Donald Trump Will Never Replace Bobble-Head Doll Mike Pence With Nikki Haley

“President Donald Trump said Sunday he was very happy with Vice President Mike Penceand planned to keep him as his running mate in the 2020 election.”

Trump judges the worthiness of a person solely on his loyalty to him, and Pence is the perfect second-in-command, he’s loyal, deferential and obsequious.

Whenever Trump makes an important announcement, Pence is placed behind him to serve as a bobble-head doll. The VP bobs his head up and down as he stares adoringly at his better half.

A bobble-head doll’s head is oversized compared to its body, but its huge head doesn’t indicate the presence of a big brain, indeed a bobble-head doll is synonymous with a blockhead idiot.

In political circles Pence may be referred to as a bobble-head doll, but everyday folks are more likely to use the street vernacular, chicken-head. According to the Urban Dictionary, a chicken-head is a woman who likes giving head, bopping up and down like a chicken.

Any way you slice it, Pence is Trump’s bitch, and just like a chicken-head will never get a sore neck from servicing her man, the VP will never tire of nodding his fool head of regardless what obscenity or absurdity emanates from the president’s sphincter-shaped mouth.

Pence doesn’t have to worry about Trump replacing him with Nikki Haley or anyone else, at least as long as he’s never cured from bobble-head doll syndrome.

Donald Trump and Melania Trump Posed with a Thumbs-Up Next to Baby Orphaned in El Paso Massacre

First Lady Melania Trump posted a photograph of the trip she made with President Donald Trump to visit shooting victims at University Medical Center in El Paso, Texas, depicting her holding an Hispanic baby who was orphaned as a result of the massacre.

This image didn’t have the intended effect of portraying the Trumps as a caring and empathetic couple who love all of God’s children be, they white, black, yellow or brown.

This was a somber occasion that shouldn’t have elicited any smiles or a thumbs-up sign, nevertheless Melania and her husband are staring at the camera and smiling, and Donald is brandishing his pathetic little thumbs-up sign.

There is no maternal look in Melania’s eyes, and she doesn’t even deign to look in the direction of the hapless infant. After all, he’s just a prop, a disgusting and dirty Latino baby, a criminal and rapist in the making.

The mother shielded her baby in her arms as she was shot, saving his life but sacrificing her own. The father was killed as he attempted to jump in front of his wife to protect her.

The parents died to protect their child from a racist mass killer, it’s a shame that the baby’s uncle stood next to the president in the infamous photo, utterly failing to protect his nephew from being exploited by a racist president.

Even the most loyal Trump supporter should think twice of voting for him in 2020, after looking at this despicable image.

Pic of troubling photograph:

Joe Biden is Old! Very Old! Too Old

Joe Biden is old. Very old. He looks old, and he acts old. His hair plugs and dentures are preternaturally white, and as natural looking as your grandma’s blue hair. His rictus grin wouldn’t be out of place in a slasher movie, it scares the bejesus out of voters, young and old.

Old men fall in to two camps, the harmless-looking and the creepy-looking, Biden is the quintessential creepy old codger. When Biden inappropriately touches a young woman, you cringe and pray that her soul wont’ be permanently defiled.

Biden would be 78 by the time he assumed office if elected next fall, making him the oldest first-term president in history. Donald Trump has proven that a septuagenarian doesn’t have the mental acuity or the physical stamina to be the Leader of the Free World. Are we really going to make the fatal mistake of replacing a 70-something racist with an almost 80-year old political hack with a penchant for groping young women and prepubescent girls?

Sen. Bernie Sanders is even older, he’d be 79 in January of 2021. Trump, Sanders and Biden belong in a convalescent home, not the White House.

Call me ageist if you will, but we don’t need another old white man in the Oval Office, especially when there are so many attractive young men and women running for president.

I’m sick and tired of Joe Biden and his gaffes, inappropriate touching, and out-of-touch moderate political policies.

I come to bury Biden, not to praise him, condone his moderate politics, or excuse his inappropriate fondling of young girls. It would be unforgivable if Democrats elect him as their presidential nominee

Stop Gun Violence! Stop Offering Thoughts and Prayers!

Whenever there’s a mass shooting so-called “people of faith”, who hold a tighter grip on their guns than they do on their prayer beads and Bibles, litter social media with thoughts and prayers.

These thoughts and prayers are as efficacious in preventing gun violence and ameliorating its devastating consequences as a gun that emits a flag saying “BANG” when the trigger is pulled is at stopping a burglar who has broken into your home.

Faith without works is dead and offering vacuous thoughts and prayers after a massacre is an affront and an insult to the victims and to everyone who lives in fear of gun violence.

A million thoughts and prayers on Twitter aren’t worth a hill of beans, and they don’t reach heaven or even the power brokers in D.C.

With all due respect, people of faith can stuff their thoughts and prayers where the sun don’t shine. If they were serious about stopping gun violence, and if they really cared about the victims, they would weaponize their thoughts and prayers by taking on the NRA and demanding that lawmakers ban military-style firearms.

If I’m the victim of gun violence and a person offers me his thoughts and prayers I would respond as if he had intentionally farted in my face.

If we ban the phrase “thoughts and prayers” from the lexicon, religion and our democracy would be better off.

Donald Trump’s Post-Presidency Will Be Even More Pathetic Than His Presidency

Some presidents, like Andrew Jackson and Richard Nixon, were so unethical, amoral, incompetent and racist that they diminished the office of the presidency. Donald trump is so amoral, racist, ignorant, incompetent and buffoonish that he’s not only diminished the office of the presidency, but democracy itself.

Trump’s post-presidency, even if it doesn’t mercifully end in impeachment, will be more pathetic than his presidency. Trump’s staff describe the president in glowing terms, but as soon as they leave the White House, either via resignation or termination, they eviscerate him in their speeches, interviews and memoirs. When Trump leaves office, he won’t be able to go online, turn on the TV or read a newspaper without witnessing former administration officials denouncing his legacy.

His presidential library, if such an abomination is ever built, won’t contain great speeches, presidential papers, or testimonials from world leaders lauding his administration, but it will include a collection of his tweets chronicling his racism, ignorance, homophobia, misogyny and stupidity.

His memoir, if he can find a desperate ghostwriter to write it, will be so chock full of lies that no one will buy a copy. Within weeks after publication it will be in the bargain bin at Barnes & Noble with the biographies of Alex Jones and Sean Hannity.

Trump loves to name buildings after himself, but in his post-presidency he won’t see many, if any, schools, public building, libraries or streets named after him. We will be relieved to have survived our national nightmare and won’t desire to see any reminders that we actually voted for the national disgrace.

After retiring from public service Trump will be a recluse at Mar-a-Lago, a lonely bachelor abandoned by his trophy wife, with only Secret Service agents, resentful undocumented employees and prostitutes for company.

Democrats Should Brand Trump as a Racist

Donald Trump considers himself a branding expert, and when you couple that with the fact that he’s a megalomaniac, it’s not surprising he put his name on most of his properties and products from water to vodka and a fake university to a fake charitable foundation.

Trump-branded properties and products actually had prestige before he ran for president and exposed himself as a racist buffoon who bankrupted several companies even though he inherited billions from his father.

Trump is an expert at branding his political opponents: Low energy Jeb Bush, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Little Marco, Crooked Hillary, Sleepy Joe Biden, Crazy Bernie Sanders …
Throughout his career as a real estate magnate, and a Reality TV star, Trump’s words and actions have led people to wonder if he’s a racist.

But since the day he announced he was running for president and throughout his tenure his rhetoric and policies have exposed him as an unvarnished blatant dye-in-the-wool racist. No one has any doubts anymore, and everyone from pundits to politicians to regular folks are calling him a racist.

Following a month in which Trump used racist tropes to attack four congresswomen of color, and disparaged a majority-black Baltimore district as a “rat and rodent infested mess”, many people are now calling him a white supremacist and a white nationalist. Even some of the Democratic presidential hopefuls like Beto O-Rourke and Sen. Elizabeth Warren have called him a white supremacist.

Trump could be credibly branded as Lyin’ Trump, Idiot Trump or Alzheimer’s A-hole, but nothing fits quite like Racist Trump. Every stump speech by a Democrat running for president and every political commercial should include the phrase, racist Trump.

Andrew Yang Calls Donald Trump a ‘Fat Slob’

“Andrew Yang on Saturday tore into Donald Trump, calling him fat and a slob who cheats at golf, challenged him to a push-up contest and said America would love to see the president pass out trying to run a mile.”

Daily Mail

Andrew Yang is one of the asterisk Democratic presidential candidates; he’s best known for the Freedom Dividend, a universal monthly basic income of 1,000 for every American over 18. Who doesn’t love free money? If Yang also guarantees a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage, and a stash of weed for every voter, he might just win.

In the age of Trump Yang needed to prove that he can dish out insults with the best (worst?) of them, therefore he called the president a fat slob who cheats at golf.

Calling Trump a “fat slob” is an insult that will stick like mud to a pig. With his double chin, protruding belly, and sweaty face the stable genius should be called a “fat slob” at least as often as he’s called a racist, buffoon or fucking moron.

Trump frequently insinuates that Joe Biden doesn’t have the mental acuity and stamina, but I doubt the obese bigot can run a 50-yard dash, let alone a mile. Indeed, America would love to see the portly politician pass out trying to run a mile.

Yang’s signature line is: the opposite of Donald Trump is an Asian man who likes math. I don’t doubt that Yang excels at math, but if he wants to beat Trump, he must become a master of the insult. It looks like Yang is a quick study, and I hope he beats the fat slob.

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Bill Maher Owns Donald Trump on Twitter

Donald Trump is on the job 24/7 monitoring broadcast TV, cable and social media, and whenever anyone dares criticize him, whether it’s the Mooch or Maher, he instantly counterpunches on Twitter.

On Friday night’s edition of his HBO show, Bill Maher cracked this joke relating to Trump’s trip to El Paso to visit the inured from the mass shooting that left 22 dead and dozens injured:

“None of the eight patients in the El Paso hospital would agree to meet with Trump, isn’t that something? They were all asked would you like to meet the president, they all said, I’ll Paso.”

Before you could say, “Trump is a racist” he tweeted that the Real Time host is a “Wacko comedian” who tells “so many lies.” “Got to see, by accident, wacko comedian Bill Hamer’s show – So many lies.”

How the hell do you watch a show “by accident?” Trump reminds me of a mother who confronts her 11-year-old son for watching porn online:

Mom: I reviewed your browsing history, and I noticed that you saw a video with the catchy title, “Big-Boobed Bisexual Bimbos Battle Lusty Lesbians from Lesbos.” I’ve explained that you’re too young to watch pornography, so what do you have to say in defense of yourself young man?

Tommy: Mom, I saw that video by accident! I swear! I was doing research online for my homework assignment on bilingual education when that video just popped up out of nowhere.

Trump was once again projecting, he’s the wacko comedian who tells so many lies. I believe in the multiverse interpretation of Quantum Mechanics, and in every other universe Trump is a stand-up comic, carnival barker, televangelist or corrupt real estate developer, ours in the only universe in which he’s the Leader of the Free World.

God, please someone please unplug this simulation!

Even Disgraced Cyclist Lance Armstrong Can’t Stand Mike Pence

Disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong disappeared from the national consciousness after he was stripped of all his achievements in 2021, including his seven Tour de France victories.

But the 47-year-old Texan still rides his bicycle for fun, and he occasionally tweets. Yesterday he tweeted:

“I can’t drop many people on a bike these days but I just blew the fuckin’ doors off Mike Pence on a Nantucket bike path. Day. Made.”

Armstrong had a testicle surgically removed in 1996 due to testicular cancer, but he still has more balls than Pence. You will never hear the vice president offer even mild rebuke to the most corrupt, racist and willfully ignorant president in history.

The retired athlete may be thoroughly disgraced, but at least he recognizes that Trump and his lackey Pence are deserving of ridicule and criticism.

Armstrong may very well have been telling the truth, because Pence was in Nantucket on Saturday for a fundraiser for the Republican National Committee.

I hope I never run into Pence on a bike path, I might be tempted to crash into him on purpose.

Donald Trump Sweats Like a Pig! Disgusting!

Filthy Pig

In 1984 the Gillette Company launched a new series of TV commercials for Dry Idea antiperspirants that introduced one of the most famous ad slogans of all time:

“Never let them see you sweat”

The ad campaign featured celebrities explaining that success in their profession meant never letting them see you sweat. Fashion designer Donna Karan, actress Lauren Hutton and football coach Dan Reeves were some of the celebs that starred in these commercials.

Real estate developer Donald Trump never appeared in these ads, he was never the cool and suave type even when he was decades younger and many pounds lighter.

Trump is now the President of the United States, and a septuagenarian horizontally-challenged buffoon who sweats like a pig, and he could use a crate of Dry Idea antiperspirants.

The stable genius may be a climate change denier, but he doesn’t hold up very well under the effects of global warming. It’s been a blistering summer in D.C. and every time Trump appears outside, he’s sweating like a pig.

Actually, pigs have very few sweat glands, and they cool down by wallowing in the mud. Either way Trump is just like a pig: He sweats like a pig and wallows in the mud like a pig.

I know I’m not the only who prays that the fucking moron will suffer a stroke or a heart attack when I see him sweating profusely. Trump’s sycophants claim that his shit doesn’t stink and that he sweats holy water.

Please don’t click on link if you are about to eat a meal!

Pics of Trump sweating like a pig: