Neighbors Thought Wanker Was a Terrorist for Flying Jack Daniel’s Flag

“According to a report by a Swiss site, a 29-year-old man from Regensdorf in the canton of Zurich recently bought and erected a Jack Daniel`s flag, along with an Italian flag, outside his property.

The man, born in Switzerland but with Italian heritage, said he had put up the flag because he found it `funny`. His neighbours, however, appeared to disagree and confused the flag of the famous Tennessee whiskey producer with that of the militant group, so-called Islamic State.

After emptying his letter box, the man found a letter, allegedly from `concerned neighbours` that read: Should we be afraid of you? First the Italian flag and now the black death flag. Are you an IS-sympathiser? The letter concluded by stating that the author(s) would put the man and his girlfriend “under observation, if necessary.”

The Drinks Business

As far as I`m concerned a man can erect any flag on his private property, however if you erect a flag featuring the logo of a whiskey company your neighbors are going to suspect you`re a drunkard.

The homeowner said that if he found the culprit, he would take legal action due to damage to his reputation. What a wanker, his reputation was ruined the moment he raised the Jack Daniel`s flag.

To quote the immortal words of Rodney King: Can`t we all just get along? If the Swiss gentleman threw a neighborhood party, and provided free Jack Daniel`s, peace and tranquility would prevail in that neighbored forevermore.

Moral of this story:

If you see something, say something, unless you happen to be a freaking moron who mistakes the Jack Daniel`s logo for an ISIS flag.

Read More:

https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2017/10/man-mistaken-for-terrorist-after-his-isis-banner-turns-out-to-be-a-jack-daniels-flag/

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Evangelical Christian Mike Pence Willing to Sell His Soul to Protect Satanic Donald Trump

“On Saturday, Vice President Mike Pence was in Las Vegas honoring the victims of the largest mass shooting in modern American history. Less than 24 hours later, he was in Indiana walking out of the Indianapolis Colts game against the San Francisco 49ers after several of the players failed to stand during the National Anthem.

`I left today`s Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem,` Pence wrote on Twitter by way of explanation.
President Donald Trump, never one to cede to the spotlight, quickly took to Twitter to claim credit for Pence`s walk-out. `I asked @VP Pence to leave stadium if any players kneeled, disrespecting our country. I am proud of him and @SecondLady Karen,` tweeted Trump. He continued to inject himself into the moment Monday morning, tweeting that Pence received `great praise` for leaving the game.”
CNN
Vice President Mike Pence flew on Air Force Two from Las Vegas to Indianapolis to attend the game between the Colts and the 49ers.
After attending the game for the sole purpose of engaging in his publicity stunt, he flew to California — the cynical ploy cost taxpayers almost $300,000.
Former 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick started the kneeling during the National Anthem protest a year ago, and ever since some 49ers always kneel during the anthem.
Pence knew there was a 100% certainty that a few 49ers would kneel during the playing of the National Anthem, his sole purpose for attending the football game was to engage in his publicity stunt to distract attention from Rex Tillerson calling the president a fuc*ing moron and Republican Sen. Bob Corker warning that Trump may lead us to World War III.
The only thing that the evangelical Christian Pence accomplished is prove that he is willing to sell his soul to protect the image of the satanic Donald Trump.
Time for revolution?
Read More:
 http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/09/politics/pence-trump-indianapolis/index.html

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Qoobo, The Weird Cat Robot, is an Abomination

“Qoobo, which was unveiled this week by Yukai Engineering Co., Ltd. at the CEATAC trade show in Japan is only marginally a cat. Its wagging feline tail is attached to a 2-pound ball of fur. Theres no purring face, no head or whiskers, no legs, feet, or claws. The name is a combination of the French word for tail and robot.

The plush toy rests in your lap (what choices does it have?) and responds when you pet it. Different types of strokes or pats will generate different, yet, fairly realistic, tail wags and haptic responses. In addition to the tail movement, the round, cushion body can deliver a vibration response.”

Mashable

We are at the advent of the age of the robot, although robots have been an integral part of the manufacturing process for ages, but it`s only recently that they have invaded our homes.

The Roomba isn`t a novelty item, millions of homeowners rely on these robotic vacuum cleaners to clean their floors while they relax watching TV.

The Amazon “Echo” is a personal assistant who will play music, control your smart home, and get information, news and weather using just your voice.

In a generation many people will have a sex robot instead of a spouse or significant other. The sex robot is not your father`s blowup sex doll, it has fully functioning sex organs, and it looks just as real as your average silicon-enhanced celebrity.

Now there`s a robot cat, sort of, the Qoobo has a wagging feline tail attached to a 2-pound ball of fur. This monstrosity doesn`t have a face, in fact it doesn`t have a head, or legs.

I can put up with a robotic vacuum cleaner, and I can certainly see the advantage of a sex robot over a cheating girlfriend who is just as likely to give you the clap as she is a hug.

But it will be a cold day in hell before I exchange my warm, loving kitty for a freakish robotic cat that doesn`t have a head or a soul.

My cats have a home with me for the rest of their lives, regardless how many curtains they destroy or how many times they cough up a fur ball.

Read More:

http://mashable.com/2017/10/04/qoobo-cat-tail-robot/#7Ji_OCfU_OqR

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Shame on Thomas Gunderson for Standing Up for Donald Trump

“A man who was shot in the leg during the Las Vegas mass shooting didnt let his injury hold him back from standing up to greet President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump.

Thomas Gunderson was attending the Route 91 Harvest Festival on Sunday night when he was horrifically injured when Stephen Paddock, 64, sprayed bullets on more than 20,000 concertgoers.

Gunderson, of California, said he was running toward Mandalay Bay when a bullet pierced his leg.

`There may be plenty of issues in this country but I will always respect my country, my president and my flag. Shot in the leg or not, I will stand to show my President the respect he deserves!` Gunderson wrote.”

Daily Mail

If I were in the same circumstances as Gunderson I would have stood up to greet the orderly who changed my bedpan, the surgeon who repaired my shattered leg, and any of the first responders.

But I would have endured the excruciating pain of standing up for Trump only to piss on his shiny shoes.

Tragedies tend to unite us, they blur our political and religious differences, and bring us together as Americans facing off against a common foe, be it a natural disaster or terrorism.

But not even the Apocalypse could narrow the chasm that exists between an imperial racist president and most of the American people.

I wish Gunderson a speedy recovery, but he`s dead wrong in his belief that Trump deserves our respect.

By his words and behavior Trump has earned the undying disdain of any American who values liberty, equality and racial harmony.

By standing up for Trump Gunderson is enabling Trump`s racist agenda! Shame on Trump and shame on Gunderson!

Read More:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4950300/Las-Vegas-victim-gets-bed-shake-Trump-s-hand.html

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Rex Tillerson is Right, Donald Trump is a Moron

“Discord between President Donald Trump and his chief diplomat is at an all-time high, spilling into public view in recent days and peaking with a NBC News report Wednesday that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson called Trump a moron in a Pentagon meeting.

Trump was aware before Wednesday`s report that Tillerson had referred to him as a `moron` at the Pentagon this summer, a source familiar with the conversation told CNN, but it`s unclear whether Trump discussed the remark with Tillerson. Trump was not present at the Pentagon meeting. A White House source also confirmed to CNN that Trump knew about the insult prior to Wednesday.

During a hastily arranged statement Wednesday morning, Tillerson insisted he enjoys a close relationship with Trump and called him `smart.` But he would not directly deny that he`d called Trump a `moron.`”

CNN

Donald Trump expects obsequiousness from his subordinates, and he considers their most important responsibility to shower him with praise.

To work in the Trump administration a man must sear his conscience and hand over his balls to the buffoon-in-chief on a silver platter.

By all accounts Rex Tillerson called Trump not just a moron, but a fuc*ing moron. There are good-natured morons, and then there are evil fuc*ing morons like Trump.

Tillerson didn`t explicitly deny referring to Trump as a moron, which left the fuc*ing moron seething in anger.

You don`t have to be a rocket scientist or a political analyst to deduce that Tillerson`s days are numbered.

Trump would have summarily fired Tillerson if it weren`t for the fact that too many administration officials have recently been fired or forced to resign.

If Tillerson has a shred of dignity he will resign before the fuc*ing moron fires him.

Read More:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/04/politics/tillerson-trump-moron/

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In Meeting With Military Donald Trump Talks About ‘Calm Before the Storm’

“After discussing Iran and North Korea with U.S. military leaders on Thursday, President Donald Trump posed for a photo with them before dinner and declared the moment `the calm before the storm.`

`You guys know what this represents?` Trump said after journalists gathered in the White House state dining room to photograph him and first lady Melania Trump with the uniformed military leaders and their spouses.
`Maybe it`s the calm before the storm,` he said.
What storm?
`You`ll find out,` Trump told questioning reporters”
Reuters
When the commander-in-chief and his military brass are assembled before the press, and he declares that the moment represents “the calm before the storm,” that chilling statement would elicit ominous headlines if the president were anybody other than Donald Trump.
But Trump has a history of making outlandish comments, and his statement (joke?) was ill-advised and reckless, but I don`t think we should worry about any impending military action.
Although our relations with Iran and especially North Korea are at a boiling point, in no small part due to Trump`s bombastic and inflammatory rhetoric.
A pundit would have just as much luck trying to discern the meaning of Trump`s noxious farts as they would trying to make sense out of the nonsense that spews from his mouth.
I would advise my fellow Americans to chill out, just remember that our reality show president is liable to say anything for dramatic effect.

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Donald Trump Tossing Paper Towels Is His ‘Let Them Eat Cake’ Moment

“Let them eat cake!”

This is a proverb that demonstrates insensitivity to or incomprehension of the realities of life of the disenfranchised. The philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, in his confessions, tells of a princess who on being informed that the peasants had no bread, replied, “Let them eat cake.”

While the phrase is commonly attributed to the French Queen Marie Antoinette, there`s no record of her having said it.

Donald Trump is oblivious to the stark realities of life of the urban poor. He can`t relate to normal folks, and he obviously has no clue how to relate to normal folks trying to survive in the aftermath of a natural disaster.

The spectacle of Donald Trump tossing paper towels to the survivors of Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico defines the cruelty and stupidity of the Trump administration, and it`s his “Let them eat cake” moment.

The optics of the billionaire president tossing paper towels as if he was playing fetch with dogs underscores his racism and disdain for anyone who isn`t white.

I shouldn`t be so harsh, I must admit a roll of paper towels is a perfect gift for the survivors of Hurricane Maria. Puerto Ricans can use the paper towels to clean the floors of their houses that have been defiled by sewer water. And with a dash of hot pepper a paper towel can fill the stomach of a Puerto Rican who doesn`t have anything to eat.

Marie Antoinette, regardless if she ever uttered the immortal phrase “Let them eat cake,” was beheaded in the French Revolution.

Heads should roll over the incompetent federal response to the devastation wreaked by Hurricane Maria, started with Donald Trump. I leave it to you, my dear reader, to discern if I`m speaking literally or metaphorically.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Pat Robertson Placed the Blame for the Las Vegas Massacre on Disrespect for Donald Trump

“TV preacher Pat Robertson says the massacre in Las Vegas was caused by lack of respect for President Donald Trump, protests during the national anthem and the country having no vision of God.

“There is profound disrespect for our president, all across this nation they say terrible things about him,” the televangelist and former presidential candidate said on The 700 Club on Monday.”

Huffington Post

The 87-year-old televangelist and former presidential candidate has a sordid history of placing the blame for natural disasters on gays, lesbians, feminists and anybody else who doesn`t subscribe to his Neanderthal belief system.

God might have diverted the course of Katrina into the ocean and spared New Orleans if only the wicked city hadn`t been so hospitable to gays, lesbians and other infidels.

But the con artist really takes the cake with his latest pronunciation that the massacre in Las Vegas was caused by lack of respect for President Donald Trump.

I wish the Almighty would smite Robertson and take him to the Big Nursing Home in the Sky.

If America respected a profane, vulgar, petty and narcissist egomaniac like Trump I would really be worried, it speaks well of the spiritual health of our great democracy that we can`t abide the short-fingered vulgarian.

I imagine what really pisses off God are the evangelical ministers who laud Trump out of political expediency.

Evil, whether it takes the form of a madman who slaughters innocents in Las Vegas, a televangelist who fleeces his flock, or a president who embarrasses his country on a daily basis, is well-entrenched in our society.

But I have a smidgen of hope for America when I see my fellow Americans recognize Pat Robertson, Donald Trump, and the loser who killed 59 people in Las Vegas as moral reprobates.

Read More:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pat-robertson-las-vegas-massacre_us_59d2e869e4b048a44324a6bb

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SNL’s Michael Che Calls Donald Trump a ‘Bitch’ and a ‘Cheap Cracker’

“Michael Che wasn`t afraid to start off season 43 of Saturday Night Live with a big political statement.

During Weekend Update, Che, 34, slammed Donald Trump for the perceived slow federal response and alleged mishandling hurricane relief efforts in Puerto Rico, calling the president `bitch` and a `cheap cracker.`

After reading Trump`s tweet accusing Puerto Rico mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz of being “nasty” to him because Democrats told her to, Che said “Oh really, Donald? You bitch. Was she nasty to you? How nasty? Are you shaking?”

`This isn`t that complicated, man. It`s is hurricane relief. These people need help. You just did this for white people twice,` Che said, referencing Trump`s relief efforts for Florida and Houston residents. `Do the same thing. Go tell Melania to put on her flood heels, get some bottled water, some food, pack up some extra Atlanta Falcons Super Bowl t-shirts and write them a check with our money, you cheap cracker.`

People.Com

Don`t expect me to get onboard the bandwagon criticizing Che for calling Donald Trump a “bitch” and a “cheap cracker.”

As a lover of the Constitution, a writer and a comedy fan, I place a high premium on the First Amendment.

Comedy should be a bastion of free speech, political-correctness and sensitivity should be anathema to every comic worth his salt. A comic shouldn`t just push the envelope, he should booby-trap the envelope and blow up the house with his outrageous commentary.

I am not going to wet my drawers in faux outrage when a black funnyman calls a white person a “cheap cracker,” or when a white comedian calls a black person a “nigger.” Nigga please, ain`t no rules in comedy.

Free speech advocates and anti-free speech fascists would agree that Donald Trump is a “bitch” and a “cheap cracker,” and truth be told I haven`t heard too many folks complain about Che`s spot-on description of Trump.

But whenever a comic uses words such as “bitch” or “nigger” we shouldn`t get our panties in a bunch.

Read More:

http://people.com/tv/michael-che-called-donald-trump-cheap-cracker-snl-internet-reacts/

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Denver International Airport Introduces Therapy Cats

“Denver International Airport`s CATS team is no longer only for dogs.

Yeah, we know that seems obvious.

This week, the airport introduced Xeli, the first feline to join the Canine Airport Therapy Squad, or CATS.

The team is made up of volunteer pet owners and their furry family members, and all pets are registered with the Alliance of Therapy Dogs.

All animals in the program wear vests that read `pet me` and passengers are encouraged to pet or hug them and take pictures.”

Coloradoan

It`s not uncommon to see therapy cats in nursing homes, hospitals and hospices, but now they will be employed where we need them the most, hell aka any airport.

If I don`t make it to heaven, and I`m dispatched to hell I`m sure it will look like a generic airport minus the lake of fire.

TSA goons becoming more intimate with you than your proctologist or gynecologist, fear of terrorists who are anxious to slaughter innocents so they can have an orgy with 40 virgins in paradise, fat passengers who invade your personal space, and fart away like there`s no tomorrow – if that`s not a description of hell, I don`t know what is!

Thank God the Denver International Airport has added felines to their Canine Airport Therapy Squad, or CATS.

When I`m on vacation I miss my dog and cats the most, being able to pet a kitty at the airport would go a long way toward relieving my stress and anxiety. I would no longer regard an airport as hell, because there are no cats in hell.

Cats at an airport is a purr-fect idea, I pray it catches on.

Read More:

http://www.coloradoan.com/story/life/2017/09/29/meet-denver-international-airports-new-therapy-cat/716459001/

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Fall is the Perfect Time to Walk Your Dog

The dog days of summer are finally over, your pooch survived the season of ticks and fleas and you made it through the cruel months of sweat, sunburns and humidity.

Many a summer day you stayed inside the confines of your air-conditioned home, sipping a cold one and watching TV while your faithful companion was begging to go outside for a walk.

Now that the temperatures and the leaves are falling, there`s no excuse not to walk your dog every day.

Fall is the perfect time to go on long hikes or leisurely walks with your canine buddy.

A dog isn`t a high-maintenance pet, all he requires is a little love, a few bones and a daily walk so he can bond with his owner.

Fall is also the perfect time to go camping, consider taking your pooch instead of your drama queen girlfriend who will go into hysterics if she sees a fox or a snake.

Many campgrounds are dog-friendly, enjoying the great outdoors with your best friend is heaven on Earth.

Fall was created for a man and his dog, get with the program and go enjoy a walk with your pet.

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Lewis Hamilton Posts Video of Chihuahua Humping Donald Trump Plush Toy! Bravo!

Lewis Hamilton, the British F1 driver, posted a video ridiculing Donald Trump on Instagram. The video shows a Chihuahua humping a Donald Trump plush toy.

Donald Trump is vile, profane, racist and a willfully ignorant narcissist, it`s an indictment on the greatest democracy in the world that we elected him president.

If a crackhead is smoking crack on my front lawn, I am not going to show him all due deference and kindly request that he “enjoy his controlled substance somewhere else.” You have to speak to people in a language that they will understand; I would demand that the crackhead “get the fuc* off my property before I bash his head in with a baseball bat.”

If you want to criticize or ridicule Trump you don`t employ subtle wit, you bash the short-fingered vulgarian over the head with savage insults.

Hamilton chose the right tact in demonstrating his displeasure with Trump`s racist views and policies.

Trump sees himself as the alpha dog, but Hamilton posted a video that depicts Trump as a bitch who is getting humped by a freaking Chihuahua.

My only point of contention with Hamilton is that he took down the video, it should have remained online until the American people come to their senses and remove the wretched dog from office by any means necessary.

Link to video:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/4581266/lewis-hamilton-instagram-video-donald-trump-dog/

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Taliban Attempt to Kill James Mattis!

“The Taliban unleashed a barrage of rockets and suicide bombers detonated their vests at Kabul`s international airport Wednesday, the attack coming fewer than two hours after U.S. Defense Secretary James Mattis arrived there.

Mattis had already left the airport aboard helicopters to attend a meeting with Afghanistan`s President Ghani when the attack occurred.

The Afghan Crisis Response Unit responded to the attack and U.S. forces supported them in the air, but a missile malfunctioned and caused several friendly casualties, officials said.

Fox News

In October 2001 the United States invaded Afghanistan after the Taliban refused to turn over Osama bin Laden and dismantle al Qaeda`s terrorist bases.

In relatively short order the Taliban was removed from power, but most of the al Qaeda`s terrorists escaped to safe haven in Pakistan.

George W. Bush`s fevered vision of turning Afghanistan into a Jeffersonian democracy lies in the dustbin of history. Nevertheless 17 years later American young men and women are still shedding their blood in vain in this godforsaken country.

The Taliban have regained control of most of the territory in Afghanistan, the American puppet, President Ashraf Ghani, controls only Kabul.

America was justified in invading Afghanistan after the Taliban refused to give up the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, but there is no justification whatsoever for an occupation that has lasted almost two decades.

The Taliban was justified in unleashing a barrage of rockets at Kabul`s international airport, they have every right to protect the sovereignty of their nation and to seek to kill the leader of the occupying force.

The Taliban are freedom fighters and Defense Secretary James Mattis is the general of an imperial army.

The Afghan people are sick and tired of foreigners interfering in their perpetual bloodshed, they simply want the Yankees to go home.

We should allow the Afghan people to slaughter each other in peace, and bring our young men and women home.

What the holy hell are we still doing in Afghanistan?

Read More:

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/09/27/mortar-rounds-land-at-kabul-airport-just-after-mattis-arrival.html

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Pennywise the Clown Makes Deliveries for Texas Donut Shop

“A Texas doughnut shop employed the help of a scary clown to make deliveries for customers looking to creep out their friends or loved ones.

The Frisco-based Hurts Donut shop shared photos of the menacing clown, reminiscent of Pennywise from Stephen King`s It, who would be delivering doughnuts for two days of early Halloween mischief.

UPI

I love horror flicks but I haven`t seen Stephen King`s “IT” because I`m terrified of clowns in general, and Pennywise in particular.

I hope Hurts Donut shop has liability insurance up the wazoo, because if Pennywise shows up at a homeowner`s door with a bag of donuts he`s going to end up with more holes than his donuts.

I know that if Pennywise knocks on my door, my first reaction will be to wet my drawers, and my second reaction will be to grab my shotgun.

I do love me some donuts though, right after I dispatch the Pennywise wannabe to hell, I`d grab his bag of donuts.

Since Halloween is right around the corner let me take this opportunity to beg parents not to dress their children like clowns, they may not make it home in one piece.

Link to video:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/09/26/Scary-clown-makes-deliveries-for-Texas-doughnut-shop/8961506452951/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=2

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Megyn Kelly’s Awkward Gay ‘Will & Grace’ Joke

“Megyn Kelly kicked off her heavily promoted NBC morning show on Monday with a bit of synergy for network peer Will & Grace – and an awkward joke that left many online scratching their heads.

During a segment with the cast of Will & Grace – including Debra Messing, Will McCormack, Sean Hayes, and Megan Mullally – Kelly invited a superfan of the groundbreaking comedy named Russel Turner to meet his television idols. `Is it true that you became a lawyer – and you became gay – because of Will?` Kelly asked in a joking manner.

Kelly then revealed that her show was awarding Turner two free tickets to a live Will & Grace taping in Los Angeles, an announcement which left the fan and the audience giddy with excitement. Yelling over the crowd, Kelly again turned to some unusual language to close the segment with Turner out: `I think the Will & Grace thing and the gay thing is going to work out great!`”

EW.Com

Megyn Kelly uttered many awkward and frankly racist comments during her tenure at Fox News.

In 2013 the Fox News anchor infamously declared that both Santa Claus and Jesus were white men. Never mind that Santa is a fictional character who`s been portrayed by men of various ethnicities. Jesus Christ was a historical figure whose Jewish lineage can be traced all the way back to King David, but scholars doubt that he resembled the Nordic God as depicted by white artists throughout the ages.

The ethnicity of Jesus is irrelevant, He`s the Son of God to his followers, and a respected spiritual leader to most people of the world.

As for Santa he`s a capitalist icon, and advertisers don`t care if he`s depicted as black, white, brown or purple as long as he moves product.

Being a superfan of “Will and Grace” is the epitome of being gay, I`m quite sure the “gay thing” will work out just marvelously for Turner.

But I`m not persuaded that the “anchor thing” will work out for Kelly at her new home, NBC.

Kelly was a good fit at Fox News, her ignorant and racist audience was thrilled with her racist commentary. But I doubt if she will survive for more than a year at the more mainstream broadcast network.

Read More:

http://ew.com/tv/2017/09/25/megyn-kelly-will-and-grace-gay/

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Melania Can’t Stand Donald Trump

“In the aftermath of Hurricane Irma, President Trump visited Fort Myers, Florida to speak about his administration`s recovery efforts in the state. The president was joined by his wife and vice president – but while addressing the crowd, Trump seemed to forget that Melania was standing right next to him, and instead told the audience that the First Lady `really wanted to be with us.`

But she was with them. Melania and Vice President Mike Pence were right by Trump`s side, as were Sen. Marco Rubio and other local officials, as he spoke about the post-Irma cleanup effort.”

Bustle

Donald Trump has an addiction for high-maintenance trophy wives, when he grew bored with Marla Maples he traded her in for fashion model Melania Knavs.

The celebrity couple has been married since 2005, and in the first few years of their relationship they made time in their busy schedules to engage in sexual congress.

Now that Trump is a septuagenarian he no longer has the ability to please his still relatively young spouse. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak …

Imagine his frustration, he`s like a rich old codger who admires his Ferrari in his garage, but doesn`t take it out for a spin anymore because he realizes that he no longer has the keen eyesight or quick reflexes to tame such a wild beast.

Melania has admitted that she married Trump for his money, and if she swats away his hand in public, you can be damn sure that she bitch slaps him if he tries to steal a kiss in the privacy of their bedroom.

No wonder Trump forgot that Melania was standing right next to him during his speech in Florida, she`s useless to him now.

We should share Melania`s disgust for her husband, and by any means necessary get rid of him.

Link to video of clueless Trump:

https://www.bustle.com/p/heres-donald-trump-literally-forgetting-melania-trump-exists-2436327

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There Should Be No Safe Haven in the World of Entertainment for Donald Trump

“Journalist Megyn Kelly told Ellen she`d welcome President Donald Trump on her new show, Megyn Kelly Today.

After telling Kelly she would not have the sitting president on her show, DeGeneres received massive applause from her studio audience.

`I just, you know, he is who he is and he has enough attention and he has his Twitter account and he has ways to get his message across. There`s nothing that I am going to say to him that is going to change him and I don`t want to give him a platform because it just validates him. And for me to have someone on the show, I really, I have to at least admire them in some way and I can`t have someone who I feel is not only dangerous for the country and for me personally as a gay woman but to the world. He`s dividing all of us and I think I don`t want him on the show,` DeGeneres said again to massive applause.”

Real Clear Politics

Jimmy Fallon, with his good-natured impish personality, was once the undisputed king of late-night comedy, but that all changed when Donald Trump appeared on “The Tonight Show” last September.

Instead of seizing the opportunity to grill (good-naturedly of course) the candidate on his racist and anti-women comments, inexplicably Fallon chose to humanize the monster by ruffling his hair.

Fallon paid dearly for his unforgivable mistake, he`s fallen far behind in ratings to the Trump-bashing Stephen Colbert.

There should be no safe haven anywhere in the world of entertainment for the Reality Show president, a lesson Ellen DeGeneres has certainly learned.

As a gay woman Ellen would never consider having the homophobic president on her show. No black talk show host should ever consider inviting the racist buffoon on his program. No Latino/Latina talk show host should ever consider giving the anti-immigrant and anti-Mexican idiot a platform to spew his noxious views. No white talk show host should ever consider inviting Trump to be a guest on his show, after all Trump is an embarrassment to the Caucasian race, indeed to all of humanity.

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World’s Oldest Cat, Nutmeg, dies at 32

“Nutmeg, believed to be the world`s oldest cat, died in England at the age of 32 earlier this month, his owners said.

Westway Veterinary Group in Newcastle upon Tyne announced Nutmeg died on Sept. 14 as a result of heart failure.

Liz and Ian Finlay cared for Nutmeg for 27 years after taking him in as a stray when he was 5 years old.

Finlay and his wife said their other cat Spice, who died in the early 2000s, constantly brought Nutmeg into their home before they decided to adopt him.

Finlay attributed Nutmeg`s long life to healthy portions of treats such as tuna, cream and hot roast chicken.”

UPI.Com

Cats are entitled to nine lives, but after having lived for 32 years I doubt Nutmeg will be reincarnated.

Nutmeg was a stray cat who was adopted when he was five years old, had he stayed on the streets he would probably wouldn`t have lived more than ten years. Feral felines live short and brutish lives; God bless people who adopt stray cats.

Nutmeg`s owners attribute his long life to healthy portions of treats such as tune, cream and hot roast chicken. I`ve owned cats all of my adult life, and one of my cats lived for twenty years, and I fed her tuna regularly. Don`t be afraid to spoil your kitties by feeding them human food every once in a while.

Nutmeg`s owners are so heartbroken that they don`t plan on getting another cat. I hope they change their minds after their sorrow subsides, I can`t imagine life without a cat.

Read More:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/09/22/Worlds-oldest-cat-Nutmeg-dies-at-32/3681506109735/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=1

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Rocket Man Vs The Dotard! Who Are You Rooting For?

Donald Trump has been called every name in the book, his willful ignorance, depraved profanity and epic narcissism is enough to make even a nun call him anything but a child of God.

When President Donald Trump gave an an address at the United Nations (The Mecca of diplomacy) on September 19, 2017 he referred to North Korea`s regime as a “band of criminals” and he called Kim Jong-un a “Rocket Man on a suicide mission.”

Trump`s speech at the United Nations is the equivalent of a sex worker giving a lecture at Notre Dame University where she blasts the school`s administration as “hypocritical and puritanical a**holes who need to get their heads out of the pope`s ass, realize it`s the 21st century, and allow escorts to ply their ancient trade in their university.”

Leave it to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un (no stranger to fiery rhetoric), to come back with the perfect rejoinder:

I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged U.S. dotard with fire.

The Oxford Dictionary definition:

An old person, especially one who has become weak or senile.

The Urban Dictionary definition:

When you are in the midst of your dotage meaning that you are in the midst of your mental decline. i.e. you`re in the process of becoming a fuc*ing idiot.

I admit I didn`t know the definition of “dotard,” but it`s a perfect description of Trump. It`s similar to “retard,” but not as politically-incorrect.

Kim Jong-un is the Dear Leader of a communist hellhole, but most of us are hoping and praying that he will indeed tame the mentally deranged dotard with fire.

Maybe North Korea`s military technology is more advanced than we ever suspected, and they are capable of launching a tiny projectile, no longer than Trump`s penis, and target the freaking dotard.

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Lawrence O’Donnel’s Epic Off-air Rant! MSNBC Should Have Him Committed to an Asylum

“MSNBC`s Lawrence O`Donnell has apologized for his off-air outbursts during his Aug. 29 broadcast of The Last Word.
In an apology posted to Twitter, the Last Word host expressed remorse following the viral footage – which Mediaite obtained and posted Wednesday afternoon.
`A better anchorman and a better person would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties,` O`Donnell said. `I`m sorry.`”
Mediaite.com
Lawrence O`Donnell`s apology for his crazy outbursts during his August 29 broadcast of The Last Word is the understatement of the year.
In the obscenity-laden rant, O`Donnell gesticulates like a patient off his medication, bangs on his desk like a drummer on crack, and curses like a drunken sailor.
“There`s insanity in the control room tonight,” O`Donnell screams. The only insanity is behind the anchor desk; the prima donna goes freaking nuts over technical difficulties.
“A better anchorman and a better person would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties,” no shi*! Donald Trump would`ve had a better reaction to technical difficulties, right after his wife turned down his request for sex because “an hour to cleanse myself after 60 seconds of sex with you isn`t worth the effort.”
O`Donnell`s off-air outburst is eerily reminiscent of Bill O`Reilly`s classic off-air freakout. O`Donnell is a liberal and O`Reilly is a conservative, but they are both blowhards who treat their subordinates like dirt.

Link to O`Reilly`s breakdown:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy-Y3HJNU_s
O`Donnell owes his staff and viewers a public apology on his show. I will boycott O`Donnell`s program until he apologizes for his unhinged behavior.
Link to video of O`Donnell`s off-air mental breakdown:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmIJ1YEcTiY
Read More:
https://www.mediaite.com/online/lawrence-odonnell-apologizes-for-off-air-tirade-a-better-person-wouldve-had-a-better-reaction/

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Wanker Launching Line of Fanny Packs Featuring Images of Hairy Bellies

“A London-based artist is seeking help launching a line of fanny packs featuring images of pudgy, hairy bellies.

The `Dadbag` promises the wearer convenient travel storage as well as an instant “dad bod” in six different styles.”

UPI

Some fashion fads like cameltoe-enhancing vinyl jumpsuits, bellbottom pants, wide-collar shirts, platform shoes, and above else fanny packs should be left in the dustbin of history.

If I ever pen my autobiography I will leave out the fact that I rocked fanny packs in the 90`s.

A London-based artist/wanker is attempting to bring back fanny packs – surely a sign that Armageddon is right around the corner.

If you revive a fashion accessory from a bygone era, at least update it for the current generation. For example if you bring back the tight-fitting vinyl jumpsuit it should be emblazoned with the slogan: Real Women Sport Cameltoes!

But this British twit is making the fanny pack even worse by featuring images of pudgy, hairy bellies.

This insane fashionista is considering crowdsourcing his project. For the love of God I beseech a Londoner to buy a fanny pack at a thrift store, fill it with rocks, and administer the creator Albert Pukies a good solid bashing.

Read More:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/09/20/Dadbag-fanny-pack-offers-artificial-dad-bod/3851505931410/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

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September 2017 Archives Page Two:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/september-2017-archives-page-2/

 

Donald Trump Jr. Wants to Give Up Secret Service Protection! Why Can’t His Idiot Dad Do the Same?

“Donald Trump Jr. has asked to be removed from Secret Service protection, telling friends he wants more privacy, according to two people briefed on the decision.

It`s a rare move for a member of the president`s family to forgo a security detail, in part because adult children are counseled by the Secret Service that they are quickly seen as targets for those railing against their famous parents.

One close friend of the president`s son said Trump Jr. has been talking for weeks about waiving the 24-hour protection that Secret Service agents provide him, his wife and their five children. But it was unclear Monday night whether he had requested his wife and children be dropped from protection. Secret Service spokeswoman Catherine Milhoan declined to comment on whether Trump Jr. and his family were no longer receiving protection.”

Washington Post

During his first seven months in the White House, Donald Trump has taken seven trips to Mar-a-Lago, five to his golf resort in New Jersey; and one to Trump Tower in Manhattan.

Earlier this year, Junior`s business travel to Uruguay cost the Secret Service nearly $100,000, and that was just for hotel rooms. Which begs the question, does he travel with a harem of bimbos?

Donald Trump`s weekly trips to his resorts, and the business and vacation trips of his sons and daughters are bankrupting the Secret Service.

I don`t know what prompted Trump Jr. to request that he be removed from Secret Service protection, but I hope his father and his siblings follow his example before they bankrupt the federal government.

I`m not saying I want Trump to be assassinated, but the prospect of Trump traveling sans Secret Service protection fills my heart with joy and hope for the future of our great democracy.

Let me make it abundantly clear, I`m not advocating for the assassination of Trump, and anybody who makes threats against the president should be prosecuted.

However, I hope and pray that a solid citizen will lie to Trump and tell him that Kim Jong-un doesn`t have any bodyguards. That would be enough for Trump to try to out-macho the Korean dictator and compel him to dismiss his Security detail.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/donald-trump-jr-wants-to-give-up-secret-service-protection/2017/09/18/2a0e7e72-9cd3-11e7-9c8d-cf053ff30921_story.html?utm_term=.3d633329ef1c

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Donald Trump, Twitter and the End of the World

Outrage is the coin of the realm on social media, especially Twitter. Trump has a volcanic nature and his default mode is outrage, therefore Twitter is the perfect platform for him to publish his insane proclamations.

Many presidents have occasionally used the editorial pages of the New York Times or the Washington Post to communicate with the American public. But Trump`s grammar is unfit for a middle school newspaper, let alone a prestigious publication like The New York Times, fortunately there are no grammar rules per se on Twitter, and he can vent to his illiterate heart`s content on the social media site.

I sometimes wax apoplectic on Twitter and nobody bats an eye, because that`s just how people roll on Twitter.

Even though Trump is the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World we shrug when he spouts nonsense on Twitter. Nothing to see her folks, it`s just our Buffoon-in-Chief talking smack on his favorite social media platform.

Trump could tweet that Kim Jong-un the Rocket Man and Crooked Hillary should ride a nuclear-tipped missile shaped like a dildo and crash into a deserted island and we would take it in stride, after all Trump has been twitting crazy shi* for years.

If Trump tweeted “crazy fundies are right and September 23, 2017 is really the end of the world and imma gonna grab me as much pussy as I can before then!,” I would think to myself what kind of a fuc*ed up world do we live in, I always thought the end of the world would be announced by heavenly trumpets, not by a stupid Trump tweet.

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Donald Trump Re-tweets Golf Ball Hit on Hillary Clinton

“On the eve of a critical week of foreign policy challenges, Donald Trump started his Sunday by retweeting an edited video of him hitting a golf ball into Hillary Clintons back — and her falling over from the impact.

That message — a trollish attempt at humor with overtones of violence against women — went out to Trump`s 38.5 million Twitter followers and turned a Sunday expected to be focused on the President`s preparations for the United Nations General Assembly meetings this week into a now-familiar White House circus.”

CNN

Granted Hillary Clinton is the most unlikable politician in the modern political era, and if she was hit hit by a golf ball causing her to fall over from the impact she would not be inundated with Get Well cards.

In fact I hope she is conked in the head by a golf ball, but the only injury she will suffer is a total amnesia of the 2016 presidential election. I`m sure I`m not the only one who is sick and tired of her and Trump continuously rehashing the election.

However a man with a history of misogynistic behavior and making crude jokes at the expense of women should refrain from retweeting a video with overtones of violence against women.

We shouldn`t let Trump get away with anti-women antics even when the targets of his venom are vile and reprehensible creatures like Rosie O`Donnell and Hillary Clinton.

Trump will always be Trump, which means he will always act like a pig, but we must never stop condemning him for his unacceptable behavior.

Link to video:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/18/politics/trump-golf-ball-clinton/index.html

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Mother! the Worst Film in the History of Cinema!

My coworker has been trying to persuade me for months to stream or download movies from a torrent site, but I always countered that it was copyright infringement, and that downloading films from a torrent site was an excellent way of contracting a virus.

But the other night I couldn`t find a straight-to-video flick on Netflix that looked interesting, so I made the fateful, or should I say fatal, decision to watch Mother! on a popular torrent site. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, now I know what they mean by “curiosity killed the cat.”

Little did I know that not only was I exposing my computer to malware, but I was also exposing my soul to eternal damnation.

Mother! is the worst movie in the history of cinema. The running time of this execrable mess is 121 minutes, but it will take you 121 years of therapy to recover from watching it.

The writer and director Darren Aronofsky should be banned from Hollywood for life, and forced to live in a conservative community where a work like Mother! Is viewed as sacrilegious trash.

The star of Mother! And Aronofsky`s girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence should endure all the indignities and torments that her character suffered a hundredfold in real life.

After I viewed Mother! I took a long bath, but I still felt defiled and dirty. If only I had the courage to pluck out my eyes and pierce my eardrums with a knitting needle.

This is perhaps the most consequential essay I have ever written, if you value your sanity and spirituality I beseech you, for God`s sake don`t watch this abomination.

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