Where in the Name of God is Melania?

“Questions around Melania Trumps reported hospitalization for kidney surgery have intensified as it`s been noted by White House reporters and on social media that the first lady hasn`t been seen in public for at least 15 days.

According to the Washington Post, the length of Mrs. Trump`s absence is long even for a woman who`s not known to crave the spotlight.”

The Mercury News

Never mind “Where`s Waldo?,” where in the name of God is Melania?

The First Lady underwent an embolization procedure to treat a benign kidney condition at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on May 14, and she hasn`t been seen since.

Here`s my guesses:

Mayo Clinic

The White House can`t be trusted to tell the truth, maybe the “benign kidney condition” is really a cancerous growth, and she`s undergoing life-saving treatment at the renowned medical center.

Meeting with Mueller

When her no-good husband referred to her as “Melanie” that was the last straw, and homegirl is now spilling the beans to the Special Counsel in a series of top-secret meetings.

Interviewing Divorce Lawyers

Divorcing the President of the United States is a legal and emotional nightmare, and Melania has to interview dozens of lawyers before she chooses the right one.

Digging a Tunnel

That sinkhole was her first attempt at freedom, she`s still busy digging until she`s escaped the swamp that`s the White House.

Meeting with Stormy Daniels

The First Lady is commiserating with the porn star about how rotten Trump is, and at the same time getting tips on how to become an adult movie actress.

Practicing Dancing

Melania can read the writing on the wall, and she knows that her hubby will soon be impeached, and she must prepare for life after being First Lady, and DWTS is a good place to start.


She`s in the Great White North where many patriots have fled from the Trump administration.


Donald Trump has ruined America to the extent that even a nondescript country like Slovenia is a better place.

Who care`s “Where`s Melania?” why can`t Donald Trump disappear into the same black hole?

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