robert paul reyes

Brush Your Cat At Least Once a Week

The average cat spends anywhere from 85% to 90% of his day sleeping, about 10% destroying your earthly possessions, and the rest of his time plotting to kill you.

Felines are independent and low-maintenance, and you may think that all you have to do is feed them and clean their litter box, but you still need to brush your kitty at least once a week.

Even though cats spend an inordinate amount of time grooming themselves, brushing your cat on a weekly basis helps remove loose hairs from his undercoat. If these loose hairs aren`t removed your cat will ingest them, and eventually expel them as hairballs.

Grooming your pet will also help you bond with him, he may think twice about scratching your furniture if you show him a little bit of attention.

Come on don`t be so lazy, you spend a good two minutes a day scratching your ass, you can make time to brush your kitty for a few minutes each week.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Two Men Arrested for Being Black at Starbucks in Trump’s America

I avoid Starbucks like the plague, I prefer not to patronize an establishment that`s a magnet for slackers, wankers, hipsters and other assorted millennial riff-raff.

Starbucks is forced to sell a cup of coffee for a small fortune, because their clientele will nurse a cup of Java for hours while they take advantage of the free Wi-Fi.

I`d rather go to McDonalds and buy coffee at a reasonable price and not be surrounded by earbud-wearing zombies.

I doubt that a white customer has ever been arrested for trespassing for lingering too long over a cup of coffee, or for asking to use the restroom before ordering.

But all hell broke loose at a Philadelphia Starbucks when two young African American men had the temerity to ask to use the restroom before ordering an overpriced cup of coffee. You`d think they has requested to use the bathroom to sell crack.

The video of the outrageous incident has gone viral after it was shared on Twitter with a caption stating that two black men were arrested simply for waiting on a friend at the coffee chain outlet.

The men were waiting for a friend, who`s a real estate agent, to discuss a real estate deal. But the Starbucks employees see two young black men chatting, and they assume that they are discussing a drug deal, and they call 911.

Unless I see a black person commit a crime right before my eyes I wouldn`t call the cops, because I know that a person of color doesn`t have a good chance of surviving any interaction with the police.

The black gentlemen remained remarkably calm while being surround by cops, and they were handcuffed and perp-walked out of Starbucks.

It`s a shame that this type of racist incident happens with alarming regularity, but thank God they didn`t become another hashtag.

Link to video:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/philadelphia-starbucks-arrest/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Guide Dog Trained to Sniff Out Burger King Whoppers for Blind Owner

“On April 12, Burger King`s U.K. branch released a video to YouTube of a guide dog being successfully trained to smell out flame-grilled Whoppers for his visually impaired owner.

British hockey player Nathan Tree describes his golden retriever Flynn as his “best friend” who “saves my life every day.” Traveling often for his career on the ice, Tree was inspired to teach his pup to sniff out Burger King Whoppers, his “go-to food.”

After fifteen days of training, Flynn is successfully able to identify a flame-grilled Whopper in a blind scent test with another burger and fish and chips, just in time for Tree`s trip to Paris.”

Fox News

According to a video posted on YouTube by Burger King a guide dog has been successfully trained to smell out flame-grilled Whoppers for his blind owner.

Methinks this is one of the greatest whoppers ever told in an advertising campaign. I`m not blind, but I am lazy as hell, and it would be terrific if I could train my pooch to sniff out the closest Burger King, and bring me back a couple of Whoppers.

But I`m afraid my doggie would only bring back the wrappers, she`s pilfered a burger from my kitchen table on more than one occasion.

In the commercial Tree and Flynn walk through the City of Lights, and the canine successfully leads his owner to a Burger King.

Those type of miracles may only happen in commercials, but Flynn is an adorable pooch and those Whoppers look mighty tasty.

Read More:

http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2018/04/14/burger-king-trained-guide-dog-to-sniff-out-whoppers.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6qJpnJvMLQ

New York Daily News Headline: PEE BRAIN! Trump is a Pea-Brain Golden Showers-Loving Freak

“New Yorks hometown newspaper is taking on President Donald Trump yet again with another absolutely savage front page.

The New York Daily News posted its Friday cover on Twitter late Thursday:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ny-daily-news-trump-pee-cover_us_5ad01136e4b0edca2cb81e0f“

Huffington Post

The New York Daily News headline screams: PEE BRAIN! Is this yellow journalism (no pun intended), or does President Donald Trump deserve the golden showers of ridicule that are devastating his administration?

That`s a rhetorical question, Trump is indeed a pea-brain short-fingered vulgarian who is destroying our democracy and staining his presidency. It`s incumbent upon all legitimate newspapers to expose him as an Emperor who has no clothes and is drenched in urine.

When then FBI Director James Comey told President Donald Trump about the infamous dossier, he seemed obsessed with the most lurid allegation, that the Russians had a tape of prostitutes urinating on each other in his hotel room in Moscow.

According to Comey, Trump told him to investigate it to prove that it didn`t happen. Comey quotes Trump as saying: If there`s even a 1% chance my wife thinks that`s true, that terrible.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much, there`s a 100% chance Melania knows that her hubby is the kind of freak who dances the Macarena while hookers piss all over him.

The White House needs a solid cleansing, the People`s House needs to be hosed down, washing away pee-stained Trump and his all of his lackeys.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Christian Conspiracy Theorist David Meade Predicts Rapture Will Take Place April 23, 2018

“According to conspiracy theorists, codes in the Bible suggest the end of the world is imminent, with Earth set to be destroyed on April 23.
One theory suggests the end times dates back to astrological constellations appearing on November 23, matching the book of Revelation 12:1-2.
The passage signals the start of the Rapture and the second coming of Jesus Christ.
The passage 12:1-2 reads: `And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth.`”
Express

With President Donald Trump threatening on Twitter to strike Syria with Tomahawk missiles, and news anchors discussing if the president hired prostitutes to urinate on each other it certainly feels like we are living in the last days.

Christian theologian and author David Meade is making headlines for predicting that the Rapture will take place April 23, 2018.

But before you cash out your CD`s and live like a decadent billionaire before the world ends it`s important to keep these things in mind:

*The Bible warns us in Matthew 24.36: But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

*”David Meade” is a pen name, the wack job conspiracy theorist doesn`t have the courage to use his real name.

*The end-time conspiracy theorist predicted that the planet Nibiru was going to collide with Earth on September 13, 2017. After his prediction failed, he revised the apocalypse to October 2017, and then November 2017.

Meade has repeatedly been wrong in predicting the Rapture, it`s worth noting that the Old Testament says that prophets who are wrong even one time should be killed:

Deuteronomy 18: 20: But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.

We`re not living under the Old Testament dispensation but we should put him to death 21st century style: Ridicule the wanker on social media until he kills himself.

Read More:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/944211/end-of-the-world-rapture-april-23-prediction

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Crazy Woman Offers to Trade Car for Entire Stock of Necco Wafers!

“A Florida woman really loves Necco Wafers, the colorful candies made by a Massachusetts-based company that is currently at risk of shutting down.

The Boston Globe reports 23-year-old Katie Samuels reached out to candy wholesaler Candystore.com to offer her 2003 Honda Accord for all of their stock.

Samuels has childhood memories of playing “church” at her grandmother`s home and pretending to take Communion with the candies.

In March, Necco announced that 395 workers could be laid off if the company does not find a buyer. Candystore.com did not accept the offer in what they`re calling “The Great Necco Wafer Panic,” but Samuels managed to buy four dozen rolls of the wafers.”

NBC Washington

I have fond memories of candy bars like Look, Big Hunk and Rocky Road that I enjoyed as a child, but can`t find in supermarket shelves today.

But I still have nightmares about the time that I ate Necco Wafers as a child. I don`t remember if it was the neighbor who didn`t appreciate me playing in the sidewalk in front of his house or the crazy cat lady who gave me that godawful candy, but I still can`t get the taste out of my mind.

Necco Wafers are about the same size as communion wafers, and they come in different colors, but they taste like chalk or aspirin.

I might trade in my 2003 Ford Focus for a truckload of Big Hunk candy bars or even communion wafers, but you couldn`t pay me enough money to eat even one Necco Wafer.

If you are an eccentric like Katie Samuels who loves Necco Wafers, you don`t have to worry about the company going out of business, sales of the weird candy has skyrocketed since the Boston Globe reported their financial troubles.

Read More:
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/national-international/Florida-Woman-Offers-Car-for-Entire-Stock-of-Necco-Wafers-479385283.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Outrage: Alabama Football Team Prays for Donald Trump at White House!

“Members of the University of Alabama football team prayed with President Donald Trump on Tuesday afternoon as they made their ceremonial visit to the White House as winners of the 2017-2018 College Football Playoff National Championship.

During the Trump presidency, visits by championship sports teams to the White House have seemingly been marred by the fact that some high-profile athletes haven`t made the trip to the executive mansion to protest the president.

However, the Crimson Tide`s visit to the White House on Tuesday to celebrate their 26-23 Jan. 8 victory over the University of Georgia could likely be remembered for the fact that a handful of players huddled around the president to pray for him and the administration.

According to WBRC sports reporter Christina Chambers, the prayer was the idea of Alabama punter JK Scott. Chambers reports that when the punter went to shake Trump`s hand following his ceremony, he asked the president if he could pray with him.”

Christian Post

The tradition of teams visiting the White House to celebrate their championship should take a hiatus during the Trump administration. Most football teams, whether amateur or professional, are predominantly African American, and it makes no sense for them to visit the White House, and thereby giving their stamp of approval to the racist Trump administration.

Instead of visiting the White House to celebrate their 2017 NBA championship, the Golden State Warriors toured the National Museum of African-American History and Culture with local Washington students.

Championship teams should follow the example of the Golden State Warriors and turn down invitations to visit the White House. However I`m not surprised that the University of Alabama football team made their ceremonial visit to the White House as winners of the 2017-2018 College Football Playoff National Championship. After all the state of Alabama is a Mecca for rednecks; Alabamians love football, pedophile senatorial candidates, and of course Donald Trump.

Not only did the Alabama football team visit the White House, but they huddled around the president, laid hands on him, and prayed for the racist bastard.

It would have been OK if players prayed for Trump to repent and turn away from his wicked ways. But I`m sure these wankers prayed a generic Christian prayer asking God to bless Trump and give him wisdom. Such bullcrap!

I`m going to pray myself, that next year the Crimson Tide won`t win the national championship.

Read More:

https://www.christianpost.com/news/alabama-football-team-prays-for-donald-trump-white-house-national-championship-ceremony-222797/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Diamond and Silk’s Coonery and Buffoonery Resonates With Trump’s Racist Base

Lynnette “Diamond” Hardaway and Rochelle “Silk” Richardson known as “Diamond and Silk” are two of President Donald Trump`s most ardent African American supporters.

They take “coonery and buffoonery” to an absurd level, and their videos resonate with Trump`s racist base for the same reason that minstrel shows were very popular in the South in the early 19th century.

I can imagine white Trump supporters watching a Diamond and Silk video, laughing at their antics, and wondering why all black people can`t be hoodwinked so easily.

It sickens me that two black women shucking and jiving in support of a blatantly racist president garner millions of views on YouTube.

But YouTube and Facebook shouldn`t take any measures to censor or demonetize their videos. Coonery and buffoonery isn`t hate speech, and Diamond and Silk videos are protected free speech.

Facebook recently classified the videos produced by Diamond and Silk as “unsafe to the community,” and that had the practical effect of making their content on Facebook more difficult to access.

Their videos are an affront to the black race, and indeed all of humanity, but as I have previously stated their content shouldn`t be censored or restricted.

In the Facebook community there is enough bandwidth for pages that celebrate cats, promote human rights, defend liberty, advocate on the behalf of gays, lesbians and other minorities, and yes there is even space for pages where Uncle Toms can indulge in their coonery.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Dude Stabs Woman With Steak Knife Because He Didn’t Like Texture of His Steak

“According to state police, 41-year-old Shannon Lynch was having dinner with a woman in a Bullskin Township home around 11 p.m. when the two got into an argument.

Police say Lynch `took offense to the texture of his steak` and began to assault the woman. During the assault, Lynch allegedly picked up a steak knife and stabbed the woman in the arm.

Lynch then left the house, and police say his current whereabouts are unknown.”

CBS Pittsburgh

I don`t want to make light of domestic abuse, but if I wait until almost midnight for my steak dinner, that damn steak better be cooked perfectly.

That woman had one thing to do, and one thing only: To cook that slab of meat to her man`s ideal standards, and she failed miserably.

Naturally homeboy took offense to the texture of his steak, and stabbed the woman in the arm with the steak knife.

I guarantee that the next time this woman fixes a steak dinner for her man, it will be cooked to his exact specifications. I can also guarantee that there will be a next time, stupid women rarely kick their violent boyfriends to the curb.

Naturally Lynch left the house after stabbing his date, what would be the point in staying, stabbing your date is an automatic conversation killer.

Read More:

http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2018/04/07/fayette-county-steak-woman-stabbed/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

College Student Uses CPR She Learned From ‘The Office’ to Save Squirrel

“Michigan college student said she used a CPR technique she learned from NBC`s The Office to save the life of a drowning squirrel.

Central Michigan University student Natalie Belisto posted a video to Twitter showing her rescuing the drowning squirrel and later keeping it warm with a hair dryer.”

UPI

College students are post-millennial slackers who find comradery and security in their safe spaces, bur are ill fit to thrive in society. They are adept at finding Wi-Fi hot spots, but are totally clueless at changing a tire or cooking a meal.

But Michigan University student, Natalie Belisto, isn`t a useless wanker like her contemporaries, she used CPR to save the life of a drowning squirrel. Being a child of the Internet age, this heroic woman posted a video to Twitter showing her dramatic rescue.

Belisto learned CPR from “The Office,” a sit-com that aired from March 24, 2005, to May 16, 2013. This mockumentary has become a cult favorite, and is perhaps the most streamed series in Netflix`s history.

Fans of “The Office” feel an intimate connection with the series because it breaks the fourth wall, and the characters stare at viewers and talk directly to them.

Pam/Jenna Fischer might as well have spoken to Belisto from the boob tube: Save that squirrel! Just remember that episode when the Dunder Mifflin employees learned that a good tip for CPR is to do chest compressions to the beat of the Bee Gees song “Staying Alive.”

May that hapless squirrel stay alive forever!

May heroic Natalie Belisto stay alive forever!

May “The Office” stay alive forever!

Link to video: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/04/06/College-student-uses-CPR-to-save-drowning-squirrel/6911523035873/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=1

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox is a Master at Trolling Donald Trump

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox is the undisputed master at trolling Donald Trump, he makes the likes of Rosie O`Donnell and Jimmy Kimmel look like rank amateurs in the art of getting under Trump`s orange skin.

On Good Friday (I realize Easter Week is over, but any Friday that Fox ridicules Trump is a Good Friday), he shared an image on Twitter of himself wearing a new Trump-trolling T-shirt. Click the link at the bottom of page.

The design depicts Trump as a baby who is building a wall from Lego bricks. There is a smoke symbol representing the stench emanating from his soiled diapers. Trump has a smug expression of his face, he`s oblivious that he stinks to high heaven. He`s just as oblivious that his wall is a fantasy that will never come to fruition.

The slogan on the shirt reads: Can`t Build a Wall if Your Hands are too Small! Not only are Trump`s hands too tiny to build a wall, but his brain is too small to conceptualize the herculean effort to build a $100 billion wall.

Fox has long ridiculed Trump`s promise to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border.

Viva Fox! You made my day, please continue to troll Trump, we hate him even more you hate the bastard.

Link to pic of anti-Trump shirt:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vicente-fox-donald-trump-t-shirt_us_5ac86ca7e4b09d0a1194003b

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Is Melania Trump Mocked More Than Any Other First Lady?

Conservatives have their MAGA panties in a twist over Jimmy Kimmel poking fun at Melania Trump`s Slovenian accent as she was reading a children`s book to children at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll event.

“Never stop exploring, cause life would be boring. Be clever be curious just like a cat. Ask lots of questions about this and that,” Melania read.

“Like dis and dat, ” the late night comic said, impersonating an Easter European accent and then joking to his sidekick, Guillermo Rodriquez, that he could be First Lady.

Melania should read that children`s book to her husband at bedtime, maybe it will encourage him to read instead of wasting time watching “Fox and Friends:`

I actually think Melania rocked when she was reading to the little kids, it sounded like she was channeling Snoop Dogg on “Nothing but a G Thang”:

It`s like dis and like dat and like dis and a-
It`s like dat and like dis and like dat and a-
It`s like dis, and who gives a fuc* about those?
So just chill `til the next episode.

In their alternate reality conservatives claim that no First Lady has been demeaned and mocked more than Melania. Bitch, please!

Michelle Obama caught holy hell from evangelicals for daring to bare her arms, while they remain mute about Melania`s softcore porn lesbian photographs from her modeling days.

I don`t make fun of Melania`s accent, good God English is her fourth or fifth language. But I do fault her for not raising her voice, in any language, to protest her husband`s misogyny, racism and bullying nature.

It`s like dis and like dat,

chill out bitches,

Donald Trump is the one we be aiming for.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Link to homepage of Robert Paul Reyes: https://robertpaulreyes.com

Trump’s Twitter Typos

Twitter is my favorite social media platform, and I fire off more than a dozen tweets on a daily basis. It`s easy to make a typo when I`m angrily responding to a tweet of someone blasting one of my articles, but unless it`s a flagrant typo I usually don`t bother to correct it. My pet peeve is anal-retentive wankers whose panties get in a twist over punctuation or typos in a tweet.

However I`m not the Leader of the Free World, and I have thousands not millions of followers. A typo on my Twitter feed will most likely go unnoticed, but a comma in the wrong place or a typo can cause an international incident if you`re the President of the United States.

I don`t think I`m being anal-retentive when I criticize Trump for his grammar-challenged and typo-ridden tweets. When Trump sends a tweet at an ungodly hour in the moment, he should wake up whoever he`s sleeping with and ask her to check his spelling, punctuation and grammar.

But then again even if Trump`s tweets were free of typos and punctuation errors, they are still the ramblings of a sick and twisted mind.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com

Bizarre UK Police Sketch Breaks the Internet

“A British police department`s computer-generated sketch of a suspect is going viral thanks to the face`s unrealistic proportions.

Warwickshire Police tweeted a sketch of a man believed to have been involved in a distraction burglary in Stratford, England, in February.

The department said the sketch was based on the victim`s description, but commenters on Twitter suggested the sketch`s unusually large mouth and teeth made it more closely resemble a Snapchat filter than a real person`s face.”

UPI

After distracting the homeowner, burglars broke into her home and stole an undisclosed amount of money.

I can only assume that all the burglar with the huge mouth had to do was smile to distract the hapless homeowner, while his partner-in-crime snuck inside.

The computer-generated sketch was based on the description of the victim. Perhaps this woman has a fetish for men with a huge mouth, and all she could tell the cops was that the burglar`s mouth was a mile wide.

I can`t say I blame the befuddled woman, if a burglar with big boobs conned her way into my home, I would tell the police sketch artist: Dude her face was a blank, all I can remember is her incredible rack.

Needless to say this burglar will never be caught based on the police computer-generated sketch.

Pic of sketch:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/04/04/Police-departments-big-mouthed-suspect-sketch-goes-viral/1451522852189/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=7

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Trump Tweets Thanks to Rasmussen Reports Poll

“President Trump took to Twitter on Tuesday and commented on a poll from conservative-leaning Rasmussen Reports that shows his approval rating at 50 percent, ahead of where former President Barack Obama was at the same point in his presidency.

`Thank you to Rasmussen for the honest polling. Just hit 50%, which is higher than Cheatin` Obama at the same time in his Administration,` Trump tweeted.”

AOL

If Fox News is the state propaganda organ of the Trump administration, Rasmussen Reports is the official White House poll.

The conservative-leaning Rasmussen is always an outlier, it makes you wonder if they only interview morons who`ve bought merchandise from the official Trump Store.

Although Trump`s ratings have been rising recently, most respectable polls show his approval ratings in the low 40`s.

Trump isn`t content to bask in the glow of the suspect Rasmussen poll, he can`t help but gratuitously insult Obama.

A man who`s cheated on all three of his wives, should think twice about labeling anyone as a cheater.

Polls are just a snapshot of history, but when all is said and done the history books will depict Obama as a good president, and Trump as an abomination.

Read More:

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/04/03/trump-my-approval-rating-hit-50-percent-higher-than-that-of-cheatin-obama/23401711/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Robert Paul Reyes: My DNA Results

My mother was born in Mexico and my father was born in Venezuela, and I am cognizant that most Mexicans and South Americans are mestizos of mixed Spanish and Native American heritage.

Culturally and racially I identified as Hispanic, regardless how much the blood of my European conquerors may be in my DNA.

I was curious about the breakdown of my ethnic background, so I did what an increasingly greater number of people are doing: I took an Ancestry.Com DNA test.

I received my results today:

I`M 42 PERCENT EUROPEAN

Europe South: 26 percent

Europe West: 16 percent

I`M 32 PERCENT NATIVE AMERICAN

My DNA shows that I have ancestry from Native Americans that links me to these specific regions: Western and Central Mexico

OTHER REGIONS

Mali: 5 percent

Iberian Peninsula: 4 percent

Asia Central: 3 percent

Europe East: 1 percent

Africa: 1 percent

Finland/Russia: 1 percent

European Jewish: 1 percent

In light of the fact that I`m only 32 percent indigenous, and that I`m more European than anything else, you may be wondering if I still self-identify as Latino.

Hell yes, I have no intentions of marking the other field in any employment application.

Spanish was my first language, and my father was very proud of his Venezuelan ancestry, and he instilled in me a love for my Latino heritage.

My mother on the other hand, perhaps in an attempt to assimilate us into American culture, didn`t do anything to pass on Mexican traditions to her children.

Race isn`t just a biological construct, it`s a cultural thing, and it`s with great pride that I will continue to identify as Latino.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump, Melania Trump and the Easter Bunny

“President Donald Trump delivered another of his classic campaign rally speeches from the White House this morning, boasting about the economy and his build-up of spending on the military, with a giant pink-eared bespectacled bunny at his side.

Trump`s address was his way of commemorating the 140th annual White House Easter Egg Roll – a tradition that dates back to 1878

“This is a special year. Our country is doing great. You look at the economy; you look at what`s happening,” Trump told the large gathering of children standing below him on the White House lawn.”

Deadline

President Donald Trump delivered a campaign style speech from a balcony in the White House, he was flanked on one side by Melania Trump (looking as if she was sucking on a lemon), and on the other by a giant bunny.

Melania`s default expression is glum, the parade of porn stars and Playboy bunnies claiming to have knocked boots with the president is taking its toll. Not that I feel sorry for the former model, if she had a shred of integrity she would kick her hubby to the curb.

The appearance of the bespectacled bunny at Trump`s side lends the appropriate Alice in Wonderland atmosphere to the occasion. As far as I`m concerned Trump should never deliver a speech without the presence of the bunny, considered that all that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth is tomfoolery, inaccuracies and flat-out lies.

Trump was speaking to a large gathering of children standing below him on the White House lawn. I`m sure the kids weren`t paying any attention to him, their minds were on Easter eggs.

If only we were as wise as children, and didn`t pay any attention to Trump when he delivers a speech.

Read More:

http://deadline.com/2018/04/donald-trump-easter-bunny-campaign-rally-speech-white-house-egg-roll-video-1202356792/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

On UFOs

For millenniums, humankind has reported seeing UFOs in every continent, nation and village. The belief in UFOs in as universal as the belief in a Supreme Being, but faith in extraterrestrials who have never been captured on video or a photograph isn`t quite as accepted as faith in an invisible deity.

Cave men drew paintings on caves that depicted flying saucers and extraterrestrials, their descendants left us beautiful oil paintings of flying objects and unearthly creatures, and our generation takes photographs and videos of mysterious spacecraft.

No scientist has proven or disproven the existence of God, and no astronomer or cosmologist has proven or disproven the existence of extraterrestrial intelligent life.

Christians and Muslims base their faith in their respective Holy Scriptures, and UFO true believers point to grainy photographs and out-of-focus videos of UFOs to bolster their faith.

On Easter Sunday Christians celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ as recorded in the Gospels, and ufologists harken back to Roswell as evidence that we have been visited by alien beings.

There are always miraculous healings and unexpected answers to prayers that believers cling to as an affirmation of their faith, and there are always news stories about UFOs that UFO believers cite as proof of the existence of extraterrestrials.

I have written many articles ridiculing UFO enthusiasts, but perhaps I should be more forgiving, if history teaches us anything, it`s that humankind needs to believe in something greater than ourselves, be it a Supreme Being or extraterrestrial beings.

Happy Easter and long live the memory of Roswell!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Declares April National Sexual Assault Awareness Month

“President Donald Trump issued a proclamation Friday designating April as National Sexual Assault Awareness month.

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, April has been Sexual Assault Awareness Month since 2001 in the United States. The move to issue a proclamation observing the month was first started by President Barack Obama in 2010, and the tradition has carried over into the Trump administration.

“Sexual assault crimes remain tragically common in our society, and offenders too often evade accountability. These heinous crimes are committed indiscriminately: in intimate relationships, in public spaces, and in the workplace,” the presidential proclamation from the White House states.

Over the past year, there has been a reckoning in the United States over sexual assault and harassment, particularly in the workplace, known as the #MeToo movement.”

CNN

This is not Fake News, an April Fools` Day joke or an SNL`s Weekend Update satirical report.

President Donald Trump really did issue a proclamation designating April as National Sexual Assault Awareness month.

Trump should demonstrate that he`s in on the joke by issuing a National Sexual Assault Awareness month poster depicting him wagging his finger with the caption: It`s Not Nice to Grab a Woman by the Pussy.

At least 19 women have accused Trump of inappropriate behavior ranging from sexual harassment and lewd behavior to sexual assault.

If Trump was serious about addressing this problem, that is endemic in our society, he would publicly apologize to these women.

But off course that will happen on the same day that Trump admits that he`s practically bald, and that he employs ten hairstylists to fix his elaborate combover from hell every morning.

Here`s a statement from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center on how we can mark National Sexual Assault Awareness month:

There are many ways to embrace one`s voice, from practicing or providing consent to speaking out against stereotypes or gender biases. This campaign will provide the tools and resources needed for individuals and communities to take actionable steps toward ending sexual violence once and for all. And it starts with recognizing the power of one`s voice.

We all have a unique role to play in prevention and changing the culture. When we reflect on and change how we think and talk about the issue of sexual violence and consent, we can create a culture of respect, equality, and safety. All of our voices have power. It`s time for everyone to find that voice and embrace it.

Read More:

https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/30/politics/donald-trump-national-sexual-assault-awareness-month/index.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Bullied Kid Adopts Kitty With Same Rare Eye Condition and Cleft Lip

“A 7-year-old boy who was bullied for the way he looks has adopted a cat with the same rare eye condition and cleft lip.
Madden Humphreys, from Oklahoma, was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, as well as different coloured eyes, known as heterochromia iridum.
His mother, Chriatina Humphreys, found out about a cat named Valentine who had the same conditions from birth.”
Independent

From an early age human beings ostracize, bully and ridicule anyone with a physical or mental defect, or anyone who is just quirky and don`t fit the mold.

This pack behavior in humans gives us a false sense of camaraderie, and as we torment the runt of the litter, we pray that people won`t discover a fault or defect in us that will focus their vitriol in our direction.

But animals are superior to humans in many ways, and a dog and even a cat will accept and love us for who we are, not what we look like.

The mother of this adorable little boy with different colored eyes traveled all the way from Oklahoma to Minnesota to adopt the cat who shares the same rare eye condition and cleft lip.

Madden and the kitten are inseparable, the little boy doesn`t feel so lonely anymore.

Children and pets are a great match, there`s a kitten or a puppy that will make the perfect match for your child at your local animal shelter.

Link to pictures and video of adorable little boy and cute as a button kitty:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/bullied-child-adopts-cat-same-eye-condition-cleft-lip-madden-humphreys-moon-oklahoma-a8279361.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

White Evangelicals Have Made Porn Kosher

“Conan O`Brien poked fun at President Donald Trump`s evangelical supporters over claims they are helping to bring porn into the mainstream on Tuesday.

The late-night comedian noted how some people were accusing evangelicals of normalizing porn due to their unwavering support of Trump, who allegedly had an affair with porn star Stormy Daniels in 2006.

`In response, evangelicals say: We`re in favor of any situation that makes people scream, `Oh, God,` O`Brien quipped.”

Huffington Post

White evangelical leaders have given President Donald Trump a mulligan over his sexual fling with porn star Stormy Daniels, thereby reducing watching porn to a venial sin, and giving born-again Christians a holy dispensation to watch porn.

If an evangelical mother catches her son watching the sexual acrobatics of Stormy on his cell phone, she`d better not say a damn word.

Conan O`Brien is spot-on, Trump`s evangelical supporters have brought porn into the mainstream.

White evangelical leaders and their followers engaged in a holy crusade to support Trump`s presidential candidacy even though he was caught on tape bragging about grabbing women by their genitals. No longer is it a sin to support a politician with dozens of credible accusations of sexual harassment against him.

White evangelical leaders supported pedophile Judge Roy Moore with a holy fervor, thereby bringing child molestation into the political mainstream. No longer can a senatorial candidate be dismissed out of hand simply because he trolled middle schools and high schools for young girls.

White evangelicals have given their tacit support for every kind of sexual sin under the sun, well maybe not every sexual sin. Had Moore been accused of molesting Boy Scouts, evangelicals would tear him limb from limb. And if Donald Trump was caught having sex with Mike Pence in the Lincoln Bedroom, evangelicals would demand that the sodomite be impeached.

It is imperative that the few evangelicals who haven`t sworn allegiance to the antichrist figure of Trump join other true Christians, and Americans of other faiths and no faith in denouncing Trump, and calling for his impeachment.

Read More:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/conan-obrien-donald-trump-porn-mainstream_us_5abb94cbe4b03e2a5c780222

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Why do Dogs Always Look So Guilty?

When I come home from work and find my curtains shredded or a hairball on my bed, I shoot an angry glance at my cats, but they don`t express any remorse, and look at me with total indifference.

But when I find my shoe torn to shreds my pooch, Mandy, looks as guilty as sin. Dogs would make horrible poker players, while felines would make a killing at the game.

Mandy looks guilty even when she hasn`t done anything wrong, guilt is their default expression.

We love canines because they are so transparently honest, they can`t get away with anything.

There are a gazillion and one videos on YouTube depicting dogs acting as guilty as hell:

Visit your local animal shelter, and you will fall in love with a guilty-looking puppy that you won`t be able to resist from adopting.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Would You Buy a Naked Donald Trump Statue for $20,000?

“A statue of a naked Donald Trump is going on the auction block.

Julien`s Auction says the sculpture is the last statue remaining that was not vandalized or destroyed when it was displayed along with others in New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Cleveland in the weeks before the Republican was elected president.

The auction house estimates the statue, which was created by the West Coast anarchist collective INDECLINE, will sell for $20,000 to $30,000.”

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

The anatomically-correct Donald Trump statues elicited shock, rage and disgust when they were erected in several cities around the United States in 2016. There was no security to protect the works of art, and needless to say they were an irresistible targets for vandals. There is an unconfirmed report that a toddler broke his baby tooth biting off the presidential pecker of one of the monstrosities. Only one Donald Trump statue has survived, relatively intact, and it has been put up for auction.

Donald Trump always travels with a Secret Service detail, he is the best protected politician in the world. But if the orange buffoon wasn`t surrounded by bodyguards, he would meet the same fate as his statues. An outraged citizenry would pluck his hair (one by one), tar and feather him, and ride him out of town on a rail.

Who would buy this abomination? A Satanist might find use for the statue in one of their rituals, but a regular person could park it on the porch for Halloween, and use it as a scarecrow for the rest of the year.

I wouldn`t buy the damn thing, the real Trump is already giving me enough nightmares.

Read More:

http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/naked-donald-trump-statue-going-up-for-auction/article_22849c66-e2d3-5eb3-ae66-a3d0ef272a85.html

Wanker Found Guilty of Hate Crime After Making Video of Dog Giving Nazi Salute

“A man who filmed a pet dog giving Nazi salutes before putting the footage on YouTube has been convicted of committing a hate crime.

Mark Meechan, 30, recorded his girlfriend`s pug, Buddha, responding to statements such as `gas the Jews` and `Sieg Heil` by raising its paw.

But police were alerted and he was arrested for allegedly committing a hate crime.

The original clip had been viewed more than three million times on YouTube.”

BBC

In America there is a fascist mindset, especially in academia, that considers not just Nazi ideology but any conservative viewpoint hate speech that shouldn`t be protected under the First Amendment.

I`m more liberal than conservative, but I believe that even controversial conservative or libertarian trolls like Milo Yiannopoulos and Ann Coulter have a constitutionally-protected right to lecture in universities.

I find it abhorrent when televangelists demonize gays, politicians sing the praises of the NRA, and pundits promulgate the lie that Donald Trump is a great president, but all of these views deserve to be heard in a university campus, where diversity of thought should be the default mode of education.

In the UK and Europe we see what happens when unpopular speech is branded as “hate speech” and is treated as a crime.

To post a video on YouTube depicting a dog responding to statements such as “gas the Jews” and “Seig Heil” by raising its paw in a Nazi salute, is ridiculous, abhorrent, disgusting, and incomprehensibly cruel to the victims of Hitler`s Germany, but it shouldn`t be a crime.

A democracy will survive a professional agitator like Milo speaking in a university, and it will survive dozens of racist videos posted on YouTube.

A democracy has really gone to the dogs when a wanker is convicted for posting a silly, but patently racist video.

Read More:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-43478925

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Moose the Snoring Pooch is an Internet Sensation

When a human snores he is oblivious to the racket hes making, and he sleeps like a baby while waking up everyone in the household. The only cure for snoring is duct tape for the snoring son of a gun, or earplugs for his longsuffering partner.

Click the link at the bottom of the page to see a sleeping pooch wake himself up with his gentle snoring.

Moose, a mutt who happens to be an emotional support animal, sleeps with his owner, and I doubt he has ever woke her up with his soft snoring.

Moose has a smile on his face as he sleeps next to his owner, and his owner, Alexis Waclawski, is also smiling.

Waclawski rescued Moose from the humane society, and he is registered as an emotional support animal to aid her with anxiety and depression. The dog underwent six weeks of training before he was certified as a therapy animal. But truth be told from the moment a puppy is born he is an unofficial emotional support animal.

My pooch, Mandy, would probably flunk obedience school, but she`s been an excellent emotional support pet for the last decade.

There is an emotional support puppy waiting for you at your local animal shelter, he will help you deal with the trials and tribulations of life. What are you waiting for? Adopt a puppy today!

Moose, the snoring pooch, has become an Internet sensation garnering over a million views. Check out his video:

http://www.toledoblade.com/local/2018/03/20/Snoring-dog-Rossford-resident-reach-millions-on-Twitter.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes