Is it Appropriate to Drink Coffee During a Church Service?

“A post by Pastor John Piper of Minnesota on Saturday, Sept. 30, has sparked a heated debate about the appropriateness of drinking coffee during Sunday church services.

‘Can we reassess whether Sunday coffee-sipping in the sanctuary fits?’ asked Piper on X, formerly known as Twitter.”


“Americans’ membership in houses of worship continued to decline last year, dropping below 50% for the first time in Gallup’s eight-decade trend. In 2020, 47% of Americans said they belonged to a church, synagogue or mosque, down from 50% in 2018 and 70% in 1999.”


The decline in evangelical church membership can be attributed in large part to evangelicals’ obsession with conspiracy theories and avoidance of the crucial issues of climate change, racism and the rights of sexual and religious minorities. Is it any wonder that Gen Zers are deserting the churches of their parents and grandparents?

Evangelicals fail to address the existential threats of our generation; they’d rather opine as to the appropriateness of drinking coffee during Sunday church services.

Let me put in my two cents worth, and declare that drinking coffee during a church service is appropriate and indeed necessary, for the following reasons:

Too many pastors are enamored with the sound of their own voices and they drone on and on, oblivious to the fact that many congregants are dozing off. A strong cup of joe is vital for keeping awake during a long church service.

Pastors not only take an offering during every church service, but they also plead for donations for various causes: church building fund, missionary support … It’s a nice when a church gives you something, even if it’s just a cup of Java, instead of constantly begging for support.

Most people associate drinking coffee with pleasant activities like enjoying a delicious breakfast or taking a coffee break during a tedious work day. Sipping coffee during a pastor’s sermon might improve peoples attitude toward attending a church service.

Bottom line: it’s always a good thing to drink coffee, anytime and anywhere.

Two Men Arrested for Being Black at Starbucks in Trump’s America

I avoid Starbucks like the plague, I prefer not to patronize an establishment that`s a magnet for slackers, wankers, hipsters and other assorted millennial riff-raff.

Starbucks is forced to sell a cup of coffee for a small fortune, because their clientele will nurse a cup of Java for hours while they take advantage of the free Wi-Fi.

I`d rather go to McDonalds and buy coffee at a reasonable price and not be surrounded by earbud-wearing zombies.

I doubt that a white customer has ever been arrested for trespassing for lingering too long over a cup of coffee, or for asking to use the restroom before ordering.

But all hell broke loose at a Philadelphia Starbucks when two young African American men had the temerity to ask to use the restroom before ordering an overpriced cup of coffee. You`d think they has requested to use the bathroom to sell crack.

The video of the outrageous incident has gone viral after it was shared on Twitter with a caption stating that two black men were arrested simply for waiting on a friend at the coffee chain outlet.

The men were waiting for a friend, who`s a real estate agent, to discuss a real estate deal. But the Starbucks employees see two young black men chatting, and they assume that they are discussing a drug deal, and they call 911.

Unless I see a black person commit a crime right before my eyes I wouldn`t call the cops, because I know that a person of color doesn`t have a good chance of surviving any interaction with the police.

The black gentlemen remained remarkably calm while being surround by cops, and they were handcuffed and perp-walked out of Starbucks.

It`s a shame that this type of racist incident happens with alarming regularity, but thank God they didn`t become another hashtag.

Link to video:

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Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino Sign of the End Times

“Starbucks` wildly popular Unicorn Frappuccino may have come and gone, but it lives on atop the head of one Canadian stylist`s satisfied customer.

Kelly Woodford, owner of the Sapphire Hair Lounge in Winnipeg, Canada, shared a short video on Instagram comparing the colors of a Unicorn Frappuccino to the colors she used to dye a customer`s hair.”


I am contemplating running for mayor of my city for the sole purpose of banning any Starbucks within city limits. Starbucks are a magnet for millennials, slackers and assorted riff-raff, it boggles the mind that they haven`t been targeted by jihadists or spree killers.

I love coffee, and I get my daily fix at a Waffle House, and it`s served by a waitress, not a freaking barista. Any millennial who works as a barista should be drowned in a vat of Unicorn Frappuccino.

The day that Starbucks started offering Unicorn Frappuccino in its dens of iniquity, is the day that I said to myself: The Apocalypse is right around the corner! Now that a hair stylist has used the Unicorn Frappuccino colors to style a customer`s hair, I`m researching bunkers online.

Pic of moron rocking Unicorn Frappuccino hairdo:

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