Month: April 2017

Dad Kills Son Over Who Would Walk the Dog

“A family argument over who would walk the dog turned deadly when a dad shot and killed his son during a wild shootout Sunday in Chicago, police said.

Both men, whose identities were not immediately released, were shot multiple times and the father was critically injured.”

New York Post

Just another shooting in the crime-riddled city of Chicago, at least the pooch wasn`t collateral damage. I am so sick and tired of Chicagoans and their thirst for violence; I can honestly say that I care more about the dogs than the human beings of the Windy City.

Anybody who regards walking his dog as a chore instead of a pleasure doesn`t deserve to own a canine. The only way this story could have a happier ending would be if both morons had died.

Walking my pooch, Mandy, is the highlight of my day; I love walking around my neighborhood, greeting my neighbors, and letting the little kids pet my adorable pet. The fact that Mandy loves walking around the block as much as I do is just icing on the cake.

Animal control should take the dog away from the critically-inured survivor, that sorry excuse for a human being doesn`t deserve to have his dog waiting for him when he`s released from prison.

Read More:

http://nypost.com/2017/04/10/father-kills-son-in-shootout-over-who-would-walk-the-dog/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Every Cat is a Therapy Cat

“A Cambridge University library has come up with a novel way for students to relieve exam stress – with the help of a friendly ginger cat.

Five-year-old Jasper has become a hit with students at the Marshall Library of Economics after he made an appearance at a recent event.

`Tea with Jasper` attracted more than 100 students to the surprise of librarian Clare Trowell, who had just 30 tickets.”
Cambridge News

The university librarian tried to make the austere library more welcoming by adding a lot of potted plants, and buying more plush sofas, but the library didn`t become a safe refuge from the madness of campus life until she brought in Jasper the cat as the library mascot.

When anybody visits my house, regardless if its` a friend, family, or contractor, he usually doesn`t loosen up until my fat and fluffy cat Tico makes an appearance.

A feline doesn`t need any training to become a therapy pet, every cat is a therapy animal. When I`m doing my taxes, or performing any other unpleasant task, I always have my cats around to soothe my rattled nerves. The soft purr of a kitty will chase away any demon.

Every library, indeed every public building, should have a cat mascot. Jasper helps the university students relieve stress, and a cat will help you deal with everyday trials and tribulations.

There are many cats available for adoption at your local animal shelter, and each and every one will make an adorable therapy pet for your home.

Read More:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/cambridge-university-library-economics-cat-12872770

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Arkansas Plans Seven Executions in 11 Days!Thank You Jesus!

“Arkansas is preparing to execute seven death row inmates in 11 days this month before the state`s deadly drugs expire, an unprecedented number of lethal injections in such a narrow window.

The hurried schedule has prompted unease from the state`s Republican governor, lawsuits from the condemned inmates, and criticism from an array of former corrections officials nationwide.”

The Washington Post

If every state executed seven death row inmates in 11 days, the crime rate would drop precipitously. There is an overabundance of animals on death row who need to be put to death.

Most criminals on death row will never be executed, and the few who are put to death languish in death row an average of 15 years before justice is finally meted out.

The death penalty as it stands isn`t a deterrent, it`s a joke. But if more states followed the example of Arkansas, thugs would think twice before capital crimes.

Unfortunately, the only reason the state of Arkansas is killing so many death row inmates in such a short span of time is because the supply of deadly drugs will soon expire.

Shame on Arkansas, actually it`s been 12 years since the state executed a criminal. Shame on every state that doesn`t execute criminals on a regular basis to protect its citizens.

Read More:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/04/07/with-lethal-injection-drugs-expiring-arkansas-plans-unprecedented-seven-executions-in-11-days/?utm_term=.87dc55c625e3

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Twitter User Seeks 18 Million Retweets for Free Wendy’s Nuggets

“Wendy`s challenged a Twitter user to accumulate 18 million retweets on a single tweet to earn a year of free chicken nuggets.

Carter Wilkerson tweeted at the fast-food chain`s official Twitter account to ask how many retweets would earn him a year`s supply of his favorite treat.

`Yo Wendy`s how many retweets for a year of free chicken nuggets?` Wilkerson wrote.

Wendy`s set the bar at 18 million and Wilkerson, whose Twitter bio includes the phrase `I like chicken nuggets` pleaded to his Twitter followers for help after telling the restaurant to `consider it done.`”

UPI

I don`t have a discriminating palate, and I often dine fast food restaurants, but I draw the line at ordering chicken nuggets.

Whenever a person eats an exotic food (alligator burger or buffalo stew), he usually says it tastes like chicken. God only knows what Wendy`s chicken nuggets are made of, one thing`s for sure Wendy`s nuggets are the only non-chicken meat that doesn`t taste like chicken.

I could eat a Burger King Whopper every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but I would die of dysentery after a week of dining on nothing but chicken nuggets.

Yo Carter, if you`re not able to accumulate 18 million retweets don`t worry, I`ll give you free access to my septic tank, that shi* tastes better than Wendy`s chicken nuggets.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/07/Twitter-user-seeks-18-million-retweets-for-free-Wendys-nuggets/1321491594429/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=2

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Talking to Your Pet is a Sign of Intelligence

“Have you ever named your car, talked to your pets or sang to your plants? Don`t worry, you`re not losing it. In fact, it`s a sign of intelligence.
Anthropomorphising – giving humanlike tendencies to inanimate objects and animals – is `a natural byproduct of the tendency that makes humans uniquely smart on this planet,` Nicholas Epley, behavioural science professor at the University of Chicago, told Quartz.”

Indy100.Com

I talk to my cats and my dog every day, and I always feel better after after chatting with them, a marked contrast to my social interactions with most people.

I don`t discuss climate change or foreign policy with my furry companions, but I shower my felines with compliments about their physical attractiveness, and I chastise my pooch for digging holes in my backyard.

When my non animal-friendly friends catch me talking to my pets, they give me a look that says: Doesn`t this idiot realize that his animals don`t understand a word he`s saying.

Now I can clap back at these haters with the words of behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley: Taking to animals is a sign of intelligence.

I talk to my pets every day, therefore I must be a freaking genius.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Shouldn’t Intervene Militarily in Syria

“President Donald Trump is condemning the chemical attack in Syria that left 72 people dead as an `affront to humanity` that `cannot be tolerated.`”

CBS News

I agree with Donald Trump`s former part of his statement, but not the latter. A chemical attack that targets innocent civilians, including children, is an affront to humanity. But in the Muslim world affronts to humanity occur on a daily basis, and the United States doesn`t have the financial or military resources to intervene every time a massacre occurs in that part of the world where the Religion of Peace reigns supreme.

In Syria there are many competing factions, and each one commits atrocities on a regular basis to achieve their objectives. What difference does it make if civilians are butchered by chemical attacks, bombs dropped by fighter jets or car bombs?

Why do Americans automatically demand that the president take military action when chemical weapons are used? Trump was elected, in large part, because he preached a non-interventionist foreign policy. Trump`s supporters are trusting that he won`t lead America into another Iraq or Afghanistan.

To declare that the chemical attack cannot be tolerated implies that Trump intends to take military action against the regime of Syrian President Bashar Hafez al-Assad. Syria`s president is supported by Russia, Iran and Hezbollah, any American military action against al-Assad can quickly escalate into a world war.

Unfortunately, the Syrian government`s attack against its own civilian population must be tolerated, there`s nothing we can or should do to try to bring reason into a region of the world where people are blinded by their fanatical devotion to a blood-soaked religion.

Read More:
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/04/05/donald-trump-jordan-king-abdullah-iii/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Barry Manilow Comes Out as Gay! Top Ten Reactions

“Barry Manilow has come out as gay publicly aged 73, and has spoken about his 40-year romance with manager husband Garry Kief.”

Gay Times

Duh!

Meh!

No, really?

I never would have guessed!

OMG! I couldn`t have been more surprised if Richard Simmons had come out of the closet!

Who cares!

You don`t need gaydar to figure out that shi*!

z z z z z z z

What a shock that a singer who got his start crooning at the gay bathhouse, Continental Baths, is gay!

Rolling eyes!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Chimp at Zoo Throws Poo in Grandma’s Face to the Delight of the Crowd: Video

“A grandma left a Michigan zoo with an unexpected souvenir after being struck in the face by a ball of poop.
Video shared to YouTube by Jacob Mitchell shows a chimpanzee at John Ball Zoological Garden in Grand Rapids swaying back and forth in its enclosure before hurling the ball of feces up toward the crowd above.
`It got grandma,` one onlooker said.

Members of the crowd laughed as the a gray-haired woman in a wheelchair turned toward a camera as the chimp`s excrement hung from her nose.”

UPI

The sweet blue-haired grandma rocking on her front porch, greeting one and all with a smile and a fresh-baked cookie only exists in fairy tales and black and white movies.

chimp The old hags I`m familiar with all more likely to greet you with a wet fart than a smile, and they will hurl a string of expletives at you if you walk on their lawn.

Old people think they can get away with anything, and it truly warms our hearts when we see one of these decrepit souls get their comeuppance. “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” is a Christmas classic because the “drunk on eggnog old broad” got run over by a reindeer.

Visitors to a Michigan zoo were blessed with an unexpected treat when a chimp hurled a handful of crap at the crowd striking an old lady in a wheelchair right on the nose. “It got grandma” an onlooker shrieked in delight, and the crowd erupted in laughter.

The world is a cruel place and it seems that nothing good ever happens, that`s why we must never take these unexpected joyful moments for granted. God bless everyone is this tableau: The angry chimp, the delighted crowd, and even the hapless old lady.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/04/Chimpanzee-flings-poop-at-unsuspecting-grandma/5921491308634/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=8

Why Are Black Women Ashamed of Wearing Their Hair Natural? Michelle Obama Rocks the Natural Look!

“The White House released first lady Melania Trump`s official portrait on Monday. But a photo of her predecessor grabbed a lot of attention on the same day.

The chatter seems to have started with this tweet and undated photo of Michelle Obama wearing her hair natural.”

The Kansas City Star

Out of every 100 black women, 50 wear wigs and hair extensions, 49 have their hair in an unnatural state: Relaxed, straightened or blown out. Only one out of a hundred black women dare go out in public with their hair in its natural state.

Whenever a famous black woman sports a natural hairstyle it`s front page news, why are they so insecure about their hair? They would rather wear a ridiculous wig, witness Maxine Waters and her James Brown wig, or a blond wig, witness Beyoncé and her Becky with the Good Hair wig.

Black women, for the love of God stop using harsh chemicals to straighten your hair! Stop wearing cheap ass wigs that make you a laughing stock! Stop appropriating white culture by putting on Barbie blond wigs!

Michelle Obama looks marvelous in her natural hair. Black women, do you really need an old non-black blogger to tell you to keep shi* real, and be proud of your natural hair?

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Pic of Michelle Obama rocking her natural hair:

http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article142631664.html

White House Releases First Official Portrait of Melania Trump

“It is perhaps no surprise that first lady Melania Trump`s first official portrait is a glamour shot. The former model`s bio page on the White House website goes into great detail about her career in the field. The White House released the photo on Monday, with a simple press release stating that the photo was taken in the residence at the White House.”

NPR

Since Donald Trump assumed office Melania Trump has kept a very low profile, perhaps the White House released her first official portrait to remind us that she`s still the First Lady.

It`s not surprising that the former model has an affinity for soft lighting and airbrushing, there will never be an official photograph of the First Lady that hasn`t been airbrushed to death.

The official photograph features a giant diamond on her ring finger, most of the gazillion and one images of Melania online feature her impressive rack.

Melania`s story is America`s story, any humble immigrant with a photogenic face and an ample bosom can climb from the seedy world of soft core pornography to the corrupt White House.

God bless America and God bless Melania Trump.

Melania`s Official Portrait:

http://www.npr.org/2017/04/03/522465633/first-lady-melania-trump-gets-her-first-official-portrait

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Adorable Cats Ring Bell to Order Food: Video

“Two hungry cats gorged themselves on snacks by ringing a pair of call bells to have their owner produce treats. The cats tapped their paws on the button to produce a ringing sound and quickly devoured the treats placed in front of them.”
UPI

You`ve heard of “Pavlov`s dogs,” Pavlov had his canines well-trained to respond to stimuli.

These cats have their owners/servants well-trained to reward them with treats when they ring a bell.

My cats don`t ring a bell when they are hungry, they wake me up by walking on my face when it`s time for their breakfast. My pooch gives them a wide berth when they want to nibble on her food before they devour their own.

This video really rings my bell, I could watch it all day long.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEMjTtaTzB8

Donald Trump Still Tweeting About Hillary Clinton! Get Over It! You Won!

“President Donald Trump will meet this week meet with Egypt`s President Abel Fattah el-Sisi, Jordan`s King Abdullah, and China`s President Xi Jinping. This morning, Trump did not kick off the week with tweets about any of these meetings. Nor did Trump tweet about this week`s confirmation hearing for his Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch.”

Deadline.Com

The Leader of the Free World has three critical meetings with foreign leaders this week. Trump is scheduled to meet with our two most reliable Arab allies in the Middle East, we need the assistance of the Egyptian president and the Jordanian king in dealing with the intractable issues of the Palestinian/Israeli conflict and ISIS.

China is the only country in the world that has leverage over North Korea, it`s imperative that our commander-in-chief cultivate a relationship with China`s President Xi Jinping.

If the world plunges into a Nuclear Armageddon, the conflagration is going to start in the Middle East or the Korean peninsula, this week Trump should focus on these two international hot spots.

Instead of posting statements about his forthcoming meetings with these world leaders, Trump posted this tweet about Hillary Clinton:

Did Hillary Clinton ever apologize for receiving the answers to the debate? Just asking!

Nobody else is asking. You won the election, it`s high time to move on and start acting like a president.

Hillary is the worst presidential candidate in history and Trump is the worst president in history. The only way that Trump can even dream of achieving mediocrity president is by forgetting Hillary, and focusing on the job at hand.

Read More:

http://deadline.com/2017/04/donald-trump-tweet-hillary-clinton-1202059096/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Bone Bone: Latest Adorable Kitty to Go Viral

“If you`ve been skulking around the strange bits of the internet recently, you,ve probably seen him: a giant, fluffy cat wearing a backpack and clinging to his owner.

Assorted excellent people on the internet have tracked down this cat and discovered his name is P`Bone. He also goes by Bone Bone, and is a fluffy cat living in Thailand.”

Metro

This kitty doesn`t need any accessories to accentuate his adorableness, he`s irresistible by virtue of the fact that he`s a fat fluffy cat.

This feline is so cool that the backpack doesn`t rob him of his dignity. I would never put a sweater on my cats or make them wear backpacks.

But I am dying of curiosity, what would a cat put in his backpack?

Dead mice to snack on.

Crunched up sheets of paper.

Kitty litter, emergency bathroom.

Shampoo and conditioner, he`s so freaking fluffy.

Smartphone, so he can communicate with his millions of online fans.

What do you think he has in his backpack, let me know!

Pics of the adorable fur ball: http://metro.co.uk/2017/04/01/meet-pbone-your-new-favourite-internet-cat-6547489/#ixzz4d7e0P9hG

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Donald Trump Mocks Chuck Todd’s ‘Sleepy Eyes’

“President Donald Trump went after Chuck Todd and NBC News on Saturday morning, asking when they will stop reporting on `the fake Trump/Russia story.`

`When will Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd and @NBCNews start talking about the Obama SURVEILLANCE SCANDAL and stop with the Fake Trump/Russia story,` the president tweeted.

Politico

When you have a mouth that resembles a sphincter, hair that looks like cotton candy that`s been dipped in urine, a facial complexion that an Ooompa Loompa would envy, Lilliputian hands, and the physique of a fat pig, it behooves you not to ridicule anyone`s physical appearance.

But Trump, like most bullies, doesn`t possess the intellect to criticize the ideas of his critics, so he attacks their physical appearance.

During the 2016 presidential campaign Trump famously mocked the disability of New York Times reporter Serge F. Kovaleski.

If Trump mocked a reporter`s disability, you know he wouldn`t be able to resist making fun of Chuck Todd`s sleepy eyes.

If Todd`s eyes appeared sleepy because he was high on crack, and drunk on cheap booze he would still be able to get the best of Trump in a battle of wits.

Trump would be well-advised to start Twitter feuds only with reprehensible creatures like Rosie O`Donnell.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

April Fools’ Day Every Day: Donald Trump is President of the United States

“Swedish and Norwegian newspapers announced on Friday that they would refrain from the tradition of publishing April Fools` Day jokes this year over fears that it might spread `fake news`.”

The Local SE

“Fake news is a type of hoax or deliberate spread of misinformation, be it via the traditional news media or via social media, with the intent to mislead in order to gain financially or politically.”

Wikipedia

On April Fools` Day respected publications have a tradition of publishing obviously fake news as an April Fools` Day joke.

But in an age when social media is saturated with fake news, reputable newspapers are refraining from their traditional April Fool`s Day tomfoolery.

November 8, 2016 when newspapers declared that Donald Trump won the election was the death of the tradition of newspapers publishing faux news on April Fools` Day. Real life has become more absurd than any April Fools` Day joke.

Today for April Fools` Day I could post an article alleging that Trump pulled out his tiny penis and challenged Chinese President Xi Jinping to do the same, confident that even he would be more well-endowed than any Asian. Tomorrow a video of Trump and Jinping comparing their tiny pricks might be the most popular video on YouTube.

Every day is April Fools` Day people, deal with it!

Read More:

https://www.thelocal.se/20170331/swedish-and-norwegian-newspapers-ditch-april-fools-due-to-fake-news

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

1 in 3 Voters Give President Trump an ‘F’

“After more than two months in office, America`s new president, Republican Donald Trump, got a grade of F from 1 in 3 voters, according to a new McClatchy-Marist Poll.

By contrast, the same number graded predecessor Democrat Barack Obama`s performance a B as he approached his 100th day in office.”

McClatchy

Donald Trump is the class clown who inexplicably became the President of the United States, grading on a curve, or by any other method, I would give him a big fat “F.”

Usually a president enjoys a honeymoon period that lasts at least through his first 100 days in office. But to keep the honeymoon analogy going, if a virgin bride discovers that her husband has a micropenis, she`s going to immediately annul her marriage.

It didn`t take the electorate more than a New York Minute to realize that Trump is an ineffectual, incompetent, orange-complexioned piece of garbage.

Trump lost the popular vote by almost three million votes, he doesn`t have any political capital, he`s been a dead man walking since day one.

Only Trump diehards who voted for him in order to send a big “Fuc* You” message to the political establishment would give him a passing grade.

Read more here: http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/white-house/article141836529.html#storylink=cpy

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes