Author: robertpaulreyes

Old Man, 70, Mounts 11 Phones to Bicycle to Play ‘Pokemon Go’

“A 70-year-old Taiwan man has become a local celebrity after being spotted around the city playing Pokemon Go on 11 smartphones mounted to his bike.
Chen San-yuan who said he sometimes stays out until 4 a.m. hunting for Pokemon, said he became hooked on Pokemon Go after his grandson showed him how to play in 2016.”

UPI

Most senior citizens have a basic flip style cell phone with big, easy-to-read, raised buttons with large print, and a limited number of apps.

But Chen San-yuan aka “Uncle Pokemon” has 11 smartphones mounted to his bicycle to enable him to capture, battle and train virtual creatures. I`m not sure that`s a good idea, he may ride his bike over a cliff in search of Pokemon. Why can`t he be like most septuagenarians and prowl the attic in search of German soldiers?

The old codger became hooked on Pokemon Go when his grandson showed him how to play, and he spends $1,300 on his hobby. I suspect the grandson`s parents want to choke the stupid kid, gramps is burning their inheritance.

At least Uncle Pokemon isn`t driving while playing the damn game, an elderly Asian driver in search of virtual creatures — that wouldn`t end well.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Woman Tells Cops She Shouldn’t be Arrested Because She’s a Clean White Girl

“A 32-year-old Bluffton woman tried to talk police out of arresting her Saturday by telling them she was a very clean, thoroughbred, white girl, a sorority sister and a cheerleader who is dating a cop.

Officers said they saw Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw speed through a stop sign in a four-way stop intersection at about 1:45 a.m.

A Bluffton police report said when officers pulled Cutshaw over, she was slurring her words and she failed a Breathalyzer test.”

WYFF News

Blondie is the poster girl for white privilege, she expected to be let off with a warning even though she failed a Breathalyzer test, sped through a stop sign, and was in possession of marijuana. She expected her freshly scrubbed white face to be her “get out of jail free card.”

Becky`s argument isn`t as silly as it sounds, she was not so subtly reminding a white police officer that they usually spend their time stopping black motorists for trivial reasons and then blowing them away to Kingdom Come when they reach for their wallet.

Barbie`s “innocent white girl act” didn`t work, she was arrested and incarcerated. I hope they threw her in the drunk tank, where she would no doubt become intimately acquainted with inmates of color who have no tolerance for her white privilege.

Read More:

https://www.wyff4.com/article/sc-woman-tells-officer-being-clean-white-sorority-girl-should-prevent-dui-arrest-police-say/22675497

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Top Ten Ways to Celebrate International Cat Day

Flood the inbox of all of your friends and acquaintances with cat pics.

Respond only with a “meow” or a “purr” all freaking day long.

Act finicky, for example when the cashier at McDonald`s ask you “Do you want fries with that?” answer “Yes, but make sure they are lightly salted, uniform in size, and not too hot.”

Knead your coworker`s belly, and when they stare at you in amazement, say “You`re Welcome” and walk away.

Take a crap in your neighbor`s flower bed.

Take a nap on your coworker`s keyboard.

Wake up your partner by biting her toe.

Walk on your girlfriend when she`s napping on the sofa, and when she screams, “What the hell is wrong with you? reply “I`m hungry bitch, feed me.”

Yell in a crowded restaurant, “Someone Heimlich maneuver my punk ass, I have a hairball stuck in my throat.”

Take a Garfield stuffed animal to work and set up a shrine to Lord Cat in your cubicle.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Do You Talk to Your Cat in ‘Cat’ or ‘Human’?

“How often do you meow or purr at your cat? Are you more likely to talk to your cat in `cat` or in `human`? Occasionally I find myself purring back at my cat Lovie, if she has wandered up to say hi to me while I`m working and is busy purring in my direction. Sometimes I`ll give her a little meow, too. Until I read a new study on cat-human interactions, it hadn`t occurred to me to notice that although I `talk` to Lovie using cat sounds, I never talk to my dog Bella using dog vocalizations-I don`t ever bark or growl at Bella. I talk to Bella all the time, but in human language.”

Psychology Today/ Jessica Pierce Ph.D.

I take a lot of heat from my coworkers for being an unabashed cat lover, they look at me askance when I have the temerity to post photos of my kitties Tico and Ebony on my computer desktop.

Even though they know I also own a Pit Bull/German Shepherd mix, they don`t exactly regard me as a paragon of masculinity.

I kiss, cuddle and pet my feline companions, but if I ever greet them with a purr or a meow, I will turn in my man card. That`s where I draw the line!

My cats have little respect for me as it is, they walk on my keyboard when I`m writing my essays, and they plop on my face when I`m taking a nap. If I talked to them in cat language, they would lose all respect for me, and I just might find a hairball on my pillow every night.

Women, on the other hand, have a penchant for talking to cats in cat language and nobody bats an eye. It looks cute and sexy when a female purrs at a kitten, but if a guy does it he looks like a total pussy … cat.

Vive la difference! Ladies keep talking cat to your pets, and I will continue to talk to my pooch and my two cats in human.

Read More:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-dogs-go-heaven/201808/how-do-you-talk-your-cat

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Joe Arpaio Tells Sacha Baron Cohen He Would Accept Oral Sex From Donald Trump

“Plenty of people have accused Joe Arpaio, the Donald Trump-pardoned former Arizona sheriff, of not knowing what he`s talking about. Arpaio handed them even more ammo than necessary when he got duped by Sacha Baron Cohen into an impossibly bizarre conversation in which Arpaio spoke sternly to a tiny toy donut about the need for guns, conceded that President Trump has most likely had a “golden shower,” and admitted that he would accept an offer of “a blow job” from Trump.”

Deadline

Sacha Baron Cohen has the easiest gig on television, making fools out of Republican conservatives the likes of Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and Judge Roy Moore.

Forgive me for the explicit language, but it seems that whenever I write about a Trump-loving conservative I am forced to wallow in filth.

Arpaio, you might remember is the blatant racist best known for illegally detaining Latinos and for housing inmates in concentration camp like tent cities.

President Trump issued his first ever presidential pardon to Arpaio in August 2017, and you`d think he would defend the moral virtue of the president. But instead he conceded that Trump probably enjoyed a golden shower.

Trump`s base, made of white evangelicals and other assorted riff-raff, knows that their Messiah is a racist and a moral degenerate, but they don`t give a fuc*.

I wouldn`t be surprised if every night Trump`s God-fearing Cabinet pisses into his golden tub, and then hold hands and pray as Mike Pence baptizes him.

Baron Cohen asked the sheriff: “If Donald Trump calls you up after this and says, `Sheriff Joe, I want to offer you an amazing blow job,` would you say yes?” “I may have to say yes,” Arpaio replied. There`s a long line of Trump sycophants and enablers waiting in line to pleasure Trump`s puny presidential pecker, and I`m sure Mike Pence enjoys the privilege of cutting in line, whenever the Spirit moves him.

To top things off Arpaio lectured a tiny plastic donut about gun rights. White evangelicals and white conservatives are such freaking wankers, we may need a revolution to rid our democracy of these moral degenerates.

Read More:

https://deadline.com/2018/08/duped-ex-sheriff-joe-arpaio-tells-sacha-baron-cohen-he-would-accept-oral-sex-from-donald-trump-1202440654/

First Lady Melania Trump Praises LeBron James

“First lady Melania Trump praised LeBron James less than a day after President Donald Trump lashed out at the NBA star on Twitter.

She also said she is open to visiting the school for underprivileged children James recently opened in his hometown of Akron, Ohio, which he said in an interview that aired last week prioritizes a holistic experience for students.”

Business Insider

This is a follow-up to my essay: Donald Trump Attacks LeBron James on Twitter!

http://thesop.org/story/20180804/donald-trump-attacks-lebron-james-on-twitter.html

Trump`s racist tweet was universally condemned, even the First Lady defended the character and integrity of the superstar athlete.

The tweet was blatantly racist, Trump invariably attacks the intelligence of prominent African Americans who disagree with his policies, he`s questioned the intelligence of Maxine Waters, Don Lemon and LiAngelo Ball.

First Lady spokeswoman Stephanie Grisham issued this statement:

“It looks like LeBron James is working to do good things on behalf of our next generation and just as she always has, the First Lady encourages everyone to have an open dialogue about issues facing children today.”

The statement also mentioned “responsible online behavior” and said that Melania would be open to visiting the school.

I don`t expect Melania to vociferously protest her husband`s online bullying behavior, but at least she subtly rebuked him by citing “responsible online behavior” in the same statement in which she defended James.

I hope she does visit the school for underprivileged children James opened in Akron, wouldn`t that be a slap on the face to Trump?

More Republicans need to “Be Best” and follow Melania`s example and rebuke Trump when he waxes racist on Twitter.

Read More:

https://www.businessinsider.com/melania-trump-lebron-james-school-trump-insults-twitter-2018-8

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Attacks LeBron James on Twitter!

“Tweeters erupted in anger after President Donald Trump trashed NBA superstar LeBron James on Friday night:

`LeBron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made LeBron look smart, which isn`t easy to do. I like Mike!`

Trump used Twitter to bash both James and CNN host Don Lemon, after finally watching an interview between the pair that aired on Monday.

During the interview, James (who in July signed for the Los Angeles Lakers) accused Trump of enabling racists and using sports to divide the country.”

Huffington Post

I was born in San Francisco, and in my 20`s I moved to Oakland. As a native San Franciscan I followed the San Francisco Giants closely, the fortunes of my Giants took a back seat only to my career and personal relationships.

When I moved to Oakland I found a good job in that blue collar city, and my loyalties were divided, I still bled orange and black, but I developed a fondness for the Oakland A`s.

I attended my games at the Oakland Coliseum, and I always wondered how many of my bleacher buddies had divided loyalties like me. San Francisco and Oakland are connected by the Oakland Bay Bridge, and there are some baseball fans in the Bay Area who root for both teams.

But I never wondered how many fans in the stadium were liberals like me, and how many were conservatives. For those three hours that we were at the ballpark, we weren`t liberals or conservatives, black or white, rich or poor, Christians or atheists, we were damn Oakland A`s fans.

Sports unifies a community like nothing else, when the Giants or the A`s wins the World Series you will see hundreds of thousands of citizens of every ethnicity, religion and social class celebrate together is the streets.

With his wizardry on the basketball court, King James unites the thousands fortunate enough to watch him play in person, and the millions who watch him on television.

Millions of kids who watch LeBron are colorblind to his ethnicity, it`s his mad skills that captivates them, and makes them want to be just like him.

LeBron is spot on, Trump enables racists and uses sports to divide the country. Instead of celebrating the athleticism of NFL players and the community work that many of them do, Trump demonizes the mostly black players who take a knee during the National Anthem as a protest against police brutality and racial profiling.

That`s why millions of Americans want their children to grow up to be like LeBron a gifted athlete who is involved in many philanthropic enterprises, including building a school for at risk children in Akron.

And only the most deluded Trump supporters want their children to grow up to be like the orange racist moron.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Doesn’t Know England From the UK From a Hole in the Ground

“Trump appeared not to know the difference among the United Kingdom, Great Britain and England during a rally in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, on Thursday night.

`I have great respect for the U.K., United Kingdom, great respect,` said Trump. `People call it Britain. They call it Great Britain. They used to call it England, different parts.`

Folks online were keen to point out that Great Britain consists of England, Scotland and Wales – and the United Kingdom is made up of those three countries, plus Northern Ireland. They also noted how the country of England is most definitely still called England, despite Trump`s claim.

Huffington Post

When Trump delivers a stump speech at a rally it`s a stream of consciousness flood of lies, insults and nonsense; it`s difficult to discern if the words are emanating from his sphincter-like mouth or his actual a-hole.

It`s safe to assume there`s no atlas in his mind, and he confuses England from the United Kingdom from a hole in the ground. It`s a sorry state of affairs when the putative Leader of the Free World doesn`t know jack about geography.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but everybody who isn`t a wanker calls our ally “England.”

I wouldn`t be surprised if Prime Minister Theresa May, whom some idiots call “President,” sends an email to Trump requesting that he never set foot on English soil again.

Every time Trump opens his trap he proves that he`s no stable genius, but a man of dubious intelligence, otherwise know as a fuc*ing moron.

Link to video:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-great-britain-reaction_us_5b6404ece4b0b15abaa1b991

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Donald Trump Says Americans Need a Photo ID to Go Grocery Shopping! Wanker!

“US President Donald Trump has been accused of being out of touch with voters after saying Americans need identification to go shopping.

At a rally in Tampa, Florida, he said: `You know, if you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card, you need ID.`”

BBC

In 1992, when President George H.W. Bush was amazed by a grocery store barcode scanner the story went viral in the pre-internet age because it fit the stereotype of Bush as a rich old patrician out of touch with the lives of the common man.

It`s incomprehensible why Trump enjoys the fervent support of blue collar Americans, even though he doesn`t know anything about their daily lives, and could give a shit.

Trump`s executive orders and the bills passed by the Republican-controlled Congress have benefited corporations and wealthy individuals, and have damaged the interests of the working class.

But you wouldn`t know it by the enthusiastic response that Trump receives whenever he has a campaign-style rally. The morons even cheered him when he made his ridiculous statement that you couldn`t buy groceries without a photo ID.

Bush`s reputation as an out of touch politician was cemented by the barcode scanner fiasco, and he lost his re-election bid to Bill Clinton. Trump on the other hand may be full of shit, but he`s coated with Teflon, and he can get away with saying whatever nonsense pops into his head.

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Cat Yoga is a Thing! Really!

Cat yoga is a thing! Why you may ask? Perhaps you will achieve some clarity once I explain that is an almost 100% female trend. Is it strange that cat ladies would have odd hobbies?

I don`t care if cat ladies practice cat yoga or cat synchronized swimming, as long as I`m not forced to watch.

I`m not a yoga kind of guy, I`d rather attain peace with my inner child by watching football.

But I am a cat person, and cuddling with my cat while he purrs will make me achieve bliss a hell of a lot faster than practicing yoga with him.

But to each his own, and I will certainly agree that yoga, or anything else, is better with a kitty.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Evil Mail Carrier Pepper Sprays Playful Pooch!

“One Mid-South neighborhood is calling out the U.S. Postal Service for what it calls “inappropriate behavior.” Home surveillance video shows a delivery driver spraying a dog with pepper spray from inside a vehicle.”

LocalMempis.Com

A plumber knows that in the course of performing his job sometimes he`ll find himself in some shi**y situations, and a mail carrier should realize that canines are a hazard of the occupation he or she chose.

This mail carrier was so terrified of a harmless pooch approaching her vehicle that she wouldn`t get out to deliver the mail, but instead reached out from inside her vehicle and pepper sprayed the hapless mutt.

This carrier should be fired for going postal on a harmless pooch who was just curious about the woman who parked on his driveway.

Granted the homeowner shouldn`t let his dog run free on his front yard, but if she was afraid to deliver the mail she should have driven away without attacking the poor dog.

Pepper spraying the dog was gratuitous, cowardly and patently evil, she didn`t deliver mail to the house — what was the point of spraying the animal who wasn`t even barking?

Needless to say the homeowner was doggone mad when she saw the home surveillance video documenting the cruelty of the mail carrier.

I hope the mail carrier is suspended, and required to take an anger management course.

Link to frightful video:

https://www.localmemphis.com/news/local-news/caught-on-camera-usps-driver-sprays-dog-with-pepper-spray-before-driving-off/1335561798

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Trump Will Be Brought Down by Financial Crimes, Not by a Pee Tape

According to a Quinnipiac University poll published last week, the majority of American voters now believe the President of Russia has compromising information on the President of the United States. In other words, they believe Trump is being blackmailed.

This is a post-Helsinki Summit poll after Americans and the entire world witnessed Trump acting like a lapdog, poodle, and treasonous dog in the presence of alpha dog Putin.

Many are wondering if maybe the most salacious allegation in the Steele dossier is true, namely that in 2013 then citizen Trump hired Russian prostitutes to perform a golden showers show in front of him, aimed at defiling the bed of the Ritz-Carlton presidential suite, where Michelle and Barack Obama once slept.

I wouldn`t be surprised if Trump was into golden showers, after all something must account for his urine-colored coiffure. You don`t have to be a psychologist to know that the rich and powerful have a penchant for enjoying sadomasochistic hijinks.

A Trump pee tape may or may not exist, but I don`t think it would be enough to blackmail a freak like him. Everybody, including his base, knows that Trump is a sexual deviant, and the release of such a tape would have no effect on his approval ratings.

If the tape was released online evangelical Christians would proclaim that the Russian hookers were angels in disguise and that holy water was emanating from their holy orifices.

It ain`t about the sex, it`s about the money! Special Counsel Robert Mueller is investigating collusion and obstruction, but I bet most of all he`s following the money.

Putin knows everything that happens in his dictatorship, and I bet he`s using Trump`s shady deals in Russia to blackmail him.

“In 2008, Donald Jr. told investors in Moscow that Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets, while Eric reportedly told a golf reporter in 2014 that the Trump Organization was able to expand during the financial crisis because `We don`t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia.`”

https://themoscowproject.org/collusion/eric-trump-funding-need-russia/

It`s not a deluge of urine that will bring down Trump, it`s the swamp of financial corruption that will be exposed by the Mueller investigation that will destroy the bastard.

Melania Trump Looked Horrified After Shaking Hands With Putin

“Donald Trump`s meeting with Russian president Vladimir Putin on Monday was disaster-like for many reasons, but one totally overlooked part of it was the precise moment in which Melania Trump shook Putin`s hand and ended up with a look of pure terror on her face. Seriously, it was caught on camera for the entire world to see.”

Cosmopolitan

Like a typical First Lady Melania Trump has a talent for putting on a smiling face when greeting foreign dignitaries and attending public events with her husband.

But sometimes the mask slips and for a brief moment we glimpse her true emotion, whether it be boredom, anger or sheer terror.

On January 20, 2017, as Donald Trump became the 45th president of the United States, Melania looked ashen, but when he turned around to look at her, her face broke out into a beaming smile, and then instantly turned ice cold again when he turned back around.

Melania is unable to look adoringly at her husband, Mike Pence style, for a sustained period of time, her true feelings of disgust will inevitably explode to the surface.

When Melania Trump shook Russian President Vladimir Putin`s hand in Helsinki, a look of abject terror was frozen on her face. Keep in mind that poor Melania is forced to occasionally hold the grotesquely small hand of her husband, in other words she`s used to holding the hand of a monster.

Melania knows that her husband is an evil and stupid buffoon, but she instantly recognized that there`s no buffoonery or stupidity in Putin, only pure evil, and that scared the hell out of her.

If only Trump realized that Putin isn`t his buddy or a friendly competitor, but a ruthless dictator who`s making him his bitch.

Link to video and photos of Melania`s sheer terror upon meeting Putin:

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a22352682/melania-trump-vladimir-putin-face/

Kevin Durant Says That ‘Donald Trump Doesn’t Have a Soul’! Amen!

“Kevin Durants distaste for President Donald Trump is well documented, and on Wednesday, the Warriors star stated that the president doesn`t have a soul.

During an appearance on Trail Blazers guard CJ McCollum`s podcast `Pull Up,` Durant called President Trump “heartless.”

`He doesn`t have a soul, bro,` Durant said. `I don`t even know, he don`t have a soul. He doesn`t have a soul. The stuff he says and does, bro. Like, you gotta have something deep down … Something`s missing for you to say that type of stuff.`”

SFGate.Com

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin is a question that philosophers and theologians have pondered, so I don`t think it`s a fruitless intellectual endeavor to consider whether or not Donald Trump has a soul.

You don`t have to be a theologian, philosopher or an intellectual giant (judging by Durant`s grade school grammar) to weigh in on this subject.

Durant`s bold proclamation doesn`t merit a CNN “Breaking News” alert, practically every Christian, Muslim, Jew and atheist will concur that Trump`s speech, behavior and political directives proves he is devoid of a soul.

White evangelicals are the only ones who would argue that not only does Trump have a soul, but that he`s a spiritual brother of Jesus Christ.

Satan has a special room in hell reserved for white evangelicals, but alas that room is destined to remain forever empty because like their false Messiah they don`t possess a soul.

When I hear Trump say that Mexican immigrants are rapists, I say to myself: He doesn`t have a soul! When he decimates Obamacare, a lifeline to the poor and disenfranchised, I say to myself: He doesn`t have a soul! When he brags about grabbing women by their genitals, I say to myself, He doesn`t have a soul! When he viciously attacks his opponents on Twitter, I say to myself: He doesn`t have a soul! Practically every day I say to myself: He doesn`t have a soul!

Kevin Durant is spot on, Trump doesn`t have a soul!

Read More:

https://www.sfgate.com/warriors/article/Kevin-Durant-Donald-Trump-Warriors-heartless-soul-13105414.php

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Jimmy Fallon Raps Donald Trump’s Tweets

Jimmy gets help from Tarik Trotter and The Roots to transform Donald Trump`s Twitter rants from the week into a recap rap.
YouTube video description.

On September 15, 2016, a day that will live in infamy, Jimmy Fallon playfully messed up Donald Trump`s hair. Those few seconds of whimsy almost destroyed the late-night comic`s career, he was lambasted by his fellow entertainers and most civilized people in the world for attempting to humanize a monster.

If he could live that day again I`m sure Fallon would set Trump`s urine-colored hair on fire, instead of tousling the frightful wig.

But Jimmy learned his lesson, and he`s joined his late-night colleagues in pillorying the abominable monster. In this video Jimmy and the Roots turn Trump`s tweets into a rap song.
You may think Sinatra would be the be best music to use for the tweets of a septuagenarian like Trump, but Sinatra was a master of phrasing, and it would be impossible to set his incoherent rants to the music of the Chairman of the Board.

Rap is the perfect genre for Trump`s tweets, in fact he should turn his tweets into a rap album of diss tracks.

Yes, it sure looks like Jimmy has learned his lesson, but if he ever tries to humanize the freak again, I`ll set his hair on fire.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Patriot Destroys Donald Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame Star With a Pickax

“President Donald Trump`s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was destroyed by a man with a pickax early Wednesday, according to Los Angeles police Officer Ray Brown.

Patricia Cox, a witness, told CNN affiliate KCAL/KCBS that she saw a man “going to town” on the ground “like it was his business just to be tearing up the ground,” she said. “I thought it was work going on over here.”

Police later arrested Austin Clay, 24, on suspicion of felony vandalism. Brown said Clay did not reveal a motive for the alleged vandalism, and the investigation continues. He`s being held on $20,000 bail.”

CNN

Trump`s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame has been a frequent target of vandals and protestors, it`s been defaced numerous times, and a LA street artist named Plastic Jesus built a tiny wall around it.

But a patriot, Austin Clay, took a pickax out of a guitar case and destroyed the damn thing.

The time for measured criticism of Trump is long past, we must take actions to destroy Trump`s presidency, and get rid of him by any means necessary.

I write an article for my blog every day, and my essays used to be a mix of entertainment, current events, odd news, and politics, but now almost all of my editorials are searing indictments of Trump.

We must redouble our efforts to bring down the Trump administration, use your talents and treasure to save our democracy by getting rid of the abomination.

I will not rest until the Trump regime is destroyed just like that damn star. I`m going full-Austin Clay on Donald Trump!

Read More:

https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/25/politics/trump-walk-of-fame-star-smash/index.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

A Cat’s Purr is the Cat’s Meow

A cat`s meow can be irritating, my felines can drive me bonkers when they meow when I`m concentrating on writing an article or watching an exciting movie.

But when a kitty purrs it`s always soothing, even when I`m in a foul mood, the sound of my cats purring can lift my spirits.

When my pets meow I don`t know if they are happy, hungry, bored or mad, but when they purr I know they`re happy.

I wish women would purr instead of moan when they are sexually satisfied, then we would know that aren`t faking it.

In the cacophony of modern life, thank goodness for a cat`s purr. Cats begin purring when they are a few days old, and thank God most of them never stop purring.

Purr on kitties, purr on!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWVaqk4H7b0

 

When the Rapture Comes Donald Trump and White Evangelicals Will be Left Behind

“Days after the news broke that President Donald Trump`s former lawyer Michael Cohen had audio of Trump discussing a payoff to a woman with whom he`d allegedly had an affair, one of Trump`s top evangelical allies came to the president`s defense – with an insult to former President Ronald Reagan. Robert Jeffress, the pastor at the megachurch First Baptist Dallas, told Fox News`s Ed Henry that Trump`s adultery made him no worse than Reagan.

`The reason we supported President Reagan was not because we were supporting womanizing or divorce,` Jeffress told Henry. `We supported his policies. … We`re not under any illusion that we were voting for an altar boy when we voted for President Trump. We knew about his past. And by the way, none of us has a perfect past. We voted for him because of his policies.` (Reagan has never been publicly accused of being unfaithful to his second wife Nancy Reagan, but some biographers have said that he was something of a lothario in Hollywood during his years an actor and that he cheated on his first wife, Jane Wyman.”

Vox

If Michael Cohen had an audiotape of a porn star faking an orgasm while Trump was diddling her with his puny presidential pecker, it wouldn`t make any difference to white evangelicals, they would still treat him like the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

If the Stormy Daniels` scandal didn`t dent Trump`s approval ratings with white evangelicals, no bimbo eruption is going to slow down the Trump train.

Is anyone surprised that Robert Jeffress, a member of Trump`s evangelical advisory council, came to the defense of the pussy grabber? Jeffress is Trump`s unofficial fluffer, he`s an expert at fluffing the orange buffoon`s ego, and I`m quite sure he would also gladly serve as a fluffer in the porn flick definition of the word.

Jeffress defended Trump by insulting the beloved conservative icon, Ronald Reagan. I`m convinced that if Trump`s narcissism got the best of him and he tweeted that he was more popular than Jesus Christ that Jeffress and his fellow white evangelical scum would agree, arguing that Jesus Christ`s social media presence is negligible.

When Jesus returns for His Church, Trump and white evangelical leaders will be left behind enjoying a circle jerk.

Read More:

https://www.vox.com/2018/7/23/17603524/robert-jeffress-defends-trump-adultery-reagan

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What Do You Think Mike Pence Does With All His Free Time?

John Nance Garner the 32nd Vice President of the United States, famously opined that the office of the vice presidency isn`t worth a bucket of warm piss.

This is especially true in the case of Mike Pence, his boss goes apoplectic if any of his underlings steals the spotlight. Pence is usually seen in public only when Trump wants him to stand by his side and gaze adorningly at him when he makes a major announcement.

Pence certainly has the time to screw Mother seven ways from Sunday every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but I would bet my Bible that the only sex he has it with Trump, facilitated with a jar of Vaseline.

The white evangelical scum could corral the Cabinet members into a daily Bible study, but I bet even they are tired of the self-righteous prude. Most likely he has Bible study with the mice who have grown fat and too lazy to run way from Pence, eating the cheese puffs that Trump drops all over the White House.

The evangelical zealot could be spending all his free time plagiarizing the Book of Solomon to write love sonnets for Mother.

The hot pile of evangelical crap is probably making a list of all the fellow white evangelicals he will appoint to his administration once Trump is impeached and gets to sit in the Big Chair.

I really don`t give a flying fig what Pence does with all his free time, I only wish I could tell you what I would do to him if I could spend one minute alone with him in his prayer closet.

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Donald Trump is the Favorite President of Nazis, Racists and White Evangelical Scum

“When asked to name the greatest president of their lifetimes, more Americans named Barack Obama than any other president in a recent Pew Research Center poll.

Thirty-one percent named Obama the best, while another 13 percent named him second best.”

New Jersey 101.5

“Twitter users pounced on President Donald Trump early Saturday after he boasted about being `your favorite President.`

Trump attempted to dismiss a Friday report in the New York Times that his former personal lawyer Michael Cohen had before the 2016 election secretly taped him discussing a payment to former Playboy model Karen McDougal (with whom Trump is alleged to have had an affair) with the following tweet:

Inconceivable that the government would break into a lawyer`s office (early in the morning) – almost unheard of. Even more inconceivable that a lawyer would tape a client – totally unheard of & perhaps illegal. The good news is that your favorite President did nothing wrong!”

Huffington Post

This is that rare Trump tweet that isn`t total bullshit, the orange clown is correct when he says that our favorite president has done nothing wrong.

Of course Trump has done virtually nothing right and everything wrong since assuming the presidency, and historians will conclude that he`s the worst president in history.

President Obama is living rent-free in Trump`s brain, and given that his noggin is virtually empty, the former president has plenty of room and may never leave.

From the Iran deal to TPP to climate change to Obamacare, Trump is singularly focused on destroying his predecessor`s legacy.

The Pew Research Center presidential popularity poll was released a few days ago, and it was on Trump`s mind when he tweeted that he was America`s favorite president.

Trump needs to wake up and smell the coffee, most Americans hate him and they have made #Notmypresident one of the most popular hashtags of the last couple of years.

Trump is the favorite president of Nazis, racists and white evangelical scum, but mainstream America considers him an abomination.

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JULY ARCHIVES PAGE 2:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/july-2018-archives-page-2/

Karen Pence Wears Slutty Dress Even Nicky Minaj Would be Embarrassed to Wear

“Second-lady Karen Pence is getting dragged for wearing a mall-bought dress that was too short and tight while meeting the King and Queen of Jordan this week.

To receive King Abdullah II bin Al-Hussein and Queen Rania on Monday, Karen, the wife of VP Mike Pence, wore a pink-and-black dress with a halter-and-tank style top, and pink, strappy shoes.”

AOL

Mike and Karen Pence are devout evangelical Christians, and they are circumspect in speech, demeanor and dress, in other words they are so ramrod straight that it would take pliers to remove the sticks from their arseholes.

Karen, 61, known as Mother to her hubby and close friends, wore a slutty dress while meeting with the King and Queen of Jordan that even Nicky Minaj would have second thoughts about wearing.

Mother`s belt was only an inch below her ample bosom, old men are known to hike up their pants up to their chests, but I`ve never seen an old hag favor such a look.

What a shameless hussy, I doubt she would don such a ratchet ensemble if she was meeting the Pope or Jerry Falwell Jr instead of Muslim royalty.

Mother must have got her hubby all hot and bothered by wearing such a scandalous dress in public, I bet he gave her the Mother of all holy poundings that night.

I never thought in a million years that I would be slut-shaming Karen Pence of all people, but girlfriend gave me a Mother of a sexual migraine.

I apologize if my essay induced anyone to vomit or to get shit-faced drunk.

Link to pic of slutty dress:

https://www.aol.com/article/lifestyle/2018/06/27/second-lady-karen-pence-is-getting-dragged-for-wearing-an-inappropriate-dress/23469625/

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Donald Trump Tops Google Image Search for ‘Idiot’

“If you Google image search idiot right now, you`ll find images of President Donald Trump. Online activists, in protest of Trump`s policies regarding unauthorized immigrants and members of the LGBTQ community, among others, are pushing his portraits to the top by manipulating the search engines ranking algorithm, as first reported by The Guardian earlier this week.”

The Verge

These online activists aren`t criminals or evil hackers, they are patriots performing a public service by manipulating algorithms to push photos of the stable genius to the top of Google Image searches for “idiot.”

TRUMP THE BUSINESSMAN IS AN IDIOT

It`s axiomatic that Trump the real estate developer is an idiot, although he`s never declared personal bankruptcy several Trump-controlled businesses have gone bankrupt, and over a dozen Trump business ventures have failed spectacularly, including Trump Steaks, Trump Airlines, Trump University and Trump Vodka.

Operating a casino is practically a license to print money, only a fuc*ing moron or somebody who cheats the mafia from their share fails in this lucrative business.

TRUMP THE PRESIDENT IS AN IDIOT

Former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was so enraged by Trump`s insane foreign policy that he called him a “fucking moron” in a private meeting, and refused to deny he said it publicly, even though he knew it would seal his fate with the thin-skinned narcissist.

Chief of Staff John Kelly, former chief economic adviser Gary Cohn, and Steve Bannon are the most prominent administration officials who have called Trump a variant of “idiot.” Practically every politician, Republican and Democrat, has called Trump an idiot in private.

TRUMP THE WANNABE ROMEO IS AN IDIOT

Trump doesn`t know the meaning of discretion, he has a penchant for bedding porn stars, Playboy models and other assorted skanks who don`t exactly have tendency for keeping things on the downlow. Then he tries to buy their silence by having them sign nondisclosure agreements for paltry sums. Of course the shit and the semen-encrusted thongs are going to hit the fan.

TRUMP IS A FUC*ING MORON, PERIOD!

 

Who Is More Reprehensible Donald Trump or Mike Pence?

“Conservatives in and out of Washington were alarmed by President Trump`s joint press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday, where the American leader refused to affirm the conclusions of U.S. intelligence agencies that Putin`s Russia meddled in the 2016 presidential election.

`But where some national security experts saw a president who appears to be `wholly in the pocket of Putin,` Vice President Mike Pence saw quite the opposite. `What the world saw, what the American people saw, is that President Donald Trump will always put the prosperity and security of America first,` Pence said, per NBC News` Peter Alexander.”

The Week

What most Americans witnessed in Helsinki was the most obsequious and treasonous display by an American president on the world stage. Even Trump`s most delusional supporters spoke out in outrage against his betrayal of our democracy.

Trump behaved like a fanboy invited on stage to meet Harry Styles, your guess is as good as mine why the Orange Buffoon walked bowlegged off the stage.

Mike Pence declared “What the world saw, what the American people saw, is that President Donald Trump will always put the prosperity and security of America first.”

Pence`s statement would be correct only if he substituted the word “America” with “Russia.”

Never mind alternative facts, Pence is living in an alternative reality. Pence has his head so far up Trump`s ass, and Trump has his head so far up Putin`s ass that you can smell these arseholes from a mile away.

Pence`s incredible statement only proves that we must get rid of Trump and Pence by any means necessary.

Read More:

http://theweek.com/speedreads/785121/mike-pence-lauds-trumpputin-presser-trump-always-prosperity-security-america-first

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Next Air Force One Will be Red, White and Blue (Same Colors as Russian Flag)

“The next generation of Air Force One will abandon the planes` traditional color scheme in favor of red, white and blue, President Donald Trump told CBS News, confirming reports about changes to the planes` iconic look.”

USA Today

Trump eagerly discussed the new color scheme with reporters, perhaps he wanted to take his mind off another flying machine that`s been in the news lately, the Baby Trump blimp.

The traditional color of scheme of light blue and white is soothing and understated, appropriate for a superpower confident in its own power.

The new color scheme will be red, white and blue, the same colors as the American flag and the Russian flag. I wouldn`t be surprised if the plane`s paint job resembles the Russian flag more than it does Old Glory.

The planes aren`t expected to be completed until January 2025 after Trump leaves office, so maybe he will restrain himself from going overboard with the new paint scheme.

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/07/18/donald-trump-air-force-one-red-white-and-blue-cost-3-9-billion/794735002/

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The Day After Helsinki Donald Trump Attempts Cleanup

Shameful! Disgraceful! A bad day for the United States! The most serious mistake of his presidency! That wasn`t how the usual suspects at CNN and MSNBC characterized the joint press conference Monday by American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin in Helsinki at the end of their summit. That was the assessment of senior Republicans, even Fox News anchors condemned Trump`s buffoonery.

Trump`s statements at Helsinki were embarrassing, and dare I say it treasonous! Upon his return to America he should have been tarred, feathered and ridden out of town on a rail, or at least censured by the Senate.

When even ” Fox and Friends” anchor Brian Kilmeade panned Trump`s performance he knew he had to do or say something, immediately. And so a day after his much-maligned news conference with his BFF Putin, Trump attempted some damage control saying “I accept the findings of the U.S. intelligence community that Russia interfered in the 2016 presidential campaign.” But then he veered off the script that was written for him and suggested that others may have interfered in the election. I guess we`re back to that 400-pound hacker meddling in our elections from his basement.

Nothing`s changed, Trump has claimed to accept the conclusion of our intelligence agencies before, only to almost immediately cast doubts on their loyalty and professionalism.

One of Trump`s most damaging statements at Helsinki was when he said he saw no reason why it WOULD be Russia that interfered. In his ridiculous attempt to clean up his mess he said he meant to say he saw no reason why it WOULDN`T be Russia.

Unfortunately for Trump it wasn`t just one line that ruined an otherwise masterful performance, his entire performance was a travesty. Trump was offered multiple opportunities to speak truth to power, or semi-power, and strongly denounce Russia`s actions, but instead he placed blame on the FBI and said that he had confidence in both parties – the U.S. intelligence community and Russia.

He went so far as to say that Putin`s denial of having been involved in the election was extremely strong and powerful.

Trump`s Helsinki fiasco will live in infamy, his patented strategy of making Americans forget about a colossal blunder by pointing to a shiny object won`t work, he is permanently weakened on the world stage and in the homeland.

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