Donald Trump Lays an Egg: Commemorative Gold Easter Egg $14.95

“The White House released images of the commemorative eggs that will be available for purchase to celebrate the annual White House Easter Egg roll.

Pastel versions of the official egg are $8.50. A gold version is $14.95.

The eggs will feature the signature of President Trump and First lady Melania Trump.”

The American Mirror

Donald Trump really laid an egg with his commemorative Easter eggs …

I`m surprised the White House is selling pastel commemorative Easter eggs, I would expect anything associated with Trump to be as loud and garish as his pumpkin face. A neon orange Easter egg branded with Donald Trump`s name, including a trademark symbol, that`s what I was expecting.

The gold egg isn`t real gold, Trump`s bathroom fixtures may be made out of pure gold, but he dishes out trinkets of faux gold to the peasants.

I would buy a gold Humpty Dumpty egg, that would be a perfect representation of Donald Trump.

Pics of presidential eggs:

http://www.theamericanmirror.com/reporters-mock-gold-white-house-easter-eggs-silent-obama-sold/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Robot Prints and Burns Donald Trump’s Tweets, Sends Him Video! I Love Robots!

“A robot quickly growing a viral following on Twitter is dedicated to one job: Printing President Donald Trump`s tweets, burning them, and tweeting video of the process back to the president.

The Twitter account, @burnedyourtweet, stars a robot programmed to print out tweets from the president`s @realdonaldtrump account, burn them in an ashtray, film the process, and then tweets the videos to Trump with the message: I burned your tweet.”

UPI

If only Trump`s tweets existed only in printed form, and they could be destroyed in a bonfire. Unfortunately, Trump tweets exist in a digital format, and they are indestructible. His odious tweets will live forever, causing discord and division for generations to come.

Who is the mystery engineer behind this project?

I first thought “it must be a Trump critic seeking to discredit and embarrass his administration,” but maybe it`s a Trump supporter desperately attempting to shame the president from tweeting. After all, it may very well be a tweet that leads to Trump`s downfall. The “I” word has already been mentioned in the press after Trump posted a tweet falsely accusing Barack Obama of committing a felony by wiretapping Trump Tower.

The best case scenario is that Trump will post a tweet that`s so incendiary that it will lead to his impeachment, but it`s also possible that one of his inflammatory tweets will trigger nuclear Armageddon.

I wish a patriot would break into the White House (How difficult can that be considering the Secret Service resembles the Keystone Kops?), and breaks Trump`s tiny hands with a ruler when he attempts to tweet.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Bill O’Reilly Jokes About Maxine Waters’ James Brown Wig, Internet Goes Bonkers!

“When conservative Fox News host Bill O`Reilly was asked during an appearance on `Fox & Friends` to comment on U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters` impassioned remarks about President Donald Trump`s policies, O`Reilly said he hadn`t heard a word she`d said because of her `James Brown wig.`”

AJC.Com

When I turn on a cable news channel and I hear Donald Trump`s belligerent, bellicose and infantile rhetoric I tune him out. Maxine Waters can match Trump insult for insult, when I hear her rant on TV I also quickly tune her out.

When I looked up the video on YouTube where Waters was blasting Trump`s policies, I was also distracted by her ridiculous James Brown wig.

James Brown is probably spinning in his grave, and screaming: I may have died over a decade ago, but I still look better than Waters, old hag better take that damn wig off.

Trump`s unique hair has been brutally mocked by comics, pundits, and politicians, but you don`t hear conservatives scream ageism or sexism. It`s almost impossible to watch CNN or MSNBC for more than an hour without hearing a journalist or a politician ridicule trump`s hair, skin complexion or tiny hands, but criticize a black woman`s hair and you`re treated like a racist and sexist pariah.

I`m sure Maxine`s skin is as thick as her James Brown wig, we should stop patronizing her and treating her like a fragile little thing.

O`Reilly`s joke is par for the course in the tough world of politics, Maxine doesn`t need any help dealing with obnoxious political commentators or snarky bloggers.

Read More:

http://buzz.blog.ajc.com/2017/03/28/bill-oreilly-calls-us-rep-maxine-waters-hair-a-james-brown-wig-and-twitter-let-him-have-it/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Sits at Child-Size Desk, Internet Goes Bonkers!

“Prime meme material! President Donald Trump signed bills while sitting at a child-size desk Monday, March 27, and Twitter had so many jokes about the situation.

The POTUS, 70, was signing four new pieces of legislation in the Roosevelt Room of the White House when he remarked that the desk wasn`t quite up to his standards. `This looks like a child`s desk! But that`s OK,` he told the crowd of people towering over him.

Although the desk has been used by presidents before him, Trump, who is 6-foot-2, joked that the small wooden table with a full-size presidential seal on the front wasn`t big enough.

Us Magazine

Pic of Trump`s tiny desk:

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/donald-trump-sits-at-child-size-desk-twitter-reacts-w473899

Trump may have mocked the tiny desk, but he would be well-advised to use it regularly, it makes his diminutive hands look normal.

In a perfect world the septuagenarian president would be safely ensconced in a nursing home, where the nursing staff would provide him with a small desk with a presidential seal affixed to it so he could play at being president.

Unfortunately, in our far from perfect world Trump is the Leader of the Free World and he is busying himself signing executive orders with his tiny hands at his tiny desk, that are having a hugely adverse impact on our democracy.

We can only hope and pray that we live in a simulated reality, and that our alien programmers will introduce a Deus ex machina plot device whereby Trump finds himself in permanent time-out in the White House basement sitting at his tiny desk, and Mike Pence is sworn in as the new president.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Mexicans Who Help Build Donald Trump’s Wall Are Traitors, Mexican Archdiocese Says

“Mexicans who help build President Donald Trumps planned border wall would be acting immorally and should be deemed traitors, the Catholic Archdiocese of Mexico said on Sunday, turning up the heat on a simmering dispute over the project.

In a provocative editorial, the country`s biggest Archdiocese sought to increase pressure on the government to take a tougher line on companies aiming to profit from the wall, which has strained relations between Trump and the Mexican government.

`Any company intending to invest in the wall of the fanatic Trump would be immoral, but above all, its shareholders and owners should be considered traitors to the homeland,` said the editorial in Desde la fe, the Archdiocese`s weekly publication.”

Huffington Post

Donald Trump has defamed Mexico frequently since his first day on the campaign trail. In his announcement speech he called Mexican immigrants rapists and criminals, and throughout his campaign he rallied his supporters by demonizing Mexicans.

Trump`s hatred of Mexicans is so deep that he even has animus towards Americans of Mexican descent. Trump called U. S. District Judge Gonzalo Curiel a “Mexican” who may be biased against him because of his ethnicity. Judge Curiel was born in the United States, and alleging that a citizen is incapable of performing his job because of his racial background is the very definition of racism.

The Catholic Archdiocese of Mexico is spot on, any Mexican who helps build the wall separating the United States from Mexico is a traitor to his homeland.

I would argue that any Mexican-American who supports Trump`s wall is a traitor to his racial heritage, and to the democratic principles of our great democracy.

We are a nation of immigrants, and I implore my fellow Americans of all ethnicities to join their Hispanic brothers and sisters in opposing Trump`s proposed wall.

The wall is an affront to the Almighty and to our democracy, and it`s incumbent upon all of us to fight against this abomination.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-border-wall-mexico_us_58d8894ee4b02a2eaab52799

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Jewelry Store’s ‘Throw Rocks at Girls’ Billboard Creates Backlash

“A North Carolina jewelry store apologized to anyone offended by a billboard bearing a controversial message: Sometimes, it`s OK to throw rocks at girls.

The billboard, which featured the words surrounded by precious stones, sparked a backlash on social media when it was erected by Spicer Greene Jewelers in Asheville.

UPI

This controversial billboard fosters a culture of violence against women. It`s never OK to joke around that it`s permissible to perpetrate acts of violence against women.

Leaving aside the imagery of violence against women as a marketing tool, this odious billboard implies that women are superficial creatures who can be bought off with precious stones.

After the strong social media backlash the owners apologized and promised to donate ten percent of sales through Sunday to Helpmate, a local domestic violence shelter.

Anybody who jokes about throwing rocks at girls has a caveman mentality, boycott Spicer Greene Jewelers in Asheville.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/27/Jewelry-stores-throw-rocks-at-girls-billboard-irks-locals/5021490643963/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=5

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

United Airlines Bans Young Girls From Flight For Wearing Leggings

“At least two girls wearing leggings were barred from boarding a United Airlines flight on Sunday because they did not meet a dress code for special pass travelers, the company said in a statement on Twitter amid a social media furor.

According to a series of tweets by another traveler, Shannon Watts, the girls were required to change or put dresses on over their leggings before they were allowed to board their flight from Denver to Minneapolis.”

Reuters

Leggings or yoga pants accentuate a female`s vagina, this article of clothing creates a camel toe which is considered at the least a minor fashion faux pas, and at the worst an obscene spectacle.

Leggings and yoga pants are banned by many public schools for the obvious reason that this revealing attire is a combustible mix in a classroom exploding with hormones. Simply stated they are not conducive to a productive learning environment.

Yoga pants are also a combustible ingredient in an airplane, after being groped by a TSA agent, and struggling to fit my luggage in the overhead compartment, the last thing I need is to sit next to a fat woman sporting a camel toe from hell.

I actually heard a woman on TV complain that the United Airlines policy is sexist and sexualizes young girls. One of the girls who was barred from the flight was only ten, excuse me but the parents who allow their young daughter to wear leggings are the ones who are sexualizing the young girl.

Yoga pants should only be worn in a yoga studio by women in perfect physical condition, they shouldn`t be worn anywhere else, and certainly not by young girls.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Why did Hillary Spend $600 On a Haircut? Who’s She Trying to Impress? Huma Abedin?

 

“On International Women`s Day earlier this month, Hillary Clinton wore a red pantsuit and bangs to give a speech at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C.

Allure online headlined the event: Hillary Clinton`s Haircut Is Taking the Internet By Storm.

A week later, Hillary stopped traffic on New York`s Fifth Avenue as she came out of the Bergdorf Goodman hair salon, where she got a $600 dye job and a $600 haircut.

The bangs were gone and her hair was several shades lighter.”

Townhall

Most septuagenarian ladies don`t care how they look, they will occasionally go to the hair salon to dye their hair blue, but that`s about the only attempt they make to look presentable.

Hillary Clinton may be older than dirt, but she still spends a lot of money to improve her appearance. God only knows how much she spends on formaldehyde to keep her decrepit body from decomposing.

Why did Hillary spend $600 on a dye job, and $600 on a haircut? Who is she trying to impress?

We know it`s not Slick Willy, they haven`t had sex in decades, and anyway Hillary only has eyes for the ladies.

Could it be that she wants to look good for the electorate? Lord I hope she`s not planning another presidential run.

Let`s hope and pray Hillary got all gussied up for the love of her life, Huma Abedin.

Read More:

https://townhall.com/columnists/edklein/2017/03/21/hillarys-new-lookand-what-it-means-n2302123

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Dude Eats Scrambled Eggs in Middle of Busy Street

“He pulled up a chair to a portable table and poured syrup over the golden pancakes.

He wore patterned green pajama pants and fuzzy-trimmed slippers and was set to enjoy breakfast. The only problem? He was in the middle of a busy Central Florida street.

He had a bottle of syrup and pancakes with what appeared to be bacon and scrambled eggs on a plate in front of him. He was chowing down.

 
Police said the man left before officers arrived, but they later found a video of the breakfast break on Facebook, where several people had tagged the alleged eater.”

Orlando Sentinel

I`m an emotionally-balanced gentleman who isn`t prone to road rage, but if I see a wanker eating breakfast in the middle of a busy street, he`s toast.

If I`m on my way to work and there`s a performance artist/prankster sitting on a chair in the middle of the road chowing down on scrambled eggs and bacon, I will turn art critic and mow him down, and you won`t be able to tell the scrambled eggs from the scrambled brains.

The moron was cited on charges of placing an obstruction in the middle of the roadway and disrupting the free flow of traffic. If he tries performance art in jail by sitting naked in the communal shower, he will be walking bowlegged for the rest of his life.

Link to video:

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-florida-man-pancakes-arrest-20170324-story.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Outrage: Sarah Silverman Attacked Donald Trump Because He Asked If Her Boobs Were Real

“Sarah Silverman said Donald Trump once inquired after her breasts, something that would be shocking if we had the capacity to be shocked by that kind of stuff anymore. In a tweet, Silverman said the now-President asked comedian and Roastmaster Jeff Ross if her tits were real, noting that they are, not that it`s Trump`s-or anyone`s-business.”

AV Club

Sarah Silverman should be flattered that anyone inquired after her breasts, her big mouth distracts men from noticing any other part of her anatomy.

Silverman could be delivering her stand-up routine buck naked, and I wouldn`t even sneak a peek at her coochie.

When Silverman first started out in comedy she had that nerdy Jewish girl thing going for her, and she was adorable if not very funny.

In the last couple of years Sarah has taken to wearing sexy attire, I`m sick and tired of her cleavage-exposing shirts.

Silverman failed Comedy 101:

Women suck at stand-up comedy.

The only successful (funny) female comics were homely as hell. Witness Phyllis Diller, Moms Mably, Roseanne Barr.

Parting shot: Sarah, if you don`t want men remarking on your boobs, stop flashing them.

http://www.avclub.com/article/sarah-silverman-says-donald-trump-once-asked-jeff–252691

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

MARCH 2017 ARCHIVES PAGE TWO:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/march-2017-archives-page-two/

Donald Trump Gets Behind the Wheel of a Big Rig and the Internet Goes Nuts

“Yes, it happened – at the White House. US President Donald Trump was rallying votes for his health care reform bill Thursday but made a pit stop in the afternoon to meet with truck drivers and trucking executives.

During that meeting, he spent a few minutes happily exploring the cab of a tractor-trailer parked outside the White House.

The 70-year-old Republican, dressed in a suit, enthusiastically honked the horn before pretending to drive the vehicle and making some funny faces – and the internet noticed, with #TrumpTruck getting some traction on Twitter.”

News.Com. Au

President Donald Trump got behind the wheel of a big rig and the Internet went bonkers.

My thoughts:

I don`t know what`s more ludicrous Trump playing president or Trump playing truck driver.

How was Trump able to get his tiny hand to sound the air horn?

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. When I was a child I really wanted to get behind the wheel of a big truck and blow the horn, but I grew up and pursued more worthwhile goals. Grow up Trump!

The images of Trump inside the cab of the tractor-trailer reminded me of the corny country classic “Convoy” by C.W. McCall. Trump is leading a convoy driving down the path to hell.

Trump was making funny faces while pretending to drive the semi truck, we`re all making funny faces while Trump pretends to govern the country.

Trump will become a real truck driver before his wreck of a health care plan becomes law.

Read More:

http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/trumps-truck-driver-moment/news-story/cab84861db83510a822a60c0e946b898

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Jr Blasts London Mayor After Terrorist Attack

“`You have to be kidding me?!` Mr. Trump said Wednesday afternoon on Twitter, as details of the episode – which left at least five dead, including the assailant, and 40 injured – continued to unfold. The message continued, `Terror attacks are part of living in big city, says London Mayor Sadiq Khan.`

Mr. Trump, the oldest son of President Trump, was calling attention to an article from September in The Independent, a British newspaper, that described Mr. Khan`s reaction to a bombing then in the Chelsea neighborhood of New York City.

Mr. Trump mischaracterized the London mayor`s remarks. Mr. Khan did not describe terrorism as `part of living in a big city,` as if bombings and shootings were an inescapable fact of life. He said that terrorism preparedness, including providing sufficient support to the police, was `part and parcel of living in a great global city.`”

New York Times

The rotten apple doesn`t fall far from the tree, Donald Trump Jr. shares his father`s obsession with posting misleading and controversial tweets.

First of all, as the excerpt of the New York Times article shows, Junior twisted the London mayor`s remarks. Mr. Khan didn`t describe terrorism as “part of living in a big city,” his statement was more nuanced and diplomatic.

Although I would argue that terrorism is “part of living in a big city,” there is no way in hell that authorities can prevent a terrorist from mowing down people with a vehicle.

Secondly, Trump gave the impression that the mayor uttered the remarks in the aftermath of the March, 22, 2017 London attack, when in fact he delivered his comments after the September 2016 Chelsea bombing.

But at least Junior didn`t refer to the mayor of London as “the bad Muslim mayor of London,” his father would have pointed out the mayor`s religion.

Word of advice for all the Trumps:

After the next terrorist attack go with a generic Tweet: My thoughts and prayers are with the victims …

Read More: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/22/us/politics/donald-trump-jr-criticizes-london-mayor-after-deadly-attack.html?_r=0

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Japanese Town Offering Discount Funerals for Seniors Who Give Up Driving

“A Japanese town is offering elderly drivers discount funerals as an incentive to give up their licenses — and hopefully delay their own memorials.

The Ichinomiya Police Department is partnering with the Heiankaku funeral home, which has 89 locations in Aichi prefecture, to offer 15 percent discounts on funeral services for elderly residents who agree to forfeit their driver`s licenses.

Recent statistics released by prefecture police indicated drivers over the age of 75 were blamed for 13 percent of the prefecture`s fatal traffic collisions in 2016.

UPI

Kudos to the Japanese town of Heiankaku for trying to convince elderly drivers to forfeit their driver`s licenses.

The elderly are a menace on the road; they tend to drive huge cars; they impede the flow of traffic by driving too damn slow, and their motor skills are too slow to react to quickly changing traffic conditions.

As soon as a driver reaches the age of 65 his license should be revoked, and as compensation he should be granted a 25 percent discount on Uber.

The only motorized vehicle a person over age 65 should drive is a Hoveround scooter.

Whenever there is an accident involving a senior citizen and a normal driver, the police offer should always assume the old person is at fault.

In a perfect world our highways and byways would be senior citizen free zones.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/22/Japanese-town-offering-discount-funerals-for-seniors-who-give-up-driving/9751490209125/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=4

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Pussy Riot’s Nadya Hates Putin and Trump

“When it comes to defiance, Nadya Tolokonnikova of Russian punk band Pussy Riot could be considered a pro.

In 2012, Pussy Riot staged a guerilla performance at the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow. The show mocked Vladimir Putin and the Russian Orthodox Church, which led to Tolokonnikova and fellow bandmate Maria Alekhina receiving a two-year prison sentence.”

Huffington Post

Nadya Tolokkonnikova of the punk band Pussy Riot is one woman serial pussy-grabber Donald Trump doesn`t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. (Not that tiny hands Trump even knows what a ten-foot pole looks like.)

Nadya has a long and distinguished history of resisting the tyrannical rule of Vladimir Putin, and in an opinion piece she wrote for Foreign Policy she offers some tips to her American cousins on how we can resist Donald Trump, whom she calls a “stupid ape.”

She argues that Putin and Trump are alike; they are thin-skinned egomaniacs who lash out at every perceived slight. Putin has no restraints on his power, he imprisons and even kills his enemies, Trump has to operate within the constraints of a democracy, but he`s still a dangerous person.

It`s our moral imperative to resist tyranny whether we live in an oligarchy or a democracy.

Many Democrats are under the delusion that judging by the colossal mistakes Trump has made in only two months in power, that he will soon be impeached.

But Nadya warns us to be prepared for a long and bitter fight, we may be stuck with Trump for four, or God forbid, eight years.

Putin may be a ruthless dictator, but he`s a patriot and he always has the best interests of the Russian Federation, Trump on the other hand only cares about growing his personal wealth and protecting his brand.

Americans are worse off under Trump than Russians are under Putin, and we must resist Trump by any means necessary.

Read More:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pussy-riot-advice-donald-trump-putin_us_58d01dc1e4b00705db51953a

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

For the Good of the Country Twitter Should Ban Donald Trump

“Andrew Napolitano`s wiretapping allegations seem to have gotten him pulled off the air on Fox News.

Just Last week, Napolitano appeared on `Fox & Friends` and weighed in on President Trump`s allegation that former President Obama had him wiretapped.

`Three intelligence sources have informed Fox News that President Obama went outside the chain of command…`

`He used GCHQ. What the heck is GCHQ? That`s the initials for the British spying agency.`

This claim was then repeated by the White House.”
AOL News

Andrew Napolitano has been with Fox News almost since its inception, and he has a long history of disseminating conspiracy theories. We`re all familiar with his type, they usually sit at the end of the bar babbling about Alex Jones as if they were quoting Scripture.

Napolitano has effectively been suspended by Fox News, he was absent as a legal analyst for Supreme Court Nominee Neil Gorsuch`s Senate hearing.

Donald Trump has a lot in common with the loud guy at the bar and Napolitano, he loves conspiracy theories and he has no reservations about sharing them on social media.

Unfortunately, when the President of the United States spreads unsubstantiated allegations and crazy conspiracy theories on Twitter he diminishes his presidency, confuses the electorate, and tarnishes the international reputation of our great country.

In just over a couple of months Trump has severely weakened his presidency with his pathological lying, and spurious allegations against his political opponents.

Accusing former president Barack Obama of a felony without a shred of evidence was beyond the pale, and it has sown the seed that will lead to Trump`s eventual impeachment.

Napolitano was suspended by Fox News for impugning the integrity of a British spy agency, I wish Twitter would suspend Trump for spreading lies.

Read More:
https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/03/21/fox-reportedly-pulls-andrew-napolitano-from-air-after-wiretappin/21904088/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Congratulations On Your Weight Loss Lena Dunham!

“Dunham`s row with Hilton came just days after she debuted her slimmer figure at the opening of personal trainer Tracy Anderson`s flagship studio in New York. She responded to the public celebrating and condemning her weight loss in a lengthy post.

`I`ve accepted that my body is an ever changing organism, not a fixed entity- what goes up must come down and vice versa. I smile just as wide no matter my current size because I`m proud of what this body has seen and done and represented,` the Girls star wrote.

`My weight loss isn`t a triumph and it also isn`t some sign I`ve finally given into the voices of trolls. Because my body belongs to ME–at every phase, in every iteration, and whatever I`m doing with it, I`m not handing in my feminist card to anyone,” she asserted.”

UPI

Dunham is correct, her body belongs to her, but as an entertainer it`s incumbent upon her to maintain a pleasing weight so as to not gross out her fans every time she makes a public appearance.

But she`s incorrect in her assertion that her weight loss isn`t a triumph, maintaining an aesthetically-pleasing figure is a personal triumph. Losing tons of excess weight that leads to myriad health conditions is a triumph. Shedding ugly pounds is a sign of discipline and it`s a triumph over sloth and apathy.

A fat person smiling at his girth makes as much sense as an alcoholic smiling at his tremors.

Lena, you`ve earned the right to smile! Smile, girlfriend, smile!

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/TV/2017/03/20/Lena-Dunham-dismisses-fashion-criticism-I-try-at-a-lot-of-things/1541490026652/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=11

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Permissive Parents Allow Toddlers From Hell to Engage in Unholy Tomfoolery

“Jonathan and Susana Balkin said their Nest home monitoring system was recording in the bedroom of 2-year-old identical twins Andrew and Ryan when the boys decided to climb out of their beds for some rowdy playtime March 13.

`My wife and I just heard a lot of giggling and playing so we were just eavesdropping on them for a little while and we didn`t want to disturb them because they were having so much fun,` Jonathan Balkin told Global News.

`We ended up spying on them for a little while on the camera just to make sure they weren`t getting into trouble,` Balkin told NBC`s Today. `Then after a while we decided, OK, it`s time to intervene and put them to bed. That didn`t really work out so well.`”

UPI

Jonathan and Susana Balkin have absolutely no shame; they willingly shared a video with the world that exposes their awful parenting.

If I was the parents of toddlers, and I witnessed them climbing out of their cribs to roughhouse after midnight, I would spank the Bejesus out of them.

These clueless parents didn`t want to disturb them, because they were having so much fun. There is a time and a place for everything, midnight isn`t the time for toddlers to have fun.

I wonder if these evil twins set the drapes on fire, will they hesitate to intervene because they are having so much fun?

These hapless parents cleaned up their room, and put them back into their beds, and of course they went right back to their tomfoolery.

I would have made the toddlers clean their room, spanked the hell out of them, and believe me they would have bit their lips and gone to sleep like little angels.

Read More: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/20/Bedtime-averse-twin-toddlers-stave-off-sleep-with-two-man-dance-party/9521490030125/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Angela Merkel’s Bewilderment at the Entity Known as Donald Trump

“Angela Merkel`s facial expressions illustrate global bewilderment at Trump.”

Slate.com

As a writer I value words over photographs and videos, but a picture is worth a thousand words and these photos of Chancellor Angela Merkel`s facial expressions perfectly encapsulate the world`s bewilderment at Donald Trump.

I could write a 1,000 word thesis on the rise of Donald Trump as evidence that we live in a simulated reality, and that the God/Programmer has a really wicked sense of humor.

But I will spare myself hours of writing and editing, and simply implore you to click the link at the bottom of this page. Angela Merkel is every citizen of the world.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Images of Angela Merkel`s bewilderment at Trump:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/03

Epic Las Vegas Street Fight Between Dude Wearing Eeyore Onesie and a Guitarist

“A shocking brawl between a man holding a guitar and another man dressed in a Eeyore onesie was captured on video.

The clip of the men was taken in Las Vegas, Nevada.”

Daily Mail

What happens in Vegas doesn`t always stay in Vegas, especially when it`s an epic street fight between a man brandishing a guitar and a freak dressed in a Eeyore onesie.

If a Winnie-the-Pooh fan sees this video, the poor kid will need a lifetime of therapy. For God`s sake parents, don`t let your children watch this abomination.
I would have bet against the dude wearing a onesie, it`s axiomatic that only babies and pitiful wankers wear onesies. But the onesie dude slammed the guitar dude to the ground, knocking him out dead cold.

After the costumed gentleman dispatched the guitar wimp, a woman rushed up to the costumed man, kicked him and punched him. Every pushover needs a woman like that backing him up.

The street guitarist is the one who struck the first blow by hitting Eeyore with his guitar, I hope he can play the guitar better than he can swing the guitar.

This lame fight needed to be left in Vegas.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4330240/Video-shows-bizarre-fight-two-men-Vegas-Strip.html#ixzz4brx4U2vP
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Wants to Kill Meals on Wheels

There should be a special place reserved in hell for scammers who target the most vulnerable segment of our population, the elderly.

Con artists who are convicted of fleecing the elderly should be treated like child molesters behind bars, they should walk out of the Big House bowlegged and terrified of taking a shower.

Which brings us to the greatest flimflam artist of our times, Donald Trump. He basically bullshitted his way into the White House, and now he`s crapping all over the poor and the elderly.

The president just released his budget proposal that slashes federal funding from multiple programs that aid the elderly and poor.

The orange bastard wants to eliminate funding for a government program that partially funds local Meals on Wheels programs. Meals on Wheels is considered sacrosanct by Republicans, Democrats, and anybody with a beating heart. Only a Scrooge, the Antichrist or a monster with a really deep hatred for the elderly would kill Meals on Wheels.

Meals on Wheels delivers nutritional meals to the elderly and to the disabled who are housebound. The only social interaction that many of these disabled and elderly have is with the Meals on Wheels volunteers.

Trump`s $1.15 trillion budget proposal seeks a humongous increase in military and other security spending while slashing spending on social welfare programs that benefit the poor and disadvantaged.

Trump is building up the military to compensate for his micropenis; he should get a penis transplant and leave the poor and elderly the hell alone.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Billboard Depicts Donald Trump, Nazi-like Symbols! Masterpiece!

“A billboard depicting President Donald Trump`s face next to explosions and dollar signs created with typography imitating Nazi swastikas went up in downtown Phoenix on Friday afternoon.

The back of the billboard shows five fists forming sign language letters with the word `unity` beneath the fists.”

The Arizona Republic

Regardless if you are a Republican, Democrat or an Independent, we should all agree that this controversial billboard is an expression of free speech, and it should not be taken down.

This masterpiece perfectly captures the cluelessness of Donald Trump, he seems oblivious to the nuclear explosions going off behind him. Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, Trump will be tweeting and contemplating why God cursed him with tiny hands while the world burns.

The dollar signs created with typography imitating Nazi swastikas are a stroke of brilliance that perfectly captures Trump`s unholy amalgamation of Nationalist fascism, unbridled capitalism and unchecked power.

This billboard is a clarion call, the time to take action against Trump is now before his rhetorical Twitter bombs ignite nuclear explosions.

Pic of billboard:

http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2017/03/17/billboard-depicts-trump-nazi-like-symbols-karen-fiorito/99326126/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Grandmothers Knit Sweaters for Chickens

“Residents of a Massachusetts retirement home knitted sweaters for the chilly chickens living on a nearby estate — and their owners say egg production is up.”

UPI

You`re a young child and you rip open grandma`s large Christmas package with eagerness and anticipation only to discover a sweater that she lovingly knitted for you.

For the rest of your life you dream about suffocating the old hag with her sweater or poking out her eyes with a knitting needle, rendering her incapable of knitting any more sweaters.

For eons grandmothers have been knitting sweaters for their loved ones, and for eons we`ve been ignoring those sweaters, wearing them only when she comes to visit.

Let`s pray and hope that this grandmas knitting sweaters for chickens thing catches on, and henceforth they will only knit sweaters for critters that appreciate their handiwork.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

McDonald’s Twitter Account Mocks Donald Trump’s Tiny Hands

“The McDonald`s Twitter account on Thursday sent a quickly deleted message calling President Donald Trump a `disgusting excuse of a president.`

The tweet, which came from the fast-food giant`s official corporate account, also said the company would love to have Barack Obama back as president, and that Trump has `tiny hands,` the Associated Press reports.

Shortly after the tweet was posted, McDonald`s said it was notified by Twitter that its account had been compromised. `Twitter notified us that our account was compromised. We deleted the tweet, secured our account and are now investigating this,` McDonald`s wrote.”

Time

You`d think a billionaire would dine only on filet mignon, caviar and lobster, but actually Donald Trump loves fast food, and he once starred in a McDonald`s commercial.

I don`t know how Trump can get his tiny hands around a Big Mac, he probably has an assistant cut the giant burger into smaller portions that he can pick up.

Contrary to the Time magazine article, McDonald`s didn`t quickly delete the message calling Trump a “disgusting excuse of a president.” The offensive Tweet was online for over an hour before it was finally deleted. If McDonald`s Twitter account was really compromised, and the hacker posted a tweet claiming that the Big Whopper was superior to the Big Mac, I guarantee that message would be deleted in a New York minute.

Maybe Trump will get revenge by attacking McDonald`s on Twitter and by doing a commercial for White Castle, he shouldn`t have any problems holding a White Castle slider with his diminutive hands.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Condemns Snoop Dogg Satirical Video

“A satirical music video featuring the rapper Snoop Dogg and a clown called Ronald Klump is the latest piece of pop culture drawing the attention and ire of President Trump.

On Wednesday, in yet another of his trademark early morning Twitter bursts, the president took the extraordinary step of invoking `jail time!` in response to the clip, which depicts Snoop Dogg pointing a toy pistol toward the Klump character. When the rapper pulls the trigger, a sign that says “bang” drops from the barrel in the style of classic prank guns; Klump is later shown in chains.”

New York Times

This article is a follow-up to my previous essays:

Snoop Dogg shoots Evil Clown Donald Trump in New Video

http://thesop.org/story/20170313/snoop-dogg-shoots-evil-clown-donald-trump-in-new-video.html

Marco Rubio Slams Donald Trump Over Music Video Depicting Mock Donald Trump Assassination

http://thesop.org/story/20170314/marco-rubio-slams-snoop-dogg-over-music-video-depicting-mock-trump-assassination.html

I knew that it was only a matter of time before Donald Trump would express his outrage on Twitter at Snoop Dogg for his anti-Trump video.

Any institution or individual who ridicules or criticizes Trump is branded as “failing” by the think-skinned president. The rap icon may be many things including a stoner, but he`s not failing as an entertainer by any sense of the word.

Donald Trump loves celebrities, and he was crushed when all the A-list celebs declined to perform at his inauguration. Trump was happier and more satisfied when he was firing contestants on “Celebrity Apprentice,” than he is serving as president of the United States.

When a celebrity like Meryl Streep, Rosie O`Donnell or Snoop Dogg criticizes Trump it really cuts him to the bone.

The only one who is failing is Trump, Snoop doesn`t tolerate any Oompa Loompa clowns, and neither do most Americans.

Read More:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/15/arts/music/snoop-dogg-trump-video-gun.html?_r=0

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Rachel Maddow: Most Epic Fail in Cable News History

For a few moments MSNBC`s Rachel Maddow was in a position that she`s unfamiliar with: At the center of the political world.

With a single tweet, Maddow became the Coc*tease Queen of Cyberspace:

We`ve got Trump`s tax returns … (Seriously)

Trump haters and political junkies were salivating at the prospect that Maddow was going to bring down the Trump administration by exposing his shady business dealings live on her program.

Maddow`s butch lesbian vibe and didactic presentation aren`t my cup of tea — not that there`s anything wrong with butch lesbians or ponderous speakers. But even I was waiting with bated breath for the big reveal.

MSNBC even stole a page from the CNN playbook, running a countdown clock on its screen counting down the minutes to a “Trump Taxes Exclusive.”

All eyes were on Maddow even though it was actually another reporter`s exclusive, the two pages from Trump`s 2005 federal tax return were mailed to David Cay Johnston, author of the book, “The Making of Donald Trump.”

Maddow`s publicity stunt was such an epic fail that commentators were wondering if Trump had leaked his own tax returns. The only thing we learned is that Trump made a lot of money and paid a lot in taxes,Trump couldn`t ask for better publicity or a bigger diversion from his TrumpCare disaster.

These hashtags were trending on Twitter after Maddow`s epic fail: #GeraldoRivera, #AlCapone, #LebronJames, #bitchgotplayed, #MSNBCsucks, #exclusivemyass, #fakenews

That tells you everything you need to know about the most epic fail in cable news history.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes