I Hope the Handshake Falls Victim to the Coronavirus. It’s a Filthy and Disgusting Ritual!

We are in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. People all over the world are falling sick. They are dying. It’s imperative that we practice social distancing for the duration of the pandemic, for our own health and to protect the health of friends and neighbors, and especially those most susceptible to this novel virus: the elderly and those with underlying conditions like high blood pressure, asthma, cancer or diabetes.

Social distancing means avoiding any place where people congregate: churches, sporting events, music concerts, restaurants, bars …

As a proud misanthrope I’ve been practicing social distancing for decades; I prefer my own company and don’t need the validation of a peer group. But in the age of the coronavirus even gregarious and outgoing people need to cocoon, stay home and binge on Netflix.

Social distancing also means staying at least six feet away from other people, that’s the distance that a droplet travels when someone sneezes or coughs.

Social distancing most definitely means NO HANDSHAKES. Handshakes spread not only the coronavirus, but any number of microbial pathogens. Handshaking is a filthy and disgusting ritual, and I pray that it will fall victim to the coronavirus.

Fist bumps and high fives spread fewer germs than handshakes, and a namaste doesn’t spread any germs. A namaste greeting is performed by pressing the palms of the hands together. The fingers are together with fingertips pointing up. The hands are pressed together firmly and evenly. (Description from Wikipedia).

Pre coronavirus I shook hands only when it was a social necessity, and now I refuse to shake hands with anyone. In fact, if someone offers to shake my hands, I look at them as if they are a leper.

Cool Cat High Fives and Fist Bumps His Owner: Video

My pooch, Mandy, is very eager to please, and with a minimum of effort I might succeed in teaching her a few tricks, but truth be told, I`m too lazy and she`s too stupid. The only trick she`s mastered is to come running when I call her to dinner.

My cats, Tico and Ebony, have learned a lot of tricks on their own, they`ve become versed on opening kitchen cabinets in search of treats, and they got the knack of jumping on my remote control to change the channel when I`m watching a program that doesn`t align with their aesthetic sensibilities.

But they would never deign to learn a trick that would make me look good in front of my friends and family, like rolling over, playing dead or shaking my hand.

Here`s a cool cat who`s learned how to high five and fist bump, most human beings can`t high five or fist bump without looking like spastic nerds.

If I showed this video to my felines on my cellphone they would probably cough up a hairball on it, they don`t cotton to obsequious cats.

Poland’s First Lady Refuses to Shake Hands With Donald Trump

“Donald Trump has only been in office for six months, but he already has a streak of awkward handshakes-or in this case, snubs-with world leaders. As the president and First Lady were greeting the Polish President Andrzej Duda and his wife, Agata Kornhauser-Duda, in Poland on Thursday, Kornhauser-Duda appeared to pass over the president and instead shook Melania Trump`s hand.

The video, which quickly went viral, shows the president turning toward Kornhauser-Duda for a handshake as she swiftly walks by him. Trump looks bewildered at this apparent rejection. (She did, later, shake the president`s hand after all.)”

Vanity Fair

Whenever Donald Trump meets a foreign dignitary you can count on two things: He will babble incoherently and he will botch the handshake. Is it any wonder that foreign leaders will do anything to avoid shaking hands with the idiot?

The Polish president`s wife was looking straight ahead at Melania when Trump offered to shake her hand, it wouldn`t be surprising if she failed to see his deformed little hand in her peripheral vision, but I think the slight was intentional.

Why would any civilized person want to shake Trump`s hands, God only knows what part of Putin`s body his diminutive hands were intimately caressing.

I might fist bump with Trump, but I would never shake hands with him. In fact, I`d rather punch his ugly orange face, even if it means that the Secret Service would riddle me with bullets, rather than shake hands with him.

Link to video: http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/07/first-lady-of-poland-avoided-donald-trump-handshake

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