Author: robertpaulreyes

Twitter Has No Intentions of Banning Donald Trump

“Some Twitter users have called, repeatedly, for the social network to block President Trump’s account — but a new statement from Twitter essentially says that is not going to happen.

Twitter has previously responded to complaints about Trump’s account by saying that certain users’ tweets have a “newsworthiness” value that makes it important to stay online and inform the network’s global conversation. Its Friday statement expanded on that idea, though this latest explanation did not mention Trump by name.

“Elected world leaders play a critical role in that conversation because of their outsized impact on our society,” the post said. “Blocking a world leader from Twitter or removing their controversial tweets would hide important information people should be able to see and debate. It would also not silence that leader, but it would certainly hamper necessary discussion around their words and actions.”

Washington Post

There is no question that President Donald Trump’s tweets violate Twitter’s terms of service, and if he was a retired trucker firing off toxic tweets from his trailer home, instead of the Leader of the Free World he would have been permanently banned from the social media behemoth.

Every time Trump posts under vulgar and nasty tweet, especially one that might trigger a dictator to fire the first salvo of World War III, it’s tempting to demand that Twitter to block Trump’s account.

But Trump’s tweets are inherently newsworthy, not because they are pearls of wisdom, but by virtue of the fact that he’s the president of the United States.

It may not be a pleasant experience to read Trump’s stream of consciousness flatulence, but it gives us a window into his demented and devious mind.

Twitter has no intentions of blocking their most famous subscriber, they issued the flowing statement:

Blocking a world leader from Twitter or removing their controversial Tweets would hide important information people should be able to see and debate. It would also not silence that leader, but it would certainly hamper necessary discussion around their words and actions. 

We shouldn’t expend our energy attempting to convince social media giants to block Trump, we should be exercising every fire of our being attempting to impeach him.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2018/01/05/twitter-explains-why-it-wont-block-world-leaders-without-naming-trump/?utm_term=.98354c3d17a3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump ‘Pictured Xi Jinping as a Woman’ to Help Pronounce His Name Before 2017 Summit

Michael Wolff’s expose of the Trump administration includes many explosive revelations, including Steve Bannon’s description of the Trump Tower meeting between Donald Trump Jr and a group of Russians during the 2016 election campaign as treasonous and unpatriotic.

Everything about this book speaks to the incompetency of the Trump administration, in the first place why would Trump and his aides grant a reporter with a reputation for doing hatchet jobs on the rich and famous unfettered access to the White House? That’s like hiring a convicted embezzler as a loan office at a bank, or a convicted pedophile as a kindergarten teacher.

Trump’s reaction to the book couldn’t have been more unpresidential and incompetent, the president’s lawyer sent a letter to the author and publisher demanding that they “cease and desist” from publishing the expose. Thereby ensuring that “Fire and Fury” will become the best-selling book of the year, who won’t want to read a book that the president wants to ban?

Trump’s legal action also exposes him as a thin-skinned narcissist, and as an autocrat who will go to extreme means to stifle dissent and criticism.

There are hundreds of essays being written dissecting the most explosive quotations from “Fire and Fury”, I want to highlight this nugget concerning Trump’s penchant for mispronouncing words.

Trump was prone to pronouncing China leader’s name Xi Jinping as “X-I”, the correct pronunciation is “shee.” Wolff reports that to avoid an embarrassing gaffe Trump’s aides advised him to think of the Chinese leader as a female and call him “she.” That could have easily backfired, the demented Trump could have thought that the Chinese dictator was really a woman, and he could have treated him like he treats most women, an groped his butt.

In hindsight we should all be relieved that Trump didn’t call Jinping “Mr. Pingpong” or “President Chink.”

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Louis the Horse-riding Cat Breaks the Internet! Video!

“Now there’s something you don’t see every day. It’s a cat, riding a horse. Louis the cat and Comet the pony both belong to a professional horse-trainer. They’re good buddies, and often enjoy going on rides in the English countryside. The odd couple sure looks like they’re having fun. After all, what’s better than spending quality time with a friend?”

YouTube Description

There are a gazillion and one videos on YouTube depicting cats doing just about everything under the sun, but this may be the only video depicting a feline riding a horse.

Louis the cat isn’t a side-saddle riding sissy, he is an accomplished equestrian. Perhaps Judge Roy Moore the well known pedophile and amateur horseman can take pointers from Louis on how to properly ride a horse.

It’s surprising that there aren’t more horse-riding cats considering that felines gravitate toward higher perches. My cat Ebony likes to jump on top of my highest bookcase so she can properly survey her domain.

With all the tomfoolery and insanity emanating from the White House, I thought my readers might enjoy this adorable diversion:

 

Fire Breaks Out at Bill and Hillary Clinton’s Chappaqua House

“Police in New Castle, New York, have confirmed a fire at the home of Bill and Hillary Clinton in Chappaqua, a town north of New York City.

Police declined to give further details on the fire at 15 Old House Lane where the Clintons have lived for nearly 20 years after buying it for $1.7 million in 1999.

Scanner reports said it was a bedroom fire and has been extinguished.

The house, built in 1889, features five bedrooms over 5,232 square feet and a pool on its 1.1 acres.”

USA Today

I am not going to hypocritically claim that I`m glad Bill and Hillary Clinton weren`t home at the time. I wish to God that Hillary had been home trying out new pantsuits, and that the fat heifer was engulfed in flames before she could run out the front door. I would be delighted with any scenario that precludes the witch from ever running for office again.

According to USA Today the fire started in a bedroom, leading some who are unfamiliar with Bill and Hillary`s marriage to conclude that things got so steamy between the amorous couple that they set the damn house on fire.

Truth be told theirs is a marriage of political convenience, Slick Willy is a philanderer and Hillary is a straight-up lesbian, I seriously doubt if they have ever enjoyed conjugal bliss.

The Clintons have lived in Chappaqua for a couple of decades, but they have probably been together in their home only a handful of times. The Clintons own several properties, and they`re not going to be under the same roof if they can help it.

2018 almost started off in a terrific manner, but sad to say Bill and Hillary Clinton are alive and well.

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/01/03/fire-reported-bill-and-hillary-clintons-new-york-house/1001184001/

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What Will Pedophile Judge Roy Moore Do With the Rest of His Life?

After losing his Senate bid in the most Republican state in the country to a Democrat, what is Judge Roy Moore, 71, going to do until the Grim Reaper drags him away to hell?

Well we know what he will probably be doing on Sundays: Teaching Sunday School to prepubescent girls. While normal parents would never let the pedophile get within 50 yards of their daughters, the Bible-thumping parents of Alabama will be fighting each other to enroll their daughters in the limited seats available for Moore`s class.

But what will the child molester do on weekdays?

He could make a killing in his Woody cowboy outfit, and brandishing his tiny pistol at gay parties, gays really go for that campy shi*. I know the judge is virulently anti-gay, but methinks he might enjoy the attention of gay gentlemen. Too many anti-gay Republican politicians have turned out to be closeted gays.

Moore may be anathema in polite society, but evangelicals still have a hard-on for him, and he can always find employment in the evangelical world.

Moore could be employed as a carnival barker at the Ark Encounter, a fundamentalist theme park whose centerpiece is a full-scale model of Noah`s Ark.

Moore is a horse`s ass, but he sure ain`t a horseman. He could work as a rodeo clown, the country hicks would get a kick out of watching Moore attempt to ride his horse Sassy.

He could form a country Gospel trio with his wife Kayla and his horse Sassy. The horse`s braying would hopefully drown out Moore and his spouse, and who wouldn`t enjoy the spectacle?

I promise this will be my final Roy Moore article, I just couldn`t resist making fun of the pedophile one more time.

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A TED Talk That Matters: Why Do Cats Act So Weird?: Video

TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is an organization which posts talks online for free distribution, under the slogan `ideas worth spreading.`

Most of the TED talks deal with science and technology: Simulation theory, quantum mechanics, artificial intelligence …

If you`re an egghead with a doctorate in String theory TED talks are right up your alley.

But finally there`s a TED video for common folks, and it`s on a subject that everybody can relate to: Cats!

This 2016 video from TEDEd doesn`t feature a boring scientist speaking from a podium, it`s a cutesy animation narrated by distinguished cat expert Dr. Tony Buffington.

This video answers the questions that have perplexed cat lovers since time immemorial:

Why do cats seek higher ground?

Why do they sharpen their claws on your furniture?

Why do they purr?

Why do they love boxes?

Cat lovers might tend to dismiss a ponderous professor, but the adorable animation keeps our interest, and I recommend this video for all cat lovers, regardless if they`re into String theory or just like teasing their cats with a string.

Robert Paul Reyes’ New Year’s Resolutions

Every year like clockwork at this time of the year I post my Top Ten New Year`s Resolutions. But I`ve never published an update on how many of the resolutions I managed to keep.

My yearly Top Ten lists are a testament to my abject failure to keep my commitments, it`s always a case of the “spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Maybe I should channel a beauty pageant contestant and simply declare that my only resolution is to strive for world peace. But my regular readers know that I`m a cynical old bastard, and I would lose what little credibility I have.

A more rational course is simply to end the practice of posting my Top Ten New Year`s Resolutions. I really don`t need another reminder that I`m a weak human being whose dreams and aspirations are bigger than my ability to make them come to fruition.

I could post a list of the Top Ten Accomplishments of 2017:

I managed not to accumulate any debt this year, as the year comes to a close my only bills are my monthly utility bills.

I haven`t made any enemies this year (that I`m aware of). I may have legions of online enemies who hate me because of my sometimes controversial essays, but in real life I haven`t pissed somebody off to the extent that they consider me an enemy.

Make that my Top Two Accomplishments of 2017.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. If you don`t have much to celebrate this year, do like everyone else, and manufacture some faux joy by getting sloppy drunk.

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The Internet is Real Life! Humankind is Destined to be Replaced by Artificial Intelligence!

It seems like only a few years ago the Internet was a harmless realm of entertainment and diversion from the trials and tribulations of real life.

It was a smorgasbord of porn, everything from softcore porn featuring lipstick lesbians pummeling each other with pillows to hardcore smut that wouldn`t be out of place in an adult book store in Times Square circa 1970.

It was a soapbox for citizen journalists to publish their editorials to a worldwide audience, a force of democratization that democracies as well as totalitarian countries perceived as a threat.

It was a platform for UFO wingnuts to post their out-of-focus videos on YouTube, spreading their galactic Gospel to the four corners of the world.

It was an outlet for maligned and ridiculed cat ladies to infect everyone with their love for their furry significant others, indeed it`s felines not porn or flying saucers that have broken the Internet.

The Internet is still all of these things, but today there`s less whimsy and more worry. Today we wake up to the tweets of a president who has weaponized social media to the detriment of the Internet and our democracy.

Bullies who once terrorized a playground can now wreak havoc on the virtual world, a child can no longer be free of a coward`s taunts when he`s home, the bully`s taunts can follow him home on Facebook and Twitter.

in the early days of the Internet the biggest threat we faced from hackers was annoying adware, now they can siphon our bank accounts in a nano-second.

The Internet is no longer a distraction from real life, it is real life. We shop, date, go to school, and pretty much do everything online. We can`t disconnect from the Internet without becoming a recluse and a hermit.

Life can be unbearable at times, and we live our lives in the virtual realm, so naturally the Internet is unbearable. I hate to sound pessimistic, but common sense and rationality won`t prevail online or in real life until artificial intelligence replaces humankind.

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Ivanka and Tiffany Trump Bikini-Clad Xmas Video Shocks the Nation

“A video of first daughters Tiffany and Ivanka Trump blowing kisses to their followers in bikinis is being met with mostly criticism in return online.

In the short clip uploaded to Twitter Tuesday, the two women can be seen posing in their bikinis as `O Holy Night` is heard playing in the background while lounging by the pool at their father`s Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.”

AOL.Com

Let me start on a high note: Tiffany and Ivanka Trump are beautiful beyond words, it`s almost beyond comprehension that their father is an orange-faced pig, with a mouth that resembles a sphincter, wispy hair that looks like cotton candy that was dropped in a urine-filled toilet bowl, and the shrunken hands of a dwarf.

If anyone is waging a war on Christmas it`s these two bikini-clad airheads who are blowing kisses while “O Holy Night” is playing in the background. I doubt there are any holy nights at Mar-a-Lago when these strumpets are in the house.

These young millionaire chicks can escape the bitter cold and cavort in their daddy`s resort in sunny Florida, while most of us can`t afford to go on a vacation.

I will release my own video blowing kisses to these bimbos when their fuc*en moron father is impeached and removed from office.

Link to video:

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/12/27/tiffany-ivanka-trump-mocked-bikini-clad-video/23317943/

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Aussie Videotapes UFO on Christmas

“BE IT a bird, a plane, or Santa dropping off some last minute presents – something unexplained was seen circling the Sunshine Coast skies last night.

Coast resident Renee Anderson caught the unidentified flying object on video while celebrating Christmas with family and friends.”

Sunshine Coast Daily

On Christmas children search the skies in hopes of catching a glimpse of Santa`s sleigh, and child-like adults stare at the skies in hopes of seeing a UFO.

In Australia it`s never a good idea to scan the skies in search of UFOs, while your looking up a dingo may kidnap your baby, or a kangaroo might deliver a swift kick to your arse.

The newspaper article states that Renee Anderson was celebrating Christmas when she saw the UFO, and the filmed it and posted the video on Facebook. Perhaps if she had done a little less celebrating she wouldn`t have embarrassed herself and her family by posting the dubious video on social media.

Moral of this story:

If you videotape a UFO while you are drunk as a skunk, wait until you sober up before posting it online.

Link to video:

https://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/news/ufo-caught-on-video-flying-through-coast-skies/3298400/

Reprobate Church Welcomes Donald Trump and Melania Trump With Standing Ovation

President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump arrived fashionably late for the Christmas Eve midnight mass service at Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea in upscale West Palm Beach.

They were greeted with a standing ovation, no doubt in appreciation for how much Trump`s Tax plan will benefit them.

When a president who is the antithesis of the teachings of Jesus Christ receives a rousing standing ovation at a Christian church you know we are living in the End Days.

But at least the pastor spoke truth to power, gently and subtly rebuking Trump. The Reverend James Harlan started off with a quote from Nelson Mandela

It is never my custom to use words lightly. If 27 years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die.

Harlan went on to speak about the power of words to make the world a better place.

He ended with this admonition:

Your words can have as much destructive potential as they do healing.

I doubt if the pastor`s words had any effect on Trump. The words of an eloquent and soft-spoken minister won`t move Trump. Jehovah needs to dispatch Elijah the Prophet to warn the short-fingered vulgarian that if he doesn`t repent that God will cast him into the Lake of Fire.

While the pastor was preaching about the power of words to make this a wonderful world, Trump was probably posting nasty tweets from his pew.

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Melania’s Christmas Selfie: First Lady Looks Like Duck Face Tramp From Pit of Hell

“Melania Trump was in the holiday spirit on Christmas Day – but Twitter, not so much.

The first lady was trolled on social media after she posted a selfie with a filter featuring a Santa hat and sparkling reindeer.

#MerryChristmas, the first lady captioned the photo, adding emojis of a Christmas tree and Santa Clause.”

People Magazine

Melania`s Christmas selfie is the epitome of tackiness, the First Lady looks like the last tramp you want to meet on the way to Christmas mass.

Her Yuletide selfie would make a perfect cover for the Christmas edition of Hustler magazine, the centerfold would display the former model in all her pornographic glory.

Melania`s lips are puckered as if she`s being interviewed for an intern`s position in the Clinton Foundation.

Ladies, and I use the term loosely, may walk around with their lips puckered like whores n the gaudy elegance of Mar-a-Lago, but everyday Americans are walking around with a grimace as they contemplate the New Year with a president with a mouth that looks like a sphincter and a First Lady who puckers her lips like a slut.

Pic of Melania`s tacky Christmas selfie:

http://people.com/politics/melania-trump-filtered-christmas-selfie-twitter/

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Santa-Hating Cat Becomes Internet Superstar

It`s axiomatic that cats hate Christmas! They strip your Christmas tree of tinsel, and spread it all over your house. They shred the Christmas wrapping from the gifts under the tree. They disrespect the Nativity Scene, and plant their fat butts on the Baby Jesus. They caterwaul when Christmas carolers visit your home. They hiss like a Grinch on crack when you put a Santa`s cap on them. They recoil in horror when you dress like Santa Claus. And they climb up the chimney to escape when you play Mariah Carey`s “All I Want for Christmas.”

A pic of a kitty cat ominously standing over a tiny Santa Clause figurine has become a venerated image for Scrooges all over the world.

I echo this cat`s sentiments: Bah Humbug, enough with the Christmas cheer!

Pic of kitty hating on Santa:

http://rare.us/rare-humor/christmas-hating-cat-has-showdown-with-santa-claus-becomes-internet-celebrity/

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Donald Trump’s Huge Christmas Cards Are An Abomination

I love most of the trappings of Christmas, come the Holiday Season I want to get drunk on eggnog, park my chair under the mistletoe, and invite Christmas carolers to serenade me while I take a bath.

But there is one Christmas ritual that I loathe: Sending Christmas cards.

It`s a colossal waste of paper, what with Christmas cards and Christmas trees saving the planet really takes a back seat on Christmas.

It`s nerve-wracking trying to remember which of the persons I sent a card last year didn`t reciprocate. You really feel like a Tiny Tim loser when you send someone a Christmas card, and they blow you off.

They are sent out of a sense of social duty, not because you are filled with a warm and fuzzy Yuletide spirit.

That`s why I gave up sending Christmas cards years ago, I hope they will soon become as obsolete as stamps.

There are some wankers who still send out Xmas cards, for example Donald Trump sent poster-size ones to Congressional offices this year. It is a huge breach of etiquette to send out a gigantic Christmas card that can double as a placemat.

Receiving a Christmas card from Trump is like receiving one from Scrooge, the Grinch or the Antichrist.

Bah humbug, screw Donald Trump and his big ass Christmas cards!

Pic of Trump`s huge Christmas Card:

http://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-melania-trump-large-christmas-card-eric-swalwell-755780

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Donald Trump Has No Brains and Mike Pence Has No Balls

Donald Trump assumed the presidency with the bases loaded, the Republicans controlled both chambers of Congress, and even though he was a political neophyte he was confident that his team would be hitting legislative victories out of the park all year long.

But since day one the Trump administration has been mired in corruption, dysfunction and infighting, and as the year comes to a close Trump`s disastrous Tax plan is his only major legislative victory.

In his final Cabinet meeting of 2017, Trump bragged about the many historic accomplishments of his inaugural year. He then turned the mic over to Vice President Mike Pence, and instead of injecting a little bit of truth he praised his boss to high heaven.

Pence peppered his speech with so many “congratulations” and “thank yous” that any other president would have been so embarrassed that he would interrupted his sycophantic praise. But of course Trump expects and encourages such extravagant praise from his subordinates.

If you had just woken up after a year-long coma, and heard Pence`s remarks you would have thought that Trump has surprised everyone, and turned into a Lincolnseque statesman.

Unfortunately, the truth is that history books will record that the first year of the Trump administration was an unmitigated disaster.

All year long Pence has cleaned up after his boss, after every intemperate remark and vulgar tweet, he has attempted to spin Trump`s toxic comments into pearls of candor and wisdom.

Bottom line: Trump is a racist and misogynist buffoon and Pence is a spineless coward, and I implore Congress to impeach and remove from office both of these clowns.

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December 2017 Archives Page Two:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/december-2017-archives-page-two/

Pedophile-Lover Cardinal Bernard Law’s Funeral to be Held at St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City

White evangelicals are the most despised religious group in America, their demonization of gays for political expediency and their subjugation of women in the name of biblical orthodoxy is an affront to decent people of all faiths and no faith.

This year they sunk even lower in the cesspool of hypocrisy and religiosity in their embrace of the serial predator Donald Trump and the pedophile Judge Roy Moore.

The Roman Catholic Church is determined to prove that they love pedophiles as much as American white evangelicals.

The Catholic Church will be holding a full cardinals` funeral for Cardinal Bernard Law at St. Peter`s Basilica in Vatican City on Thursday.

Cardinal Law is the most infamous enabler and supporter of pedophile priests.

From Wikipedia:

He had knowledge of sexual abuse committed by dozens of Catholic priests within his archdiocese and had failed to remove them from the ministry. One priest alone was alleged to have raped or molested 130 children over decades, while Law and other local officials moved him among churches rather than going to the authorities.

Law doesn`t deserve a cardinal`s funeral in St. Peter`s Basilica in Vatican City, he deserves to be buried in a dunghill with a convicted pedophile presiding over his funeral.

Fuc* white evangelicals and Fuc* the Roman Catholic Church, they`ve made a mockery of the teachings of Jesus Christ.

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Nativity Scene Gone to the Dogs

“A woman has been overwhelmed by the response to her dog nativity scene after a photograph posted on Twitter was liked more than 83,000 times.

Jo Kingston, who runs a dog walking and grooming business in Mountsorrel, Leicestershire, said `it`s gone bonkers`.

BBC

A Nativity Scene fills Christians with a feeling of hope and promise that into this world of sin and sorrow a Savior is born.

Non-Christians may walk by a Nativity Scene and consider it just another symbol of the Holiday Season.

But nobody can look at this blessed pic of a Doggie Nativity Scene and not exclaim: IT`S A WONDERFUL WORLD!

Merry Christmas!

Pic of Dog Nativity Scene:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-leicestershire-42430724

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Nothing Says ‘Merry Christmas’ Like a Skinny Mariah, a Fat Blunt, a Purring Cat, and a Roaring Fire

Nothing says Christmas bliss like lighting up the Yuletide bong, sitting in front of a crackling fireplace, with your kitty cat purring on your lap.

If a gang of Grinch`s invading my home, and stole all my Earthly possessions, I wouldn`t mind as long as they didn`t grab my bong or my cat.

In fact, I would be chill even if the Zombie Apocalypse breaks out, as long as I`m warm inside my little pink house with my cats, and my pooch.

It`s Christmas time and everybody deserves to be blissed out, but if you don`t have a fireplace or a cat, don`t despair.

Lil BUB`s Extraordinarily Magical Yule Log video features the soothing sounds of Lil BUB purring in front of a fireplace.

Dude, you really don`t even need any weed to be filled with the Christmas spirt, there`s nothing like a feline purring to alter your consciousness.

Turn on your smart TV, click on the Lil BUB Christmas video, and dream about the 1990s era Mariah Carey sliding down the chimney and crooning: All I Want for Christmas is You!

Nothing says Merry Christmas like a skinny Mariah, a fat blunt, a purring cat, and a roaring fire.

Donald Trump Thinks He’s Going to be Exonerated Soon! What a Moron!

Donald Trump has on overriding obsession, and it`s not Little Rocket Man, his little penis or his ongoing battles with the media, FBI and the judicial system.

From the moment he begins tweeting at three o`clock in the morning until Chief of Staff John Kelly tucks him in at night all he thinks about is Special Counsel Robert Mueller`s Russia investigation.

Trump has no one but himself to blame for Mueller`s investigation, the die was cast when he fired FBI Director James Comey.

He may call it a witch hunt and a hoax, but it`s a legitimate and independent investigation that has already derailed his administration, and may ultimately lead to his impeachment and removal from office.

Trump is on a mission from God to discredit Mueller and his team of lawyers and FBI agents, but the more dirt he flings the more his nasty dwarf hands get dirty.

Trump is being abetted by Republican congressional leaders who are calling on Mueller to resign, but that will happen on the same day the president apologizes for being a fuc*ing moron.

But in recent days Trump has exhibited a Zen-like calmness, for some crazy reason he`s under the impression that the end of the investigation is nearing, and that he will soon be fully exonerated by Mueller.

When Trump realizes that the investigation has months if not years to run, and that the likely outcome is an indictment, and not exoneration he`s going to flip his freaking wig.

Prepare for an explosion of epic proportions.

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What’s Next for Omarosa?

“As Omarosa Manigault Newman exits her job in the White House, a bizarre video showing her less, er, stateswomanly side has emerged.

A pop-culture polymath sent Page Six a link to `Soul Sistahs,` an ultra-camp, hyper-kitsch, uber-low-budget 10-minute sci-fi short film.

While the plot is virtually incomprehensible, as far as we can tell it focuses on an intergalactic yenta in a housecoat who kidnaps Omarosa in an attempt to steal Donald Trump`s hair as part of a difficult-to-understand get-rich-quick scheme.

The mini-flick was made back in 2006 – two years after Omarosa shot to fame on Trump`s NBC show `The Apprentice.`”

Page Six

What does the future hold for Omarosa after her abrupt resignation/termination as the Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison for the Trump administration?

That`s a fancy title for somebody whose major role in the White House was providing a smidgen of diversity. Ostensibly she was a liaison to the black community, but African-Americans hated the Uncle Tom witch as was evidenced by their glee when she was fired. Bye Felicia, indeed!

Omarosa is an ordained minister, and she would fit right in the world of evangelical hucksterism, but that may be beneath her.

Omarosa could star in a reality TV show, but after starring in the ultimate reality series, the Trump Administration, I don`t think she`s going that route.

Omarosa looks like a drag queen, Omarosa even sounds like a drag queen moniker, and she could hit the gay club circuit as the ultimate drag queen, but there`s not enough money in that racket.

This short-form video made back in 2006 highlights Omarosa`s skill as a kitschy, campy starlet. You don`t have to be gay, well maybe a wee bit gay to enjoy this campy video. Just fire up your bong, and enjoy the tomfoolery!

Omarosa is Barbarella for the 21st century. With an infusion of cash and a multi-million marketing campaign, “Soul Sistah`s II” would be a smash hit.

Read More:

https://pagesix.com/2017/12/16/bizarre-film-of-omarosa-surfaces-amid-white-house-exit/?_ga=2.216444374.1784380232.1513431578-1780243009.1513431578

Ten Worst Things About Christmas

EGGNOG

An alcoholic beverage made with milk, egg yolks, rum or whiskey, and spices doesn`t sound particularly appetizing, and it`s not! Is it any wonder that nobody consumes this noxious brew any time other than Christmas?

CHRISTMAS OFFICE PARTIES

Most Christmas office parties are not held at the office, but after work at a bar or restaurant. I don`t relish the idea of spending my free time with my co-workers, in fact I`d rather give Oprah Winfrey a one-hour Brazilian wax than spend a minute with my colleagues during my free time. Is it any wonder that most people get absolutely toasted at office parties, that`s the only way they can survive the excruciating ordeal.

SECRET SANTA

Secret Santa is a Christmas tradition in which members of a group (usually employees who work in the same office) are randomly assigned a person to whom they give a gift. The identity of the gift giver is a secret not to be revealed.

I usually take some thought and consideration in buying a gift for the person I was assigned even if I`m not especially fond of that person. My Secret Santa invariably turns out to be a cheap bastard who buys me a tie or a damn pair of socks.

CHRISTMAS MOVIES

Christmas Movies are cheesy and saccharine productions tailor-made for Hallmark, Lifetime and Netflix. Out of the thousands of Christmas flicks, there are only four good ones: Diehard, Bad Santa, Bad Santa 2 and It`s a Wonderful Life.

CHRISTMAS SWEATERS

Nobody looks good in a Christmas sweater, even Salma Hayek wouldn`t look good if she was clad in a Christmas sweater and nothing else, no pants, no panties, no nothing! Some hipsters have an ironic appreciation for Christmas sweaters, but there`s too many losers who actually think they are hot shit when they wear a Christmas sweater to work.

CHRISTMAS CAROLLERS

These wankers perform in a public place (usually a shopping mall) or go from house to house singing Christmas carols. I`d rather have my peace and quiet interrupted by Jehovah`s Witnesses than by smiling bastards singing beloved Christmas carols off-key.

FAMILY CHRISTMAS DINNER

At Christmas family members who for excellent reasons (they despise each other) don`t get together any other time of the year sit down to enjoy a meal. There`s always the crazy uncle who spouts conspiracy theories, the incontinent grandma who poops in her diapers, the delinquent nephew who`s watching porn on his cellphone during the blessing, the nympho aunt who is hitting on her brother-in-law, and the crying baby that you are just dying to throw into the fireplace.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

Like any dude I hate shopping on a normal day, going Christmas shopping is a freaking nightmare. The only available parking is a mile from the store, stationed by the front door is a Salvation Army volunteer giving you a nasty look for not dropping a coin in his kettle, and the store is jam-packed with shoppers who are filled with anything but the Christmas spirit.

MALL SANTAS

Your mall Santa is either a wino, a pedophile or both, parents who let their innocent children sit on Santa`s lap should be reported to the authorities.

RADIO STATIONS THAT GO TO AN ALL CHRISTMAS MUSIC FORMAT DURING CHRISTMAS

I don`t mind hearing a Christmas standard or two during the holiday season, but why in the name of God does my favorite oldies station play Christmas music 24/7 starting as early as the day after Thanksgiving? If I hear Mariah Carey`s “All I Want for Christmas” one more time, I`m going to murder the fat whore.

Dang, is there anything good about Christmas?

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

RIP AIM

Today AIM was discontinued.

I bought my first computer in 1995, and I was such a newbie to the digital revolution that I enrolled in a Windows class in adult school.

Like almost everybody who connected to the Internet in the late 90`s I was an AOL subscriber, and I still hear the dial-up sound in my nightmares.

In those days I communicated with friends and colleagues via AOL Instant Messenger which originally was available only to AOL subscribers, of course that was an era when AOL was king of the world wide web. AOL was released as a stand-alone download in May 1997.

The AIM yellow running man was one of the most recognizable advertising icons of the 1990s. The little yellow running man was a perfect symbol for the slow dial-up Internet service, today`s broadband service would best be represented by a yellow blur.

I communicated with family living in other states, and made my first virtual friends on AIM. AIM is like your first lover, you only remember the good qualities.

Snapchat, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger and cellphone SMS are light years ahead of AIM, but AIM will always have a special place in my heart.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Is a Cigar-shaped Asteroid Really a UFO?

“Are intelligent extraterrestrials trying to communicate with or study us? Some scientists think that`s a possibility-and that it`s happening right now. Starting at 3 p.m. EST on Wednesday, researchers with the Breakthrough Listen initiative began pointing a powerful radio telescope toward a mysterious object visiting the solar system, hopeful they could detect signs that the interstellar interloper is actually of alien origin.

The object in question is `Oumuamua, an asteroid from another star system currently zipping past Jupiter at about 196,000 miles per hour, too fast to be trapped by the sun`s gravitational pull. First discovered in mid-October by astronomers at the Pan-STARRS project at the University of Hawaii, the 800-meter-long, 80-meter-wide, cigar-shaped rock is, technically speaking, weird as hell-and that`s precisely why some scientists think it`s not a natural object.”

Slate

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but is a cigar-shaped asteroid really an extraterrestrial spacecraft?

I hope not, from an aesthetic perspective I prefer flying saucers to look well, like flying saucers.

Human beings are supposed to be awestruck at the technology and engineering skill of alien races that have mastered interstellar travel, I`m sorry but a UFO that looks like a giant penis doesn`t impress me at all.

But maybe this object is a galactic Trojan Horse, and humankind won`t realize it`s really a UFO until it lands in the Rose Garden and thousands of aliens invade the White House and impale Donald Trump with the mother of all anal probes.

Wouldn`t that be terrific?

Read More:

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2017/12/scientists_are_watching_oumuamua_an_asteroid_they_think_could_be_an_alien.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Rookie Airport Bomb-Sniffing Dog Pooping While on Duty

“Everyone makes mistakes early in their careers.

So the fact that a rookie bomb-sniffing dog has been pooping in the terminals and concourses at Midway International Airport is being dealt with delicately by her employer.

`It`s not going to ruin her career,` Kevin McCarthy, who heads up Transportation Security Administration operations at Midway, said earlier this week.

`It doesn`t impact her ability to do the job.`

The issue: the pooch, who`s just over two years old, has been getting a bit jittery in crowds.”

Chicago Sun Times

Putting up with an incontinent bomb-sniffing pooch is like a breath of fresh air compared to dealing with TSA Agents who think they`re proctologists.

There is no reason to act as if the shit has hit the fan, rookies are allowed to make mistakes.

I get jittery in large crowds also, although I haven`t crapped myself in frustration and nervousness, I have farted away my anxiety.

I don`t give a crap if a bomb-sniffing canine takes a crap while on duty, it`s a small price to pay for lessening the risk of getting blown to smithereens.

I`m glad the dog has an understanding trainer, there`s no reason to banish the poor creature to the doghouse.

Read More:

https://chicago.suntimes.com/chicago-politics/midway-bomb-sniffing-dog-has-pooping-problem/

 

 

Top Christmas Gifts For Your Cat

I love all the trappings of Christmas: The mistletoe hanging in the office, houses festooned with Christmas lights, carolers serenading commuters, and stockings hanging by the fireplace.

Not everyone has a fireplace, but everybody should hang Yuletide stockings somewhere for all the members of their family, including the four-legged ones.

My cats, Tico and Ebony, have frayed their stockings, they treat them like a scratching post.

Which brings us to the question: What toys should you get your felines for Christmas?

Any Toy That Encourages Your Kitty to be Active

Cats are the laziest creatures on Earth, if my pets find a warm spot, they won`t move until they need to eat or use the litter box. Buy them a cat tunnel or a mechanical mouse that will inspire them to get off their fat butts.

Any Toy That Has Catnip

Humans have their eggnog and a holiday bong, it`s only fair that we provide our kitties with catnip. Your neighborhood pet store has dozens of toys that have catnip stored in them that`s released slowly while your cats are playing.

A Super Deluxe Litter Box

Too many cat owners just buy the cheapest litter box they can find, and keep the damn thing until it falls apart. Is it any wonder that some cats make it a point to defecate OUTSIDE the litter box? At the minimum a litter box should have a lid. Would you feel comfortable taking a crap in a bathroom that doesn`t have a door?

Another Cat

Cats are independent, but that doesn`t mean they enjoy being alone for hours at a time while you are at work. A good idea would be to foster a cat from a shelter, and if it gets along with your furball, adopt it.

Food

You can`t go wrong if you fill your cat`s stocking with his favorite gourmet treats.

If you don`t have a cat, adopt one from your local animal shelter as a Christmas gift to yourself.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes