Can You Imagine Trump Revealing That Extraterrestrials Are Real?

On Monday, the Pentagon released three videos depicting UFO’s executing flying maneuvers that defy the laws of physics. Some people are wondering if the government is preparing us for the greatest reveal in human history: extraterrestrials are real and they’ve made contact with us.

When our president is suggests that injecting or swallowing disinfectants may kill the coronavirus, naturally we all hope there’s intelligent life somewhere in the universe.

According to Wikipedia The Milky Way contains between 100 and 400 billion stars and at least 100 billion planets, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to deduce that there’s probably intelligent extraterrestrial beings.

I’m praying that extraterrestrials will never make contact with us, because if an alien says “take me to your leader” and we introduce him to grotesquely obese Donald Trump with his urine-colored hair and mouth that looks like a sphincter, he may just destroy our planet.

I don’t think the Pentagon has proof that extraterrestrials have visited our planet, because Trump wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut. If Trump had proof that extraterrestrials are real can you imagine him at his next press conference:

My fellow Americans, I will soon make the most important announcement in history. No king, president or dictator has ever made such a huge and mindboggling proclamation as I will make sometime before the election. When I make this bigly revelation, I will win in the biggest landslide in American history.  


For millenniums, humankind has reported seeing UFOs in every continent, nation and village. The belief in UFOs in as universal as the belief in a Supreme Being, but faith in extraterrestrials who have never been captured on video or a photograph isn`t quite as accepted as faith in an invisible deity.

Cave men drew paintings on caves that depicted flying saucers and extraterrestrials, their descendants left us beautiful oil paintings of flying objects and unearthly creatures, and our generation takes photographs and videos of mysterious spacecraft.

No scientist has proven or disproven the existence of God, and no astronomer or cosmologist has proven or disproven the existence of extraterrestrial intelligent life.

Christians and Muslims base their faith in their respective Holy Scriptures, and UFO true believers point to grainy photographs and out-of-focus videos of UFOs to bolster their faith.

On Easter Sunday Christians celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ as recorded in the Gospels, and ufologists harken back to Roswell as evidence that we have been visited by alien beings.

There are always miraculous healings and unexpected answers to prayers that believers cling to as an affirmation of their faith, and there are always news stories about UFOs that UFO believers cite as proof of the existence of extraterrestrials.

I have written many articles ridiculing UFO enthusiasts, but perhaps I should be more forgiving, if history teaches us anything, it`s that humankind needs to believe in something greater than ourselves, be it a Supreme Being or extraterrestrial beings.

Happy Easter and long live the memory of Roswell!

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Tiny Flying Saucer Rediscovered at London Science Museum After 59 Years

“Fragments of a miniature flying saucer from an incident known as the British Roswell have been rediscovered in a cigarette box at London`s Science Museum.

The item was originally discovered on Silpho Moor near Scarborough in 1957. The 16-inch metal disc weighing 22 lbs was reportedly inscribed with hieroglyphics similar to those found on the Roswell incident wreckage in 1947; the most infamous of all supposed UFO discoveries.

The unidentified object was found to contain a book made of 17 thin copper sheets, each covered in more hieroglyphics. Local café owner Philip Longbottom claimed the book translated into a 2,000-word message from an alien called Ullo, warning: You will improve or disappear.

Experts at the Natural History Museum in London quickly decided that the `Silpho UFO` was an elaborate hoax, as there was no evidence that the metal was from elsewhere in the solar system, and the item showed no signs of having passed through Earth`s atmosphere at high temperatures.”

International Business Times

London`s Science Museum would be well-advised to hire a dozen security personnel as UFO nuts will soon descend upon it to venerate the UFO artifact.

The 16-inch metal disc inscribed with hieroglyphics was originally discovered on Silpho Moor near Scarborough in 1957. Hmm, could it be that this mysterious disc was an early prototype of the Wham-O Frisbee, and the “hieroglyphics” were actually copyright symbols?

Experts at the Natural Museum in London quickly dismissed the “Silpho UFO` as an elaborate hoax, but UFO experts will no doubt claim that the tiny flying saucer belongs to a Lilliputian race of aliens from the planet Uranus.

The unidentified object contained a book made of 17 thin copper sheets covered in hieroglyphics. A UFO-loving weirdo claimed the 2,000 word message was a message from an alien warning the human race: Improve or disappear. I`m not an expert on deciphering hieroglyphics, but I would guess the message is actually: There`s a sucker born every minute.

Enough already with this UFO tomfoolery!

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Aussie Videotapes UFO on Christmas

“BE IT a bird, a plane, or Santa dropping off some last minute presents – something unexplained was seen circling the Sunshine Coast skies last night.

Coast resident Renee Anderson caught the unidentified flying object on video while celebrating Christmas with family and friends.”

Sunshine Coast Daily

On Christmas children search the skies in hopes of catching a glimpse of Santa`s sleigh, and child-like adults stare at the skies in hopes of seeing a UFO.

In Australia it`s never a good idea to scan the skies in search of UFOs, while your looking up a dingo may kidnap your baby, or a kangaroo might deliver a swift kick to your arse.

The newspaper article states that Renee Anderson was celebrating Christmas when she saw the UFO, and the filmed it and posted the video on Facebook. Perhaps if she had done a little less celebrating she wouldn`t have embarrassed herself and her family by posting the dubious video on social media.

Moral of this story:

If you videotape a UFO while you are drunk as a skunk, wait until you sober up before posting it online.

Link to video:

Is a Cigar-shaped Asteroid Really a UFO?

“Are intelligent extraterrestrials trying to communicate with or study us? Some scientists think that`s a possibility-and that it`s happening right now. Starting at 3 p.m. EST on Wednesday, researchers with the Breakthrough Listen initiative began pointing a powerful radio telescope toward a mysterious object visiting the solar system, hopeful they could detect signs that the interstellar interloper is actually of alien origin.

The object in question is `Oumuamua, an asteroid from another star system currently zipping past Jupiter at about 196,000 miles per hour, too fast to be trapped by the sun`s gravitational pull. First discovered in mid-October by astronomers at the Pan-STARRS project at the University of Hawaii, the 800-meter-long, 80-meter-wide, cigar-shaped rock is, technically speaking, weird as hell-and that`s precisely why some scientists think it`s not a natural object.”


Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but is a cigar-shaped asteroid really an extraterrestrial spacecraft?

I hope not, from an aesthetic perspective I prefer flying saucers to look well, like flying saucers.

Human beings are supposed to be awestruck at the technology and engineering skill of alien races that have mastered interstellar travel, I`m sorry but a UFO that looks like a giant penis doesn`t impress me at all.

But maybe this object is a galactic Trojan Horse, and humankind won`t realize it`s really a UFO until it lands in the Rose Garden and thousands of aliens invade the White House and impale Donald Trump with the mother of all anal probes.

Wouldn`t that be terrific?

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Does Fresco Painting Prove UFOs Were Present at Christ’s Crucifixion?

“Aliens were hovering around at Christ`s crucifixion – but the little green swine didn`t lift a finger to help the son of God as he hung there.

That`s the conclusion of conspiracy theorists – who claim to have spotted an actual UFO hovering near the cross in a depiction of the death of Christ.

A fresco painting in a church in Svetitskhoveli Cathedral in Georgia shows a little floating disc next to Jesus`s body – and naturally, conspiracy theorists have gone wild.

The website Ancient Aliens says, `The unknown artist seems to be telling us that these flying saucers were present during the death of Jesus.`”


For decades UFO nuts have claimed that fuzzy specks in photographs and videos are flying saucers, but all this “evidence” doesn`t amount to a hill of beans or a ton of megapixels.

In a novel twist a UFO enthusiast is claiming that a painting that depicts the crucifixion of Jesus Christ includes a flying saucer.

Artists, past and present, use symbols to represent metaphysical or spiritual concepts. For example a modern-day artist might paint an orange piece of dung to represent Donald Trump.

The object in the fresco painting that looks like a UFO is probably meant to represent a demon, certainly there was a lot of evil present when Christ was crucified.

There are no flying saucers in photographs, paintings or in real life. Get over it people, our evil little planet is of no interest to higher intelligence.

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Millennial Wankers Get Lost in the Woods Searching for UFO’s

“Three young hikers who were looking for UFOs got stranded in Blue Hills Reservation and had to be rescued by police Thursday night. But they said their harrowing night on high ground outside Boston paid off.

One of the hikers, Ramona DiFrancesco, 18, said the group saw several UFOs during their journey, including `three bright lights in the formation of a triangle` and a giant orb that looked `bigger than the moon.`

Boston Globe

These millennial scum had smart phones, but no flashlights. To go hiking in the woods, in the evening, without flashlights is nuttier than believing in UFO`s.

These morons claim to have seen several UFO`s during their adventure, including a giant orb that looked “bigger than the moon.” Idiots, if you smoke enough weed the moon will look bigger than the moon.

What fate should befall these three millennial wankers who got lost in the woods searching for flying saucers:

Discover that bears not only shi* in the woods, but they also dine on wankers trespassing on their territory.

They see a UFO in the sky, and they have a close encounter of the third kind. After being anally-probed by aliens for hours they stumble out of the woods walking bowlegged like a mother.

They are rescued by first responders, and the cops proceed to beat the holy hell out of them for wasting their time and resources.

For God`s sake, enough of this UFO tomfoolery!

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Painter Paints UFO’s and ET’s He’s Seen Face to Face

“It`s no secret that the U.S. government has been discussing UFOs for quite some time; leaked FBI documents, emails from the Clinton campaign, the black budget secret space program, and even quotes from former U.S. presidents have confirmed that. Even the Vatican has addressed extraterrestrial intelligence, yet many people will simply brush off this subject as if it`s a joke.

Well, that`s not the case for Spanish artist Robert Llimós. After seeing a UFO and ETs face to face, he was inspired to share his experiences through his art. By painting what he saw, he hopes to desensitize people to ETs so that hopefully, if and when they finally return, people won`t be scared of their appearances.”

Collective Evolution

Spanish artist Robert Llimos paints himself as a humanitarian and peacemaker who paints UFO`s and extraterrestrials beings he has seen face to face to desensitize people to ET`s so that when they finally land and reveal themselves, humans won`t be afraid of their appearance.

The only thing Llimos has seen face to face is his paltry bank account, and in a desperate bid to increase sales of his UFO and ET paintings he claims he experienced close encounters of the 3rd kind with little green men from Mars.

I would welcome extraterrestrials with open arms, they aren`t as scary as the greedy and deceitful human heart.

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