Woody Harrelson’s Brutal Lunch With Donald Trump and Jesse Ventura

“On Friday`s broadcast of `Real Time with Bill Maher`, the star of the upcoming Lyndon B. Johnson biopic `LBJ` explained how he was invited along to a 2002 dinner with the future president by retired pro-wrestler Jesse Ventura.

Trump was trying to convince Ventura to be his running mate on the 2004 Democratic presidential ticket, said Harrelson.

The meal itself was `brutal,` Harrelson told the show`s host, Bill Maher. `I never met a more narcissistic man. He talked about himself the whole time. You could see the standard he was going to bear.`

`I had to walk out halfway through to smoke a joint just to like steel myself from the rest of it,` he added.”

Huffington Post

Woody Harrelson has a laidback demeanor, his dinner with the paranoid conspiracy theorist Jesse Ventura and the narcissist buffoon Donald Trump was destined to be a disaster.

The meal probably didn`t start off with small talk about the weather and sports. I imagine Ventura started by opining that the wait staff was conspiring to poison their meals, and Trump responding that he would grab their waitress by the pussy before she got an opportunity to tamper with their meals.

Is it any wonder that poor Woody had to walk out halfway through to smoke a joint? An average person can`t get through a Trump speech or press conference without hitting the bong or drinking whisky.

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Sniffing Farts Can Stave Off Disease

“Hydrogen sulfide, the gas that gives farts their rotten smell, can help stave off disease.

And it`s all to do with a specific gas that is released when you pop off.

Hydrogen sulphide, the gas that gives flatulence its repulsive smell, can help reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer, and help stave off dementia, research suggests.”

The Sun

Does your co-worker in the cubicle next to you suffer from a chronic case of flatulence? You`ve complained to your supervisor, Human Resources and your union to no avail, and now you are so desperate that you`re considering poisoning his coffee. Instead of killing the flatulent fool, you should cook him beans for lunch.

After all it turns out that smelling farts reduces the risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer, and stave off dementia. Farters do more to improve our health than doctors, and instead of cursing them out we should show them some appreciation.

If your husband passes gas after sex, instead of threatening to divorce him, breathe in the fumes, and thank him for capping off the great sex with his manly fart.

It was researchers at the University of Exeter who discovered the medical benefits of sniffing farts, thank God that scientists aren`t just farting around but conducting critical research.

But seriously if a wanker farts around me I`m not going to sniff his farts in appreciation of the medical benefits, I`m going to beat him to within an inch of his life in appreciation of the psychological benefits of kicking his ass.

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Female Cyclist Flips Donald Trump the Bird! God Bless Her!

“The president of the United States is used to being saluted, but a cyclist in Virginia put her own particular slant on the tradition on Saturday when she was overtaken by Donald Trumps motorcade.

The woman on her bike was photographed raising her middle finger when Trump`s cavalcade passed her on its way out from the Trump National Golf Club on the banks of the Potomac river, on the outskirts of Washington DC. She then repeated the gesture when she caught up with the motorcade.

The White House pool report noted drily: POTUS`s motorcade departed the Trump National Golf Club at 3.12pm, passing two pedestrians, one of whom gave a thumbs-down sign. Then it overtook a female cyclist, wearing a white top and cycling helmet, who responded by giving the middle finger.

The motorcade had to slow and the cyclist caught up, still offering the finger, before turning off in a different direction. Motorcade is now gathering speed and heading for DC.”

The Guardian

There are hundreds of statues of Paul Revere on his magnificent steed, immortalizing his midnight run warning the patriots that the British were coming.

I`m an optimist and I hope that one day there will be hundreds of statues of this woman on her bicycle with her middle finger extended warning patriots that our president is a national disgrace.

This heroic woman has yet to be identified, and maybe it`s better if she isn`t, because she represents all of us who are horrified and disgusted by the short-fingered vulgarian.

This patriot on her mighty bicycle saluted Trump as his cavalcade passed her on its way out from the Trump National Golf Club. Trump spends almost every weekend at one of his golf resorts, patriots should greet him whenever he enters or leaves one of his resorts with extended middle fingers.

Flipping Trump the bird is the perfect way of demonstrating our contempt, it`s speaking in a language that he will understand, and it`s a reminder that everybody, even children, have longer fingers.

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It’s National Cat Day!

Author Terry Pratchett once said, “In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” Felines have the spark of divinity and we are overjoyed when they deign to pay us mere mortals any attention.

Our modern day religions have failed to meet our spiritual needs, maybe it`s time to worship cats like the Egyptians of old.

Catholicism is a patriarchal religion that condones pedophilia and misogyny, Evangelical Christianity`s infatuation with Trump has deprived it of all credibility, Americans love bacon too much to embrace Judaism, and of course with Islam there`s that kill infidels for Allah thing.

Now that I have offended the followers of every major religion, I assume that only enlightened souls who worship cats are still with me.

Today is National Cat Day, and we must cater to every whim of our feline masters, hmm, that`s pretty much every day for us.

Let`s use this supreme holiday to spread our faith: Tell your friends and neighbors who don`t own cats about the joys and pleasures of owning these divine creatures.

Adopt a kitty, it will change your life and save your soul!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes


Heartless Reporters Bring Their Children to White House to Meet Donald Trump

It`s a longstanding tradition for the children of the White House correspondents to visit the Oval Office for Halloween festivities.

Reporters who cover the White House are better acquainted than the rest of us with the corruption that permeates the ultimate seat of power.

Now that Donald Trump occupies the White House it`s the epicenter of evil in the world. Why in the name of everything that`s decent, holy, and pure would reporters bring their innocent children to the White House to meet Trump?

I would look more kindly on parents who offered their children as a sacrifice to Molech than on parents who took their kids to the White House to meet Trump.

Is it any wonder that the press has a lower approval rating than the most corrupt, evil and venial president in the history of the United States?

Did Trump interact with the children by dispensing pearls of wisdom and hugging them?

Bitch get real. Here`s some of the things he told them:

These are beautiful, wonderful children. You gonna grow up to be like your parents? Mmm, don`t answer. That could only get me in trouble, that question.

You have no weight problems. That`s the good news, right?

I cannot believe the media produced such beautiful children.

She is Japanese? Beautiful. She is Japane-I`m gonna be in Japan in two weeks. I`ll be in Japan.

Any person with a modicum of integrity would turn down an invitation to meet Trump, and he sure as hell wouldn`t drag his children to the White House to meet the monster.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes


Ellen DeGeneres Ogles Katy Perry’s Breasts! Shame on the Butch Lesbian!

“Ellen DeGeneres is facing backlash for tweeting a photo in honor of Katy Perry`s birthday that some social media users consider sexist.

On Wednesday, October 25, the talk show host shared a 2013 photo in which she stands beside wife Portia de Rossi and Perry as the comedian stares at the `Roar` singer`s breasts.

`Happy birthday, @KatyPerry!” DeGeneres tweeted. `It`s time to bring out the big balloons!`

While `It`s time to bring out the big balloons` is a lyric from Perry`s 2013 hit `Birthday,` fans were quick to note that DeGeneres` sharing the photo seemed like a double standard, and felt insensitive in light of the recent sexual harassment allegations made against Harvey Weinstein.”

Us Weekly

The photograph of 59-year-old butch lesbian Ellen DeGeneres ogling 33-year-old Katy Perry`s breasts while she stands beside wife Portia de Rossi is revolting and disgusting.

Imagine if Jerry Springer was staring at Katy Perry`s breasts while he stood beside his wife, or a hooker for that matter, the Twittersphere would go ballistic, calling for him to be castrated or at least pimp-slapped.

DeGeneres wasn`t caught casting a sly glance at Kerry Perry`s ample bosom, the perverted talk show host`s head was only about five inches away from the pop tart`s ample bosom, and her mouth was wide open, as if she was ready to taste her melons.

DeGeneres disrespected her wife, objectified Perry, and set back the cause of gay and lesbian rights. The talk show host is a proud lesbian who`s been embraced by mainstream America, what are they thinking now that she`s been exposed as a predatory sex-driven lesbian?

Not only did DeGeneres post the pic on Instagram, she captioned it: Bring out the big balloons! There is no shame in her game! I`ve been publicly advocating for gay and lesbian rights for well over two decades, how many liberals will join me in chastising this powerful women for treating a woman as a sex object?

See sickening pic: https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/ellen-degeneres-blasted-for-sharing-unacceptable-katy-perry-photo/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Why Do Cats Knock Things Over? Because They’re Jerks!

“Cats have their quirks, no doubt. But one of the more puzzling – and annoying – things they do is to knock stuff off tables and shelves.

Do they hate your things? Are they criticizing your home decorating skills? Or are they simply trying to drive us insane?

Truth is, it`s none of those things, although I do believe there might be a touch of vindictiveness in some of that behavior.

Animal experts say there are three reasons for this destructive and sometimes hilarious conduct. They`re bored and want attention, they`re practicing hunting, and they`re hungry.”

The Mercury News

My cats, Tico and Ebony, despise each other, and they avoid each other like the plague.

They don`t eat, sleep or play together, they unite forces only when they seem to be in a competition to see who can knock more things over.

Usually they just flick objects over, like a glass of water that`s precariously perched right on the edge of the coffee table, but Tico, who tips the scales at 25 pounds, sometimes pushes things over the coffee table or an end table.

In other words they don`t accidentally tip things over, they deliberately attempt to break my possessions.

I find cheap knick- knacks aesthetically displeasing, the only small objects that my cats can knock off my table and shelves are expensive crystal figurines. Tico has knocked over, and broken a couple of crystal candle holders, at least the candles weren`t lit.

Tico`s girth prevents him from jumping on top of my tallest book shelves and tables, and Ebony is too old to jump very high, so I place my most expensive objects on my tallest tables and shelves.

Why are my kitties and indeed all cats so destructive? They don`t knock things over to get my attention, they are very independent and barely deign to look in my direction.

They aren`t trying to hone their hunting skills, they know damn well that I will serve them gourmet cat food and treats throughout the day.

Cats are jerks, plain and simple. Adorable and fluffy, but jerks all the same. They knock things over because they are jerks.

Cat lovers have learned how to cat-proof their homes, and we gladly put up with their jerk tendencies.

The last time that Tico knocked something from the coffee table, I just picked him up, and gave him a big hug. Take that you big jerk.

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Bob Corker is Spot On! Donald Trump’s Legacy Will be the Debasement of Our Nation

“The public feud between Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.) and President Donald Trump continued to escalate on Tuesday.

The GOP senator, who warned earlier this month that Trump`s behavior could lead to World War III, told CNN that he believes the president`s legacy will be the `debasement of our nation.`

`He`s obviously not going to rise to the occasion as president,` Corker said. “I think at the end of the day, when his term is over, I think the debasing of our nation, the constant non-truth-telling, just the name-calling – I think the debasement of our nation will be what he`ll be remembered most for. And that`s regretful.`”

Huffington Post

With his flair for showmanship President Donald Trump has turned the White House into a soap opera, every day we tune into CNN or MSNBC to find out which Cabinet official is on the verge of resignation, and which politician or pundit is the target of Trump`s vitriol on Twitter.

Most Republicans are resigned to the fact that this soap opera/farce will probably run for four years, and they keep quiet through every vicious tweet and every ridiculous statement.

But there are a few statesmen in the Republican Party like Sen. Bob Corker, Sen. John McCain, and Sen. Jeff Flake who put our democracy above their party and even their own careers.

These lions of the Senate have roared against Trump`s petty behavior, vulgar language, divisive rhetoric and racist pronouncements.

Corker got down to the crux of the argument when he declared that Trump`s legacy will be the debasement of our democracy.

Trump has debased political discourse, we know that behind closed doors presidents pepper their conversation with profanity. As a young boy I remember that I was more astonished that Nixon`s tapes revealed he uttered obscenities with abandon, than I was about the disclosure that he committed felonies.

But Trump has made it acceptable for politicians and the reporters covering them to utter obscenities in public.

Trump`s constant name-calling and belittling of his opponents has desensitized us to this kind of infantile behavior. We no longer bat an eye or lift an eyebrow when Trump christens a congressman or a Senator with a derogatory moniker.

Trump has debased our foreign relations, he berates heads of states on Twitter and in private conversations.

As patriots and citizens of this great nation we mustn`t accept this “new normal,”

We must keep resisting and keep fighting until Trump is removed from office, one way or another.

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The CNN ‘This is an Apple’ Ad

“CNN launched a Facts First marketing campaign this morning. The ad features only an apple, though it`s hard to see it as other than a nuts-to-you response to Donald Trump`s campaign to brand CNN as `Fake News.`

`This is an apple,` the ad begins:

Some people might tell you that it`s a banana.

They might scream banana, banana, banana, over and over and over again.

They might put BANANA in all caps.

You might even start to believe that this is a banana.

But it`s not.

This is an apple.

Facts First.



I would love to make my own video. My ad would feature only a Jack O` Lantern.

“This is a rotten Jack O` Lantern,” my ad begins.

Some delusional cultists might tell you that it`s the president of the United States.

They might scream president, president, over and over again, demanding that you grant him respect commensurate with his office.


You might even start to believe that this grotesque orange buffoon deserves to be treated with respect.

But he`s not entitled to any respect.

He`s a rotten orange freak.

The truth hurts.

Robert Paul Reyes

Link to video:


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Life-Size Trump Scarecrow At California Elementary Schools Scares Bejesus Out of Kids

“Parents are divided after a scarecrow depicting President Donald Trump was put up as part of a class project on the Santa Clarita Elementary School campus.

`No matter what your political affiliation is, this was 100% inappropriate for elementary students to see at Santa Clarita Elementary today!!` a Facebook post about the scarecrow read.

But some parents weren`t upset with the scarecrow.

`If only I could be so lucky to have someone like her teaching my children every year!!!,` said one parent with children taught by the teacher named in the original post. `Shame on the people who badmouth her and don`t even know her, nor do they even have a child in her classroom!!!!`


The school was provided with scarecrows for each class. Under the supervision of a teacher each class decided how to decorate their scarecrows.

The teacher whose young charges decided to dress one of the scarecrows as Donald Trump should be commended for reminding her students, with a clever Halloween decoration, that there`s evil in the world. Sometimes there is a bogeyman under year bed, a pedophile in a trench coat lurking near a public school, and a racist buffoon in the White House.

Creating a Trump scarecrow is the easiest thing in the world: Find a rotting pumpkin to represent his head, an empty suit to represent his torso, and Barbie hands.

It`s incumbent upon teachers and parents to teach our children that the profane, vulgar, mean-spirited and imbecile president doesn`t deserve our respect.

Get with the damn program and place your own Trump scarecrow on your font lawn this Halloween.

Pic of Trump scarecrow:


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