Don’t Let Your Boomer Relatives Use Checks

Baby boomers are stubborn as hell, they cling to their old-school ways, like still using checks to pay their bills or making purchases.

Using paper checks is the least secure payment method. Unlike modern digital transactions that use encryption and multi-factor authentication, checks physically expose your most sensitive financial data to anyone who handles your check.

The number of people who handle a physical check before it reaches a typically passes through three or four different hands in a standard mailing scenario: postal workers, the recipient, depositor, and the bank teller.  Any of these individuals can access your financial information and empty your bank account.

Each check from Grandma Betty or Auntie Hilda reveals her name, address, bank account and routing number, signature, and sometimes phone number—valuable information for criminals.

If a boomer relative is still using checks, they need an intervention. Don’t just say, “Ok Boomer”, I guess you are too pigheaded to change. Scare them straight and warn them that if they persist in using checks, they run the risk of identify theft and ending up penniless and homeless.

Responsible individuals discourage boomers from using checks.  

Trump’s Signature to Appear on Dollar Bills

“President Donald Trump’s signature will be added to all future U.S. paper currency starting with the $100 bill, the first time in history that a sitting president’s signature will appear on American banknotes, the U.S. Treasury announced March 26.”

USA Today

The phrase “dollar is king” refers to the U.S. dollar’s role as the world’s dominant reserve currency and its primary position in global trade and finance.

Donald Trump posted “LONG LIVE THE KING!” on Truth Social after ending New York City’s congestion pricing program. He rules unilaterally, issuing executive orders to bypass Congress and he ignores judicial decisions, believing himself the final authority on legal matters.

To appease Trump’s king-size ego his John Hancok will be added to all future U.S. paper currency. The first $100 bills bearing his signature will be printed in June 2026.

Today I participated in a “No Kings” rally in Lynchburg, Va, I abhor how Trump is destroying our democracy by acting like a king who answers to nobody but himself. My readers may be surprised that I think his name belongs on currency, whether as an honor or otherwise.  

The dollar is no longer king. Brazil, Russia, India, China, Egypt, Indondesia, and South Africa are seeking to reduce reliance on the U.S. dollar by settling trade in local currencies and developing alternative payment systems like BRICS Pay. Trump’s fascist behavior is accelerating the attempt to dethrone King Dollar. Trump’s scribble fits a falling currency.

Trump’s squiggle resembles an electrocardiogram and seeing it on our currency will give us hope that he will soon be dead of a heart attack or stroke. We all need a little bit of hope in these trying times.

By adding small dots to the peaks of his jagged, multi-peaked signature, the resulting image resembles a group of people wearing Ku Klux Klan hoods, making it the perfect symbol for his Nazi regime.

So yeah, I am down with Trump’s impression appearing on our currency.

My Nightmare: Meeting Trump in Person

I would never attend a Trump political rally or campaign event; I would rather be on a line for a proctological exam than be on a meet-and-greet line for the fascist monster. The likelihood of ever meeting him is nonexistent, but late at night when I am tossing and turning, I sometimes wonder if I would survive a close encounter with the pedophile-in-chief.

I like to look a person straight in the eyes, but the prospect of staring into the soulless raccoon eyes of the sociopath makes my skin crawl. Friedrich Nietzsche is well known for his assertion: “If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”  What alien thoughts would infect my consciousness if I looked into the eyes of a man without empathy?

If I avoided locking eyes with him and instead gazed at his hair, would that be any better? Being only inches away from his grotesque toupee that looks like cotton candy soaked in the urine of Russian escorts would cause me to lose my lunch.

If I focus on his mouth that resembles a sphincter, the price I would pay would be life-long therapy.

If I avoid his countenance altogether and glimpse at his neck, I would be confronted with an abomination that looks like a prolapsed vagina. Ogling a naked vagina is every heterosexual male’s fantasy, but when it is on the neck of a senile pedophile, it is every male’s nightmare.

I have survived many horrible experiences but thank God I have never endured the soul-quenching ordeal of meeting Trump face-to-face.

Trump Commemorative Gold Coin is an Abomination

“The Trump-appointed U.S. Commission of Fine Arts last week approved the design of a 24-karat gold commemorative coin — featuring Trump — to mark the 250th anniversary of America.”

MSN.com

The commemorative Trump coin will not circulate as currency, but two other coins bearing Trum’s butt-ugly mug, including a $1 piece that would be in circulation and a one-ounce gold one.

Living presidents do not appear on U.S. currency. Federal law explicitly prohibits depicting any living person on official currency to distinguish the American Republic from banana republics, monarchies, theocracies, and dictatorships that glorify and deify current leaders.

It is not a surprise that a Trump hand-picked group of lackeys approved the execrable design unanimously. They would have approved a design depicting their Dear Leader wearing a crown.

The commemorative coin features a serious-looking Trump leaning forward with fists clenched. This is a ridiculous attempt to make the draft-dodging coward look macho and menacing.

The other side of the coin should depict explosive diarrhea emanating from Trump’s naked fat ass.

I will certainly not buy the Trump commemorative coin, and I will refuse to accept in change any Trump coin that is in circulation.

A coin with Trump’s image may be par for the course in a White Nationalist Christian theocracy, but our country is still (barely) a democracy, and it’s anathema to me.

Trump Struggles to Fit Cankles Under Tiny Desk

The Resolute Desk is the most historic and iconic desk in American history. Nearly every president since Jimmy Carter has used it in the Oval Office. Donald Trump, who loves all the trappings of power, holds court behind the Resolute Desk, as he signs executive orders and lords it over White House correspondents.

Trump is a vile, vindictive, and petty little man, and it is an affront to decency for him to park his lard ass behind such a magnificent and historical piece of furniture.

The grifter-in-chief looks more natural sitting at the portable signing desk, the tiny Georgian-style wooden table typically used for bill-signing ceremonies when a large group of politicians and dignitaries needs to fit into the frame. A little desk for a little man with little imagination.

Trump, 79, grimaced while lowering his fat ass to the portable signing desk on Friday. He was honoring the Navy football team with the Commander-in-Chief’s trophy following their win against Army last December. As he went to sit down at the tiny desk to sign an executive order, he thrust out his leg for support, bending his cankle at an awkward angle. The buffoon gripped the sides of the desk to lower his bulk down. It is remarkable that the small desk remained intact; however, it is likely that the physical effort resulted in a soiled diaper.

An obese sociopath, sitting at a tiny desk, which fails to hide his fat cankles is the perfect illustration for the Trump administration, the only thing missing is a chamber pot underneath the desk.

‘Call a Boomer’ Pay Phone Connects Boomers and Zoomers

Pay phones were once ubiquitous, they were a reassuring presence on almost every city block.

In the digital age a pay phone is a novelty, an anachronism, a relic of a simpler place and time.

There is a bright yellow pay phone with the words “Call a Boomer” emblazoned on it on a busy street near Boston University. It connects with a phone located in the lobby of an affordable housing building for seniors in Reno, Nevada.

Unlike the vintage pay phones of yesteryear, this phone works without the need to insert a quarter, users on either end can pick up the phone, automatically dialing the counterpart.

These two phones are probably the most in-demand devices around: curious Zoomers will be eager to try out the vintage phone, while bored Boomers looking for conversation will not miss a chance to chat with anyone who picks up.

I am a boomer open to sharing my thoughts with younger people, especially those from Boston—I enjoy the Boston accent.

Younger generations may enjoy engaging in discussions with individuals who hold contrasting views about life overall and current events specifically.

The best things in life are free, and that includes talking on the phone with a person from a different generation.

QR Code Menus are Anathema to Boomers

Gen Z are constantly on the lookout for trendy new dining spots. They photograph their meals, post them on social media, and hope to go viral cementing their reputation as influencers and trendsetters. These hipsters seek out dining establishments with unique aesthetics, immersive atmospheres, and just the right vibe; the food itself is almost incidental.

Boomers on the other hand prize familiarity above everything else, they rotate between a handful of favorite restaurants, eschewing anything new or trendy Everyone knows their name, they’re greeted by a waitress (not server) named Betty or Norma, and they expect to see a giant wall on the clock, clean linen tablecloths and a physical menu.

They consider a QR code menu a sign of the End Times, and they will walk out of a QR code-only menu restaurant rather than scanning the code and reading the menu. These old timers think QR stands for Quite Repellent. A number of these older individuals possess older phones that are unable to scan QR codes. A menu is not essential for them, as they consistently choose the same entrée when ordering.  

For the love of God, restaurants that cater to boomers should ban laptops, gender-neutral bathrooms, fusion foods, and freaking QR code menus. Boomers have earned the right to dine in peace, ruminate over their aches and pains, enjoy their meatloaf in a coffee shop free of QR code menus.

American Evangelical Launches Billboard Campaign Across Israel: ‘Thank You God & Trump’

“Large billboards thanking President Donald Trump have appeared along major highways and central intersections in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, part of a campaign launched by the Friends of Zion Heritage Center, an evangelical organization based in Jerusalem.”

YNetNews.com

On February 28, 2006, Donald Trump, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World, initiated a large-scale aerial assault on the sovereign nation of Iran.

This immoral, illegal, and unjustifiable war has claimed the lives of over a thousand Iranian civilians, including 160 elementary school girls, has spiraled out-of-control, ignited a regional war and blown up the world economy.

You would expect religious leaders in Israel and America to speak truth to power, and denounce the fascist warmongers, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and American President Donald Trump, who perpetrated this crime against humanity.

Instead of calling upon these monsters to repent, Mike Evans, a long-time supporter of Israel and friend of Trump erected large billboards in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv with the sacrilegious message: “Thank You God and Donald Trump.”

When American evangelical Zionists and Israeli Orthodox Zionists witness the devastation caused by Israeli bombs and American missiles, they don’t weep over the indiscriminate murder of civilians in Lebanon and Iran.

Instead, they cream their pants, because according to their eschatology, the death and destruction of unbelievers will hasten the return of the Jewish messiah.

MAGA evangelicals and orthodox Jews may be thank God and Trump for attacking Iran, but the civilized world is cursing Trump.

Marco Rubio Humiliates Himself by Wearing Clown Shoes Trump Bought for Him

“President Trump has been gifting $145 Florsheim shoes to Cabinet officials and allies, with the Wall Street Journal calling them the ‘hottest MAGA status symbol.”

The Mirror

The $145 dress shoes do not reflect Trump’s generosity; instead, they indicate his stinginess. Scott Bessent, Secretary of the Treasury and multimillionaire, is known for wearing Italian leather dress shoes valued at several hundred dollars. However, like a good soldier, he wore the Florsheim shoes so as not to displease the Dear Leader.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Vice President JD Vance, and every male sycophant in his Cabinet all wore the inexpensive Florsheim shoes. Trump does not see his aides as individuals with their own sense of fashion, he sees them as subservient lackeys who might as well wear the same uniform.

Lil’ Marco Rubio looked absolutely ridiculous wearing the Florsheim shoes that were two sizes too big for him. Trump buys shoes for his employees without knowing their shoe size, and that shows how little he cares about them.

Trump’s Cabinet members do not have a spine, balls or any self-respect. What a bunch of clueless clowns. Rubio might as well don clown shoes. If Trump bought clown shoes for his Cabinet, most of them would wear them.

Kai Trump is Fair Game for Iranian Sleeper Cells

On February 28, 2006, Donald Trump, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World, initiated a large-scale aerial assault on the sovereign nation of Iran.

This immoral, illegal, and unjustifiable war has claimed the lives of over a thousand Iranian civilians, including almost 200 schoolgirls and the leader of Iran.

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader of Iran, and members of his family were killed in targeted joint U.S.-Israeli strikes in Tehran. Reports indicate his wife, daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren died in the attacks.

The two most lethal and ruthless militaries in the world, USA and Israel, enjoy air superiority over Iran, and they murder defenseless Iranians with impunity.

Iran undoubtedly has sleeper cells in America, and President Donald Trump and his family are legitimate targets. The draft dodger-in-chief is always surrounded by an army of Secret Service Agents and killing him will be no easy task even for trained terrorists.

Kai Trump, 18, is followed by Secret Service Agents, though fewer than those assigned to her grandfather, Donald Trump.

Kai recently took her 1.45 million followers inside Erewhon, an upscale grocery store in Los Angeles, while visiting California. The influencer joked about “going bankrupt” while loading her cart at the upscale supermarket.

Iranian sleeper cells should take notice that Kai has a penchant for grocery shopping at upscale stores. Though I hope Kai avoids disaster, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

My Transistor Radio from My Childhood is My Rosebud

Kids today take for granted the vast libraries of Spotify and other streaming platforms, with access to over one hundred million songs.

A child in the 1960s would have considered such a device as science fiction. Receiving a transistor radio for my ninth birthday made me feel as though I had hit the jackpot.

Those pocket-size radios looked super cool with their vibrant colors, space age styling, and leather-clad cases. Walking with my transistor radio in my pocket, I felt like an ’80s pimp carrying a boombox on their shoulder.

These ultra-portable radios looked nifty, but they had “tinny” sound quality due to small speakers. Tuning a transistor radio to get the best reception was a nightmare, it required careful adjustment, and the patience of a saint.

I enjoyed my transistor radio, often falling asleep listening to classics like Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” and Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.”

I miss my sweet little radio, good times never seemed so good. How I long for those pre-digital, pre-stereo halcyon days.

I can still see my pearly white transistor radio with a leather case; it is my Rosebud.

In Midst of War Evangelical Ministers Lay Hands on Trump in Oval Office Prayer Ceremony

On February 28, 2006, Donald Trump, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World, initiated a large-scale aerial assault on the sovereign nation of Iran.

This immoral, illegal, and unjustifiable war has claimed the lives of over a thousand Iranian civilians, and it has spiraled out-of-control, ignited a regional war and blown up the world economy.

As the US-Israeli war against Iran enters its seventh day, you would think Christian ministers would be faithful to their prophetic ministry, speak truth to power, and condemn Trump and Netanyahu for their bloodthirst, and speak out on behalf of defenseless victims.

Instead, evangelical leaders made a pilgrimage to the White House to lay hands on the warmonger commander-in-chief. Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Scavino circulated a video of this appalling and sacrilegious event. The footage of these prominent white evangelical leaders gathered around Trump with eyes closed in supplication almost made me vomit.

Pastor Tom Mullins pleaded:

“I pray for your grace and your protection over him. I pray for your grace and protection over our troops and all of our men and women serving in our armed forces.”

Mullin pleads with God to protect the pedophile president who is raining bombs and missiles on a defenseless population. How about a word or two for protection over the innocent civilians in Iran and Lebanon?

I beseech God to smite the White House with an errant missile while these evangelical clowns are praying for Trump.

Trump’s Attack on Iran is Unwarranted, Illegal and Immoral

Iran does not possess intercontinental ballistic missiles capable of reaching the continental United States. The consensus among nuclear experts is that Iran is not weeks away from producing nuclear bombs as claimed by Israel and Trump. In a 2012 address to the UN General Assembly Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu explicitly declared that Iran is weeks away from developing nuclear weapons. Since then, the warmonger has regularly warned that Iran is weeks away from having nuclear weapons. Yeah right, and Sidney Sweeney is only weeks away from accepting my marriage proposal.

In short, Iran does not pose an imminent threat to America, so why did Trump launch a massive aerial attack on the Islamic country? The ongoing military conflict against Iran is burning hundreds of billions of taxpayer money, so there must be a legitimate reason for going to war, right?

Trump has provided varying explanations for his military action against Iran. But the sad reality is that America has nothing to gain by attacking Iran, and our commander-in-chief took the extreme and unwarranted action on the behalf of Israel and to curry favor with his evangelical base.

Christian Nationalist Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and subordinates have invoked “biblical end times” rhetoric to justify involvement to troops. One officer told his troops that “Trump had been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth.”

The unstable Trump and his Christian Nationalist military officers aren’t going to hasten the return of Jesus Christ, but they may ignite a nuclear Armageddon or at least a regional war that will cost thousands of lives and blow up the world economy.

Boomer Bonus Day

April Fools’ Day is the favorite holiday of sociopaths, misanthropes and tricksters who take a perverse delight in playing practical jokes, hoaxes and pranks on their hapless friends, clueless colleagues, dim-witted acquaintances, and dementia-impaired senior citizens.

In a remarkable display of disrespect Boomer Bonus Day (BBD) is celebrated on this ignominious holiday. BBD honors boomers with special discounts, acts of kindness, and recognition. I am probably lucky that BBD does not happen every Leap Year on February 29th.

Businesses should offer boomers a special discount every day, our family should shower us with acts of kindness every day, and everyone should recognize our special qualities every day. After all, the Grim Reaper is hot on our tails and today may be the last opportunity to love on a boomer.

Circle April 1 on your calendar, and this year instead of playing a cruel joke on your favorite gullible boomer, shower them with gifts and compliments.

If my younger relatives do not make me feel special on BBD, I’ll be upset, but by the time April Fools’ Day arrives, I will forget that it is also BBD.