robert paul reyes

Homemade Face Masks Are as Effective as a Fishnet Condom

The coronavirus pandemic has deepened the ideological divide, wearing or refusing to wear a face mask has become a political statement. Most Democrats consider wearing a face mask a socially responsible action to flatten the curve and an expression of the Golden Rule: Do unto others …

Trump supporters consider a face mask the equivalent of a Che Guevara T-shirt, and they view going out in public maskless an expression of freedom, liberty and fealty to their Maskless Messiah.

I will contemplate face masks in the age of a pandemic from a scientific and common-sense lens and not a political one.

Not all masks are of equal efficacy in protecting us from the coronavirus, far from it.

N95 masks are the gold standard, they provide maximum protection and effectively prevent viral spread. When properly fitted they filter out 95% of particles which are 0.3 microns in size or larger.

In a perfect world no citizen would leave his home without donning an N95 mask and it’s a crying shame that our government didn’t have a stockpile of these masks to protect every citizen.

There is a chronic shortage of N95 masks even for physicians and first responders, and therefore it would be highly irresponsible and selfish for a citizen who isn’t a first responder, physician or nurse to wear one.

Surgical masks are the silver standard, these type of masks allow about 70% of the outside air to move through the mask and 30% travels around the sides. They don’t offer as much protection as N95s, but they do provide a modicum of protection. Unfortunately, there’s also a severe shortage of surgical masks.

Professionally manufactured fabric masks are the bronze standard, only about 2% of airflow is obstructed. I wouldn’t discourage anyone from buying these masks from Amazon or any online retailer.

Lastly, there are the homemade cloth masks an they are the shit standard. They provide zero protection for the person wearing one, and minimal protection for those around him. A homemade mask is as efficient as a fishnet condom. Period. End of story! They give a person a false sense of security and may even embolden him to disregard social distancing guidelines.

We shouldn’t be clamoring for everyone to wear a face mask in public, we should be demanding that our government provide us with 95masks, or at least surgical masks.

Trump is Wrong! White Evangelical Churches are as Essential as Soiled Underwear

“President Donald Trump said Friday that places of worship are essential and should open this weekend, threatening to override governors who have ordered churches, synagogues and mosques not to reopen in the coming days.

“Some governors have deemed liquor stores and abortion clinics as essential, but have left out churches and other houses of worship. It’s not right,” Trump said during impromptu remarks to reporters. ‘So I’m correcting this injustice and calling houses of worship essential. I call upon governors to allow our churches and places of worship to open right now.’”

NBC News

Some polls show that Donald Trump’s evangelical support is slipping, it’s not surprised that he felt compelled to personally read this proclamation from the White House Press Briefing Room.

Never mind that Trump has never considered houses of worship essential and the only times he attends church is on Christmas and Easter. Trump doesn’t have a history of donating money to build churches, but he has gone bankrupt building and operating casinos. The only buildings Trump finds essential are the one that bring in revenue for himself.

Never mind that Trump has no authority to override governors, it’s up to them to decide when places of worship and other buildings can open for business. Yes, I am implying that churches are places of business, no different than malls, and other revenue-producing businesses.

Never mind that most governors have relaxed their stay-at-home orders and most places of worship are already open subject to social distancing guidelines.

Never mind that evangelical megachurches are the very definition of non-essential enterprises, especially in the midst of a pandemic. These so-called houses of worship are spreading misinformation about the coronavirus and vehemently defending the commander-in-chief who has totally screwed up his response to the pandemic.

Evangelical churches are as essential as the buffoon false messiah they worship and we would be better off if these houses of Satan were closed during the pandemic.

Nancy Pelosi Wasn’t Fat Shaming Fat Pig Trump When She Called Him ‘Morbidly Obese’

“I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group, and in his, shall we say, weight group: ‘Morbidly obese,’ they say,”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Pres. Trump’s revelation he is taking hydroxychloroquine.

Let me preface my remarks by stating unapologetically that fat people deserve to be fat shamed, obesity is aesthetically revolting and medically speaking a very unhealthy state of affairs.

It’s psychologically and medically damaging for an obese person to refuse to lose weight and wrap himself/herself in body acceptance tomfoolery.

Having said that, Pelosi didn’t indulge in fat shaming, “morbidly obese” is a medical term not a playground insult. Calling Trump, a “fat pig” or an “orange-faced blimp” are genuine examples of fat shaming.

It’s amusing to see conservatives come to the defense of Trump and accuse Pelosi of fat shaming, when the president has repeatedly called female celebrities “fat pigs” and compared them to dogs.

Bottom line: Trump is an old fat fart who should be last person touting a quack cure for the coronavirus.

We Must Socially Distance Ourselves From Donald Trump

I protect myself from contracting the coronavirus by practicing social distancing, wearing a mask in public and washing my hands thoroughly and frequently. I’m a senior citizen with several underlying medical conditions and it’s imperative that I take the threat seriously.

Donald Trump is more toxic and deadly than the COVID-19 virus and even someone like me who despises him and doesn’t believe a word he says, must socially distance himself for him to preserve his sanity.

In practical terms that means that I don’t follow the stable genius on Twitter nor do I read his tweets. Trump’s tweets aren’t informative, educational or inspiring, on the contrary they’re vulgar, divisive and disingenuous.

That also means I don’t watch the president’s propaganda arm, Fox News. They amplify Trump’s lies and justify his incoherent policies and repugnant behavior. I prefer to watch cable news networks that practice fact-based journalism and hold Trump accountable for his myriad mistakes and lies.

If I succumb to the coronavirus because I was lax in practicing social distancing and washing my hands frequently, I have only myself to blame. If I become infected with Trump’s xenophobia, racism, misogyny and just plain evil because I read his tweets and watched his fluffers on Fox News, I have only myself to blame.

For the love of God, until Trump is kicked to the curb on November, socially distance yourself from the toxic monster.

James Woods: ‘Trump Loves America More Than Any President in my Lifetime’

“Donald Trump is a rough individual. He is vain, insensitive and raw. But he loves America more than any President in my lifetime.”

James Woods Hollywood actor best known in recent years for kissing Trump’s ass

Donald Trump is anathema in Hollywood as he is most of America and he receives precious few compliments from celebrities. Even Trump’s diehard supporters can’t bring themselves to praise him unreservedly and Woods heaped praise on him but not before acknowledging that his hero is vain insensitive and raw.

Trump retweeted Woods’ tweet, stating:

“I think that is a great compliment. Thank you, James!”

Only a sociopath egomaniac authoritarian leader would consider being called vain, insensitive and raw a compliment. Trump considers being self-centered, insensitive to the needs of his constituents and raw or vulgar good qualities.

It’s axiomatic that Trump doesn’t love America, he loves only his base and he loves them only because they support him unreservedly.

The truth is that Trump loves red state America i.e. rednecks, white evangelicals, misogynists and racists more than any president in history.

In his first, and hopefully last term, in office Trump has shown his true colors so much that he has been embraced by Nazis, white supremacists and morons like James Wood.

I’m praying that Woods and his ilk are in a minority and that Joe Biden will be victorious in November.

To Defeat the Coronavirus We Must Ditch the Maskless Wonder Donald Trump

Donald Trump, the self-described stable genius, visited a medical equipment distribution facility in Allentown, Pennsylvania, to tout a plan to replenish and upgrade the vital federal stockpile.

It wasn’t Trump’s mouth that resembles a sphincter, his hair that looks like urine-soaked cotton candy, or his unnatural orange complexion that makes him look like a survivor of a nuclear attack that made him stick out like a sore thumb. It was the fact that Trump and his chief of staff Mark Meadows were the only ones in the huge complex who weren’t wearing a face mask.

The CDC emphasizes that in order to flatten the curve of the coronavirus pandemic it’s imperative that Americans practice social distancing, wash their hands thoroughly and frequently and wear face masks in public.

Trump should have used this photo op to encourage the public to don face masks in public by wearing one himself.  The president and his top aides don’t practice what the CDC and all reputable physicians preach. Last week, a maskless Vice President Mike Pence visited with staff and patients at the Mayo Clinic, despite hospital policy that requires all patients and visitors to wear one.

Trump isn’t interested in following the guidance of his medical professionals, he cares only about pandering to his ignorant, science-denying base. And many of his followers think the coronavirus pandemic is a hoax, and they believe in the conspiracy theory that wearing a mask reduces the intake of oxygen, forcing them to breathe in their own carbon dioxide.

The coronavirus pandemic will be with us for months, and maybe years to come and we desperately need a leader who believes in science, sets the right tone and has empathy for his constituents in charge. This November kick the incompetent buffoon to the curb and vote for Joe Biden.

May 2020 Archives Page Two:

May 2020 Archives Page Two

If Joe Biden Doesn’t Escape From His Basement He’s Going to Lose to Donald Trump

Joe Biden famously boasted that he wanted to take Donald Trump to the back of the barn over his comments about women. The mental image of this epic physical confrontation between these septuagenarians isn’t very appealing. By the time these geezers got to the back of the barn they would be so winded that they would be leaning on each other for support.

Biden caught a break when the social distancing guidelines made running a conventional presidential campaign impossible; I don’t think he could survive the physical and mental rigors of running for office.

Biden and Trump have been forced to run social media campaigns, and that gives the incumbent an advantage. Trump thrives in the cesspool of Twitter and his 80 million followers on his favorite social media platform religiously read his tweets. By comparison Biden has only 5 million followers on Twitter and I doubt if most of them check out his feed more than once a month.

The 77-year-old Biden is conducting his campaign from his basement and he has as much impact as a high school kid operating his YouTube Star Trek appreciation channel from his parents’ basement.

Biden is absolutely clueless when it comes to running a virtual campaign. Biden doesn’t know Zoom, Skype or FaceTime for a bottle of Geritol and it shows. The indecipherable commentary, the staring blankly waiting for a prompt, the gaffes! Dear God it’s a veritable shitshow!

Upon further review, Biden didn’t catch a break when the coronavirus pandemic forced the presidential candidates to go virtual. Even if Biden keels over from hitting the road and speaking to small crowds, he needs to escape from his basement.

Trump’s administration has been an unmitigated disaster and he’s the worst president in history, but if Biden doesn’t leave his basement and conduct a conventional campaign he will lose.

Patriots, Including True Christians, Must Destroy Trump and His White Evangelical Followers

“Howard Stern claimed that President Trump actually despises his biggest supporters and the radio talk show host said he hates the people who voted for the commander-in-chief.

‘I don’t hate Donald,’ Stern said on his Sirius XM Radio show Tuesday, according to Newsweek. ‘I hate you for voting for him, for not having intelligence. For not being able to see what’s going on with the coronavirus, for not being able to see what the Justice Department is doing. I hate you, I don’t want you here.’”

New York Post

White evangelicals love and worship Donald Trump, their fealty and dedication to their false messiah is greater than their love for Jesus Christ.

Jesus has no love for white evangelicals who support Trump because they exalt and praise a short-fingered vulgarian whose speech, behavior and policies are diametrically opposed to his teachings.

And Trump has no love for white evangelicals, in fact he despises their stupidity, religiosity and family values.

When Trump takes a few days off he doesn’t seek the company of evangelicals, he goes to his golf resorts to fellowship with fellow millionaires and billionaires.

Jesus doesn’t commune with white evangelicals; he hates their hypocrisy and reprobate behavior. You won’t find the Spirit of Christ in evangelical megachurches, but you will find him in storefront churches where believers are thirsty for his Word.

Howard Stern may love Donald Trump but hate his followers, I hate Donald Trump and his followers.

It’s incumbent upon patriots, including true Christians, to kick Trump to the curb on November and to fight the racism, misogyny and intolerance of white evangelicals for the rest of their lives.

Pence to Keep Distance From Trump! Oh, the Separation Anxiety!

“US Vice President Mike Pence, whose press secretary tested positive for coronavirus, has decided to ‘keep his distance’ from President Donald Trump for a few days, the White House said Tuesday.

Katie Miller, Pence’s press secretary, tested positive for the virus last week along with a personal valet to Trump.”

AFP

The coronavirus stay-at-home orders are a difficult adjustment for most Americans, we miss our work colleagues, friends and vulnerable elderly relatives.

But imagine how difficult it is for Vice President Mike Pence who has decided to keep his distance from President Donald Trump for a few days. Pence’s mouth is permanently affixed to Trump’s fat butt and it will require the skills of a plumber to pull them apart.

Whenever Trump delivers a speech Pence is always right behind smiling beatifically at him. Pence will suffer severe separation anxiety and will require psychiatric therapy. Maybe the sycophant can foster an orangutan with a red bottom to serve as a surrogate until he can resume his default position kissing Trump’s ass.

At least America’s most famous yes man still has Mother, he can chastely and platonically kiss her until he is reunited with his Rubenesque lover.  

World Mourns the Death of the Double Rainbow Guy

Paul L. Vasquez became a supernova when a video of him spotting a double rainbow went viral. Paul’s transcendent joy upon witnessing the double rainbow, manifested in sobs and laughs and complete wonderment, mesmerized and enthralled millions around the world.

Vasquez would go on to be known as “Double Rainbow Guy”, a moniker more impressive than Leader of the Free World or Pontiff. Regardless of their religious affiliation most souls would rather spend a minute with the Double Rainbow Guy than an hour with the Pope, Franklin Graham or any other religious leader.

Vasquez died over the weekend ten years after his landmark video was posted on YouTube. Only Jesus Christ enlightened more souls than the Double Rainbow Guy in such a short period of time.

The Double Rainbow Guy’s video can only be compared to the Sermon on the Mount for its sheer power to transform lives.

Surely there’s a pot of gold or at least a stash of weed at the end of the rainbow for this spiritual dude.

Republican Candidates Risk Losing by Defending Trump

“Earlier this month, the Senate Republican campaign arm circulated a memo with shocking advice to GOP candidates on responding to coronavirus: “Don’t defend Trump, other than the China Travel Ban — attack China.”

The Trump campaign was furious.

On Monday — just days after POLITICO first reported the existence of the memo — Trump political adviser Justin Clark told NRSC executive director Kevin McLaughlin that any Republican candidate who followed the memo’s advice shouldn’t expect the active support of the reelection campaign and risked losing the support of Republican voters.”

Politico

Donald Trump expects unquestioned loyalty from Republican senators, and even a nuanced criticism of his policies results in automatic condemnation on Twitter.

Trump’s dementia has taken a toll on his mental acuity, but he remembers every perceived slight and he’s not one to forgive and forget.

Therefore, Trump was outraged at the Senate Republican campaign arm for circulated a memo advising Republican Senators running for reelection not to defend him.

It should be noted that it’s not unusual for senators and congresspeople running for reelection to distance themselves from the incumbent president of their own party. Even popular presidents, like Obama, make mistakes during their tenure and politicians usually run touting their own merits.

Trump’s base will remain faithful to their false messiah, come hell or high water. But after Trump’s disastrous management of the coronavirus pandemic, I expect more than a few Republican senators to practice social distancing from the president.

Trump is a stinking pile of dung and he’s made such a mess out the coronavirus pandemic that fewer and fewer Republicans will risk losing their seats by defending the indefensible.

What Will Trump Do When He Leaves Office?

President Donald Trump’s days in power are numbered, to his great disappointment he’s not a dictator for life, and one day he will leave the white House, whether it happens in January 2021 or four years from now.

The functional-illiterate buffoon isn’t going to spend his last years on this Earth writing his memoirs, he’ll pay someone to write his autobiography.

He won’t while away his years in retirement planning his presidential library, as long as the building has a huge golden Trump sign he really doesn’t care about the architectural style or the materials and records it will hold.

He won’t become the elder statesman of the Republican Party, because he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the GOP’s ideology or future success and Republicans won’t want anything to do with him when he’s no longer in power.

The only thing we know for sure is that Trump isn’t leaving the spotlight until his ticker finally gives out. He might make a return to reality TV or possibly start his own cable news network.

He will definitely not terminate his Twitter account, he will attack his successor on his favorite social media platform, whether it’s Biden next year or Mike Pence four years from now.

We won’t be free from Trump’s big mouth until the Grim Reaper drags his obese stinking corpse to hell.

Trump Wants to Paint the Border Wall Black

“President Donald Trump has requested the border wall, one of his signature campaign promises, be painted black, a proposal that could cost hundreds of millions of dollars, according to a new report.

The Washington Post reported Wednesday Trump had ordered the border wall to be painted black in order to make it look more imposing and to make it too hot to touch during the summer.

According to estimates obtained by the Post, the cost of painting the wall black would range from $500 million for acrylic paint to over $3 billion for a powder coating on the wall.

USA Today

Nero fiddled while Rome burned and if it weren’t political suicide Trump would be golfing while the coronavirus pandemic destroys our economy and kills tens of thousands of Americans.

Since he can’t indulge in his favorite pastime the stable genius is pondering painting the border wall black to make it look more imposing and to make it too hot to touch during the summer.

At a time then millions of Americans are jobless and struggling to pay the rent Trump wants to waste millions, perhaps billions, to paint the border wall black. That money would be better spent providing food, medicine and clothing to the needy.

To those running away from persecution in their countries and seeking a better life in America, it doesn’t matter if the wall is black, silver or neon pink. They will climb over the wall, or tunnel under it, regardless of the damn color of the obstacle that’s keeping them from the land of freedom and opportunity.

I’m reminded of the song “Paint it Black” by one of Trump’s favorite rock bands, The Rolling Stones:

 I look inside myself and see my heart is black

I see my red door, I must have it painted black

Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts

It’s not easy facing up, when your whole world is black

Trump, your heart is pitch black and I’m not surprised you want to paint everything black, but your days are numbered. The black cloud that hovers over America will disappear when we kick you out of office.

Paula Reid Responds to Trump Comparing Her to Donna Reed

“In an interview on Monday with the New York Post, President Donald Trump was asked about his contentious relationship with the media — particularly CBS News’ Paula Reid. Here’s how he responded:

‘It wasn’t Donna Reed, I can tell you that. … Paula Reid, she’s sitting there and I say, ‘How angry. I mean, What’s the purpose?’ They’re not even tough questions, but you see the attitude of these people, it’s like incredible.”

CNN

The septuagenarian president’s cultural references predate the hip hop generation and sometimes even the rock and roll generation. Trump’s campaign slogan in 2016 was “Make America Great Again” and in the midst of the race The New York Times asked him when the last time he believed America was great, and he answered:

“I would say during the 1940s and the late ’40s and ’50s we started getting, we were not pushed around, we were respected by everybody, we had just won a war, we were pretty much doing what we had to do, yeah around that period.”

Trump believes the golden age of America was the 50’s when our country was demographically and culturally homogeneous. On the silver screen all of the matinee idols were white and on the small screen all of the programs featured all-white casts.

Paula Reid famously clashed with the stable genius a couple of times during the White House coronavirus task force briefings and she is still living rent free in his mind. Trump unfavorably compared Reid to the iconic TV star who played housewife Donna Stone on “The Donna Reed Show” that ran on ABC from 1958-1966.

You are correct Trump, Paula Reid is no Donna Reid or June Cleaver, she’s more like a Roseanne Conner or Murphy Brown. Reid isn’t going to just look pretty and stylish like Donna Reed and remain quiet in deference to her male colleagues. Like the fictional investigative journalist Murphy Brown, she’s going to ask you hard and probing questions.

I will end this essay with Reid’s tweet in response to Trump’s insult:

President Trump tells @nypost I am nothing like 50’s American archetypal mom Donna Reed.  Fact-check: True.

John Legend: ‘Trump is the Exact Opposite of What We Need Right Now’ Amen!

In an interview with GQ Hype John Legend said that “Donald Trump is the exact opposite of what we need right now.”

Amen, John Legend, Amen!

Under the best circumstances we don’t need Trump screwing things up and during a global pandemic he is the exact opposite of what we need.

During a health crisis that has devastated our economy and taken the lives of tens of thousands of Americans we need the president to act as the comforter-in-chief. Unfortunately, Trump is a sociopath incapable of empathizing with the suffering and pain of others. In his public statements Trump has made the coronavirus pandemic all about himself, he complains that he hasn’t received enough gratitude from the governors for the help that the federal government has rendered and he berates the press for not praising his management of the crisis.

During an existential crisis we need a leader who is calm and sober-minded, what we have in Trump is a narcissist who is unable to contain his rage against his critics, the media and scientists and physicians who won’t back up his foolish and dangerous contention that America is ready to open the economy and that the virus has been contained.

At this critical juncture in our history we need a statesman who is if not eloquent, then at least a good communicator. Trump is functionally-illiterate, and the last thing we need are his belligerent rants and incoherent stream-of-consciousness musings.

During a pandemic we need a manager who knows how to delegate authority and who will defer to the advice and counsel of physicians and scientists. Not a jackass who plays a doctor on TV and peddles fake cures and suggests that injecting coronavirus patients with disinfectants will cure them.

No shit, Donald Trump is the exact opposite of what we need right now. This virus will be with us for months if not years, just remember that when you vote this November.

‘Jesus is My Vaccine’ Signs Expose the Ignorance of White Evangelicals

There have been protests to reopen the economy in several states, and the protesters are the usual suspects: militia members, white evangelicals, Tea Party activists, white supremacists and antivaccination activists. These assorted nuts are vehemently opposed to the common sense measures that governors have taken to stop the spread of the coronavirus.

In these rallies signs proclaiming “Jesus is my vaccine” are ubiquitous, these protesters aren’t shy about exposing their ignorance to the world.

Faith in Jesus and two bucks won’t buy you a cup of coffee at Starbucks, let alone protect you from the coronavirus. The virus is no respecter of persons, it infects Muslims, Jews, mainstream Christians and nutjob white evangelicals at the same rate.

I wonder if some of those morons brandishing “Jesus is my vaccine” signs are referring to Donald Trump their false messiah, and not Jesus Christ. After all, these fools not only drink the Kool-Aid but swallow disinfectant to inoculate them from the virus, per the suggestion of their Dear Leader.

The temptation is to dismiss their ignorance and just rest in the knowledge that their misguided faith will result in cleaning up the gene pool. But their stupidity affects all of us, their defiance of social distancing and refusal to take vaccines for any disease spreads the coronavirus.

Jesus is my vaccine? I’m sorry, but there’s no vaccine against ignorance and stupidity!

Being a Trump Speechwriter is the Most Frustrating Job in the World

Being a speechwriter for Donald Trump must be the most frustrating job in the world.

To begin with the functional-illiterate Trump believes he’s the most eloquent and articulate speaker in the world and he won’t hesitate to stray from the words written by those he considers his intellectual inferiors.

The stable genius doesn’t care about impressing pundits, politicians or college professors, he cares only about pandering to his base and he won’t think twice about disregarding the words written for him and speaking redneck to drive his followers into a frenzy.

A moron should never ad-lib, but that’s what Trump does best and I’m sure that his speeches bear little resemblance to the ones that were written by his speechwriters. Trump has a tendency to go off on a tangent and pontificate on subjects he knows nothing about.

Writing a speech for the fucking moron is like writing a speech for a dyslexic person with poor vision. I imagine no Trump speechwriter brags to his loved ones, “I wrote that speech” after the president delivers one of his tradmark incoherent and rambling speeches.

Trump Ends Daily Coronavirus Briefings, Blaming the Media

Every day for the past month Donald Trump held a press briefing on the coronavirus pandemic. The daily ritual soon developed a familiar formula: the scientists and physicians on the coronavirus response team would update the public on the status of the fight against the virus and instruct the public on steps we could take to flatten the curve, and then Trump would take the podium to contradict and refute them, berate the reporters and heap praise upon himself.

In spite of the nonsense Trump spouted and the fake cures that he promoted, we put up with Trump’s narcissism to listen to the advice and information provided by the preeminent coronavirus expert in the world, Dr. Anthony Fauci and the other physicians on the team.

And then came that fateful day when Trump went too far and suggested that injected a coronavirus patient with disinfectants might cure him. Trump was universally ridiculed and criticized, even by some Republican politicians and pundits.

Finally, Trump’s aides who had been cajoling and pleading with him to end his daily briefings prevailed, and he stopped having daily coronavirus briefings. Did the thick-headed egomaniac finally see a relation between his nose-diving poll numbers and his boastful and bitter performances at these daily briefings?

Of course, Trump blamed the media for ending his daily briefings, tweeting:

“What is the purpose of having White House News Conferences when the Lamestream Media asks nothing but hostile questions, & then refuses to report the truths or facts accurately. They get record ratings, & the American people get nothing but Fake News. Not worth the time and effort!”

The perfect solution would have been for the daily coronavirus briefings to continue without Trump, but he sees himself as the only person worth listening to and put a stop to the whole thing.

Trump loves the spotlight too much and I’m predicting that before long he will resume the daily briefings. For a few minutes of meaningful information and valuable advice from the experts, we will once again have to put up with the interminable bloviating from the orange buffoon.

Can You Imagine Trump Revealing That Extraterrestrials Are Real?

On Monday, the Pentagon released three videos depicting UFO’s executing flying maneuvers that defy the laws of physics. Some people are wondering if the government is preparing us for the greatest reveal in human history: extraterrestrials are real and they’ve made contact with us.

When our president is suggests that injecting or swallowing disinfectants may kill the coronavirus, naturally we all hope there’s intelligent life somewhere in the universe.

According to Wikipedia The Milky Way contains between 100 and 400 billion stars and at least 100 billion planets, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to deduce that there’s probably intelligent extraterrestrial beings.

I’m praying that extraterrestrials will never make contact with us, because if an alien says “take me to your leader” and we introduce him to grotesquely obese Donald Trump with his urine-colored hair and mouth that looks like a sphincter, he may just destroy our planet.

I don’t think the Pentagon has proof that extraterrestrials have visited our planet, because Trump wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut. If Trump had proof that extraterrestrials are real can you imagine him at his next press conference:

My fellow Americans, I will soon make the most important announcement in history. No king, president or dictator has ever made such a huge and mindboggling proclamation as I will make sometime before the election. When I make this bigly revelation, I will win in the biggest landslide in American history.  

According to The New York Post the Grotesquely Obese Trump is so Busy He Doesn’t Have Time to Eat Lunch

Donald Trump could probably spare himself from an ulcer or two and reduce his risk of a stroke or heart attack if he didn’t read the New York Time. Unfortunately, for him the Times prints all the news that’s fit to print, including the myriad mistakes and missteps of the utterly corrupt and inept Trump administration.

Recently the newspaper of record printed a story that detailed Trump’s daily routine during the coronavirus pandemic – including the fact that he “arrives in the Oval Office these days as late as noon when he is usually in a sour mood after his morning marathon of television.”

Trump immediately responded on his medium of choice, Twitter:

“I work from early in the morning until late at night, haven’t left the White House in many months (except to launch Hospital Ship Comfort) in order to take care of Trade Deals, Military Rebuilding etc., and then I read a phony story in the failing @nytimes about my work …”

True to form Trump’s sycophants in the White House immediately lied to cover up the fact that their boss is a lazy liar. These “yes men” spoke to the other major New York newspaper, The New York Post, that has only a fraction of the credibility of the New York Times. Here’s what these stooges told the Post:

New chief of staff Mark Meadows maintains that his biggest concern in his new job is making sure Trump gets some time to get a quick bite to eat. An unnamed source said that “there are times when lunch isn’t even a thought. A lot of time there’s either no time for lunch or there is 10 minutes for lunch.”

The stable genius spends his morning hours indulging in his favorite executive pastime of watching the morning cable news shows and snacking on junk food. By the time he walks into the Oval Office he is full of piss and vinegar from enduring the objective reporting on CNN and MSNBC that accurately depicts him as a corrupt and feckless buffoon.

The reporting of the New York Times is spot on, all you have to do is take one look at the grotesquely obese Trump to discern that the lazy POS spends all his time watching TV, and that he never misses any breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Joe Biden’s Tweet ‘I Can’t Believe I Have to Say This, But Please Don’t Drink Bleach’ Most Liked Tweet of the Year

“I can’t believe I have to say this, but please don’t drink bleach,”

Joe Biden Tweet

Biden posted this “No Shit” tweet one day after the very stable genius suggested scientists investigate whether they could inject coronavirus patients with disinfectants as a treatment.

Scientists, physicians, pundits and politicians have uttered the phrase “I can’t believe I have to say this”, more than once after a Trump statement about the coronavirus pandemic.

At the beginning of the pandemic how many times did we hear authority figures exclaim “I can’t believe I have to say this”, when Trump said that there were only 15 cases of COVID-19 and it would soon be zero. Or when the president exclaimed, “One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear.”

Unfortunately, we must continue to preface our responses to Trump’s idiotic comments by saying, “I can’t believe I have to say this” because his followers are so gullible and just plain moronic.

Trump’s white evangelical base believes in miracles and the religious fanatics really believe their false messiah when he proclaims that one day the coronavirus pandemic will disappear, like a miracle.

It’s very dangerous when someone who isn’t a physician plays one on TV, especially when he’s an utter buffoon who happens to be the president of the United States.

I can’t believe I have to say this, but don’t drink bleach. Stick with your Kool-Aid you freaking idiot Trump supporters.

Trump Cultists, Go Ahead and Put Down the Kool-Aid and Swallow the Lysol

By virtue of the fact that Donald Trump is the President of the United States and the Leader of the Free World, we can’t dismiss out-of-hand every toxic tweet, incoherent statement and rambling speech.

But by the same token we’d be foolish to accept his every utterance as the Gospel truth worthy of serious consideration.

Old age, mental illness and just plain ugliness have taken a toll on the mind of the stable genius and he would be well-advised to carefully weigh his words and whenever possible stick to a prepared statement. Needless to say, a statement prepared by an aide who still has control of his mental faculties.

We all know how Trump rolls: he speaks without a filter and utters whatever vile, racist or idiotic thought has been germinating in his addled mind.

So, when Trump suggested to the scientists and physicians on his coronavirus response team that they should look into the possibility that injecting a person with disinfectant might kill the coronavirus, I just said to myself: There goes the fucking moron speaking out of his ass again.

Trying to make sense out of Trump’s vain babblings makes as much sense as trying to capture his farts in a bottle so they can be used as the main ingredient in perfume.

Unfortunately, Trump’s white evangelical base treats his every speech as the Sermon on the Mount, and his cultists are doubtless putting down their cups of Kool-Aid and looking under their kitchen sinks for disinfectant to inject or swallow. The world will end for these religious fanatics not with a bang or a whimper, but a gasp.

Is Kim Jong-un a Vegetable? Let’s Hope So!

Kim Jong Un’s health appears could be more serious than initially believed, according to reports.

Japanese magazine Shukan Gendai reported that Kim collapsed during a visit to a rural area in April. Kim reportedly required a stent procedure following the incident.

Shukan Gendai subsequently detailed how the surgeon in charge of Kim’s operation was not used to dealing with obese patients and was too nervous during the operation, leading to delays that left Kim in a ‘vegetative state.’

Fox News

North Korea is called the “Hermit Kingdom” for good reason, it’s almost impossible for outsiders to know what’s going on in the secretive country.

At first reports indicated that the Dear Leader was gravely ill following heart surgery, and now according to this Fox News article Kim is in a vegetative state after he collapsed during a visit to a rural area which required a stent procedure. You might as well read a pig’s entrails to try to discern the medical condition of the bloated dictator.

Reports indicated the surgeon in charge of Kim’s operation was not used to dealing with grotesquely obese patients and was too nervous during the operation which may have led to the dictator being rendered in a vegetative state. True the doctor may have been nervous because he didn’t have any experience operating on a whale, but I reckon the real reason he was so nervous is that he knew he would likely be killed if he botched the procedure.

Our world has been turned upside down because of the coronavirus pandemic and well can all use some good news. Kim has ordered hundred of thousands of his fellow countrymen to be killed, tortured and maimed; it would be poetic justice if he’s a vegetable.

Little Kim is a giant pile of steaming hot shit, and the doctors shouldn’t wait until he’s pronounced dead; he should be put through a meat grinder and his remains used as fertilizer.

Rosie O’Donnell Believes Trump Will Lose in a Landslide, She’s Wrong! Dead Wrong!

“I think November we’re going to be a landslide and take Donald Trump out, that’s what I have to believe. I firmly believe that the heart of the nation is bigger than his mental illness and people will rise to the occasion and vote him out.”

Rosie O’Donnell

O’Donnell and Trump have engaged in a decade-long feud, which precedes Trump’s career in politics. This long-simmering feud will occasionally boil over on Twitter to the entertainment of us all.

When the former talk show host and comedian says that she believes Trump will lose in a landslide it’s a product of wishful thinking more than anything else.

The fact is that landslide presidential victories are a thing of the past, our nation is bitterly divided on ideological grounds and a few thousand votes in a few counties in battleground states will decides who wins.

Trump is the worst president in history and in a normal world he would lose in a landslide, but we aren’t living in a sane world. There’s a better chance than not that the buffoonish and racist septuagenarian will defeat the kindhearted but Alzheimer’s impaired challenger.

The fact is that the heart of the nation isn’t bigger than Trump’s mental illness, there are too many white evangelicals who are as spiritually and mentally as their false messiah.

Trump will only lose if every Democrat votes and encourages their friends and family members to vote as well.

Michelle Obama Would be the Perfect Running Mate for Joe Biden

Joe Biden says he would take Michelle Obama to be his running mate for the 2020 presidential election.

The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee told KDKA’s Jon Delano that the former first lady would be a strong addition as VP if he thought she would accept the nomination.

‘I’d take her in a heartbeat,’ Biden said on Monday. ‘She’s brilliant. She knows the way around. She is a really fine woman. The Obamas are great friends.’

KDKA CBS News

Vice presidents have so little to do and so little influence on the president’s policies, that Franklin D. Roosevelt’s vice president, John Nance Garner, famously described the vice presidency as being “not worth a bucket of warm piss.”

But in this election cycle with an incumbent septuagenarian and a septuagenarian challenger it’s vitally important whom Joe Biden selects as his running mate.

Biden, 77, Is in obvious physical and mental decline and he’s fortunate that because of the coronavirus pandemic he doesn’t have to undergo the rigors of a traditional general election campaign. I don’t think he could survive a general election campaign, let alone a four-year term.

Biden has already committed to choosing a woman as his running mate and many eminently qualified females are in the mix: Sen. Kamala Harris, Sen. Amy Klobuchar, Sen. Elizabeth Harris …

But choosing Michelle Obama would guarantee Biden victory; she’s relatively young, universally admired, blessed with unmatched name recognition and definitely qualified.

The only problem is that Obama has shown no interest in being Biden’s running mate. In fact, in her bestselling memoir, Becoming, released in 2018 she wrote:

“I’ll say it here directly: I have no intention of running for office, ever.”

Let’s pray that she will change her mind for the good of the country. The racist Trump has done everything possible to reverse and undo Barack Obama’s accomplishments and it would be poetic justice if he lost to a Biden/Obama ticket.