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Franklin Graham: ‘God Saved Trump’

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On the final night of Trump con aka the Republican National Convention, evangelical huckster Franklin Graham prayed for Donald Trump. “God spared his life”, he said alluding to the assassination attempt on his Orange Messiah five days earlier.

The last night of the convention featured the likes of ageing wrestler Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Fighting Championship CEO Dana White, dumb-ass Kid Rock, and the aforementioned Franklin Graham. “Birds of a feather flock together.”

As Graham surveyed the sea of white Republicans with their red MAGA hats, he pandered to the audience by proclaiming that “God spared Trump.”

Trump’s prayer is wrong on so many levels. In the first place, what was a “man of God” doing praying for an amoral psychopath, in a political convention that demonized immigrants, Democrats and trans people?

To say that the Almighty altered the trajectory of a bullet to save the life of a convicted felon, serial adulterer, rapist, pathological liar, fraudster, and raving lunatic is to impugn the character and wisdom of God.

If God saved the steaming pile of human shit known as Trump but allowed a bullet to explode the head of a volunteer firefighter who shielded his family with his own body, then I do not want anything to do with Franklin Graham’s God.

A true man of God, a genuine prophet would have attended the Republican National Convention only to pray that Trump and his supporters would repent from their wickedness.

Biden Must Be Forced to Drop Out

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In a perfect world Joe Biden and Donald Trump would be antagonists in a nursing home where their words and actions would not impact anyone outside the sterile walls of their institution.

Biden yells at Trump: No Joke! You are full of malarky. You aren’t the king of me, and you aren’t the king of this rest home. I rid America of super predators and defeated Corn Pop, King of the projects. I am Dark Brandon, Lord of the Universe!

Trump responds: This rest home should be named after me! I have the best brain in the world, the likes of which the world has never seen. I am the Grand Poobah of all I survey, witness how the peasants rush to change my diapers!

The world is far from perfect, and in the waning days of our democracy two extremely imperfect politicians are running for the most exalted office, president of the United States and Leader of the Free World.

Trump is a delusional and demented psychopath who seethes over every perceived injustice and whose syphilis-infected brain is set on retribution and revenge.

Biden is a delusional and demented octogenarian who seethes over every politician, pundit and reporter who acknowledges the truth that his brain is oatmeal and that he is way past his expiration date.

Biden and Trump have one common deficiency, stubbornness. In his third presidential run Trump is the undisputed leader of the GOP, Congressional Republicans and the Republican National Convention serve only to do his bidding. But when Trump ran for president in 2015, he was the outsider, the reality show celeb, the buffoon billionaire, and everyone thought he was running only to burnish his brand. The Republican establishment, the media (conservative and liberal), the intelligentsia and even most evangelicals were against him. But his stubbornness and egotistical belief in himself prevailed against all odds.

President Joe Biden, 81, has spent his entire adult life in politics. After 50 years in public service, and a couple of failed presidential campaigns, he finally became president in 2020.

General stubbornness is a hallmark of dementia, and Biden is too stubborn to relinquish his power even though he is incapable of uttering a complete sentence or exiting a stage after delivering an incoherent speech.

Biden is stubborn as hell. He won’t listen to the polls. He won’t listen to the chorus of Congressional Democrats who are urging him to drop out. He won’t listen to the pundits and editorial boards of mainstream newspapers who are begging him to quit. He won’t listen to Nancy Pelosi, and he won’t even listen to Barack Obama, who was the messiah of the Democratic Party before Donald Trump was the messiah of the Republican Party. He’s still bitter that Obama pushed him aside for Queen Hillary in 2015. He won’t even listen to Corn Pop if he came back from the dead and he threatened to cut off his sagging balls if he doesn’t quit.

Trump is a delusional psychopath who is morally, physically, and intellectually unfit for office, but no power on Earth can stop him from reclaiming his throne. His MAGA followers share his delusion that he has been divinely anointed to return to power.

 Biden is a delusional octogenarian who is physically and mentally unfit for office, and he will drop out only if the Lord God Almighty comes down to the White House to give him his pink slip. But God hasn’t made any house calls since Old Testament days. Democrats don’t share his delusion, according to polls about 65 percent of Democrats don’t want him to run for reelection.

What can save us from the nightmare of a second Trump administration? I’m not depending on the good Lord to knock some sense into Biden, and I’m not placing my hopes on an assassin with better aim.

Biden must be forced to drop out by any means necessary, it is incumbent upon every Democratic leader who cares about preserving our democracy to publicly urge Biden to quit. If all else fails, there’s always the 25th amendment.

New York Magazine Sparks Outrage for Cover Featuring Biden and Trump in Their Underwear

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New York Magazine’s new cover depicts Donald Trump and Joe Biden, standing on scales in nothing but clean white underwear.

The current “Health” issue, featuring medical news and breakthroughs, and in particular Joe Biden’s physical and mental deterioration.

There is outrage on social media, with many calling the controversial cover disgusting, disturbing, and demeaning.

My take? Bitch, please! Neither of these presidential candidates is worthy of respect and deference. Trump is a pathological liar, sexual predator, convicted felon, and failed insurrectionist and Biden is a decrepit and demented walking corpse who refuses to drop out of the race even if it means that not only will he lose to Trump, but his presence at the top of the ticket will result in Republicans hanging on to the House and gaining control of the Senate.

The cover shows Trump wearing tighty whities and Biden sporting white boxers. This illustration is sanitized beyond imagination, and neither Trump nor Biden supporters should be complaining. The fact is that they both wear diapers smeared with feces, drenched in urine, and soaked in sweat.

When I look at the cover I’m disgusted and disturbed, not because of the graphic nature of the illustration. I’m appalled that the greatest democracy in the world couldn’t come up with better presidential candidates than these two sick douche bags.

Biden’s Dreadful Debate Has Doomed His Reelection Bid

My thoughts on last night’s debate:

Donald Trump did not engage in conventional debate preparation like participating in mock debates. He relied on his innate ability to adlib, and he spoke simply, albeit crazily in a manner that resonated with his deluded supporters.

The stable genius’ lack of debate preparation was manifest in his answers which were bereft of nuance and detail. His replies to the straightforward questions posed by the moderators had almost nothing to do with the topic at hand, instead his used his allotted two minutes per question to ramble incoherently about his favorite topics and conspiracy theories, namely immigration, crime and the “rigged” 2020 election.

But I give the former president credit for dialing down his rhetoric a couple of notches, Debate Trump was not as wacky and inflammatory as Maga Rally Trump. His replies were lacking in substance and insight, but he scored points with his forceful and confident delivery.

Liberal critics complained that the pathological liar’s false claims were not fact-checked in real time by the moderators. But it was an impossible task for the moderators to fact-check him when virtually every utterance that emanated from his sphincter-shaped mouth was a lie.

Trump’s debate performance was uneven and lackluster, but compared to Joe Biden’s dreadful performance, he was Reaganesque. The octogenarian’s performance was an unmitigated disaster. The 81-year-old incumbent had one job, and one job only, prove to a skeptical electorate that he still possessed the mental acuity to serve another term. He failed. Miserably.

From the moment he gingerly and tentatively walked to his podium, he looked defeated, downcast and disoriented. His raspy and barely audible voice, deer-in-the headlight stare, inability to complete a sentence and frequent loss of train of thought were enough to convince even the most diehard supporter that he is mentally unfit to be president.

At one point Biden froze for a few seconds, his apologists can’t explain this disturbing cognitive fail as a cheap fake. Biden is a dead man walking, he isn’t low-energy Joe, he’s rigor mortis Joe.

Presidential debates have a history of candidates having one viral moment that sabotages their performance, witness Gerald Ford’s “Free Poland” gaffe. But it wasn’t one mistake that doomed Biden, the entire evening was dominated by his incoherence, mental instability and inability to respond with a cogent thought.

I am a progressive who thinks that Trump is the worst president in history, who will destroy our democracy if he returns to power. The Democratic Party has a deep bench with many potential candidates like California Governor Gavin Newsome who would have no problem defeating Trump. It is tragic that we are burdened with a senile candidate, as evidenced by his horrific debate performance, who will lose to Trump.

If Trump is Human Garbage, why is the Presidential Race a Dead Heat?

When the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is a thrice-married, twice impeached felon, failed insurrectionist, pathological liar, cognitively-challenged serial sexual assaulter of women, miscreant who has been convicted of rape and fraud in civil trials, sociopathic personality with delusions of being a dictator, you’d think the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee would be miles ahead in the polls even if he was a wilted head of cabbage.

Certainly Democrats, Independents and even Republicans should vote for Joe Biden, right?

But Donald Trump and Joe Biden are in a dead heat in the national polls, and Trump is ahead in most of the swing states.

Why? Dear God, why?

Donald Trump is not only the undisputed leader of the GOP, but he is also the messiah of the MAGA cult, and his disciples have an excuse or a conspiracy theory for all of his grievous faults.

Pathological Liar? Lies, what lies? Every utterance that emanates from their Orange Messiah’s sphincter-shaped mouth is an alternative fact accepted as the Gospel truth by his disciples.

Cognitively challenged? Whatcha talkin’ about Willis? Trump is a stable genius who has aced a couple of cognitive tests! He’s an eloquent speaker and if the publishing world wasn’t controlled by commies and lesbians, hundreds of his pearls of wisdom would be included in Barlett’s Familiar Quotations.

Felon? His sycophants think he was framed just like Jesus Christ! The Justice System was weaponized against their Dear Leader. Trump considers his felony convictions as badges of honor!

Failed Insurrectionist? The 2020 election was rigged, and the patriotic hero was just trying to stop the steal.

Sociopath? MAGA wingnuts think that the heartless billionaire feels their pain, they think he’s as empathetic as Jesus.

The MAGA cultists are convinced that Trump will win in a landslide, and that Trump will lose only if the election is once again rigged.

Trump: ‘I Love the Ten Commandments

“I LOVE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS, PRIVATE SCHOOLS, AND MANY OTHER PLACES, FOR THAT MATTER. READ IT — HOW CAN WE, AS A NATION, GO WRONG??? THIS MAY BE, IN FACT, THE FIRST MAJOR STEP IN THE REVIVAL OF RELIGION, WHICH IS DESPERATELY NEEDED, IN OUR COUNTRY. BRING BACK TTC!!! MAGA2024,”

Donald Trump Truth Social Post

Trump’s post expressing his undying love for the Ten Commandments came after Louisiana Governor Jeff Landy signed legislation this week that requires the display of the Ten Commandments in every public classroom in the state.

The thrice-married, twice-impeached and multi-indicted former president regularly breaks the commandments. He does not think the rule of law applies to himself, nor any divine precepts.

Trump’s endorsements are worth their weight in gold, and if the pathological liar and serial sexual predator gives his blessing to the ten injunctions, his MAGA cultists will interpret his approval as marching orders to lobby for the Decalogue to be posted in every classroom in America.

The Louisiana law does not pass constitutional muster, it violates the establishment clause of the U.S. Constitution, and it will eventually be overturned. But in the meantime, the Orange Messiah will strengthen his evangelical support by calling for the law of Moses to be posted in public schools.

Trump treats the Bible as a political prop and as a money raising tool, witness his $59.99 God Bless the USA Bible. It will not be long before a Trump endorsed poster of the Ten Commandments is available for $29.99 on his web site. His edition of the Ten Commandments might include some revisions. For example: Thou shall not commit adultery, unless thy wife is disgustingly pregnant, and then thou will have a dispensation to commit fornication with a porn star.

Trump is the Antithesis of a Macho Man

The evangelical movement is a patriarchy, and male leaders thunder a machismo Gospel of American Exceptionalism from the pulpits and females meekly give assent with bowed heads from their cushioned pews. The fair sex keeps quiet in the churches but are permitted to exclaim the Lord’s name or their husband’s name in the bedroom in the throes of climax, but not loud enough to awaken their innocent children.

Trump’s moral degeneracy, cognitive decline and physical deterioration are emblematic of a weak and pitiful man. Trump’s sphincter-shaped mouth, pot belly, triple chin, doll hands, and puny mushroom-shaped penis, is a far cry from the masculine ideal or the Macho Man praised by the Village People.

But evangelicals are enthralled by their larger-than-life Messiah, they consider him the epitome of virility and masculinity. They reason that if King Solomon had seven hundred wives, and three hundred concubines, their hero is entitled to have affairs with porn stars and trysts with Russian hookers specializing in golden showers.

Evangelicals consider Trump a real man, because he asserts power and dominance over liberals, RINO’s, and especially over progressive women of color. In their brainwashed minds, he is a Superhero who will destroy their enemies by any means necessary and will usher in a thousand-year White Christian Reich.

Trump is a wimp, and his followers are weak-willed morons who will crawl back into their holes when we defeat their messiah for the final time this November.

Trump Prompts Evangelical Congregation to Shout ‘Bullshit’

“Cries of “Bullshit!” “Bullshit” rang out at a packed Phoenix megachurch June 6 as Donald Trump held his first campaign rally since his conviction on 34 felonies in New York.

As for Biden’s recent executive order limiting immigration? Trump told the crowd at Phoenix Dream Center, an Assemblies of God congregation, that it was ‘bullshit.’

‘They come up with this order,’ he said. ‘I won’t say it, because I don’t like using the word ‘bullshit’ in front of these people.’”

Baptist News Global

Evangelical congregations, especially Assemblies of God churches, aren’t shy about shouting “Amen” and “Hallelujah” as a means of encouraging their pastors to continue preaching Biblical truths and holy living. It was considered anathema for a parishioner to whisper even a mild swear word like “damn” in a temple.

Pentecostal churches place an emphasis on what they consider holy behavior, which certainly rules out shouting obscenities in a house of worship. At least that was the way things were pre-Trump.

But when evangelicals embrace a pathological liar, serial sexual predator, indicted criminal, and twice-impeached sociopath as their messiah, anything goes. It is par for the course to shout “bullshit” in a church when you worship a steaming pile of shit like Donald Trump.

I am not surprised at all that when Trump incited crowd at a crowed evangelical megachurch to utter a swear word, cries of “bullshit” rang out in the sanctuary.

Trump’s cult of evangelical sycophants should be showered with shouts of “bullshit” whenever they leave their tabernacles of evil and try to blend in with normal folks.

Biden and Trump: Incontinent and Cranky Clowns Making Mockery of Our Presidential Election

A video of Joe Biden at the 80th anniversary of the D-Day invasion in Normandy has gone viral. The footage depicts the octogenarian commander-in-chief shaking hands with French President Emmanuel Macron, and then turning away and bending slightly, as if trying to sit down or as if he is digesting the fact that he just shit his pants in front of a world-wide viewing audience.

This disturbing video comes just days after the Donald Trump hush money trial featured the disgraced former president poisoning the court room with uncontrollable bouts of flatulence.

When a 78-year-old former president challenges an incumbent 81-year-old president it shouldn’t come as any surprise that that media coverage and political commercials will focus on droopy drawers and stinky farts.

Joe Biden and Donald Trump should reside in a nursing home where nobody will bat an eye if either one shits his pants or rips a loud and stinky fart. But we shouldn’t be expected to tolerate our president soiling his pants in a solemn occasion or a former president falling asleep in court and farting like nobody’s business.

I’m tired of this shit, the greatest democracy in the world shouldn’t put up with two incontinent senile presidential candidates.

Trump Talks About His Relationship With God

“A viewer asked Trump during a fawning Fox & Friends interview over the weekend, ‘What’s your relationship with God like, and how do you pray?’

‘OK, so I think it is good,’ Trump replied. ‘I do very well with the evangelicals. I love the evangelicals. And I have more people saying they pray for me ― I can’t even believe it. They are so committed, and they are so believing. They say, ‘Sir, you’re going to be OK. I pray for you every night.’ I mean, everybody, almost ― I can’t say everybody, but almost everybody that sees me, they say it.’”

Yahoo News

The first think that grabs my attention is that Trump supporters are so gullible and clueless that they think that a sociopath who’s a serial sexual assaulter of women, a pathological liar, a failed insurrectionist and a wannabe dictator has a relationship with God.

I bet the Fox News viewer who posed this fawning and ridiculous question is a white evangelical who thinks his Orange Messiah has a direct line to the Almighty.

Trump gushed over how believing (re: gullible) evangelicals are and how committed they are to him. They accept every absurdity, obscenity and lie that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth as the Gospel truth.

Trump is an egotistical narcissist who doesn’t believe in God, any belief in a deity or a code of ethics would conflict with his achieve success by any means necessary mentality.

I give Trump credit for deflecting the question, and not even pretending that he prays or has a relationship with God.

White evangelicals will focus on his claim that he loves them, and to them that’s proof that he’s God’s anointed.

Runaway Trump Bus on Way to MAGA Rally Crashes into Utility Pole

A bus on its way to a Trump rally in Staten Island crashed into a utility pole. The vehicle was festooned with religious signs and messages including a sign that said “Trust Jesus.”

I hate to disappoint my readers, but the bus was empty; the parked bus rolled down until it crashed into the pole.

If a runaway Trump bus was headed straight to a pole, I wonder if the Trump cultists would cry out to Jesus or Trump to save them.

Jesus is kind and merciful and He’s dropping a hint that maybe people who call themselves Christians shouldn’t attend a blasphemous, obscene and downright evil MAGA rally.

But I am sure that the Trump cultists just made other plans to attend the rally, neither hell nor high water nor a divine message will keep them from attending a satanic MAGA rally.

I guess Jesus didn’t take the wheel.

This accident, that coincidentally happened after Trump was declared guilty, is a perfect metaphor for the Trump campaign.

What Community Service Would be Best for Trump?

Former president Donald Trump was found guilty by a jury of 34 counts of falsifying business records for concealing hush money paid to adult film star Stormy Daniels before the 2016 presidential election.

The twice-impeached former president has a long history of evading taxes, failing to pay contractors, lying on financial statements to secure loans and sexually assaulting women, but this is his first criminal conviction.

Even though the real estate tycoon faces a possible maximum sentence of four years imprisonment for each of the 34 counts against him, it’s highly unlikely he will spend a day behind bars.

Given that this is his first criminal conviction and that he was found guilty of low-level non-violent felonies he is more likely to receive probation or community service. What type of court-ordered community service should the convict be ordered to perform?

Work at an Animal Shelter

Everything that Trump touches turns to shit, and he is responsible for polluting social media with tons of bullshit, therefore it is only right that he cleans up shit for a change.

Build a House for Habitat for Humanity

Trump is a builder and real estate developer who’s built luxurious condos and resorts for the wealthy and powerful, it’s only right that he helps build a modest home for a poor family for a change. It would be refreshing to see him channel Jimmy Carter instead of Richard Nixon, for a change.

Work as an Assistant for an Immigrant Landscaper

Trump demonizes undocumented workers as rapists, thieves and murderers, it’s only right that he work side-by-side with an immigrant so he can learn first-hand how hard-working, industrious and entrepreneurial most of them are.

Work as a Caregiver for Joe Biden

Even though Trump suffers from his own cognitive issues he constantly makes fun of Biden’s dementia. It’s only right that he be sentenced to change Bidens diapers, clean his dentures, and sing him bedtime stories.

If Trump is found guilty in his other pending criminal cases he will most likely be sentenced to prison, but in the meantime what community service do you think he deserves?

We Need to Reclaim American Flag from Trump and his MAGA Cultists

Before Trump became president in 2016 the American flag was a symbol of patriotism and freedom, and even Democrats proudly flew the flag without worrying that their neighbors might think that they were professing allegiance to Republican ideology.

But Trump and his MAGA cultists have turned our great flag into a symbol of allegiance to him and the MAGA movement. Old Glory is the battle flag of Trump and his insurrectionists; Trump rallies feature enormous American flags, and all sorts of merchandise depicting Trump and the flag are hawked at his rallies.

When I see the authoritarian orange sociopath hugging, kissing and caressing the American flag it makes me want to throw up.

Even though Lynchburg is a conservative city in the Bible Belt since Donald Trump became president in 2016, there have been significantly less homeowners flying American flags. Even mainstream Republicans who are not part of the MAGA cult are reluctant to display the Stars and Stripes.

I’m a progressive who hates how Trump has damaged the GOP in particular and democracy in general, but I still fly the American flag on my front porch because I’m so grateful to live in the greatest democracy in the world. I have a Black Lives Matter banner in my front yard, so my neighbors will not mistake me for a Trump supporter.

This Memorial Day American flags were flying proudly in public buildings and private residences in every neighborhood in Lynchburg.

I hope that Trump will be soundly defeated, and that all Americans, and not just Trump sycophants, will once again proudly display the American flag every day, not just on Memorial Day or Independence Day.

Shame on Nikki Haley for Endorsing Trump

Anthony Scaramucci, who for a New York minute served as White House communications director in the Trump Administration, criticized Nikki Haley for saying she would support the former president over President Biden. Her exact words:

“Trump has not been perfect on these policies. I’ve made that clear, many, many times. But Biden has been a catastrophe. So, I will be voting for Trump.”

This wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, in fact it barely qualifies as an endorsement, but she should have kept her mouth shut and preserved her dignity.

I feel no need to kiss the ring, Haley said in February before suspending her primary campaign; now she’s puckering her lips getting ready to kiss his ass. Now she has implicitly endorsed the sociopath that just a few months ago she described as “too old, too chaotic, too unhinged and too prone to temper tantrums to be president again.”

Haley states that Trump has not been perfect on his policies, but it’s not his policies so much as his criminal indictments hanging over his head, his racist and immoral behavior, and his authoritarian tendencies that renders him unqualified to serve as president.

Scaramucci was one of just a few principled Republicans who criticized Haley’s timid endorsement of Trump. Adam Kinzinger: “Not a surprise, but, pathetic.” Mark Sanderford: “What you have here is somebody obviously wanting to be relevant in 2028.”

It’s Trump, not Biden who’s a catastrophe and Haley’s weak endorsement of Trump isn’t enough for the MAGA cultists, and they will never forgive her for running against their messiah in the first place.

Classified Documents Found in Trump’s Bedroom Months After Mar-a-Lago Raid

Newly released court filings revealed that Donald Trump’s lawyers found classified documents in his bedroom months after the 2022 FBI raid of Mar-a-Lago. Most of the newspaper articles and cable news reported this disclosure as “shocking.”

I hardly find it shocking that Trump believes that he is a above the law, and that he has such disdain for the FBI and the rule of law that he kept classified documents in his bedroom.

I would be shocked if the MAGA messiah kept a Bible on the nightstand next to his bed. Trump is old school and he probably keeps a stained copy of Hustler magazine within easy reach of his creepy little hands.

I would be shocked if Melania was discovered on Trump’s bed, it’s probably been decades since he’s enjoyed carnal relations with this trophy wife. She’d rather be dead than endure the degradation of having her fat ass husband grope her breasts with his disgusting doll hands or have his puny presidential pecker anywhere near her vagina.

I’d be shocked if clean bedsheets were discovered on the former president’s bed. Can you imagine what his bedsheets look like after Trump has been on his bed for just a few moments? The linen would be defiled by his fake orange tan, blond hair dye, and not to mention that the incontinent septuagenarian would leave the sheets smudged with feces and drenched with urine.

I would be surprised if a chess set was found in Trum p’s bedroom, at this point he doesn’t have the cognitive ability to play Tic-Tac-Toe.

More classified document found in Trump’s bedroom? I don’t think anyone is surprised.

The Debate Between Sleepy Joe and Drowsy Don Will be a Snoozefest

Let’s get ready to rumble! President Joe Biden, 81, and former President Donald Trump, 77, have agreed to a pair of debates. The two ageing pugilists have agreed to a debate on June 27, hosted by CNN, and another on Sept. 10 hosted by ABC.

Don’t expect a Lincoln-Douglas oratory masterclass when these two senile combatants take the stage, it will be more like a clash between Mr. Magoo and Scrooge McDuck.

The debates will feature just the two presidential candidates and the moderators without the rowdy in-person audience that makes even the most boring verbal duel interesting. This will be a disadvantage for Trump because he feeds off the energy of his cultists. The Sleepy Joe vs Drowsy Don debate will be a snoozefest.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr was not invited to the debate; I guess a conspiracy theorist who had part of his brain eaten by a worm would only serve to make the verbal confrontation between the old geezers more confusing.

The only way this debate will be interesting is if Joe Biden stumbles walking up to the stage or if he can’t find his lectern without assistance. There’s also the strong probability that Trump will enliven the verbal match with a bout of flatulence.

I would caution Biden to be prepared for low blows, there is no telling what the vulgar and vindictive Trump will say to rattle his opponent. And I would caution Trump not to interrupt Biden if he regales the viewing audience with an anecdote about Corn Pop, let Biden be Biden and he will lose the debate.

Trump is Past His Expiration Date

“Michael Cohen testified today that Trump once asked him how long he’d be single if Melania were to leave him and said, ‘How long do you think I’d be on the market for? Not long.’ On the market?

‘Coincidentally, ‘not long’ is how Stormy described it.’ — STEPHEN COLBERT

‘But it’s true — he would be off the market soon. I mean, he is clearly past his expiration date.’ — STEPHEN COLBERT”

The New York Times

Trump is past his expiration date as far as being viable marriage material. The narcissist bragged that if Melania left him over his extramarital affairs, he wouldn’t be in the market for long. Trump isn’t exactly a good catch for a gold-digger, he has mountains of debt, his future residence may be a federal penitentiary, he’s persona non grata in most social circles, and not to mention that he’s butt ugly. Imagine a gold-digger calculating whether it’s worth it to marry a billionaire with a mouth that looks like a sphincter. She’d probably faint the first time he tried to french kiss her.

Trump is also past his expiration date when it comes to his physical condition. Like a sirloin steak that’s past its expiration and has been dyed to make it appear fresh, the septuagenarian with the dyed blond wispy hair and the orange complexion reeks to high heaven. Is it any surprise that lawyers, journalists, court reporters and other court officials have complained that he smells, and not just when he’s farting. Trump is physically deteriorating, witness his double chin, his balding pate, and unsteady gate.

Needless to say, Trump’s brain is past its expiration date. The buffoon can’t complete a sentence, let alone a speech. He doesn’t make sense regardless how much weed you smoke or alcohol you drink.

Trump is past his expiration date when it comes to his neo-Nazi, authoritarian ideology. His fascist rhetoric may have been all the rage in Germany in the 30’s and early 40’s, but it’s past its expiration date in 21st century America. His far-right Nationalist ideology may resonate with his evangelical base, but they are a minority in our secular democracy.

Trump is past his expiration when it comes to being a viable presidential candidate, it’s time for voters to kick him to the curb.

What People Remember the Most About Trump’s Administration is His Execrable Behavior

“Two of the biggest U.S. news events in decades, the Covid pandemic and the Jan. 6 storming of the Capitol, are seldom the first thing on people’s minds when it comes to their memories of the Trump administration, for example, according to an April Times/Siena survey of registered voters nationwide.

When asked to describe the one thing they remembered most from Donald J. Trump’s presidency, only 5 percent of respondents referred to Jan. 6, and only 4 percent to Covid.”

The New York Times

The COVID pandemic was a catastrophe that decimated our economy, shuttered our churches, schools and entertainment venues, infected most Americans and killed over one million of us.

Trump’s response to this tragedy was ineffectual from the beginning when he tried to dismiss the pandemic as no different from the flu. He disregarded the advice of the CDC and his own health officials, promoted quack cures like bleach and ivermectin, and generally tried to downplay the crisis for political expediency.

Post pandemic thanks to the efficacy of vaccines and the implementation of social mitigation measures COVID is now a seasonal virus like the flu, and most Americans seem to have forgotten Trump’s abysmal response to the pandemic.

The January 6 Insurrection was a failed coup and an existential threat to our democracy, and former president Donald Trump was the instigator and enabler of the insurrectionists who stormed the Capitol.

The insurrectionists are languishing in jails in D.C. and most Americans have forgotten that Trump was the chief insurrectionist.

Historians will devote volumes to Trump’s mishandling of the COVID threat and to his attempt to undermine our democracy, but according to the Times poll what most Americans remember about the Trump administration are the economy and his behavior.

It’s about the economy stupid, and Trump’s behavior is execrable, but as the 2024 general election quickly approaches, we mustn’t forget Trump’s botched response to COVID or his contempt for our democracy.

America managed to survive Trump’s administration, but if he regains power, it may mean the end to our democracy.

Mad Respect for Stormy Daniels for Surviving her Tryst with the King of Smelly Farts, Trump

Porn star Stormy Daniels took the witness stand on Tuesday at Donald Trump’s hush-money criminal trial and described in lurid detail her 2006 one-night-stand with the disgraced former president.

For the first time in over a decade the adult film actor, who exuded confidence and honesty, met face-to-face with the pathological liar who is seeking one again to become president in spite of the 91 indictments hanging over his head.

I read the transcript of Daniel’s testimony, and I won’t subject you to a retelling of this sordid sexual encounter; I don’t want to be liable for your therapy bills.

I will focus only on the episode when the narcissist Trump showed her a magazine featuring himself on the cover, leading Stormy to remark: “Someone should spank you with that.” Per the porn star, “He gave me the look that dared me to do it, so I swatted him with it right on the butt.”

Sometimes porn actors are forced to perform humiliating and degrading acts, but even perverse acts like bestiality are not as soul-killing as spanking an incontinent old man who is susceptible to out-of-control farting.

if you spank Trump at best, it will provoke a fart and at worst the smack might unleash a torrent of diarrhea. I have nothing but respect and sympathy for Stormy for having survived her tryst with the deviant with a mushroom-shaped puny pecker and the big old farting butt.

‘Von ShitzinPants’ Perfect Nickname for Donald Trump

Michael Cohen’s, Donald Trump’s former lawyer-cum fixer, scatological nickname for his ex-boss broke the internet and shattered the spirts of the former president when social media posts in which he called him “Von ShitzinPants” were read aloud during a contempt of court hearing.

The social media posts were read aloud by Trump’s own lawyer, Todd Blanche. He was trying to argue that it was unfair for a gag order to prevent Trump from talking smack about witnesses when they could say anything about him.

Trump christens his political opponents with silly monikers that amuse elementary schoolyard bullies, simpletons, and MAGA cultists.

It was extremely satisfying to witness the pompous fool get a taste of his own medicine, and to hear his own lawyer say Von ShitzinPants was the cherry on the cake.

Von ShitzinPants is the perfect nickname for Trump, considering he has a penchant for farting in the courtroom. It’s also common knowledge that the incontinent septuagenarian wears diapers.

When Trump isn’t shitting in his pants, verbal diarrhea is streaming from his sphincter-shaped mouth.

I died laughing when I read about this courtroom drama; Trump couldn’t say or do shit when he heard himself being referred to as Von ShitzinPants.

Why Hasn’t There Been a Major Hollywood Trump Biopic?

Donald Trump is the most famous, or should I say infamous, person in the world. His name recognition is right up there with Jesus, Santa Claus and the devil himself. So why in God’s name hasn’t there been a biopic depicting his career as a politician since he descended the Trump Tower golden escalator to announce his presidential candidacy?

Trump’s political career has all the ingredients for a Hollywood movie blockbuster: financial shenanigans, criminal indictments, impeachments, unbridled greed, political corruption and sex in all of its deviant variations:  extramarital affairs, golden showers, a dalliance with a porn star, sexual harassment, a protagonist with a mushroom shaped micro-penis and even allegations of rape of a minor.

The Trump life story is a film begging to be made, so why isn’t there a Trump biopic?

To begin with, you just can’t find an actor to play Trump straight out of central casting, he is a one-of-a-kind physical abomination. Pray tell where is a Hollywood casting director going to locate a septuagenarian with raccoon eyes, an orange complexion, a triple chin, a hairdo that resembles cotton candy after Russian hookers have peed on it, a mouth that resembles a sphincter, grotesque doll hands, and a beer belly that looks like it’s ready to explode. The film will require nude scenes, and exactly where can you track down an actor with a mushroom-shaped minuscule pecker.

Also, producers are afraid to make a movie about Trump because of his MAGA followers. They worship Trump as their messiah, and they won’t be pleased without anything else than a hagiography. You think Muslims are upset when the Prophet Mohammad is depicted in an unfavorable light? Imagine if Trump is accurately portrayed as a dangerous sociopath, his supporters would burn down every movie theatre that plays the Trump biopic.

We may have to wait until Trump is dead before a Trump movie is released.

Trump Farted in Courtroom During Hush-Money Trial

“What I’m hearing from credible sources is that Donald Trump is actually farting in the courtroom… I’m hearing it from actual credible people that as he’s kind of falling asleep, he’s actually passing gas and that his lawyers are really struggling with the smell.”

This quote from Ben Meiselas, the founder of the virulently anti-Trump political action committee Meidas Touch, has gone viral spreading faster than a fart in a room with no ventilation.

This noxious allegation has been debunked by Snopes, the premier fact-checking website, but there may be a whiff of truth in it. After all, it’s widely believed that Trump is incontinent. If the fat pig can’t control his bowels, it stands to reason he can’t stop himself from farting like a loose cannon.

The judge in Trump’s hush money trial has placed him under a gag order, stopping the blowhard with the sphincter-shaped mouth from attacking witnesses in his trial. Unfortunately, the judge is incapable of stopping him from polluting the courtroom with his deadly gas.

Even when Trump is napping, he is still a menace to society, gagging his own lawyers with his indiscriminate flatulence.  

The narcissist sociopath is always tooting his own horn, even when he’s asleep in court he’s still tooting away, poisoning the courtroom with his smelly toots.

Even when he’s unconscious Trump is still poisoning the atmosphere, America won’t be rid of this ill wind until he’s dead and gone.

Trump Falls Asleep in Court with Sphincter-Shaped Mouth Agape

“Maggie Haberman, a Senior Political Correspondent for the New York Times, reported today to CNN that Trump “appeared to be asleep. His head would fall down… He didn’t pay attention to a note his lawyer passed him. His jaw kept falling on his chest and his mouth kept going slack.”

Los Angeles Magazine

Donald Trump the septuagenarian former president who calls octogenarian President Joe Biden “Sleepy Joe” can’t seem to keep his eyes open in court.

If I was in court for a speeding violation, I would be so ashamed, contrite and nervous that I wouldn’t have any problems keeping my eyes open.

But Trump who is charged with 34 counts of falsifying business records in the first degree, in an attempt to hide hush-money payments to porn star Stormy Daniels is so accustomed to being indicted that he just can’t stay awake in court.

According to Haberman Trump’s jaw kept falling on his chest and his sphincter-shaped mouth was agape. That is such a disturbing pornographic image, that would even keep Stormy awake at night.

I hope that the sketch artists who are present in the courtroom will depict Trump accurately with his sphincter-shaped mouth open and drool oozing down his triple chin.

Maybe at the conclusion of the trial when Trump is found guilty, he’ll finally wake up.

Trump’s MAGA Rallies End with an Altar Call

An altar call is a tradition in most evangelical churches. After the pastor finishes his sermon, he issues an altar call. While the choir quietly sings an invitational hymn like “Just as I am”, the pastor beseeches his congregation to bow their heads, close their eyes, and pray for the Holy Spirit to harvest souls. The minister will plead with church members to come to the altar to rededicate their lives to Jesus and with unbelievers to walk down the aisle and make a public profession of faith. Even if only one or two souls respond to the altar car, it’s perceived as validation that the Almighty has blessed the service.

Trump’s MAGA rallies have always commenced with a local evangelical pastor saying a benediction, but lately his rallies now conclude with an altar call MAGA style. With music softly playing in the background, the orange messiah delivers a ten-minute finale that evokes an evangelical altar call.

Many MAGA cultists even bow their heads during Trump’s altar call, the only difference between a church altar call and a MAGA altar call is that Trump doesn’t ask his followers to come forward and rededicate their lives to him.

But I’m persuaded that after an hour of hearing their orange Savior rail against migrants, racial minorities and the LGBT community, Trump’s disciples leave his rallies inspired and motivated to spread his Gospel of hatred and violence.

If Biden Debates Trump He Will Lose the Debate and the Election

Donald Trump is a boxing fan, and he usually has a ringside seat at major boxing events. Even though Trump weighs almost 300 pounds, never exercises, wears diapers instead of boxing trunks, and has tiny doll hands, he views himself as a pugilist. Trump styles himself as a counterpuncher, but actually he’s more of a down-puncher. He strikes out at subordinates and people who he deems incapable of punching back.

The orange pig will never enter a boxing ring, but the next best thing for him is the debate stage. Trump is dying to debate the physically frail and cognitively challenged Joe Biden.

Last month, the combatative politician used his Truth Social platform to dare Biden to step onto the debate stage with him, declaring that he’s prepared to debate the Democratic incumbent “ANYTIME, ANYWHRE, ANYPLACE.” The former president expressed a desire to see ten debates, rather than the usual three general election debates.

Even though Trump is just as senile as Biden he would demolish, destroy and disembowel the octogenarian president. At the first verbal jab Biden’s dentures would go flying out, he would lose his train of thought and maybe control of his bowels as well.

There is no way that Biden can compete against an adversary who breaks all the rules, talks over his opponents and lands more low blows than legitimate punches.

If Biden is foolish enough to debate Trump, he will lose the debate and the election.