Author: robertpaulreyes

Man Dies Peacefully After Being Told Donald Trump Had Been Impeached

“An Oregon man died peacefully after being told – falsely – that President Donald Trump had been impeached, according to his obituary.

Michael Garland Elliott, 75, died April 6 after suffering from declining health. His ex-wife, Teresa Elliott, who is described in the obituary as his best friend and only surviving relative, was the last voice he heard before he passed away, according to the obituary published in the Oregonian.

She told him the president had been impeached from office.
`And the last thing she said to him was `Donald Trump has been impeached,` the obituary reads. `Upon hearing that he took his final, gentle breath, his earthly work concluded.`”

Time

Elliot`s wife may not have been speaking truthfully, but she was speaking prophetically. You don`t have to be a psychologist or a political science major to discern that Trump`s ignorance, ineptitude, arrogance and corruption will inevitably lead to his impeachment.

I have written dozens of articles denouncing fake news, but this is one instance where it`s morally and ethically correct to ease a loved one`s passage into the great beyond with the comforting faux news that Trump has been impeached.

I`m too much of a cynic, I wouldn`t believe it if a loved one told me that Trump had been impeached to soothe my soul as I lay on my death bed. I would demand that she would bring me Trump`s shrived up little pecker or the New York Times obituary as proof.

Let`s hope and pray that in two years the Democrats will gain control of both houses of Congress, and that they will indeed impeach the Orange Menace. Trump`s impeachment would invigorate me, and add a good ten years to my life.

Read More:

http://time.com/4743618/obituary-donald-trump-impeachment-michael-gardland-elliott/

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Melania Trump Nudges Donald Trump to Remind Him to Put His Tiny Hand Over His Shriveled Heart

“President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump welcomed an estimated 21,000 guests for the 139th Easter Egg Roll at the White House Monday. But, while addressing the crowd from the Truman Balcony, Melania subtly nudged Donald, reminding him to put his hand over his heart for the National Anthem-a small moment that turned into a bigger discussion on social media. The couple`s son Barron Trump, however, did not require any prompting from his mom.

(The U.S. Flag Code calls for anyone addressing the flag, either during the Pledge of Allegiance or the national anthem, to put their right hands over their hearts.)”

EOnline.com

Melania was born in Slovenia, and she didn`t move to New York City until 1996, but even this lovely immigrant knows that when the National Anthem is played, a red-blooded American puts his hand over his heart.

Barron, Donald`s 11-year-old son, didn`t need any prompting from his mother to do his patriotic duty, hopefully unlike his dad he will grow up to be a scholar, gentleman and a patriot.

Even the Easter Bunny had his hand over his heart, only the “America First” president required a nudge from his better part to remind him of his civic duty.

At least we were spared the spectacle of the Easter Bunny humping Trump to remind him to put his demonic little hand over his tiny heart.

Read More:
http://www.eonline.com/news/843926/melania-trump-nudges-donald-trump-to-raise-his-hand-for-the-national-anthem

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Functionally Illiterate Donald Trump Endorses Book With No Words

“President Donald Trump, a man of many words, tweeted his admiration Monday for a book with almost none.
In the middle of a Monday morning Tweetstorm, the President gave an endorsement to a 266 page tome called Reasons To Vote For Democrats: A Comprehensive Guide.
But most of those 266 pages, it turns out, are entirely blank.
Remarkably, even though the one-note gag is revealed in the sample pages included by Amazon and other retailers, the book still checks in at No. 4 on Amazon`s Political Humor bestseller list.”
Mediaite

Donald Trump has acknowledged that he hasn`t read any biographies of presidents, in fact he doesn`t have the focus and discipline to read anything lengthier than a 140-character tweet.

The only book I can image Trump endorsing would be a graphic novel, erotic literature or a book with no words, and that`s exactly what he did: Endorse a gag book with no words.

Trump doesn`t have the intellectual curiosity to read, and that`s a crying shame. Kids don`t be like Trump, expand your mind and your horizons by reading.

I`m tempted to write a book called “Reasons to reelect Donald Trump,” all of the pages would be blank.

Trump doesn`t like reading books, but maybe he will read this Web site: Easy Peasy: Learn to Read Online:

https://allinonehomeschool.com/learn-to-read/

 Read More:
http://www.mediaite.com/online/donald-trump-tweets-admiration-for-book-with-no-words/

What Pet Should Donald Trump Get?

“Of all the stains besmirching the Trump presidency – the ethical lacunae, the spasmodic “policy” fits, the Golf Digest aesthetic – none looms so large as the absence of a White House pet. Breathes there a man with a soul so dead that he doesn`t want a loyal dog or faithful feline trotting beside him when he mounts that lonely staircase to the venerable Master Bedroom?

Apparently, yes.

It seems emblematic of President Trump`s blaring tone-deafness for the office that he doesn`t even feign interest in recruiting a furry, fowlish or finny friend. Pets reap vast, humanizing rewards for presidents, as almost every one of his predecessors has discovered.”

New York Times

Even Hitler had a pet, Blondi, a German Shepherd that was given to him as gift when it was a puppy. Hitler and his pooch were inseparable, Blondi stayed with her master to the bitter end, she was there with him when he finally died in his bunker.

I`m not comparing Trump to Hitler, the first rule of politics and political commentary is never compare anyone to Hitler. But Trump desperately needs a pet to soften his image.

What pet would be ideal for Trump?

Bird

Trump`s wispy hair would make an ideal nest for any bird.

Cat

Maybe not, we all know how Trump loves to grab pussy. Trump might grope a pussy cat to death.

Snake

Perfect choice! A snake is a universal symbol of evil, I can picture the evil bastard snuggling to sleep with a serpent.

Rat

Maybe not, it would be almost impossible to tell the rat apart from Trump`s aides.

Dog

It`s hard not to trust a person who loves dogs, if Trump can convince us that he loves his pooch, we might learn to tolerate him.

Read More:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/15/opinion/sunday/what-kind-of-pet-should-donald-trump-get.html?_r=0

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Donald Trump Plays Golf With the World at the Edge of Armageddon

This Saturday marks the 105th anniversary of the birth of Kim Il-sung, `eternal president` of North Korea, and grandfather of Kim Jong-un. The more ineffectual the dictator the more grandiose his title, the Dear Leader just might ignite World War III.

The portly dictator has promised a big surprise for the “Day of the Sun,” which will most likely be another nuclear denotation. The chubby tyrant doesn`t have many tricks up his sleeves; it`s either firing a missile or detonating a nuclear bomb.

President Trump responded by dispatching the fearsome strike group led by the flagship U.S.S. Carl Vinson to North Korea.

Kim Jong-un in his usual inflammatory language is warning of thermonuclear conflagration, and China has positioned millions of troops near the border with North Korea.

With the world at the edge of Armageddon, Trump arrived for another weekend at his Florida resort on Thursday, sans the usual entourage of top aides who have accompanied him in the past.

Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, and evidently Trump will play golf while the world burns.

Aides from the National Security Council may be accompanying Trump to his resort, but the image of Trump golfing during his crisis makes him look feckless and out of touch.

I wish Jong-un would drop the Mother of All Bombs on Mar a Lago, Trump`s vacations at his Southern White House are costing the American taxpayers a fortune.

At this critical juncture Trump needs to be at the Situation Room in the White House, where his aides can tell the neophyte politician how to properly and cautiously respond to North Korea`s provocations.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Outrage! $200 Million Suicide-Prevention Net Being Built at Golden Gate Bridge

“In May, contractors will begin installing temporary fencing along the Golden Gate Bridge and will being making measurements to manufacture a net to prevent suicide jumpers.
In a commemoration ceremony Thursday, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said the deterrent would provide a `critical second chance, maybe more than that` for those acting on impulsive thoughts.

In 2016 alone, 39 people died jumping off the bridge, considered one of the top suicide magnets in the world. Another 184 came to the bridge intending to harm themselves, but were stopped.”

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

The Golden Gate bride is an engineering marvel, an Art Deco artistic masterpiece, a San Francisco landmark, and a critical artery between San Francisco and Marin County.

This suicide prevention net is an aesthetic abomination, a $200 million financial boondoggle, and an affront to God Almighty, and the citizens of the most beautiful city in the world.

My hometown is paradise on Earth, I love the cultural and ethnic diversity, the world-class restaurants, the Victorian houses, cable cars, beaches …

Good riddance to anyone who jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge, they are oxygen thieves who despise the precious gift of life. It`s unfathomable how anyone can kill himself, let alone in the greatest city in the world.

To desecrate San Francisco`s most beloved and well-known landmark, spending $200 million in the process, to save a few wretched souls is the epitome of the pussification of America.

Instead of spending $200 million marring the artistic beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge, spend a couple of millions to fully staff the suicide prevention hotline.

Read More:

http://www.stltoday.com/news/suicide-net-is-being-built-at-the-golden-gate-bridge/article_3751e246-f39d-58d9-a077-8dc3b4b7bd0e.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

How Should Donald Trump Relieve Stress?

Donald Trump is the Leader of the Free World, the President of the United States, the Commander-in-Chief of the mightiest army in history, but he`s the most insecure man in the world.

The Trump administration is embroiled in scandals (most self-inflicted), devastated by leaks from his own staff, and under constant attack by the press and Democrats — Trump perceives himself being under constant siege.

Instead of seeking solace reading a book, attending a play or commensurating with a friend, Trump feeds his feeling of inadequacy by watching the MSNBC and CNN anchors and commentators criticize and ridicule his administration.

At night Trump can`t find comfort in the arms of his wife, she`s living in the Trump Tower in NYC, so he relieves tension by firing nasty and incoherent tweets.

God only knows to what extent Trump takes his frustrations off on his hapless staff, he is in desperate need of something to relieve his stress.

How should Trump relieve his existential angst?

Teddy Bear?

Lover?

Pet?

Hobby?

What do you think, dear friends and readers?

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Epic Encounter Between Red Panda and Rock Rocks the Internet: Video

The Giant Panda, native to China, has large distinctive black patches around its eyes, over the ears, and across its roly-poly body. The Giant Panda is arguably the most adorable creature on the face of the Earth, and it`s China`s goodwill ambassador to the world.

The Red Panda, also native to China, has reddish-brown fur, a shaggy tail, and a lean body. It`s a handsome animal, but it`s nowhere near as adorable as its black and white cousin.

This red panda`s antics are so adorable that this video is racking up more views than those featuring Giant Pandas. This video depicts the adorable animal emerging from a hole in its enclosure before abruptly stopping in front of a big rock, and adopting a defensive posture with its little paws raised in the air. After a few moments of nervous histrionics the seemingly defeated animal turned around and walked back into its hole when its shaggy tail tucked between his hind legs.

This epic encounter between the panda and the rock is a prime example why we love the Internet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5wx-6cO8VA

Moron Asks Deputies to Check Home, They Find Marijuana Plants

“A Florida man who asked deputies to make sure there wasn`t an invader inside his home was arrested when they discovered marijuana plants instead.

The Lee County Sheriff`s Office said deputies responded Saturday to the North Fort Myers home of Nathan Stone, 23, who called to report that his house appeared to have been targeted by a break-in.

Deputies said Stone appeared visibly frightened when they arrived and he asked them to go inside his house first to make sure there weren`t any remaining burglars.

The sheriff`s office said the deputies agreed to Stone`s request and went inside to discover he was using his home as a marijuana grow house, with cannabis plants discovered in the living room, bathroom and a bedroom.”

UPI

This joker failed Dealing 101 Rule 1: If you have product in your house, don`t call the cops if you fear you`ve been burglarized.

He also flunked Rule 2: Don`t use your own product!

Not only is Stone a moron, but he`s also a coward. His girlfriend was in the house at the time, and he was too chicken to enter, and check to see if she was all right.

Stone and his girlfriend were arrested and charged with marijuana producing, marijuana possession over 20 grams and related charges.

Stone is such a sniveling coward, he`s going to be somebody`s wife in the Big House before you can say: Loser!

If Stone`s old lady is reading this article I have an offer for her: I will provide you with all the weed you can smoke if you move in with me, and if a burglar breaks into my house I`ll blow him away before he can do you any harm.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/11/Florida-man-asks-deputies-to-check-home-deputies-find-grow-house/9811491938655/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Dad Kills Son Over Who Would Walk the Dog

“A family argument over who would walk the dog turned deadly when a dad shot and killed his son during a wild shootout Sunday in Chicago, police said.

Both men, whose identities were not immediately released, were shot multiple times and the father was critically injured.”

New York Post

Just another shooting in the crime-riddled city of Chicago, at least the pooch wasn`t collateral damage. I am so sick and tired of Chicagoans and their thirst for violence; I can honestly say that I care more about the dogs than the human beings of the Windy City.

Anybody who regards walking his dog as a chore instead of a pleasure doesn`t deserve to own a canine. The only way this story could have a happier ending would be if both morons had died.

Walking my pooch, Mandy, is the highlight of my day; I love walking around my neighborhood, greeting my neighbors, and letting the little kids pet my adorable pet. The fact that Mandy loves walking around the block as much as I do is just icing on the cake.

Animal control should take the dog away from the critically-inured survivor, that sorry excuse for a human being doesn`t deserve to have his dog waiting for him when he`s released from prison.

Read More:

http://nypost.com/2017/04/10/father-kills-son-in-shootout-over-who-would-walk-the-dog/

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Every Cat is a Therapy Cat

“A Cambridge University library has come up with a novel way for students to relieve exam stress – with the help of a friendly ginger cat.

Five-year-old Jasper has become a hit with students at the Marshall Library of Economics after he made an appearance at a recent event.

`Tea with Jasper` attracted more than 100 students to the surprise of librarian Clare Trowell, who had just 30 tickets.”
Cambridge News

The university librarian tried to make the austere library more welcoming by adding a lot of potted plants, and buying more plush sofas, but the library didn`t become a safe refuge from the madness of campus life until she brought in Jasper the cat as the library mascot.

When anybody visits my house, regardless if its` a friend, family, or contractor, he usually doesn`t loosen up until my fat and fluffy cat Tico makes an appearance.

A feline doesn`t need any training to become a therapy pet, every cat is a therapy animal. When I`m doing my taxes, or performing any other unpleasant task, I always have my cats around to soothe my rattled nerves. The soft purr of a kitty will chase away any demon.

Every library, indeed every public building, should have a cat mascot. Jasper helps the university students relieve stress, and a cat will help you deal with everyday trials and tribulations.

There are many cats available for adoption at your local animal shelter, and each and every one will make an adorable therapy pet for your home.

Read More:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/cambridge-university-library-economics-cat-12872770

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Arkansas Plans Seven Executions in 11 Days!Thank You Jesus!

“Arkansas is preparing to execute seven death row inmates in 11 days this month before the state`s deadly drugs expire, an unprecedented number of lethal injections in such a narrow window.

The hurried schedule has prompted unease from the state`s Republican governor, lawsuits from the condemned inmates, and criticism from an array of former corrections officials nationwide.”

The Washington Post

If every state executed seven death row inmates in 11 days, the crime rate would drop precipitously. There is an overabundance of animals on death row who need to be put to death.

Most criminals on death row will never be executed, and the few who are put to death languish in death row an average of 15 years before justice is finally meted out.

The death penalty as it stands isn`t a deterrent, it`s a joke. But if more states followed the example of Arkansas, thugs would think twice before capital crimes.

Unfortunately, the only reason the state of Arkansas is killing so many death row inmates in such a short span of time is because the supply of deadly drugs will soon expire.

Shame on Arkansas, actually it`s been 12 years since the state executed a criminal. Shame on every state that doesn`t execute criminals on a regular basis to protect its citizens.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/04/07/with-lethal-injection-drugs-expiring-arkansas-plans-unprecedented-seven-executions-in-11-days/?utm_term=.87dc55c625e3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Twitter User Seeks 18 Million Retweets for Free Wendy’s Nuggets

“Wendy`s challenged a Twitter user to accumulate 18 million retweets on a single tweet to earn a year of free chicken nuggets.

Carter Wilkerson tweeted at the fast-food chain`s official Twitter account to ask how many retweets would earn him a year`s supply of his favorite treat.

`Yo Wendy`s how many retweets for a year of free chicken nuggets?` Wilkerson wrote.

Wendy`s set the bar at 18 million and Wilkerson, whose Twitter bio includes the phrase `I like chicken nuggets` pleaded to his Twitter followers for help after telling the restaurant to `consider it done.`”

UPI

I don`t have a discriminating palate, and I often dine fast food restaurants, but I draw the line at ordering chicken nuggets.

Whenever a person eats an exotic food (alligator burger or buffalo stew), he usually says it tastes like chicken. God only knows what Wendy`s chicken nuggets are made of, one thing`s for sure Wendy`s nuggets are the only non-chicken meat that doesn`t taste like chicken.

I could eat a Burger King Whopper every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but I would die of dysentery after a week of dining on nothing but chicken nuggets.

Yo Carter, if you`re not able to accumulate 18 million retweets don`t worry, I`ll give you free access to my septic tank, that shi* tastes better than Wendy`s chicken nuggets.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/07/Twitter-user-seeks-18-million-retweets-for-free-Wendys-nuggets/1321491594429/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=2

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Talking to Your Pet is a Sign of Intelligence

“Have you ever named your car, talked to your pets or sang to your plants? Don`t worry, you`re not losing it. In fact, it`s a sign of intelligence.
Anthropomorphising – giving humanlike tendencies to inanimate objects and animals – is `a natural byproduct of the tendency that makes humans uniquely smart on this planet,` Nicholas Epley, behavioural science professor at the University of Chicago, told Quartz.”

Indy100.Com

I talk to my cats and my dog every day, and I always feel better after after chatting with them, a marked contrast to my social interactions with most people.

I don`t discuss climate change or foreign policy with my furry companions, but I shower my felines with compliments about their physical attractiveness, and I chastise my pooch for digging holes in my backyard.

When my non animal-friendly friends catch me talking to my pets, they give me a look that says: Doesn`t this idiot realize that his animals don`t understand a word he`s saying.

Now I can clap back at these haters with the words of behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley: Taking to animals is a sign of intelligence.

I talk to my pets every day, therefore I must be a freaking genius.

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Donald Trump Shouldn’t Intervene Militarily in Syria

“President Donald Trump is condemning the chemical attack in Syria that left 72 people dead as an `affront to humanity` that `cannot be tolerated.`”

CBS News

I agree with Donald Trump`s former part of his statement, but not the latter. A chemical attack that targets innocent civilians, including children, is an affront to humanity. But in the Muslim world affronts to humanity occur on a daily basis, and the United States doesn`t have the financial or military resources to intervene every time a massacre occurs in that part of the world where the Religion of Peace reigns supreme.

In Syria there are many competing factions, and each one commits atrocities on a regular basis to achieve their objectives. What difference does it make if civilians are butchered by chemical attacks, bombs dropped by fighter jets or car bombs?

Why do Americans automatically demand that the president take military action when chemical weapons are used? Trump was elected, in large part, because he preached a non-interventionist foreign policy. Trump`s supporters are trusting that he won`t lead America into another Iraq or Afghanistan.

To declare that the chemical attack cannot be tolerated implies that Trump intends to take military action against the regime of Syrian President Bashar Hafez al-Assad. Syria`s president is supported by Russia, Iran and Hezbollah, any American military action against al-Assad can quickly escalate into a world war.

Unfortunately, the Syrian government`s attack against its own civilian population must be tolerated, there`s nothing we can or should do to try to bring reason into a region of the world where people are blinded by their fanatical devotion to a blood-soaked religion.

Read More:
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/04/05/donald-trump-jordan-king-abdullah-iii/

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Barry Manilow Comes Out as Gay! Top Ten Reactions

“Barry Manilow has come out as gay publicly aged 73, and has spoken about his 40-year romance with manager husband Garry Kief.”

Gay Times

Duh!

Meh!

No, really?

I never would have guessed!

OMG! I couldn`t have been more surprised if Richard Simmons had come out of the closet!

Who cares!

You don`t need gaydar to figure out that shi*!

z z z z z z z

What a shock that a singer who got his start crooning at the gay bathhouse, Continental Baths, is gay!

Rolling eyes!

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Chimp at Zoo Throws Poo in Grandma’s Face to the Delight of the Crowd: Video

“A grandma left a Michigan zoo with an unexpected souvenir after being struck in the face by a ball of poop.
Video shared to YouTube by Jacob Mitchell shows a chimpanzee at John Ball Zoological Garden in Grand Rapids swaying back and forth in its enclosure before hurling the ball of feces up toward the crowd above.
`It got grandma,` one onlooker said.

Members of the crowd laughed as the a gray-haired woman in a wheelchair turned toward a camera as the chimp`s excrement hung from her nose.”

UPI

The sweet blue-haired grandma rocking on her front porch, greeting one and all with a smile and a fresh-baked cookie only exists in fairy tales and black and white movies.

chimp The old hags I`m familiar with all more likely to greet you with a wet fart than a smile, and they will hurl a string of expletives at you if you walk on their lawn.

Old people think they can get away with anything, and it truly warms our hearts when we see one of these decrepit souls get their comeuppance. “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” is a Christmas classic because the “drunk on eggnog old broad” got run over by a reindeer.

Visitors to a Michigan zoo were blessed with an unexpected treat when a chimp hurled a handful of crap at the crowd striking an old lady in a wheelchair right on the nose. “It got grandma” an onlooker shrieked in delight, and the crowd erupted in laughter.

The world is a cruel place and it seems that nothing good ever happens, that`s why we must never take these unexpected joyful moments for granted. God bless everyone is this tableau: The angry chimp, the delighted crowd, and even the hapless old lady.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/04/Chimpanzee-flings-poop-at-unsuspecting-grandma/5921491308634/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=8

Why Are Black Women Ashamed of Wearing Their Hair Natural? Michelle Obama Rocks the Natural Look!

“The White House released first lady Melania Trump`s official portrait on Monday. But a photo of her predecessor grabbed a lot of attention on the same day.

The chatter seems to have started with this tweet and undated photo of Michelle Obama wearing her hair natural.”

The Kansas City Star

Out of every 100 black women, 50 wear wigs and hair extensions, 49 have their hair in an unnatural state: Relaxed, straightened or blown out. Only one out of a hundred black women dare go out in public with their hair in its natural state.

Whenever a famous black woman sports a natural hairstyle it`s front page news, why are they so insecure about their hair? They would rather wear a ridiculous wig, witness Maxine Waters and her James Brown wig, or a blond wig, witness Beyoncé and her Becky with the Good Hair wig.

Black women, for the love of God stop using harsh chemicals to straighten your hair! Stop wearing cheap ass wigs that make you a laughing stock! Stop appropriating white culture by putting on Barbie blond wigs!

Michelle Obama looks marvelous in her natural hair. Black women, do you really need an old non-black blogger to tell you to keep shi* real, and be proud of your natural hair?

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Pic of Michelle Obama rocking her natural hair:

http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article142631664.html

White House Releases First Official Portrait of Melania Trump

“It is perhaps no surprise that first lady Melania Trump`s first official portrait is a glamour shot. The former model`s bio page on the White House website goes into great detail about her career in the field. The White House released the photo on Monday, with a simple press release stating that the photo was taken in the residence at the White House.”

NPR

Since Donald Trump assumed office Melania Trump has kept a very low profile, perhaps the White House released her first official portrait to remind us that she`s still the First Lady.

It`s not surprising that the former model has an affinity for soft lighting and airbrushing, there will never be an official photograph of the First Lady that hasn`t been airbrushed to death.

The official photograph features a giant diamond on her ring finger, most of the gazillion and one images of Melania online feature her impressive rack.

Melania`s story is America`s story, any humble immigrant with a photogenic face and an ample bosom can climb from the seedy world of soft core pornography to the corrupt White House.

God bless America and God bless Melania Trump.

Melania`s Official Portrait:

http://www.npr.org/2017/04/03/522465633/first-lady-melania-trump-gets-her-first-official-portrait

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Adorable Cats Ring Bell to Order Food: Video

“Two hungry cats gorged themselves on snacks by ringing a pair of call bells to have their owner produce treats. The cats tapped their paws on the button to produce a ringing sound and quickly devoured the treats placed in front of them.”
UPI

You`ve heard of “Pavlov`s dogs,” Pavlov had his canines well-trained to respond to stimuli.

These cats have their owners/servants well-trained to reward them with treats when they ring a bell.

My cats don`t ring a bell when they are hungry, they wake me up by walking on my face when it`s time for their breakfast. My pooch gives them a wide berth when they want to nibble on her food before they devour their own.

This video really rings my bell, I could watch it all day long.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEMjTtaTzB8

Donald Trump Still Tweeting About Hillary Clinton! Get Over It! You Won!

“President Donald Trump will meet this week meet with Egypt`s President Abel Fattah el-Sisi, Jordan`s King Abdullah, and China`s President Xi Jinping. This morning, Trump did not kick off the week with tweets about any of these meetings. Nor did Trump tweet about this week`s confirmation hearing for his Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch.”

Deadline.Com

The Leader of the Free World has three critical meetings with foreign leaders this week. Trump is scheduled to meet with our two most reliable Arab allies in the Middle East, we need the assistance of the Egyptian president and the Jordanian king in dealing with the intractable issues of the Palestinian/Israeli conflict and ISIS.

China is the only country in the world that has leverage over North Korea, it`s imperative that our commander-in-chief cultivate a relationship with China`s President Xi Jinping.

If the world plunges into a Nuclear Armageddon, the conflagration is going to start in the Middle East or the Korean peninsula, this week Trump should focus on these two international hot spots.

Instead of posting statements about his forthcoming meetings with these world leaders, Trump posted this tweet about Hillary Clinton:

Did Hillary Clinton ever apologize for receiving the answers to the debate? Just asking!

Nobody else is asking. You won the election, it`s high time to move on and start acting like a president.

Hillary is the worst presidential candidate in history and Trump is the worst president in history. The only way that Trump can even dream of achieving mediocrity president is by forgetting Hillary, and focusing on the job at hand.

Read More:

http://deadline.com/2017/04/donald-trump-tweet-hillary-clinton-1202059096/

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Bone Bone: Latest Adorable Kitty to Go Viral

“If you`ve been skulking around the strange bits of the internet recently, you,ve probably seen him: a giant, fluffy cat wearing a backpack and clinging to his owner.

Assorted excellent people on the internet have tracked down this cat and discovered his name is P`Bone. He also goes by Bone Bone, and is a fluffy cat living in Thailand.”

Metro

This kitty doesn`t need any accessories to accentuate his adorableness, he`s irresistible by virtue of the fact that he`s a fat fluffy cat.

This feline is so cool that the backpack doesn`t rob him of his dignity. I would never put a sweater on my cats or make them wear backpacks.

But I am dying of curiosity, what would a cat put in his backpack?

Dead mice to snack on.

Crunched up sheets of paper.

Kitty litter, emergency bathroom.

Shampoo and conditioner, he`s so freaking fluffy.

Smartphone, so he can communicate with his millions of online fans.

What do you think he has in his backpack, let me know!

Pics of the adorable fur ball: http://metro.co.uk/2017/04/01/meet-pbone-your-new-favourite-internet-cat-6547489/#ixzz4d7e0P9hG

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Donald Trump Mocks Chuck Todd’s ‘Sleepy Eyes’

“President Donald Trump went after Chuck Todd and NBC News on Saturday morning, asking when they will stop reporting on `the fake Trump/Russia story.`

`When will Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd and @NBCNews start talking about the Obama SURVEILLANCE SCANDAL and stop with the Fake Trump/Russia story,` the president tweeted.

Politico

When you have a mouth that resembles a sphincter, hair that looks like cotton candy that`s been dipped in urine, a facial complexion that an Ooompa Loompa would envy, Lilliputian hands, and the physique of a fat pig, it behooves you not to ridicule anyone`s physical appearance.

But Trump, like most bullies, doesn`t possess the intellect to criticize the ideas of his critics, so he attacks their physical appearance.

During the 2016 presidential campaign Trump famously mocked the disability of New York Times reporter Serge F. Kovaleski.

If Trump mocked a reporter`s disability, you know he wouldn`t be able to resist making fun of Chuck Todd`s sleepy eyes.

If Todd`s eyes appeared sleepy because he was high on crack, and drunk on cheap booze he would still be able to get the best of Trump in a battle of wits.

Trump would be well-advised to start Twitter feuds only with reprehensible creatures like Rosie O`Donnell.

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April Fools’ Day Every Day: Donald Trump is President of the United States

“Swedish and Norwegian newspapers announced on Friday that they would refrain from the tradition of publishing April Fools` Day jokes this year over fears that it might spread `fake news`.”

The Local SE

“Fake news is a type of hoax or deliberate spread of misinformation, be it via the traditional news media or via social media, with the intent to mislead in order to gain financially or politically.”

Wikipedia

On April Fools` Day respected publications have a tradition of publishing obviously fake news as an April Fools` Day joke.

But in an age when social media is saturated with fake news, reputable newspapers are refraining from their traditional April Fool`s Day tomfoolery.

November 8, 2016 when newspapers declared that Donald Trump won the election was the death of the tradition of newspapers publishing faux news on April Fools` Day. Real life has become more absurd than any April Fools` Day joke.

Today for April Fools` Day I could post an article alleging that Trump pulled out his tiny penis and challenged Chinese President Xi Jinping to do the same, confident that even he would be more well-endowed than any Asian. Tomorrow a video of Trump and Jinping comparing their tiny pricks might be the most popular video on YouTube.

Every day is April Fools` Day people, deal with it!

Read More:

https://www.thelocal.se/20170331/swedish-and-norwegian-newspapers-ditch-april-fools-due-to-fake-news

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1 in 3 Voters Give President Trump an ‘F’

“After more than two months in office, America`s new president, Republican Donald Trump, got a grade of F from 1 in 3 voters, according to a new McClatchy-Marist Poll.

By contrast, the same number graded predecessor Democrat Barack Obama`s performance a B as he approached his 100th day in office.”

McClatchy

Donald Trump is the class clown who inexplicably became the President of the United States, grading on a curve, or by any other method, I would give him a big fat “F.”

Usually a president enjoys a honeymoon period that lasts at least through his first 100 days in office. But to keep the honeymoon analogy going, if a virgin bride discovers that her husband has a micropenis, she`s going to immediately annul her marriage.

It didn`t take the electorate more than a New York Minute to realize that Trump is an ineffectual, incompetent, orange-complexioned piece of garbage.

Trump lost the popular vote by almost three million votes, he doesn`t have any political capital, he`s been a dead man walking since day one.

Only Trump diehards who voted for him in order to send a big “Fuc* You” message to the political establishment would give him a passing grade.

Read more here: http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/white-house/article141836529.html#storylink=cpy

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