robert paul reyes

Donald Trump Gets Behind the Wheel of a Big Rig and the Internet Goes Nuts

“Yes, it happened – at the White House. US President Donald Trump was rallying votes for his health care reform bill Thursday but made a pit stop in the afternoon to meet with truck drivers and trucking executives.

During that meeting, he spent a few minutes happily exploring the cab of a tractor-trailer parked outside the White House.
The 70-year-old Republican, dressed in a suit, enthusiastically honked the horn before pretending to drive the vehicle and making some funny faces – and the internet noticed, with #TrumpTruck getting some traction on Twitter.”

News.Com. Au

President Donald Trump got behind the wheel of a big rig and the Internet went bonkers.

My thoughts:

I don`t know what`s more ludicrous Trump playing president or Trump playing truck driver.

How was Trump able to get his tiny hand to sound the air horn?

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. When I was a child I really wanted to get behind the wheel of a big truck and blow the horn, but I grew up and pursued more worthwhile goals. Grow up Trump!

The images of Trump inside the cab of the tractor-trailer reminded me of the corny country classic “Convoy” by C.W. McCall. Trump is leading a convoy driving down the path to hell.

Trump was making funny faces while pretending to drive the semi truck, we`re all making funny faces while Trump pretends to govern the country.

Trump will become a real truck driver before his wreck of a health care plan becomes law.

Read More:

http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/trumps-truck-driver-moment/news-story/cab84861db83510a822a60c0e946b898

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Donald Trump Jr Blasts London Mayor After Terrorist Attack

“`You have to be kidding me?!` Mr. Trump said Wednesday afternoon on Twitter, as details of the episode – which left at least five dead, including the assailant, and 40 injured – continued to unfold. The message continued, `Terror attacks are part of living in big city, says London Mayor Sadiq Khan.`

Mr. Trump, the oldest son of President Trump, was calling attention to an article from September in The Independent, a British newspaper, that described Mr. Khan`s reaction to a bombing then in the Chelsea neighborhood of New York City.

Mr. Trump mischaracterized the London mayor`s remarks. Mr. Khan did not describe terrorism as `part of living in a big city,` as if bombings and shootings were an inescapable fact of life. He said that terrorism preparedness, including providing sufficient support to the police, was `part and parcel of living in a great global city.`”

New York Times

The rotten apple doesn`t fall far from the tree, Donald Trump Jr. shares his father`s obsession with posting misleading and controversial tweets.

First of all, as the excerpt of the New York Times article shows, Junior twisted the London mayor`s remarks. Mr. Khan didn`t describe terrorism as “part of living in a big city,” his statement was more nuanced and diplomatic.

Although I would argue that terrorism is “part of living in a big city,” there is no way in hell that authorities can prevent a terrorist from mowing down people with a vehicle.

Secondly, Trump gave the impression that the mayor uttered the remarks in the aftermath of the March, 22, 2017 London attack, when in fact he delivered his comments after the September 2016 Chelsea bombing.

But at least Junior didn`t refer to the mayor of London as “the bad Muslim mayor of London,” his father would have pointed out the mayor`s religion.

Word of advice for all the Trumps:

After the next terrorist attack go with a generic Tweet: My thoughts and prayers are with the victims …

Read More: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/22/us/politics/donald-trump-jr-criticizes-london-mayor-after-deadly-attack.html?_r=0

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Japanese Town Offering Discount Funerals for Seniors Who Give Up Driving

“A Japanese town is offering elderly drivers discount funerals as an incentive to give up their licenses — and hopefully delay their own memorials.

The Ichinomiya Police Department is partnering with the Heiankaku funeral home, which has 89 locations in Aichi prefecture, to offer 15 percent discounts on funeral services for elderly residents who agree to forfeit their driver`s licenses.

Recent statistics released by prefecture police indicated drivers over the age of 75 were blamed for 13 percent of the prefecture`s fatal traffic collisions in 2016.

UPI

Kudos to the Japanese town of Heiankaku for trying to convince elderly drivers to forfeit their driver`s licenses.

The elderly are a menace on the road; they tend to drive huge cars; they impede the flow of traffic by driving too damn slow, and their motor skills are too slow to react to quickly changing traffic conditions.

As soon as a driver reaches the age of 65 his license should be revoked, and as compensation he should be granted a 25 percent discount on Uber.

The only motorized vehicle a person over age 65 should drive is a Hoveround scooter.

Whenever there is an accident involving a senior citizen and a normal driver, the police offer should always assume the old person is at fault.

In a perfect world our highways and byways would be senior citizen free zones.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/22/Japanese-town-offering-discount-funerals-for-seniors-who-give-up-driving/9751490209125/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=4

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Pussy Riot’s Nadya Hates Putin and Trump

“When it comes to defiance, Nadya Tolokonnikova of Russian punk band Pussy Riot could be considered a pro.

In 2012, Pussy Riot staged a guerilla performance at the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow. The show mocked Vladimir Putin and the Russian Orthodox Church, which led to Tolokonnikova and fellow bandmate Maria Alekhina receiving a two-year prison sentence.”

Huffington Post

Nadya Tolokkonnikova of the punk band Pussy Riot is one woman serial pussy-grabber Donald Trump doesn`t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. (Not that tiny hands Trump even knows what a ten-foot pole looks like.)

Nadya has a long and distinguished history of resisting the tyrannical rule of Vladimir Putin, and in an opinion piece she wrote for Foreign Policy she offers some tips to her American cousins on how we can resist Donald Trump, whom she calls a “stupid ape.”

She argues that Putin and Trump are alike; they are thin-skinned egomaniacs who lash out at every perceived slight. Putin has no restraints on his power, he imprisons and even kills his enemies, Trump has to operate within the constraints of a democracy, but he`s still a dangerous person.

It`s our moral imperative to resist tyranny whether we live in an oligarchy or a democracy.

Many Democrats are under the delusion that judging by the colossal mistakes Trump has made in only two months in power, that he will soon be impeached.

But Nadya warns us to be prepared for a long and bitter fight, we may be stuck with Trump for four, or God forbid, eight years.

Putin may be a ruthless dictator, but he`s a patriot and he always has the best interests of the Russian Federation, Trump on the other hand only cares about growing his personal wealth and protecting his brand.

Americans are worse off under Trump than Russians are under Putin, and we must resist Trump by any means necessary.

Read More:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pussy-riot-advice-donald-trump-putin_us_58d01dc1e4b00705db51953a

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For the Good of the Country Twitter Should Ban Donald Trump

“Andrew Napolitano`s wiretapping allegations seem to have gotten him pulled off the air on Fox News.

Just Last week, Napolitano appeared on `Fox & Friends` and weighed in on President Trump`s allegation that former President Obama had him wiretapped.

`Three intelligence sources have informed Fox News that President Obama went outside the chain of command…`

`He used GCHQ. What the heck is GCHQ? That`s the initials for the British spying agency.`

This claim was then repeated by the White House.”
AOL News

Andrew Napolitano has been with Fox News almost since its inception, and he has a long history of disseminating conspiracy theories. We`re all familiar with his type, they usually sit at the end of the bar babbling about Alex Jones as if they were quoting Scripture.

Napolitano has effectively been suspended by Fox News, he was absent as a legal analyst for Supreme Court Nominee Neil Gorsuch`s Senate hearing.

Donald Trump has a lot in common with the loud guy at the bar and Napolitano, he loves conspiracy theories and he has no reservations about sharing them on social media.

Unfortunately, when the President of the United States spreads unsubstantiated allegations and crazy conspiracy theories on Twitter he diminishes his presidency, confuses the electorate, and tarnishes the international reputation of our great country.

In just over a couple of months Trump has severely weakened his presidency with his pathological lying, and spurious allegations against his political opponents.

Accusing former president Barack Obama of a felony without a shred of evidence was beyond the pale, and it has sown the seed that will lead to Trump`s eventual impeachment.

Napolitano was suspended by Fox News for impugning the integrity of a British spy agency, I wish Twitter would suspend Trump for spreading lies.

Read More:
https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/03/21/fox-reportedly-pulls-andrew-napolitano-from-air-after-wiretappin/21904088/

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Congratulations On Your Weight Loss Lena Dunham!

“Dunham`s row with Hilton came just days after she debuted her slimmer figure at the opening of personal trainer Tracy Anderson`s flagship studio in New York. She responded to the public celebrating and condemning her weight loss in a lengthy post.

`I`ve accepted that my body is an ever changing organism, not a fixed entity- what goes up must come down and vice versa. I smile just as wide no matter my current size because I`m proud of what this body has seen and done and represented,` the Girls star wrote.

`My weight loss isn`t a triumph and it also isn`t some sign I`ve finally given into the voices of trolls. Because my body belongs to ME–at every phase, in every iteration, and whatever I`m doing with it, I`m not handing in my feminist card to anyone,” she asserted.”

UPI

Dunham is correct, her body belongs to her, but as an entertainer it`s incumbent upon her to maintain a pleasing weight so as to not gross out her fans every time she makes a public appearance.

But she`s incorrect in her assertion that her weight loss isn`t a triumph, maintaining an aesthetically-pleasing figure is a personal triumph. Losing tons of excess weight that leads to myriad health conditions is a triumph. Shedding ugly pounds is a sign of discipline and it`s a triumph over sloth and apathy.

A fat person smiling at his girth makes as much sense as an alcoholic smiling at his tremors.

Lena, you`ve earned the right to smile! Smile, girlfriend, smile!

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/TV/2017/03/20/Lena-Dunham-dismisses-fashion-criticism-I-try-at-a-lot-of-things/1541490026652/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=11

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Permissive Parents Allow Toddlers From Hell to Engage in Unholy Tomfoolery

“Jonathan and Susana Balkin said their Nest home monitoring system was recording in the bedroom of 2-year-old identical twins Andrew and Ryan when the boys decided to climb out of their beds for some rowdy playtime March 13.

`My wife and I just heard a lot of giggling and playing so we were just eavesdropping on them for a little while and we didn`t want to disturb them because they were having so much fun,` Jonathan Balkin told Global News.

`We ended up spying on them for a little while on the camera just to make sure they weren`t getting into trouble,` Balkin told NBC`s Today. `Then after a while we decided, OK, it`s time to intervene and put them to bed. That didn`t really work out so well.`”

UPI

Jonathan and Susana Balkin have absolutely no shame; they willingly shared a video with the world that exposes their awful parenting.

If I was the parents of toddlers, and I witnessed them climbing out of their cribs to roughhouse after midnight, I would spank the Bejesus out of them.

These clueless parents didn`t want to disturb them, because they were having so much fun. There is a time and a place for everything, midnight isn`t the time for toddlers to have fun.

I wonder if these evil twins set the drapes on fire, will they hesitate to intervene because they are having so much fun?

These hapless parents cleaned up their room, and put them back into their beds, and of course they went right back to their tomfoolery.

I would have made the toddlers clean their room, spanked the hell out of them, and believe me they would have bit their lips and gone to sleep like little angels.

Read More: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/20/Bedtime-averse-twin-toddlers-stave-off-sleep-with-two-man-dance-party/9521490030125/

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Angela Merkel’s Bewilderment at the Entity Known as Donald Trump

“Angela Merkel`s facial expressions illustrate global bewilderment at Trump.”

Slate.com

As a writer I value words over photographs and videos, but a picture is worth a thousand words and these photos of Chancellor Angela Merkel`s facial expressions perfectly encapsulate the world`s bewilderment at Donald Trump.

I could write a 1,000 word thesis on the rise of Donald Trump as evidence that we live in a simulated reality, and that the God/Programmer has a really wicked sense of humor.

But I will spare myself hours of writing and editing, and simply implore you to click the link at the bottom of this page. Angela Merkel is every citizen of the world.

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Images of Angela Merkel`s bewilderment at Trump:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/03

Epic Las Vegas Street Fight Between Dude Wearing Eeyore Onesie and a Guitarist

“A shocking brawl between a man holding a guitar and another man dressed in a Eeyore onesie was captured on video.

The clip of the men was taken in Las Vegas, Nevada.”

Daily Mail

What happens in Vegas doesn`t always stay in Vegas, especially when it`s an epic street fight between a man brandishing a guitar and a freak dressed in a Eeyore onesie.

If a Winnie-the-Pooh fan sees this video, the poor kid will need a lifetime of therapy. For God`s sake parents, don`t let your children watch this abomination.
I would have bet against the dude wearing a onesie, it`s axiomatic that only babies and pitiful wankers wear onesies. But the onesie dude slammed the guitar dude to the ground, knocking him out dead cold.

After the costumed gentleman dispatched the guitar wimp, a woman rushed up to the costumed man, kicked him and punched him. Every pushover needs a woman like that backing him up.

The street guitarist is the one who struck the first blow by hitting Eeyore with his guitar, I hope he can play the guitar better than he can swing the guitar.

This lame fight needed to be left in Vegas.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4330240/Video-shows-bizarre-fight-two-men-Vegas-Strip.html#ixzz4brx4U2vP
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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Donald Trump Wants to Kill Meals on Wheels

There should be a special place reserved in hell for scammers who target the most vulnerable segment of our population, the elderly.

Con artists who are convicted of fleecing the elderly should be treated like child molesters behind bars, they should walk out of the Big House bowlegged and terrified of taking a shower.

Which brings us to the greatest flimflam artist of our times, Donald Trump. He basically bullshitted his way into the White House, and now he`s crapping all over the poor and the elderly.

The president just released his budget proposal that slashes federal funding from multiple programs that aid the elderly and poor.

The orange bastard wants to eliminate funding for a government program that partially funds local Meals on Wheels programs. Meals on Wheels is considered sacrosanct by Republicans, Democrats, and anybody with a beating heart. Only a Scrooge, the Antichrist or a monster with a really deep hatred for the elderly would kill Meals on Wheels.

Meals on Wheels delivers nutritional meals to the elderly and to the disabled who are housebound. The only social interaction that many of these disabled and elderly have is with the Meals on Wheels volunteers.

Trump`s $1.15 trillion budget proposal seeks a humongous increase in military and other security spending while slashing spending on social welfare programs that benefit the poor and disadvantaged.

Trump is building up the military to compensate for his micropenis; he should get a penis transplant and leave the poor and elderly the hell alone.

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Billboard Depicts Donald Trump, Nazi-like Symbols! Masterpiece!

“A billboard depicting President Donald Trump`s face next to explosions and dollar signs created with typography imitating Nazi swastikas went up in downtown Phoenix on Friday afternoon.

The back of the billboard shows five fists forming sign language letters with the word `unity` beneath the fists.”

The Arizona Republic

Regardless if you are a Republican, Democrat or an Independent, we should all agree that this controversial billboard is an expression of free speech, and it should not be taken down.

This masterpiece perfectly captures the cluelessness of Donald Trump, he seems oblivious to the nuclear explosions going off behind him. Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, Trump will be tweeting and contemplating why God cursed him with tiny hands while the world burns.

The dollar signs created with typography imitating Nazi swastikas are a stroke of brilliance that perfectly captures Trump`s unholy amalgamation of Nationalist fascism, unbridled capitalism and unchecked power.

This billboard is a clarion call, the time to take action against Trump is now before his rhetorical Twitter bombs ignite nuclear explosions.

Pic of billboard:

http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2017/03/17/billboard-depicts-trump-nazi-like-symbols-karen-fiorito/99326126/

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Grandmothers Knit Sweaters for Chickens

“Residents of a Massachusetts retirement home knitted sweaters for the chilly chickens living on a nearby estate — and their owners say egg production is up.”

UPI

You`re a young child and you rip open grandma`s large Christmas package with eagerness and anticipation only to discover a sweater that she lovingly knitted for you.

For the rest of your life you dream about suffocating the old hag with her sweater or poking out her eyes with a knitting needle, rendering her incapable of knitting any more sweaters.

For eons grandmothers have been knitting sweaters for their loved ones, and for eons we`ve been ignoring those sweaters, wearing them only when she comes to visit.

Let`s pray and hope that this grandmas knitting sweaters for chickens thing catches on, and henceforth they will only knit sweaters for critters that appreciate their handiwork.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

McDonald’s Twitter Account Mocks Donald Trump’s Tiny Hands

“The McDonald`s Twitter account on Thursday sent a quickly deleted message calling President Donald Trump a `disgusting excuse of a president.`

The tweet, which came from the fast-food giant`s official corporate account, also said the company would love to have Barack Obama back as president, and that Trump has `tiny hands,` the Associated Press reports.

Shortly after the tweet was posted, McDonald`s said it was notified by Twitter that its account had been compromised. `Twitter notified us that our account was compromised. We deleted the tweet, secured our account and are now investigating this,` McDonald`s wrote.”

Time

You`d think a billionaire would dine only on filet mignon, caviar and lobster, but actually Donald Trump loves fast food, and he once starred in a McDonald`s commercial.

I don`t know how Trump can get his tiny hands around a Big Mac, he probably has an assistant cut the giant burger into smaller portions that he can pick up.

Contrary to the Time magazine article, McDonald`s didn`t quickly delete the message calling Trump a “disgusting excuse of a president.” The offensive Tweet was online for over an hour before it was finally deleted. If McDonald`s Twitter account was really compromised, and the hacker posted a tweet claiming that the Big Whopper was superior to the Big Mac, I guarantee that message would be deleted in a New York minute.

Maybe Trump will get revenge by attacking McDonald`s on Twitter and by doing a commercial for White Castle, he shouldn`t have any problems holding a White Castle slider with his diminutive hands.

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Donald Trump Condemns Snoop Dogg Satirical Video

“A satirical music video featuring the rapper Snoop Dogg and a clown called Ronald Klump is the latest piece of pop culture drawing the attention and ire of President Trump.

On Wednesday, in yet another of his trademark early morning Twitter bursts, the president took the extraordinary step of invoking `jail time!` in response to the clip, which depicts Snoop Dogg pointing a toy pistol toward the Klump character. When the rapper pulls the trigger, a sign that says “bang” drops from the barrel in the style of classic prank guns; Klump is later shown in chains.”

New York Times

This article is a follow-up to my previous essays:

Snoop Dogg shoots Evil Clown Donald Trump in New Video

http://thesop.org/story/20170313/snoop-dogg-shoots-evil-clown-donald-trump-in-new-video.html

Marco Rubio Slams Donald Trump Over Music Video Depicting Mock Donald Trump Assassination

http://thesop.org/story/20170314/marco-rubio-slams-snoop-dogg-over-music-video-depicting-mock-trump-assassination.html

I knew that it was only a matter of time before Donald Trump would express his outrage on Twitter at Snoop Dogg for his anti-Trump video.

Any institution or individual who ridicules or criticizes Trump is branded as “failing” by the think-skinned president. The rap icon may be many things including a stoner, but he`s not failing as an entertainer by any sense of the word.

Donald Trump loves celebrities, and he was crushed when all the A-list celebs declined to perform at his inauguration. Trump was happier and more satisfied when he was firing contestants on “Celebrity Apprentice,” than he is serving as president of the United States.

When a celebrity like Meryl Streep, Rosie O`Donnell or Snoop Dogg criticizes Trump it really cuts him to the bone.

The only one who is failing is Trump, Snoop doesn`t tolerate any Oompa Loompa clowns, and neither do most Americans.

Read More:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/15/arts/music/snoop-dogg-trump-video-gun.html?_r=0

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Rachel Maddow: Most Epic Fail in Cable News History

For a few moments MSNBC`s Rachel Maddow was in a position that she`s unfamiliar with: At the center of the political world.

With a single tweet, Maddow became the Coc*tease Queen of Cyberspace:

We`ve got Trump`s tax returns … (Seriously)

Trump haters and political junkies were salivating at the prospect that Maddow was going to bring down the Trump administration by exposing his shady business dealings live on her program.

Maddow`s butch lesbian vibe and didactic presentation aren`t my cup of tea — not that there`s anything wrong with butch lesbians or ponderous speakers. But even I was waiting with bated breath for the big reveal.

MSNBC even stole a page from the CNN playbook, running a countdown clock on its screen counting down the minutes to a “Trump Taxes Exclusive.”

All eyes were on Maddow even though it was actually another reporter`s exclusive, the two pages from Trump`s 2005 federal tax return were mailed to David Cay Johnston, author of the book, “The Making of Donald Trump.”

Maddow`s publicity stunt was such an epic fail that commentators were wondering if Trump had leaked his own tax returns. The only thing we learned is that Trump made a lot of money and paid a lot in taxes,Trump couldn`t ask for better publicity or a bigger diversion from his TrumpCare disaster.

These hashtags were trending on Twitter after Maddow`s epic fail: #GeraldoRivera, #AlCapone, #LebronJames, #bitchgotplayed, #MSNBCsucks, #exclusivemyass, #fakenews

That tells you everything you need to know about the most epic fail in cable news history.

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Marco Rubio Slams Snoop Dogg Over Music Video Depicting Mock Trump Assassination

“Snoop Dogg has been criticised for shooting a toy gun at a Donald Trump character in a music video.

“Florida Senator Marco Rubio said the rap star was unwise to pretend to shoot a clown dressed as the US president in the video.

Mr Rubio told TMZ: If the wrong person sees that and gets the wrong idea, you could have a real problem.”

BBC

This is a follow up to my article:

Snoop Dogg Shoots Evil Clown Donald Trump in New Video

http://thesop.org/story/20170313/snoop-dogg-shoots-evil-clown-donald-trump-in-new-video.html

The video depicts Snoop shooting the evil Trump clown with a toy gun that releases a flag with the word “bang” written on it.

I must concede that there`s one in a billion chance that Snoop`s video might inspire a Jihadist with a sense of the absurd to shoot the real evil Trump with a toy gun that releases a flag with the word “bang” written on it when the trigger is pulled.

But when Snoop`s fans see the video they will only be inspired to munch on Cheetos, take a hit from the bong, and exclaim: Snoop is a righteous dude, I`m glad he clowning on that fat ass Trump clown.

Little Marco needs the chill the hell out, smoke a big blunt and give Snoop Dogg his well-deserved props.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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Kellyanne Conway (Inspector Gadget) is Bonkers

“CNN anchor Chris Cuomo grilled President Donald Trump`s top counselor Kellyanne Conway on Monday about the president`s unfounded surveillance claims.

When asked on Sunday by the Bergen Record about Trump`s unfounded claims that President Barack Obama wiretapped Trump Tower before the election, Conway had responded by suggesting that microwaves could be used for surveillance purposes.

In a live televised interview that lasted over 20 minutes on CNN on Monday morning, Conway appeared to slightly walk back her statement, saying she was “not Inspector Gadget” and didn`t think people used microwaves to spy on the Trump campaign.”

Business Insider

In the interview with the Bergen Record Conway asserted that there are microwaves that turn into cameras, “that is just a fact of modern life” she added for emphasis.

In an alternate universe where alternative facts are the norm, there may very well be microwave ovens that turn into cameras, but in the very real universe where we live, I`m not going to put on a clean shirt in case my microwave oven decides to take a pic of me when I nuke my popcorn.

Conway isn`t Inspector Gadget, a rocket scientist or a credible spokesperson for Donald Trump.

But even the smartest person in the world will come across like an idiot trying to explain or justify Trump`s perplexing tweets.

Former president Barack Obama didn`t wiretap Trump Tower. Period. End of story.

Trying to decipher what a Donald Trump tweet means makes as much sense as trying to explain what a Trump wet fart means in a geopolitical sense.

According to Wikipedia Inspector Gadget is dim-witted, clueless, incompetent, oblivious, and gullible. On second thought maybe Conway is Inspector Gadget.

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Snoop Dogg Shoots ‘Evil Clown’ Donald Trump In New Video

“Snoop Dogg recently jumped on a rework of BADBADNOTGOOD single Lavender. Snoop stars alongside a cast of clowns in the track`s new video. Of the clip, in which a Donald Trump parody reigns supreme-at one point announcing the deportation of all dogs-Snoop told Billboard, `Nobody`s dealing with the real issue with this f–king clown as president, and the shit that we dealing with out here, so I wanted to take time out to push pause on a party record and make one of these records for the time being.` In a climactic scene, Snoop pulls a gun on the Trump clown in a parking lot; later, a chain-bound Trump tries in vain to join Snoop and his accomplice in smoking a blunt.”

Pitchfork

Snoop Dogg is the most beloved celebrity in America; he`s adored by everybody from soccer moms to stoners to Opera aficionados to rap fans…

America is one nation under a groove, Crip-walking to the musical stylings of the Doggfather.

I can`t wait for the day when a true believer of the rap God opens the High and Holy Church of Snoop Dogg. The only sacrament observed will be the smoking of the holy herb, and every Sunday will be a high and holy day.

It`s interesting to note that the most loved man in America has nothing but disdain for the most despised man in America, Donald Trump.

We love Snoop for a hundred and one reasons, but chiefly because he keeps shit gangsta real.

Snoop doesn`t mince words when it comes to describing Trump, he calls him a fu**ing clown. In the video he pulls a gun on the Trump clown, ties him up, and doesn`t let him smoke a blunt.

You can be sure that if Snoop Dogg was President of the United States, the Trump clown would be behind bars, the poor imprisoned for minor drug offenses would be freed, and everybody would be enjoying a fat blunt.

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Nancy Pelosi: I Would Have Retired Had Hillary Clinton Won

“House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi is publicly declaring what she`s been saying privately since after the election: Had Hillary Clinton won the presidency, the longtime Democratic leader was planning to ditch Congress.

`If Hillary had won, I was ready to go home,` Pelosi told reporters Friday, saying she now is motivated to stay to protect Obamacare. `If she were there, then I would not worry about that.`”

Politico

Nancy Pelosi is the poster girl for the desperate need for congressional term limits — Botox, hair dye and plastic surgery can`t disguise the fact that she is past her expiration date.

Pelosi,77, would have been forced to retire if she were the CEO of a corporation. Democracy has gone awry when a septuagenarian who has been in Congress since 1987 is the Minority Leader of the House of Representatives instead of a greeter at Walmart.

Now we learn that Pelosi would have retired if Hillary Clinton had won, that`s like the winner of a Spend a Night with Oprah Winfrey Contest, discovering that the consolation prize was spending a night with Rosie O`Donnell.

Politics is a dirty business, and voters always get the shaft, regardless who wins.

Read More:
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/nancy-pelosi-would-have-retired-if-clinton-won-235929

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OJ Simpson Could be Free and Starring in a Reality TV Show in 2017

“OJ Simpson could be released from prison as early as October, and the buzz in the reality TV industry is that some producers are getting ready to scramble to sign him.

We`ve contacted a number of reality TV production companies, TV agents and platforms where such a show could run, and the reactions range from recoiling in disgust to pouncing on the opportunity.”

TMZ

You`d think a former jock would lift weights and get in shape behind bars, but Simpson resembles the Pillsbury Doughboy on crack: He`s a bloated, overweight hunk of crap, who tips the scale at over 300 pounds,

Not good if he wants to earn a few bucks doing porn flicks, but perfect if he wants to be a contestant on the “The Biggest Loser.” It would be perfect if somebody who is the biggest loser, in every sense of the word, won this reality show competition.

Simpson isn`t a star, and I`d be surprised if the bloated tumor could execute even the most basic dance move, but he just might win on “Dancing with the Stars.” The judges would be terrified of giving him low scores, for fear he might stab them to death.

How about “RuPaul`s Drag Race”? I can see OJ as America`s next drag superstar. Behind bars OJ doesn`t have access to white women he can rape and decapitate, he probably knocked boots with the jailhouse drag queens. He must have picked up a tip or two along the way, I`m sure he would make a terrific heavyweight drag star.

I realize the idea of Simpson as a reality TV star makes most of my readers want to vomit, but if we can get used to the idea of a reality TV show clown as the Leader of the Free World, we can get used to anything.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

White House: Intruder Arrested on Grounds While Trump at Residence

“The U.S. Secret Service says a person is under arrest after climbing a fence and getting onto the south grounds of the White House.

The breach happened at 11:38 p.m. Friday. President Donald Trump was at the White House.

The agency says the individual – whom it did not identify – was arrested without further incident. No hazardous materials were found during a search of a backpack the individual carried.”

Los Angeles Times

Instead of building a border wall between Mexico and the United States that would cost billions and severely strain our relationship with our good neighbor, President Trump should spend a few millions to build a solid wall around the White House grounds.

Anyone can scale the fence around the White House and gain instant notoriety and dominate a news cycle, and indeed it`s not an uncommon occurrence.

But post-9/11 this is unacceptable, the trespasser who was arrested after he breached security didn`t have a bomb or weapons in his backpack, but the next intruder might be a suicide bomber.

The intruder jumped the fence without being observed, he wasn`t detected until he was approached by a uniformed Secret Service officer. If an individual jumped a fence protecting the mansion of a movie star he would immediately be detected and grabbed by bodyguards, Trump may be a reality TV star, but he`s also the Leader of the Free World and the security at the White House is a joke.

If a suicide bomber jumped the White House fence he probably wouldn`t be able to get close enough to the president to kill him, but if he managed to blow himself up inside the grounds, the harm to the prestige and reputation of the United States would be incalculable.

Donald Trump you`re a builder: BUILD THE WALL NOW!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Canadian Dude Crazy for Mozzarella Sticks

“A delivery receipt from a Toronto eatery is going viral after the customer used the comments section to defend their need for mozzarella sticks.

The receipt from Fresco`s Fish & Chips, which went viral thanks to a photo posted to Reddit, shows the customer ordered three servings of mozzarella sticks, in addition to fried pickles, slaw, and Diet Coke.

The receipt`s comments section reads: Yes — I meant to order 3 mozzarella sticks. Please don`t judge me. I`m having a bad week and was so excited they were back on the menu.”

UPI

Unless the delivery person was renowned health food nut Michelle Obama, the customer shouldn`t have felt compelled to justify his order of three entrees of mozzarella sticks totaling $21.

Nothing satisfies the belly and soothes the spirit quite like pigging out on your favorite comfort food. Sometimes I order two Whoppers, supersized fries, and a Diet Coke, and I don`t apologize.

However, I would feel a need to justify ordering fried pickles. Is that Canadian delicacy an acquired taste, kind of like loving Nickleback?

I love me some mozzarella sticks, but if I ate fried pickles I would keep it on the down low.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/10/Toronto-delivery-customer-Dont-judge-me-for-mozzarella-sticks/6791489177523/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=4

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Outrage: Leslie Jones Calls Ben Carson an ‘Expletive Deleted’ Face!

“America`s new Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Ben Carson, fired up a bit of controversy during his first day on the job Wednesday, when he likened slaves brought to America with today`s illegal immigrants.

“Saturday Night Live” cast member Leslie Jones was livid with Carlson over the comparison. Just to make sure no one missed her point, she called him “f**kface” on Twitter:

I want to fight Ben Carson!! Cash me outside muthafucka! How bout dat!! #slaveswerenoimmigrants FUCKFACE!!”

Independent Journal Review

Ben Carson is a renowned world-class brain surgeon, but he`s unqualified to be the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. He doesn`t know Jack about public housing, and he seems to know little about the dreadful history of slavery in America. Comparing slaves to immigrants makes as much sense as comparing a crackhead offering to clean your windshield for a buck to an independent small businessman.

Leslie Jones is a semi-literate, vulgar so-called comic who has more physical resemblance to a gorilla than a human being. She should think twice before calling anyone a fu**face; if you look up fu**face in a dictionary of slang you will see Jones` mugshot.

If telling the truth is racist, then I guess that this Hispanic who has published hundreds of anti-racism essays is a racist.

I will fight racism and political-correctness until the day I die.

I realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but look at this pic of Leslie Jones and Ben Carson, be honest, who is the one who looks like a fu**face?

http://ijr.com/2017/03/821130-snls-leslie-jones-wants-to-fight-fkface-ben-carson-over-immigrant-comparison-obama-also-made/

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Malik Obama Shares Photo of Brother Barack Obama’s Kenya Birth Certificate

“An Obama has joined the birther movement.

Malik Obama, Barack Obama`s half-brother, tweeted image of what appears to be Barack`s birth certificate.

Except it`s not from Hawaii, but rather Kenya.

`What`s this?` he tweeted.

The document is from the `Coast Province General Hospital` in Mombasa, British Protectorate of Kenya, and is for Barack Hussein Obama II, who was born on the `4th day of August, 1961.`”

American Mirror

“President Obama was born in the United States, period.”

Donald Trump, September 2016

Donald Trump, one of the original birthers, conceded out of political expediency that Barack Hussein Obama was born in the United States during the general election.

President Obama born in the United States, period? Not so much!

Malik Obama, Obama`s half-brother, posted what appears to be Barack`s Kenya birth certificate.

Unlike Barack Obama, Malik isn`t African-American or biracial, he`s a full-blooded African, and he can`t be accused of being a racist for pointing out the obvious: Barack Obama was born in Kenya.

Is this an authentic birth certificate? Who the hell knows, just like who the hell knows if the long form birth certificate that Obama posted online in 2011 is genuine.

Barack Hussein Obama never submitted what he claims to be his original birth certificate to document experts for examination. If you believe that Obama`s birth certificate is real, I have a title deed to the Statue of Liberty that I am willing to sell you for only $1,000.

President Barack Obama was born in the United States, period? Bitch please!

Pic of Obama`s Kenya birth certificate:

http://www.theamericanmirror.com/malik-obama-shares-photo-brother-baracks-kenya-certificate-birth/

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Alameda City Council Calls for President Trump’s Impeachment

Tuesday night the Alameda City Council passed a resolution asking Congress to investigate whether to impeach President Trump.

The island city of Alameda isn`t a liberal bastion, like the cities that surround it: The People`s Republic of Berkeley, Oakland and San Francisco.

Trump is only two months into his administration, and already there`s talk of impeachment, it`s only a matter of time before dozens, if not hundreds, of municipalities introduce impeachment resolutions.

City councils have no actual authority to call for an impeachment, but they can send a message: Enough with the inflammatory tweets and clownish behavior.

I`ll be the first to admit that city councils should focus their energy and attention on fixing potholes, affordable housing and fighting crime, but somebody needs to speak truth to power.

I lived in the beautiful city of Alameda for a few years, and this bold action is sparking a desire to return for a vacation.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes