Author: robertpaulreyes

Mexican Mayor Marries Magnificent Crocodile

“The mayor of a Mexican town married a crocodile as part of a centuries-old tradition to bring an abundant harvest to the fishing town.
Mayor Victor Aguilar of San Pedro Huamelula wed his reptilian bride Friday in a ceremony symbolizing the union of two indigenous groups, the Chontales and the Huaves.
The mayor in the wedding ceremony represents the Chontales prince, while the crocodile represents the Huale princess.”
UPI
My thoughts:
The hapless crocodile`s mouth was duct taped shut, if anybody`s trap should be taped shut it should be the politician`s.

crocodile A groom is supposed to love and trust his bride, it doesn`t show much trust when you tape your bride`s yapper shut.

I could care less if marrying a crocodile to bring good luck is an ancient indigenous tradition, it`s still animal cruelty. A crocodile isn`t a prop, and it`s inhumane to tape his jaws.

It`s appropriate that the mayor married a reptile, I trust a politician as much as I trust a crocodile.
I hope that whatever deities the mayor and the townspeople were trying to appease, will smite their village.

Read More:
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07/03/Mexican-mayor-marries-crocodile-in-traditional-ceremony/6131499099842/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=6

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Adele Has Shamed the UK and Show Biz! May God Have Mercy on Her!

“Fans have expressed their fury on social media after Adele cancelled two London concerts at the last minute, costing many people hundreds of pounds.
Some fans have said that she `has zero work ethic` and that it was greedy booking the extra dates if actually performing at them was beyond her capability.
On Friday, the `heartbroken` 29-year-old singer said in an emotional post that she was forced to cancel the gigs this weekend.
Daily Mail

I usually have the radio playing in the background when I`m writing my essays, but when an Adele song comes on, I stop typing and listen. Adele isn`t background music, she`s not ambient noise, her voice speaks to my heart and my soul and it demands my undivided attention.

I`ve written about a dozen articles in praise of Adele, but this time I must rebuke her in no uncertain terms. Adele may be a singer supreme, a national treasure and a diva, but she`s not exempt from abiding by the show biz maxim that the show must go on. I don`t care what vocal issues she may be suffering from, shame on her for canceling her gigs. Even if she suffered a stroke on stage, as long as her vocal chords weren`t paralyzed, I would expect her to finish her performance.

In the tour program that every concertgoer received Adele included this note:

Touring is a peculiar thing, it doesn`t suit me particularly well. I`m a real homebody and I get so much joy in the small things. Plus I`m dramatic and have a terrible history of touring. I only ever did this tour for you and to hopefully have an impact on you the way that some of my favorite artists have had on me live.”

Adele, please stop being such a drama queen, you shouldn`t have disappointed your loyal fans. You should have performed at every stop on your tour, and your fans would have understood if you gave up touring after the completion of your concert tour.

Adele you have shamed the United Kingdom and the show business profession, may the Almighty have mercy on your soul.

Read More:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4658636/Fans-fury-Adele-star-cancels-shows.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Make a Bucket List for Your Pooch

“Mister Molson`s cancer diagnosis wasn`t going to stop his family from enjoying their last months with him. With the tumor in the golden retriever`s nose growing larger, his owners have been taking him on daily bucket list adventures.
Tim Griffin, Molson`s owner, posted the list on a blog and asked readers for suggestions. Since his March diagnosis, Molson, 12, has gone to the beach, ridden in police cars and fire trucks, gotten married, become a service dog and more.”
USA Today
I imagine that Mister Molson`s bucket list wouldn`t include any of the items on the list his owner made for him. I don`t think the pooch dreams about flying a helicopter or riding in a sidecar. But these are all activities that the dog would participate in with his owner, a canine is happy doing anything with his owner.

My pooch, Mandy, doesn`t have a green thumb, but she enjoys hanging out with me when I`m puttering around in my garden.

What would a dog`s bucket list look like?
Chew my owner`s new universal remote control.
Take a dump on that grouchy neighbor`s lawn.
Impregnate that cute poodle.
Urinate on every fire hydrant in the neighborhood.
Lick my ass one last time.

Find a decomposing bone to gnaw.

 Don`t wait until your beloved animal companion is dying, show him some love now. All a pooch wants is to be with his master, include your dog in all of your favorite activities.

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/humankind/2017/06/30/dying-dogs-bucket-list-adventure-make-you-feel-better-world/440286001/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Corey Lewandowski Calls Donald Trump ‘The Hemingway of Twitter’

“Corey Lewandowski likened President Donald Trump to author Ernest Hemingway, and the Twitterverse just couldn`t cope.

Tweeters were quick to poke fun at Trump`s onetime campaign manager after he claimed his former boss was the `Ernest Hemingway of Twitter` on Friday night`s broadcast of `Hannity` on Fox News.

Huffington Post

Hemingway`s economical style would have been a good fit for Twitter, but Lewandowski should burn in hell for comparing Trump to the Nobel Prize for Literature winner. That`s like comparing a toddler coloring in a color book to Picasso or Van Gogh.

Hemingway was a man`s man; he served as an ambulance driver during World War I, reported from the battlefield during the Spanish Civil War, and he was a war correspondent during World War II.

Trump is a sissy who plays at being macho; he body slammed Vince McMahon in WrestleMania 23, fired Gary Busey in Celebrity Apprentice, and engaged in epic Twitter feuds with the likes of Rosie O`Donnell and Arianna Huff.

Hemingway committed suicide, let`s hope and pray that Trump will kill himself, so that at least in the manner of death he will resemble the great writer.

Read More

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-corey-lewandowski-hemingway-twitter-mocked_us_59575568e4b02734df3291bc

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Even Fox News is Turning Against Donald Trump

“President Donald Trump`s tweets got tough coverage at Fox News Channel, a usually friendly media outlet.

The US leader was heavily criticised after he lambasted `Morning Joe` hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski for their coverage of his administration on Twitter – and was rude about Ms Brzezinski`s appearance.

`I heard poorly rated @Morning_Joe speaks badly of me (don`t watch anymore),` Mr Trump wrote. `Then how come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with Psycho Joe, came to Mar-a-Lago 3 nights in a row around New Year`s Eve, and insisted on joining me.`

He added: She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!”

Yahoo

Donald Trump religiously watches the Fox New Network, especially the “Fox and Friends” morning gabfest.

Whatever incoherent policy Trump`s advancing or whatever vulgar tweet he just posted, he can count on the “Fox and Friends” hosts to spin his shi* into gold.

But Trump`s latest ad hominem attack on Mika Brzezinski was so sexist and perverse that even the “Fair and Balanced” network criticized him.

Fox News anchor Shepard Smith, the only politically moderate personality on the network , led his afternoon newscast with Trump`s profane Twitter rant, stating that some critics are calling it sexist cyber bullying.

“Media Buzz” host Howard Kurtz opined that it`s perfectly clear to people who aren`t paid to defend him that he crossed a line.

When Fox turns against Trump you know that he`s in deep trouble. Trump watches Fox for affirmation and moral support, and he tunes into MSNBC and CNN to get his daily fix of outrage. Trump thrives on chaos and controversy, and a few minutes of watching these cable outlets fuels his inferiority complex and he soon lashes out on Twitter.

When the “Fox and Friends” dimwits finally turn against Trump, he will probably suffer a heart attack or go bonkers and nuke North Korea or Canada.

Here`s wishing he suffers a heart attack soon.

Read More:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-apos-morning-joe-082000096.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Female GOP Lawmakers Need to Have ‘Come to Jesus Meeting’ With Donald Trump

I heard poorly rated @Morning_Joe speaks badly of me (don`t watch anymore). Then how come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with Psycho Joe, came…..to Mar-a-Lago 3 nights in a row around New Year`s Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!

Presidential Tweet

This is the tweet heard around the world, it`s been denounced by commentators, pundits, politicians, intellectuals and everyday people of every political persuasion.

Even some GOP lawmakers were finally compelled to condemn Trump`s misogyny. Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski of Alaska and GOP Sen. Susan Collins of Maine spoke out in no uncertain terms against Trump`s sickening tweet. You`d think that these female politicians would be joined by a chorus of sister GOP lawmakers appalled by our president`s ad hominem attack. But too many Republican congresswomen and senators were silent in the face of misogyny and some even defended the indefensible.

Melania Trump`s communications director Stephanie Grisham released this statement: As the First Lady has stated publicly in the past, when her husband gets attacked, he will punch back 10 times harder.

Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel defended Trump`s reprehensible tweet saying “Today, the president acted like a human, and he pushed back.”

Deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders vigorously defended the bully-in-chief, not backing down an inch.

The First Lady has made it her crusade to put an end to online bullying, she can start by speaking out against the biggest bully in the world. Ronna McDaniel is correct, the president acted like a human — a despicable and petty human being. Sarah Huckabee Sanders should be reminded that her job description doesn`t include making excuses for and enabling the worst personality traits of her boss.

Enough is enough, the female Republicans in Congress should demand a meeting with the president. They should make it abundantly clear to him that his sick tweets are endangering his agenda and that he is putting at risk their support.

I don`t know about the Republicans in Congress, but I want to be on the record speaking out against Trump`s insanity. Indeed, it`s incumbent upon all of us, of every political party, to speak truth to power, and condemn Trump`s toxic tweets.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Arkansas Ten Commandments Monument Destroyed Hours After Installation

“A newly installed Ten Commandments monument on Arkansas state Capitol grounds was toppled on Wednesday by a man police said drove his vehicle into the granite slab and posted the incident on Facebook.
`It was shattered into a lot of pieces,` Chris Powell, a spokesman for the Secretary of State and Capitol Police, said in an interview.

The suspect, identified as Michael Reed, 32, was arrested on three charges, including a felony of defacing an object of public interest. Police did not release Reed`s motive for destroying the monument installed in Little Rock on Tuesday.”

Reuters

This is not the first time, and it won`t be the last time the Ten Commandments are smashed. Anyone with a cursory knowledge of the Bible knows that when Moses came down from the mountain, after Jehovah had given him the tablets of stone, he witnessed the Israelites committing fornication, idolatry, and practically every other type of pagan sin under the sun. Moses was so enraged by the sins of the people of God, that he smashed the commandments to smithereens.

Police haven`t released Reed`s motivation for destroying the Ten Commandments monument on Arkansas state Capital grounds, but it`s reasonable to conclude that his act of vandalism wasn`t inspired by the heathen proclivities of the good citizens of Arkansas.

Installing a Ten Commandments monument on Arkansas state Capital grounds is such a provocation, and an affront to our beloved Constitution and the Almighty himself, that even a rational person might be tempted to topple the religious marker.

A Christian church or a Jewish temple would be a perfect place to erect a Ten Commandments monument, but to erect a religious pillar on government property is a blatant violation of our sacred principle of separation of church and state.
I don`t know if Jehovah was mad when Moses destroyed the original Ten Commandments, but I`m guessing He was thrilled when Reed drove his vehicle into the granite slab.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Eric Trump’s New Nazi Haircut

“This week in political style news, Eric Trump got a haircut. It`s bad.
But it`s not just bad because he styled it firmly away from his face, creating a severe forehead arc. And it`s not just bad because he used a handful of motor oil to slick it back like some bad Elvis impersonator. It`s bad because it looks eerily similar to the preferred cut of famed white nationalist Richard Spencer.
We`ve talked about this haircut before. It`s called the high-and-tight. And, while popular in Hollywood and hipster circles lately, it has more of a connection to Nazism than many guys feel comfortable with in Donald Trump`s America-one in which virulent white nationalism has far too much of a foothold in non-fringe circles.

In the 1930s and `40s, the Hitler Youth wore the `do in propaganda posters.

Esquire

A thousand and one articles have been written about Donald Trump`s hair, some speculate that`s it`s a thrift store toupee while other swear it`s a combover from hell. Trump`s hairstyle might not be very presidential, but it`s appropriate for a clown who`s playing at being Leader of the Free World. Every famous clown worth his salt sports a ridiculous hairstyle, why should Trump be any different?

The poop doesn`t drop far from the toilet bowl, Eric Trump just got a haircut that makes him look as ridiculous as his father. Eric`s haircut is almost identical to the hairstyle of white nationalist Richard Spencer, it`s a severe style that`s been favored by racists going all the way back to the Hitler Youth.

Eric`s hairdo is a visual dog whistle, as soon as they see him Nazis immediately realize that he`s simpatico with their racist ideology. If only every racist had the consideration to sport a Nazi haircut, so they could be easily identified.

I shave my head and I haven`t darkened the door of a barber shop for almost 20 years, I wonder if they still have photos of various hairstyles on the wall. Did Eric point to image #6, and tell the barber “I want to look just like that gentleman wearing that Nazi uniform.”

Eric Trump`s high-and-tight haircut may be all the rage in white nationalist circles, but it`s anathema to freedom-loving Americans.

Read More:

http://www.esquire.com/style/grooming/news/a55895/shades-of-richard-spencer/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Majority of Americans Would Give Up Alcohol to See Donald Trump Impeached

“Donald Trump`s presidency has caused stress and anxiety in Americans across the country, many of whom have opted to offset their worries with an extra glass of wine or two or shots of whiskey from time to time. But as it turns out, the majority of citizens say they would quit drinking alcohol tomorrow if it meant the president would be impeached.

Nearly 73 percent of Democrats and 17 percent of Republicans said they would abstain from alcohol for the rest of their lives if they could see the official political process begin to remove Trump, according to a Detox.net survey of 1,013 men and women nationwide.

The latest data set showing support for Trump`s impeachment-an exhaustive political process that includes no definite promise of his removal-comes at a time when multiple Democratic lawmakers are drafting articles of impeachment and at some point could bring them to the floor of Congress.”

Newsweek

The alcoholism rate has skyrocketed (my personal observation) since Donald Trump assumed office, the only way that a rational human being can endure Trump`s tweets, incoherent babbling, and crude behavior is by getting wasted.

The majority of Americans would abstain from alcohol for the rest of their lives if the long and arduous impeachment process began, although we might turn to a controlled substance until the vulgar short-fingered buffoon is finally impeached and removed from office.

I would give up all of my vices, which shall remain unnamed, for the rest of my life if the House drafts articles of impeachment. In fact, in a vow that`s sure to please all of my haters, I would give up writing if the orange fascist was impeached.

But until the moron is impeached we will keep our liquor cabinets well stocked with whiskey and gin.

Read More: http://www.newsweek.com/democrats-quit-drinking-so-donald-trump-impeached-survey-629110

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Outrage! AirAsia Pilot Calls on Passengers to Pray Amid Engine Trouble

“An AirAsia flight headed for Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia was forced to turn back to Perth, Australia on Sunday morning following a severe engine problem.
Passengers described the wild ride as being like a washing machine with rapid shaking and rattling following a huge bang that took place around 75 minutes into the six-hour journey. The shaking, framed as something of an engine seizure, was reported to have been so violent that the pilot – even with 44 years of experience – called on passengers to pray.
Passengers were also asked to keep an eye on the engine outside their window, as the pilot did not have a good view from the cabin.
No one was injured during the terrifying trip on the budget airline, although marine emergency services north of Perth were placed on standby in case a water landing was required, Australia`s local ABC reported.”
Fox News
When an airplane suffers a severe engine problem and cabin is shaking like a washing machine it`s perfectly understandable if all the passengers pray, and beg the Almighty for deliverance. If the plane was rocking and rolling I`d be rolling down the aisle and praying like a holy roller on crack.
But the last thing in the world I want to hear from the captain is a request for the passengers to pray, not once, but twice. In effect he was confessing to his passengers that he was scared shi*less, and that they shouldn`t rely on his experience and expertise, but pray for a miracle.

For a pilot to ask for his passengers to pray when things get a little bit dicey is just as distressing if he had shouted “Allahu Akbar!” The only acceptable form of prayer in the cockpit is silent prayer, for a pilot to make any allusion to a higher power is unacceptable, period!

You get what you pay for, if you fly on a budget airline don`t be surprised if the captain asks the passengers to pray and keep an eye on the sputtering engine outside their window.

After all the negative publicity that this captain has brought on AirAsia, this budget airline doesn`t have a prayer of remaining in business for long.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Jennifer Lopez’ Photoshopped Ab Selfie Sparks Outrage! Shame on the Trifling Celeb!

“Jennifer Lopez says she didn`t Photoshop the enviable ab selfie she posted this week.

The 47-year-old singer and television personality called out critics Thursday after showing off her toned stomach in a new photo on Instagram.

“Omg…Just a smudge on the mirror…lol…not photoshop. #lordblessthehaters #gymrat #youshouldtryit #wishtherewasphotoshopforhaters,” she wrote in the comments after some suggested the picture was digitally altered.”

UPI

Anyone, especially a celebrity, who posts a selfie online, is inviting comments, positive and negative.

I will leave it to J. Lo`s besotted fans to fawn all over her digitally manipulated image that she posted on Instagram.

As an objective observer I will simply report the facts. Not only was the image photoshopped, but Lopez must have sucked in her stomach, I`m surprised the middle-aged tramp didn`t pass out from holding her breath.

Lopez needs to lay off the “haters” and face the hard truth: Her days of topping the pop charts and gracing magazine covers are over.

Link to photoshopped pic:

http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/2017/06/23/Jennifer-Lopez-denies-ab-selfie-was-Photoshopped-Lord-bless-the-haters/3491498235568/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=9

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Moral Outrage! Donald Trump Drives Golf Cart on Green! Video!

I`ve never played golf and I don`t know a driver from a putter, but I do know that you never drive a golf cart on the green. A golfer desecrating a golf course by driving a cart on the green is equivalent to a baseball player pulling down his pants and underwear and adjusting his crotch in the middle of a game. It`s simply unthinkable!

Donald Trump owns over a dozen golf courses, and he plays golf almost every weekend — you`d think he would never violate this cardinal rule, but the lazy shi*head must think he`s above the law.

Johnny Depp is the latest actor to joke about assassinating Trump, I predict that now professional golfers will joke about assassinating the Philistine.

Warning: After watching this video of the fat orange lard driving his golf cart on the green you may join the legions joking about killing Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6IrmHI5j94

June 2017 Archives Page 2

https://robertpaulreyes.com/june-2017-archives-page-two/

Creator of Pink Flamingo Dies at 79

“Rivaled only by the garden gnome and tiki torch, pink flamingos are the ubiquitous lawn ornament of choice for homeowners seeking a vintage, kitschy, ironically tacky splash of summer Americana in the yard.

Donald Featherstone, creator of those wire-legged plastic birds, died at age 79 on Monday, his wife told the Associated Press. As his legacy, he left a product that fuses industry and art in American culture”

USA Today

I lived in apartments all of my adult life until age 43 when I bought my own home, shortly after purchasing my house I did two things that I couldn`t do as an apartment dweller: I adopted a dog, and I painted my house pink and adorned it with pink flamingos.

As a man I wasn`t complete until I had a dog, and as a homeowner and human being I wasn`t complete until I painted my house pink and decorated it with pink flamingos.

Every house on my block is either painted white or has a brick façade; my little dwelling stands out like a diamond in a bag of peanuts.

Many homeowner associations ban pink flamingos because supposedly they aren`t aesthetically pleasing and they negatively affect property values.

My little pink abode with its pink flamingos has enhanced the artistic appeal of my neighborhood, everybody knows me as the grouchy old guy who lives in the cute little pink house.

I have adopted the Southern habit of swinging on my front porch and watching life pass me by. I live a couple of blocks away from a university and it`s not uncommon for college kids to compliment me on my house.

One young lady was so enthralled by my house that she asked if she could take a picture, she said my humble house looked like it belonged in a fairy tale book.

Today I pay tribute to the creator of the pink flamingo, Donald Featherstone. Your heavenly creation has enhanced the value of my house, and lifted the spirits of all those who walk by my home. When I die and go to heaven, I`m convinced that my heavenly residence will be decorated with pink flamingos.

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2015/06/23/creator-of-pink-flamingo/29167809/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Cocky Criminals Caught Trying to Carry Off Cops’ Cocks

“A couple of bird brains broke into barn housing chickens confiscated in a massive raid on upstate cockfighting ring this week and tried to bust the roosters out of the joint – only to find themselves behind bars.

A couple of bird brains broke into barn housing chickens confiscated in a massive raid on upstate cockfighting ring this week and tried to bust the roosters out of the joint – only to find themselves behind bars.”

New York Post

I readily admit that a lot of the weird stories that I cover are chickensh*t, but this tale is pregnant with literary concepts like irony and poetic justice. I may submit this essay for consideration for a Nobel Prize for Literature.

Two bird brain wankers break into a police barn housing roosters confiscated in a raid on a cockfighting ring, only to end up in the hoosegow. This couple didn`t steal the 50 chickens to feed their family, they stole the birds for use in the bloody “sport” of cockfighting.

These morons ended up with eggs on their faces, and I hope and pray that there will be at least a couple of PETA members in prison who will ensure that the male member of this couple will be fighting off cocks during his entire stint behind bars.

Read More:

http://nypost.com/2017/06/22/morons-busted-trying-to-steal-cops-cocks/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren and Nancy Pelosi Will be the Death of the Democratic Party

After Hillary Clinton`s humiliating defeat to know-nothing buffoon Donald Trump you`d think the Democrats would put forth fresh new faces to represent their party, but three hideous, demented, older-than-dirt witches still have a stranglehold on Democratic leadership.

 

The Democrats would be well-advised to tell Hillary to enjoy her retirement in peace, solitude and QUIET, force Nancy Pelosi to resign, and suggest that it`s time that Elizabeth Warren retires to a reservation.

The Democrats are too politically-correct to tell these witches that their time is over, and they need to take a hike in a forest that`s teeming with bears and wolves. These strident, shrieking old hags are leading the Democratic Party to ruin.

Jon Ossoff`s three-point loss Tuesday in Georgia`s 6th Congressional can be directly attributed to Pelosi, Republican victor Karen Handel`s commercials successfully painted Ossoff as an acolyte of the House Minority Leader.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell famously silenced Warren when the grandstanding drama queen read a letter from Coretta Scott King during a debate over the nomination of Sen. Jeff Sessions. Is there not one Democrat with the balls to tell Warren to shut the hell up?

Then there`s Hillary, the horror flick monster who refused to die, after suffering humiliating losses to a relatively unknown senator from Illinois in 2007, and a vulgar clown in 2016, she should have publicly announced her retirement from politics and devoted the rest of her wretched life in support of Slick Willy`s rape victims.

But no, she`s still the face of the Democratic Party granting interviews and speaking to whatever group will pay her hefty speaking fee. I`m an Independent, but I won`t vote for any Democratic candidate until they rid themselves of these deplorable creatures.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

June 2017 Archives Page 2

https://robertpaulreyes.com/june-2017-archives-page-two/

 

Shock Jock Resigns After Being Asked Not to Criticize Donald Trump

“Bruce Bond has quit his position at WTPA.

The reason for Bond`s departure, he said, was that he was unwilling to comply with a directive from the WTPA general manager to curtail political discussion, specifically regarding President Trump.

The outspoken shock jock shared a photo on Facebook of a letter asking him to not criticize the president. In the post, Bond said that `there is this really ugly political environment in this country with the current President` and that he would be unable to continue in the job if he were unable to `continue being honest to my fans & listeners.`”

Penn Live

To demand that a shock jock refrain from criticizing Trump is akin to insisting that a basketball player refrain from trash talking or requiring a baseball player not to adjust his crotch.

Trump is a big fat target, and he provides enough fodder for a shock jock to make fun of him all day long. I`ve even heard disc jockeys at easy listening radio stations wax apoplectic condemning Trump.

I write a column for The Ledger, a conservative publication, and the publisher has enough sense not to demand that I resist from criticizing Trump. I`ve written over a hundred anti-Trump articles in the last couple of years; I would go nuts if I didn`t have an outlet for ridiculing the buffoon.

Kudos to Bond for prizing his integrity and character over a salary, even if he`s only able to land a job doing a podcast he`s much better off.

Read More: http://www.pennlive.com/life/2017/06/bruce_bond_quit_wtpa.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Is Sean Spicer About to be Fired?

“CNN White House correspondent Jim Acosta on Monday said White House press secretary Sean Spicer is `just kind of useless` as tensions continue to escalate between the Trump administration and the press corps.

`So the White House press secretary is getting to a point, Brooke, where he`s just kind of useless,` Acosta said during an appearance on CNN Newsroom with Brooke Baldwin.

`You know, if he can`t come out and answer the questions and they`re just not going to do this on camera or audio, why are we even having these briefings or these gaggles in the first place?`

Acosta`s comments came just after Spicer held an off-camera press briefing that reporters were not allowed to record.”

CNN

Sean Spicer is the incredible shrinking man, when he first started his job he was holding daily briefings, Monday through Friday. Now he`s holding briefings only two or three times a week, and the press isn`t allowed to record some of them. To add insult to injury his deputy Sarah Huckabee Sanders sometimes takes a turn at the podium.

No shi*, Spicer is “kind of useless,” his boss has cut off his balls, and silenced him, he`s a husk of his former self. Granted Spicey isn`t a master of elocution, but he`s smart and personable. Spicer is in an impossible situation, even the most eloquent speaker in the world would be hard-pressed to make sense of Donald Trump`s incoherent tweets and rambling speeches.

The only way that Spicer can redeem himself is by holding a final press conference in which he answers every question clearly and honestly, of course that will expose Trump as an idiot. Spicer can close his briefing by resigning, and removing the baton from his hind quarters and passing it on to Huckabee.

It`s not really the White House Press Secretary who needs to resign, it`s the buffoon who makes his job a living hell.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

For God’s Sake Bill Clinton Embrace Your Black Son, Danney Williams

“Danney Williams is tenaciously pursuing a relationship with the man he claims is his father.
Williams, who asserts Bill Clinton is his real father and has publicly asked the former president for a paternity test, took to Twitter on Sunday to wish his `dad` Happy Father`s Day.
`Even though you abandoned me and only took care of Chelsea, I still want to thank you for giving me life,` Williams wrote.
About 30 minutes later, he continued, `I`m not looking for sympathy nor welfare, I just wish you didn`t forget about me.`”
American Mirror
Bill Clinton is fondly referred to as the first black president, so it`s not surprising that he sired a black son. Slick Willy had a penchant for trolling trailer parks in search of white women of dubious virtue, but occasionally he also ventured into housing projects in search of prostitutes.
According to the Daily Mail in 1984 Bill Clinton jogged by a housing project where he met a prostitute named Bobbie Ann Williams. Clinton didn`t talk politics with her, but you could say they discussed economics, they settled on $200 for sexual intercourse.

When she found herself pregnant in 1985 Williams suspected that it was Clinton`s love child, she informed Clinton of the pregnancy, he denied paternity. Decades later Clinton is still denying he`s the baby daddy, and he refuses to take a paternity test.

Bill Clinton has done very few admirable things in his life, but I admire him for accepting Chelsea as his daughter, even though she`s a dead ringer for her real father, Webb Hubbell, Hillary`s former law partner.

If Clinton accepts the homely Chelsea as his daughter even though he`s not the father, then he should certainly accept the handsome Williams as his son.

Could it be that the first black president is prejudiced against blacks and doesn`t hesitate to claim lily-white Chelsea as his daughter, but is repulsed by the fact that black Williams is his son?

For God`s sake do the right thing and embrace your son!

 Read More:
http://www.theamericanmirror.com/bill-clinton-son-wishes-dad-happy-fathers-day/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Gay Teacher Flashes Gay Attitude in Oval Office! Donald Trump Unfazed by His Gay Spirit!

“Gay teacher Nikos Giannopoulos` displayed his LGBTQ pride as he sported a rainbow pin and clutched a lacy fan in an official photo with President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump. And now the Rhode Island teacher of the year`s bold stand for LGBTQ rights has gotten global attention after the image went viral on Facebook.”

Huffington Post

Donald Trump may be many things, but he`s not homophobic. In the entertainment business, where Trump has thrived for decades, there are more gays than you can shake a feather boa at, I`m sure he`s seen more flamboyant characters than a guy sporting a rainbow pin and clutching a lacy fan.

As a matter of fact Trump told the gay teacher that he looked very stylish. I know how Trump rolls, it wouldn`t have been out of character for him to exclaim: Work it girlfriend!

Although Trump isn`t homophobic some members of his administration, most notably Vice President Mike Pence, aren`t very gay friendly. Had Giannopoulos posed with Pence in all his gay splendor, he would have attempted to cast the gay demons out of him.

Kudos to Giannopoulos for flying his freak flag high in the Oval Office, you need a little bit of color to counterbalance the Orange Menace.

Gay pic:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teacher-of-the-year-trump_us_5944c6c3e4b01eab7a2de4d2

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Millennial Wankers Get Lost in the Woods Searching for UFO’s

“Three young hikers who were looking for UFOs got stranded in Blue Hills Reservation and had to be rescued by police Thursday night. But they said their harrowing night on high ground outside Boston paid off.

One of the hikers, Ramona DiFrancesco, 18, said the group saw several UFOs during their journey, including `three bright lights in the formation of a triangle` and a giant orb that looked `bigger than the moon.`

Boston Globe

These millennial scum had smart phones, but no flashlights. To go hiking in the woods, in the evening, without flashlights is nuttier than believing in UFO`s.
These morons claim to have seen several UFO`s during their adventure, including a giant orb that looked “bigger than the moon.” Idiots, if you smoke enough weed the moon will look bigger than the moon.
What fate should befall these three millennial wankers who got lost in the woods searching for flying saucers:

Discover that bears not only shi* in the woods, but they also dine on wankers trespassing on their territory.

They see a UFO in the sky, and they have a close encounter of the third kind. After being anally-probed by aliens for hours they stumble out of the woods walking bowlegged like a mother.

They are rescued by first responders, and the cops proceed to beat the holy hell out of them for wasting their time and resources.
For God`s sake, enough of this UFO tomfoolery!
Read More:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2017/06/09/ufo-hunters-get-lost-blue-hills/6ZH8fRmUcRXxnz6LHFyhEI/story.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Pic of Kim Jong-un’s Face Featured on $80 Male Romper

“An online retailer is offering a male romper featuring a close-up photo of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un`s face.

The bizarre garment for sale by Getonfleek clothing is covered entirely with a print showing the eyes, nose and mouth of a smiling Kim.

“Our Kim Jong Un Romper for men is the perfect all over print mens romper, made with premium double sided sublimation,” the item description states.”

UPI

The male romper is the most disturbing garment ever conceived and a sign of the end times, when the Antichrist reveals himself you can be sure he will be clad in a romper.

If romper-clad hipsters moved in next door, I would set their house on fire. I will simply not allow my neighborhood to go to hell in a handbasket.

A male romper featuring a giant close-up image of Kim Jong-un`s face is the devil`s handiwork, and the designer should be burned at the stake.

The unique romper is on sale online for $79.99, only a twisted wanker would buy such a perverted outfit.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/06/16/Photo-of-Kim-Jong-Uns-face-featured-on-80-male-romper/6661497623660/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=14

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Tiny Orange Dot on Melania’s Birthday Card to Donald Trump Stumps Internet

“On Wednesday it was the 71st birthday of President Donald Trump and his wife wished him well via Twitter.

But a subtle detail on the image of a birthday card she tweeted to her husband has left many online scratching their heads — a small orange dot.

Since she published the image on Wednesday evening, more than 40,000 users have “liked” the first lady`s post — and many have speculated on about whatever could have caused the glaring stain.”

AOL

I wouldn`t be surprised if Melania does most of her communication with her husband via Twitter, she`s been videotaped more than once swatting away his tiny hand. She doesn`t want his diminutive hands anywhere near her butt, boobs or vagina.

As far as what the small orange dot means, here`s a few thoughts:

Fingerprint

The dot is orange and tiny, let`s hope it`s a fingerprint and not an impression left by his tiny presidential penis.

Signet ring impression

An impression left by Trump`s signet ring, his ring would feature a tiny engraved pumpkin.

A teardrop

Trump would have been so touched that Melania still pretends to love him, that he might have shed a tear or two. Of course any of Donald`s tears are orange after running down his fake tanned face.

Deliberate distraction

Conspiracy theorists believe that this tiny mark was deliberately created to distract the American public from Russiagate.

Covfefe

Was Trump drinking covfefe while admiring his birthday card?

Donald`s soul

These tiny pixels may represent his soul.

What do you think, my friend?

Pic of Trump`s Birthday Card:

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/06/15/tiny-mark-on-melania-trumps-birthday-card-to-donald-trump-spark-wild-theories/22314561/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Book Featuring Pics of Cats and Boobs Ultimate Therapeutic Experience

“If there`s one thing you see more of on the internet than boobs, it`s cats.

So innovative Japanese photographer Yuki Aoyama has done what now seems so obvious: combined the two.

 

His collection, released in a book titled `Painyan` (a pun in Japanese on the words for `breast` and `meow`), contains 96 pages of beautiful women with cute kitties. The contented cats can be seen pawing at cleavages, settling inside blouses and even resting between two sets of breasts.”

Daily Mail

A book that combines two of the Internet`s hottest trends (cats and boobs) is destined to be a bestseller. Cool cats and Hot chicks = sizzling sales.

This book is family-friendly, only the cats are naked, all of the women are wearing G-rated cleavage-baring tops. Your two-year-old toddler will enjoy this book as much as your 22-year-old husband.

Reading this book is more therapeutic than drinking milk and eating oatmeal cookies while getting a foot rub by a geisha. Even the photo of the kitty resting between two sets of breasts didn`t induce any threesome fantasies, my only thought was “that kitten sure looks comfortable.” I`m not gay, not that there`s anything wrong with being gay, really!

I love cats, books and beautiful women, this book would make the perfect gift for me. Hint!

Pics of the adorable cats and beautiful women:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4583588/Japanese-photographer-releases-book-breasts-cats.html#ixzz4k0hBZSWv

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Top Ten Donald Trump Resignation Tweets

“Everyone knows that if President Trump resigns, he`ll do it on Twitter.”

USA Today

 

I agree if Donald Trump resigns because he`s facing certain impeachment, he`ll do it on Twitter. Here are some possible Trump resignation declarations on Twitter:

I was hounded out of office by losers. SAD!

I accomplished so many great and beautiful things in only two years. BELIEVE ME! No need to remain in office. PEACE OUT!

I hereby resign. Mike Pence will be almost as great as I was. ALMOST! He`s the “gayest” born-again Christian I know, but I love the gays!!

For last time my hands are BIG! so BIG! And with my BIG hands I type my last prez message: See ya LOSERS

COVFEFE THIS bitches! I QUIT!

When I pinched Sarah Huckabee Sanders fat butt I knew I been here too long. I freaking quit!

SPICY has beautiful brown nose. so Beautiful! I could use him as my house boy at Trump Tower

Goodbye White House, RUSSIA here I come!!

Aw Retirement GOLDEN SHOWERS GOLDEN YEARS

SESSIONS can finally exhale. I intimidated him so much when I farted he complimented me on my cologne.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump’s Cabinet Meeting: An Exercise in Kissing Ass

“Leave it to Donald Trump to reinvent the Cabinet meeting.

The public portion of these gatherings of all of the president`s top advisers are usually staid affairs. Photographers are let in to take pictures. The president makes a very brief statement. A reporter shouts a question, unanswered. The end.

Donald Trump did something very different in his Cabinet meeting Monday
Once Trump finished touting his administration`s accomplishments, he turned to several of his newly-minted Cabinet secretaries like Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue. Each of those Cabinet secretaries lavished praise on Trump, which he accepted without comment but with a broad smile.

At first, I thought Trump was just going to have the new members of the Cabinet spend a few minutes praising him. NOPE! It soon became clear that Trump planned to have every Cabinet member speak. And when I say speak what I really mean is praise Trump for his accomplishments, his foresight, his just being awesome.”

CNN

This has now become standard practice in the Trump administration, whenever the president makes a big announcement or celebrates an accomplishment, he first has a few flunkies from his cabinet or administration offer laudatory remarks of his royal highness.

I`m surprised he didn`t call on Sean Spicer to powder his nose, kiss his ass, and shine his shoes.

Whenever I see Trump with officials from his administration I`m reminded of North Korea`s Dear Leader, his sycophants always appear as if they are enthralled to be in the presence of deity.

It would restore my faith in humankind if one of his cabinet members had simply told the truth:

Serving in your cabinet has been the most humiliating experience of my life, you demand loyalty, but offer none in return. You will throw us under the bus without hesitation if it serves your purposes. Before I`m emasculated to the point where I`m incapable of making love to my wife, I quit. See you later, you orange freaking fascist.

Whenever Trump`s advisors and administration officials act so obsequiously toward their Fearless Leader, it doesn`t make him look better, it just makes him look like a narcissistic buffoon totally lacking in self-confidence.

Read More:


http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/12/politics/donald-trump-cabinet-meeting/index.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes