Melania Deftly Avoids Being Kissed by Trump

Melania Trump often swats away Donald Trump’s hand when he reaches for hers during public appearances intended to project affection. Although her role as a trophy wife occasionally requires her to appear with him in public, it does not necessarily include physical contact.

Few would blame Melania for brushing aside her husband’s grotesque, doll-like hands, but one prospect seems even worse than holding Trump’s hand: kissing him on the lips. Can you imagine the orange baboon leaning in attempting to kiss you with his orifice that resembles a sphincter? The horror! The horror.

Recently at a ceremony at the Rose Garden Trump leaned in for a kiss, puckering his hideous lips, Melania turned her head away in disgust, offering him her cheek instead.

I feel no sympathy for gold-digging Melania, and I feel even less for Trump, there are plenty of bimbos like Natalie Harp who are dying to French kiss his anus-looking mouth.

Any parent who allows the ugly fascist to kiss their baby at a campaign event should have their baby taken away by Children’s Services.

White Evangelicals Are the Most Hateful People on the Face of the Earth

The Public Religion Research Institute’s annual American Values Survey has found that white Evangelicals are the religious group most likely to believe that “empathy can become dangerous when it leads people away from building a society guided by God’s truth.”

Evangelicals are the most hateful people on the face of God’s green earth. They hate sexual freedom that allows individuals to have personal autonomy to make choices about their own bodies and sexual freedom, while at the same time secretly indulging in porn and blowing up Grinder whenever they assemble in mass rallies and conventions.

They reject diversity and inclusion even as they claim to love everyone. Hate appears to be their default, while their compassion is reserved for those who share their hostility.

Evangelicals once presented themselves as kind and loving, reflected in the refrain, “God hates the sin but loves the sinner.” They claimed to love the LGBT community while warning that its members would be condemned to hell unless they rejected their sexual orientation.

Now, however, evangelicals no longer even profess to love all of God’s children. Instead, they have embraced Donald Trump, who is hateful and incapable of empathy. They treat a lack of empathy as a virtue and disparage those who show compassion for society’s most vulnerable people.

Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself. The founder of Christianity would not consider White evangelicals his followers.

Trump Makes Strange Guttural Sound at South Carolina Rally

While campaigning at Clemson University for nepo baby Sen. Darline Graham, Trump was discussing Gov. Henry McMaster when he said, “I’d say 90% of the reason I took the governor—” before making an indescribable, guttural sound, which seemed to emanate straight from the pit of hell.

After making the unsettling noise, the senile octogenarian continued as though nothing had happened. The crowd appeared similarly unfazed by the bizarre demon-influenced utterance.

Had Trump said, “Excuse me,” before shitting on Sen. Tim Scott, who was present at the rally, the crowd would not have raised an eyebrow.

We have grown accustomed to the self-proclaimed “stable genius” delivering incoherent rants riddled with malapropisms, expletives, and invented words; now, his apparent cognitive decline seems to have reduced his speech to unintelligible sounds.

I am at a loss for words—reduced to making indescribable sounds myself. We are fucked.

Black Trump Supporter ‘Thelma Louise’ Kicked Out of Ken Paxton Rally

The pro-Trump influencer known as “Thelma Louise” has not publicly disclosed her real name, but it is unfortunate that she adopted the names of film characters celebrated as icons of female empowerment and agency.

Thelma Louise runs a popular TikTok account where she shares pro-Trump content from the perspective of a Black female conservative, i.e., an Uncle Tom bootlicking fluffer with no sense of self-respect.

The Black MAGA influencer was enthusiastically documenting her experience at a Ken Paxton rally in Texas, when she was unceremoniously booted from the lily-white crowd. Her transgression? Her black ass ruined the optics.

The Oreo posted a tearful video saying she had been removed from the event for no apparent reason. No apparent reason? Bitch please, look in the damn mirror, your black ass ruined the optics of the White Nationalist campaign event.

Prominent Black celebrities such as Mike Tyson, Nicki Minaj, Amber Rose, and Kodak Black are welcomed at MAGA events, while lesser-known supporters like Thelma Louise are treated like trash.

The disgraced content creator needs to have a “Come to Jesus Moment” and spend the rest of her life creating anti-Trump content.

Trump Muses About an Army of Trump Robots Hitting the Campaign Trail

In a characteristically disjointed speech to first responders in the White House Rose Garden, Donald Trump acknowledged having “some severe problems” and voiced concern about midterm elections that appear unfavorable to the Republican Party.

Trump, who often posts memes portraying himself as a messiah or superhero, rarely admits fault. Perhaps a lack of sleep left him disoriented enough to tell the truth.

No shit—he has severe problems, including dementia, physical decline, and a lack of morals.

“If my voice holds out, we’re going to be in great shape,” the octogenarian said after listing the states remaining on his schedule, which called for roughly a rally and a half each day. “You know, it is one voice after all. You could maybe get one of those beautiful robots they make nowadays, make it look just like me, and no one would know the difference. Send it out on the trail while I sit home and watch it on television.”

Some robots—especially sex robots—may be beautiful, but robots resembling Trump would be horrifying. An army of them would make me think the robot apocalypse had begun.

One Donald J. Trump is enough; an army of Trump robots might prompt the Almighty to destroy the world and start over.

Trump Tells Supporters, ‘I Can Say the Stupidest Things and You’d Clap’, Wankers Clap

Donald Trump addressed a crowd of MAGA cultists in Clarksville, located in scarlet red Tennessee, claiming he could say the “stupidest things” and still receive applause. On cue, the mob erupted in rapturous applause.

The fascist authoritarian is so secure in his rock-solid standing with evangelicals, that he insults them to their face, and in the process wins their adulation.

If the con artist holds a rally and promises his followers that if the Republicans win the midterms, he will bless them with a $5,000 check, a brand-new pickup and a signed copy gold leaf Trump bible, they will form into a circle jerk and shower him with ejaculate.

If you look up the phrase “useful idiot” in the dictionary, you will see an image of a man wearing a red hat and a T-shirt proclaiming, “Jesus is My Savior, and Trump is my President.”

Multiple reports from former aides, books, and journalistic investigations indicate that the stable genius has privately mocked and insulted evangelical Christians.

Trump has publicly declared that “he loves the uneducated,” naturally he loves ignorant bible-thumping evangelicals who can easily be manipulated and controlled.

What a horrible timeline we are trapped in, the President of the United States and putative Leader of the Free World utters babbling nonsense, and his disciples are awe struck with his heavenly wisdom.

Hero Grandpa Shoots Drunk ICE Goon Who Was ‘Sleeping in Off’ on His Front Lawn

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) should be abolished—not reformed, rehabilitated, or restored. Abolished. Period.

ICE agents are the Trump administration’s Gestapo-like enforcers. Their record includes well-documented human rights abuses, aggressive interior enforcement tactics, family separations, and incidents that can only be described as the public execution of innocent American civilians.

An off-duty inebriated ICE thug was arrested for attacking a woman and her father after he was found “sleeping it off” on their lawn.

The woman arrived home to find the ICE agent, 32-year-old David Gonzalez, sleeping on her front lawn. Imagine the poor lady’s horror, I would rather find a serial killer or a plague-infected homeless person sleeping on my lawn.

The woman told her 72-year-old father, with whom she lives, and he “went outside to send Gonzalez on his way,”. When Gonzalez woke up, he “appeared intoxicated and agitated” and assaulted the father. The default mode of an ICE agent is to assault a citizen, even when the so-called law enforcement agent is trespassing and publicly drunk.

The woman’s father produced a gun and fired one shot at Gonzalez, striking him in the midsection. I applaud the incredible restraint of the elderly dad; I would have been tempted to riddle the drunk bastard with bullets or set him on fire.

The woman called her boyfriend, an off-duty police officer, who arrived and placed Gonzalez in handcuffs, according to Fresno police. I am not anti-law enforcement, this off-duty cop did the right thing by slapping handcuffs on the ICE hooligan.

The ICE agent was charged with felony assault and vandalism. After being taken by ambulance to a hospital, he should be held in jail pending trial.

Naked Statue of Trump Unveiled at European Parliament

Donald Trump is on a crusade to erect monuments to himself in Washington D.C before his tyrannical regime ends in impeachment, implementation of 25th amendment or a stroke. He has already demolished the East Wing of the White House to erect his $400 million presidential ballroom, and he intends to erect a 250-foot-tall Triumphal Arch near Arlington Cemetery. 

The American public may be powerless to stop this egotistical monster from defiling the nation’s capital, but rest assured that you will not find any monuments erected in his honor in any of the world’s major cities.

However, you will find a Donald Trump statue in Strasbourg, France, the official seat of the European Parliament. But this work of art does not glorify the fat toad, instead it ridicules and mocks him. Titled “The Orange Plague,” the masterpiece depicts the US president on the shoulders of a frail man. His fat thighs and sagging belly wrap tightly around the man’s head; his hands clutch at a long golf club and a miniature scales of justice.

The orange piece of human excrement is an albatross around the neck of America and a burden on the shoulders of the world.

A chef’s kiss to Danish artist Jens Galschiot who created this magnus opus, may he inspire American artists to honor the fascist in similar fashion.

Trump is Too Old to be Alive, Let Alone be President

“During his recent trip to Washington, Chinese officials made some highly specific requests for President Xi Jinping. They wanted to guarantee the 73-year-old leader had plenty of time to rest between meetings with President Donald Trump.

The Chinese team asked for a private room in the West Wing. Only his wife, Peng Liyuan, was permitted inside to be with him.”

MSN

Chinese President Xi Jinping is 73 and shows no signs of dementia, cankles, obesity, or a heart condition. Even so, his aides ensure that the stocky septuagenarian avoids overexertion and gets ample rest.

At 80, President Donald Trump needs adequate rest, particularly given concerns about his cognitive and physical health. Yet his aides appear unwilling to urge him to avoid shouting or speaking at length during rallies—antics that could increase his risk of a stroke or heart attack.

In between meeting with world leaders Trump should have a private room in the White House, and only Natalie Harp should be permitted inside with him. She can change his diapers, fellatio him, breathe on his cold and decomposing hands and give him a pep talk.

Under the tender ministrations of Natalie maybe Sleepy Don will not look Like Weekend at Bernie’s when he is conversing with world leaders.

Allowances must be made for a decrepit and demented octogenarian who is one Big Mac away from a stroke.

Trump Fluffer Robert Jeffress Claims James Talarico isn’t a Christian

Organized religion poses an existential threat to humanity comparable to AI and global warming. I support the separation of church and state, and my ideal political candidate does not profess allegiance to any religious faith.

However, I support James Talarico who is running for the U.S Senate in Texas, in spite of the fact that he holds a Master of Arts in Theological Studies and is pursuing a Master of Divinity at the Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary to become an ordained minister.

Talarico places his Christian faith at the center of his public identity and political career, but unlike evangelical Christians, he does not seek to transform our democracy into a white Christian nationalist theocracy. He believes that the Constitution and not the bible is the is the foundation of our democracy, and he is determined to make Texas a state where everyone regardless of ethnicity, sexual orientation or religion or lack thereof feels comfortable.

Robert Jeffress, the pastor of First Baptist Dallas, has a penchant for speaking from his ass. A diehard Trump supporter since 2015, Jeffress has declared the Democrat Party a “godless party,” and he even announced Democrats worship the Old Testament pagan god, Moloch.

The latest outburst emanating from Jeffress’ ass is his claim that Talarico is not a Christian. Jeffress declared that Talarico’s beliefs “disqualify him from being a Christian” after Talarico said that “God is nonbinary” and embodies both masculine and feminine traits.

Jesus himself declared that God is spirit; indeed, God is the epitome of a nonbinary being.

I would not place much stock in anything that Jeffress proclaims, after all this is the same asshole who thinks that the thrice married, twice impeached, pathological liar and adjudicated rapist Donald Trump is a great Christian.

Evangelicals Idolize the Bible

Evangelicals often label Latter-day Saints, Seventh-day Adventists, and Jehovah’s Witnesses as cults while ridiculing their sacred texts, including the Book of Mormon and Ellen G. White’s writings.

But evangelicals are more cult-like than the aforementioned Christian sects, they set themselves apart from mainstream Christianity with their rabid devotion to their orange messiah and their idolatrous affection for the Bible. They treat the bible as a magic book that explains all of life’s mysteries, and they use it as a weapon to thump unbelievers.

The Bible was written by roughly 40 authors over about 1,500 years, so it naturally contains contradictions. This helps explain why more than 40,000 Christian denominations interpret it differently.

Evangelicals are woefully ignorant of the bible that they venerate, and they memorize a few dozen verses, and they use these selected words to demonize everyone outside their cult.

Evangelicals are so quick to use the bible to condemn others that they are rendered spiritually blind to the teachings of Jesus Christ. They place more stock in selected scripture verses than in the love and mercy of the founder of Christianity.

Evangelicals would be better served by setting aside an excessive reverence for the Bible and focusing instead on loving God with all their heart, soul, and mind, and loving their neighbors as themselves.