Author: robertpaulreyes

Hillary Clinton is Always on Donald Trump’s Mind

During the general election Donald Trump often implied that Hillary Clinton was in terrible health, to hear him tell it she had one foot in the grave and her lover Huma Abedin was desperately clutching her other foot to prevent the Grim Reaper from dragging her to hell.

But truth be told Trump wants her to live forever, or at least for the next four years.

When a crisis hits the White House Trump returns to campaign-style rhetoric in an attempt to shift attention away from the scandal du jour.

In a series of tweets Saturday morning, the president questioned Hillary`s ties to Russia, as well as her use of a private email server during her tenure as Secretary of State.

`So many people are asking why isn`t the A.G. or Special Council looking at the many Hillary Clinton or Comey crimes. 33,000 e-mails deleted?`, Trump tweeted.

First of all, nobody is asking Jack about Hillary, we are doing our best to forget the witch.

Secondly, he is the only jackass in the world who is asking why the Special COUNCIL isn`t looking at Hillary`s crimes. It`s Special COUNSEL, you frigging moron.

Trump would be well-advised to forget Hillary and concentrate on dealing with the scandals destroying his administration.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump: Comey Used ‘Golden Showers’ Dossier As Leverage

“President Donald Trump breathed new life into one of the oddest political scandals in the country`s history Wednesday when he alleged to The New York Times that former FBI Director James Comey may have tried to use the so-called `Golden Shower` dossier as leverage over him.

The memo was generated by former British spy Christopher Steele, and, among other accusations, it contained a wild claim that Trump once hired prostitutes to urinate in front of him on a bed that former President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama had slept on at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton. The report claimed that a video existed of the alleged incident, but no proof has surfaced to date.”

Yahoo News

If a political operative alleged that a politician had hired prostitutes to urinate on a hotel bed that one of his opponents had once slept on, it would immediately be dismissed as political dirty tricks of the lowest order.

But nobody was particularly surprised or shocked when a former British spy claimed that Donald Trump hired escorts to urinate on a hotel bed that former President Barack Obama had slept on.

After all an obscene and vulgar man who brags about the size of his manhood and boasts that he can get away with grabbing woman by their genitals is capable of anything.

Allegedly a video exists of the whores urinating on the bed while Trump nods in approval, but if it were released Trump wouldn`t lose the support of his base. His followers would insist it was a miracle: Holy water emanating from the nether regions of virtuous women, a prophecy that the Lord would soon be blessing America with golden showers of the Trump presidency.

Trump`s presidency has been anything but a blessing, and it would be in character if a man who has been shi**ing on the Constitution for the last six months hired call girls to urinate on a bed.

Trump is his own worst enemy, he keeps mouthing off about all things Russia. I hope and pray that he will be impeached and showered with rotten eggs.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/trump-comey-used-golden-shower-140149845.html

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Americans Aren’t Naming Their Babies ‘Donald’ Because of Vulgarian Donald Trump

“The name Donald has been losing popularity in the United States for decades, but it took its biggest drop in 2016, and Donald Trump may be the reason why.

The name ranked 488 in the Social Security Administration`s annual report on popular baby names for boys in 2016, down from 441 in 2015 and 418 in 2014. (The most popular boy`s name last year was Noah.)

Of roughly 4 million births last year, 621 babies were named Donald, according to the Social Security report released in May.”

USA TODAY

Donald Trump is 71-years-old, and decades of his dissolute and decadent lifestyle has done incalculable damage to his name.

There are many buildings throughout the world that bear Trump`s name, but after only six months in office he has so badly tarnished his reputation that when he leaves office, I doubt that there will be any schools or public buildings named after him.

It`s certainly no surprise that the name “Donald” has plunged in popularity, why would any parents saddle their bouncing baby boy with a name that repulses polite society?

Parents would rather name their newborn “Damien,” “Lucifer” or “Little Bastard,” anything but Donald.

I love my first name, I`m exceedingly grateful that a degenerate son of a bitch hasn`t destroyed the name “Robert.”

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Shock Video! Mariah Carey is so Fat She Can Barely Dance!

“A recent Mariah Carey performance is making the rounds on the internet after fans noticed that she wasn`t dancing on stage.

The video of the singer`s performance in Las Vegas shows her barely dancing while singing her hit song, `Honey.`

As her back-up dancers dance energetically around her, Carey ever so slightly bounces her hips and lifts her arms. She doesn`t actually budge from her spot on the stage until she`s lifted by one of the dancers and set to rest on the backs of a few other dancers.”

MSN.Com

Mariah Carey was a huge star in the 90`s, now she`s just huge – she resembles a baby hippo.

Granted even an anorexic dancer would have trouble dancing wearing CFM shoes with tall stiletto heels, but the ageing crooner is moving as slow as molasses.

Had I been in the audience I would have harpooned the fat-ass celeb and put her out of her misery.

The fat cow doesn`t budge from her spot on the stage until she`s lifted by one the dancers. I hope the dancer didn`t strain his back, he should have tossed her off the stage.

I realize this article is focusing on her physique, but do you really want me to address her singing skills? She`s washed up, she can no longer carry a tune.

Link to video:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/music/news/a-video-of-mariah-carey-barely-dancing-while-performing-in-las-vegas-is-going-viral/ar-AAosjnp?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartanntp

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Does Fresco Painting Prove UFOs Were Present at Christ’s Crucifixion?

“Aliens were hovering around at Christ`s crucifixion – but the little green swine didn`t lift a finger to help the son of God as he hung there.

That`s the conclusion of conspiracy theorists – who claim to have spotted an actual UFO hovering near the cross in a depiction of the death of Christ.

A fresco painting in a church in Svetitskhoveli Cathedral in Georgia shows a little floating disc next to Jesus`s body – and naturally, conspiracy theorists have gone wild.

The website Ancient Aliens says, `The unknown artist seems to be telling us that these flying saucers were present during the death of Jesus.`”

Metro

For decades UFO nuts have claimed that fuzzy specks in photographs and videos are flying saucers, but all this “evidence” doesn`t amount to a hill of beans or a ton of megapixels.

In a novel twist a UFO enthusiast is claiming that a painting that depicts the crucifixion of Jesus Christ includes a flying saucer.

Artists, past and present, use symbols to represent metaphysical or spiritual concepts. For example a modern-day artist might paint an orange piece of dung to represent Donald Trump.

The object in the fresco painting that looks like a UFO is probably meant to represent a demon, certainly there was a lot of evil present when Christ was crucified.

There are no flying saucers in photographs, paintings or in real life. Get over it people, our evil little planet is of no interest to higher intelligence.

Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2017/07/17/painting-proves-aliens-were-present-at-christs-crucifixion-ufo-fans-claim-6784461/#ixzz4nDes04BY

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I Can’t Wait Until Robots Rule the World

“Robots will take our jobs, sure-if they live that long.

This we know: There are many dystopian predictions of how our future robot overlords will take our jobs. Two-thirds of Americans believe that robots will be doing the jobs of humans in 50 years.

But thanks to one widely shared photo on Monday, we know that at least we`re still superior in one area: swimming.

Twitter user Bilal Farooqi shared a photo of a robot that wandered into a watering hole at his company`s D.C. office building.”

Ladder.com

The photo of the 300-pound Knightscope K5 model Security robot that fell into a pool is giving people the false impression that we are superior to robots.

The first generation robots are logical machines, encumbered by emotions, and therefore already superior to human beings.

In a couple of generations robots will be superior in every conceivable way, intellectually, physically and aesthetically.

They will be pushing us into pools and laughing at our impotency to do anything about it.

Human beings have made a total mess of everything in our dominion, I can`t wait for the robots to take over.

A Furby would do a better job than Donald Trump; I hope I will be alive to witness a super computer as Leader of the Free World.

https://www.theladders.com/p/24160/drowned-robot-and-human-superiority

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Twerk the Twerking Kitten an Internet Sensation

“A kitten that has become an internet sensation thanks to her hot dance moves has been adopted.

Twerk, who is about 4 months old, suffers from cerebellar hypoplasia (CH), a brain disorder that causes her body to shake, making it look like she`s doing the dance popularized by pop stars like Miley Cyrus.”

Yahoo

Twerk is a beautiful kitten and her twerking dance moves are adorable. I hope this special needs kitty will be spoiled rotten by her new owners.

Twerk doesn`t twerk because she has a skanky nature, her dance moves can be attributed to a brain disorder that causes her rear end to shake uncontrollably.

Celebrities like Miley Cyrus don`t twerk due to a brain disorder, they are afflicted with a disease of the soul that compels them to dance like shameless whores on crack.

When I see Twerk twerk I feel like hugging her and giving her a big kiss, when I see Cyrus twerk I feel giving her a swift kick in the ass.

Link to video:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/apos-twerk-apos-kitten-does-193200353.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Farting Passenger Forces Passengers Off Airplane

“A person who `passed gas` on an American Airlines plane on Sunday afternoon forced all passengers off the jet, officials said.

The incident happened when passengers on the flight became ill with nausea and headaches, according to a spokesperson with Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

All the passengers were taken off the plane and after the incident was investigated it was determined that a passenger `passed gas,` the official said.”

WNCN

After waiting in lines for hours and being groped by TSA goons, passengers finally board their plane, but their nightmare has just started.

A cattle-car affords more amenities than an airplane, where do I start? A seat with ample leg room — for a midget, overhead compartments that are too small to accommodate your luggage, flight attendants with the bedside manner of a serial killer, obese passengers who invade your precious personal space …

Then there`s always that flatulent passenger, and keep it mind that even if the cabin air was fart-free, it`s already germ-laden, rancid, and fetid.

In almost every public setting if you feel that you are about to pass gas, you can always find a restroom where you can fart away to your heart`s content without sickening others.

But an airplane has only one or two bathrooms, and there`s always a line, you have no choice but to let your fart escape to the dismay of your fellow passengers.

To make matters worse the gross airplane meals are guaranteed to make your farts smell like something that could only emanate from Satan`s arsehole.

I can deal with snakes on a plane, and even with jihadists on a plane, but nobody can deal with a farter on a plane.

American Airlines later released a statement that nobody believes:

We did have an aircraft from Charlotte to RDU this afternoon, that landed at 2:19 p.m. ET, and arrived the gate at 2:21 p.m. ET, that is currently out of service for an actual mechanical issue – and odor in the cabin. But It is not due to “passed gas” as mentioned.

Read More:

http://wncn.com/2017/07/16/passed-gas-forces-passengers-from-plane-at-rdu-spokesperson-says/

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George the Skateboarding Cat is a Fraud

“There are cool cats, and then there’s a level above that, topped by this skateboarding kitten.

Twitter user @ericaclaire shared some photos of her adorable kitten on Saturday, proving to the world that some cats are just born hip.”

Yahoo.com

Multitudes of cats have gained Internet fame due to their adorable physical deformities (Grumpy the Cat, Lil` Bub), or because of their peculiar feline antics.

I`ll be the first to admit that the skateboarding kitten, otherwise known as George, is cute as a button, but he`s a poseur and a fraud and underserving of Internet stardom.

There have been many dogs who have achieved viral fame because of their mad skateboarding skills, (Otto and Jumpy), these talented pooches actually skateboard by using their paws to propel the skateboard forward.

But George has simply been placed on top of a skateboard by his owner, he knows as much about skateboarding as he knows about quantum mechanics.

Shame on Erica, the owner of George, she`s one of the great con artists of the digital era.

I have too much integrity to plop one of my cats in front of my computer and claim that he`s the one who`s blogging under the name of Robert Paul Reyes.

George is a fraud, but like I said, he`s a cutie, here’s a link to his pics:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/skateboarding-kitten-coolest-cat-block-131000894.html

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‘Why is it Lie After Lie?’ Shepard Smith Goes Off on Trump Administration

“In a surprisingly frank outburst, Fox News anchor Shep Smith tore into the Trump administration on Friday for its lack of transparency on the unfolding Russia scandal.
`Why is it lie after lie after lie? Smith said to fellow anchor Chris Wallace. `The deception, Chris, is mind-boggling.`”
AOL
The Fox News Network begins its programming in the morning with “Fox and Friends” which can only be described as a chatfest whose main objective is to puff up Donald Trump. At night Sean Hannity wraps things up by serving as Trump`s prosecutor, he rips apart any politician, pundit or newsmaker who dares say anything critical about the president.

Between these two programs, that are rock solid behind Trump, there is a steady stream of less shrill pro-Trump propaganda.

But not everybody at Fox is drinking from the water cooler that dispenses Kool-Aid,there are a couple of journalists with integrity at the Fair and Balanced network, Shep Smith and Chris Wallace.

Smith hit the nail on the head, it`s lie after lie after lie emanating from the White House. Lies of commission and lies of omission. Lies that are calculated to fit in with a false narrative, and lies that are calculated to muddy the waters. Little white lies and huge whoppers.

After Smith in frustration posed the question “Why is is lie after lie?,” Wallace could only respond, “I don`t know.”

Wallace opined: If you`re a fair-minded citizen, you ought to be concerned about the fact that we were repeatedly misled about what this meeting concerned.

Trump`s supporters aren`t fair-minded citizens, they`re zombies who are enthralled and mesmerized by the histrionics and rantings of their Messiah.

I share Smith`s frustration, I`m sick and tired of the lies, obfuscation and coverups of the Trump administration, and I plead with my fellow Americans to join my crusade to do everything possible to impeach Donald Trump.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5LftyJmNtA

Beyoncé Has No Shame, Exploits Twins for Publicity!

If you look up the phrase “publicity whore” in the dictionary you will see a glossy Photoshopped image of Beyoncé.

Beyoncé traffics in racial politics and infuses her music and videos with Illuminati imagery and dresses like a slut to keep her name in the news and move product.

Beyoncé, who is blessed with good looks, married the butt-ugly Jay-Z simply because it gave her street cred and broadened her audience appeal. If Beyoncé had fallen in love with a Country star, there`s no way in hell that she would have married him –that would have been a career-ending move.

Beyoncé posted a photograph on Instagram that depicts her as the Virgin Mary, albeit a slightly skanky version of the Mother of Christ. She`s holding her newborn twins in her arms, but make no mistake about it, she`s the center of attraction.

I realize that those of us who aren`t mesmerized by Beyoncé`s artifice and chutzpah are dismissed as racists and haters, but somebody has to point out that the Empress isn`t wearing any clothes.

Pic of Beyoncé: https://www.bustle.com/p/beyonces-baby-photoshoots-arent-the-problem-you-are-70309

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President Trump Tells Brigitte Macron: You’re in Such Great Shape

“As President Trump and first lady Melania Trump met with their French counterparts, Trump told French first lady Brigitte Macron she was in `such great shape.`


 According to AFP, as President Trump, 71, and Emmanuel Macron, 39, were saying goodbye to their wives, Trump looked Brigitte Macron, 64, up and down. He then said, `You know, you`re in such great shape…beautiful.`”


USA TODAY

President Donald Trump is like that one friend that you don`t like inviting to your party, because he`ll ask the minister “How`s it hanging?,” tell the nun “I`ve been popping cherries since I was 16, just saying,” and who will compliment your obese friend “You look terrific for a lady who`s nine months pregnant.

Whenever Trump has a social interaction with a female you can always count on him to say the wrong thing, in the worst possible way. God forbid if she`s wearing a BAND-AID, he`s likely to scream: Bitc* get the hell away from me, I don`t want you bleeding all over me.

When Trump was introduced to the French president`s wife, he couldn`t help himself from uttering something inappropriate. He might as well told her: You better not gain any weight, or else your husband might trade you in for a younger model. Dear God I wish we could trade in our septuagenarian buffoon for a younger and more intelligent politician.


Read More:


https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/07/13/donald-trump-tells-brigitte-macron-youre-in-such-great-shape/476192001/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Evangelical False Prophets Lay Hands on Donald Trump in Oval Office

“President Donald Trump, who has remained out of public view since returning from Europe late Saturday, welcomed evangelical leaders into the Oval Office on Monday for a prayer session.


Photos posted by some of the invitees show the group surrounding Trump and laying their hands on his shoulders as his head is bent in prayer.


The picture was posted by Johnnie Moore, a former senior vice president at Liberty University, a large evangelical university in Virginia. It also showed Vice President Mike Pence, with his eyes shut, participating in the Oval Office prayer session.


Moore, reached on Wednesday, said the meeting happened after a number of national faith leaders were invited to meet the President as they met with representatives from the Office of Public Liaison.”


CNN

President Donald Trump`s approval rating is stuck near 40 percent and he can`t afford to lose the support of his base, therefore he feels compelled to show respect to evangelical leaders, his most ardent backers.

You`d think evangelicals would only visit the Oval Office to lay hands on the most obscene and vulgar president in our history in an attempt to drive the demons out of the orange bastard. But evangelicals are smitten with the profane clown because he`s appointed a conservative Supreme Court Justice, and he`s attempting to repeal and replace Obamacare. American evangelicals are political animals, and they care more about advancing Republican orthodoxy than they care about preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

It was a regular three-ring circus in the Oval Office, and Vice President Mike Pence was in the mix, praying with his eyes shut. You don`t have to be a prophet to discern what Pence was praying: Dear Jesus please let Trump be impeached, or smite his tiny pecker with a deadly STD.

Witnessing these evangelical false prophets laying their hands on Trump as a way of expressing support of the evil buffoon makes me want to puke. I would love to lay hands on Trump, but I`d better not explain exactly what I mean by that, or I might get a friendly visit by the Secret Service.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/12/politics/trump-prayer-photo/index.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Teen Electrocuted Using Phone While Taking a Bath

“A Texas teen died on Sunday morning after being electrocuted in a bathtub by her cellphone.

Madison Coe`s relatives told KCBD that the 14-year-old girl was either plugging in her phone while in the bathtub or grabbed the phone as it was charging before it fell into the bathtub of her father`s New Mexico home.
AOL

A cellphone is a teen`s constant companion, they text while they`re eating, driving and sometimes even while they`re making love. The bond between a teen and his phone is stronger than any human relationship, woe to anyone who comes between a young person and his phone.

I`m not a teen or a millennial, I`m a regular human being, and although I am rarely without my phone, I draw the line somewhere: I don`t use my phone in the bath.

My condolences to the family and friends of this hapless young woman, but her death is a teaching moment. It`s dangerous to text and drive, it`s even dangerous to text and walk, you could walk right into a telephone pole. Charging your phone next to a bath full of water is a brain dead idea.

Moral of this story: Don`t be a wanker, put your phone down and discover life. It`s too late for Madison, but hopefully you will discover that there`s 101 better things to do than texting.

Read More: https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/07/11/texas-teen-dies-from-using-cellphone-while-taking-a-bath/23025320/

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Public Restrooms In China Ration Toilet Paper! Commie Hellhole!

“Officials in a Chinese city are saving money on toilet paper in public restrooms by employing facial recognition technology in the stalls.

The machine uses facial recognition software to identify the user and vends exactly 27.5 inches of toilet paper, the maximum allowed by the machine.


Officials said a user must wait 9 minutes before the machine will allow them to get another length of paper. They said the system has cut the amount of toilet paper used in restrooms by half.”


UPI


 China is a hellhole where you will find cats and dogs on the dinner plate, lead in every product, MSG in every entrée, and suffocating fog in every major city.

To make matters worse a Chinese city has installed facial recognition technology in public restrooms that identifies the user and vends exactly 27.5 inches of toilet paper. If you need more toilet paper you have to wait nine minutes before the machine will dispense more.


There is no way in hell that 27.5 inches will do the trick for me, and there`s no way in hell that I would wait nine minutes for more toilet paper. In a New York minute I would bust that newfangled machine wide open, and wipe my butt to my heart`s content.

I could care less if the facial recognition software captured my act of vandalism, let those commie bastards know that Americans aren`t going to put up with that kind of bullshi*!


In America we wipe our rear ends until they are sparkling clean, even if it means we use the entire roll of paper.

Read More:


 http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07/11/Public-restrooms-using-facial-recognition-to-ration-toilet-paper/2261499798025/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Jr. Retweets Video of His Moron Dad as a Top Gun Pilot

“Donald Trump Jr. apparently shares his father`s affinity for violent CNN-related fan fiction.

 

A fierce defender of his father`s administration, Junior posted edited `Top Gun` footage depicting The Donald sitting in the cockpit of an aircraft shooting down a fighter jet bearing the CNN logo.

In the video, Trump mutters his catchphrase, `You`re fired,` before releasing a missile that makes the CNN logo dramatically explode. Trump Jr. shared the footage on both his Instagram and Twitter, labeling it `the best I`ve ever seen.`”

Vice

Donald Trump and his entire family has a deep aversion to CNN and any other news outlet that reports the news objectively. The only major news network that meets Trump`s expectations (fawning coverage) is the Fox News Network, and he watches the “fair and balanced” cable station religiously.

CNN made the cardinal sin of reporting the truth about the Trump`s penchant for lying and obfuscation, and he doesn`t miss an opportunity to belittle the well-respected news organization.

Last week Trump retweeted a video of himself pummeling a man whose face was superimposed by the CNN logo, apparently Junior wasn`t pleased with the ferocity of the backlash, so he tweeted an even more offensive video.

The video that Trump Jr. shared is ridiculous, I can imagine Donald Trump piloting a yacht, a hot air balloon and even a blimp, but Trump as a Top Gun pilot? Are you freaking kidding me?

If a military jet pilot of any country saw the orange-faced freak flying a military plane, he would blast it out of the sky, thinking it was an extraterrestrial freak from Uranus.

https://news.vice.com/story/don-trump-jr-tweeted-video-of-president-trump-as-top-gun-pilot

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Man Proposes to Girlfriend While Being Arrested: Video

“It was a surprise unlike any other this Fourth of July for some Muskogee police officers and one lucky lady.
Police body camera video captured Brandon Thompson being arrested for six felony warrants on his birthday.

 `When the other officer told me he was gonna propose I think my initial response was, are you kidding me?` said Lincoln Anderson, Muskogee Police Department spokesman.
`Oh my gosh is he serious? But I knew I was gonna say yes. Like I love him a lot. We go through our ups and downs. I guess it`s like an unconditional love, you know?` said Leandria Keith, bride-to-be.”
NewsOn6.Com
I`m 60-years-old and I`ve never been arrested, but I freely admit that I`ve broken the law more than a few times. But a character with six outstanding felony warrants is a habitual criminal, and the only way to prevent him from committing crimes is by keeping him incarcerated.
In this video when Thompson is being arrested somebody in the background is washing the family car, being arrested by the police is evidently nothing to get unduly exercised over.

The reporter for NewsOn6.Com refers the bride-to-be as “one lucky lady,” this lucky lady can look forward to a lifetime of bailing her hubby out of jail.

Leandria is most likely used to seeing her man jailed, she probably already had a care package (Top Ramen and a giant jar of Vaseline) prepared for him.

What a heartwarming ghetto fairy tale …

Read More:

http://www.newson6.com/story/35819347/muskogee-man-proposes-to-girlfriend-during-arrest

Libraries are Seedier Than Flophouses and More Dangerous Than Prisons

“The Denver Police Department has begun patrolling the Central Library, amid a spike in drug use and illegal activity that has been the focus of heightened scrutiny in recent months.

Library officials are crediting the increased police presence and other safety measures with a significant decrease in illegal activity this summer. The downtown library has also added cameras, increased waste clean-up around the building and stocked overdose kits on site to treat patrons.”

Denver Post

I grew up in a small two bedroom house with three sisters and a brother, the only places where I could find peace and quiet were the church and the library. I didn`t have a religious bent, therefore the library became my refuge.

My family was too poor to afford an encyclopedia, in the pre-Internet age the only place where I could expand my mind was the library. The library`s customers were my kind of folks, geeky scholarly types.

Today`s library attracts an entirely different kind of people: Homeless clad in feces-encrusted and urine-soaked pants, jobless perverts browsing porn sites for free, and millennial trash taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi.

Who would have thunk (certainly not Baby Boomers) that libraries would become seedier than flophouses and more dangerous than prisons. A library with surveillance cameras and armed security is an abomination.

Because of political correctness libraries have opened their doors wide to perverts, homeless and drug users. Thank God for the Internet, a respectable nerd like me has no need to visit these hellholes.

Read More:

http://www.denverpost.com/2017/07/07/denver-police-downtown-library-drug-use-illegal-activity/

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Cat Manicures? Give Me a Break!

“There are times we take matching fashion trends a tad bit too far, and this is probably one such instance. After Mother-daughter matching dresses, not to forget the age-old tradition of siblings – especially twins – being dressed alike, we now have fashion conscious pet owners getting their cat`s paws manicured and painted to match their own!

No kidding!

Though there is very basic problem with this trend, which is that nail polish should not be used on the claws of your pets because of the polish`s toxicity. However, there is a way out and doting pet owners have embraced with with perfectly manicured hands – nail caps. People have found out these nail caps to attach to their cat`s claws and then get matching nailpaint.”

Indian Express

I love cats, and I don`t spare any expense lavishing my kitties with toys and treats, and I can understand a cat lover obsessing over his or her beloved pets.

But I draw the line at a cat lady painting her feline`s claws to match her nails. A cat with manicured claws doesn`t look cute or attractive, it looks repulsive and freakish.

I would never let a woman style my hair to match hers, and I would never let her paint my cat`s claws to match her nails. I would kick that psycho bitc* to the curb, and never let her come anywhere near my babies again.

This is a deplorable trend that makes both cat lovers and cats look ridiculous.

Read More:

http://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/fashion/matching-cat-manicures-4742758/

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Pringles Announces limited Top Ramen-flavored Chips! Marriage Made in Hell!

“Canned potato chip brand Pringles has teamed up with Japan`s Nissin Top Ramen for an exclusive ramen-flavored chip.

The collaborative Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Flavor Pringles will be available exclusively at Dollar General stores for a limited time beginning at the end of July.

`Pringles flavorologists worked closely with Nissin to pop the top on a classic noodle dish and bring the fan-favorite Top Ramen Chicken Flavor to life on a Pringles crisp,` Pringles said in a press release. `The result – a crisp that tastes like Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Flavor right out of the bowl.`

The unusual chips will also retail at a special price of $1.50 per package, in reference to ramen`s reputation as a thrifty meal.”

UPI

Top Ramen is a prison staple and an integral pat of the diet of starving college students.

Top Ramen is the most popular item in the prison canteen, convicts know a thousand and one ways to prepare the instant noodles. Ladies, if your new boyfriend salivates over the Top Ramen in your pantry, he`s an ex-con, and next thing he will be looking at your brother with lust in his eyes.

When college kids blow their discretionary income on weed and pizza, they will hit their stash of Top Ramen. Every college dorm room has a bong, condoms, a laptop and a stash of Top Ramen.

I`ve never been incarcerated and Top Ramen wasn`t popular when I was in college, but there`s been a few times in my life when I`ve been down and out, and I`ve resorted to eating Top Ramen.

Pringles don`t have the texture or flavor of potato chips, they taste like Styrofoam and you have to slather them with hot sauce or ketchup they make them edible. Top Ramen-flavored Pringles is a snack that only Satan himself would enjoy, even inmates and college students wouldn`t defile themselves by eating this abomination.


Read More: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07/07/Pringles-announces-limited-Top-Ramen-flavored-chips/8611499451263/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

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Poland’s First Lady Refuses to Shake Hands With Donald Trump

“Donald Trump has only been in office for six months, but he already has a streak of awkward handshakes-or in this case, snubs-with world leaders. As the president and First Lady were greeting the Polish President Andrzej Duda and his wife, Agata Kornhauser-Duda, in Poland on Thursday, Kornhauser-Duda appeared to pass over the president and instead shook Melania Trump`s hand.

The video, which quickly went viral, shows the president turning toward Kornhauser-Duda for a handshake as she swiftly walks by him. Trump looks bewildered at this apparent rejection. (She did, later, shake the president`s hand after all.)”

Vanity Fair

Whenever Donald Trump meets a foreign dignitary you can count on two things: He will babble incoherently and he will botch the handshake. Is it any wonder that foreign leaders will do anything to avoid shaking hands with the idiot?

The Polish president`s wife was looking straight ahead at Melania when Trump offered to shake her hand, it wouldn`t be surprising if she failed to see his deformed little hand in her peripheral vision, but I think the slight was intentional.

Why would any civilized person want to shake Trump`s hands, God only knows what part of Putin`s body his diminutive hands were intimately caressing.

I might fist bump with Trump, but I would never shake hands with him. In fact, I`d rather punch his ugly orange face, even if it means that the Secret Service would riddle me with bullets, rather than shake hands with him.

Link to video: http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/07/first-lady-of-poland-avoided-donald-trump-handshake

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Donald Trump Says Mexico Will ‘Absolutely’ Pay for Wall

“President Donald Trump is still insisting that he wants Mexico to pay for the wall he wants to erect on the U.S.-Mexico border.
Sitting next to Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto at the G-20 summit in Germany, Trump told reporters Friday that he “absolutely” wants Mexico to fund the barrier. The pair made comments ahead of a bilateral meeting that included Trump`s top economic advisors.

Trump`s statement about the wall came in response to shouted questions from reporters after the leaders made statements, so it is unclear if Pena Nieto responded specifically to Trump`s wall comment.”
CNBC
During the election whenever Donald Trump wanted to elicit an enthusiastic response from a crowd he would promise to erect a wall between Mexico and the United States, and he would insist that Mexico would pay for it.
Since his election, every once in a while, Trump still makes perfunctory remarks about building the wall, but he has bigger fish to fry, namely trying to get his execrable health plan passed and dealing with all the Russia-related scandals.

Even his base knows that there`s a snowball`s chance in hell that the wall will be built, and and even slimmer chance that it will be financed by Mexico.

Mexico will erect a three inch phallic monument in honor of Trump before they pay for the damn wall. Trump is expending zero energy trying to get the wall built, but he doesn`t like admitting mistakes, and so he still pretends he`s serious about building it.

 Trump should give up his pipe dream of building the wall, and focus on renegotiating NAFTA with the Mexican president.

trump Read More: http://www.cnbc.com/2017/07/07/trump-absolutely-still-wants-mexico-to-pay-for-border-wall.html

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Even the Rasmussen Poll Shows Donald Trump’s Approval Rating in the Toilet

“The poll President Donald Trump has publicly touted isn`t bringing him much good news lately. The latest survey released by Rasmussen Reports Thursday found Trump`s approval rating his nearing his all-time low.
Just 44 percent of respondents approved of Trump`s job performance in the survey, while 56 percent disapproved. That`s just one percentage point better than the president`s lowest approval ever in the Rasmussen Reports tracking poll: He hit 43 percent approval on multiple occasions. But Trump had risen to 46 percent at the end of June, and he also tweeted out the results of the poll earlier in the month-when he rose to 50 percent approval.”
Newsweek
Rasmussen Reports is the Fox News of polls, when every poll finds Trump beneath water, Rasmussen can be counted on to be the outlier that finds him treading water. It begs the question does Rasmussen interview only schmucks who`ve purchased “Make America Great” hats?

When even the Rasmussen poll finds Trump`s approval rating nearing his all-time low is should be perceived as a clarion call by the president that his administration is in deep trouble.

Trump frequently cites Rasmussen to prove that he still enjoys a modicum of support, will he now declare that it`s a fake poll, like every other poll?

If Trump has his druthers he would officially make Fox News the state news network, and he would create a state poll that`s weighted in his favor.

Sorry Trump but this isn`t Russia or North Korea, and our independent and fair news outlets like MSNBC, CNN, ABC News and CBS News are going to report the truth that your administration is an abject failure, and the polls are going to report the truth that your ratings are in the toilet.

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Donald Trump: Dude Where’s My Limo?

“The scenes aired Monday on Fox News as President Trump landed at Joint Base Andrews airfield. He is seen stepping off the plane and waving to a gathered crowd. However, when he reaches the bottom of the steps, he seems to miss his ride-parked directly in front of the jet-and walks off in a different direction. Maybe, like his alternative facts, he just prefers alternative routes? Trump is then redirected to his awaiting car by an aide.”

Newsweek

The presidential limo is known as “Cadillac One” and “The Beast,” the sedan is longer than two large SUVs and weighs eight tons. Even Stevie Wonder wouldn`t miss the monstrosity if it pulled up in front of him.

But when President Donald Trump landed at Joint Base Andrews airfield, and stepped off the plane, he walked right by the limo that was parked directly in front of the jet. Trump was redirected to his limo by an aide.

This embarrassing incident has sparked rumors that Trump is suffering from dementia, here are a few solutions to prevent this from happening again:

The president likes to brand his properties with his name, why not install a neon “Trump” sign on top of the presidential limo?

New chauffeur: Kellyanne Conway butt naked, wearing only a “Make America Great Again” hat. The prez will never walk past his ride again.

Paint footprints on the ground leading from the plane to the limo.

Assign one of his Secret Service Agents (blond, female, hot) to hold his hand and lead him directly to the limo.

Have the limo driver honk the horn to get the attention of the clueless bastard.

Dear Lord, Trump has been in office for less than six months and he`s already embarrassed our country countless times.

Link to video http://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-limousine-631880

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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Great News! Robots Will be Flipping Burgers at CaliBurger Restaurants by 2018!

“A burger-flipping robot called Flippy will be at work in CaliBurger restaurants by early 2018.
Enter Miso Robotics. The southern California start-up has built a robotic kitchen assistant called Flippy to do the hot, greasy and repetitive work of a fry cook.

Flippy employs machine learning and computer vision to identify patties on a grill, track them as they cook, flip and then place them on a bun when they`re done.

Miso is part of a budding kitchen automation industry. Its peers include Zume Pizza, Cafe X, Makr Shakr, Frobot and Sally, which are developing robots to help commercial kitchens churn out pizzas, lattes, cocktails, frozen yogurt, and salads.”

CNBC

I`m down with the robot revolution, and the mechanical workers can begin by taking over menial jobs like flipping burgers. As a germaphobe I`d rather have a robot with stainless steel hands handling my burger than a pimply wanker.

A robot called Clerkie could handle the cash register, it wouldn`t take a computer expert to program it to say “Do you want fries with that?”

In fact, a fast food restaurant workforce composed entirely of robots would attract customers who appreciate efficient and courteous service. Burger joint bathrooms are usually a freaking mess, none of the low-paid employees wants to clean it. A robot wouldn`t have any reservations about cleaning toilets and mopping floors.

A robot isn`t going to contaminate your food, steal your identification or exhibit rude behavior, and it works for free! Humans suck, I will patronize any business that employs robots.

Read More: http://www.cnbc.com/2017/07/04/miso-robotics-is-bringing-artificial-intelligence-to-restaurants.html

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