Woman Beats Pregnant Sister Over Weave

“Angered that her pregnant sister refused to return a weave, a Florida woman allegedly pummeled her sibling, according to cops who arrested the accused assailant on a felony battery charge.

Police allege that Aryanna Ieasha Reed, 25, battered her sister Tyteahni, 24, during a confrontation Saturday afternoon at the victim`s Jacksonville apartment.

As detailed in a police report, Tyteahni told investigators that Reed had called her to demand the return of the hairpiece, which Reed had given to her sister as a Christmas present. When Tyteahni refused to return the weave, Aryanna came to the victim`s apartment and confronted her.”

The Smoking Gun

I`m cognizant that in da hood Tide bottles have become ad hoc street currency, with a bottle going for either $5 cash or $10 worth of weed or crack cocaine. In da hood it`s de rigueur for women to wear weaves; I wonder if weaves are used as a barter system in the inner city?

It certainly seems that weaves are highly treasured in economically-deprived municipalities, witness a weave in this sordid tale presented as a Christmas present.

Perhaps Aryanna was out of cash and she was desperate to buy crack, so she asked her sister to return the weave she had given to her as a Christmas present to use as barter to purchase crack. Not surprisingly the sister wasn`t inclined to return the weave considering she was wearing it on her head.

Violence is always lurking beneath the surface in the ghetto, and this verbal dispute over a weave quickly degenerated into a bloody fistfight with the pregnant sister getting the worst of it.

Aryanna was charged with aggravated battery on a pregnant woman, and naturally she accused the arresting officer of being a racist. I guess if a cop arrests a black woman for beating up her pregnant sister that makes him a racist.

Just another day in da hood …

Read More:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/pregnant-sisters-weave-fight-763905

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Jerry Rice’s Popeyes Chicken Commercial an Abomination! May He Rot in Hell!

I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area during the glory days of the San Francisco 49ers, watching Joe Montana connect with Jerry Rice for touchdown after touchdown was pure poetry in motion. Joe Cool and Jerry Rice exemplified grace and elegance on and off the field, and they are gridiron legends.

After his retirement Montana has appeared in several commercials, including the classic ATT commercial featuring Montana and Steve Young. Montana has managed to make money as as commercial spokesman without embarrassing himself.

Jerry Rice, on the other hand, has almost succeeded in destroying his elegant legacy on the football field with one tacky and disturbing commercial.

Rice is perpetrating the racist stereotype that blacks sho nuff love dem some fried chicken, this toxic commercial must be seen to be believed.

The commercial depicts Rice wearing a football helmet with the Popeyes Chicken logo, that has a piece of fried chicken attached to it.

I`m a Latino and I love tacos, but common sense and self-pride would inhibit me from wearing a T-shirt with the slogan: Orale ese, gimme some tacos.

Shame on Jerry Rice, he is an embarrassment to athletes, blacks, Americans and the entire human race. If there`s a God in heaven he will choke on a chicken bone and wake up in hell.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMwEm6xkDNc

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz-h0SdFx_A

Donald Trump Already Has 2020 Slogan: Keep America Great!

 

“Donald Trump hasn`t even taken the oath of office for his first term, but he`s already beginning to plot his re-election. He`s starting with a new slogan: Keep America Great.

With full confidence that he will be able to make good on his promise to `Make America Great Again,` the Republican president-elect told The Washington Post in an interview published Wednesday that he already has a vision for 2020.

`Are you ready?` he asked his interviewer. `Keep America Great,` exclamation point.

Trump immediately demanded his lawyer come into the room and explore whether the slogan should be trademarked. He later vacillated on whether the exclamation point was needed.”

CNBC

America was already great before Donald Trump was elected president, and the greatness of America manifested in her diversity, freedom and creativity will ensure that America will remain great even after four or eight years of a Trump administration.

Trump is brimming with confidence as evidenced by his pondering a 2020 reelection slogan, unfortunately like any run-of-the-mill egomaniac he`s only confident about his personal success. As long as his brand is on the rise, I don`t think Trump cares if Putin annexes Alaska, China erects an artificial island twenty miles from Taiwan, and Iran invades Iraq.

I hope and trust that the majority of Americans who didn`t buy Trump`s “Make America Great” crap will continue to make America great by opposing his fascist agenda every step of the way.

I`m hesitant to offer Trump any advice, but he should ditch the exclamation point, it didn`t work out particularly well for Jeb Bush.

Read More:
http://www.cnbc.com/2017/01/18/donald-trump-2020-campaign-ready-with-keep-america-great-slogan.html

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Yellow-headed Moth With Tiny Genitalia Named After Donald Trump

“A yellow-headed moth with tiny genitalia now shares a name with the nation`s soon-to-be 45th President.

Scientists have named a new species of moth Neopalpa donaldtrumpi after President-elect Donald Trump – partially because the yellow, puffy scales on the critter`s head look like the Republican`s signature coiffed `do.

`The specific epithet is selected because of the resemblance of the scales on the frons (head) of the moth to Mr. Trump`s hairstyle,` taxonomist Vazrick Nazari wrote in a new paper.”

New York Daily News

It makes perfect sense to name a moth after Donald Trump, moths are attracted to artificial lights, and we are all familiar with Trump`s attraction to klieg lights.

A moth that`s attracted to artificial lights, who has puffy yellow scales on his head that bear a remarkable resemblance to Trump`s hairdo, and has tiny genitalia — even in comparison to other moths, how could scientists not name it after Trump?

Moths are considered major agricultural pests in many parts of the world, Donald Trump is considered a pest, not only in America, but throughout the world.

When a moth invades my home I kill it with a fly swatter with a flick of my wrist, would to God it were as easy to get rid of Donald J. Trump.

Read More:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/yellow-headed-moth-named-donald-trump-article-1.2949239

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Unipiper Keeps Portland Weird by Shoveling Snow While Riding Unicycle

“Oregon`s Unipiper proved `Keep Portland Weird` is an all-seasons struggle when he was filmed shoveling snow while riding his unicycle and playing bagpipes.

The Unipiper, aka Brian Kidd, posted a video to YouTube showing him shoveling snow from the sidewalk in his Portland neighborhood.
Kidd, whose unicycle multitasking videos have repeatedly gone viral, rides his unicycle and plays `The Imperial March` from Star Wars on his flame-shooting bagpipes while clearing the snow.”

UPI

I love snow, it turns even the most gritty urban neighborhood into a virginal winter wonderland. But after a few moments of gazing with wonder and amazement at the beautiful scenery, I think to myself: Damn, I have to shovel my driveway!

Clearing a driveway is a precarious task, if you exert too much energy you risk slipping and cracking your skull. That`s why I usually pay a neighborhood kid a few dollars to do it for me.

The unipiper is a wanker plain and simple: How dare he show up average males, who can`t walk and chew gum at the same time, by shoveling snow while riding his unicycle and playing flaming bagpipes.

The unipiper should consider keeping Portland weird by jumping off a skyscraper while clad in diapers and playing a flute.

Read More:
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/01/17/Portland-man-shovels-snow-while-riding-unicycle-playing-bagpipes/6231484683993/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=7

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Trump’s Twitter Feed is a Window to His Mind

“Trump has been climbing the Twitter charts recently, thanks in part to his frequent use of the social networking site. Sometime on Monday he surpassed the 20 million mark.

According to the measuring tool TwitterCounter, Trump is the 68th-most-followed user on the site, just behind Canadian singer Avril Lavigne and right ahead of Indian actor Aamir Khan.

Trump`s aides had been keeping a close eye on the follower number, waiting for the account to reach 20 million.”

CNN

We don`t filter our thoughts, sometimes they emerge from the darkest part of our soul, and our thoughts don`t accurately reflect our personality or character. The id initiates instinctive impulses than often run contrary to our religious and political beliefs.

The most loathsome words and concepts lurk in our minds, but as civilized and educated people we seldom let them escape from our lips.

Think of Donald Trump`s Twitter feed as a digital manifestation of his mind, his tweets provide us with a real-time representation of what`s going on in his mind. Of course Trump`s tweets are disjointed, confusing and frequently odious, none of us carries on a coherent politically-correct conversation in our mind.

Trump`s spokespersons and surrogates have the impossible job of deciphering his tweets, hell even Trump has a hard time explaining his tweets.

Trump would be better off if he had only 20 Twitter followers instead of 20 million, but he`s addicted to the social media platform and his stubby little fingers will continue to expose what`s going on in his little mind.

Read More:

http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/16/media/donald-trump-twitter-20-million-followers/

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Democrat Lawmaker Wants to Build ‘Almost Presidential Hillary Clinton Museum’

 

“An `almost presidential` museum should be built in Westchester County to recognize Hillary Clinton and other presidential candidates who won the popular vote but lost, Greenburgh`s town supervisor says.

Paul Feiner, a Democrat, said he isn`t suggesting using town or government funding for a museum or library, but wants a local college to take on the project, which he says would boost tourism in the area.”

Lohud

I can understand Paul Feiner`s desire to erect an “Almost Presidential Museum” in Westchester County to commemorate Hillary Clinton almost breaking the ultimate glass ceiling, such a curiosity would bring in a lot of revenue to his county.

An “Almost Presidential Hillary Clinton Museum” would quickly become a shrine that would attract millions of pantsuit-clad lesbians and feminists from all over the world.

But Feiner is a perfect example of the liberal who can`t accept the reality that against all odds Donald Trump became the President of the United States.

Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades; Hillary`s popular vote victory and her senior citizen discount won`t get her a cup of coffee for less than $2 at Starbucks.

Like it or not, blowhard billionaire Donald Trump is the legitimate freely elected president, we should accept this reality and move on.

Read More:
http://www.lohud.com/story/news/politics/2017/01/16/hillary-clinton-museum/96632124/

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New Yorker Magazine Cover Captures the Essence of Donald Trump

“With just one week until President-elect Donald Trump`s inauguration, The New Yorker used its cover to imagine what his presidency will be like.

The cover features Trump trying to fit into an amusement ride meant for children.”

Huffington Post

The cover depicts Trump “driving” a stationary car meant for a child.

This New Yorker cover perfectly captures the essence of Donald Trump. The blowhard billionaire rants, raves and tweets, but he`s not moving himself or the country forward. All of his histrionics and diatribes are nothing but hot air, and they quickly dissipate, although they do leave a foul odor that lingers.

A toy car would be ideally suited for Trump, I imagine it`s difficult for the short-fingered vulgarian to handle a normal-sized steering wheel.

The New Yorker is taking the proper approach in handling Trump, that is don`t try to delegitimize his presidency, he won fair and square, but by all means ridicule him.

I used to think a clown car perfectly captured the spirit of Trump, but I must admit that a toy car ride is even better.

Fasten your seat belts, we`re in for a rough ride, a colicky man-baby is behind the wheel.

Link to cover:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-new-yorker-cover_us_5878da72e4b09281d0ea6388

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Obama’s Anti-white Bias is Responsible for the Rise of Donald Trump

November 2008 flush with hope and change I cast my ballot for Barack Hussein Obama, and I rejoice with unspeakable joy when he wins.

I`m proud that I participated in history; Obama`s victory instills me with hope that one day a Latino will sit in the Oval Office.

Obama`s vision of a post-racial America has come to fruition, and I look forward to four or eight years of hopes realized and change codified into just laws.

But my hopes and dreams are soon dashed to smithereens! Like almost all biracial individuals Obama identifies as black, and he seems to have a self-loathing of his white nature which manifests itself in a prejudice towards white people in general, and white police officers in particular.

Whenever there was an interaction between a black criminal and a white police officer that resulted in violence, Obama instinctively took the side of the black lawbreaker. Not only did Obama take the side of petty black criminals, but he also disparaged the police.

As a biracial person who was raised in the Muslim faith, and later converted to Christianity, Obama was ideally suited to lead our diverse nation, but his bias against white people only served to widen the chasm that separates us.

So long Obama! Good bye Obama Phones and Obamacare! Adios leading from behind! Hasta la vista pandering to Muslim despots! Bye “if I had a son he would look like Trayvon Martin.” Goodbye identity politics.

Obama planted the toxic seed that led to the rise of Donald Trump, proving the maxim that he that sows the wind will reap the whirlwind.

Thanks to Obama instead of living in a post-racial America we are awaking to a nightmare.

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Orangutan Slaps Selfie-Taking Cretin

“A tourist traveling with friends in Indonesia captured their encounter with an initially-friendly orangutan that ended up slapping one of the men in the face.

The orangutan appears unafraid of the humans and approaches them to receive some offered snacks.

The primate appears content to take food from the hands and mouths of the men, but seems suddenly annoyed when one of the men attempts to take a selfie with it.

The orangutan slaps the man in the face and quickly backs away from him.”

UPI

Selfie-taking morons are a worldwide pestilence, as this video proves even in the jungles of Indonesia you will find these wankers.

An orangutan stepped out of the jungle and and hopped on a boat hoping to interact with fellow civilized creatures, at first things went well as the humans shared snacks with their visitor.

But when the orangutan observed the fools taking selfies, he bitch slapped the hell out of one of the cretins. Even an orangutan instinctively knows that selfie-taking is uncivilized behavior.

If you observe anyone taking a selfie you have my permission to slap the hell of them, I won`t pay your legal bills but you will enjoy my moral support.


Read More:
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/01/13/Orangutan-climbs-onto-tourist-boat-in-Indonesia-slaps-selfie-taker-in-the-face/1811484329420/?spt=sec&or=on

Rep. John Lewis Declares Donald Trump Isn’t a Legitimate President

“For the first time, a leading Democrat has called into question Donald Trump`s legitimacy as president.

Rep. John Lewis, a Democratic congressman from Georgia and civil-rights icon, told NBC`s Chuck Todd in an interview for Sunday`s `Meet the Press` that he believes Russia`s alleged hacking aimed at helping Trump in the 2016 race makes Trump an illegitimate president.

Asked whether he would forge a relationship with President-elect Trump, Lewis said: It`s going to be very difficult. I don`t see this president-elect as a legitimate president.”

The Washington Post

The Democrats and Republican Never Trumpers have done everything possible to prevent Donald Trump from assuming office: Recounts fizzled, inciting an Electoral College revolt failed. Their only remaining hope is to convince Obama to declare martial law before Trump is inaugurated, but that ain`t going to happen.

Failing miserably to overturn the results of a free and fair election, they are now resigned to delegitimizing Trump.

I respect and admire Rep. John Lewis, he is a successful congressman, a civil rights hero, and a living legend, but he is tarnishing his legacy with is ridiculous assertion that Trump is an illegitimate president.

It`s impossible to prove that Russia`s alleged hacking tipped the election in favor of Trump, Hillary has only herself to blame for her humiliating defeat. The Russians didn`t coerce Hillary to set up a server in her basement, they didn`t convince her to ignore the crucial battleground states of Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, and they didn`t drug her to induce her to feint on her feet at the 9/11 event.

Trump is supremely unqualified to serve as commander-in-chief, but voters preferred a know-nothing blowhard over a conniving and corrupt witch. Trump is a clown, vulgarian, serial pussy grabber, egomaniac, and the LEGITIMATE President of the United States.

Lewis needs to move on, accept the legitimacy of the Trump administration and focus on turning the Democratic Party into an effective opposition.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/01/13/john-lewis-doesnt-think-donald-trump-is-a-legitimate-president/?utm_term=.33f79a57a402

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Why Your Cat Doesn’t Like to be Picked Up

 

I adore my cat Tico and I express my love by petting and kissing him, and lavishing him with treats and toys. One thing I never do is pick him up and cuddle him; I would strain my back if i picked up my 25-pound tubby. But there are other reasons why I never pick up my giant ball of fur.

Cats are predators and they tend to perch on top of the kitchen counter, refrigerator or a dresser so they can survey their territory. But a cat is a proud creature and he doesn`t feel like a regal lion when he attains a high vantage point because his clueless owner picks him up, restrains him and calls him a cute pussy.

Any feline worth his salt will squirm, scratch, and make noises that don`t resemble purring when his owner picks him up. Don`t disrespect your cat by carrying him, allow him to jump on your lap if he so desires.

A cat isn`t a stuffed animal, he`s a little person, and if you respect his independent spirit he will reward you with a lifetime of companionship and affection.

Notice the way cats interact with each other, they approach each other gingerly: Licking, rubbing and sniffing each other. I`m not suggesting that you lick, rub or sniff you kitty, I`m merely pointing out that being picked up is an affront to a feline`s tender sensibilities.

This essay is for persons who have recently adopted a cat, longtime cat owners know very well that their pets don`t like to be picked up.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Obama’s Most Popular Tweet

Thank you for everything. My last ask is the same as my first. I`m asking you to believe-not in my ability to create change, but in yours.

Presidential tweet from Obama

Twitter is the perfect social media platform for Donald Trump, its 140 character limit per tweet is well-suited for his crude but pithy comments.

Only an anal-retentive prick gets his panties in a twist over any mistakes in spelling, grammar or syntax in a tweet, a perfect medium for a grammar-challenged vulgarian.

Trump has brilliantly used Twitter to bypass the left-leaning mainstream media and convey his thoughts directly to his followers. Trump doesn`t have the intellectual resources to write a memoir of his presidency, but I expect he will publish a collection of his White House tweets.

Obama is no slouch at using social media to further his political objectives. Obama`s tweet echoing a line from his farewell address is the most retweeted tweet for the @POTUS Twitter account, which will soon be inherited by Trump.

My last ask? Really? Trump`s tweets may be vulgar and grammatically confusing, but he would never try to wax poetic by writing “my last ask.”

The American people believe in change, and they have voted for change by denying Obama a third term in kicking Hillary to the curb.

My last ask is for Obama to reconsider his plan to stay in Washington until his daughter graduates from high school, and return to the land of his birth.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Bill and Hillary Clinton Will Attend Donald Trump’s Inauguration

“Bill and Hillary Clinton have decided to attend the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States, according to two sources with knowledge of their plans. The Clintons will join former Presidents George W. Bush and Jimmy Carter, who have also announced that they will attend.”

NYMag.Com

I commend the Clintons for their decision to attend Trump`s inauguration out of a sense of respect for the American tradition of peaceful transfer of power.

As a nod that under Trump things will be different, if not necessarily better, Clinton should wear a frilly dress instead of one of her trademark power pantsuits.

It will be an outrage and an affront to decency if the Clintons attend Trump`s inauguration as a couple, Hillary was humiliated by Trump and she will never run for political office again. There is no need for the Clintons to maintain the charade that they are a conventional married couple. Hillary should watch the inauguration while holding hands with Huma Abdein, and Bill should have a bimbo perched on his lap.

Watching her bitter rival being sworn in from up close will be a bitter pill for Hillary to swallow, but it couldn`t happen to a nicer person.

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Read More:

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/01/bill-and-hillary-clinton-will-attend-the-trump-inauguration.html

Sen. Bernie Sanders Praises Donald Trump

“Sen. Bernie Sanders once called Donald Trump a `pathological liar,` but at a forum at George Washington University in Washington, DC, the self-described socialist praised the president-elect`s extraordinary accomplishment in winning the White House.

`Trump took on the Republican establishment, he took on the Democratic establishment, took on the media establishment and he ended up winning the election to become president of the United States. And that is an extraordinary accomplishment. And it talks about perseverance, it talks about very strong political instincts, it talks about a way to connect with people,` Sanders said.

`So I give Donald Trump his due,` he said.”

The New York Post

I echo Sen. Sanders` sentiments, Trump deserves our grudging admiration for taking on the Democratic establishment and the Republican establishment, and destroying the Clinton and Bush dynasties in the process.

In prevailing over the establishment of both major parties, and exposing the mainstream media as stooges of the Democratic party, Trump advanced the cause of liberty, freedom and democracy.

Trump`s populist appeal transcended party labels, and we can only hope and pray that he won`t forget the dreams and aspirations of ordinary working people now that he`s President of the United States. We must hold Trump`s tiny hands to the fire to ensure that he fulfills the promises he made to the working class.

Trump is an ignorant clown, and if he doesn`t blow up the world, I will at least give him credit for blowing up the establishment — for that I will be eternally grateful.

Even though Trump and Sanders are on opposite ends of the political spectrum they have a lot in common, they are both populist leaders who fought the establishment. I supported Sanders in the Democratic primaries, and he would have won the Democratic nomination if he fought the Democratic establishment with as much vigor as Trump fought the Republican establishment.

When it became crystal clear that the DNC was 100% behind Hillary Clinton, Sanders failed to denounce the corrupt organization in no uncertain terms. It also boggles the mind why Sanders gave Hillary a pass on her email scandal.

Trump is president in large part because Sanders failed to live up to his reputation as a revolutionary. Some revolutionary, in the end he enthusiastically supported the corrupt Hillary.

I`m not surprised to see Sanders give props to a fellow revolutionary for winning the election by blowing up the system.

Read More:

http://nypost.com/2017/01/10/bernie-sanders-heaps-praise-on-donald-trump/

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Is Hillary Clinton Going to Run for Mayor of New York City?

Last week, reports (in reality more like rumors) began circulating in the media that Hillary Clinton was considering a run for mayor of New York City.

I tend to dismiss these rumors, the office of mayor of the Big Apple wouldn`t be a consolation prize commensurate with Hillary`s huge ego. After coming so close to breaking the ultimate glass ceiling, running a municipality would be quite a letdown.

Septuagenarians like Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Joe Biden don`t have the energy, vigor, and youthful ideas that the Democratic party is in desperate need off, they should focus their energies on their grandchildren, and achieving regular bowel movements.

After two grueling presidential campaigns that ended in abject frustration and humiliation, first in losing to a relatively unknown community organizer with a Muslim name, and then a know-nothing reality TV clown, Hillary wouldn`t risk losing to Bill de Blasio as he seeks reelection.

The days of running for political office are mercifully over for Hillary, the only running she`s doing these days is running to the bathroom before she soils her adult diapers.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes Speech Exemplifies Why Donald Trump Won

By now everyone has heard about, if not seen live on NBC or on YouTube, Meryl Streep`s speech at the Golden Globes where she railed against Donald Trump, and specifically criticized him for allegedly mocking a disabled reporter.

Streep who is as renowned for her leftist politics as she is for her acting acumen was bathed with praise and adoration by the audience at the Golden Globes event. It`s not surprising that the Hollywood crowd, which was probably 99.99% liberal, experienced a collective orgasm during her speech, but now everybody from all ends of the political spectrum is weighing in.

Donald Trump of course reacted almost immediately on Twitter describing Streep as “one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood,” and “a Hillary flunky.” He also denied for the hundredth time that he mocked New York Times reporter Serge F. Kovaleski`s disability.

Streep is one of the most acclaimed actresses in Hollywood, she` been nominated for 19 Academy Awards, won three Oscars, and a truckload of other awards. But it`s also true that she`s the most overrated actress in Hollywood, if she defecated on film, critics would praise her form and technique, and give her a special Academy Award for the best bowel movement in the history of cinema.

Streep is a Hillary Flunky, she heaped praise on Hillary at the Democratic convention, and she most likely delivered an Oscar-worthy crying performance when Hillary lost.

Streep is the reason why a know-nothing clown won the presidency — regular Americans are sick and tired of elitist privileged celebs who live in an insular world looking down on us for not embracing their liberal Gospel.

I will join Meryl Streep, Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren and Rosie O`Donnell in a circle jerk, before I take Streep`s blathering seriously.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

We Got the President We Deserve: A Reality TV Show Clown! Hail Trump!

“The best preview of the Donald Trump presidency was the orange billionaire rolling around on the ground with Vince McMahon, owner and operator of World Wrestling Entertainment, while thousands of frenzied fans screamed in approval. An underrated development in American life is that the Trump administration will become the first to feature not one, but two members of the WWE Hall of Fame – Linda McMahon, Vince`s wife, as director of the Small Business Administration, and the president himself. Trump`s brief foray in pro wrestling ended with `Stone Cold` Steve Austin performing his finishing maneuver, the `Stone Cold Stunner,` on Trump, rendering him incapacitated in the middle of the ring. If only the political process were so just.

Salon

During the Republican primaries and the general election Donald Trump`s advisors repeatedly promised a pivot, a pivot from Trump the clownish vulgarian into a semblance of a statesman.

But here we are two weeks from Trump`s inauguration and he`s still tweeting incoherent, grammatically-challenged provocative messages that roil the stock market, infuriate foreign leaders and disparage his political opponents.

Most of us thrive and accomplish our best work when we are tranquil and serene; I can`t write an essay unless I turn off the TV and mute all other distractions.

Trump thrives on controversy and chaos, and he`s not going to stop engaging in Tweeter wars with celebs or insulting political enemies by christening them with monikers like “Crooked Hillary” or “Schumer the Clown.” Trump accomplishes his best (which is the worst for ordinary Americans) when he`s embroiled in controversy.

A reality TV show electorate elected a reality TV show politician, and Trump will keep us entertained while America goes to hell in a handbasket.

Trump rolling around on the ground with fellow billionaire Vince McMahon is indeed the best preview of the Trump administration. Trump and McMahon benefited to the tune of millions from the WWE pay-per-view event, while suckers paid handsomely for the privilege of watching the spectacle.

Trump and Democrats the likes of Schumer and Warren will exchange barbs and insults, but the end result will be that the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.

Read More:

http://www.salon.com/2017/01/08/donald-trump-and-the-hobbling-of-shame-david-foster-wallace-warned-us-about-reality-tv-and-we-didnt-listen/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Captures Hillary Clinton’s Despair

This photograph which was tweeted by New York Times senior editor for politics Carolyn Ryan is worth a thousand words.

The photo captures Hillary dining alone at an upscale upstate New York restaurant.

Hillary`s face is out of focus, but her loneliness and alienation is perfectly captured by the photographer. Her secret service detail must be keeping watch from another table — even her longtime aide/lover Huma Abedin isn`t hovering over her shoulder or sitting by her side brushing her pantsuit with a lint roller.

Perhaps Abedin has latched onto another female politician, one with a future, say Senator Elizabeth Warren.

The image depicts Hillary gazing into her cell phone, considering her emails derailed her presidential ambitions, you`d think she`d forsake modern technology.

When the New York Times publishes Hillary`s obituary they should include this photograph, it perfectly captures the forlorn and defeated presidential candidate.

In the end we all die alone; this photograph captures Hillary`s political death, without aides, bodyguards, husband or lesbian lover by her side.

Link to photograph:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/12/28/lets-all-over-analyze-this-photo-of-hillary-clinton-alone-looking-forlorn/?utm_term=.66595888a0af

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

New Restaurant Opens in Iraq: Trump Fish

“A Donald Trump-themed restaurant-one that`s not owned by the president-elect himself-just opened in the heart of Iraqi Kurdistan. Called Trump Fish, its specialty is carp, which comes grilled or fried.

Local businessman Nadyar Zawiti picked the name after hearing Trump`s promises to arm Kurdish forces to help defeat ISIS, he told CNN.”

Slate

The Trump-themed restaurant is a homage, not a mockery, Kurds love the blowhard billionaire almost as much as the Russians, because of his promises to arm Kurdish forces.

I have better choices for the specialty of the house:

Orange Roughy

This would be perfect, an orange fish that belongs to the slimeball family. What is Trump if not an orange slimeball?

Puffer Fish

This toxic fish defends itself by filling its elastic stomach with water (or air when outside water) until it`s much larger and imposing. Another perfect choice — Trump is toxic and full of hot air.

Jellyfish

A marine creature that doesn`t have a brain or a sexual organ? Perfect description of micro-penis Trump.

Seafood doesn`t have a long shelf life, customers of Trump fish would be well-advised not to bring any doggie bags home. Trump doesn`t have a long shelf life either, he`s not president yet, and I`m already sick and tired of his buffoonery.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Clown Donald Trump Attacks Clown Chuck Schumer

“President-elect Donald Trump dismissed his rivals as clowns – but he still hasn`t figured out proper grammar.

In yet another series of typo-filled tweets Thursday, Trump blasted the Affordable Care Act and the Democrats` promise to salvage the healthcare plan, which the Republican businessman has vowed to repeal. He also bullied soon-to-be Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer with name-calling taunts.

`The Democrats, lead by head clown Chuck Schumer, know how bad ObamaCare is and what a mess they are in,` he tweeted early Thursday, likely meaning to write `led` instead of `lead.`”

New York Daily News

This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. (For my politically-correct readers, let me stress that I don`t mean to imply that there`s anything wrong with being black.)

Senator Schumer and President-elect Trump are known more for their vanity about their physical appearance, than they are for their policy positions.

Schumer`s hairline is hair-plugged to perfection, and his countenance is relatively wrinkle-free thanks to Botox, and Donald Trump`s uses two cans of hair spray to keep his comb over in place, and his face is orange thanks to spray-on tan.

Trump and Schumer are addicted to the spotlight, they start experiencing withdrawal symptoms when they are away from the cameras for more than a few minutes.

Only a clown would repeal Obamacare without replacing it, and only a clown would defend Obama`s disastrous health care plan.

Schumer may not be as grammar-challenged as Trump, but a clown is a clown is a clown.

Read More:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/donald-trump-calls-chuck-schumer-clown-typo-filled-tweets-article-1.2935724

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Cruel New Year’s Eve Prank

“A man in Germany has started the new year with quite a shock – after finding himself bricked in to his own home.

The home owner in Mainhausen, Hesse, opened his front door on Monday to find someone had quietly built a brick wall in front of it during the night, police confirmed.”

ITV NEWS

My thoughts:

New Year`s Eve is the perfect time to play a prank like this, the average person would be too drunk to wake up if his house was being demolished.

It must have taken a team of wankers to pull off this prank, the victim must be very disturbed to discover that there`s several individuals who think so little of him.

Would this cruel prank be covered by a homeowner`s policy as an act of vandalism?

The second order of business for this hapless fellow, after dismantling the brick wall, should be to install surveillance cameras.

Dear readers, I hope you`re having a better New Year than this German fellow.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Mariah Carey New Year’s Eve Debacle! Top Ten Conspiracy Theories

Mariah Carey blamed a conspiracy by Dick Clark Productions for her disastrous New Year`s Eve performance, others have blamed Ryan Seacrest.

Who is really to blame? A congressional committee should investigate this matter, but until they arrive at a definitive conclusion, here`s my top ten conspiracy theories:

Ronda Rousey Theory

Ronda Rousey sabotaged Mariah`s earpiece in a desperate attempt to deflect attention away from her crushing loss to Amanda Nunes.

Grassy Knoll Theory

Sarah Palin gave Mariah the evil eye from a grassy knoll in Alaska, the eagle-eyed former beauty queen blames the diva for America`s moral decline.

Hacker Theory

A 400-pound hacker who`s into death metal went ballistic when Mariah started to croon “Emotions” and hacked the ABC feed from his bedroom in his parents` basement.

North Korea Theory

The North Koreans are expert hackers as they have already proved by hacking Sony Studios. Kim Jong-un ordered his military to hack the ABC broadcast, it was either that or target Times Square with a nuclear-tipped missile.

Russia Theory

There is as much evidence pointing to Russian involvement in the Mariah debacle, as there is evidence proving that they hacked the DNC. So why the hell not blame Putin?

Donald Trump Theory

Trump is responsible for this dastardly deed, he will never forgive Mariah for laughing at him when he failed to grab her pussy with his little hand.

Mariah Carey Theory

Mariah`s earpiece malfunction was an elaborate plot by the diva to generate publicity for her upcoming reality show.

Joe Biden Theory

An act of petulance by the outgoing vice-president, he was frustrated that he had no major accomplishments after eight years serving as Obama`s sidekick.

Fake News Theory

That wasn`t Mariah, it was a drag queen celebrity impersonator! It was fake news manufactured by the network to spike ratings.

Shit Happens Theory

Shit happens! Period! End of story!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump: ‘No Computer is Safe’

In remarks to reporters at his New Year`s Eve party in Florida, Donald Trump stated:

“You know, if you have something really important, write it out and have it delivered by courier, the old-fashioned way. Because I`ll tell you what: No computer is safe.”

This coming from a man who is an inveterate Twitterer (is that a word?); doesn`t he know that a 400-pound kid with a modicum of computer expertise can hack a Twitter account?

Trump rarely communicates via email, and that`s a good thing, but it`s easier to hack a social media account than it is to hack an email account.

Instead of railing against computers (you can`t turn back the hands of time), Trump should have declared on his New Year`s Eve party that his No. #1 resolution was to stop tweeting.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Mariah Carey Ronda Rousey Death Match!

After Ronda Rousey was upset by Holly Holm in the second round at UFC 193 in November 2015, she confided in Ellen DeGeneres and millions of her viewers that she contemplated suicide.

It took a year for Rousey to regain her composure and confidence to once again enter the octagon, and square off against another foe.

On Friday 30, 2016 Ronda Rousey faced off against Amanda Nunes for the women`s bantamweight title, and it took only 48 seconds for Nunes to reduce Rousey to a bloody pulp.

On December 31, 2016 Mariah Carey suffered the most humiliating incident in her life, and I wouldn`t be surprised if she was contemplating suicide.

Read my articles chronicling Mariah`s epic fail:

http://thesop.org/story/20170101/mariah-careys-horrible-new-years-eve-performance-video.html

http://thesop.org/story/20170102/mariah-careys-epic-new-year-eves-fail-the-aftermath.html

Although few would shed a tear if Mariah Carey or especially if Ronda Rousey killed themselves, I hope and pray that they don`t, or at least not until they engage in epic pay-per-view death match.

Imagine if you will Mariah and Ronda in a vat filled with applesauce, the match doesn`t end until the loser drowns in the applesauce.

Ronda is a beast and under normal circumstances she would kill Mariah in a New York minute, to handicap the match Mr. T would deliver a roundhouse punch to Ronda`s face and give her only a couple of minutes to recover.

America loves a redemption story, and only surviving such a grueling match would return the winner to our good graces.

My money would be on Mariah, her huge butt has major-league buoyancy and it would be difficult, if not impossible, to drown her.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAXf_GjWIvk