Does Jesus Speak to Mike Pence?

“Buried under an avalanche of breaking news this month, Vice President Mike Pence gave an impassioned defense of religion.

`The overwhelming majority of Americans enjoy their faith, and we have all different kinds of faith in this country,` Pence said during an event broadcast on C-Span. `My Christianity is the most important thing in my life. I try and start every day by opening the good book. My wife and I try to have a prayer together before I leave every morning. I can honestly tell you my faith sustains me in all that I do.`

He was responding to a question about a joke comedian Joy Behar cracked during an episode of The View on ABC in which she compared Christianity to a mental illness.

`It`s one thing to talk to Jesus,` Behar said on the popular daytime talk show. `It`s another when Jesus talks to you.`”

Charlotte Observer

All Christians talk to Jesus, but only charlatan televangelists and mentally unbalanced believers claim that He literally answers them.

Sane evangelicals will say words to the effect of: I went to Jesus in prayer and I believe He is leading me to take this action.

But when a pious Christian declares “I asked the Lord if I should vote for Donald Trump, and Jesus not only ordered me to vote for him, but he also commanded me to wear a MAGA hat every day,” WATCH OUT! That wasn`t Jesus speaking to him, the wanker is misinterpreting the fart emanating from his arse for the word of God.

Folks who claim that Jesus speaks to them in an audible voice are sanctimonious morons of the worst kind.

I`m not a theologian or clairvoyant, but I know damn well that Jesus does not speak to Mike Pence. If Jesus ever speaks to Pence it will be to rebuke him for enabling and making excuses for the short-fingered vulgarian.

We need less holier-than-thou Christians declaring “Jesus spoke to me,” and more humble believers saying “I`m feeding the poor, and visiting prisoners in jail just like Jesus instructed me in the Gospels.”

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/opinion/editorials/article201882049.html#storylink=cpy

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Jeff Sessions is the Creepiest Politician in History

Attorney General Jeff Sessions has been called everything from a Keebler elf to Mr. Magoo to a grey alien to a steaming pile of dung, and that`s what his friends in the Senate call him. Just kidding, even though he served for over two decades in that august body, he doesn`t have any friends there or anywhere else.

Sessions is the creepiest politician in history, he`s like a loathsome lizard that you are too afraid to touch so you just poke it when a ten-foot pole.

This vile creature is older than dirt, and it`s not too soon to be talking about his funeral. I hope it`s a closed casket funeral, he looks like a vampire now, God only knows what he will look like when he`s finally dead.

Donald Trump has been publicly shaming and humiliating Sessions ever since he recused himself from the investigation into Russia`s attempted meddling in the 2016 election.

I haven`t heard a single politician, pundit or preacher come to his defense, arguing that a man of such integrity and high moral character shouldn`t be subjected to such despicable treatment.

Because of course the slimy racist doesn`t have any integrity, people defend him on strictly political terms.

We worry whenever Trump blasts him, only because it may mean that he`s getting ready to fire him. As much as we loathe Sessions we don`t want to see him fired, because Trump would replace him with a lackey who would fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Sessions endorsed Trump early in the 2016 presidential race, he travelled with the short-fingered vulgarian and got to know him very well. Sessions knew what a sick bastard Trump was, and he should never have agreed to serve as Attorney General.

I`m enjoying watching Trump torment Sessions on a daily basis.

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The Faith of Donald Trump: A Spiritual Biography Worst Book of the Century

Many biographies have been written about Donald Trump, they chronicle his multiple bankruptcies, extramarital affairs with porn stars and Playboy centerfolds, dubious business transactions, feuds with celebrities, misogynist and racist behavior …

Reading about Trump is like swimming in a septic tank, it`s not for the faint of heart.

Competing with all these tomes that delve into the deviant behavior of Trump there`s a biography that purports to delve into the godly side of the short-fingered vulgarian, and it`s not a satire.

The Faith of Donald Trump: A Spiritual Biography was written by David Brody, a reporter for the Christian Broadcasting Network, and Scott Lamb, a Baptist minister. Holy shit!

You`d expect a book about Trump`s spiritual life to be as skimpy as Two Corinthians, but it`s a hefty 375 pages.

This is not a book review, I have not read and have no intentions of reading this abomination. I am sick and tired of white evangelicals justifying and rationalizing Trump`s immoral behavior; I`d rather be dead than waste three or four hours of my life reading this drivel.

In the book flap there`s a blurb by Newt Gingrich, you remember him, he`s the devout Catholic who visited his cancer-stricken wife at the hospital to plead for a divorce so he could marry his mistress. Hopefully Newt`s endorsement will be enough to scare anyone from reading this claptrap.

I don`t know who is more despicable, Donald Trump or the white evangelicals who hail this Antichrist figure as a Messiah.

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Donald Trumps Seeks Authoritarian Solutions for Gun Violence and Opioid Crisis

Donald Trump has expressed a fondness and affinity for dictators like Russian President Vladimir Putin, Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte, and even North Korean Dear Leader (smart cookie) Kim Jong-un.

Like the aforementioned despots Trump has an aversion for the hallmarks of any thriving democracy: An independent judiciary, a robust and free press, and the concept of due process.

Trump, during a bipartisan meeting at the White House to discuss school safety and gun violence, said it might be better in some cases to allow police to confiscate guns from potentially disturbed individuals before allowing due process. “Take the gun first, go through due process second,” Trump declared. That`s the proclamation of a tin-pot dictator, and not a sentence that a United States president should ever utter.

In the same week that Trump expressed disdain for due process he also advocated the death penalty for drug dealers. At a White House summit on opioid abuse he said:

“If you shoot one person, they give you life, they give you the death penalty. These people can kill 2,000, 3,000 people and nothing happens to them.”

According to Wikipedia more than 14,000 people have been killed since Duterte declared a war on drugs and ordered the police and military to kill drug dealers without due process. There`s a river of blood flowing in the Philippines, but drugs are as plentiful as they were before Duterte`s ill-conceived war on drugs.

Trump would be well-advised to focus on the public health component of the opioid crisis. Tough talk like demanding the death penalty for drug dealers might excite his base, but it won`t do anything to fight the opioid epidemic.

Authoritarian measures won`t solve the intractable problems like gun violence or the opioid crisis, Trump needs to remember that he`s the president of the greatest democracy in the world and not the dictator of a Third World dictatorship.

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Study Says Cats Would Kill You If They Were Bigger

“If you`ve ever suspected that your cat might be plotting to kill you, you might be on to something.

A new study from researchers at the University of Edinburgh shows many parallels between domestic cats and their larger feline brethren, including aggression and neurotic behavior.
The study rated domestic cats as expressing high levels of dominance, impulsiveness and neuroticism, characteristics they share with larger felines like the clouded leopard, African lions, snow leopards and Scottish wildcats. House cats also have high levels of anxiety, insecurity, tension, suspicion and fear of people.
the results of the study, while not completely a shock, are unnerving, especially a conclusion that domestic cats have a desire to kill humans and would likely do so if they were bigger and stronger.”

Orlando Sentinel

Cats are cute and cuddly, but they are also mean and sadistic. When I moved into my house I had a problem with mice, but the cat that I owned at the time, Patches, quickly got rid of the pests. Patches would toy with a poor hapless mouse for hours before she would finally put it out of its misery.

You may deceive yourself into thinking that your kitty would lick you to death if it was as big as a lion, but truth be told he would probably smack you around for a few minutes before tearing you apart limb from limb.

My cat Tico tips the scale at 25 pounds, and he is so fat and fluffy, and as cute as a button. He has a penchant for plopping down on my face when I`m taking a nap, he`s drawn to the warmth of my body, but I also think he just might be trying to smother me.

I don`t care if my cats are plotting to kill me, I love them to death.

Read More:
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-cats-kill-you-bigger-study-post.html

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Awkward: Donald Trump Massages Mike Pence’s Thigh During Billy Graham Memorial Service

“During a memorial service for the late Reverend Billy Graham in the Capitol Rotunda on Wednesday, President Trump, in a rare display of public affection, reached over his wife Melania to place a firm, but gentle hand on Mike Pence`s thigh. Pence looked as comfortable with the president`s touch as you`d imagine, his mouth squeezed tightly shut, his hands gripping the hem of his suit jacket.

Was it a gesture of reassurance? A warning? We may never know. I would like to know how Karen felt about it, though.”

The Cut

I`m not surprised that Trump reached over his wife Melania and placed his tiny hand on Pence`s upper thigh, he knows darn well that if he had placed his hand anywhere on Melania`s body, she would have swatted the disgusting little thing.

Pence is a devout evangelical and perhaps Trump was only trying to console his Vice President on the death of the evangelical icon, or maybe he was just screwing with him. But one thing is sure: Those were the longest moments in the life of the noted homophobe.

After the memorial service Pence probably retreated to his prayer closet and uttered this prayer:

Lord I can resist an ugly orange baboon when he touches my thigh, but please don`t let Jared Kushner caress my thigh lest I become a sodomite.

Read More:

https://www.thecut.com/2018/02/donald-trump-touches-mike-pences-thigh-billy-graham-memorial.html

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Dude Attempts to Rob 7-Eleven By Pointing Finger at Clerk

“Authorities are looking for help identifying a man they say pointed a finger at a 7-Eleven clerk and demanded cash early Wednesday before leaving empty handed.

According to Southwest Florida Crime Stoppers, the man walked into the store with a red shirt covering his face, and approached the clerk with a pointed finger.

The man demanded all the cash from the register, but the clerk refused and the man left the store.

He was seen riding a white bicycle north on Imperial Shores Blvd.”

CBS NEWS

If a dude attempts to rob a 7-Eleven by pointing his finger at the clerk, and leaves the store empty-handed on a bicycle, you don`t have to be clairvoyant or a crime novelist to write the next chapter in his life:

He will be nabbed by the cops and walk out of jail bowlegged a few weeks later.

I wonder what this hapless would-be robber told the clerk: Gimme all the money in the register and a Big Gulp or I will give you a proctology exam?

Moral of this story:

If you point your finger at a clerk demanding he hand over all the money in his register, there are three fingers pointing back at the biggest wanker in the country.

Read More:

http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2018/02/28/man-reportedly-attempts-to-rob-convenience-store-armed-with-a-finger/

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Parkland School Shooting: Would Donald Trump Really Have Run In?

“US President Donald Trump has said he would have run in to the Florida high school where 17 people were shot dead this month even if he was not armed.

`I really believe I`d run in there even if I didn`t have a weapon,` Mr Trump told a group of state governors gathered at the White House.”

BBC

Even if Trump possessed the valor of a Navy SEAL he`s not going to run into a school and confront an active shooter. If he jogs more than a couple of seconds he`s out of breath; he is so obese that he can`t run to the bathroom before soiling his diapers.

The five-time draft-dodger, derisively known as Captain Bone Spurs, is too much of a coward to confront a child brandishing a water gun let alone a madman toting an AR-15.

We don`t need false bravado from our commander-in-chief, we need action. Trump doesn`t have the courage to defy the NRA, and demand thorough background checks every time a citizen buys a gun including online and at gun shows. Trump doesn`t have the backbone to demand that Congress pass legislation banning all AR-15 type rifles.

The teenage survivors of the Parkland massacre are the true heroes, they have the courage to speak truth to power and demand sensible gun control.

Read More:

http://www.bbc.com/news/43202075

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Jon McNaughton’s Painting of Donald Trump is Crap

Jon McNaughton recently unveiled the latest painting in his Americana series, it depicts Donald Trump standing on a football field clutching a shredded, trampled and grass-stained American flag.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, and I admit that a jingoistic buffoon like Trump is as American as apple pie, and this painting certainly deserves to be part of the artist`s Americana series.

I`ve already seen McNaughton`s painting prominently displayed on the Facebook pages of MAGA true believers. It probably induces wet dreams of a naked Trump holding the American flag and leading a charge against Mexican, Muslims and other riff-raff in these cretins.

But back to the “work of art,” the president is standing on the gridiron, holding a desecrated American flag to his chest with one tiny hand, and holding a rag with his other hand. Only a fuc*ing moron would attempt to remove grass stains with a rag, the artist is as much of an idiot as the president he so clearly idolizes.

Trump has a pensive look on his face, as if he`s thinking it must have been those black sons of bitches who trampled all over this flag.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Mike Pence Has a Penchant for Planting Holy Kisses on Donald Trump’s Butt

“Dictionary.com has absolutely zero tolerance for Mike Pence kissing Donald Trump`s ass.

After video footage of a Wednesday Cabinet meeting showed the VP giving Trump an inordinate amount of praise, the dictionary took matters into its own hands, delivering a powerful blow to Pence`s ego with a ridiculously sassy, straight-forward tweet.

Retweeting a Washington Post analysis titled `In Cabinet meeting, Pence praises Trump once every 12 seconds for three minutes straight,` Dictionary.com`s official Twitter account called Pence out, defining his behavior in one word: sycophant.

`There`s a word for a person who would praise someone every 12 seconds. #VP #Pence,` the tweet read, linking out to the sycophant dictionary entry.”

Mashable

Only a preacher delivering a sermon on Jesus Christ can be excused for praising a man once every 12 seconds.

A man who praises a mere mortal once every 12 seconds during a speech is the very definition of a sycophant, or to put it into words that Donald Trump would understand, an ass-kissing toadie.

I couldn`t praise a giant like John Kennedy or Martin Luther King once every 12 seconds during a speech, who can bring himself to shower a lying sack of shit like Trump with compliments?

Jesus had nothing but words of compassion and kindness for prostitutes and other social outcasts, but he had ringing words of condemnation for hypocritical leaders like the Pharisees.

To use one of Trump`s favorite expressions “believe me” Jesus would call Trump everything but a child of God.

To hell with Pence and his evangelical faith that propels him to praise a loathsome pig, Dictionary.Com is spot on, he is the epitome of a sycophant.

Read More:

https://mashable.com/2017/12/22/dictionary-trolls-mike-pence-sycophant/#Sd6gLczGhsq3

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Oprah Winfrey Donald Trump Death Match: Hopefully They Would Kill Each Other

Donald Trump`s boundless ignorance is matched only by his mind-blowing ego, the perfect representation of the billionaire buffoon would be a blimp covered with an image of an empty suit.

I can think of only one celebrity who is as vapid and egotistical as Trump, and that`s Oprah Winfrey. The talk show diva preaches a New Age Gospel with herself as the Messiah. The perfect symbol of the billionaire braggart would be a blimp filled with flatulence, and an image of a golden calf.

Winfrey has been publicly playing with the idea of running for president in 2020, naturally Trump attacked her on his favorite social media platform, Twitter:

“Just watched a very insecure Oprah Winfrey, who at one point I knew very well, interview a panel of people on 60 Minutes. The questions were biased and slanted, the facts incorrect. Hope Oprah runs so she can be exposed and defeated just like all of the others!”

Winfrey had a mealy-mouthed response to Trump`s savage tweet:

“You don`t win by meeting any kind of negativity head-on.”

This answer is in keeping with Winfrey`s pseudo-spirituality where you don`t attack evil, but engage it with dialogue.

I`m sorry, but you attack evil openly, and I make no secret that I despise Trump`s fascism and racism as much as I despise Winfrey`s New Age bullcrap and hypocrisy.

Winfrey`s social circle included sexual predator Harvey Weinstein, fellow lesbian Hillary Clinton, and real estate developer Donald Trump.

I`ve been advocating for gay and lesbian rights publicly since I first started posting my essays online in 1998, but I despise lesbians like Clinton and Winfrey who are too damn cowardly to come out of the closet, even though practically everybody knows they aren`t heterosexual.

I would pay anything to watch a pay-per-view death match between Winfrey and Trump that resulted in the death of both of these gasbags.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Outrage: 288-Pound Woman Runs Marathon

“When Ragen Chastain sets a goal, she wants it to be nearly unattainable. Which is how she went from hating running to signing up for a marathon.

`I decided I wanted to try a challenge and jump out of my comfort zone, and distance running had always been the thing that I was worse at in the entire world,` Chastain, 41, a speaker and writer, tells PEOPLE. `So I signed up for a marathon first thing.`

`I was looking around for other plus-size people who had done marathons, and I saw a lot of people who started the marathon but didn`t finish it,` she says. `So I was just really inspired by the idea of being plus-size and finishing the marathon, and the visibility that would create for other people who wanted to try it and thought they couldn`t because of their size.`

After completing a 20-week training program, Chastain successfully (if not painfully) finished the Seattle Marathon.

AJC.Com

I applaud Chastain for not accepting the politically-correct orthodoxy that there`s nothing wrong with weighing as much as a baby hippo, and taking steps to lose some weight.

I`m assuming that her intention was to lose weight, but God forbid if her intention was solely to give visibility to fat people.

Baby steps …

How about finishing a 50-yard dash in under five minutes before tackling a marathon?

Instead of “signing up for a marathon first thing,” she should have run to Jenny Craig or to a gym to sign up for a one-year membership.

I doesn’t matter that she completed a 20-week training program before running in the marathon, a 288-pound woman who runs in a marathon is risking a heat stroke, heart attack or stroke.

Chastain is self-centered beyond belief, sure she could have set a world record for a heifer completing a marathon, but did she consider what a eyesore she was to the spectators? Or that if she passed out first responders would have to lift her fat carcass onto a stretcher?

I hope the spectators didn`t enable her vanity by cheering her when she limped over the finish line.

Chastain would be well-advised not to run any more marathons until she drops down to 160 pounds.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Humiliates Racist Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions Once Again

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III (a moniker befitting a Southern racist), was a United States Senator from Alabama from 1997 to 2017.

In his long tenure in the Senate Sessions uttered many racist remarks, and opposed Civil Rights legislation, but perhaps the most odious stain in his legacy was his early support of Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election.

Sessions was the first Senator to endorse Trump, and he helped legitimize his candidacy. In the Day of Judgement the racist Keebler elf will have a lot to answer to answer for; I don`t envy the racist bastard.

Trump rewarded Sessions by appointing him Attorney General of the United States, the Republican Senator`s dream job.

But Session`s dream job quickly turned into a nightmare when he recused himself from all Department of Justice probes into the 2016 campaign, including looking into Russia`s involvement. Trump blames the appointment of Special Counsel Robert Mueller on Session`s recusal.

The faithful lackey instantly became a pariah in Trump`s eyes, and the president has brutally attacked him on Twitter ever since. Just when you think the beleaguered Attorney General is finally out of the doghouse, Trump publically humiliates him again.

This morning Trump once again publicly berated his own Attorney General tweeting.

“If all of the Russian meddling took place during the Obama administration, right up to January 20th, why aren`t they the subject of investigation? Why didn`t Obama do something about the meddling? Why aren`t the Dem crimes under investigation? Ask Jeff Session!”

The Justice Department isn`t Trump`s private detective agency, and he shouldn`t be publicly urging Sessions to investigate the previous administration.

To add insult to injury Trump misspelled the Attorney General`s name, referring to him as “Session” instead of “Sessions.”

The DOJ hasn`t responded to Trump`s latest Twitter tantrum. I don`t feel a sliver of sympathy for Sessions, he should have known better, Trump has a long history of betraying his closest friends.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Viral Video! Cat Naps in Front of Busy Escalator!

“It`s the epitome of cat behavior.

An eight-second clip that has been viewed over 1.3 million times on Facebook, shows a feline sitting in front of a busy metro station escalator, unbothered by the inconvenience she is causing riders. The calico kitty sits almost dead center to where people need to exit, seemingly confident that the dozens of people stepping off the escalator will move to accommodate her nap time.

And they do!”

People

I`ve owned cats all of my adult life, and I learned very quickly to walk very gingerly because they are liable to plop down and take a nap anywhere: Next to your bed, the bathtub, the middle of a hallway …

Felines expect their owners to be aware of their location at all times, and to navigate our way around their home without stepping on their paws or tail.

I`m not surprised that this calico kitty decided to sit in front of a busy subway station escalator, with the full confidence that the commuters would give her a wide berth.

This kitty may not have survived much longer than a New York Minute in an escalator in the Big Apple, but thank goodness all the commuters accommodated her nap time in the busy Istanbul metro station she calls home.

Link to video:

http://people.com/pets/cat-escalator-turkey-metro-station-taksim/

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Did Melania Trump Hire Exorcist to Cleanse White House of Obama and Clinton Demons?

“A hoax circulating on Facebook claims that first lady Melania Trump hired a professional exorcist to cleanse the White House of past demons from the Barack Obama and Bill Clinton years.

`Melania Trump hired exorcist to `cleanse White House of Obama demons,` read the headline on February 8 from Your News Wire.

The story was flagged by Facebook users as being potentially fabricated, as part of the social media`s efforts to combat fake news.

Stephanie Grisham, a spokeswoman for Melania Trump, says any reports claiming the first lady had a ceremony to rid the White House of demons before moving in is false and `not true in any way.`”

Politifact

Donald Trump and his sycophants relentlessly claim that the mainstream media spreads fake news to downplay the achievements of the Trump administration, in reality it`s right wing web sites that are the foremost purveyors of fake news.

Even the most outlandish and ridiculous fake news item that appears in one of these right wing conspiracy sites soon spreads like wildfire in this alternative universe, and it`s accepted as Gospel by dimwitted white evangelicals.

Melania might hire a dermatologist to lighten her hubby`s orange complexion, a Feng Shui practitioner to bring some harmony to the White House, or an Orthodox priest to bless the White House by sprinkling some holy water (of course she would warn him not to sprinkle any water on the designer furniture), but she would never in a million years hire an exorcist to cleanse the White House of past demons from the Barack Obama and Bill Clinton years.

Although it might be a good idea to hire a professional exorcist to cleanse the White House after one year of the Trump administration. No doubt the short-fingered vulgarian has attracted a legion of demons.

I have no faith in the efficacy of con artist exorcists to cleanse the White House of demons, but hiring one to cleanse the People`s House would be performance art at its most entertaining and educational.

Read More:

http://www.politifact.com/punditfact/statements/2018/feb/19/yournewswirecom/fake-news-claims-melania-trump-hired-exorcist-clea/

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Banish Fergie From America for Destroying National Anthem! America Will Never Forgive or Forget!

In 2005, the Black Eyes Peas featuring Fergie were performing “Let`s Get It Started” in San Diego when she got things started by peeing all over herself. There was urine running down her legs and a massive urine stain on her crotch that could be seen by her fans in the nosebleed seats.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and the photos of the urine-drenched Fergie spoke volumes of her abject humiliation. Fergie should have retired from show business, and dedicated the rest of her life to washing the diapers of babies in the Third World. But homegirl swallowed her humiliation and kept right on rocking.

I forgave the pop diva even though I can`t stand the Black Eyes Peas, and especially Fergie`s weak rapping skills.

I thought that Fergie would never sink lower than that fateful night in San Diego, but I was wrong, sweet Holy Jesus I was wrong.

Fergie`s idiosyncratic rendition of the National Anthem at Sunday`s NBA All-Star Game was godawful, it`s the miracle that Fergie managed to leave the arena without being mauled by the fans.

The bewilderment and shock was etched in the faces of the basketball players and the fans as Fergie was destroying our beloved National Anthem.

Even Rosanne Barr who until now had delivered worst rendition of the National Anthem was in shock, she tweeted:

“Who saw Fergie`s national anthem performance at the NBA All Star Game? she tweeted. think mine was better lowkey.”

Fergie finally apologized today, telling TMZ:

“I`ve always been honored and proud to perform the national anthem and last night I wanted to try something special for the NBA,” she said. I`m a risk taker artistically, but clearly this rendition didn`t strike the intended tone. I love this country and honestly tried my best.”

Fergie`s apology is too little too late, at the worst she deserves the death penalty, and at the least she deserves to be banished from the United States of America.

I can`t even begin to describe what a mockery Fergie made of the National Anthem, see for yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZOe67lFsvY

Tiny Flying Saucer Rediscovered at London Science Museum After 59 Years

“Fragments of a miniature flying saucer from an incident known as the British Roswell have been rediscovered in a cigarette box at London`s Science Museum.

The item was originally discovered on Silpho Moor near Scarborough in 1957. The 16-inch metal disc weighing 22 lbs was reportedly inscribed with hieroglyphics similar to those found on the Roswell incident wreckage in 1947; the most infamous of all supposed UFO discoveries.

The unidentified object was found to contain a book made of 17 thin copper sheets, each covered in more hieroglyphics. Local café owner Philip Longbottom claimed the book translated into a 2,000-word message from an alien called Ullo, warning: You will improve or disappear.

Experts at the Natural History Museum in London quickly decided that the `Silpho UFO` was an elaborate hoax, as there was no evidence that the metal was from elsewhere in the solar system, and the item showed no signs of having passed through Earth`s atmosphere at high temperatures.”

International Business Times

London`s Science Museum would be well-advised to hire a dozen security personnel as UFO nuts will soon descend upon it to venerate the UFO artifact.

The 16-inch metal disc inscribed with hieroglyphics was originally discovered on Silpho Moor near Scarborough in 1957. Hmm, could it be that this mysterious disc was an early prototype of the Wham-O Frisbee, and the “hieroglyphics” were actually copyright symbols?

Experts at the Natural Museum in London quickly dismissed the “Silpho UFO` as an elaborate hoax, but UFO experts will no doubt claim that the tiny flying saucer belongs to a Lilliputian race of aliens from the planet Uranus.

The unidentified object contained a book made of 17 thin copper sheets covered in hieroglyphics. A UFO-loving weirdo claimed the 2,000 word message was a message from an alien warning the human race: Improve or disappear. I`m not an expert on deciphering hieroglyphics, but I would guess the message is actually: There`s a sucker born every minute.

Enough already with this UFO tomfoolery!

Read More:
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/british-roswell-ufo-rediscovered-science-museum-after-59-years-1660635

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‘Thoughts and Prayers’ My Ass, We Need to Take Action on Gun Violence

“A student from the Florida high school that was the scene of a mass shooting Wednesday called out U.S. President Donald Trump over his offering of `prayers and condolences.`

The student, named Sarah Chadwick, who attends Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, responded to the president`s post on Wednesday evening, in which he wrote: `My prayers and condolences to the families of the victims of the terrible Florida shooting. No child, teacher or anyone else should ever feel unsafe in an American school.`

I don`t want your condolences you fucking price of shit, my friends and teachers were shot. Multiple of my fellow classmates are dead. Do something instead of sending prayers. Prayers won`t fix this. But Gun control will prevent it from happening again.”

Global News

The default response of politicians to natural and man-made disasters is to offer their “thoughts and prayers.” After every school shooting that ends in the slaughter of innocent children, politicians offer their thoughts and prayers, twiddle their thumbs, and avoid taking any concrete action that could prevent such massacres.

If I had a dime for every time a politician extended his thoughts and prayers to a grieving community, I would be a cynical but wealthy man.

With all due respect to people of faith who believe in the efficacy of prayer, fuc* thoughts and prayers, the Almighty expects us to take action against evil.

The only time when thoughts and prayers from politicians isn`t hypocritical and cowardly is when they pray before they debate legislation that will curb gun violence.

Thoughts and prayers emanating from President Donald Trump is especially rich considering the buffoon has thoughts only for himself, and the only time he prays is when he begs God not to let him get caught when he screws a porn star or Playboy model.

Kudos to Sarah Chadwick for calling out Trump on his bullshi*, thoughts and prayers from craven politicians are like salt on a wound. Sarah no doubt welcomes thoughts and prayers from her family and friends, but the only words she wants to hear from Trump is what steps he will take to prevent gun violence.

Sarah spoke in a manner in which the vulgar steaming pile of shi* would understand; her words may offend the tender sensibilities of some but I hope they provoke action on the issue of gun violence.

Read More:

https://globalnews.ca/news/4027671/florida-school-shooting-donald-trump-thoughts-prayers-criticized/

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FEBRUARY 2018 ARCHIVES PAGE TWO

https://robertpaulreyes.com/february-2018-archives-page-two/

 

Donald Trump is an Abomination and We Must Get Rid of Him by Any Means Necessary

Donald Trump is a Pathological liar. Serial philanderer. Alleged child rapist. Admitted pussy-grabber. Insecure narcissist. Chicken hawk draft dodger. Twitter troll. Sphincter-face insult king. Bankrupt billionaire. Short-fingered vulgarian. Porn star-chasing pig. Limelight-loving loser.

You don`t have to be a psychic or a a political analyst to know that historians will fill tomes with millions of words (more nuanced and subtle), but arriving at the same conclusion as this humble blogger.

Generations from now citizens will wonder why we elected such an abomination, and why Congress and the public allowed him to remain in power.

But now, at this moment, I am outraged that white evangelicals not only tolerate a crass con man who is the antithesis of Christianity, but actually believe that he was anointed by the Almighty to make America Great Again.

The white evangelical movement has been terminally tainted by their insane support of Trump, and our democratic institutions have been severely damaged, but I`m optimistic that our democracy will survive.

I take solace in the fact that I have repeatedly spoken out against Trump, and I beseech all my readers to join the resistance. We can and must defeat Trump, his evangelical enablers and the spineless Republican congressional defenders.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Frank Ocean’s ‘Moon River’ Minimalist Masterpiece

Moon River is the quintessential crooner`s ballad, the Oscar-winning Henry Mancini-penned standard was originally performed by actress Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film Breakfast at Tiffany`s, it became the theme song for easy listening king Andy Williams, and it`s been covered by every crooner worth his or her salt from Frank Sinatra to Judy Garland to Sarah Vaughan to Morrissey.

Moon River was tailor-made for neo-soul crooner Frank River, and on Valentine`s Day he released his idiosyncratic version of the pop standard. The minimalist masterpiece featuring the singer`s dreamy vocals will cross you in style to the rainbow`s end where you can forget all your troubles for a short spell.

We all need a respite from the tragic news of the school shooting in Florida, relax my friends and enjoy:

 

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Native Americans and All Minorities Despise Elizabeth Warren

“Sen. Elizabeth Warren says President Donald Trump disrespects Native Americans by referring to her as Pocahontas, and she says that while she`s not enrolled in any tribe, I never used my family tree to get a break or … advance my career.

The Massachusetts Democrat tells the National Congress of American Indians that her mother`s family was part Native American and her father`s parents `were bitterly opposed to their relationship.`”

TIME

Of course President Donald Trump disrespects Native Americans, the decrepit racist disrespects Hispanics, Blacks, and every other non-white race.

Trump longs for the halcyon days when Blacks picked cotton, Latinos toiled in the fields, Chinese laid down railroad tracks, and Native Americans were confined to their reservations.

It`s beyond dispute that Trump disrespects Native Americans, but Elizabeth Warren is the last person on Earth who should be defending them. She falsely claimed to be part Native American to further her academic career.

I`m a Latino, and I would be outraged if a Caucasian falsely claimed Hispanic heritage for political gain.

With all due respect Warren should shut the hell up until she provides actual documentation to substantiate her claim of having Native American blood.

There are several companies that offer DNA testing for less than $100, if Warren has 1% Native American blood it will show up in the results.

Warren belongs in the same basket of racist deplorables as Trump, and she should shut her trap.

Read More:

http://time.com/5158552/elizabeth-warren-donald-trump-pocahontas/

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Donald Trump Jr.’s Wife Taken to Hospital After Opening Letter Containing White Powder

“An envelope with suspicious powder sent to one of President Donald Trump`s sons also included a threatening note, senior law enforcement officials told NBC News.

`You are an awful, awful person. I am surprised that your father lets you speak on TV,` the note to Donald Trump Jr. said, according to the officials.

It also said: `You the family idiot. Eric looks smart. This is the reason why people hate you. You are getting what you deserve. So shut the f*** up.`”

NBC News

This is really pushing the envelope when it comes to expressing a political opinion.

It goes without saying, although I won`t miss an opportunity to hammer the point home, that Donald Trump Jr. is a fuc*ing moron, and that he would be doing the world a favor if he shut the fuc* up. Junior`s demented old dad spouts enough nonsense for the whole family, we certainly don`t need the family idiot putting in his two cents` worth.

The sender of the dispatch was spot on when he pointed out Junior`s intellectual shortcomings, and he was expressing our sentiments when he advised him to keep a low profile, but it was beyond the pale for him to include what turned out to be corn starch.

The sender terrified Junior`s wife, Vanessa Trump, she was taken to a New York hospital as a precaution. The poor woman suffers enough already, on a daily basis, being married to an imbecile.

The writer of the nasty note stated that Eric Trump looks smart, which makes me wonder if he`s blind or somewhat of a moron himself. Forgive my political-incorrectness, but Eric looks like a freaking retard.

I would be the happiest person in the world if we never heard another word from Donald Trump, or his idiot sons.

Read More:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/angry-note-sent-trump-jr-said-you-are-getting-what-n847651

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Michelle Obama’s Official Portrait an Abomination! Artist Amy Sherald Deserves to Burn in Hell!

“An official portrait of former first lady Michelle Obama was unveiled at the Smithsonian`s National Portrait Gallery Monday morning.

The painting was done by Baltimore artist Amy Sherald, who is known for her social justice painting style.

`Let`s just start by saying, `Wow,` again. Let me just take a minute. It`s amazing. Wow,` Obama said after the portrait was unveiled. The moment was met with a gasp and applause.

All presidents and first ladies have their portraits done and hung in the Portrait Gallery.”

The Daily Caller

With all due respect to the former First Lady, “Wow” my ass. Amy Sherald may be a preeminent social justice warrior, but she`s a pedestrian artist.

If I didn`t know who painted Michelle Obama I would have guessed he/she was a KKK sympathizer and not a social justice warrior, because the painting perpetrates the stereotype of the angry black woman. Michelle is depicted with a sullen expression, and her eyes look like the eyes of a dead fish.

Michelle may have pretended to be wowed by the painting, but when the abomination was unveiled there were audible gasps emanating from the shocked audience.

The woman in the official portrait looks nothing at all like Michelle, who the hell was the artist looking at when she was painting?

I have trouble coloring within the lines in a coloring book, but I could have rendered a more realistic portrait of Michelle with a painting brush sticking out of my ass.

There`s a special place reserved in hell for social justice warriors who dabble in painting.

Pic of Michelle`s portrait:

http://dailycaller.com/2018/02/12/michelle-obama-official-portrait-reaction/

Openly Gay Olympics Figure Skater Adam Rippon Refuses to Meet Anti-Gay Mike Pence

Vice President Mike Pence is the most anti-gay Republican leader, he supports anti-gay conversion therapy, and he declared that resources for a federal HIV/AIDS program should be directed only toward institutions that provide assistance to those seeking to change their sexual behavior.

Pence, a fervent born-again Christian, has justified and excused Trump`s long litany of sins: Chronic lying, greed, godawful treatment of women ranging from mocking their physical appearance to outright sexual assault, petty and vindictive nature, support of pedophile Roy Moore, gutter language …

Regardless what outrageous anti-Christian thing Trump says or does, the ultra-fundamentalist Pence still looks at his boss with a look of benign adoration. It`s safe to conclude that Pence will tolerate any sin that Trump engages in, with the exception of homosexuality. If Pence caught Trump in a threesome with General Mattis and General John Kelly, he would declare: Love and admiration of the military is one thing, but sodomizing generals is another! You are a degenerate sodomite, and I will no longer serve in your administration.

Given Pence`s blatant animosity of the gay and lesbian community, it should come as no surprise that openly gay figure skater Adam Rippon has criticized Pence`s homophobia, and expressed revulsion at the idea of meeting the Vice President.

Pence had a staffer try to set up a meeting between himself and Rippon, but he was rebuffed. Rippon should stand his ground and refuse to meet Pence, until he publicly condemns the insane practice of conversion therapy.

It`s easier for a fat pig like Trump to go through the eyes of a needle than it is to brainwash a gay man to become straight or vice versa.

The Olympics is all about the brotherhood of man, and the diversity of the world community, what the hell is Pence doing in South Korea anyway?

http://hollywoodlife.com/2018/02/09/donald-trump-hair-blowing-in-the-wind-malfunction-video/

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Donald Trump’s Panties in a Twist Over Video That Exposed Him as a Bald Freak

“Donald Trump, 71, might be the most narcissistic person on Earth, so it was wildly entertaining when a gust of wind blew apart his facade of seeming to have a full head of hair. The president was boarding Air Force One to head to Mar-A-Lago on Feb 2 when wind took his hair upwards and exposed what appeared to be a giant bald patch on the back of his head. The video went viral this week and everyone from late night talk show hosts to news anchors have been laughing it up. Of course Trump is having a fit that the world is mocking his epic hair malfunction and is doing everything to ensure that it never happens again.”

Hollywood Life

This is an update to my article:

Shock Video Proves Donald Trump`s Scalp is as Smooth and Bald as Baby`s Butt

http://thesop.org/story/20180207/shock-video-proves-donald-trumps-scalp-is-as-smooth-and-bald-as-babys-butt.html

Donald Trump is a thin-skinned narcissist, and whenever he`s mocked on SNL or by a late night comic he goes berserk.

Trump has endured countless jokes about his tiny hands (and by extension his tiny pecker), his mouth that resembles a sphincter, his orange complexion, his fat ass that can seat a UN delegation discussing world peace, and of course his ridiculous coiffure.

The orange buffoon has vehemently denied that he wears a toupee, but this viral video is proof positive that underneath the combover from hell or wig is a scalp that is as shiny and smooth as a bowling ball.

The only thing that would have been more embarrassing than being exposed as a bald freak, would be if Mike Pence had posted a pic of the decrepit fool changing his diapers on his Twitter feed.

The vain moron was livid when the video exposed him as a bald-faced liar and a bald orangutan.

There`s no satisfaction in blaming the wind, I`m sure Trump berated his staff for the humiliation he suffered when the wind blew apart the fake news that he has a full head of hair.

I wonder did Trump make Mike Pence manicure his tiny hands, order John Kelly to apply Vaseline to his sphincter-like mouth, command Ben Carson to measure his tiny penis and declare that he missed his calling and should be making adult movies, or force Hope Hicks to slather fake tan on his ugly mug.

Not that I feel sorry for his staff, they deserve to rot in hell for enabling the racist, short-fingered vulgarian.

Read More:

http://hollywoodlife.com/2018/02/09/donald-trump-hair-blowing-in-the-wind-malfunction-video/

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