Only These 5 Things Will Prevent Biden from Running for Reelection

Biden

President Biden has been hinting for weeks that he will soon be announcing that he’s running for reelection. In spite of the fact that the octogenarian Leader of the Free World has one foot in the grave, and the other one on a banana peel, he will probably announce his candidacy shortly after he delivers the State of the Union Speech.

Biden is as stubborn as he is senile, and he won’t tolerate anyone walking on his front lawn, sitting on his favorite chair or trying to dissuade him from running for reelection.

These are the only things that will make Biden change his mind about running for reelection:

The FBI rummages through the ho bag of one of Hunter Biden’s prostitute pals and discovers a toothbrush, mints, a switchblade, semen-encrusted thongs, rubbers and classified documents.

It’s discovered that Biden plagiarized his State of the Union Address from Barack Obama, or that he wrote it with the help of ChatGPT app.

Biden sniffs the hair of Kamala Harris during a photo op and gleefully declares that she smells better than Pam Grier, Beyonce, Corn Pop’s girlfriend and Hunter’s favorite black stripper.

After delivering a speech, as is his wont, Biden shakes the hand of an imaginary friend, but this time he outdoes himself by patting the butt of another, and French kissing a third.

Biden accidentally swallows his dentures while delivering a speech, Jill performs the Heimlich maneuver, and his dentures fly out of his mouth striking a little girl in the eye, and blinding her.

For the love of God, I hope one of these things will happen to prevent the calamity of a second Biden administration.

Why Should We Have to Choose Between Two Senile Septuagenarians? To Hell With Trump and Biden!

People who haven’t been paying close attention to the Democratic presidential race remember Joe Biden as the goofy, gaffe prone and affable career politician who played the part of an elder stateman in contrast to the vibrant and young Barack Obama.

Most of us would have enjoyed drinking a beer and discussing 1970 American muscle cars with circa 2008 Biden, but the current iteration of Biden bears little resemblance to the Biden who palled around with Obama.

Biden’s behavior in this primary has been bizarre, erratic, disturbing and dare I say it, Trumpian? The deer in the headlights Biden is a disaster on the debate stage: he meanders into bizarre tangents, struggles to keep his dentures in place, and fights an epic battle to keep from stuttering. When he interacts with voters he veers from creepily familiar to wildly aggressive.

What do you do with the crazy uncle in the attic when you have guests over for dinner? You either tie him to his bed or pray that he won’t come down and spoil the festivities. Is it any wonder that Biden’s handlers have severely limited his campaign appearances and restricted his access to the press?

The electorate is desperate for a return to normalcy and respectability after four years of the chaos, corruption, and criminality of the Trump administration. Biden is as far from normalcy and respectability as a wilted head of cabbage and stale crackers are from a prime steak and lobster dinner. Voters aren’t going to exchange one weird-ass septuagenarian for another weird-ass septuagenarian.