Rep. John Lewis Declares Donald Trump Isn’t a Legitimate President

“For the first time, a leading Democrat has called into question Donald Trump`s legitimacy as president.

Rep. John Lewis, a Democratic congressman from Georgia and civil-rights icon, told NBC`s Chuck Todd in an interview for Sunday`s `Meet the Press` that he believes Russia`s alleged hacking aimed at helping Trump in the 2016 race makes Trump an illegitimate president.

Asked whether he would forge a relationship with President-elect Trump, Lewis said: It`s going to be very difficult. I don`t see this president-elect as a legitimate president.”

The Washington Post

The Democrats and Republican Never Trumpers have done everything possible to prevent Donald Trump from assuming office: Recounts fizzled, inciting an Electoral College revolt failed. Their only remaining hope is to convince Obama to declare martial law before Trump is inaugurated, but that ain`t going to happen.

Failing miserably to overturn the results of a free and fair election, they are now resigned to delegitimizing Trump.

I respect and admire Rep. John Lewis, he is a successful congressman, a civil rights hero, and a living legend, but he is tarnishing his legacy with is ridiculous assertion that Trump is an illegitimate president.

It`s impossible to prove that Russia`s alleged hacking tipped the election in favor of Trump, Hillary has only herself to blame for her humiliating defeat. The Russians didn`t coerce Hillary to set up a server in her basement, they didn`t convince her to ignore the crucial battleground states of Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, and they didn`t drug her to induce her to feint on her feet at the 9/11 event.

Trump is supremely unqualified to serve as commander-in-chief, but voters preferred a know-nothing blowhard over a conniving and corrupt witch. Trump is a clown, vulgarian, serial pussy grabber, egomaniac, and the LEGITIMATE President of the United States.

Lewis needs to move on, accept the legitimacy of the Trump administration and focus on turning the Democratic Party into an effective opposition.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/01/13/john-lewis-doesnt-think-donald-trump-is-a-legitimate-president/?utm_term=.33f79a57a402

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Why Your Cat Doesn’t Like to be Picked Up

 

I adore my cat Tico and I express my love by petting and kissing him, and lavishing him with treats and toys. One thing I never do is pick him up and cuddle him; I would strain my back if i picked up my 25-pound tubby. But there are other reasons why I never pick up my giant ball of fur.

Cats are predators and they tend to perch on top of the kitchen counter, refrigerator or a dresser so they can survey their territory. But a cat is a proud creature and he doesn`t feel like a regal lion when he attains a high vantage point because his clueless owner picks him up, restrains him and calls him a cute pussy.

Any feline worth his salt will squirm, scratch, and make noises that don`t resemble purring when his owner picks him up. Don`t disrespect your cat by carrying him, allow him to jump on your lap if he so desires.

A cat isn`t a stuffed animal, he`s a little person, and if you respect his independent spirit he will reward you with a lifetime of companionship and affection.

Notice the way cats interact with each other, they approach each other gingerly: Licking, rubbing and sniffing each other. I`m not suggesting that you lick, rub or sniff you kitty, I`m merely pointing out that being picked up is an affront to a feline`s tender sensibilities.

This essay is for persons who have recently adopted a cat, longtime cat owners know very well that their pets don`t like to be picked up.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Obama’s Most Popular Tweet

Thank you for everything. My last ask is the same as my first. I`m asking you to believe-not in my ability to create change, but in yours.

Presidential tweet from Obama

Twitter is the perfect social media platform for Donald Trump, its 140 character limit per tweet is well-suited for his crude but pithy comments.

Only an anal-retentive prick gets his panties in a twist over any mistakes in spelling, grammar or syntax in a tweet, a perfect medium for a grammar-challenged vulgarian.

Trump has brilliantly used Twitter to bypass the left-leaning mainstream media and convey his thoughts directly to his followers. Trump doesn`t have the intellectual resources to write a memoir of his presidency, but I expect he will publish a collection of his White House tweets.

Obama is no slouch at using social media to further his political objectives. Obama`s tweet echoing a line from his farewell address is the most retweeted tweet for the @POTUS Twitter account, which will soon be inherited by Trump.

My last ask? Really? Trump`s tweets may be vulgar and grammatically confusing, but he would never try to wax poetic by writing “my last ask.”

The American people believe in change, and they have voted for change by denying Obama a third term in kicking Hillary to the curb.

My last ask is for Obama to reconsider his plan to stay in Washington until his daughter graduates from high school, and return to the land of his birth.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Sen. Bernie Sanders Praises Donald Trump

“Sen. Bernie Sanders once called Donald Trump a `pathological liar,` but at a forum at George Washington University in Washington, DC, the self-described socialist praised the president-elect`s extraordinary accomplishment in winning the White House.

`Trump took on the Republican establishment, he took on the Democratic establishment, took on the media establishment and he ended up winning the election to become president of the United States. And that is an extraordinary accomplishment. And it talks about perseverance, it talks about very strong political instincts, it talks about a way to connect with people,` Sanders said.

`So I give Donald Trump his due,` he said.”

The New York Post

I echo Sen. Sanders` sentiments, Trump deserves our grudging admiration for taking on the Democratic establishment and the Republican establishment, and destroying the Clinton and Bush dynasties in the process.

In prevailing over the establishment of both major parties, and exposing the mainstream media as stooges of the Democratic party, Trump advanced the cause of liberty, freedom and democracy.

Trump`s populist appeal transcended party labels, and we can only hope and pray that he won`t forget the dreams and aspirations of ordinary working people now that he`s President of the United States. We must hold Trump`s tiny hands to the fire to ensure that he fulfills the promises he made to the working class.

Trump is an ignorant clown, and if he doesn`t blow up the world, I will at least give him credit for blowing up the establishment — for that I will be eternally grateful.

Even though Trump and Sanders are on opposite ends of the political spectrum they have a lot in common, they are both populist leaders who fought the establishment. I supported Sanders in the Democratic primaries, and he would have won the Democratic nomination if he fought the Democratic establishment with as much vigor as Trump fought the Republican establishment.

When it became crystal clear that the DNC was 100% behind Hillary Clinton, Sanders failed to denounce the corrupt organization in no uncertain terms. It also boggles the mind why Sanders gave Hillary a pass on her email scandal.

Trump is president in large part because Sanders failed to live up to his reputation as a revolutionary. Some revolutionary, in the end he enthusiastically supported the corrupt Hillary.

I`m not surprised to see Sanders give props to a fellow revolutionary for winning the election by blowing up the system.

Read More:

http://nypost.com/2017/01/10/bernie-sanders-heaps-praise-on-donald-trump/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Is Hillary Clinton Going to Run for Mayor of New York City?

Last week, reports (in reality more like rumors) began circulating in the media that Hillary Clinton was considering a run for mayor of New York City.

I tend to dismiss these rumors, the office of mayor of the Big Apple wouldn`t be a consolation prize commensurate with Hillary`s huge ego. After coming so close to breaking the ultimate glass ceiling, running a municipality would be quite a letdown.

Septuagenarians like Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Joe Biden don`t have the energy, vigor, and youthful ideas that the Democratic party is in desperate need off, they should focus their energies on their grandchildren, and achieving regular bowel movements.

After two grueling presidential campaigns that ended in abject frustration and humiliation, first in losing to a relatively unknown community organizer with a Muslim name, and then a know-nothing reality TV clown, Hillary wouldn`t risk losing to Bill de Blasio as he seeks reelection.

The days of running for political office are mercifully over for Hillary, the only running she`s doing these days is running to the bathroom before she soils her adult diapers.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Captures Hillary Clinton’s Despair

This photograph which was tweeted by New York Times senior editor for politics Carolyn Ryan is worth a thousand words.

The photo captures Hillary dining alone at an upscale upstate New York restaurant.

Hillary`s face is out of focus, but her loneliness and alienation is perfectly captured by the photographer. Her secret service detail must be keeping watch from another table — even her longtime aide/lover Huma Abedin isn`t hovering over her shoulder or sitting by her side brushing her pantsuit with a lint roller.

Perhaps Abedin has latched onto another female politician, one with a future, say Senator Elizabeth Warren.

The image depicts Hillary gazing into her cell phone, considering her emails derailed her presidential ambitions, you`d think she`d forsake modern technology.

When the New York Times publishes Hillary`s obituary they should include this photograph, it perfectly captures the forlorn and defeated presidential candidate.

In the end we all die alone; this photograph captures Hillary`s political death, without aides, bodyguards, husband or lesbian lover by her side.

Link to photograph:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/12/28/lets-all-over-analyze-this-photo-of-hillary-clinton-alone-looking-forlorn/?utm_term=.66595888a0af

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

New Restaurant Opens in Iraq: Trump Fish

“A Donald Trump-themed restaurant-one that`s not owned by the president-elect himself-just opened in the heart of Iraqi Kurdistan. Called Trump Fish, its specialty is carp, which comes grilled or fried.

Local businessman Nadyar Zawiti picked the name after hearing Trump`s promises to arm Kurdish forces to help defeat ISIS, he told CNN.”

Slate

The Trump-themed restaurant is a homage, not a mockery, Kurds love the blowhard billionaire almost as much as the Russians, because of his promises to arm Kurdish forces.

I have better choices for the specialty of the house:

Orange Roughy

This would be perfect, an orange fish that belongs to the slimeball family. What is Trump if not an orange slimeball?

Puffer Fish

This toxic fish defends itself by filling its elastic stomach with water (or air when outside water) until it`s much larger and imposing. Another perfect choice — Trump is toxic and full of hot air.

Jellyfish

A marine creature that doesn`t have a brain or a sexual organ? Perfect description of micro-penis Trump.

Seafood doesn`t have a long shelf life, customers of Trump fish would be well-advised not to bring any doggie bags home. Trump doesn`t have a long shelf life either, he`s not president yet, and I`m already sick and tired of his buffoonery.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Clown Donald Trump Attacks Clown Chuck Schumer

“President-elect Donald Trump dismissed his rivals as clowns – but he still hasn`t figured out proper grammar.

In yet another series of typo-filled tweets Thursday, Trump blasted the Affordable Care Act and the Democrats` promise to salvage the healthcare plan, which the Republican businessman has vowed to repeal. He also bullied soon-to-be Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer with name-calling taunts.

`The Democrats, lead by head clown Chuck Schumer, know how bad ObamaCare is and what a mess they are in,` he tweeted early Thursday, likely meaning to write `led` instead of `lead.`”

New York Daily News

This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. (For my politically-correct readers, let me stress that I don`t mean to imply that there`s anything wrong with being black.)

Senator Schumer and President-elect Trump are known more for their vanity about their physical appearance, than they are for their policy positions.

Schumer`s hairline is hair-plugged to perfection, and his countenance is relatively wrinkle-free thanks to Botox, and Donald Trump`s uses two cans of hair spray to keep his comb over in place, and his face is orange thanks to spray-on tan.

Trump and Schumer are addicted to the spotlight, they start experiencing withdrawal symptoms when they are away from the cameras for more than a few minutes.

Only a clown would repeal Obamacare without replacing it, and only a clown would defend Obama`s disastrous health care plan.

Schumer may not be as grammar-challenged as Trump, but a clown is a clown is a clown.

Read More:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/donald-trump-calls-chuck-schumer-clown-typo-filled-tweets-article-1.2935724

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Cruel New Year’s Eve Prank

“A man in Germany has started the new year with quite a shock – after finding himself bricked in to his own home.

The home owner in Mainhausen, Hesse, opened his front door on Monday to find someone had quietly built a brick wall in front of it during the night, police confirmed.”

ITV NEWS

My thoughts:

New Year`s Eve is the perfect time to play a prank like this, the average person would be too drunk to wake up if his house was being demolished.

It must have taken a team of wankers to pull off this prank, the victim must be very disturbed to discover that there`s several individuals who think so little of him.

Would this cruel prank be covered by a homeowner`s policy as an act of vandalism?

The second order of business for this hapless fellow, after dismantling the brick wall, should be to install surveillance cameras.

Dear readers, I hope you`re having a better New Year than this German fellow.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Mariah Carey New Year’s Eve Debacle! Top Ten Conspiracy Theories

Mariah Carey blamed a conspiracy by Dick Clark Productions for her disastrous New Year`s Eve performance, others have blamed Ryan Seacrest.

Who is really to blame? A congressional committee should investigate this matter, but until they arrive at a definitive conclusion, here`s my top ten conspiracy theories:

Ronda Rousey Theory

Ronda Rousey sabotaged Mariah`s earpiece in a desperate attempt to deflect attention away from her crushing loss to Amanda Nunes.

Grassy Knoll Theory

Sarah Palin gave Mariah the evil eye from a grassy knoll in Alaska, the eagle-eyed former beauty queen blames the diva for America`s moral decline.

Hacker Theory

A 400-pound hacker who`s into death metal went ballistic when Mariah started to croon “Emotions” and hacked the ABC feed from his bedroom in his parents` basement.

North Korea Theory

The North Koreans are expert hackers as they have already proved by hacking Sony Studios. Kim Jong-un ordered his military to hack the ABC broadcast, it was either that or target Times Square with a nuclear-tipped missile.

Russia Theory

There is as much evidence pointing to Russian involvement in the Mariah debacle, as there is evidence proving that they hacked the DNC. So why the hell not blame Putin?

Donald Trump Theory

Trump is responsible for this dastardly deed, he will never forgive Mariah for laughing at him when he failed to grab her pussy with his little hand.

Mariah Carey Theory

Mariah`s earpiece malfunction was an elaborate plot by the diva to generate publicity for her upcoming reality show.

Joe Biden Theory

An act of petulance by the outgoing vice-president, he was frustrated that he had no major accomplishments after eight years serving as Obama`s sidekick.

Fake News Theory

That wasn`t Mariah, it was a drag queen celebrity impersonator! It was fake news manufactured by the network to spike ratings.

Shit Happens Theory

Shit happens! Period! End of story!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Robert Paul Reyes: My New Year’s Wishes for 2017

Survive the year without Donald Trump`s tiny hand pushing the red button that will usher in a nuclear winter.

Endure the year without accumulating debt, or developing another infirmity.

Grim Reaper will drag Hillary Clinton, Beyoncé or Robin Thicke to hell.

My personal Web site will elicit more tweets, emails and comments.

My cats Tico and Ebony will turn from frenemies to BFF.

My pooch Mandy will dig fewer holes in my backyard and destroy fewer plants and bushes.

EDM finally dies.

Ronda Rousey will disappear off the face of the Earth.

Mr. T beats Colin Kaepernick to a bloody pulp.

President Trump declares Snoop Dogg`s birthday a national holiday.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Robert Paul Reyes: My Death Wish List for 2017

The Grim Reaper was busy in 2016 culling the best and brightest from the realms of entertainment, sports and politics. The death of icons like Muhammad Ali, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher and John Glenn left a deep void in our culture.

The Grim Reaper never takes a holiday, and he will be busy again in 2017 snuffing out the brightest lights, but I hope he will take out these dim bulbs next year:

The Kardashian Sluts

The Kardashian women are indistinguishable from one another. They all have surgically-enhanced body parts, a penchant for dating black rappers and athletes, and a love for the limelight. They have no talent, and are famous for being famous. Let`s hope and pray they achieve immortality be dying together in a plane crash.

Hillary Clinton

Hillary is a decrepit old hag and she should have died years ago, but her pride and stubbornness will fortify her will into her 90`s. I`m keeping my fingers crossed that a killer clown will dispatch her to hell before she mounts yet another presidential campaign.

Nancy Pelosi

Pelosi is older than Methuselah and as wicked as the devil, if she doesn`t die of Botox poisoning in 2017 there is no God.

Oprah Winfrey

If pride comes before a fall, then it`s high time that Oprah falls straight into the fiery pit of hell.

Katie Couric

The only thing that Couric ever had going for her was her perkiness, but age extinguished her perkiness decades ago, she`s past her expiration date.

Mariah Carey

Carey was one of the brightest stars of the 90`s, but nobody has nostalgia for that forgettable decade, and nobody would miss her if the Grim Reaper dragged her to hell.

Lady Gaga

Her final performance act in 2017 should be ritual suicide on stage.

Nicki Minaj

Barbie? Really? Barbie doesn`t have a grotesquely fat butt! Enough said!

Meryl Streep

Enough is enough! I hope the Grim Reaper takes her out before she`s nominated for yet another award.

Feminist

That means any feminist who complains that I included only women on my list.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Federal Court Ruling: Cop Can Shoot a Dog if it Barks or Moves When He Enters a Home

“A police officer can shoot a dog if it barks or moves when the officer enters a home, under a new federal court ruling issued this month.
The ruling comes after police in Battle Creek, Michigan, shot two pit bulls while searching a home for evidence of drugs in 2013.”
WGNTV.Com

My dog Mandy is a German Shepherd/Pit Bull mix, she may be physically imposing but whenever I take her for a walk she`s mobbed by the neighborhood children. Mandy has a sweet disposition and she never barks or yelps when the kids pet her, but she does bark when she`s in my backyard and a stranger walks up to my front porch.

Newsflash: Dogs bark, especially when a stranger invades their territory.

Newsflash: Dogs aren`t going to sit still when a stranger is inside their home.

Dogs can sense when their owners are nervous, and they are very protective, of course they are going to bark and move towards a police officer when he enters their home.

A police officer shouldn`t be a Nervous Nellie, he shouldn`t automatically shoot a dog just because he barks and approaches him.

Mandy is a member of my family, and if a police officer shot her just because she barked, I would be devastated.

The judge who ruled in favor of the police officers in this particular case is a moron, and his ruling shouldn`t be interpreted as a blanket ruling for cops across the country.

Read More:
http://wgntv.com/2016/12/28/federal-court-rules-police-can-shoot-a-dog-if-it-moves-or-barks-when-officers-enter-a-home/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

What Would a Third Obama Term Look Like?

“Arguing that Americans still subscribe to his vision of progressive change, President Barack Obama asserted in an interview recently he could have succeeded in this year`s election if he was eligible to run.

`I am confident in this vision because I`m confident that if I had run again and articulated it, I think I could`ve mobilized a majority of the American people to rally behind it,` Obama told his former senior adviser David Axelrod in an interview for the The Axe Files podcast, produced by the University of Chicago Institute of Politics and CNN.

CNN

In the closing weeks of the 2016 race, President Obama put his prestige and legacy on the line, as he campaigned for Hillary Clinton in critical swing states.

In an unprecedented election season it was unprecedented for on incumbent president to campaign for the candidate he wished to be his successor.

We all know how the story unfolded, with Donald Trump winning, and Hillary Clinton losing in an electoral landslide.

If Obama had been eligible to run for a third term he would have been defeated, it was a change election, an the orange-faced clown would have soundly defeated the biracial Kenyan.

Nevertheless, let`s fantasize what a third Obama administration would look like:

Malia Obama a porn star?

In the last two years of Obama`s 2nd term we witnessed the sad spectacle of Malia playing beer pong, and twerking, smoking pot and exposing her butt at Lollapalooza. Malia is planning on taking off a year before attending Harvard, she would have ample time to explore her slutty tendencies.

Race War?

From the start of his first term Obama demonstrated his his knee-jerk response of always siding with black persons in their interactions with white police officers. Surely we haven`t forgotten the Henry Louis Gates incident? Throughout his two terms in office Obama could always be counted on to side with black lawbreakers, and to blame the police. Obama`s hatred of white people gave birth to the racist BLM movement, and it`s not a stretch to imagine that during a third Obama term race relations would deteriorate to a flat-out race war.

The Destruction of Israel

From his 2009 Cairo speech Obama articulated his pro-Muslim stance, and until his last day in office he never stopped pandering to Islamists. The Iran deal was a disaster for Israel and the free world, and the UN vote against Israel settlements, masterminded by Obama himself, was a betrayal of Israel and a death blow to the peace process. It`s manifest that Obama has an undying hatred of of Israel and the Jewish people, and under a 3rd Obama term there would be a mushroom cloud over Israel.

Nuclear Armageddon

Obama`s reset with the Russian Federation was an unqualified disaster, his sanctions against the patriot Putin, and his meddling in Russia`s backyard would culminate in nuclear war in a third Obama term.

Great Depression

You don`t have to be a rocket scientist or an economics major to discern that the American economy can`t continue to absorb trillions in debt.

Thank God the constitution prohibits a president for running for a 3rd term, even an Oompa Loompa egomaniac can`t do half the damage that Obama would wreak in a 3rd term.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Joe Biden: Hillary Lost Because She Had No Vision

“Democrats are finally beginning to put the blame of the election loss on the one person it belongs: Hillary Clinton. In an interview on Monday, Vice President Joe Biden identified the reason Hillary Clinton`s campaign just couldn`t connect with voters – she had no vision about why she was actually running.”

The Blaze

Some folks are born with a sliver spoon in mouth, Joe Biden was born with his foot in his mouth. Biden`s commentary on the important issues of the day has about as much gravitas as the farts that emanate from his ass.

Biden served a vital role in the Obama administration as the Court Jester, in these trying times we need comic relief.

A broken clock is right twice a day, and even a moron like Biden has insightful comments every once in a blue moon.

Biden placed the blame for Hillary`s humiliating loss squarely on her shoulders, she had no vision and she couldn`t articulate why she was running, other than it was time for a vagina to sit in the Oval Office.

The electorate wasn`t obsessed with breaking the glass ceiling, they cared about vanishing manufacturing jobs, rising taxes and ISIS. Hillary`s message resonated with upper class feminist lesbians, Trump`s “America First” slogan resonated with regular folks.

Biden is an ass, but sometimes the Almighty speaks through an ass, and Democrats would be well-advised to listen to him.

Read More:

http://www.theblaze.com/news/2016/12/26/joe-biden-racism-not-to-blame-for-clinton-loss/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Outrage: Donald Trump Receives Standing Ovation at a Christian Church! Video!

“President-elect Donald Trump and future first lady Melania Trump received a standing ovation Christmas Eve when they arrived unannounced at a church service.

Trump attended a Christmas Eve church service at the Episcopal Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea, a historic church just a short drive from his Mar-a-Lago Estate in South Florida.

They sat in the fourth row, with secret service agents seated in the rows in front of him and behind, according to the Palm Beach Post.”

Daily Caller

The President-elect should be treated cordially whenever he makes a public appearance, whether it`s at a sporting event, political rally or a church service.
But for Trump to be greeted with a raucous cheers and a standing ovation at a Christian church is an abomination and an affront to the Almighty.

Trump`s life is the antithesis of Christianity — he embodies the seven deadly sins: Lust, gluttony, greed, laziness, wrath, envy and pride.

Even the devil himself should be welcomed at a Christian church, but to treat Trump like the Messiah is exceedingly unseemly and sacrilegious.

It`s manifest, even to a non-religious person, that the Episcopal Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea worships worldly success and celebrity, and not Jesus Christ.

My guess is that the only person this church would welcome more warmly is the Antichrist himself.

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2016/12/25/trump-receives-standing-ovation-at-christmas-eve-church-service-video/#ixzz4Tz5AZgfp

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzM9awNaewM

Seal Terrorizes Australian Town on Christmas

“An Australian couple woke up Christmas morning to find a fur seal doing its best impression of a hood ornament on their car, but residents of the town say this is not the first time a seal has tried to move in to the neighborhood.

Animal control officers in Newstead, a suburb of Tasmania, subdued the seal as it ran from driveway to driveway and car to car through the neighborhood, apparently unsure how to get back to the nearby waterway it came from.”

UPI

I wouldn`t be surprised if a dingo wreaked havoc Down Under on a Christmas morning, kidnapping a baby from a living nativity scene, or if kangaroo flash mob attacked shoppers at a mall.

Australians wage a never-ending battle to reclaim their land from the native wildlife, if you visit Australia make sure you are never without a knife worthy of Crocodile Dundee.

But it`s not often that a seal goes wilding in Australia, this seal terrorized Newstead before it was subdued by animal control officers.

Most dangerous job in the world: Animal control officer in Australia.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Deconstructing Donald Trump’s Christmas Tweet

Donald Trump wished his Twitter followers “Merry Christmas” on Sunday morning with a photograph depicting him walking past a Christmas tree, with his tiny fist raised and clenched.

Trump should have tempered his celebratory mood and not raised his diminutive fist in victory, his pathetically small hand defaces the image.

Trump couldn`t even take the time to pose for a professional Christmas family photograph — nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a lazy screencap.

Why feature himself walking past the Christmas tree, it`s as if he wants to leave the Christmas spirit of peace, love and brotherhood behind, and focus on dividing the country.

Where on Earth are his wife Melania, his beautiful daughters, and his sons? Christmas is all about family, a Christmas family photo with just the father is like a nativity scene without Baby Jesus.

This Christmas tweet from Trump infuriates me, I hope Santa shovels coal up his ass, I pray Jesus smites him with lightning turning his orange face black, and I hope and pray Krampus bites off his disgusting tiny hand.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Kilt-wearing Santa From Hell Rides a Unicycle in Portland: Video

“An Oregon man was filmed doing his part to keep Portland weird by dressing up as a Scottish Santa and playing flaming bagpipes while riding a unicycle.

Brian Kidd, aka The Unipiper, posted a video to YouTube showing him ringing in the holiday season in a festively eccentric fashion.”

UPI

A kilt-wearing Santa riding a unicycle and playing flaming bagpipes is wrong on so many levels.

Only in Portland, a city renowned for its weird vibe, could you get away with pulling this stunt, in any other city this man would have been tarred, feathered and kicked to the curb.

Anyone riding a unicycle is an attention-seeking whore, the kilt and the flaming bagpipes are just overkill.

A Santa wearing a kilt is an abomination; I hope and pray Kidd gets run over by reindeer.

Merry Christmas to my readers in Portland and all over the world!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

DECEMBER ARCHIVES PAGE TWO:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/december-archives-page-two-of-robert-paul-reyes-articles/

Putin: Statesman and Patriot! Obama: Feckless Hack

“That was how Putin answered a question Friday at his nationally televised annual news conference about whether Russia interfered in the U.S. presidential election in favor of Donald Trump.

The Democrats are losing on all fronts and looking elsewhere for things to blame, he told the nearly 1,400 journalists packed into a Moscow convention hall for the nearly four-hour event. `In my view, this, how shall I say it, degrades their own dignity. You have to know how to lose with dignity.`

The Kremlin leader – who also sent an upbeat letter to Trump last week that the president-elect revealed Friday – pointed out that Republicans had won the House and Senate, as well.

`Did we do that, too?` he asked with a slight grin.”

The Washington Post

The Russian Federation is a diminished superpower, but its nuclear arsenal demands that we take their pronouncements seriously.

The Russian President, Vladi­mir Putin, is a statesman and a patriot who is loved and admired in his own country, and respected and feared throughout the world.

Better a dictator who always has the best interests of his country at heart, than a democratically-elected president who panders to tyrants and doesn`t believe in American Exceptionalism.

When Putin speaks – people listen, and freedom-loving patriots in America listened with glee when the head of the Russian oligarchy lectured American Democrats on the finer points of democracy. Feckless Obama and mirthless Hillary and the rest of the Democrats need to learn how to lose with dignity and humility.

Enough is enough! No more excuses! Hillary didn`t lose because of Putin, WikiLeaks or the FBI director; she lost because she`s a corrupt witch who is despised by the electorate.

As someone who has a fine-tuned sense of the absurd, I have enjoyed watching Putin toy with the effete and ineffectual Obama, but as a patriot it makes my blood boil that we elected a sniveling African to the White House.

Even a clueless clown like Donald Trump on his worst day will do a better job than Obama on his best day.

If we would only change the constitution to allow Putin to run for President of the United States.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/trump-syria-hacking-and-terrorism-in-play-as-russias-putin-meets-the-press/2016/12/23/28ead25a-c878-11e6-acda-59924caa2450_story.html?utm_term=.d5525e00d38d

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Robert Paul Reyes: My New Year’s Resolutions

Renew my determination to abide by my minimalist credo: Less things, less entanglements.


Pay it forward when I’m the recipient of an unexpected blessing. 

Make a determined effort to love people as much as I love animals. 

Don’t sweat the small stuff, and remember it’s all small stuff. 

Volunteer !

Have a tough skin, and a gentle touch.

Forgive!

Appreciate the simple pleasures like my daily nap with my cat Tico, and my daily walk with my pooch Mandy.

When a song on the radio takes me back to a simpler and happier time in my life, don’t hesitate to lose myself in the moment. 

Write something, anything, every day!

 

Elephant Farts on Friend’s Face: Video

“An elephant at a sanctuary in Thailand took revenge on a pushy comrade by planting her rear-end in the other pachyderm`s face and letting loose a huge fart.

A video posted to YouTube by Elephant News shows Faa Mai, an elephant at the Elephant Nature Park sanctuary in Kuet Chang, climbing on a small hill that was previously claimed by a fellow elephant named Kabu.”
UPI

King of the Hill is a children`s game, the object of which is to stay on top of a large hill or pile (or any other designated area) as the `King of the Hill`. Other players attempt to knock the current King off the pile and take their place, thus becoming the new King of the Hill.

Wikipedia

“King of the Hill” was my favorite childhood game, I would spend my entire recess playing this game with my friends. I was a puny little kid and I rarely made it to the summit, but when I did my friends let me enjoy the view from the top for a few moments before unceremoniously knocking me down.

In the pachyderm world this innocent children`s game takes a sinister turn as demonstrated by Faa Mai the elephant. The flatulent elephant attempted to secure her perch on top of the hill by letting loose a tremendous fart on the face of a pushy comrade.

Faa Mai`s smelly tactic may have worked, but everybody knows elephants have long memories, and proving that revenge is a dish best served cold Faa Mai may one day discover elephant dung on her meal dish.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

 

Cops Break into Car to Rescue Mannequin That Looked Too Real

“The report to police was deadly serious — an elderly woman apparently frozen to death inside a parked car in Hudson, New York.

Police in the city said they responded to the call Friday morning with an emergency rescue crew. It was cold — around five degrees Fahrenheit — and the car had snow cover and looked like it hadn`t been moved in a while.
Authorities saw an elderly woman in the front passenger seat, police said. She was wearing an oxygen mask. She did not move and was unresponsive.

An officer smashed the rear window, opened the door…and discovered the woman was really a life sized mannequin. The kind that is used in CPR training.”

CNN

If a Good Samaritan saw a frozen pooch inside a parked vehicle, he wouldn`t hesitate to smash the window to rescue the poor creature. We are a nation of animal lovers, and we hate to see cats or dogs in distress.

However if you saw an elderly woman who looked like a human popsicle inside a parked car, would you smash the window to rescue her?

A blue-haired old lady isn`t quite as cute and cuddly as a kitten or a puppy, and many people would have moral reservations about interfering with the handiwork of the Grim Reaper.

Kudos to the citizen who called 911, and to the cops who smashed the car window in an attempt to save what they thought was a freezing elderly citizen.

The owner was furious at the police officers for damaging his vehicle, but the rest of us should be happy that in this cold world someone still cares about an old lady freezing to death.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/17/us/frozen-woman-turns-out-to-be-mannequin-trnd/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Top Ten Fake News Stories of 2016

Donald Trump Has No Path to Victory

Trump bulldozed a path to victory over Hillary, the mainstream media, billionaire donors, pundits, academia and and the Republican and Democratic establishment.

Obama Was Born in Hawaii

When one of the original birthers, Donald Trump, conceded in September 2016 that Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii, the media immediately proclaimed that the birther movement was dead.The reports of the death of the birther movement are greatly exaggerated. I will not accept that Obama was born in Hawaii until he submits his original birth certificate to document experts for examination.

War on Christmas

There is no organized war on Christmas: The media and corporations embrace and exploit Christmas, nothing drives up ratings and moves products more than jumping on the Christmas bandwagon. Christmas may be dead in secular Europe, but in Christian-dominated America businesses will do anything to pander to Christmas-loving Americans. War on Christmas? Bullcrap! I have Christmas up the wazoo!

Climate Change is Settled Science

There is a special place in hell reserved for Al Gore, Obama and every other peddler of this damn hoax. It`s poetic justice that Gore will experience global warming in hell throughout eternity.

CNN Is Unbiased

The conventional wisdom is that Fox News is conservative, MSNBC leans left and CNN is middle of the road. While it`s true that Fox panders to conservatives, and MSNBC veers sharply to the left, it`s bull that CNN is unbiased. During the presidential campaign CNN was on a mission from God to destroy, defame and ridicule Trump, while their sympathetic and fawning coverage of Hillary made me want to throw up.

Bruce Jenner is a Beautiful Woman

Until Jenner has sex reassignment surgery he`s a man, in the meantime he looks like a grotesque parody of a woman. It`s bad enough that the media wants to brainwash us into accepting that he`s a woman, but they want us to proclaim that he`s a beautiful woman. Screw political correctness and screw Bruce Jenner! The emperor has no clothes, and everyone can see that he has a dick.

Lena Dunham is a Beautiful Woman

Dunham has made a career out of exposing her naked butt on “Girls” ostensibly to promote body acceptance, the truth is that Lena is repulsive, inside and outside, and she`s nothing but a crude exhibitionist.

Islam is a Religion of Peace

There is no hope for anyone who swallows this lie, and I won`t waste any words trying to convince them otherwise.

The Supporters of Donald Trump are Racist

Every major political candidate attracts a fringe element, there are just as many racists who hate white people who supported Obama as there are racists who hate black people who supported Trump.

Pop Music is Dead

Pop music may be on life support, but as long as Adele is still performing and recording albums pop music is still alive.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

 

Hipster Nativity Scene Depicts Birth of Jesus Christ in 2016

“A pair of brothers crafted a Hipster Nativity set, depicting a modern version of the birth of Jesus in the manger.

The $130 Nativity set brings the biblical Christmas scene into the 21st century as Joseph and Mary take selfies with the newborn Jesus in a stable with a solar-powered roof, the Three Wisemen on segways bearing packages from Amazon and the shepherd looking at his cell phone.”

UPI

The Nativity scene certainly needed to be updated for the 2st century, but why did the brothers include an invention (Segway) that was introduced in 2001 with much fanfare as the replacement for the automobile, but turned out to be a huge sales disappointment?

And why on Earth are there barnyard animals in the updated Nativity set? It`s the 21st century dammit, and cats rule online and in real life. There should be a cat cuddling next to the Baby Jesus.

Speaking of the Baby Jesus, he should be an orange-faced replica of Baby Trump. I`m sorry if I offended anybody`s religious sensibilities, but Trump as Baby Jesus makes as much sense as Trump as Leader of the Free World.

It would have been a nice touch if Baby Jesus had been depicted wearing a “Black Lives Matter” onesie.

All in all a nice job by the brothers, and the hefty price tag is very much 21st century.

Pic of Nativity scene:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2016/12/16/Hipster-Nativity-set-depicts-birth-of-Jesus-in-2016/1371481905903/?spt=sec&or=on

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes