Month: September 2025

The Rapture

The Rapture is an eschatological belief held by dispensationalist evangelicals, that true believers will be suddenly and supernaturally raptured or “caught up” from Earth to meet Jesus in the air. After the event, those who believe will ascend to heaven, whereas those who do not will remain and endure seven years of catastrophic tribulation.

Reformed, Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, and most mainline Protestant churches do not believe in the Rapture delusion. It is a heresy that has taken root primarily in evangelical and fundamentalist churches in America.

In places like Nigeria, Syria, North Korea, and Somalia where Christians are massacred and owing a Bible is illegal, the persecuted believers are not counting on the Rapture to deliver them.

In other words, in countries where Christians are a persecuted minority the Rapture is not a popular doctrine, but in America where Christians are in the majority it is a widely held belief.

In America if a department store salesperson tells Christians “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” snowflakes cry out that they are persecuted and they long for the Rapture.

Not only are evangelicals wimps for hoping that the Rapture will save them from faux persecution, but they are selfish assholes for not caring that those left behind will face seven years of tribulation.

If only the Rapture were real and MAGA Christians were raptured to meet Jesus in the air and then dropped straight to hell while those of us left behind enjoy paradise on Earth.

To Hell with Evangelicals and Their Child-like Faith

Evangelicals believe the Bible is the inspired and infallible Word of God. They trust Scripture implicitly, and they place a premium on child-like faith. They take pride in believing in fables and allegories like Noah’s Ark, Jonah and the Whale, and the Tower of Bable with the innocence and naivety of children.

Doubt is the unpardonable sin, and they pray away every last vestige of skepticism. Critical thinking is for atheists, liberals and heathen and they swallow hook, line, and sinker every doctrine of their faith. The evangelical brain is conditioned to have zero critical thinking skills, doubt kills faith.

Therefore, they accept without reservation every idiotic, irrational and batshit crazy utterance that emanates from the sphincter-shaped mouth of their messiah, Donald Trump. They believe every lunatic conspiracy theory that is posted on a MAGA website or published in a far-right conservative publication.

This is why your sweet evangelical grandma thinks liberals are Satan-worshipping pedophiles, and that’s why MAGA Republicans voted for a malignant narcissist, adjudicated rapist, serial adulterer, suspected pedophile, convicted fraudster and steaming pile of human shit.

You will never convince a child who’s been indoctrinated by their parents that Santa is not real, and you will never convince an evangelical that Donald Trump is the embodiment of evil.

We cannot expect the Lord to rapture these cultists to heaven or to hell where they really belong. We must take care of matters ourselves and vote MAGA politicians out of office, and mock and ridicule evangelicals into silence.

‘Praise Music’ is the Soundtrack of the Apocalypse

Back in the 1970s, when I attended a Baptist church, the pastor’s sermon always followed worship songs. The minister’s wife crooned a couple of songs and then the congregation belted beloved hymns like “Amazing Grace,” “Mansion Over the Hilltop,” and “How Great Thou Art.”

The emphasis was on the lyrics that extolled the saving power of Jesus, and the music was just an appetizer before the meat of the Word of God delivered by the pastor.

Today most evangelical churches have replaced hymns with praise music. Praise music induces a meditative, transcendent state of consciousness, by using repetitive patterns and phrases.

These techniques prepare worshippers to have a spiritual experience, which has nothing to do with the traditional Gospel or communing with the Almighty. Evangelicals may repeat “Jesus, I love you” ad nauseum and then exclaim “Amen,” when the MAGA pastor praises Donald Trump, who anyone with a smidgen of spiritual insight would recognize as a steaming pile of human shit.

Christian nationalist worship leaders, like Sean Feucht, are frequently the opening acts at MAGA rallies. Adolf Hitler idolized and obsessively loved the music of German composer Richard Wagner, and Donald Trump loves praise music, and features contemporary Christian worship leaders in his rallies.

Praise music is the soundtrack of the Apocalypse, and whenever I hear praise music I pray that God will smite the fucken somnambulists.

I Love Me Some Kohl’s Mom

Ellie Kemper, celebrated for her roles in “The Office” and “Bridesmaids”, is best known as “Kohl’s Mom,” the lovable and humorous brand personality created by Kohl’s, the American retail store department chain.

Although Kemper is an attractive actress, her characters—like Kimmy Schmidt in “The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” and Erin Hannon in “The Office”—are known for their innocence and kindness rather than sexuality.

Kemper’s own experience as a busy mom of two makes her a perfect fit for the role of Kohl’s Mom, an omnipresent but non-intrusive brand spokesperson who is always ready to offer a word of advice to her customers.

 When I was a dapper young man department store salespersons always hovered nearby, eager to earn a commission by steering me towards high-end merchandize. As a senior citizen, I feel unnoticed and must signal for assistance.

But I am confident that Kohl’s Mom would acknowledge my presence with a welcoming smile and offer her witty advice as if I were the only customer in the store.

In the commercials, customers call her “Kohl’s Mom,” and it is assumed that everyone recognizes her. Indeed, her commercials have gone viral, and she is a household name, even in pitiful towns where there is not a Kohl’s store.

I dreamt about Kohl’s Mom the other night, I was a young man again, Kohl’s Mom was the greeter, she made it rain Kohl’s cash, dazzled me with her latent sexuality, and everything was right with the world.

‘Jesus, Take the Wheel’ Songwriter Dies in a Plane Crash

“Country singer and songwriter Brett James, known for the hit “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” died with two others in a small plane in North Carolina’s mountains.”

Spectrum News 1

“Jesus, take the wheel,

Take it from my hands,

‘Cause I can’t do this on my own.”

Brett James

I don’t particularly care for country music, especially when it’s infused with Christian lyrics. It’s miserable to have a brain worm, but it’s torture to have an earworm. If I hear a snippet of “Jesus Take the Wheel”, it’s ensconced in my mind until I scream out: “Jesus Take the Fucken Wheel and crash into the nearest power pole.”

“Jesus Take the Wheel” is one of the most lyrically insipid and theologically ignorant songs in the annals of country music. It implies an unhealthy level of passivity, and an unwise dependence on an invisible deity. I know Christians who pray for “traveling mercies” and then proceed to text and sing along to Lauren Daigle bangers while they drive merrily on down the road.

I live according to the teachings of Jesus, but I don’t beg Jesus to take the wheel, or control of my life. I’m not going to abdicate my own decision-making process to any televangelist or theologian who claim to speak for God.

Jesus didn’t take over the flight controls of the single-engine Cirrus SR22T plane and Brett James died in the crash.

I pray that a hack songwriter won’t be inspired to write, “Jesus Take Over the Flight Controls.”

Charlie Kirk’s Life & Death: Martyrdom or Cautionary Tale?

Charlie Kirk died the death of a rabble rouser whose inflammatory rhetoric energized the evangelical MAGA base and incited a troubled young man to permanently silence him with the type of weapon that the rightwing prophet fetishized.

Kirk’s violent and gory death was a personal tragedy for his family, friends, and colleagues, but it was not a national tragedy. When a propagandist who incites violence against the LGBT community, racial and religious minorities and immigrants meets an untimely death, it is not a time for mourning, it is a time for reflection and sobriety.

I condemn violence unequivocally. I denounce political assassinations, and I deplore political commentators who provoke violence against women, minorities, and political opponents with their fiery rhetoric.

Kirk was a Christian nationalist who trafficked in rightwing politics steeped in homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia, and anti-Semitism while claiming to be a disciple of the Jesus of the Gospels who ministered to the poor and embraced the disenfranchised.

It is distressing that evangelicals eulogize Kirk as a martyr and canonize him as a national hero akin to Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy. This sorry state of affairs in an indictment of evangelical Christianity and MAGA politics.

As a progressive Latino who lives on a fixed income and hates fascism, I do not mourn the death of Charlie Kirk, I mourn the death of our democracy symbolized by the glorification of a conservative agitator.

Bob Vylan: ‘RIP Charlie Kirk, You Piece of Shi*’

The Sex Pistols, a seminal punk band of the 70’s, caused controversy through profanity and anti-establishment stances. In 1977 they released “God Save the Queen”, which attacked the monarchy during the Queen’s Silver Jubilee.

“God save the Queen,

The fascist regime.

God save the Queen,

She ain’t no human being.”

For an English punk group to attack the Queen in the 70’s is analogous to a 60’s American rock group attacking John F. Kennedy.

We need the punk aesthetic more than ever, thank God the English punk duo Bob Vylan assumed the mantle of the Sex Pistols. Through their lyrics they fight fascism in England, Israel, and the USA.

Bob Vylan is no stranger to controversy, at the 2025 Glastonbury Festival, they called out to the crowd: “Fuck the IDF.” The chant drew criticism from mainstream media, resulting in the group being banned from numerous music venues.

Bob Vylan called Charlie Kirk “an absolute piece of shit of a human being” while performing in Amsterdam. The frontman shouted from the stage: “The pronouns was/were. Cause if you chat shit you will get banged. Rest in peace Charlie Kirk, you piece of shit.”

Bob Vylan made the statements in the context of a punk concert; nobody should expect punk rockers to speak the language of diplomacy.

If you are outraged at the genocide of the Palestinian people and alarmed at the deification of a racist piece of shit, you should support Bob Vylan by buying their albums.

Trump’s Droopy Face is Ready for Halloween

Donald Trump’s toxic personality and virulent rhetoric are accelerating his ageing process; the septuagenarian is falling apart before our eyes. From the shockingly thin hair on top of his head to his humongous cankles, he is the picture of deterioration, decay and decline. The hideous tyrant would be well-advised never to leave home without wearing a cap and he would be better off exchanging his classic dress shoes for cowboy boots.

The president stunned the nation with his ghastly drooping facial expression when he was commemorating the 24th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks at the Pentagon. Trump is literally and figurately full of shit, and we are accustomed to his droopy drawers, but his droopy facial expression caught us by surprise.

The Dear Leader’s pronounced drooping on one side of his face sparked rumors that he suffered a mini stroke. Trump’s dreadful drooping face came after concerns over his health last month over his weeklong absence from the public eye.

Droopy Don is free to meander inside the White House and disturb his family and staffers with his god-awful appearance, but with the exception of Halloween, he should not venture outside where he will frighten the horses and terrify the electorate.

And for the love of God Droopy Don should stay away from the roof of the White House, that spectacle would be more frightening than the Hunchback of Notre Dame ringing the bell.

I Don’t Mourn the Assassination of Charlie Kirk

Charlie Kirk MAGA activist, right-wing podcast host, white Christian Nationalist, co-founder of Turning Point USA, and Trump fluffer was shot and killed by a sniper while participating in a “Prove Me Wrong” debate at Utah Valley University.

The fascist-in chief, Donald Trump, paid tribute to the slain conservative activist in a Truth Social post, writing: “The Great, and even Legendary, Charlie Kirk is dead.”

Trump has stocked his cabinet and administration with imbeciles, racists, and extremist conservatives, and he reserves his most lofty praise and adulation for dictators like Russian President Valdimir Putin, the Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban and the President of El Salvador Nayib Bukele.

Therefore, if Trump lavished praise on Charlie Kirk, you can rest assured that he was a fascist jerk.

Kirk was a huge supporter of the Second Amendment, and in 2023 he said:  “It’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year, so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights.” Kirk, like most evangelicals, also believed in the “God-given right” of Israel to commit genocide.

It’s poetic justice that Kirk was gunned down as he was answering a question about mass shootings in America. I condemn political violence and I’m not rejoicing at his death, but I am not going to pretend that I am in sorrow. Good riddance to bad trash.

Donald Trump directed that United States flags be lowered to half-mast as a tribute to Charlie Kirk.  American flags should be flown at half-mast to mourn the fact that we live in a fascist state that honors moral scum like Kirk.

Ken Paxton Encourages Students to Recite Lord’s Prayer

“With a new Texas law in effect allowing time for prayer and reading religious texts in public schools, Attorney General Ken Paxton on Tuesday encouraged students to practice the Lord’s Prayer as relayed in the King James Version of the Bible.”

Texas Tribune

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.”

Matthew 9:6

The Texas House of Representatives impeached Ken Paxton for showing favoritism to a donor who bribed him, misusing public resources, making false claims against whistleblowers, and interfering with his ongoing securities fraud trial.

This paragon of virtue, alleged adulterer and Texas senatorial candidate urges students to recite the Lord’s Prayer in school, cynically pandering to the evangelical electorate.

This law is an affront to the separation of church of state. I have a problem with the first verse: “Our Father which art in heaven.”

The Bible was written by men in a patriarchal society, reflecting male authority and female subordination. In the biblical narrative women don’t rise to the status of second-class citizens, they are chattel, the property of men.

According to John 4:24, “God is a Spirit,” and the pronouns for the deity should be they/them.

Teaching our female students that the ultimate authority figure is a father figure, sends the wrong message. It indoctrinates them into thinking that authority figures are male.

Any version of the Bible that translates the first verse of the Lord’s Prayer as “Our Father” should be obsolete and this sexist translation should not be read in a public school.

Sleepy Donald Trump Mistakes Flag for Blanket

Gramps Donald Trump was dazed and confused when he was presented an American flag during a signing ceremony in the Oval Office. When Rep. John Rose handed Trump an American flag contained in a transparent plastic bag, he responded” “Oh I could use that at night,” apparently mistaking the flag for a blanket.

The remark elicited subdued laughter from the sycophants present, prompting Rose to clarify, “It’s an American flag.” Realizing his blunder, Trump responded, “It’s very nice, I like that. Thank you very much.”

Flunkies bearing gifts for Sleepy Don would be well-advised to label them with a Sharpie so he will know exactly what they are.

When you are a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and when you are a senile septuagenarian, every product made from fabric looks like a blanket. I am surprised Trump did not lay his head down on the Resolute Desk using the flag as a blankie.

I am relieved Rose had the presence of mind not to gift the demented old fool a T-shirt wrapped in plastic, he might have dropped trou in the Oval Office mistaking the shirt for diapers.

The only time America is safe from Trump’s shenanigans and evil edicts is when he is sound asleep. Every American who cares about our country should give him comfy blankets and fluffy pillows; in the hopes it might encourage him to stay in bed for longer periods of time.

OK Boomer, enough with the Phone Calls

I grew up in the pre-cell phone era, when rotary phones had a mechanical ring that was noticeably loud and encouraged immediate attention.

This halcyon era was before the invention of robocalls, and calls from auto insurance repair companies. When the phone blared, we stopped dead in our tracks and raced to answer the phone. Back then, every call mattered because it came from a friend or family member.

Some of my most indelible childhood memories are of answering the phone and blurting out, “Mama it’s my tia from Mexico.”

In this high-tech society, boomers do not realize that the rotary phone of old has almost no resemblance to the smartphone of today. A cell phone is a small computer with calling as just one of its many functions.  In lieu of placing calls, youngsters text or send DMs. No one needs to remind me “OK boomer, a text message would have sufficed.”

Advice to boomers: Think twice before you call your children or grandchildren, you may be interrupting them from shopping online, swiping right on a dating app, doom scrolling, or watching the latest viral videos.

Many young people experience anxiety when answering the phone, even when they know it’s a relative calling. They are accustomed to communicating via text and are rendered almost mute when they are forced to engage in a phone conversation.

Word to the wise! If you cannot break your habit of placing calls, your nieces and nephews may block or ghost your stubborn old ass.