Oldest Living Person in the World Says Life is a Punishment

“A woman purported to be the oldest living person ever at 128 says she hasn`t lived a single happy day in her life and her longevity is a punishment.

The Russian government claims Koku Istambulova is the world`s oldest person.

But she has bluntly said her longevity was God`s will and she did nothing to make it happen.

While some people chalk it up to a healthy or active lifestyle, tired Koku said: `I have no idea how I lived until now.`

Due to turn 129 in two weeks, she added: `I have not had a single happy day in my life.`”

Mirror

Usually when a sweet old lady reaches a milestone birthday, it`s presented as a “good news” story, and a photo of a smiling centenarian (probably a stock photo) accompanies the article.

The woman is quoted attributing her longevity to prayer, a healthy diet, or good genes. Inevitably she thanks God for a long life, and wishes she could stick around for a decade longer.

Koku Istambulova don`t play that, homegirl keeps it real. The world`s oldest living person claims she hasn`t had a happy day in her life. She says she`s tired, and has no idea how she`s lived so long.

I can`t begin to imagine the horror of living to the age of 128; I would be begging the Good Lord or the Grim Reaper to put me out of my misery.

It`s not my intention to sound cruel, but I hope Istambulova doesn`t live one day longer in this wretched world.

Read More:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/oldest-living-person-ever-128-12543657

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The Proper Way to Pick Up a Cat! Video!

I have two cats, Ebony an 18-year-old female cat, and Tico a huge male cat who tips the scales at 25 pounds. I shower my kitties with kisses and hugs, but I never, ever, pick them up.

Ebony is an affectionate furball who loves to cuddle with me when I`m watching TV, but if I try to pick her up she will transform into a beast who is all claws and teeth.

When Ebony was a kitten I picked her up all the time, but when she became a full-grown feline she let me know in no uncertain terms that those days were gone for good.

Tico is a big old affectionate pussy cat, and he won`t turn into a monster if I pick him up. But picking up a 25-pound cat puts too much stress on my back, and I`m not a spring chicken.

The last time I picked up Tico I remember dropping him when he was about three feet from the floor, and the impact was too much for him and he sat motionless for about a minute. I vowed, right then and there, never to pick him up again.

Here`s a video demonstrating the proper way to pick up a cat, for kitty lovers who don`t have psycho cats or cats that weigh as much as a baby hippo:

Pooch Raised by Chinese Family for Two Years Turns Out to be a Black Bear

“When Su Yun bought her family a puppy two years ago, she was surprised by how much the dog ate. “A box of fruits and two buckets of noodles every day,” she told Chinese media.

There was, it turns out, a reason for its prodigious appetite: the animal has grown into a 250lb bear.

The family realised their error when the pet did not stop growing and started showing a talent for walking on two legs.”

Independent

I`m not surprised that a Chinese family mistook a bear for a dog, after all the average Chinese sees a dog only when it`s packaged as dog meat in a grocery store or as the entrée in a restaurant.

It was only after two years when the animal ballooned to 250 pounds, and started walking on two legs did the clueless family say to themselves, “maybe this thing isn`t a pooch.”

If my dog developed a penchant for walking around on two legs, I would call an exorcist or animal control.

The bear has been taken to a wildlife rescue center after the family called the authorities requesting help.

I hope and pray the family is sentenced a year in a reeducation camp where they will learn the difference between a playful pup and a freaking bear.

Read More:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/pet-dog-black-bear-china-family-grow-kunming-yunnan-stand-endangered-species-a8350451.html

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Night Night Donald Trump, You Disgusting Halfwit

Since June 2, 2016 Dan Rebellato, a distinguished professor, has tweeted the following message to Donald Trump, every night, before going to bed:

Night night you disgusting halfwit. xx

You`d expect the renowned playwright and professor of contemporary theatre at Royal Holloway, University of London to publish an article in a literary magazine, replete with footnotes, condemning the short-fingered vulgarian, but when dealing with a disgusting ignoramus a snarky tweet will suffice.

The tweet is a minimalist masterpiece!

It should be noted that the good professor is wishing the septuagenarian buffoon “night night,” not “good night” or “good morning.” It is the nightly message that you deliver to a skinflint grandfather who`d just as soon piss on you as bless you financially. “Night night” is what you mumble to an old fart that you secretly hope will die in his sleep.

Rebellato calls our national disgrace a “disgusting halfwit” to differentiate him from the vast number of halfwits who aren`t disgusting. There are many good-natured halfwits who make us smile with their moronic antics, and silly halfwits who make us grateful that we weren`t last in line when God was passing out brains, and then there are disgusting halfwits who make us doubt the existence of a benevolent deity.

Rebellato`s nightly ritual is a soothing salve to countless of Americans suffering under the Trump regime. As an American I salute Rebellato! You sir are a scholar and a gentleman, and I admire your wit!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Jim Carrey Taunts ‘Psycho’ Mike Pence

“Actor Jim Carrey shared his latest politically motivated piece of artwork on Friday, this time the Hollywood star`s portrait taking aim at Vice President Mike Pence.

The drawing appears to show Pence dressed in a robe, watching over a fly positioned on his right hand.

`I hope they are watching … They`ll see,` reads the text accompanying text. `They`ll see and they`ll know, and they`ll say, `Why Mike Pence wouldn`t even harm a fly … `”

Breitbart

The quote is from the Alfred Hitchcock classic “Psycho,” a not so subtle hint that our Vice President is a dangerous psycho.

Norman Bates victims were guests of the infamous Bates Motel, but Pence`s victims is the entire population of the United States, especially if he succeeds Trump.

Bates` relationship with his dead mother is the stuff that nightmares are made of, and Pence`s relationship with his wife whom he calls “Mother” is the stuff that gives normal Americans the heebie-jeebies.

Carrey`s artwork is in black and white with the exception of Pence`s piercing green eyes, the eyes of a zealot. Pence is a well-known evangelical zealot, on a mission from God to persecute gays and lesbians, and oppress the poor and disenfranchised.

But when it comes to Psycho Mike Pence politics trumps religion, and he is a political zealot who will debase and humiliate himself in an effort to please his Messiah, Donald Trump.

I hope and pray that Robert Mueller`s investigation will culminate with the impeachment of Trump and Pence. We must not make the mistake of breathing a sigh of relief if Trump is impeached or forced to resign, if Psycho Pence is still in the picture.

Pic of Carrey masterpiece:

http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2018/05/11/jim-carrey-art-targets-psycho-mike-pence/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Melania Trump Doesn’t Share a Bedroom With Donald Trump!

“Donald and Melania Trump reportedly lead very separate lives within the White House – so much so that the couple do not share a bedroom within 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, according to a recent profile of the first lady in the Washington Post.

But just how unusual is it for first couples to have separate sleeping quarters? Presidential experts tell PEOPLE it`s an arrangement the country hasn`t seen in more than forty years.

First lady scholar Annette Dunlap, author of a biography on President Grover Cleveland`s wife, tells PEOPLE the White House hasn`t seen first couples occupy separate bedrooms since the days of Patricia and Richard Nixon in the early 1970s.”

People

It`s no surprise that Donald and Melania Trump lead separate lives within the White House, remember she didn`t move into 1900 Pennsylvania Ave. until June 2017.

Can anyone blame the First Lady for not sharing a bedroom with her husband? Ladies, imagine if you can, sleeping in the same bad with the Donald, and waking up to the pervert gabbing your goodies with his freakishly small hands? Or having the Twitter bully wake you up at an ungodly hour in the morning because he couldn`t help himself from firing off a tweet to complain about Comey?

If Donald wants to sleep with his spouse he probably needs to go through Melania`s scheduler, and judging by the way she swats away his repulsive tiny hands in public, I doubt they do the nasty more than once a year.

When Melania moved into the White House she tweeted:

Looking forward to the memories we`ll make in our new home!

I bet they won`t be fond memories! Memories of Trump sitting in the toilet browsing Penthouse to see which nude model he should pursue? Memories of Trump ranting and raving, because he will never be as popular as Obama?

Melania get real, the only way you will make fond memories is if you kick the Orange degenerate to the curb!

Read More:
http://people.com/politics/melania-donald-trump-separate-bedrooms-historical-perspective/

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If Your Cat Licks You It Means He Loves You

The average house cat spends about 50 percent of his time grooming himself.

If you own more than one kitty, you know that sometimes they will lick each other. It`s not a sign of dominance but of kinship, if your felines lick each other, I bet they almost never fight.

My furball, Tico, tips the scales at 25 pounds, and sometimes when I`m reclining in the sofa he will jump on top of me and lick my bald head until it shines like a bowling ball.

Even when Tico licks me right after he has groomed his nether regions, I don`t turn away in revulsion because I know it means that he loves me and considers me family.

Some of us have been licked by some very grimey girls, so don`t shove your pussy cat away when he licks you.

Outrage! April Ryan Says Melania Trump Isn’t ‘Culturally American’

“CNN contributor April Ryan was not impressed with Melania Trump`s Be Best campaign, saying that the first lady was not culturally American.

`This is a first lady who is not culturally American, but she is learning the ways,` Ryan told `OutFront` host Erin Burnett on Monday evening of the campaign.

The `Be Best` campaign, which was launched at the White House on Monday, will focus on children, specifically curbing opioid abuse and cyberbullying.

Melania Trump was born in Slovenia and became an American citizen in 2006.”

The Wrap

April Ryan serves as a White House correspondent and is the Washington, D.C., bureau chief for American Urban Radio Networks.

I have tremendous respect for Ryan, she speaks truth to power and she can always be counted on to challenge White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, especially when it comes to issues of race.

But I take issue with her statement that Melania Trump isn`t culturally American. The First Lady is a very private person, and the public, including journalists, know very little about her.

One of the few things we know about her is that she`s not fluent in English, but give the lady a break, she speaks five languages.

Is Ryan implying that people who speak broken English aren`t culturally American? The naturalized Hispanic citizen who mows our lawns, and the naturalized Chinese citizen who dry-cleans our clothes may not speak fluent English fluently but they are just as American as April Ryan.

April Ryan owes Melania Trump an apology, it`s not our proficiency in English but our citizenship that makes us Americans.

Read More:

https://www.thewrap.com/cnn-contributor-april-ryan-dings-melania-trump-as-not-culturally-american/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Man Jailed for Beating Mom With a Lightsaber!

“A 42-year-old Pennsylvania man is facing an assault and harassment charges after allegedly beating his mother with a Star Wars light saber, according to court records.

Joan Vargas, 75, told police that her son Andrew had hit her repeatedly with what she called a light saber. Vargas said she was sitting on a dining room chair when her son began striking her with this saber in the head, on her back/neck area and on her wrist.

Andrew Vargas, who lives with his mother, was arrested on misdemeanor assault and harassment charges. He is being held in the Clearfield County jail in lieu of $10,000 bail. Vargas`s rap sheet includes prior convictions for theft, drunk driving, and criminal trespass.”

The Smoking Gun

The 6` 4,” 330-pound Vargas claims that his mother was conking herself over the head with the light saber, and he told the cops that she has many issues.

A 42-year-old man who still lives with his mother and has a collection of light sabers is the one with many issues.

Perhaps if Ms. Vargas had disciplined her son with a switch he wouldn`t have turned into such a cowardly loser.

He is being held in jail in lieu of $10,000 bail, I guess the sap can`t afford a thousand bucks to stay out of jail.

Vargas may be a bear of a man, but even if he was allowed to take his light saber collection with him to jail, he won`t be able to fend off jailbirds from beating him up or worse. Prisoners hate pedophiles and cowards who beat women, he`s going to have a tough time behind bars.

My thoughts and prayers are with Ms. Vargas, it`s a shame that at a time in her life when she should be enjoying her golden years, she`s being harassed by her yellow-bellied snake of a son.

Read More:

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/light-saber-assault-653907

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Disgraced Televangelist Jim Bakker Selling Apocalypse-Proof Condos and $150 Water Bottles

“Jim Bakker slipped out of most people`s collective consciousness after he fell from grace following a sex scandal and his 1989 fraud conviction. But the disgraced televangelist is back, focusing on the apocalypse and urging people to buy both real estate and eye-poppingly expensive extreme survival warfare water bottles from him to prepare.

Bakker, who served five years in prison for 24 counts of wire and mail fraud and conspiracy, is selling cabins in Missouri`s Ozark mountains, telling followers the area (which he calls Morningside) will be `the safest place to live` when the Apocalypse hits. Prices for the cabins weren`t disclosed, but you can rent one for as little as $85 per night right now.”

Fortune

Most televangelists make a killing selling “pie in the sky,” “Accept Jesus, and give your tithes and offerings to our ministry and God will reward you with a mansion in paradise.” Millions of marks living in trailer parks and subsidized housing respond, and the televangelists live in mansions and fly in Lear Jets thanks to their deluded followers.

Other more savvy religious con artists make an even bigger killing selling nonexistent real estate to their followers. In the 1980`s Jim Bakker sold tens of thousands of “lifetime memberships” entitling buyers to an annual three-night stay at a luxury hotel at Heritage USA. Only one 500-room hotel was ever finished, these morons had a better chance of spending their vacation in their heavenly mansion, than they did at Bakker`s hotel.

In 1988 Bakker was convicted on eight counts of mail fraud, 15 counts of wire fraud and one count of conspiracy. His religious empire came crumbling down, his wife divorced him, and he spent a year in a federal penitentiary.

Bakker resurfaced in 2003, with a new wife and a new show with a viewership only a fraction of what it was during his heyday in the 1980`s. His new shtick is selling freeze-dried food, bottled water and cabins in Missouri`s Ozark mountains where believers can weather the End Times. Bakker is hawking 28 ounce `warfare` water bottles, which he claims filter out contaminants, the idiots who watch his show can buy a half-dozen for $150.

Bakker`s community in the Ozarks in called “Morningside” and its brightly painted indoor town square is dominated by a 15-tall Jesus statue. I don`t have to visit Bakker`s compound to know that the only Jesus you will find there is the hokey giant-ass Jesus.

Who knows what kind of financial shenanigans the disgraced evangelist is committing considering he owes million to the IRS according to Wikipedia. I`m betting that it won`t be long before he`s back in the Big House.

Read More:

http://fortune.com/2018/05/07/televangelist-jim-bakker-prepper-selling-real-estate-water-bottle-apocalypse/

John McCain May Be On His Deathbed But He Doesn’t Deserve Any Praise

“John McCain (R-Ariz.) said he regrets choosing former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) to be his running mate during the 2008 presidential campaign.

The New York Times reported on Saturday that McCain, while still defending Palin`s performance, said in his upcoming book `The Restless Wave: Good Times, Just Causes, Great Fights, and other Appreciations` that he wishes he had instead selected former Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-Conn.)”

The Hill

John McCain has terminal brain cancer, and it`s only a matter of months, if not weeks, before he dies.

I have no intentions of mourning his death or writing a flattering obituary/editorial.

McCain did much more harm than good during his long political career, and he doesn`t deserve praise on his passing.

The senior senator from Arizona dedicated most of his time in the Senate advocating for war, he delivered countless speeches in the Senate calling for war against almost every Muslim country. If you look up the word “warmonger” in the dictionary you will see McCain`s surly mug.

McCain was the epitome of the corrupt politician, need I remind anyone of the Keating scandal:

The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s. The five senators – Alan Cranston, Dennis DeConcini, John Glenn, John McCain, and Donald W. Riegle, Jr.- were accused of improperly intervening in 1987 on behalf of Charles H. Keating, Jr., Chairman of the Lincoln Savings and Loan Association, which was the target of a regulatory investigation by the Federal Home Loan Bank Board (FHLBB).

Wikipedia

But McCain`s greatest mistake was choosing Sarah Palin to be his running mate during the 2008 presidential campaign. That wasn`t a mavericky thing to do, it was a cynical and insane action.

Palin was totally unqualified to be one heartbeat away from being president. She`s an ignorant fool, from a dysfunctional family who thought that she was a foreign policy expert because she could see Russia from her porch. Palin paved the way for Donald Trump, it could be argued that he wouldn`t be president if it weren`t for Palin.

McCain is railing against Trump from his deathbed, but he should take a good look at himself in the mirror, he is responsible for the abomination being president.

It`s too late for McCain to take back all the evil he has unleashed, the least he can do is shut up and die quietly.

Read More:

http://thehill.com/homenews/news/386392-mccain-i-regret-picking-palin-as-my-vice-presidential-nominee

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Mike Pence and Donald Trump: Locked Together in Sexual/Political Embrace

“WHEN VICE PRESIDENT Mike Pence appeared at an event in Arizona the other day and lauded former sheriff Joe Arpaio as a `tireless champion of the rule of law`, his comment wasn`t just a risible fiction about a man who made racial profiling his political calling card, thumbed his nose at a federal judge`s order and was convicted of criminal contempt of court. In kowtowing to Mr. Arpaio, a hero to alt-right racists, the vice president also announced his own contempt for principles higher than reflexive genuflection to anything and anyone favored by President Trump.

The Washington Post

Vice President Mike Pence is known as a bedrock religious conservative, and as an unapologetic supporter of the short-fingered vulgarian, Donald Trump.

Pence is anal-retentive about avoiding the appearance of evil, he famously refuses to be alone with any woman other than his wife.

You`d think that Pence would have refused to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever, and turned down the chance to be Vice President.

But not only did Pence accept Trump`s offer to be Vice President, but Pence the religious prude and Trump the brazen hedonist are thicker than thieves.

Whenever Pence`s religious convictions and Trump`s unchristian behavior are in conflict, he sides with the devil.

Trump pardoned Arpaio after he was convicted of criminal contempt for ignoring a federal judge`s order to halt his office`s systematic racial profiling patrols.

So it`s not surprising that Pence lauded the ex-convict racist Sheriff as a tireless champion of the rule of law. In the Trump administration black is white, good is bad, and if you want to remain in the president`s good races you`d better not publicly contradict him.

If Pence is convicted of any Russian scandal related crime, he will likely be pardoned by Trump, but I doubt Jesus will pardon Pence for his many sins: Relentless persecution of gays and lesbians, support of policies that hurt the poor and minorities, and his embrace of the antichrist himself, Donald Trump.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

White House Has Regular Bible Studies and Prayer Sessions! It’s the Most Evil and Corrupt Administration in History!

“While the White House faith initiative is making headlines, it`s whats happening behind the scenes inside the White House that is having quite a bit of spiritual impact.

For a while now, CBN News has reported how evangelical Christians have unprecedented direct access with President Trump. It has led to input on policy and consistent prayer among Cabinet members. Pence says there is prayer going on inside the White House all the time, not only on the National Day of Prayer.

`There`s prayer going on on a regular basis in this White House. And it`s one of the most meaningful things to me, whether it`s public meetings or not, I`ve lost count of the number of times that the president has nudged me, or nudged another member of the Cabinet and said, `Let`s start this meeting with prayer,` he told Brody.

CBN

Previous Republican presidential candidates have actively courted the evangelical vote during the campaign, and paid them only lip service once they win.

Donald Trump embraced white evangelicals during the campaign, and he`s rewarded them for their loyalty by actually backing legislation, and issuing executive orders that promotes the evangelical agenda.

Trump doesn`t have a spiritual bone in his body, and is more familiar with the Penthouse Forum that he is with the Bible, but he realizes that white evangelicals are an integral part of his base, and he will do anything to earn their support.

Evangelicals are cognizant that Trump is a vulgar, corrupt lying sack of crap, but they have no qualms about supporting him — as long as he remains loyal to their political agenda.

Trump`s cabinet has been called the most evangelical cabinet in history, and it`s also the most corrupt in history. Most of Trump`s cabinet attends a weekly Bible study in the White House, and the policies they are enacting are anti-poor, anti-immigrant and antithetical to the philosophy of Jesus Christ.

Mike Pence claims that there`s prayer going on on a regular basis in the White House, but it`s hands down the most corrupt administration in history.

I can`t imagine a more disgusting sight than Trump folding his tiny hands in prayer while he fantasizes of porn stars and Playboy bunnies, and Pence holding hands in prayer with cabinet members while he`s wondering if Carson is taking advantage of the situation by caressing his hand.

This Bible study-loving and praying administration is leading or democracy straight to hell! Trump, Pence and hte rest of these Pharisees can`t rot in hell.

Read More:
http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/2018/may/lsquo-the-american-people-believe-in-prayer-rsquo-mike-pence-on-national-day-of-prayer

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Police Cat Pawficcer Badges Joins Troy Police Department

“Welcome to the Troy Police Pawfficer Badges.

After a tight Twitter poll run by the @TroyMI_Police account to name their incoming police cat, it was revealed that the newest member of their department will be called Pawfficer Badges.

According to the police department`s Twitter announcement, the Pawfficer`s official duties will include community policing, supervising the K9 unit, and of course, providing cuddles.”

Detroit Free Press

With police brutality and racial profiling so much in the news these days, police need to soften their image, and nothing will accomplish that goal better than adopting a kitty cat as a police station mascot.

I`m used to seeing police with intimidating K-9 dogs, it`s refreshing to see burly cops playing with a cuddly kitten.

Hopefully the playful nature of kittens will rub off on the police officers, and they won`t engage in police brutality.

Police cat Pawfficer Badges is a purr-fect addition to the Troy Police Department, and I wish her success in her career.

Video and pics of adorable kitty:

https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2018/05/01/troy-police-cat-name-pawfficer-badges/569257002/

Orange Antichrist Has Deepened Divide Between White and Black Evangelicals

The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., once said “It is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o`clock on Sunday morning.”

Decades later that proverb still rings true, when the church bells ring, Christians congregate in churches to worship the Almighty with believers who share their interpretation of the Christian faith, and more importantly their skin color.

Diversity may prevail in the workplace, gym, and places of business and entertainment, but most Americans only feel comfortable worshiping God in segregated churches.

This situation is tragic considering that Christianity promised to do away with gender, racial and class distinctions that divide us:

Galatians 3:28 King James Version (KJV)

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

Donald Trump has exacerbated the racial divide in the evangelical church.

Black and brown evangelicals are dismayed and exasperated by white evangelicals` infatuation with a blatant racist, misogynist and homophobic buffoon. Since the election the bond between white evangelicals and Trump has only hardened:

White evangelical Protestants continue to approve of President Donald Trump at about twice the rate of the general public, according to a recent survey by the Public Religion Research Institute. Indeed, the figure is at an all-time high, with some 75 percent expressing a positive view as of March.

https://www.vox.com/the-big-idea/2018/4/30/17301282/race-evangelicals-trump-support-gerson-atlantic-sexism-segregation-south

How can evangelicals of color be expected to break bread with white evangelicals who overlook, if not outright condone, Trump`s blatant racism out of political expediency?

The rift between white evangelicals and evangelicals of color is irreversible, as an Hispanic I`d rather fellowship with a UFO cult than visit a white evangelical church.

Eleven Sunday morning will continue to be the most segregated hour as long as white evangelicals remain enthralled by the orange Antichrist.

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Outrage! Oklahoma City Cop Prevents Chicken from Crossing the Road!

“A surprised Oklahoma City police officer captured video of a `small town problem in the big city`– a loose chicken crossing a road.

The Oklahoma City Police Department posted a video to Facebook showing Officer Cook dealing with the unusual pedestrian found crossing a city street.

“You know, just `cause we`re in the big city don`t mean we don`t have small town problems,” Cook says in the video.

The post said Cook captured the chicken to keep it safe from traffic.”

UPI

The Oklahoma City police officer characterized a chicken crossing a road as a “small town problem in the big city.” He also opined “just cause we`re in the big city don`t mean we don`t have small town problems.”

Where to begin … First of all, Oklahoma City with a population of around half a million hardly qualifies as a “big city.” But even if Oklahoma City had a population of five million, they`re still a bunch of Okies with no conception of what it means to live in a large metropolitan area.

Officer Cook`s penchant for employing double negatives ensures that he will be a small town cop even he becomes a police officer in New York City.

We`ve all pondered the metaphysical question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?,” but very few of us have actually witnessed a chicken crossing a road.

How dare Officer Cook grab the chicken, and prevent it from crossing the road. Officer Cook is an affront to Oklahoma City, law enforcement, and indeed to all of humanity.

Cook traumatized the commuters and pedestrians who witnessed his unspeakable actions, may the good Lord have mercy on his soul.

Link to video:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/05/01/Oklahoma-City-police-officer-rescues-road-crossing-chicken/2201525200946/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=2

Rapper Calls on Crips to Assault Kanye West for Supporting Trump! Do You Agree?

“West Coast rapper Daz Dillinger has taken issue with Kanye West supporting President Donald Trump, going as far as to threaten him over the stance.

In two videos posted to social media, Dillinger first shared a theory on what he believes is happening. `It`s like, we all in one boat, and they killing all of us, and he jump over there and say, `Master. I`m on your side master. I got all the information. I`m with you master Trump.`

Dillinger than compared Kanye to Samuel L. Jackson`s character in Django Unchained and continued, `National alert. All the Crips out there, ya`ll fuc* Kanye up. You see that motherfuc*er, fuc* his ass up on GP.`”

Complex

Dillinger is best known as a former member of Tha Dogg Pound rap duo who were popular in the 1990`s.

When this dogg barks West would be wise to listen, the Crips don`t take kindly to Uncle Tom fools. And make no mistake about it Kanye is a mentally-unbalanced Uncle Tom fool.

It`s one thing for West to proclaim himself a God and declare that he`s one of the greatest entertainers of all time, such unhinged boasting is par for the course for a rap star.

It`s quite another for West to post a photo of himself wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat with the caption “We got love.”

West also tweeted:

“You don`t have to agree with Trump, but the mob can`t make me not love him. We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone. I don`t agree with everything anyone does. That`s what makes us individuals. And we have the right to independent thought.”

The President of the United States Donald Trump has declared war on Blacks, Hispanics, Muslims, immigrants, gays and lesbians, and everybody else who isn`t white. It`s unforgivable for a black person to side with the enemy, it simply must not be tolerated.

This isn`t a case of “we shouldn`t let politics divide us, who cares if you are a Republican, Democrat or Independent.” Trump is an unabashed fascist and a blatant racist, and nobody, let alone a minority, should befriend this monster.

West claims that Trump has dragon energy, reminds me of another lunatic, Charlie Sheen, who claimed that he had tiger blood.

I don`t care if West is trolling or if he`s off his meds, he needs to shut the hell up. I don`t think he should be assaulted for supporting Trump, but he should be locked up in a mental institution until he comes to his senses and stops being an Uncle Tom.

Read More:

http://www.complex.com/music/2018/04/daz-dillinger-takes-aim-at-kanye-west-over-pro-trump-stance

Michelle Wolf Rips Sarah Huckabee Sanders a New One at the WHCD

Comedian Michelle Wolf was the evening`s headliner at the annual White House Correspondents` Dinner (WHCD). And her comedy routine ranged from raunchy to very raunchy to oppressively raunchy.

But I`m not a prude and I respect a person who speaks truth to power to the elite, be they politicians, journalists or entertainers.

Everybody, especially politicians, who attend the WHCD know they will be roasted, they should don their asbestos underwear and not complain when they are toasted to a crisp.

Here are some of the elites that Wolf savaged:

Kellyanne Conway

“If you don`t give her a platform, she has nowhere to lie, It`s like that old saying: If a tree falls in the woods how do we get Kellyanne under that tree?

Roy Moore

“I`m 32 years old, which is an odd age. Ten years too young to host this event and 20 years too old for Roy Moore.”

Donald Trump

“I would drag him here myself, but it turns out the President of the United States is the one pussy you`re not allowed to grab. He said it first. Yeah, he did.”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

The White House Press Secretary got a front-row seat to a brutal roasting. Not to but too fine a point on it, but Wolf ripped her a new arsehole, and then shat into it.

“I`m a little starstruck I love you as Aunt Lydia in The Handmaid`s Tale.”

“I actually really like Sarah. I think she`s very resourceful she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smoky eye. Maybe she`s born with it, maybe it`s lies. It`s probably lies.”

I would have given my life savings to call Sanders a liar to her face, bravo to Wolf for calling a filthy liar a liar.

But Wolf went too far making fun of her personal appearance. God knows Sanders is an ugly woman, but Wolf ain`t no beauty queen herself. The comedian is only 32, but looks 62. She has an aquiline nose, frizzy hair, and a cackling voice, when I see her I don`t know if I should burn her at the stake, or offer her $5 for sexual favors.

Outrageous Robert Paul Reyes you may be thinking, right Sherlock, exactly my point.

Whole Foods Draws Flak for ‘Yellow Fever’ Asian Restaurant

“Earlier this week, Whole Foods opened a new Asian-themed restaurant called Yellow Fever at one of their Long Beach, California locations – and Twitter immediately pointed out how racist the name was.”

The Raw Story

“Yellow Fever” is a slang term for white men who prefer Asian women, and the name of a viral disease that killed hundreds of thousands of people during the 19th century.

You`d think an Asian restaurant would avoid such a racist and unappetizing name like the plague, but I guess some folks still abide by the proverb that there`s no such thing as bad publicity.

Will Whole Foods open a fast food restaurant in their stores called Herpes Burgers, and when customers order a burger, will the staff be instructed to ask them, “Do you want an STD with that?”

The controversial restaurant is not owned by Whole Foods, it`s an independent restaurant chain that has partnered up with the grocery chain to open in its store. However by letting the restaurant open in one of its locations, Whole Foods is endorsing racism as a marketing ploy.

I love Asian food, but I will avoid the Yellow Fever restaurant and The Whole Foods grocery stores like the plague.

Read More:

https://www.rawstory.com/2018/04/unappetizing-racist-internet-rips-whole-foods-opening-asian-themed-restaurant-called-yellow-fever/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

ABBA Announces New Music! Hallelujah!

“Some 35 years after their split, the four original members of Abba announced today that they have recorded two new songs. One, `I Still Have Faith in You,` is set for release in December.
That song will be part of a `Virtual Abba` experience in collaboration with `American Idol` creator Simon Fuller first announced in 2016, and it will premiere, via digital versions of band members, on NBC and ABC at the end of this year. There are no details as yet about the second song.”
In a statement, the band wrote:
`The decision to go ahead with the exciting ABBA avatar tour project had an unexpected consequence. We all four felt that, after some 35 years, it could be fun to join forces again and go into the recording studio. So we did. And it was like time had stood still and that we only had been away on a short holiday. An extremely joyful experience!`”
Variety
I cannot emphasize how earth-shattering this proclamation is, imagine if you will the Pope declaring that a new book has been added to the canon of the New Testament or President Donald Trump and Congress announcing that a new amendment will be added to the Constitution making weed legal, and you will begin to understand the euphoria of ABBA fans.
Today many ABBA fans who weren`t alive in the 1970`s have an ironic appreciation for the Swedish superstars, but Baby Boomers worship them as cameltoe Messiahs of the music industry.
After 35 years ABBA will be releasing two new songs, but time doesn`t stand still, and the Second law of thermodynamics is still in full effect and entropy has taken its toll on pop music (Cardi B), the culture at large (Trumpism) and on the septuagenarian disco queens.

Thank God the new songs will be issued in virtual format with digital versions of the band members, seniors wearing tight-fitting outfits isn`t a good look.

The new songs will be released in December, this will be the happiest Christmas in decades for ABBA fans.

Read More:
http://variety.com/2018/music/news/abba-reunite-announce-two-new-songs-1202790031/

Donald Trump’s ‘Breeding’ Tweet Racist as Hell

There is a Revolution going on in California. Soooo many Sanctuary areas want OUT of this ridiculous, crime infested & breeding concept. Jerry Brown is trying to back out of the National Guard at the Border, but the people of the State are not happy. Want Security & Safety NOW!

Donald Trump Tweet April 18, 2008

President Donald Trump`s tweets are a real-time glimpse into the sewer of racism that breeds in his mind.

One word (breeding) jumps out at me, you will find this word in the writings of racists who opine on the subject of race and immigration. They like to compare immigrants from Mexico and Latin American countries to animals breeding and populating.

There is a chance that this was a “senior moment” or a “covfefe moment” and Trump meant to write “breeding contempt.” But Trump is a virtuoso at dog whistling, and he knew that if he inserted the word “breeding” in his tweet, even if it wasn`t grammatically appropriate, that it would resonate with his racist base.

A sanctuary city is any jurisdiction which doesn`t require local police to enforce federal immigration law. You`d think anti-big government conservatives would be in favor of sanctuary cities, but their racism trumps their fears of a big government.

Trump would like us to believe that sanctuary cities are hellholes where MS-13 gang members are breeding like rats, and committing crimes while police look the other way.

Sanctuary cities are jurisdictions where immigrants are welcomed and treated with respect and dignity. We need more sanctuary cities, and less tweets from Trump that breed contempt.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Thug Cat Knocks Over Laptop

Cats are drawn to laptops like mice are drawn to cheese and dogs to bones. Whenever I power up my laptop my cat wakes up from hibernation and plops down on the keyboard, making writing my articles a tedious and cumbersome enterprise.

If I try to nudge her out of the way, she stares at me as if she`s asking: You let sleeping dogs lie, so why won`t you let a kitty lie in peace in the warmth of your laptop?

God help me if I leave my laptop open, when I return I almost always discover that my mischievous furball has changed the font, deleted a folder or searched Google for “cat treats.”

But cats usually don`t knock over a laptop, after all why would they damage one of their favorite resting places? But here`s a video of a thug cat knocking over a laptop:

https://mashable.com/2018/04/24/cat-knocks-over-laptop/#9m4cwguhbSqc

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Hillary Clinton Went on an F-Bomb Tirade Against Donald Trump in Debate Prep

“Hillary Clinton unleashed a f–k-laced fusillade about President Trump as they were preparing to debate in 2016, according to a new book.

The former Secretary of State took debate-prep sessions as `cathartic exercises` and her team members understood that she would sometimes go off on them, according to reporter Amy Chozick`s `Chasing Hillary.`

`You want authentic, here it is!` she`d yelled in one 2016 prep session, followed by a f–k-laced fusillade about what a `disgusting` human being Trump was and how he didn`t deserve to even be in the arena,` the book, out on Tuesday, recounts.”

The New York Daily News

Donald Trump is a disgusting pig, and he makes no efforts to conceal his warts. America knew exactly what we were getting when we elected him: A racist, misogynist and semi-illiterate short-fingered vulgarian. You could make an argument that he`s the most authentic president in history.

Hillary is also a disgusting pig, but her handlers work overtime putting lipstick on the pig, in a vain attempt to try to persuade us that she`s a cute kitty cat.

Hillary is phony to the core, she pretends to be a fearless feminist, while she ridiculed and tried to destroy her husband`s victims of rape and sexual assault.

Had she honestly expressed her hatred of Trump in the debates, and cursed him she might have won the election.

The decrepit septuagenarian is on the last chapter of her life, and it`s not too late for redemption.. She can demonstrate some authenticity be confessing that her marriage to Bill Clinton is a marriage of political convenience and divorce the slimy bastard. She can also come out of the closet and marry the love of her live, Huma Abedin. Now that`s some fuckin* authenticity.

Read More:

http://beta.nydailynews.com/news/national/clinton-gave-f-k-laced-fusillade-trump-debate-prep-article-1.3951420

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Shania Twain Says She Would Have Voted for Trump, Then Apologizes

“Multi-platinum country-pop star Shania Twain is walking back a statement she made in an interview with The Guardian in which she said she would have voted for Donald Trump were she an eligible voter.

The Canadian songstress, in an interview over the weekend to promote her first album in 15 years, said:

`I would have voted for him because, even though he was offensive, he seemed honest. Do you want straight or polite? Not that you shouldn`t be able to have both. If I were voting, I just don`t want b- – – – – -t. I would have voted for a feeling that it was transparent. And politics has a reputation of not being that, right?`”

NPR

I am resigned to the fact that the Russians interfered with our elections with impunity, and without suffering any meaningful payback from the Trump administration.

But we have to draw the line somewhere, and I simply will not abide any interference in American politics by a Canadian.

Shania Twain doesn`t know how blessed she is to live in a democracy with a Prime Minister who is admired and respected in Canada and throughout the world. God only knows how many Americans have fled to Canada to flee Trump`s incompetent and corrupt administration.

Twain made her controversial statement in support of her first new album in 15 years, that`s no way to publicize an album. That Don`t Impress Me Much!

Twain`s apologies are too little too late; I volunteer to spank her until she utters a sincere apology.

Read More:

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/04/23/604850914/shania-twain-singing-words-of-sorry-for-saying-shed-have-voted-for-trump

Donald Trump Considering Pardon for Boxer Jack Johnson

“Sylvester Stallone called me with the story of heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson. His trials and tribulations were great, his life complex and controversial. Others have looked at this over the years, most thought it would be done, but yes, I am considering a Full Pardon!”

Donald Trump Tweet April 21, 2018

Jack Johnson was an African American world heavyweight boxing champion from 1908 to 1915. In the Jim Crow era he was Muhammad Ali on steroids, he married white women, and had numerous white girlfriends. Johnson flaunted the societal conventions of his day, and white boxers were terrified of meeting him in the ring. He was a racist`s worst nightmare and an affront to the Southern way of life.

America longed for a Great White Hope to take the tile away from the uppity nigger, but no such champion emerged.

The only way to stop Johnson was to arrest him on charges of violating the Mann Act – forbidding one to transport a woman across state lines for “immoral purposes.” Never mind that the woman Johnson transported over state lines was his girlfriend. Johnson was arrested twice, and served time in prison for violating the Mann Act.

Is Donald Trump serious about granting a full pardon to this African American icon? Trump values celebrity above everything else, and if Stallone recommends pardon for Johnson, he may very well follow through.

But if he does pardon Johnson, it won`t be because he wants to right a wrong that was done to a black historical figure. Trump may want to send a message to Michael Cohen and anybody else who might be considering flipping: If I pardon a nigger I never even heard of before Stallone told me about him, don`t you think I will pardon you? Don`t flip, I have your back!

Trump is a blatant racist, and if he pardons Johnson he won`t fool anyone. Let`s hope that the Great White Hope, Special Counsel Robert Mueller, will strip the presidency from him, so to speak.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes