Lawrence O’Donnel’s Epic Off-air Rant! MSNBC Should Have Him Committed to an Asylum

“MSNBC`s Lawrence O`Donnell has apologized for his off-air outbursts during his Aug. 29 broadcast of The Last Word.

In an apology posted to Twitter, the Last Word host expressed remorse following the viral footage – which Mediaite obtained and posted Wednesday afternoon.

`A better anchorman and a better person would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties,` O`Donnell said. `I`m sorry.`”

Lawrence O`Donnell`s apology for his crazy outbursts during his August 29 broadcast of The Last Word is the understatement of the year.

In the obscenity-laden rant, O`Donnell gesticulates like a patient off his medication, bangs on his desk like a drummer on crack, and curses like a drunken sailor.

“There`s insanity in the control room tonight,” O`Donnell screams. The only insanity is behind the anchor desk; the prima donna goes freaking nuts over technical difficulties.

“A better anchorman and a better person would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties,” no shi*! Donald Trump would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties, right after his wife turned down his request for sex because “an hour to cleanse myself after 60 seconds of sex with you isn`t worth the effort.”

O`Donnell`s off-air outburst is eerily reminiscent of Bill O`Reilly`s classic off-air freakout. O`Donnell is a liberal and O`Reilly is a conservative, but they are both blowhards who treat their subordinates like dirt.

Link to O`Reilly`s breakdown:

O`Donnell owes his staff and viewers a public apology on his show. I will boycott O`Donnell`s program until he apologizes for his unhinged behavior.

Link to video of O`Donnell`s off-air mental breakdown:

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Wanker Launching Line of Fanny Packs Featuring Images of Hairy Bellies

“A London-based artist is seeking help launching a line of fanny packs featuring images of pudgy, hairy bellies.

The `Dadbag` promises the wearer convenient travel storage as well as an instant “dad bod” in six different styles.”


Some fashion fads like cameltoe-enhancing vinyl jumpsuits, bellbottom pants, wide-collar shirts, platform shoes, and above else fanny packs should be left in the dustbin of history.

If I ever pen my autobiography I will leave out the fact that I rocked fanny packs in the 90`s.

A London-based artist/wanker is attempting to bring back fanny packs – surely a sign that Armageddon is right around the corner.

If you revive a fashion accessory from a bygone era, at least update it for the current generation. For example if you bring back the tight-fitting vinyl jumpsuit it should be emblazoned with the slogan: Real Women Sport Cameltoes!

But this British twit is making the fanny pack even worse by featuring images of pudgy, hairy bellies.

This insane fashionista is considering crowdsourcing his project. For the love of God I beseech a Londoner to buy a fanny pack at a thrift store, fill it with rocks, and administer the creator Albert Pukies a good solid bashing.

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Donald Trump Jr. Wants to Give Up Secret Service Protection! Why Can’t His Idiot Dad Do the Same?

“Donald Trump Jr. has asked to be removed from Secret Service protection, telling friends he wants more privacy, according to two people briefed on the decision.

It`s a rare move for a member of the president`s family to forgo a security detail, in part because adult children are counseled by the Secret Service that they are quickly seen as targets for those railing against their famous parents.

One close friend of the president`s son said Trump Jr. has been talking for weeks about waiving the 24-hour protection that Secret Service agents provide him, his wife and their five children. But it was unclear Monday night whether he had requested his wife and children be dropped from protection. Secret Service spokeswoman Catherine Milhoan declined to comment on whether Trump Jr. and his family were no longer receiving protection.”

Washington Post

During his first seven months in the White House, Donald Trump has taken seven trips to Mar-a-Lago, five to his golf resort in New Jersey; and one to Trump Tower in Manhattan.

Earlier this year, Junior`s business travel to Uruguay cost the Secret Service nearly $100,000, and that was just for hotel rooms. Which begs the question, does he travel with a harem of bimbos?

Donald Trump`s weekly trips to his resorts, and the business and vacation trips of his sons and daughters are bankrupting the Secret Service.

I don`t know what prompted Trump Jr. to request that he be removed from Secret Service protection, but I hope his father and his siblings follow his example before they bankrupt the federal government.

I`m not saying I want Trump to be assassinated, but the prospect of Trump traveling sans Secret Service protection fills my heart with joy and hope for the future of our great democracy.

Let me make it abundantly clear, I`m not advocating for the assassination of Trump, and anybody who makes threats against the president should be prosecuted.

However, I hope and pray that a solid citizen will lie to Trump and tell him that Kim Jong-un doesn`t have any bodyguards. That would be enough for Trump to try to out-macho the Korean dictator and compel him to dismiss his Security detail.

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Donald Trump, Twitter and the End of the World

Outrage is the coin of the realm on social media, especially Twitter. Trump has a volcanic nature and his default mode is outrage, therefore Twitter is the perfect platform for him to publish his insane proclamations.

Many presidents have occasionally used the editorial pages of the New York Times or the Washington Post to communicate with the American public. But Trump`s grammar is unfit for a middle school newspaper, let alone a prestigious publication like The New York Times, fortunately there are no grammar rules per se on Twitter, and he can vent to his illiterate heart`s content on the social media site.

I sometimes wax apoplectic on Twitter and nobody bats an eye, because that`s just how people roll on Twitter.

Even though Trump is the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World we shrug when he spouts nonsense on Twitter. Nothing to see her folks, it`s just our Buffoon-in-Chief talking smack on his favorite social media platform.

Trump could tweet that Kim Jong-un the Rocket Man and Crooked Hillary should ride a nuclear-tipped missile shaped like a dildo and crash into a deserted island and we would take it in stride, after all Trump has been twitting crazy shi* for years.

If Trump tweeted “crazy fundies are right and September 23, 2017 is really the end of the world and imma gonna grab me as much pussy as I can before then!,” I would think to myself what kind of a fuc*ed up world do we live in, I always thought the end of the world would be announced by heavenly trumpets, not by a stupid Trump tweet.

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Donald Trump Re-tweets Golf Ball Hit on Hillary Clinton

“On the eve of a critical week of foreign policy challenges, Donald Trump started his Sunday by retweeting an edited video of him hitting a golf ball into Hillary Clintons back — and her falling over from the impact.

That message — a trollish attempt at humor with overtones of violence against women — went out to Trump`s 38.5 million Twitter followers and turned a Sunday expected to be focused on the President`s preparations for the United Nations General Assembly meetings this week into a now-familiar White House circus.”


Granted Hillary Clinton is the most unlikable politician in the modern political era, and if she was hit hit by a golf ball causing her to fall over from the impact she would not be inundated with Get Well cards.

In fact I hope she is conked in the head by a golf ball, but the only injury she will suffer is a total amnesia of the 2016 presidential election. I`m sure I`m not the only one who is sick and tired of her and Trump continuously rehashing the election.

However a man with a history of misogynistic behavior and making crude jokes at the expense of women should refrain from retweeting a video with overtones of violence against women.

We shouldn`t let Trump get away with anti-women antics even when the targets of his venom are vile and reprehensible creatures like Rosie O`Donnell and Hillary Clinton.

Trump will always be Trump, which means he will always act like a pig, but we must never stop condemning him for his unacceptable behavior.

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Mother! the Worst Film in the History of Cinema!

My coworker has been trying to persuade me for months to stream or download movies from a torrent site, but I always countered that it was copyright infringement, and that downloading films from a torrent site was an excellent way of contracting a virus.

But the other night I couldn`t find a straight-to-video flick on Netflix that looked interesting, so I made the fateful, or should I say fatal, decision to watch Mother! on a popular torrent site. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, now I know what they mean by “curiosity killed the cat.”

Little did I know that not only was I exposing my computer to malware, but I was also exposing my soul to eternal damnation.

Mother! is the worst movie in the history of cinema. The running time of this execrable mess is 121 minutes, but it will take you 121 years of therapy to recover from watching it.

The writer and director Darren Aronofsky should be banned from Hollywood for life, and forced to live in a conservative community where a work like Mother! Is viewed as sacrilegious trash.

The star of Mother! And Aronofsky`s girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence should endure all the indignities and torments that her character suffered a hundredfold in real life.

After I viewed Mother! I took a long bath, but I still felt defiled and dirty. If only I had the courage to pluck out my eyes and pierce my eardrums with a knitting needle.

This is perhaps the most consequential essay I have ever written, if you value your sanity and spirituality I beseech you, for God`s sake don`t watch this abomination.

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11-Year-Old Who Cut White House Lawn is a Stooge Who’s Trying to Humanize a Monster

“President Donald Trump has taken up an offer from an 11-year-old in Virginia to help cut the White House grass.

`Frank from Falls Church, Va.,` was helping the grounds crew cut the Rose Garden grass on Friday, according to press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. On Friday, she shared an image of him pushing a lawn mower next to the West Colonnade.

Frank Giaccio was so focused on pushing the lawn mower, he didn`t notice Trump had emerged to greet him until the president was next to him in the Rose Garden. Frank got a high-five from the president, who called him `the future of the country.`

Last month, Sanders read a letter from the boy in which he wrote that he admires the president`s business background and has started his own neighborhood lawn care business.”

NBC News

Trump supporters tout Frank Giaccio, who goes by the nickname `FX`, as the embodiment of entrepreneurship and hard work that made America Great, but the rest of us view him as a willing stooge who is trying to humanize a monster.

FX waived his usual fee of eight dollars, figuring that the publicity will expand his business to the point where he can cut grass fulltime, and drop out of middle school.

Trump has a sad history of stiffing contractors, I doubt he would have paid him anything anyway. The young landscaper probably left the White House with only a “Make America Great Again” hat and a signed glossy photograph of The Donald.

FX hails from Falls Church, Virginia, a wealthy suburb of Washington with the lowest level of poverty of any independent city or county in the United States.

The little creep may be a hero in his affluent hometown, but in real America he is anathema.

The president called FX “the future of our country,” if that`s true our great democracy is doomed.

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Candice Bergen’s Disastrous Date With Donald Trump

“Candice Bergen recalled the dud of a date she went on with future President Donald Trump back in college, and admitted his dedication to color coordination just didn`t do it for her.

`He did (pick me up). He was wearing a three-piece burgundy suit and burgundy patent leather loafers and a burgundy limousine,` she said Wednesday on `Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen.` `There was no physical contact whatsoever.`

The 71-year-old `Murphy Brown` actress, who was 18 and attending the University of Pennsylvania at the time, admitted that while Trump was a good-looking guy, he was also a douche.”

The New York Daily News

Candice Bergen survived her traumatic date with Donald Trump, and went on to become a top fashion model and an award-winning actress.

If Bergen is anything at all like the sharp-tongued and hard as nails Murphy Brown (her most famous role), I`m not surprised that she dismissed The Donald after only one date.

Thank goodness Trump seems to have gotten over his fetish for color coordination, if he wore an orange suit and orange loafers to coordinate with his orange face he would look like a clown.

Bergen reminisced about her date from hell with Trump while sporting a “Free Melania” sweater. Wearing a sweater with a slogan is a fashion faux pas that no fashion model should ever make, but I agree with the sentiments.

Bergen`s date with Trump left her with the impression that he was a douche, fortunately we don`t need to date him, or even have a couple of beers with him to deduce that he`s a douche, a clown, and a racist.

Bergen`s date with Trump lasted only a couple of hours, and Trump`s term in office shouldn`t last more than a couple of years, we should impeach the douche.

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Video of Chainsaw-Wielding Nun, Sister Margaret Ann, Becomes Symbol of Irma Recovery

“The cleanup after Hurricane Irma is a massive undertaking, after the destructive storm hit Florida and neighboring states over the weekend. In Miami, a nun chipped in to clear trees in her neighborhood – and no one, it seems, can resist a story about a chainsaw-wielding nun.

Sister Margaret Ann was spotted at work by an off-duty officer of the Miami-Dade Police Department, which posted video and images from the scene in the community of Kendall West Tuesday.

The department calls the sister`s work another sign that Miami`s community will work together to repair what Irma broke, writing on its Facebook page, “Thank you Sister and all of our neighbors that are working together to get through this!”


I was raised Catholic, and as a child I attended catechism classes, the memory of ruler-brandishing nuns terrorizing their young charges is indelibly etched in my mind.

Had I seen a chainsaw-wielding nun as a child I would have required lifelong therapy.

I imagine sisters as sadistic creatures who indulge in meaningless religious rituals like clutching rosary beads and lighting votive candles.

But Sister Margaret Ann breaks all the stereotypes, she`s a no-nonsense principal of Archbishop Coleman F. Carroll High School, and she`s loved and respected by the students.

When the shi* hit the fan and Hurricane Irma wreaked devastation in her neighborhood, the good sister didn`t retreat to her prayer closet and recite a hundred Hail Marys.

Homegirl grabbed a chainsaw and cleared the trees in her neighborhood. The video of the nun dressed in her habit, using a chainsaw to cut downed trees into smaller parts so they could be removed from roadways after Hurricane Irma swept through the area has gone viral.

An image of a butt-naked Kim Kardashian failed to break the Internet, but the video of Sister Margaret Ann serving God and her community by clearing trees has gone viral.

Perhaps there`s hope for humankind after all.

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Ted Cruz Loves Porn, I Mean Homeboy Really Loves His Porn

“Sen. Ted Cruz woke up Tuesday to find his name trending on Twitter – linked overnight to a certain video from the Milf Hunter series, perhaps unfairly, perhaps irrevocably.

The clip itself is just over two minutes, details of its contents mostly unprintable. It features a sectional sofa, the pornographic actress Cory Chase, her fictitious nude stepdaughter, and a very energetic young man.

But around midnight Eastern time, someone signed into the senator`s official Twitter account and clicked a little heart below the video – and thus did @tedcruz `like` porn.

By late morning, reporters were waiting outside the U.S. Capitol to question the flesh-and-blood Cruz about his online alias`s handiwork, which he disavowed.

`It was a staffing issue and it was inadvertent,` the senator said. `it was a mistake.`”

The Washington Post

Instead of manning up the “family values” politician threw a staffer under the bus. Cruz didn`t want to ruin his reputation of being a pro family values Christian.

How much of a prig is the junior senator from Texas?

When Cruz was the solicitor general of Texas he defended a Texas state law banning the sale of sex toys, arguing in a 2007 court brief that individuals have no legal right to use them, even in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

Like most moralistic politicians Cruz believes that the Federal government shouldn`t interfere in an individual`s personal life, except when it comes to sex.

The Texas law was unconstitutional and anti-women, since almost all sex toys are made for the enjoyment of women. Cruz couldn`t abide the thought that a woman could reach ecstasy without the help of a man.

Let`s stipulate that it wasn`t a staffer but Cruz himself who liked the porn clip. Since everybody hates Cruz, even his own family, (there are several videos on YouTube depicting his daughters turning away in disgust when he was trying to kiss them), I`m sure everybody will agree with my conclusion.

The pertinent question is why would Cruz like a porn video on his Twitter account knowing full well that the press would demand an explanation.

This is the likely scenario:

In the witching hour Cruz recites his nightly prayers, and then as is his custom, surfs the Internet for porn.

He finds the perfect video for his enjoyment: A buxom young lady comes home and finds her nude stepdaughter having sexual intercourse with a young man, and naturally secretly watches the action while masturbating.

In the throes of climax Cruz likes the video, the experience is so intense that he forgets that he liked the video, and doesn`t delete it until a few hours later.

Forgive me dear readers if you are throwing up at this point, but I am only fulfilling my journalistic duty by reporting the truth (as I see it).

While you are writing me a nasty email for leaving you with a scene that you will not soon forget, I will take a much needed shower.

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