President Biden has been hinting for weeks that he will soon be announcing that he’s running for reelection. In spite of the fact that the octogenarian Leader of the Free World has one foot in the grave, and the other one on a banana peel, he will probably announce his candidacy shortly after he delivers the State of the Union Speech.

Biden is as stubborn as he is senile, and he won’t tolerate anyone walking on his front lawn, sitting on his favorite chair or trying to dissuade him from running for reelection.

These are the only things that will make Biden change his mind about running for reelection:

The FBI rummages through the ho bag of one of Hunter Biden’s prostitute pals and discovers a toothbrush, mints, a switchblade, semen-encrusted thongs, rubbers and classified documents.

It’s discovered that Biden plagiarized his State of the Union Address from Barack Obama, or that he wrote it with the help of ChatGPT app.

Biden sniffs the hair of Kamala Harris during a photo op and gleefully declares that she smells better than Pam Grier, Beyonce, Corn Pop’s girlfriend and Hunter’s favorite black stripper.

After delivering a speech, as is his wont, Biden shakes the hand of an imaginary friend, but this time he outdoes himself by patting the butt of another, and French kissing a third.

Biden accidentally swallows his dentures while delivering a speech, Jill performs the Heimlich maneuver, and his dentures fly out of his mouth striking a little girl in the eye, and blinding her.

For the love of God, I hope one of these things will happen to prevent the calamity of a second Biden administration.