Month: November 2025

Trump Pic Sparks Concern He’s at Death’s Door

A recent photograph of President Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago depicting him with closed eyes and a gaping mouth has gone viral. The image shows the old geezer in a white polo shirt with “President Donald Trump” emblazoned on it, a red cap with “45-47”, and a place card on the table with his title and name.

Has the stable’s genius’ cognitive ability declined to the point where he needs visual reminders of who he is?

Even the Dear Leader’s staunchest fans acknowledge that this pic closely resembles the myriad online photos of former President Joe Biden, now in his eighties, with his mouth open and eyes shut.

Never mind Sleepy Joe, this viral image reminds me of a catatonic Jimmy Carter at his 100th birthday party with his mouth wide open.

A baseball cap and a polo shirt is the quintessential uniform of an old fart who is always in leisure mode and resides in a nursing home. What a national catastrophe that Trump lives in the White House instead of living in retirement at Mar-a-Lago.

This snapshot has sparked concerns that Trump is not well. No shit, he is not well, mentally, physically or spiritually. They shoot horses, don’t they?

‘ShamWow Guy’ Running for Congress

Offer Shlomi, aka Vince Shlomi, aka Vince Offer, is best known as the “ShamWow Guy” from his glory days hawking the infamous ultra-absorbent ShamWow towel. His infomercials were ubiquitous in the aughts, especially in late night hours.

ShamWow towels were not total frauds; they did absorb a surprisingly large amount of liquid. However, they earned the label “sham” because they did not fully deliver on their sensational promises.

The ShamWow dude is tailor-made for infomercials, televangelism, or politics. He was destined to be a MAGA politician. He has the perfect resume and profile for a Republican candidate: he looks sleazy, has a shady background (he engaged in a brawl with a sex worker in a hotel room), and he is a political novice. He would fit in perfectly with Trump’s carnival of freaks like Kash Patel, Pam Bondi, Tom Homan, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Laura Loomer, JD Vance, Stephen Miller, Kristi Noem, and JD Vance.

The sleazy shyster has filed to run in Texas’ GOP primary, challenging Republican Rep. John Carter, 84, who is seeking another term after more than 20 years in office.

I predict that the ShamWow guy, a spring chicken compared to his octogenarian opponent, will wipe the floor with Carter.

I cannot wait to see his political commercials, they are destined to become classics, just like his infomercials.

Text, Don’t Call

My small house stands out with its welcoming blue color scheme, tasteful exterior ornaments, and a large tree that invites neighbors to say hello as I relax on the porch swing. My humble abode has curb appeal in abundance, but solicitors and even Jehovah’s Witnesses rarely darken my door, and it has been over a decade since kids came trick or treating.

Once upon a time, calling someone was normal and dropping by unannounced was fine. In the digital age people communicate via texting and emojis, and we panic if someone has the audacity to call us, or God forbid, knock on our door announced.

I get annoyed when my phone rings and wonder who skipped texting and called, which I think should be reserved for emergencies. Unfortunately, my sister, whose first impulse is always to call, does not read my essays.

When someone knocks on my door, especially if it is after the sun goes down, I go into panic mode. Is it a serial killer, a home invader, an ICE agent? I recently bought a Ring doorbell, now I can at least see who has invaded my comfort zone, and if the figure appears even slightly menacing, I will silently pray that he will walk away.

I appreciate that I was not interrupted by any phone calls while composing this essay, or it would have had an even more paranoid vibe.  

America to Trump: Quiet, Piggy

Most people, liberals and conservatives, will stipulate that Donald Trump is a misogynist pig. The sexist sociopath has a sordid history of comparing women to animals, he has called them “fat pigs”, “dogs”, and “disgusting animals.” Famously, he called 1996 Miss Universe winner Alicia Machado of Venezuela “Miss Piggy” when she gained weight after winning the crown.

Which is why, when Trump matter of factually said, “Quiet, piggy” to Bloomberg reporter Catherine Lucey, after she had the temerity to ask him a question about the Epstein files, the reaction from colleagues, pundits, and politicians was subdued. Trump has normalized misogyny, the next time a female reporter asks a tough question, I will not be surprised if he silences her by shouting, “Bitch, please.” And I likewise will not be surprised if he gets away with uttering the sexist expletive without suffering any dire consequences.

The White House correspondents should have demonstrated solidarity with Lucey, by demanding that Trump apologize, or else they would boycott all future press conferences.

Trump is the last person on Earth who should be calling anyone a pig, considering he is as fat as a pig, ugly as a pig, and dirty as a pig.

Whenever Trump’s ugly mug appears on a TV, millions of people shout at the screen: Quiet, piggy. Just STFU!

All I Want for Christmas is Mariah Carey

The first time I hear the iconic intro melody of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” it lets me know that the Christmas season has officially arrived.

Little children dream of Santa Claus sliding down the chimney to deliver toys, and they leave cookies and milk to engender his generosity.

I’m old and jaded and I don’t believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy, and I’ve lost trust in all major institutions, but I still dream of the Queen of Christmas, sliding down my chimney to give me all I want for Christmas, namely herself.

While children often offer Santa milk and cookies, I make an effort to welcome Mariah by providing a tray of cannabis-infused cookies and a bottle of Cristal champagne.

My nightmare is that Mariah’s delicious ample rear end will get stuck in my chimney, and instead of singing “All I Want for Christmas is You”, she will scream in terror, and her high notes will burst the Cristal bottle and shatter my hopes that she will spend the night with me.

Who am I kidding? Mariah Carey, the Queen of Christmas belongs to the world, and she will not be spending any quality time with me. It is incumbent upon us to pay homage to Mariah, by playing “All I Want for Christmas” on a loop.

Did Trump Blow Clinton?

A virtual mountain of Jeffrey Epstein’s bank records, emails, private correspondence and other documents has been released over the last two decades through various legal proceedings and congressional actions. In November 2025 alone, the House Oversight Committee released over 20,000 pages of emails from the pedophile’s estate.

This treasure trove of decadence has implicated dozens of politicians, business titans, lawyers, British royalty, and Hollywood stars in Epstein’s child trafficking pyramid scheme. It chronicles the age-old story: the insane appetite of rich and powerful men for the tender flesh of underage girls.

Out of the gazillion documents that have been released it’s a March 20, 2018 email from Mark Epstein to Jeffrey Epstein that has the potential to blow up Donald Trump’s administration.

In an email Mark Epstein told Jeffrey Epstein to ask Steve Bannon, Trump’s former chief strategist, if Russian President Vladimir Putin has “the photos of Trump blowing Bubba.”

“Blowing” someone is a slang term commonly used to describe performing oral sex and “Bubba” is a nickname for former president Bill Clinton.

Is the internet blowing things out of proportion or is there really a chance that Donald Trump, who prides himself on being the epitome of machismo, went down on Bubba?

Considering there is video evidence of Trump simulating oral sex on a microphone and rhapsodizing about Arnold Palmer’s incredibly long shlong, I’d say there’s a fairly good chance Putin has incriminating evidence on Trump.

Trump’s MAGA evangelical cult will rationalize and normalize all manner of their orange messiah’s sins including greed, racism, fraud, sexual harassment and even pedophilia. But the homophobes draw a line at sucking dick, especially a liberal prick. No wonder Trump is obsessed with keeping any more of Epstein’s documents from being released. He must have been reminiscing about sucking Clinton’s wiener when he labeled his tax and spending policies the “The One Big Beautiful Bill.”

In Trump’s Fascist America, Liberals, Gays and Minorities Should Buy Guns

“For decades, the image of gun ownership in America was white, rural and Republican, but that’s been changing, according to gun clubs, trainers, Second Amendment advocates and academic researchers.

They say more liberals, people of color and LGBTQ folks have been buying guns for years and particularly since Trump’s reelection in 2024.”

NPR

Oligarchs like to be photographed embracing their trophy wives, hunters prize photographs depicting them standing before their fallen prey, and MAGA rednecks love to take selfies showing them brandishing their shotguns.

Since time immemorial gun culture, veering towards a gun fetish, has been associated with conservatives. Liberals have an aversion to firearms and many even forbid their children from playing with toy guns.

But the times They are A-Changing. Since the shocking reelection of the fascist Donald Trump, liberals, people of color and LGBTQ people have been stocking up on weapons and ammunition.

When the only people who have guns are Gestapo Ice Agents, racist police officers, militia members and redneck MAGA cultists it behooves liberals and marginalized minorities to forget about political correctness and buy a gun and go to a shooting range to learn how to shoot.

Trans women, particularly Black trans women, are frequent targets of horrific acts of violence, and they would be well-advised to never leave home without being strapped.

Don’t get me wrong I still believe in gun control measures, especially a ban of assault rifles, but in this fascist age liberals, gays and people of color should be responsible gun owners.

South Park’s Trump/Vance Sex Scene Traumatized Me for Life

The latest episode of South Park contains the most disturbing visuals in the history of cinema, it makes the depravity depicted in Faces of Death, Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom, and Caligula, seem like highlights from Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

Donald Trump uncovered the plot between Peter Thiel and JD Vance to abort his love child with Satan. Vance, drawn to look like Fantasy Island’s Tattoo, convinces his boss that he was only acting in his best interest before putting the moves on him.

Trump and his chief fluffer Vance, then proceed to defile and degrade the Lincoln Bedroom, by doing the nasty in the hallowed room. The use of Trump and Vance’s actual faces in the throes of orgasm is enough to make the most randy Romeo swear off sex forever.

South Park perfectly captures the mendacity of the vice president when he exclaims, “it’s so big.” Even South Park’s tiny version of Vance would curse God if his pecker was as puny as the orange pedophile’s.

I am a huge fan of director John Waters, known as the Pope of Trash, for his trashy cult movies. Divine eating fresh dog feces off the sidewalk in Water’s classic Pink Flamingos? That shit ain’t nothing compared to graphic sex scenes between Vance and Trump.

Watching this disturbing South Park episode caused me lasting trauma. I cannot wait for the next episode.

Morgan Freeman: The Voice of God

Morgan Freeman, the world-renowned thespian, has portrayed a US president, Nelson Mandela, and the Almighty in not one but two movies: Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty.

There is only one other actor with the screen gravitas and distinctive voice to challenge Freeman for the title “Voice of God,” James Earl Jones.

It is remarkable that the two actors best known for sounding like God are Black, especially given that early Hollywood often restricted Black performers to stereotypical roles like butlers, maids, elevator operators, or comic sidekicks.

It is ironic that the Voice of God belongs to Freeman who has long identified as an agnostic. Can you imagine if the Almighty had blessed a hack Christian actor like Kirk Cameron with a booming god-like tone? Cameron would exploit his sonorous voice to hawk Bibles, books, and baubles.

“When E.F. Hutton speaks, people listen” was a famous advertising slogan for the E.F. Hutton & Co. financial firm in the 1970s and 1980s. People listen when Morgan Freeman, who grew up poor, speaks.

When I die it won’t be a reedy-sounding voice like that of your average televangelist, but it will be a Freeman-type voice that will welcome me to paradise.

Trump’s New Gold Oval Office Sign Elicits Mockery

I remember when I was a young child, I owned a Dymo label maker, a low-tech mechanical device that created labels by physically embossing characters onto a strip of plastic tape. No batteries or ink required, the only thing I had to purchase was the plastic embossing tape, which had an adhesive backing.

We were a poor family, and my siblings and I had few possessions, and only a handful of toys. Nevertheless, I slapped a label with my name on every toy and possession I owned. My obsession stemmed from boredom and a desire to mark my belongings so my siblings would not use them, not from vanity.

Donald Trump is a manchild with a golden label maker, he puts his label on his hi-rise buildings, hotels, golf clubs and casinos. He also hawks Trump-branded inferior merchandizes to his gullible MAGA followers. I am surprised he hasn’t erected a neon Trump sign on the White House roof, although there are rumors, he plans to name the White House ballroom after himself.

A new gold sign bearing cursive script now hangs next to the door of the Oval Office. The sign is a makeshift office paper taped to the wall. It is not meant to appeal to Trump’s vanity, but as an aid to deal with his dementia. The oval shape of the room is not enough information for the 79-year-old to deduce that it is the world-famous Oval Room, hence the need for the sign.

I suspect that it is not the only sign in the White House, I suspect there may be a “Closet” sign on the door of every closet, lest the senile old pervert mistake it for a restroom and take a dump there.

‘TACO Trump’ Misspells Taco

“Trump’s campaign sent a fundraising email Tuesday night featuring what appears to be an AI-generated image of Trump wearing a sombrero and holding a taco under a banner that misspells “tacos” as “TCOS.”

MSN

Word to the wise, or to the idiot in this case:  AI is a wonderful tool, but it behooves you to proofread before clicking “send.”

The acronym “TACO” meaning “Trump always chickens out” really gets under the narcissist’s thin skin. The term originated on Wall Street to describe the blowhard’s penchant for making theatrical aggressive tariff threats but then invariably backing down, delaying, or reducing them, creating market volatility and economic chaos.

TACO Trump is using the term applied to him in derision to disseminate racist stereotypes, and of course to raise campaign funds.

The AI-generated image depicts Trump wearing a sombrero and holding what looks like a hard-shell Taco Bell taco. The fast-food-loving pig has never tasted an authentic soft taco containing carne asada, chopped cilantro, diced white onion and a squeeze of fresh lime juice.

The email stated: “I love LEGAL immigrants—especially Mexicans! They are hardworking. They open very delicious restaurants.” No doubt, but Mexican restaruants do not serve the inauthentic Taco Bell type taco the moron is holding.

The grifter’s email included multiple prompts to donate money to Trump. You can always count on any communication from Trump to include racist tropes and appeals for donations.

Latest Evil TikTok Trend: Placing One-inch Jesus Dolls Everywhere

A few weeks ago, I saw a one-inch rubber Jesus figurine on a flower planter outside a Dollar General. The other day I found another miniature Jesus doll performing guard duty at the self-checkout machine at my local Kroger. If I find another tiny, long hair, bearded hippie Jesus while running my errands I will interpret it as sign of the impending Apocalypse.

There is nothing spiritual or heavenly about this infestation of teensy-weensy Jesus dolls. This army of diminutive Jesuses did not escape from the pit of hell; their origin is more sinister: it is another infernal TikTok trend. The social media behometh is even selling packs of up to one hundred tiny Jesus statuettes on the app’s store.

This Lilliputian monstrosities are everywhere, evangelical Christians are buying them in bulk and placing them in gas stations, post offices, stores, and hospitals as a witnessing tool.

While some may perceive me as cynical or irreligious, my initial reaction upon encountering one of these peculiarities was not to interpret it as a prompt for religious attendance.

When I learned that MAGA evangelicals were using these Jesus trinkets as a proselytizing gimmick, I thought to myself: “What freaking idiots!” They have reduced the Jesus of the Gospels to a toy and a sales gimmick.

I avoid the Republican Jesus, and we should keep these novelties away from babies and toddlers. They might swallow Jesus and choke to death.