the rapture

The Rapture

The Rapture is an eschatological belief held by dispensationalist evangelicals, that true believers will be suddenly and supernaturally raptured or “caught up” from Earth to meet Jesus in the air. After the event, those who believe will ascend to heaven, whereas those who do not will remain and endure seven years of catastrophic tribulation.

Reformed, Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, and most mainline Protestant churches do not believe in the Rapture delusion. It is a heresy that has taken root primarily in evangelical and fundamentalist churches in America.

In places like Nigeria, Syria, North Korea, and Somalia where Christians are massacred and owing a Bible is illegal, the persecuted believers are not counting on the Rapture to deliver them.

In other words, in countries where Christians are a persecuted minority the Rapture is not a popular doctrine, but in America where Christians are in the majority it is a widely held belief.

In America if a department store salesperson tells Christians “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” snowflakes cry out that they are persecuted and they long for the Rapture.

Not only are evangelicals wimps for hoping that the Rapture will save them from faux persecution, but they are selfish assholes for not caring that those left behind will face seven years of tribulation.

If only the Rapture were real and MAGA Christians were raptured to meet Jesus in the air and then dropped straight to hell while those of us left behind enjoy paradise on Earth.

The Rapture is a Goldmine for Evangelical Scam Artists

White evangelicals promulgate an eschatology that has been wrong for generations and they will continue to prophesy that the End Times is right around the corner until the World ends as a result of climate change, nuclear annihilation or an errant asteroid. Jesus has as much connection to the End Times as Megatron or Hella.

For over two thousand years Christians have been preaching that the return of Jesus is imminent. Tithe, attend church and convert the heathen, lest Jesus finds you slacking when he returns.

For centuries Christians have imagined the return of Christ as a triumphant event in which he returns to punish sinners and reward the saints.

The Rapture in which Jesus returns in the air to evacuate his sinners from the world, followed by seven years of tribulation for the sinners left behind, is a relatively recent invention.

The Rapture has been one of the most lucrative inventions of the church: entrepreneurial Christians have made billions writing books, producing movies, and hosting seminars depicting this fantastical event.

Evangelists, pastors and other evangelical leaders know that the rapture is a scam, but lay Christians actually really believe this nonsense.

Word to the wise: Chill out! Smoke a joint! If Jesus does return, he is so chill that he will just ask you to pass him the bong.

Dear God: Please Rapture the Hateful Evangelicals the Hell Out of Here

A century ago, “The Rapture of the Church” was an eschatological theological position held by few Christians, primarily American evangelicals. Today most American evangelicals believe in the Rapture, and even most secular Americans are familiar with the concept: Christians around the world will be taken up (raptured) into heaven prior to the unleashing of apocalyptic events culminating with the rise of the anti-Christ and the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

I prefer a Christianity based on the teaching of Jesus Christ and without any Science Fiction/Disaster movie theatrics, but to each his own.

American white evangelicals are the most loathsome Christian movement on the face of the Earth, they stand for everything that is antithetical to the Gospel of Jesus Christ: racism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia, capitalism run amuck, baseless conspiracy theories, Trumpism …

Most of what evangelicals believe in is hogwash, but how I pray that there will really be a Rapture when the good Lord take up evangelicals into heaven. That may turn heaven into hell, but good riddance to bad rubbish.

On the other hand, without evangelicals America would be a democratic paradise: hate crimes and racism would plummet and Kumbaya would become the National Anthem.

Oh God, please, please rapture the evangelicals to kingdom come.

Donald Trump and The Rapture

Unlike former presidents Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush, Trump doesn’t believe in evangelical eschatology, or even Christianity in general. Christian morals and beliefs have no place in his all-consuming ambition to make as much money as possible while becoming as famous as possible.

The aforementioned former Republican presidents paid lip service to evangelical concerns during their presidential campaigns, but once they assumed power, they ignored their evangelical brethren.

Trump on the other hand is on a mission from God to make all of the evangelical wet dreams come true, he’s given them almost everything they’ve lusted for: stacking the federal courts with pro-life judges, moving the United States embassy to Jerusalem and filling his administration with Bible thumping fundamentalists.

Trump keeps white evangelical support at a fever pitch by playing to the idea that God has anointed him to be president, and that his fealty to evangelical principles will usher in the End Times.

The short-fingered vulgarian is staking everything on the belief that pandering to white evangelicals will guarantee his reelection. Evangelicals believe that their orange-tinged messiah will usher in the Rapture, that Jesus will rapture them out of this world, and leave the godless liberals, limp-wristed gays and feminist lesbians to face seven years of hell on earth.

Trump’s version of the Rapture would be the Almighty rapturing all winners to a heavenly resort where hookers stroll naked on the streets of gold, and there’s not a person of color in sight.

If Trump is reelected, he will no longer need white evangelicals to remain in power, and he will pray that those useful idiots will be raptured out of this world.

When the Rapture Comes Donald Trump and White Evangelicals Will be Left Behind

“Days after the news broke that President Donald Trump`s former lawyer Michael Cohen had audio of Trump discussing a payoff to a woman with whom he`d allegedly had an affair, one of Trump`s top evangelical allies came to the president`s defense – with an insult to former President Ronald Reagan. Robert Jeffress, the pastor at the megachurch First Baptist Dallas, told Fox News`s Ed Henry that Trump`s adultery made him no worse than Reagan.

`The reason we supported President Reagan was not because we were supporting womanizing or divorce,` Jeffress told Henry. `We supported his policies. … We`re not under any illusion that we were voting for an altar boy when we voted for President Trump. We knew about his past. And by the way, none of us has a perfect past. We voted for him because of his policies.` (Reagan has never been publicly accused of being unfaithful to his second wife Nancy Reagan, but some biographers have said that he was something of a lothario in Hollywood during his years an actor and that he cheated on his first wife, Jane Wyman.”

Vox

If Michael Cohen had an audiotape of a porn star faking an orgasm while Trump was diddling her with his puny presidential pecker, it wouldn`t make any difference to white evangelicals, they would still treat him like the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

If the Stormy Daniels` scandal didn`t dent Trump`s approval ratings with white evangelicals, no bimbo eruption is going to slow down the Trump train.

Is anyone surprised that Robert Jeffress, a member of Trump`s evangelical advisory council, came to the defense of the pussy grabber? Jeffress is Trump`s unofficial fluffer, he`s an expert at fluffing the orange buffoon`s ego, and I`m quite sure he would also gladly serve as a fluffer in the porn flick definition of the word.

Jeffress defended Trump by insulting the beloved conservative icon, Ronald Reagan. I`m convinced that if Trump`s narcissism got the best of him and he tweeted that he was more popular than Jesus Christ that Jeffress and his fellow white evangelical scum would agree, arguing that Jesus Christ`s social media presence is negligible.

When Jesus returns for His Church, Trump and white evangelical leaders will be left behind enjoying a circle jerk.

Read More:

https://www.vox.com/2018/7/23/17603524/robert-jeffress-defends-trump-adultery-reagan

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