, who urged his followers to “turn the other cheek”, and to “love their enemies”, returned to Earth he would be a peace ambassador seeking to deescalate wars all over the world.

Pastor John Hagee the most influential Israel lobbyist in America and an evangelical firebrand is the antithesis of the gentle and peace-loving Jesus. With the Middle East on the brink of exploding into World War III, he went to Congress to lobby lawmakers “not to deescalate” but to do something to help Israel.

Hagee wants the Gaza/Israel to spiral out of control, because according to his eschatological interpretation of the Bible that will lead to Armageddon and the Rapture of the church.

Hagee could care less that Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinians, and he could also care less that according to his interpretation of scripture Armageddon will result in the massacre of most Israelis.

Hagee’s apocalyptic sermons inspires his followers to flood him with donations, and that’s all he really cares about.

Why Hasn’t There Been a Major Hollywood Trump Biopic?

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Donald Trump is the most famous, or should I say infamous, person in the world. His name recognition is right up there with Jesus, Santa Claus and the devil himself. So why in God’s name hasn’t there been a biopic depicting his career as a politician since he descended the Trump Tower golden escalator to announce his presidential candidacy?

Trump’s political career has all the ingredients for a Hollywood movie blockbuster: financial shenanigans, criminal indictments, impeachments, unbridled greed, political corruption and sex in all of its deviant variations:  extramarital affairs, golden showers, a dalliance with a porn star, sexual harassment, a protagonist with a mushroom shaped micro-penis and even allegations of rape of a minor.

The Trump life story is a film begging to be made, so why isn’t there a Trump biopic?

To begin with, you just can’t find an actor to play Trump straight out of central casting, he is a one-of-a-kind physical abomination. Pray tell where is a Hollywood casting director going to locate a septuagenarian with raccoon eyes, an orange complexion, a triple chin, a hairdo that resembles cotton candy after Russian hookers have peed on it, a mouth that resembles a sphincter, grotesque doll hands, and a beer belly that looks like it’s ready to explode. The film will require nude scenes, and exactly where can you track down an actor with a mushroom-shaped minuscule pecker.

Also, producers are afraid to make a movie about Trump because of his MAGA followers. They worship Trump as their messiah, and they won’t be pleased without anything else than a hagiography. You think Muslims are upset when the Prophet Mohammad is depicted in an unfavorable light? Imagine if Trump is accurately portrayed as a dangerous sociopath, his supporters would burn down every movie theatre that plays the Trump biopic.

We may have to wait until Trump is dead before a Trump movie is released.

Trump Farted in Courtroom During Hush-Money Trial

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“What I’m hearing from credible sources is that Donald Trump is actually farting in the courtroom… I’m hearing it from actual credible people that as he’s kind of falling asleep, he’s actually passing gas and that his lawyers are really struggling with the smell.”

This quote from Ben Meiselas, the founder of the virulently anti-Trump political action committee Meidas Touch, has gone viral spreading faster than a fart in a room with no ventilation.

This noxious allegation has been debunked by Snopes, the premier fact-checking website, but there may be a whiff of truth in it. After all, it’s widely believed that Trump is incontinent. If the fat pig can’t control his bowels, it stands to reason he can’t stop himself from farting like a loose cannon.

The judge in Trump’s hush money trial has placed him under a gag order, stopping the blowhard with the sphincter-shaped mouth from attacking witnesses in his trial. Unfortunately, the judge is incapable of stopping him from polluting the courtroom with his deadly gas.

Even when Trump is napping, he is still a menace to society, gagging his own lawyers with his indiscriminate flatulence.  

The narcissist sociopath is always tooting his own horn, even when he’s asleep in court he’s still tooting away, poisoning the courtroom with his smelly toots.

Even when he’s unconscious Trump is still poisoning the atmosphere, America won’t be rid of this ill wind until he’s dead and gone.

Trump Falls Asleep in Court with Sphincter-Shaped Mouth Agape

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“Maggie Haberman, a Senior Political Correspondent for the New York Times, reported today to CNN that Trump “appeared to be asleep. His head would fall down… He didn’t pay attention to a note his lawyer passed him. His jaw kept falling on his chest and his mouth kept going slack.”

Los Angeles Magazine

Donald Trump the septuagenarian former president who calls octogenarian President Joe Biden “Sleepy Joe” can’t seem to keep his eyes open in court.

If I was in court for a speeding violation, I would be so ashamed, contrite and nervous that I wouldn’t have any problems keeping my eyes open.

But Trump who is charged with 34 counts of falsifying business records in the first degree, in an attempt to hide hush-money payments to porn star Stormy Daniels is so accustomed to being indicted that he just can’t stay awake in court.

According to Haberman Trump’s jaw kept falling on his chest and his sphincter-shaped mouth was agape. That is such a disturbing pornographic image, that would even keep Stormy awake at night.

I hope that the sketch artists who are present in the courtroom will depict Trump accurately with his sphincter-shaped mouth open and drool oozing down his triple chin.

Maybe at the conclusion of the trial when Trump is found guilty, he’ll finally wake up.

Michele Bachmann: Iran Will be Decimated if it Attacks Israel

“An Iranian attack on Israel is senseless and suicidal for Iran.

Iran will be decimated. Israel will survive and win against any Iranian attack.”

Michele Bachmann

Bachmann isn’t your typical evangelical yahoo perfunctory spouting off against Israel’s chief nemesis, she’s a former congresswoman who served on the House Intelligence Committee and was a former presidential candidate.

But events have proven how wrong Bachmann was, and she would be well advised to keep her geopolitical opinions within her home bible study.

The Iranian attack on Israel was not senseless, it was retaliation for Israel’s April Fool’s attack on the Iranian consulate annex building adjacent to the Iranian embassy in Damascus that killed 16 people, including Brigadier General Mohammad Reza Zahedi and seven other IRGC officers.

An attack on an embassy is considered an attack on the country it represents; it’s an act of war and Iran had no other option than to retaliate directly against Israel.

Israel needed to be humbled, the apartheid state needed to pay a price for committing genocide against the Palestinians.

Iran struck Israel with a swarm of over 300 drones, ballistic and cruise missiles, and Iran has not been decimated. Israel hasn’t yet responded and her chief benefactor, the Unites States, has informed the Jewish state that it doesn’t support miliary retaliation.

Iran is a bigger threat than Israel to stability in the Middle East, but America must not reflexively and unconditionally support Israel. We must criticize Israel when she acts recklessly, and military aid must be conditional.

Rep. Bob Good and Challenger John McGuire are ‘Stains on America’s Underwear’

Donald Trump is such an affront to humanity and such an existential threat to our democracy that he’s often compared to a stinking pile of human excrement.

Instead of recoiling in horror and distancing themselves from the orange sociopath most Republicans think that the only way they can remain viable is by copying Trump’s amoral behavior and inflammatory rhetoric.

In 2020 Republican challenger Bob Good defeated Denver Riggleman, the U.S. representative from Virginia’s 5th congressional district by attacking him for committing the unpardonable sin of officiating at the same-sex wedding of two campaign volunteers.

Since becoming a congressman Good has tried to establish his bona fides as a MAGA zealot by among other things voting to oust GOP Speaker Keven McCarthy and throwing the House into chaos. He is the chairman of the ultra-right House Freedom Caucus.

Good is running for reelection and he is facing a primary challenger from John J. McGuire, an election denier who has pledged fealty to Trump and promised to bring a “Biblical worldview” to Congress.

Good is vulnerable because he made the cardinal sin of endorsing Ron DeSantis in the Republican presidential primary. Although he immediately endorsed Trump after DeSantis withdrew from the race, he forever gained the enmity of Trump and his MAGA supporters.

Riggleman characterized Good and McGuire as “two amoral stains on America’s underwear.” They don’t have the heft and substance of Trump’s pile of dung, they are merely stains on the GOP’s underwear.

Virginia’s 5th congressional district is a safe Republican seat; therefore the winner will be a stain of human excrement.

Trump’s MAGA Rallies End with an Altar Call

An altar call is a tradition in most evangelical churches. After the pastor finishes his sermon, he issues an altar call. While the choir quietly sings an invitational hymn like “Just as I am”, the pastor beseeches his congregation to bow their heads, close their eyes, and pray for the Holy Spirit to harvest souls. The minister will plead with church members to come to the altar to rededicate their lives to Jesus and with unbelievers to walk down the aisle and make a public profession of faith. Even if only one or two souls respond to the altar car, it’s perceived as validation that the Almighty has blessed the service.

Trump’s MAGA rallies have always commenced with a local evangelical pastor saying a benediction, but lately his rallies now conclude with an altar call MAGA style. With music softly playing in the background, the orange messiah delivers a ten-minute finale that evokes an evangelical altar call.

Many MAGA cultists even bow their heads during Trump’s altar call, the only difference between a church altar call and a MAGA altar call is that Trump doesn’t ask his followers to come forward and rededicate their lives to him.

But I’m persuaded that after an hour of hearing their orange Savior rail against migrants, racial minorities and the LGBT community, Trump’s disciples leave his rallies inspired and motivated to spread his Gospel of hatred and violence.

Happy Eclipse Day/Rapture Day

“A total solar eclipse is taking place on Monday, April 8, 2024, visible across North America and dubbed the Great North American Eclipse by some media. A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes between Earth and the Sun, thereby obscuring the image of the Sun for a viewer on Earth.”

Wikipedia

For the vast majority of Americans there is nothing mysterious or apocalyptic about today’s total solar eclipse. It’s Science 101, and the lucky souls who live on the path of totality plan on celebrating this celestial event by donning cool eclipse glasses and downing a beer or two, or three.

Contrary to common belief, solar eclipses aren’t rare sightings. According to NASA there has been an average of 2.5 eclipses every year for the past 1,000 years.

But for many evangelical Christians the solar eclipse is a major eschatological event, and they expect Jesus Christ to rapture them out of this world during the four minutes of darkness. I’m not surprised at the gullibility and stupidity of evangelicals; they birth a new conspiracy theory every time they have a bowel movement.

While we are looking at the sun, with our protective glasses, evangelicals are looking for the Son of God to emerge from the eclipse. I won’t go into the details of why they believe Jesus will return during the eclipse, because it would make your head spin, if it doesn’t outright explode.

I don’t believe anything that’s not based on science, but wouldn’t it be great if Jesus did return today and raptured the racist, idiotic and hateful and Trump-loving evangelicals out of this world?

If Biden Debates Trump He Will Lose the Debate and the Election

Donald Trump is a boxing fan, and he usually has a ringside seat at major boxing events. Even though Trump weighs almost 300 pounds, never exercises, wears diapers instead of boxing trunks, and has tiny doll hands, he views himself as a pugilist. Trump styles himself as a counterpuncher, but actually he’s more of a down-puncher. He strikes out at subordinates and people who he deems incapable of punching back.

The orange pig will never enter a boxing ring, but the next best thing for him is the debate stage. Trump is dying to debate the physically frail and cognitively challenged Joe Biden.

Last month, the combatative politician used his Truth Social platform to dare Biden to step onto the debate stage with him, declaring that he’s prepared to debate the Democratic incumbent “ANYTIME, ANYWHRE, ANYPLACE.” The former president expressed a desire to see ten debates, rather than the usual three general election debates.

Even though Trump is just as senile as Biden he would demolish, destroy and disembowel the octogenarian president. At the first verbal jab Biden’s dentures would go flying out, he would lose his train of thought and maybe control of his bowels as well.

There is no way that Biden can compete against an adversary who breaks all the rules, talks over his opponents and lands more low blows than legitimate punches.

If Biden is foolish enough to debate Trump, he will lose the debate and the election.