Trump Claims Golf Tournament Win Despite Not Playing First Round

“Former US President Donald Trump has claimed victory in a tournament that took place last week at his West Palm Beach Golf Club in Florida, even though he was 600 miles away at a funeral in North Carolina when it began.”

Golf Monthly

How can Donald Trump claim to be the victor of a two-round golf tournament when he missed the first round? How did he accomplish this seemingly impossible sports feat? The cheater-in-chief simply took his score from a round he’d played two days earlier and announced that would count as the score for his opening round. When you are the owner of the golf resort where the tournament is being held, I guess you can engage in whatever shenanigans you choose to ensure victory. Taking a mulligan his one thing, claiming to win a golf event where you miss the opening round is a horse of a different color.

Trump even had the audacity to brag about his “victory” on his Truth Social media platform:”

“A great honor to have won the Senior Club Championship at Trump International Golf Club, one of the best courses in the country, in Palm Beach County, Florida. Competed against many fine golfers, and was hitting the ball long and straight.”

I can imagine Trump’s sycophants’ reaction:

“Thank you, Jesus, for directing the path of the golf ball to the hole, and blessing our Orange Savior with yet another victory. Please Lord don’t let the godless liberals succeed in tarnishing this great victory.”

I’m not surprised Trump claimed victory after missing the first round. Let’s not forget that this is the same con artist who claims to have won the 2020 presidential election even though he lost to Joe Biden in an electoral college and popular vote landslide.

Accusations of cheating on the course are par for the course for Trump. I hope Trump will lose in another landslide to Joe Biden in 2024 and he will spend the last days of his miserable life cheating on the golf course.

Petition Calls for Franklin Graham to be Fired

Franklin Graham

Almost 30,000 people have signed a petition calling for evangelical pastor Franklin Graham to be fired for his support of former President Trump following the deadly Capitol riot. The petition was drawn up by the Christian organization Faith America, which criticizes Graham’s “idolatry” of the former president.”

Newsbreak

I wonder how many, if any, of the 30,000 people who signed the petition are evangelical Christians. The vast majority of white evangelical Christians are still under the spell of their Orange Messiah who embodies all the traits of the Antichrist.

And the vast majority of evangelical leaders still support Donald Trump, although a handful, including Franklin Graham, say they will not support Trump for the primaries. Although if Trump wins the Republican nomination, almost all of them will vote for him.

The petition calling for Franklin Graham to be fired for his support of the twice-impeached former president following the deadly Capitol insurrection is a half-measure at best. About 85 percent of white evangelicals and most of their pastors support the Orange Abomination, what we need is a petition calling for the firing of the evangelical movement.

The white evangelical movement is anti-Christian and anti-democratic, when Jesus returns his first order of business will be to smite tooth and nail every last one of the evangelical con artists, buffoons, conspiracy theorists, racist and fascists.

I am on a mission from God to destroy the pernicious influence and power of not only Franklin Graham, but every single evangelical leader and their followers.

Donald Trump Is an A-Hole

Trump

Donald Trump is an asshole.

This is the perfect metaphor to describe the execrable sociopath who is beloved by evangelicals, racists, conspiracy theorists and other riff-raff.

Trump’s supporters may take offense at this pithy statement, but deep inside they realize that nothing, but ill winds and bullshit emanates from their beloved orange sphincter.

There is no light at the end of the unholy anus, only a claustrophobic darkness and sulfuric feces. Those who enter Trump’s orbit may escape out of his rectum one day, but the ungodly stench will remain with them forever.

It’s common sense that only farts and shit emanate from the freak’s asshole, so why are so many evangelicals enthralled with the biggest asshole in the world?

Birds of a feather flock together, and assholes tend to socialize with other assholes. I give Trump and his sycophants a wide berth, I don’t want people mistaking me for an asshole.

Donald Trump is an asshole. That’s it, that’s the point of my essay.

Pope Francis: ‘Homosexuality is Not a Crime’

Pope Francis

“Being homosexual is not a sin.”

Pope Francis uttered these monumental words during an interview with the Associated Press. As the leader of one billion Catholics worldwide the pontiff’s words carry a lot of weight.

I hope Catholic bishops are paying close attention to the words of their Pope; Catholic bishops in some parts of the world support laws that criminalize homosexuality or discriminate against the LGBTQ community. In some countries homosexuality is a crime punishable by death, but even where the draconian laws are not enforced, they contribute to harassment, stigmatization and violence against gays and lesbians.

I applaud the divine declaration of the Pope, but he needs to go further and declare that homosexuality is not a sin. As a religious leader he needs to speak plainly using religious words that resonate with Catholics.

And then he needs to go a step further and teach that homosexuality is a blessing, a manifestation of romantic love that’s just as life-affirming as heterosexual love.

Finally, the Pope must make an official proclamation, speaking “ex cathedra”, and make it clear once and for all that gays and lesbians are part of God’s family and must be accepted as equals in all layers of society, including the Catholic church. 

The Pope is infallible when he speaks “ex cathedra”, so this would end the debate within Catholicism, and any Catholic who discriminated against the LGBT community from that point on would be considered a heretic.

Only These 5 Things Will Prevent Biden from Running for Reelection

Biden

President Biden has been hinting for weeks that he will soon be announcing that he’s running for reelection. In spite of the fact that the octogenarian Leader of the Free World has one foot in the grave, and the other one on a banana peel, he will probably announce his candidacy shortly after he delivers the State of the Union Speech.

Biden is as stubborn as he is senile, and he won’t tolerate anyone walking on his front lawn, sitting on his favorite chair or trying to dissuade him from running for reelection.

These are the only things that will make Biden change his mind about running for reelection:

The FBI rummages through the ho bag of one of Hunter Biden’s prostitute pals and discovers a toothbrush, mints, a switchblade, semen-encrusted thongs, rubbers and classified documents.

It’s discovered that Biden plagiarized his State of the Union Address from Barack Obama, or that he wrote it with the help of ChatGPT app.

Biden sniffs the hair of Kamala Harris during a photo op and gleefully declares that she smells better than Pam Grier, Beyonce, Corn Pop’s girlfriend and Hunter’s favorite black stripper.

After delivering a speech, as is his wont, Biden shakes the hand of an imaginary friend, but this time he outdoes himself by patting the butt of another, and French kissing a third.

Biden accidentally swallows his dentures while delivering a speech, Jill performs the Heimlich maneuver, and his dentures fly out of his mouth striking a little girl in the eye, and blinding her.

For the love of God, I hope one of these things will happen to prevent the calamity of a second Biden administration.

No Power in Heaven or Hell Can Pry White Evangelicals Apart from Their Sexual Embrace with Donald Trump

Trump

Is the torrid love affair between the amoral and depraved Donald Trump and the sanctimonious and craven white evangelicals over? Are evangelicals at the point in their illicit relationship with the Antichrist figure where they are smoking a cigarette in bed after their latest sexual tryst and fantasizing of new lovers?

Religious conservatives got what they wanted from Donald Trump’s presidency, and now a few evangelical leaders are moving on. They are exceedingly grateful to the former president for his judicial appointments, which resulted in finally obtaining the holy grail, the overturning of Roe v Wade. And they are overjoyed at his decision to move the U.S embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, but are they finally growing tired of Trump’s never-ending chaos and confusion, and contemplating new, younger and more virile lovers like Ron DeSantis and Mike Pompeo?

Evangelical leaders are pragmatic and they won’t think twice about trading their obese septuagenarian lover, for a newer and sleeker model. But their parishioners, who line their pockets, are still enthralled with their Orange Messiah. This is a case where the evangelical ministers will follow the lead of their congregations, instead of the other way around, and I don’t see any mass defections from evangelical leaders.

It will take a power greater than the Holy Ghost to pry white evangelical followers apart from their sexual union with Donald Trump.

Epitome of Cringey: Biden Kneeling in Front of Golden State Warriors

Biden

During important occasions families attempt to keep grandpa from doing something embarrassing, inappropriate or just plain weird that will sully the memorable moment. During a wedding they will keep him from getting too close to the wedding cake in fears that he will topple it, and during a party they will tell him it’s his bed time before he gets too sloshed and attempts the M3gan dance.

Joe Biden is 80-freaking-years-old and well into his second childhood, and unfortunately as president he presides over many significant events, and it’s almost impossible to stop him from doing something cringey or embarrassing. After all, who’s going to caution the Leader of the Free World to please behave himself?

The octogenarian president mortified his friends and delighted his critics after he chose to take a knee during a photo opportunity when meeting the 2022 NBA Championship team, the Golden State Warriors.

During their meeting on Tuesday, Biden took a knee in front of the team for a photo with Vice President Kamala Harris and the team, prompting nervous laughter from those in attendance.

Kamala Harris is pretty cringey herself, but she had enough sense not to drop to her knees in front of the NBA team, shouting, “I’m not doing that.”

Biden even posted the embarrassing photo on Twitter. It’s time for America to tell the doddering president that he needs to take a long nap after his term mercifully ends.

Befuddled Biden Bungles Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Martin Luther King III’s Spouse

Biden

President Joe Biden is 80-freaking-years-old and I don’t expect him to recite the Gettysburg Address or even the Pledge of Allegiance without the aid of a teleprompter.

But I do expect him to remember the name of the person he’s singing “Happy Birthday” to, especially during an event that’s being televised live.

Biden delivered a speech at the National Action Network’s annual Martin Luther King Jr. birthday breakfast on Monday.

“Well, my wife has a rule in my family, when it’s somebody’s birthday, sing ‘Happy Birthday,’” he said before he started singing to Martin Luther King III’s spouse.”

A flustered Biden mumbled something that sounded like “Lur-lurh” when it came time to mention her name. The birthday gal’s name is “Andrea Waters King”, and if the octogenarian president couldn’t remember her first name, he could have simply said, “Happy Birthday, Ms. King.”

The venue was festooned with signs commemorating Martin Luther King, only someone suffering from dementia wouldn’t have been prompted to say, “Happy Birthday, Ms. King.”

It’s OK for a resident in a nursing home to forget the name of the birthday gal, but when the president of the United States forgets the name of the person whose birthday is being celebrated, that’s a sign that he’s too old to hold any political office.

Kevin McCarthy is Considering Expunging Trump’s Impeachments

Trump

“To expunge is to erase or remove completely. In law, expungement is the process by which a record of criminal conviction is destroyed or sealed from state or federal record. An expungement order directs the court to treat the criminal conviction as if it had never occurred, essentially removing it from a defendant’s criminal record as well as, ideally, the public record.”

American Bar Association

Speaker Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., announced on Thursday that he would consider expunging one or both impeachments of former President Donald Trump.

Just as there is no constitutional mechanism whereby Donald Trump can be reinstated as president, there is no legal mechanism whereby Trump’s impeachments can be expunged.

Trump’s impeachment in 2019 for withholding military aid from Ukraine in exchange for political favors and his impeachment in 2021 for instigating the January 6 insurrection will forever remain in the history books. Trump’s impeachments are a stain that will never be cleansed, never be blotted and never be expunged.

McCarthy is wasting his time considering the impossible task of expunging Trump’s impeachment, he might as well consider waving his gavel as a means of transforming Trump’s deformed tiny hands into normal hands.

Why would McCarthy want to expunge Trump’s 2021 impeachment anyway? In January 2021, McCarthy condemned Trump for his role in the Capitol attacks:

“The president bears responsibility for Wednesday’s attack on Congress by mob rioters. He should have immediately denounced the mob when he saw what was unfolding. These facts require immediate action by President Trump.”

McCarthy knows that he can’t expunge Trump’s impeachments, he is merely pandering to the MAGA base that believes in all sorts of tomfoolery such as the notion that Trump can be reinstated as president before 2024.

Trump” ‘I Have Single-handedly Shown the American Public How Crooked & Corrupt Our Government Is’

Trump

On Thursday Donald Trump, the twice-impeached, former president boasted on his Truth Social platform:

“Importantly, I have single-handedly shown the American Public how Crooked and Corrupt our Government is. NOW WE CAN FIX IT!”

The messages posted on Truth Social are called “truths”, an Orwellian twist since almost all of Trump’s dispatches could be more accurately described as “boasts” or “lies.”

The Truth Social Platform is every tyrant’s fantasy: A platform where they can boast and lie with impunity without their missives being censored, edited or vetted.

Almost all of Trump’s “truths” are lies, fabrications and exaggerations, but this is one time when the pathological liar inadvertently told the truth.

Indeed, Trump has single-handedly shown the American public how crooked and corrupt the government is, especially when the Executive branch was led by the most corrupt, evil, and incompetent president in American history.

We can fix it by making sure that neither Trump nor any of his Republican clones comes anywhere near the White House again.

Don’t Run Joe! For the Love of God, Don’t Run Joe Biden

Biden

“Don’t Run Joe, a progressive campaign seeking a new Democratic nominee to represent the party in 2024, is placing mobile billboards around D.C. monuments to urge President Joe Biden to not seek re-election.”

Fox News

It’s not Trump’s MAGA army that is placing these mobile billboards, but progressives who realize that if the octogenarian president runs for reelection he won’t have the physical stamina, mental acuity or social awareness to defeat an extremist Republican in 2024, whether it’s Trump or a clone like Ron DeSantis.

“Most Democrats Say Don’t Run Joe,” the truck sign reads in bold letters as it sits parked in front of landmarks, like the White House, the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial.

This old school billboard is the perfect advertisement vehicle (no pun intended) to reach a senile old man with myopic eyesight.

The message is concise: Don’t Run Joe. A simple message that even an old man suffering from dementia can remember.

The billboard is the epitome of truth in advertising, according to polls the vast majority of Democrats don’t want Biden to run for reelection.

Biden has hinted that he will be soon announce that he is running for reelection, therefore it’s incumbent upon Democratic leaders to urge him not to run immediately.

An open Democratic primary would feature a new generation of leaders with the physical stamina, charisma, and youthful energy to defeat whatever extremist candidate wins the 2024 Republican nomination.

Don’t Run Joe!!

Robber Shot and Killed by Hero Customer at Taqueria

Robberr

“A customer at Ranchito Taqueria shot and killed a man who robbed the restaurant in southwest Houston late Thursday night, according to the Houston Police Department.

Houston police said the armed man in a mask came inside the restaurant, demanding money and wallets from customers. However, as he was leaving, one of those customers shot the suspect.”

KHOU.Com

Dining out isn’t just a means of getting sustenance, it’s a form of entertainment and relaxation. When you patronize a restaurant, you don’t have to worry about cooking, the server waits on you hand and foot, and after the meal you don’t have to wash the dishes. An hour of bliss in a chaotic world.

The last thing you expect is for a thug to burst into the restaurant, waving a gun and robbing the customers of their wallets, cell phones and other valuables.

As the criminal was leaving, one of the customers shot the suspect repeatedly. The superhero then collected the stolen goods from the robber and returned them to the other patrons. The rest of the people in the restaurant left the scene before the police arrived.

The criminal worthless piece of human excrement was armed with a BB gun, and some bleeding hearts are complaining that it was overkill for the hero customer to shoot him more than once.

Bullshit! First of all, a BB gun can cause serious damage, such as taking out an eye. Secondly, the heroic customer didn’t know that it wasn’t a real gun, and he should be commended for putting his own life in danger by shooting the criminal. Finally, the robber is dead, which means he won’t be terrorizing and robbing any other hapless diners.

The hero has not been identified and is not charged at this time; however, the police want to question him. The only reason why authorities should be seeking the identity of the shooter is to present him with a key to the city of Houston.

What if Joe Biden or Donald Trump Urinated on Themselves in Public?

Biden and Trump

A journalists’ union in South Sudan asserted Friday that six staffers with the national broadcaster are detained in connection with footage apparently showing the country’s president urinating on himself during an event.

The South Sudan Broadcasting Corporation footage aired in December and was widely shared online. It showed 71-year-old President Salva Kiir standing during the national anthem and then looking down at what appeared to be a spreading stain before the camera turned away.”

The Hill

The septuagenarian President Salva Kiir presides over a nation beset with rampant corruption, economic collapse and where the military routinely commits atrocities against journalists, foreign aid workers and anybody else who criticizes the government. It’s hardly surprising that journalists were arrested for broadcasting video of the president peeing on himself.

South Sudan is a third world hellhole, and nobody in the West bats an eye when journalists are arrested for having the temerity to do their job.

But how would American broadcasters be treated if they aired footage of 76-year-old Donald Trump or 80-year-old Joe Biden soiling themselves during a public event?

First let me say that I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe Biden who has a penchant for shaking hands with imaginary friends and who needs to be escorted off the stage after a speech urinated on himself in public.

And I wouldn’t be surprised if Donald Trump whose incoherent and inflammatory speeches can best be described as diarrhea of the mouth crapped or wet himself during one of his diatribes.

America is not a perfect country but free speech still prevails, and news outlets wouldn’t face any prosecution from the government for airing video of the president urinating on himself.

If Joe Biden wet himself during a public event, CNN, MSNBC and the rest of the mainstream media would demand that we make allowances for a senior citizen, and denounce as ageists anyone who dared mock him.  Fox News, Newsmax and the rest of the conservative media would have a field day, mocking and ridiculing the octogenarian president and demanding that he immediately resign. Social media would be flooded with memes of Leaky Joe taking a whiz on Corn Pop.

If Donald Trump urinated on himself the mainstream media would marvel how such a tremendous flow of urine could emanate from such a tiny mushroom-shaped penis. Conservative media would claim that it was a conspiracy, that the godless liberals somehow managed to digitally alter video in real time to make it appear as though Trump lost control of his bladder. Social media would be flooded with memes of Trump pissing in public while shouting: I got your golden showers right here.

For the love of God let’s pray that 2024 won’t be a re-run of 2020, let’s avoid the likelihood of President Trump or President Biden pissing themselves in public.

Kevin McCarthy Destroys and Diminishes His Speakership in Order to Save It

Kevin McCarthy

Kevin McCarthy isn’t an idealogue, and he isn’t desperately attempting to become the Speaker of the House in order to enact a conservative political agenda.

McCarthy is a pragmatist and he will adopt whatever Republican political viewpoint is the flavor of the day. He has been scheming to hold the most powerful position in the House since at least 2015 simply because it’s the most powerful position.

A desperate man resorts to desperate measures to achieve his objective, and in order to win over the “Never Kevin” bloc McCarthy has made concessions that seriously dilute the power and authority of the speakership.

McCarthy even agreed to a House rule that would allow only one representative to push a “motion to vacate” forcing a vote on whether to oust the speaker.

McCarthy has destroyed his speakership in order to save it, and if he finally achieves his dream, he will be nothing but a figurehead who is destined to be voted out by Freedom Caucus representatives before the end of the year.

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Latest Grift by Donald Trump Jr: Peddling ‘We the People’ Edition of the Bible

Donald Trump Jr

The Bible that Donald Trump held upside down at his infamous St. John’s Church photo-op was auctioned for over $35,00. It was signed by the sociopath, thereby increasing its value for deviants who collect personal items of serial killers and dictators.

Donald Trump Jr. is now trying to out grift his notorious father, he’s hawking Bibles on social media. In a video he’s promoting a “We the People” Bible, he claims that the Bible written by the ancient Israelites defends America’s Judeo-Christian values. Yeah, fucken right.

The King James Version of the Bible also includes copies of the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and Pledge of Allegiance. The Bible is being sold for $69.99.

This is wrong on so many levels:

In the first place you don’t have to pay $69 for a Bible, you can easily get one for free. There are many Christian organizations that will gladly give you one, in fact it’s their mission to give away free Bibles to as many people as possible.

In the second place, a cokehead who’s never demonstrated any religious inclinations is not a very credible Bible salesman.

Thirdly, this audacious peddling of the Good Book is a sign of desperation by the Trump crime family. They realize that the handwriting is on the wall and their time will soon be up, and they want to grift every last dollar from their gullible followers.

Finally, this is an example of the politicization of evangelical Christianity. An America First, “We the People” edition of the Bible. Holy fuck! This is blasphemy and grifting on a scale that would embarrass even televangelists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrez58Lm8Mk

Battle for Speaker: A GOP Clown Show! Kevin McCarthy Humiliated

Kevin McCarthy

Nancy Pelosi served as the 52nd speaker of the United States House of Representatives from 2007 to 2011 and again from 2019 to 2023. Pelosi was a consummate politician who served as Speaker with an iron grip by eliciting respect, admiration and fear from her caucus. She never allowed the House to devolve into the chaos that reigns supreme now that the GOP controls the lower chamber.

Kevin McCarthy has lost a second round of voting; this is unprecedented in the last 100 years. The Republican Party is in disarray. If Republicans can’t even nominate a Speaker, how will they pass any substantial legislation?

Answer, they won’t. They don’t have a legislative agenda, strap your seat belt on, and get ready for a wild ride of phony investigations of Dr. Fauci, Hunter Biden and maybe even an impeachment of Joe Biden, never mind that he hasn’t committed any crimes or misdemeanors worthy of an impeachment.

The Republicans have been in control of the House for only one day and the Clown Show is in full effect with the Freedom Caucus serving as the ringmasters.

It doesn’t matter who ends up being the Speaker: McCarthy, Scalise, Jordan or anybody else. it’s going to be a shit show.