Author: robertpaulreyes

Mike Johnson and His Teen Son Monitor Each Other’s Porn Usage! Freaks!

Since being elected Speaker of the House we’ve become aware of how much of an evangelical nutcase Mike Johnson is, but the latest revelation just boggles the mind.

The expose, via Rolling Stone magazine, is that of at least last year Johnson and his then 17-year-old son monitored each other’s online porn activity in an effort to ensure neither was giving in to temptation.

Johnson bragged about using “Covenant Eyes”, the Christian-created software that is supposed to stop anyone who subscribes to if from browsing porn web sites or looking at questionable images.

WTF? I know evangelicals engage in many creepy behaviors, but this takes the cake. Since time immemorial teenagers have sought to satisfy their curiosity about sex by getting their hands on any sexual matter: Playboy and Penthouse magazines in the 60’s and 70’s, hardcore online sex videos in the digital age.

From tablets to laptops to cell phones, the average teen owns several digital devices that they can use to access the internet, including porn sites. A horny teenager can circumvent Covenant Eyes, or any other software designed to monitor online porn activity.

Johnson’s teen son may allow his dad to install Covenant Eyes on his primary laptop, and he won’t even try to disable it or render it useless, because he can always enjoy porn on his other devices.

A normal dad would tell his young son: I know you’re looking at porn, the temptation is just too great for a normal teen with raging hormones. The human body is beautiful, but just remember that most porn dehumanizes, objectifies and debases women by reducing them to body orifices.

Only an evangelical freak who is afraid of human sexuality would coerce his son to install Covenant Eyes on his computer so they can monitor each other’s porn activity.

WWJD? Jesus would tell Mike Johnson: Listen, you wanker! Stop bringing ridicule to the religion that bears my name! Keep your weird religious practices to yourself!

Tim Scott Drops out of Presidential Race! Good Riddance!

“Tonight, I suspended my campaign for president. Traveling this country and meeting all of you has been of the most fantastic experiences of my entire life. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

Tim Scott announcing his suspending his presidential campaign on X, formerly known as Twitter.

Republican presidential hopeful Tim Scott abruptly announced that he was dropping out of 2024 race live on Fox News late Sunday, disappointing his dozens of supporters.

Scott had been trailing far behind in single digits in the race for the Republican presidential nomination, otherwise known as Donald Trump’s 2024 coronation extravaganza.

Scott’s gratuitous Uncle Tom smile will be sorely missed on the campaign trail by Republican conservatives who delight in exhibiting the only black Republican in the Senate as “proof” their party isn’t racist.

Scott, who never criticized Trump on the campaign trail, shouldn’t despair, certainly there’s always room in a Trump administration for a court jester, chief butler, or primary fluffer.

I wonder has the lifelong bachelor, who is widely believed to be gay, announced that he dropped out of the race to spend more time with his girlfriend, who made a brief appearance at the 3rd Republican debate?

I wonder who hates Scott more: African Americans who can’t stand Uncle Toms, Gays who have no respect for closeted Gay Republicans, Republicans who hate pretending that they like a black closeted gay Republican or regular Americans who hate wankers who are cursed with the kind of face that you just want to punch?

Ron DeSantis is Incapable of Smiling Naturally

Newsflash: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is not a natural politician. He’s not a Bill Clinton who loves kissing babies, making small talk with voters, and delivering a stump speech. For a Clinton smiling at an audience comes as naturally as winking at a White House intern or patting the behind of a Hooters’ waitress.

President Joe Biden may not remember what day of the week it is, but it’s still second nature for him to smile at a campaign rally, shake hands with voters, hug babies and sniff the hair of any little girl with the misfortune of being in his vicinity.

DeSantis is totally lacking in the rudimentary skills of a politician, he’s awkward, slimy and just plain weird. He is incapable of smiling naturally. He’s mastered the skill of imitating a bobble head, but every attempt at flashing a smile is an epic failure.

During every debate nobody pays any attention to his answers or his interactions with his fellow candidates; viewers are obsessed with wondering if he will finally be able to smile successfully. Every awkward attempt to smile ends with a grimace that’s guaranteed to hurt him at the polls.

Tuesday night DeSantis saved his most horrifying attempt at a smile for an interview after the debate. His faux smile included a flash of a tongue.

For the love of God, enough already. No smile is better than a fake smile. No smile is better than a creepy smile that makes you look like a rattlesnake smiling.

Who is More Repulsive: Hamas Terrorists, Corrupt Netanyahu or American Evangelicals?

In the Old Testament, Jehovah commands his people, the Israelites, to kill every single Amalekite:

“Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.”

This is a textbook case of genocide. The Almighty commands his people to slaughter an entire nation, down to the very last infant.

I will leave it to theologians and Bible scholars to argue whether God was justified in ordering the slaughter of an entire race, because they were evil, worshipped false gods, and ambushed the Israelites on their way to the promised land.

Christians and Jews consider the Old Testament not only Holy Scriptures, but also a record of historical events. Any rational person who reads the Old Testament as history will consider the slaughter of the Amalekites at the hands of the Israelites one of them most horrifying and brutal acts of genocide in the annals of history.

“You must ‘remember what Amalek has done to you,” Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu admonished on October 28, announcing the second phase, a ground invasion, of Israel’s war in Gaza.

Most Americans don’t know the Amalekites from the Klingons or the Borg, but the reference to the Amalekites resonates with American evangelicals who fetishize God’s chosen people, and demonize the Palestinians. They don’t draw any distinction between ordinary Palestinians who eschew terrorism and the Hamas terrorist organization, and they would be quite happy if the Palestinians were wiped off the face of the earth.

The Prime Minister of Israel and most evangelicals don’t think the Palestinians deserve their own homeland, and they have no empathy for their suffering.

Gone are the days when you can justify the genocide of a race of people because they don’t worship your deity. The Palestinians aren’t the Amalekites. They don’t deserve to be eradicated and bombed back to the Stone Age.

On October 7, 2023 the Hamas terrorists went Old Testament on Israeli civilians, murdering, raping, torturing and kidnapping them. Netanyahu wants to return the favor and take an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

In a world where cynical politicians use religion to manipulate people, and terrorists commit atrocities in the name of Allah, will reason, humanity and common sense prevail?

A Nuanced Look at the Israel Palestine Conflict

Since the inception of the latest explosion of violence between Israel and Hamas, American evangelicals have stridently supported Israel. They instinctively and automatically rush to Israel’s defense whenever Israel is attacked.

I condemn in no uncertain terms the October 7, 2023, Hamas terrorist attack on Israeli civilians. It’s beyond me how anyone can justify the rape, murder, mutilation and kidnapping of civilians, including children and babies.

And I accept that Israel has a right, indeed a duty, to respond to this atrocity be seeking to annihilate Hamas.

But Hamas isn’t synonymous with Palestine, Hamas enjoys the support of less than 50 percent of the population in Gaza, and the Palestinians in that enclave are as much victims of Hamas as are Israeli civilians.

Evangelicals see the Israeli Palestinian conflict in black and white terms, good vs evil, democracy vs terrorism. But the truth is more nuanced, Israel is an apartheid state where Israeli Palestinians face discrimination, and Palestinians in the West Bank live under military occupation and are treated like second-class citizens. As for Gaza it’s basically the world’s largest open-air prison.

Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is an indicted corrupt politician who entered into a coalition government with far-right racists in order to cling to power and avoid conviction and incarceration.

The Palestinian Authority that has nominal control of the West Bank under their Israeli overlords is politically corrupt and has never unequivocally denounced terrorism. If the Palestinian Authority wasn’t so corrupt, Hamas, Islamic Jihad and other terrorist groups wouldn’t enjoy so much support.

America must advocate for the rights of the Palestinians to their own homeland as much as we condemn terrorist attacks against Israel. We must be concerned about the innocent Palestinians in Gaza who are being killed by the Israeli war machine as much as we mourn the death of Israeli civilian at the hands of the Hamas monsters.

Mike Johnson the New Speaker of the House is a MAGA Extremist

The miraculous elevation of virtually unknown Rep. Mike Johnson, R-La to Speaker of the House has put his extremist views under the spotlight. His ultra-right voting record wasn’t vetted, examined or criticized until after his election.

It’s only now that most people, even people who follow politics closely, are realizing that the politician second in line to the presidency is a MAGA religious fanatic who is virulently anti-abortion, stridently anti-LGBTQ and a fundamentalist who believes in a literal interpretation of the myths, allegories and fantasies of the Old Testament.  This mild-mannered gentleman was the chief architect of the nefarious plan to overturn the 2020 presidential election.

This MAGA extremist has until now remained under the radar because he looks like an accountant or a middle school teacher, unlike fellow radical conservatives like Jim Jordan, Andy Biggs and Steve Scalise who look reptilian and are physically repulsive.

Whereas Jordan, Biggs, Scalise et al shout and scream, Johnson delivers his noxious rhetoric in the measured tones of a Sunday School teacher.

Already Republicans are coming to his defense with the ridiculous claim that the media are exaggerating or misrepresenting his voting record. It’s all fake news, nothing to see here, just another conservative Republican vilified by the media and the so-called deep state.

Don’t be fooled by Johnson’s easy-going manner and polite demeanor, If Trump wins the election, and Johnson remains as Speaker of the House, this evil duo will turn our democracy into a White Christian Nationalist theocracy.

Trump Wants to Deny Entry to Immigrants Who Don’t Like ‘Our Religion’

“Speaking to Republican voters in Derry, New Hampshire, on Monday, former President Donald Trump promised ‘strong ideological screening’ of all immigrants if he’s elected president again—and said he’d turn away those who ‘don’t like our religion.’ ‘We don’t want you in our country,’ he said.”

Vice.Com

Donald Trump knows that his xenophobic anti-immigrant rhetoric will resonate with his MAGA base of white evangelicals, QAnon conspiracy theorists, and trailer park rednecks.

White evangelicals believe that America is a Christian nation, and they are on a crusade to corrupt our democracy into a White Christan nationalist theocracy, and they are persuaded that Trump is the messiah who will turn their racist dreams into reality.

Unlike England America doesn’t have a constitutionally established state religion, and it’s anathema to imply that Christianity is our religion. The Constitution explicitly prohibits the establishment of a state religion, and in our ethnically and religiously diverse democracy there’s people of many faiths and no faith.

To screen immigrants on the basis of whether or not they have an affinity for Christianity is so undemocratic that is just boggles the mind. Considering that historically religion is responsible for genocide, slavery, racism and wars, I can certainly understand why people wouldn’t like Christianity or any other major religion.

Trump has promised to resurrect his Muslim ban if he wins the presidential election. Trump’s racist rhetoric may succeed in firing up his base, but I’m convinced it will alienate the majority of freedom-loving Americans and result in his defeat.

I Hope the Election Doesn’t Come Down to a Choice Between Old Fool Biden or Old Felon Trump

Andrew Stein, a long-time supporter of Donald Trump, has turned his back on him, and now he is backing Nicky Haley. In an editorial for the Wall Street Journal, he wrote that he is “worried the election would come down to a choice between an old felon and an old fool.”

If the election is once again between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, our democracy is irrevocably broken. How in the world can two successive presidential elections come down to a choice between the same two men, who are manifestly unfit to be president of the world’s greatest democracy?

“An old felon and an old fool”, perfectly describes these two old geezers who don’t have any business being anywhere near the vicinity of the White House.

If Trump wins the election, it’s very likely he will be an old felon by inauguration day, considering he faces 91 felony counts for trying to subvert democracy, falsifying business records and risking national security secrets.

Dementia has rendered Biden an old fool who is incapable of stringing two sentences together or finding his way off a stage after delivering an incoherent speech.  I imagine that by inauguration day 2025 he will be unable to walk without a walker and he won’t be able to deliver his inauguration speech without soiling his diapers.

Who am I voting for the old fool or the old felon? First of all, Biden at 81 and Trump at 77 are both suffering from severe cognitive decline. Biden is too old to be president, and he’s an old fool, but at least he’s a good person. Mr. Magoo Biden may accidentally press the red button and start World War III, but Trump may deliberately press the nuclear button because he’s such an evil sociopath.

I hope and pray Biden will change his mind and not run for reelection, so I won’t have to vote for the old fool over the old felon.

Idiot Lauren Boebert Misspells Main Town in her ‘Thoughts and Prayers’

“Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) made an unforced error Wednesday night when she sent out a ‘thoughts and prayers’ tweet to the victims of the mass shootings in Lewiston, Maine.

Boebert’s post was short, reading, ‘Sending prayers to Lewistown, Maine tonight. Know that the entire country is praying for you.’”

Yahoo News

Evangelicals’ default response to any natural disaster, terrorist atrocity or mass killing is to offer “thoughts and prayers”. After expressing this trite sentiment, they focus their attention to their everyday religious duties of demonizing the LGBT community, ostracizing immigrants and fluffing their messiah, Donald Trump.

The thoughts and prayers of the average evangelical are as efficacious as farts and belches, and they only serve to darken the mood of a community stricken with a senseless tragedy.

But the thoughts and prayers of Boebert, who owned a restaurant called “Shooters Grill” that fetishized guns and featured gun toting servers, are especially repugnant.

The dimwit couldn’t even spell correctly the name of the town beset with tragedy, it’s Lewiston not Lewistown.

I doubt the Almighty reads Twitter, but if He did, I’m sure he’s thinking: Bitch, please. Just shut the fuck up!

Joe Biden Must be Replaced as the 2024 Democratic Presidential Nominee by Any Means Necessary

About a year out from the 2024 election President Joe Biden is a dead man walking. Most voters have serious reservations that the physically frail and cognitively challenged octogenarian will last another year, let alone have the energy to mount a successful reelection campaign.

Biden’s approval ratings are in the gutter, the economy is in serious decline, and the world is on the verge of the apocalypse. Americans aren’t going to reelect a commander-in-chief whose finger is too shaky to press the nuclear button if God forbid the near arises.

In head-to-head polls against the twice-impeached, four-times indicted, failed insurrectionist former President Donald Trump, Biden is in a dead heat at best. Yet Biden who resembles the cartoon character Mr. Magoo come to life is oblivious to reality and is convinced he’s going to win.

The befuddled Biden doesn’t realize that the election isn’t going to be a referendum on the former president Trump, it’s going to be a referendum on his administration.

Trump’s supporters don’t care that he is an amoral sociopath with delusions of grandeur, they will vote for their Dear Leader even if he announces that he’s the Antichrist. And voters who aren’t members of the Trump cult will consider the sorry state of the economy, Biden’s advanced age, the sky-high crime rate and the immigration crisis when considering the election.

Trump will probably beat Biden even if he’s convicted and sentenced to prison. Joe Biden must be replaced as the Democratic presidential nominee, by any means necessary.

House Republicans in a Circle Jerk While the World is on Fire

Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy was unceremoniously ousted by a handful of MAGA congressmen not for the crime of being corrupt or incompetent, but because he committed the unpardonable sin of reaching a bipartisan deal to avoid a government shutdown, which would have devasted our fragile economy.

It was the first time that the House of Representatives had voted out its Speaker. In the weeks since Republicans, who resemble the Keystone Kops on crack, have been unable to elect a new Speaker, paralyzing the House. Left to their own devices Republican congresspersons would spend all their time in a circle jerk, pleasuring themselves before a portrait of their messiah, Donald Trump, instead of legislating and doing the job they were elected to perform.

American government is a dumpster fire; indeed, the whole world is on fire, and we need the House open for business so they can address Russia’s war on Ukraine and the Israel/Hamas war before the world ends with a big bang.

In this critical juncture in world history, a stumbling and bumbling, incoherent and incomprehensible, President Joe Biden traveled to Israel to assert his role as Leader of the Free World. Yeah, right.

I’m not waiting for the Rapture to rapture me out of this evil and crazy world, but I am pleading with Scotty to beam me the hell out of here. There’s got to be intelligent life somewhere out there.

Violence Perpetuated by Both Hamas and Israel Must End

Evangelicals are besotted with the nation of Israel; they view the Jewish state through the prism of Jehovah’s promise to Abraham:

“I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

Evangelicals consider it an article of faith to defend Israel unreservedly, and they consider anyone who criticizes Israel emissaries of Satan.

Evangelicals rallied support for Israel after Hamas terrorists invaded the border area and indiscriminately killed, raped, kidnapped and tortured innocent civilians.

Mainline protestant denominations expressed more nuanced statements calling for an end to violence perpetuated by both Hamas and Israel.

My thinking is more in line with the mainline protestant denominations. I unequivocally condemn the barbaric attack on innocent Israeli civilians by sadistic Islamic terrorists, but from a 30,000 feet perspective I have as much sympathy for the Palestine population as I do for the Israeli victims of Islamic rage.

It’s not antisemitic or unchristian to criticize the racist policies of the corrupt Netanyahu and his coalition government riddled with racists and homophobes.

The modern state of Israel isn’t a paradise where Jewish citizens and Israeli Arabs live in perfect harmony. Israel is a racist an apartheid state where Palestinians living in Israel face systemic racism and Palestinians living in the West Bank are treated like prisoners. Gaza is the world’s largest open-air prison, Israel tightly controls the flow of goods and people in and out of enclave, and maintains an air and naval blockade on the territory.

Christians should pray for the peace of Jerusalem, but they most also pray for freedom for the Palestinians. Yes, Hamas must be destroyed, but the apartheid system in Israel must also be destroyed.

The endless cycle of violence will only end when Palestinians achieve autonomy via a two-state solution or another way.

Robert DeNiro: Trump is a Punk, a Dog, A Pig, a Con

When Donald Trump ran for president in 2016 Robert DeNiro warned us: “He’s so blatantly stupid. He’s a punk. He’s a dog. He’s a pig. A con. A bullshit artist. A mutt who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

America didn’t heed DeNiro’s warning and the psychopath won and presided over four years of chaos, corruption, criminality and crookedness. Two impeachments, four indictments, and a failed coup later and we still can’t get rid of the steaming pile of human shit, and currently he is well on his way to being coronated the Republican nominee for president in 2024.

On Wednesday DeNiro warned us about Trump once again:

“This guy tries to be a gangster, but he can’t quite pull it off … he’s a wannabe tough guy with no morals or ethics. No sense of right or wrong. No regard for anyone but himself – not the people he was supposed to lead and protect, not the people he does business with, not the people who follow him, blindly and loyally, not even the people who consider themselves his friends. He has contempt for all of them.”

When speaking of Trump, we must echo DeNiro’s prophetic style, and forego nuance and subtlety and denounce the moral degenerate in the strongest way possible.

Keep in mind that Trump is a petty, vindictive and vicious tyrant who engages in pro hominem attacks against anyone with the temerity to criticize his unlawful behavior, so don’t hesitate to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Trump is a modern-day Hitler, and nobody uses diplomatic language to describe the German madman, we rightly condemn him as a genocidal monster. We shouldn’t mince words in explaining why electing Trump would be a disaster.

Trump is physically repulsive: his hair looks like cotton candy that was soaked in urine, his mouth resembles a sphincter, his piercing raccoon eyes are terrifying, his orange complexion is disturbing, his double chin is grotesque, his tiny hands are alarming, and his mushroom-shaped tiny pecker is enough to turn every woman into a lesbian.

He is morally reprehensible: he’s a sociopath who’s incapable of empathy, but unlike most sociopaths he doesn’t even pretend to care about anyone but himself. He’s a pathological liar who lies as a matter of course to advance his selfish agenda.

He’s intellectually inferior: to quote DeNiro, “he’s blatantly stupid.” Stupid is as stupid does, and he is constantly saying stupid things, and doing stupid stuff. He is the epitome and embodiment of stupidity.

DeNiro has a long and distinguished career playing mobsters and criminals, if anyone can recognize a moral degenerate it’s the award-wining thespian. For the love of God heed his words, and vote for whoever runs against him in the general election.

Don’t Expect Trump’s Base to Ever Realize He’s a Steaming Pile of Dung

The default condition of most people is to distrust politicians, preachers, used car salespersons and prostitutes; these less than noble professions employ deceit as a way of doing business.

We aren’t fazed when a politician or a minister is caught in a scandal, especially if it involves a sex worker.

When a candidate fails to keep their campaign promises when they win, I’m not heartbroken because I realize they are inherently duplicitous.

You wouldn’t expect this cynical generation to idolize any politician. Even an eloquent, handsome and youthful politician like John F. Kennedy wouldn’t be treated like a rock star. In today’s world with ubiquitous surveillance cameras, multitudes of cable news outlets and scores of podcasts stars and social media reporters he wouldn’t be able to keep his affairs with movie stars and mob dolls hidden.

So why the fuck is Donald Truck who’s uglier than a toad, more stupid than a rock and as inarticulate as a punch-drunk boxer treated like a god by his supporters? After all, we’re talking about a twice-impeached, quadruple indicted, pathological liar who has been found guilty of sexual assault in a civil trial.

Trump enjoys cult-like popularity because his base of white evangelical supporters and QAnon whack jobs are a cult, and he is their messiah and they regard every nonsensical utterance that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth as the Gospel truth.

Every time Trump makes a statement I take it with a grain of salt, and believe him as much as when a used car salesman tells me that the hooptie he sold me is in cherry condition or when a hooker tells me that she’s never seen a bigger dong than mine.

But Trump’s followers are enthralled with their Dear Leader, and they believe that he is incapable of lying. If a tape of Trump having sex with an underage girl was leaked, his sycophants would believe him if he said she was an angel who came down from heaven to minister to his earthly needs.

Bottom line: don’t expect Trump’s base to realize that their god is a steaming pile of human shit!

Israel, Hamas and American White Evangelicals

The white Evangelical movement in America supports the nation of Israel blindly and without any reservations. They castigate anyone who condemns the racists policies of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as anti-God liberals and communists.

Benjamin Netanyahu, the Prime Minister of Israel, is a deeply flawed politician who has been indicted for breach of trust and accepting bribes. In his new term as prime minister, he formed a coalition government with virulent racists and homophobes like Itamar Ben-Gvir and Bezalel Smotrich.

White evangelicals compare the racist and corrupt Netanyahu to King David, just like they compare the racist and corrupt Donald Trump to Jesus Christ.

These religious fundamentalists view everything through the prism of evangelical eschatology. They believe the establishment of the modern state of Israel in 1948 was a fulfillment of Biblical prophecy and the establishment of Jewish settlements in the West Bank God’s will.

Evangelicals salivated over the brutal attack of Hamas on Israeli military and civilians, because they view it as a sign of the End Times. They are secretly hoping that the Hamas atrocity will trigger Iran, Syria and Lebanon to attack Israel and usher in the Apocalypse.

I unequivocally condemn the Hamas terrorists’ attack on civilians; the rape and murder of civilians and taking them as hostages are war crimes and sins against humanity. The sins of the apartheid state of Israel in no way, shape or form can justify these atrocities.

Americans can condemn the barbaric actions of Hamas and at the same time condemn the way Israel inhumanely treats Palestinians as second-class citizens.

I long for the end of terrorism by Hamas as much as I long for an end to the oppression of the Palestinians at the hands of the Jewish state.

Is it Appropriate to Drink Coffee During a Church Service?

“A post by Pastor John Piper of Minnesota on Saturday, Sept. 30, has sparked a heated debate about the appropriateness of drinking coffee during Sunday church services.

‘Can we reassess whether Sunday coffee-sipping in the sanctuary fits?’ asked Piper on X, formerly known as Twitter.”

AOL.Com

“Americans’ membership in houses of worship continued to decline last year, dropping below 50% for the first time in Gallup’s eight-decade trend. In 2020, 47% of Americans said they belonged to a church, synagogue or mosque, down from 50% in 2018 and 70% in 1999.”

Gallup.Com

The decline in evangelical church membership can be attributed in large part to evangelicals’ obsession with conspiracy theories and avoidance of the crucial issues of climate change, racism and the rights of sexual and religious minorities. Is it any wonder that Gen Zers are deserting the churches of their parents and grandparents?

Evangelicals fail to address the existential threats of our generation; they’d rather opine as to the appropriateness of drinking coffee during Sunday church services.

Let me put in my two cents worth, and declare that drinking coffee during a church service is appropriate and indeed necessary, for the following reasons:

Too many pastors are enamored with the sound of their own voices and they drone on and on, oblivious to the fact that many congregants are dozing off. A strong cup of joe is vital for keeping awake during a long church service.

Pastors not only take an offering during every church service, but they also plead for donations for various causes: church building fund, missionary support … It’s a nice when a church gives you something, even if it’s just a cup of Java, instead of constantly begging for support.

Most people associate drinking coffee with pleasant activities like enjoying a delicious breakfast or taking a coffee break during a tedious work day. Sipping coffee during a pastor’s sermon might improve peoples attitude toward attending a church service.

Bottom line: it’s always a good thing to drink coffee, anytime and anywhere.

Evangelicals Believe Emergency Alert Will Trigger Zombie Apocalypse

QAnon otherwise known as MAGA, or the white evangelical movement discovers a new conspiracy theory every time Trump farts or belches.  

White evangelicals are just as likely to cite a fringe web site as quote a Bible verse out of context to support their batshit crazy conspiracy theories.

The crazier the conspiracy theory the more they are convinced it’s true. We shouldn’t be surprised at the gullibility and stupidity of these wingnuts, after all they believe in the Rapture, a controversial theological belief that Jesus will snatch true believers and meet with them in the air, before He unleashes Armageddon.

FEMA and Federal Communications Commission are conducting tests of the Emergency Alert System and Wireless Emergency Alerts on Oct. 4 at 2:20pm ET. The message directed to all consumer cell phones will consist of a simple message:

 “THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed.”

Normal citizens will at the most be annoyed by the emergency alert, after all we are bombarded with dozens of alerts every year, be they Amber Alerts, tornado, flash flood or hurricane alerts.

MAGA nuts are convinced that the emergency alert will trigger the Zombie Apocalypse. This tweet by Gina Shirah is representative of the millions of posts warning us to take actions to protect ourselves, such as covering our phones with tin foil:

“Turn off your cell phones on October 4th. The EBS is going to test the system using 5G. This will activate the Marburg virus in people who have been vaccinated. This will sadly turn some of them into zombies.”

Millions of evangelicals wearing MAGA red hats aren’t going to meet the Lord in the air, and zombies aren’t going to wreak havoc on October the 4th. I’ve had seven COVID shots and on October 4th I plan on having my cell phone next to be ear at 2:20.

Republicans Consider Trump More of a ‘Person of Faith’ than Biden, Pence or Any Other Republican Candidate

“Former Vice President Mike Pence is a born-again, evangelical Christian who roots his political ideology in his faith and frequently quotes the Bible on the campaign trail. President Joe Biden is, by all accounts, a devout Catholic and attends mass virtually every week.

But according to a recent poll, more Republicans view former President Donald Trump as a ‘person of faith’ than they do Biden, Pence or any other 2024 GOP presidential hopeful.”

Spectrum News

Allow me to preface my essay be unequivocally stating that being a “person of faith” doesn’t make a candidate a better person. I don’t care if a candidate is nominally religious, devoutly religious or a nonbeliever, that is not a criteria that I use in deciding who’s the best person for the office.

The evangelical Republican base places a high premium on a candidate’s allegiance to Jesus Christ and the Bible. Mike Pence wears his faith on his sleeve, every sentence he utters include a noun, a verb and an allusion to Jesus. How an evangelical can believe that the serial sexual predator, pathological liar and sociopath Donald Trump, who’s never claimed to be an evangelical, is more of a person of faith than Pence is beyond my understanding.

Joe Biden may not be an evangelical, but he’s a devout Catholic who attends mass every week, and always carries rosary beads with him. Surely, it should be apparent to even the most dim-witted MAGA true believer that Biden is more religious than Trump.

Trump embraces white evangelicals without embracing evangelical Christianity strictly out of expediency, he realizes they are the most loyal part of his base, and will stand by him come hell or high water.

Democratic Senator Bernie Sanders denies he’s an atheist, but he probably is one, he states that he “isn’t actively involved in organized religion.” The non-religious Sanders has more integrity in his pinkie finger than a sanctimonious politician like Mike Pence has in his whole body. I would vote for him over a devout Catholic like Biden, or an evangelical zealot like Mike Pence.

Evangelicals who make a mockery of their faith deserve an amoral buffoon like Donald Trump, may they rot in hell.

Internet Demands Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Removal from Congress After She Prays for End to Abortion

“US Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, or as she is infamously known as MTG, recently asked her followers on X, formerly known as Twitter, to join her in praying for an end to abortion.

MTG represents Georgia’s 14th Congressional District, and after her tweet advocating the end of abortion, the Internet has called for her to be removed from Congress.”

MSN

A politician praying is an incongruous as a prostitute advocating for abstinence or an Islamist extremist appealing for ecumenical unity. When a politician prays it exposes their hypocrisy and cheapens their faith, they claim to believe in.

MTG is your quintessential evangelical hypocrite, her profane, venial and racist behavior is in stark contrast to the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.

Whenever MTG or any of her ilk pray, I think to myself: Oh, shut the fuck up, your toxic farts are more likely to reach heaven than your poisonous prayers.

In praying for an end to abortion, what MTG is really praying for is an end to women’s sovereignty over their own bodies.

When evangelicals were calling for an end to Roe, they argued that the issue should be left to the states, but after Roe was overturned by the Supreme Court they changed their tune, and they are now demanding for a federal ban on abortion.

In MTG’s state of Georgia, abortion is prohibited after the sixth week, but she won’t be happy until the whole country has to suffer under restrictive abortion laws.

The internet lambasted MTG’s abortion tweet, and I will join the choir and pray that she will be removed from Congress, or better yet, just drop dead.

Joe Biden Doesn’t Have the Cognitive Ability to Take Care of Commander, the White House Dog

“US President Joe Biden’s dog Commander bit a Secret Service agent on Monday, the 11th such incident in a year, according to NBC News. The two-year-old purebred German Shepherd bit a female officer of the Uniformed Division and she was treated by the White House medical office.”

NDTV

I own a pit bull, a breed that is often lumped together with German Shepherds and Doberman Pinchers as dangerous, but dogs aren’t inherently violent or dangerous and if a canine bites a person, blame the owner not the animal.

I walk Princess every day around my neighborhood, and children call her out by name, and pet her. I pamper my pooch to death and that enhances her natural friendly disposition and she spreads good cheer throughout my neighborhood.

If my pet bit eleven persons within a year, I would have 11 lawsuits, a neighborhood up in arms and animal control would have confiscated her and put her to death.

There is one standard of the law for the rich and powerful and another for the poor and powerless. Almost nobody, Republican or Democrat is calling out Joe Biden for maintaining an unsafe working environment.

Assuming the cognitively impaired commander-in-chief is aware that he has a pet dog in the White House, he is a cruel tyrant for keeping an animal who has a penchant for biting Secret Service Agents, the very individuals who risk their lives to protect him and his family.

It’s time for Commander to be handed over to an individual or family with the time and inclination to teach him discipline and shower him with love. Biden doesn’t have the cognitive ability to take care of a goldfish, let alone a dog.

Save Our Democracy: Don’t Vote for Senile Politicians Like Joe Biden, Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell

“The latest cover of The New Yorker magazine depicts some of America’s most powerful political leaders in a footrace, but not exactly in the top athletic form they’d probably be hoping for. President Joe Biden, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), and former President Donald Trump are all racing for the finish line — with the assistance of walkers.”

Mediaite

Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump represent a gerontocracy that is killing our democracy. These old crows still imagine they’re spring chickens and they don’t have the decency, common sense and humility to step aside for a younger generation.

President Joe Biden, 80, is prone to losing his balance, and he really needs a walker and a nurse to point him in the right direction. Biden is physical fragile, cognitively-challenged, and it’s an egregious case of elder abuse that his staff and family haven’t forced him to face reality and resign or at least promise not to run for reelection.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, 81, has a history of suffering freezing spells, and he could also use a walker to prevent him from falling again. McConnell has been in the Senate since 1985 and he has served as Senate Majority Leader since 2021, it’s time that he passed on the baton to a member of a younger generation. He should resign from the Senate or at least step down as Majority Leader.

Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is 83, and she recently announced she’s running for reelection. Pelosi has a remarkable career that culminated in her being elected as House Speaker, she doesn’t have anything left to prove and she should humbly and gracefully declare that she’s changed her mind and isn’t running for reelection.

Former President Donald Trump, 77 shouldn’t run for president because of his advanced age, and there’s also the issue that a fascist racist who tried to steal an election doesn’t deserve to return to power.

We think of Baby Boomers as being older than dirt, but it’s important to realize that the aforementioned fossils belong to an even older generation.

Members of this geriatric generation are mostly white and mostly male and for them white privilege means that they can stay in power for as long as they want even though old age has rendered them mentally feeble and physically frail.

These physically decrepit and cognately impaired politicians aren’t going to gracefully retire, it’s incumbent upon voters of both parties to vote them out of office.

Sen. Tim Scott Says He’s Dating a ‘Lovely Christian Girl’, Yeah, Right

South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott is the quintessential Uncle Tom; he has the requisite ingratiating smile, the automatic deference to any white person in his vicinity and a subservient demeanor.

He is every prominent Republican’s best black friend; they can’t get enough of his coonery and buffoonery. Of course, he’s anathema to Democrats who don’t expect blacks who belong to their party to be emasculated.

I think it’s a safe bet to assume that Scott is not a fan of hip hop, I can see him tap dancing to old timey Negro spirituals. He probably has to constantly remind himself to refer to African Americans as people of color and not colored people.

Scott proved his Uncle Tom bona fides during the Trump administration by standing by him during photo ops, and looking at his master with pride and reverence.

Scott is the GOP’s perfect black candidate, so why is he stuck in single digits in the polls? I think it’s because Republicans assume that the 57-year-old bachelor is as gay as all get-out. They may vote for a black man who knows his place, but not for a candidate who is black and gay.

Scott said last weekend that he is “dating a lovely Christian girl,” as he addressed a large group of influential voters of faith in Iowa, where evangelicals dominate the GOP base.

Bitch, please! Why hasn’t this “lovely Christian girl” campaigned with him? Never mind “where’s Waldo?”, where the hell is this lovely Christian girl?

Scott needs to take pride in his black heritage, and stop shucking and jiving to please the white GOP electorate. He should sashay out of the closet and live his best gay life.

Thousands Who Identify as Dogs Meet in Germany! Bitch, Please!

“An estimated 1,000 people who prefer to be recognized as not humans, but canines, organized a gathering at the Berlin Potsamer Platz railroad station in Germany, communicating only by howling or barking at one another.”

The New York Post

Folks may have a bone to pick for pointing out that this story illustrates that the world has gone to the dogs, but in my defense this story is custom-made for bad puns.

People have a right to identify as dogs, cats, monkeys or goldfish, but don’t expect me to pander to their delusions by greeting them with a “who’s a good boy?”

A pack of weirdos who think they are canines gathering at a railroad station and communicating by howling or barking at one another is patently absurd, but it’s also deeply offensive. Call me a misanthrope but I believe that pooches are superior to human beings, doggies could teach us a thing or two about loyalty, bravery and possessing a good-natured spirit.

Evangelicals the likes of Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Franklin Graham and Lauen Boebert think they will go to heaven because they’ve accepted Jesus as their Savior. But if these sanctimonious assholes really end up in heaven, and if there are no puppies in paradise, I’d rather spend eternity in hell with Satan and the hounds of hell. Heaven without dogs is hell. Period. End of story.

These cretins are guilty of disturbing the peace, somebody should call animal control and have them muzzled, and for good measure spayed and neutered.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Demands Etiquette & Respect in Congress! Bitch, Please!

“The Senate no longer enforcing a dress code for Senators to appease Fetterman is disgraceful.

Dress code is one of society’s standards that set etiquette and respect for our institutions.

Stop lowering the bar!”

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene

Considering that Sen. John Fetterman looks like Uncle Fester after an electroshock treatment, it would behoove him to dress conservatively to offset his terrifying physical appearance.

But the senator wears his signature dark hoody and ratty gym shorts even in the hallowed halls of the Senate.

Majority Leader Chuck Schumer discretely ordered the chamber’s Seargeant at Arms to no longer enforce the Senate’s dress code, apparently to accommodate Fetterman.

I would understand if some of the senior statesmen in Congress objected to Schumer relaxing the dress code, but the last congressperson I would have expected to object is Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene. The firebrand representative from Georgia complaining about lack of etiquette and respect for institutions is like Rep. George Santos complaining about lack of honesty and integrity in Congress. Let’s not forget that this is the same congresswoman who displayed a huge poster of Hunter Biden’s penis in a house hearing. Respect for institutions? Where was her respect for Congress when she yelled at President Joe Biden during his State of the Union address? If she had respect for the sanctity of the Senate, she would not be lionizing the January 6 insurrectionists who ransacked Congress.

The insult-hurling, publicity whore and drama queen can shut the hell up. If Fetterman’s lack of cognitive ability led him to mistake a flower vase in the Senate for a urinal and he relieved himself, it wouldn’t compare to the damage that Greene has done to Congress with her unhinged and unethical behavior.

Mike Pence: ‘I’m Running to Win’

“Romney, who announced earlier in the day that he would not be seeking reelection in the Beehive State, told The Washington Post in an interview ahead of his announcement that ‘I don’t think [Pence] has … any delusions that he’s going to become the nominee.’

‘I think he’s running for other reasons. One, to repair his legacy. … What he’s saying is important to be said. … I’m glad he’s running and saying those things. I respect that,’ Romney added.”

The Hill

Donald Trump’s doll hands have an iron grip on the Republican presidential nomination, according to the latest Quinnipiac poll he has 62 percent support, followed by Ron DeSantis at 12 percent and everybody else, including Mike Pence, is in single digits.

Trump is the King and the Republican nomination process is a coronation, as evidenced by the fact that all of the contenders, with the exception of Asa Hutchinson, Chris Christie and Will Hurd are acting like his publicity agents instead of adversaries.

Most of the GOP presidential candidates realize they don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, they’re just hoping that Trump will appoint them to an important role in his court, perhaps as Royal Jester or Chief Fluffer.

Pence is somewhere in the middle, he isn’t a Trump fluffer, but the only time he condemns Trump is when he criticizes him for ordering him to overturn the election results on January 6, 2021.

When Pence was asked about Romney’s comments he replied:

“I’m running for president of the United States because I think this country’s in a lot of trouble, and I’m running to win.”

I concur with Romney, Pence knows the he isn’t going to win, Trump’s MAGA base would rather hang him than vote for him.

If Pence is running to repair his legacy, then it’s incumbent upon him to go full Chris Christie and rip apart Trump’s corrupt behavior while in office and his despicable behavior in trying to overturn the election.