robert paul reyes

Racist Donald Trump Attacks Mayor of London

Hours after London was hit by an Islamic terrorist attack, Sadiq Khan the Muslim mayor of London, announced:

Londoners will see an increased police presence today and over the course of the next few days. No reason to be alarmed — one of the things the police and all of us need to do is make sure we`re as safe as we possibly can be.

The mayor was reassuring his constituents that the police were doing everything they could to protect them, and that they shouldn`t be alarmed by the increased police presence.

Whenever an ally of America is hit by terrorism the president immediately issues a statement expressing solidarity and concern. I`m not a politician or a speechwriter, but I could have written a statement for Trump:

My heart goes out to the victims and their families and friends in London. No act of terror can shake the strength and resilience of our British ally. They will maintain a stiff upper lip, stay calm and carry on.

Instead Trump attacked the mayor of London during his time of crisis, he mischaracterized his words in a loathsome tweet:

At least 7 dead and 48 wounded in terror attack and the Mayor of London says there is “no reason to be alarmed”

Of course the mayor was telling the citizens of London not to be alarmed by the increased police presence, he wasn`t telling them not to be alarmed about terrorism in general.

Why did Trump attack the mayor of London in a time of crisis, when England is our closest ally? I can come to no other conclusion, but that it has everything to do with the mayor`s ethnicity and religion. Trump has a history of attacking people of color, witness his previous victims of his toxic tweets:

Gold star parents Khizr and Ghazala Khan

U.S District Judge Gonazlo Curiel

Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado

Univision anchor Jorge Ramos

Trump`s blatant racism is causing division and strife in the homeland and destroying our relationships with our allies. It`s time to impeach the racist bastard.

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Donald Trump Signs Meaningless Executive Memo

“After announcing his goal to privatize the nation`s Air Traffic Control System, President Donald Trump sat down at a desk on Monday and signed two documents. There was only one problem: He wasn`t actually signing something that would have any tangible impact on what he had just proposed.

A White House aide told reporters Trump had signed a a decision memo and letter transmitting legislative principles to Congress, surrounding the privatization of the Air Traffic Control system, which he had just spent the last few minutes advocating for. But in order for his goal to come to fruition, Congress would need to pass pass legislation implementing it.”

Time

The Republicans control both chambers of Congress, but the Republican president hasn`t been able to pass a single major piece of legislation. Trump`s repeal and replace of Obamacare managed to squeak by the House, but it will be a miracle if it passes the Senate. His infrastructure and tax reform bills are nothing more than items on a wish list.

Trump keeps himself busy tweeting and ruling by executive order, but his cherished executive orders banning Muslims have been struck down by the courts. Trump is now relegated to signing meaningless executive orders. His executive memos, or whatever the hell you wish to call them, privatizing the nation`s Air Traffic Control System are as valid as a Trump University diploma. The documents merely express Trump`s desire to privatize the Air Traffic Control System, in order for his goal to come to fruition, Congress needs to pass a bill.

Trump would be well-advised to skip photo ops when the cameras focus on his freakishly tiny hands signing a document, especially when the document doesn`t have the weight of law.

Read More: http://time.com/4805726/donald-trump-air-traffic-privatization-document-signing/
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Outrage: Bill Maher Bows to Political Correctness and Apologizes!

“Comedian and talk-show host Bill Maher has apologized for using a racial slur during a joke he made on this weekend`s edition of his HBO chat show Real Time.

`Friday nights are always my worst night of sleep because I`m up reflecting on the things I should or shouldn`t have said on my live show. Last night was a particularly long night as I regret the word I used in the banter of a live moment. The word was offensive and I regret saying it and am very sorry,” he said in a statement to Variety Saturday after the cable network denounced his use of the derogatory word for African Americans on his program.

Maher made the on-air joke to Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse, who asked, `Would you like to come work in the field with us?`

`Work in the fields?` Maher responded. `Senator, I am a house [expletive.]`”

UPI

Bill Maher is a free speech advocate, and in his professional career as a political commentator and stand-up comic he has fought political correctness.

It`s especially sad that this free speech advocate has bowed to political correctness, and issued an apology for his joke. A comedian is supposed to break the rules, make us uncomfortable and force us to think about the important issues of the day.

Maher has fought the enemies of free speech before, in 2002 his show “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” wasn`t renewed by ABC because he stated that the 9/11 terrorists didn`t act in a cowardly manner.

We should keep in mind the context in which Maher employed the controversial word, and by the way he said “nigga” not “nigger.” “Nigga” is a term of endearment that many young blacks use to refer to each other.

Maher didn`t say: I hate niggers, they`re so freaking lazy. He used the word to make a lame joke after Sen. Sasse asked him to come work in the field with him.

I have just two words for all those namby-pamby wankers who are calling for Maher`s show to be canceled: NIGGA PLEASE!

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/TV/2017/06/04/Bill-Maher-apologizes-for-using-racial-slur-in-Real-Time-joke/9191496576105/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=13

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Canadian Dude Mows Lawn With Tornado Behind Him

“A Canadian man`s commitment to lawn care is going viral after his wife snapped a photo of him mowing the grass with a tornado looming behind him.

Cecilia Wessels posted a photo to Facebook that she said was snapped Friday as a tornado passed near their Three Hills, Alberta home.
The photo shows Wessels` husband, Theunis, mowing the lawn with the tornado in the background.

Wessels later explained the tornado was not as close as it appeared to be in the photo and was moving away from their home at the time.”

UPI

My thoughts:

Tornadoes in Canada?

Talk about rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

I`m surprised you can actually grow a lawn in the vast frigid wasteland that is Canada.

Perhaps this man was tired of his meaningless life in Canada and was seeking to commit suicide by tornado.

Or he could be one of those anal-retentive wankers who spends more time maintaining his lawn than he does maintaining his automobile and personal relationships.

Maybe his wife is such a nagging witch that he`d rather be outside mowing his lawn with a tornado bearing down on him, than inside with her.

He claimed that the tornado was actually moving away from his house. Hello! Tornadoes are unpredictable, they can turn on a dime.

After reading this story I`m grateful I don`t:

Live in Canada, am obsessed with my lawn, or have a nagging wife.

Pic of wanker mowing his lawn:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/06/04/Canadian-man-calmly-mows-lawn-with-tornado-behind-him/8911496584725/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=1

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Emmanuel Macron Trumps Donald Trump and Punks Vladimir Putin

Emmanuel Macron, France`s 39-year-old president, has been on the world stage for less than a month, but already he`s demonstrated that he won`t be intimidated by the likes of Russian President Vladimir Putin or American President Donald Trump.

The photogenic French leader has stared down Putin and Trump, to the delight of his countrymen, and to the consternation of these dictators.

When Macron and Putin held a joint press conference at the Palace of Versailles, he rebuked Putin to his face for meddling in the French election in which the Kremlin favored his far right rival Marine Le Pen.

How can we forget Macron`s handshake with Trump, the young French president gripped the septuagenarian`s puny hand like a vise, and then bragged about it later. After that fateful encounter Trump probably changed his diapers, and ordered Sean Spicer to rub Bengay on his injured hand.

Macron trolled the troller-in-chief in a televised speech, speaking in English he condemned Trump for withdrawing from the Paris Climate Accord with a call to “make our planet great again.”

Macron has put the world`s tyrants on notice, that contrary to the stereotype he`s a French man with testicles the size of bowling balls.

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Kathy Griffin is Beneath Contempt! She Should Apologize to the Trump Family in Person!

“Flanked by lawyer and Trump-critic Lisa Bloom, Kathy Griffin has accused the president and his family of bullying her in the wake of the massive controversy sparked by a photo of her holding a fake severed head of President Donald Trump.

`The death threats are constant and detailed and serious and specific,` Griffin told reporters at a press conference on Friday.

She reiterated her apology for the photo and admitted once again that the gory, bloody image crossed a line, but also called Trump`s reaction and behavior `unpresidential` and accused him of sparking the backlash against her.”

AOL

I am hardly a Donald Trump supporter as evidenced by the almost 100 anti-Trump articles I`ve written in the last couple of years.

But in this incident Trump and his family are the victims, and Kathy Griffin is the calculating and cynical bitch who is trying to milk her demented and cruel publicity stunt for all it`s worth.

The Tyler Shields photo shoot that featured the D-list celeb in a pussy-bow blouse and raising a bloodied imitation severed head of Trump crossed every conceivable line.

I believe that Griffin planned to apologize before the photo was published; she knew she would take a hit, but figured that the controversy would spark her moribund career.

Griffin was justly condemned by the left and the right, her craven stunt infuriated Americans of every political orientation.

Now this witch is trying to make herself the victim, flat-out lying about Trump`s reaction.

On Wednesday Trump tweeted:

Kathy Griffin should be ashamed of herself. My children, especially my 11 year old son, Barron, are having a hard time with this. Sick.

Trump can be crude and vulgar, especially when he`s personally attacked, but his tweet was restrained.

In a statement also released on Wednesday this is what Melania had to say:

As a mother, a wife, and a human being, that photo is very disturbing.

Griffin claims that she`s received many death threats, she has only herself to blame for the hatred she incited, not Trump.

If God forbid Griffin`s head was blown away it would be poetic justice and a teaching moment for our children:

This is what happens when you cross the line with a violence-inciting publicity stunt.

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Hillary Clinton Blames Media and DNC for Her Crushing Defeat!

“Hillary Clinton`s list of who`s to blame for her 2016 election loss gets longer with every passing day.

On Wednesday, in an interview with Recode`s Walt Mossberg and Kara Swisher, Clinton added a few more names to her list: The New York Times and the Democratic National Committee. That`s in addition to the media, James Comey, Donald Trump, the Russians and her supporters` assumptions that she would win the race.

The one person missing from that list? Hillary Rodham Clinton.”

CNN

Donald Trump is the worst president in history, and he`s already committed enough crimes to merit impeachment. But every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth it confirms my belief that he beat the only politician who would have done a worse job than him.

Hillary Clinton is an awful candidate, and she would been a god-awful president. Trump`s willful ignorance, ineptitude and arrogance will lead to his downfall, but Hillary`s pride, feeling of entitlement and superiority would have led to a similarly quick ruination.

Hillary can`t admit to herself, and certainly not to others, that she lost to a buffoon who just winged it all the way to the White House. In the days following her humiliation she blamed FBI Director James Comey, and the Russians for her loss. Now she`s blaming the media and the Democratic National Committee (DNC).

I will concede that Comey`s letter to Congress on October 28, 2016 and Russia`s meddling in the election played a part in Hillary`s loss, but she has only herself to blame for setting up a private server in her home, ignoring Wisconsin and Michigan, and failing to campaign as diligently as her opponent.

But placing the blame for losing the election on the media is patently ridiculous. The cable news networks provided saturation coverage of Trump, only because the reality star boosted their ratings. But they mocked and criticized him mercilessly, they didn`t take his campaign seriously. Hillary was endorsed by almost every major newspaper, and they treated her like a president-elect, even though she didn`t give the media the time of day. Hillary was too good to grant interviews to the press or to mingle with the voters, she spent an inordinate amount of time at fundraisers and giving speeches to the likes of Goldman Sachs.

To blame the DNC for her loss is the most ridiculous thing Hillary has ever said. This is the same DNC that was led by her BFF
Wasserman Schultz. This is the same DNC that rigged the primaries in her favor. This is the same DNC that did everything possible to undermine the campaign of Sen. Bernie Sanders, perhaps the only Democrat who could have beat Trump.

Hillary claims that the DNC was bankrupt, and its data was mediocre to poor. Maybe so, but the DNC did everything possible to help her win.

Hillary should do herself and the Democratic Party a favor and shut the hell up. Every campaign has bad breaks, bottom line she has only herself to blame.

The New York Times and the DNC are to blame for Hillary`s crushing defeat? I have only two words in reply: BITCH PLEASE!

Read More:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/01/politics/hillary-clinton-2016/index.html

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The Definitive Article on Donald Trump’s ‘Covfefe’ Tweet

On May 31, 2017 at 12:06 at night Donald Trump posted a tweet that will be analyzed for generations to come:

Despite the negative press covfefe

This mysterious tweet remained on Trump`s Twitter feed for six hours before it was deleted.

Then on May 31, 2017 at 6:09 AM the putative Leader of the Free World posted this tweet:

Who can figure out the meaning of “covfefe”??? Enjoy!

Trump`s original tweet is a sentence fragment without a period or question mark at the end. This tweet interruptus has already spawned tens of thousands of editorials, blogs and tweets, allow me add my two cents` worth.

Trump is the most inarticulate president in history, nevertheless he has managed to add two words to the American lexicon: “Bigly” and now “Covfefe.”

What does the word “covfefe” mean? Trump probably meant to type “coverage,” but who the hell really knows. Our Fearless Leader has the intellectual depth of a baby, and when a baby utters a nonsense word, especially when he`s just learning to speak, the parents will debate endlessly what word he attempted to say.

Mom: Little Tommy said “mommy”! I think I`m going to cry!


Dad: You must be going deaf, he clearly said “dada”!


Mom: My little angel was looking at me when he spoke! Stop being an idiot! Tommy said “mommy”!


Dad: If he was looking at you, my bad he didn`t say “dada.” He must have said “puta”!

A baby should never be left unsupervised and unmonitored for six hours, why was Trump`s nonsense tweet allowed to stay online for so long? Isn`t anybody monitoring what tomfoolery that infantile moron is posting online?

Finally let`s ponder what or who interrupted Trump from finishing his tweet. We all know that Trump has the attention span of a flea, maybe he saw a pussy on the Playboy Channel that he wanted to reach out and grab. Or maybe he felt a sudden impulse to call Sean Spicer and berate him failing to make sense of his incoherent presidential pronouncements. It could also be that he interrupted his tweet, because he needed to go to the bathroom before he soiled his diapers.

I feel guilty for having wasted time writing this essay. Who cares what “covfefe” means, Trump is a freaking idiot, and nothing he writes merits analysis.

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BlessU-2 Robot Priest is Superior to Pedophile Priests

“BlessU-2, which delivers blessings in five languages, is intended to trigger debate about the future of the church.

A robot priest that delivers blessings in five languages and beams light from its hands has been unveiled as part of an exhibition to mark the anniversary of the start of the Reformation, a Europe-wide religious, political and cultural upheaval sparked when Luther nailed his 95 theses to a church door in the town.

Half a millennium later, the robot, called BlessU-2, is intended to trigger debate about the future of the church and the potential of artificial intelligence.”

The Guardian

The robot padre is an answer to the two major problems facing the Roman Catholic Church: A critical shortage of clergy and pedophile priests.

BlessU-2 may beam light from its hands, but it isn`t going to use its mechanical hands to fondle little boys. Celibate robots are the answer to celibate priests with a prediction for molesting and raping young boys.

The Roman Catholic Church should replace all of their priests with mechanical ones, the critical shortage of clergy would immediately be solved, and the church wouldn`t have to spend millions in training ministers. If all of the robot priests are given male names, the church might see robot preachers as a divine answer.

The robot priests are limited in what they can do, they can recite blessings in five language and they can make their hands glow, that`s it. But come to think of it that`s all they really need to do, 99% of the duties the men of the cloth perform are religious tomfoolery. I`d be perfectly happy if my parish father was limited to reciting blessings.

I`m down with the robotic program, to hell with the flesh and blood pedophile priests, bring on the robot priests. Hallelujah! To hell with the “men of God”! Praise Jesus for the robots of God!

Read More:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/may/30/robot-priest-blessu-2-germany-reformation-exhibition

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Maintenance Guy Plays With Homeowner’s Cat: Video

“I broke the pull string light switch in my laundry room.

cat My apartment maintenance guy came to fix it and had a great time playing with my cat on his way out.”
YouTube video description
When I lived in an apartment, I always hated it when the landlord scheduled the maintenance guy to make repairs while I was at work. I always wondered, will the dude go through my personal stuff, watch porn on my computer or tease my cats?
Nobody had surveillance cameras in their homes in those days, so God only knows what the dude did in my apartment. Now I have a home security system that includes surveillance cameras, but I still wouldn`t allow a contractor to work in my house when I`m not home.

It restores my faith in human nature that this maintenance guy fixed the problem and played with the cat.

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Tiger Woods Arrested on Suspicion of DUI! What’s Next: Retirement or Suicide?

Tiger Woods, golfing icon, was arrested on a DUI charge in Florida early Monday morning, and his mugshot has gone viral.

Tiger`s mugshot makes Nick Notle`s infamous mugshot look like a wedding photograph.

Dead Eyes

Unkempt hair

Scraggly goatee

Bloated face

Generic white T-shirt

 Crooked mouth

This mugshot is a perfect representation of the dissolute state of Tiger`s soul. When Woods crashed his car into a fire hydrant on November 27, 2009 he was exposed as a hypocrite and serial adulterer, and his golfing career and professional reputation has never recovered.

In his mugshot the disgraced golfer doesn`t look like the legend who mastered the greatest golf courses in the world, he looks like a homeless person who would be arrested if he tried sneaking into a golf resort.

If I met Woods looking like he does in his mugshot I wouldn`t know if I should give him a dollar or shoot him right between the eyes to put him out of his misery. Injuries and scandals have robbed Woods of his golfing skills, at this stage in his life and in his career he shouldn`t dismiss ritual suicide as a valid option.

Link to his mugshot:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4552628/Tiger-Woods-arrested-DUI.html

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Burger King Mascot Creepiest Mascot of All Time

“Belgium`s royal family says it has contacted the fast food chain Burger King over an ad that invites people to choose between the country`s King Philippe and the company`s mascot.
The ad, on whoistheking.be, asks those who choose Philippe: Are you sure? He won`t be the one to cook your fries.
A spokesman said the use of the king`s image must be approved by the royal family, but they had not been asked.

On the website, Philippe is represented by a cartoon.”
BBC
I love Burger King, I would be perfectly content to subsist on a diet of Whoppers and burgers for the rest of my life, however short that life may be.
But I loathe with an undying loathing the perpetually smiling, plastic-faced Burger King mascot, he is the creepiest fast food mascot of all time.

Any father would let his only daughter marry Ronald McDonald, rather than allow her go out on one date with the perversely creepy Burger King.

The Burger King corporation banished the loathsome king in 2011, but for some unfathomable reason he made a comeback in 2015.

I don`t live in Belgium but I went to the whoishteking.be Web site to vote for King Philippe over Burger King. I would vote for any world leader, including Kim Jong-un over the Burger King, with the exception of Donald Trump.

There`s nothing better in the world than biting into a juicy Big Whopper, but if a Burger King commercial featuring the Burger King comes on while I`m eating the burger, it would make me vomit.

Burger King would be well-advised to banish the Burger King forever!

 Read More:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40073285

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Donald Trump’s Tweets May be Vetted by a Team of Lawyers

“The White House is considering having a team of lawyers approve Donald Trump`s tweets, The Wall Street Journal reported on Friday, citing an advisor to the president.

Although the idea is under consideration, Trump aides told the Journal that such a procedure would be hard to put in place.

If implemented, the move would certainly lift a burden on the White House press office, which often finds itself trying to explain why Trump`s tweets diverge so sharply from the tightly crafted official statements.”

CNBC

President Donald Trump finally realized that the shit has hit the fan, and it`s dripping all over him and his staff. Therefore he hired a New York-based lawyer Marc Kasowitz to represent him in the Justice Department Russiagate investigation.

Kasowitz has a reputation for being a tenacious litigator and he will fight the opposition tooth and nail, and he`s not going to put up with any tomfoolery from his client, Donald Trump.

It takes a team of attorneys to vett Trump`s tweets to protect him from slandering his enemies, but most importantly from incriminating himself.

Trump would be well-advised to also hire a grammatican to spellcheck and correct his grammatical mistakes. How can we convince our children that grammar matters when Trump`s tweets seem to be the handiwork of a monkey tapping at a keyboard.

Come to think of it, he should also hire a psychiatrist to look over his tweets. The shrink would be busy deleting all tweets that smack of paranoia and delusion.

Or Trump could just hire Mr. T as his social media guru, and if Trump so much as opens Twitter on his phone he would break his stubby little fingers.

Read More:

http://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/26/lawyers-may-vet-trump-tweets-white-house-weighs-strategy-shiftt.html

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A Tale Involving a Naked Burglar, a Bucket, and a $25,000 Swan Sculpture

“Authorities in Florida are asking for the public`s help finding a large $25,000 swan sculpture stolen by a naked man.

The Polk County Sheriff`s Office said surveillance cameras at Lakeland Cold Storage were recording just before 5 a.m. May 19 when a naked man carrying a 5-gallon bucket squeezed through a gap in the fence.
`Do you call that buck naked, or bucket naked?` the sheriff`s office quipped in a Facebook post.”

UPI

A sordid story involving a buck naked burglar, a bucket, and a $25,000 swan sculpture could only happen in Florida. I`m just surprised that the stolen item wasn`t a $2 plastic pink flamingo.

The burglar must have balls the size of bowling balls, it takes real balls to squeeze through a gap in a chain link fence when you are naked.

The burglar has been nabbed, but the swan is still missing. The naked burglar probably sold in on eBay for $20 so he could buy some meth.

God have mercy on Floridians.

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Donald Trump is Rapidly Deteriorating! He Must be Impeached!

“The way Donald Trumps speaking style has changed over the decades could point to a deterioration in the health of his brain, it has been claimed.

Researchers from the medical science website Stat analysed interviews the US President has given spanning decades, and then asked psychologists, psychiatrists and experts in cognitive assessment and neurolinguistics to assess the results.

In interviews in the 1980s, Mr Trump was noted as using sophisticated vocabulary and speaking articulately.

More recently, the President`s vocabulary is simpler, he repeats himself often and tends to jump from one subject to another.”

Independent

The dramatic decline in grammar and syntax can be due to a number of factors including:

Alcohol or drugs

Fatigue

Stress

Age

Mental issues

Frustration

Trump is a teetotaler and he doesn`t have a history of using controlled substances. During debates and interviews he sometimes sniffles as if he was tweaking, but that`s evidence of lying not cocaine use.

The Orange Menace is a workaholic and he gets by on four hours of sleep, fatigue won`t catch up with him until the Grim Reaper drags him to hell.

Trump thrives on stress and chaos, he doesn`t get stress, he stresses out everybody with the misfortune of having to business with him.

Donald Trump is 70-freaking-years-old, and nobody expects a septuagenarian to be as mentally agile as a middle-aged president like Barack Obama or George Bush. Trump`s grammar-impaired tweets and his bellicose and incoherent speeches would be enough to have him committed if he wasn`t so wealthy and powerful.

But age alone can`t explain the rapid deterioration of Trump`s speaking abilities, he has mental issues, or in Trumpspeak he`s freaking bonkers!

Frustration is also a factor in Trump`s declining speaking abilities, by his own admission he thought being president would be easier than running a financial empire or being a reality TV entertainer. Trump is incredibly frustrated that the courts are overturning his executive orders, and that he can`t get any major legislation through the Republican-controlled Congress. He is totally pissed off that the media are reporting the objective truth: That he`s an incompetent clown who is totally screwing everything up.

I pray that his resignation speech will be written by a professional speechwriter, so that at least his last speech as president will be coherent and worth preserving for future generations.

Read More: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-speaking-style-brain-health-questions-mental-research-a7756946.html

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Chinese Driver Uses Umbrella While Driving Convertible in Rain! Write Your Own Joke!

“A Chinese driver who apparently didn`t want to put his convertible top up in the rain was filmed driving down the highway with an umbrella.

The video, filmed earlier this month, shows a man driving a red Mercedes-Benz convertible during a rain storm in Guangyuan, Sichuan Province.”

UPI

If you look up the word “clueless” in the dictionary, you will see a photograph of this Chinese dude driving a convertible top up in the rain down the highway with an umbrella.

When I`m speeding down the freeway the last thing I want to see is an Asian driver holding an umbrella, I`d rather encounter a woman texting and applying makeup at the same time.

Asians are notoriously bad drivers, they shouldn`t be given a driver`s license unless they swear to always have both hands on the steering wheel in the 10 and 2 position.

This story confirms my belief that life is absurd, if life was fair this clueless clown would be driving a Ford Pinto and not a beautiful machine like a Mercedes-Benz convertible.

Link to video:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/05/25/Man-holds-umbrella-while-driving-convertible-in-the-rain/3081495741280/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

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What’s the One App Donald Trump Should Have on His Phone?

“One fun thing: POTUS` current device is an iPhone with ONE app: Twitter.”

Axios

The average millennial has dozens of apps on his phone, it`s not surprising that a septuagenarian has only one. Considering how much trouble Trump has got into on Twitter, imagine the chaos if he learns about other apps like Tinder. The short-fingered vulgarian would be swiping right like crazy and hooking up with all sorts of skanks.

What is the one indispensable app that Trump should have on his iPhone:

INSTANT GRAMMAR AND SPELL CHECKER

This would be perfect for the grammar-challenged moron.

SNAPCHAT

The principal feature of Snapchat is that pictures and messages are only available for a short time before they become inaccessible. If Trump communicated only via Snapchat it would be less likely that his inane thoughts would go viral.

YOUTUBE

I would recommend that Trump subscribe to channels featuring makeup tutorials. What`s up with the orange complexion?

ENGLISH PRONUNCIATION APP

If I hear Trump mispronounce “China” one more time, I`m going bonkers!

FART SOUNDS PRANK

This fart sound app would provide countless hours of entertainment for Trump, he could drive Mike Pence to loss his salvation by blaming him for farting. If Trump spent his time farting around with this app he would have less time to destroy our country.

Dear loyal readers what`s the one app that you think Trump should have on his phone?

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Pope Francis Looks Mortified to be Taking Photo With Donald Trump

“All eyes were on the Vatican on Wednesday when Trump, along with members of his family and political inner circle, shared a private audience with the pontiff. Trump had a half hour of the pope`s time for a discussion; they also exchanged gifts and posed for pictures. One image in particular, of a grinning Trump next to a stone-faced Pope Francis, has gone viral.”

Time Magazine

Donald Trump`s daughter, Ivanka, and his wife Melania, are standing immediately to his right, dressed in black with their heads covered in black veils, they look like the most beautiful witches this side of hell.

On the other side of Trump, with a foot of separation,stands a stone-faced Pope Francis, looking dignified and resplendent in his white papal vestments and his white skullcap.

The pope was wearing a cross as big as Mack truck, let`s hope and pray that it provided him enough protection from the likes of the Trumps.

It looks like they posed for a photograph before they split ways, the Trumps to attend a Black Mass, and the pontiff to hear confession.

To show you the depravity of the human heart, I`d rather join a séance with the beautiful but evil Trump ladies than have an audience with Pope Francis.

Link to photo:

http://time.com/4792245/pope-francis-donald-trump-viral-photo/

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MAY ARCHIVES PAGE 2:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/page-2-of-may-2017-archives-of-robert-paul-reyes-articles/

What’s Going to Happen When Antichrist Donald Trump Meets Pope Francis?

American evangelical leaders heartily embraced Donald Trump, and white evangelicals voters provided the impetus to push Trump over the top in a few critical states. We have evangelicals to thank for the most stupid, ignorant, vulgar, crude and egotistical president in history.

Evangelicals will never admit their mistake, even when their Messiah is eventually (God Willing) impeached, for them loyalty to Trump is as much a tenet of their faith as believing in the Virgin Birth of Jesus Christ.

Evangelicals have done serious and irreparable harm to their reputation, how the hell can anyone take these Trump lovers seriously when they preach their message of redemption and renewal in the name of Christ?

Not content with having destroyed the evangelical faith in America, Trump is now set to meet the Pope in the Vatican. On Wednesday one of the most credible and respected religious leaders of our generation will meet one of the least credible and most vilified politicians of our day.

In order to survive this meeting with his reputation intact the Vicar of Christ must refrain from diplomatic niceties and religious platitudes, and treat Trump with respect but not utter a single word of praise. Trump has destroyed evangelicalism in America, he must not be allowed to destroy Catholicism.

Trump isn`t going to experience an epiphany at 70-freaking years old, and I`m sure the Pontiff isn`t going to try to convert the old reprobate. The Pope would be better off taking Trump to the bowels of the Vatican, and having a team of exorcists attempt to drive the demons from the vulgar bastard.

When antimatter meets matter annihilation occurs, when the Antichrist Trump meets Pope Francis let`s pray that the Pontiff survives the meeting, and that Trump will be so unnerved that he will go nuts and act crazy, and be committed. Wishful thinking, Trump is already nuts, and he is already acting crazy and Republicans act as if he`s the Second Coming of Ronald Reagan.

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What a Farce! Saudi Arabia Opens Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology

President DonaldTrump on Sunday participated in the opening of the Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology in the Mecca for extremist ideology, Saudi Arabia. The kingdom`s major export after oil is radical Wahhabism, Saudi Arabia funds madrassas (religious schools that teach hatred toward Israel and the United States) in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and even in the United States.

Donald Trump, Egypt`s president Abdel al-Sisi, and Saudi Arabia`s Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud hovered over a glowing orb. When the men placed their hands on the mysterious orb, a runway lit up, revealing men (women may be allowed to polish the glowing orb but they aren`t allowed to work in the Center) and computers in cubicles.

The center will monitor extremist activity online, and the men in the cubicles will probably encourage radial Islamic propaganda online, while Saudi leaders publicly denounce ISIS.

You don`t need a glowing crystal ball to foretell that the Saudis will continue to finance international terrorism. Shame on Trump for participating in this farce.

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Melania Trump Slaps at Donald Trump When He Tries to Hold Her Hand: Video

“Melania Trump appeared to want nothing to do with President Donald Trumps hand on Monday.

After FLOTUS and POTUS arrived at Ben Gurion International Airport in Lod, near Tel Aviv, Israel, for Day 3 of the administration`s first international trip, Trump reached one hand backwards toward his wife – but she quickly rebuffed the gesture with a flick of her wrist. At the time, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was holding hands with wife, Sara, beside the Trumps.”

Huffington Post

We recently learned that Hillary Clinton`s debate preparation included practicing how to avoid shaking hands with Donald Trump. Nobody, friend or foe, wants to touch Trump`s hands, God only knows what that pussy-grabbing freak`s hands have touched.
Even Melania Trump doesn`t want to be anywhere near her toxic husband, she`s been safely ensconced in Trump Tower the last four months — far away from the reach of his tiny hands.
When the Trumps arrived at Ben Gurion International Airport, knowing that millions were watching on TV, Melania Trump flicked away his hand when he attempted to hold her hand.
Only diehard Trump supporters can tolerate him, it`s time to impeach him.
Read More:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/watch-melania-trump-swat-donald-away-when-he-tries-to-hold-her-hand_us_5922f66ae4b034684b0e1ffa

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slo71FaJjfY

Clint Eastwood: We’re Really in a Pussy Generation

“We`re really in a pussy generation. Everybody`s walking on eggshells.”

Clint Eastwood

Eastwood the star of Spaghetti Western flicks of the 1960`s is a straight shooter, he tells it like it is, and he doesn`t give a damn if he triggers snow flakes.

Political-correctness is a cancer that`s metastasizing, affecting every part of our culture. Filmmakers are afraid to tackle certain subjects, comics are afraid to utter certain words, painters are afraid to paint certain subjects, and everyday folks parse every word they speak in a work setting.

Eastwood is spot on: We are in a pussy generation. Take the word “pussy” for example, women are free to wear pussy hats, and to shout: Pussy Power! But if a man says “you are such a pussy,” he`d better be speaking to his cat, and not to friend or colleague who is exhibiting pussy-like behavior.

Just about the only context in which the word “pussy” is objectionable is when a man distills the essence of a woman to her vagina, and refers to her as a pussy. Witness, Trump boasting that he has a special dispensation by virtue of his power and celebrity to grab women by their pussy.

If a dude acts in a typically female manner, but all means call him a pussy.

if a man or woman (pussy is a non-gender specific word) acts in a cowardly fashion, by all means call him or her a pussy.

If a supervisor asks a subordinate to perform a menial task, by all means exclaim: Got to hell! I`m not a pussy!

If you are engaging in romantic foreplay with your wife or girlfriend, by all means declare: You`re my favorite pussy!

It`s alarming to the state which we have fallen, truly we are a pussy generation. We should replace the ultimate phallic symbol, the Washington Monument, with a statue of a pussy cat.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Hillary Clinton Practiced Avoiding Donald Trump’s Hug

“Hillary Clinton`s presidential debate preparation included practicing – unsuccessfully – avoiding getting hugged by a grabby Donald Trump stand-in, a video posted Friday reveals.

The video shows Clinton on Sept. 24 walking out on a mock stage to greet a man playing the Republican nominee Trump for the prep session for the debate, which was being held two days later at Hofstra University on Long Island, New York.”

CNBC

Donald Trump compensates for his diminutive hands by turning every handshake into a power play, legion are the foreign leaders who have fallen victim to Trump`s death grip.

Hillary Clinton debate preparation included practicing avoiding Trump`s embrace and handshake. If only the Democratic Party had avoided fixing the election in favor of Hillary, Bernie Sanders would have crushed Trump in the general election.

Hillary was such an ineffectual candidate that Trump got the best of her in every way possible, including devising a winning strategy for the electoral college.

One day there will be a female presidential candidate who is equal, and even superior, to every male in the field, and who will go on to be elected President of the United States. But it won`t be Hillary.

Read More: http://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/19/watch-hillary-clinton-try-to-duck-a-hug-from-donald-trump.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdaxNFkBlg

Donald Trump Should be Impeached Sooner Rather Than Later

The Trump administration is mired in scandal, the Republican legislative agenda is in paralysis, while the president`s surrogates try to manage the chaos by issuing statements that are contradicted by the Twitterer-in-chief in the same news cycle.

The Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, the Majority Leader of the Senate Mitch McConnell, and the rest of the GOP leaders are in a perpetual state of anguish over the pandemonium swirling around the White House, but Trump who thrives in turmoil calmly tweets in the Oval Office, creating even more trouble for his handlers and advisers.

Trump could very well survive four or even eight years of scandals and controversy without suffering a heart attack or a mental breakdown, but the Republican Party, our democracy and the American people can`t endure this madness for much longer.

Trump has been in office for only four months, but the evidence is already overwhelming that he is temperamentally unfit, and intellectually incapable of being president. Trump has relied on his intuition in his career as a businessman, he has basically “winged it,” and that has led to as many bankruptcies as great deals.

But you can`t “wing it” as commander-in-chief of the greatest military in the world, without risking Armageddon. Many Democrats are praying and hoping that next year they will regain control of Congress, and be in position to impeach Trump.

But we simply can`t wait that long, it`s incumbent upon Republicans to value our country over party and begin impeachment proceedings. The bombshell news that Trump asked then FBI Director James Comey to drop his investigation of former national security adviser Michael Flynn may finally motivate them to do the right thing.

The longer Trump remains in power the more irreparable harm he will inflict on the GOP and our country, it`s in the best interests of Republicans, Democrats and our democracy for Trump to be impeached sooner rather than later.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Deer Strolls into Walmart and Freaks Out Over Walmart Freaky Shoppers

“Walmart shoppers in Wadena got a real sense of the outdoors Tuesday night when a deer strolled into the store.

Stephanie Koljonen, of Wadena, witnessed the commotion.
`We were in the pet aisle when we heard what sounded like shelves falling, then a woman screaming,` she said.

“We rushed to help and that`s when we saw a deer was on the loose.`
Koljonen says a fellow shopper swooped in and corralled the deer, gently holding it and covering its eyes so it wouldn`t be spooked. That`s when Koljonen grabbed her camera. She snapped a photo and shared it on Facebook. Her post now has more than 1,000 shares. Authorities later responded and freed the deer.”

KARE 11

I rarely venture inside a Walmart, I value my sanity. The male Walmart shoppers look like Skid Row denizens, the females resemble contestants in a Trailer Park beauty contest, and the children look and act like Bebe`s kids.

It`s hardly surprising that the deer freaked out, I feel a sense of claustrophobia and paranoia when I`m surrounded by Walmart freaks.

Thank God for the quick-thinking Good Samaritan who held the deer, and most importantly covered its eyes so it wouldn`t see the rednecks and hood rats who populate Walmart.

Friends don`t let friends shop at Walmart!

Read More:
http://www.kare11.com/news/weird/deer-wrangled-in-wadena-walmart/440545149

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