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Twitter Verifies Account for Jesus Christ

Jesus

When a zillionaire, who believes that we live in a simulated reality, buys Twitter, you don’t have to be a theoretical physicist to know that he will turn it into his virtual playground where anything goes. Elon Musk has set the tone by tweeting conspiracy theories, firing thousands of employees by email and verifying Jesus Christ’s Twitter page with the cherished blue checkmark.

Jesus’ Twitter page feature a profile picture of a Jesus statue pointing its right index finger and raising its left thumb with a smile and a wink. The smile and the wink are clues that this isn’t the Republican Jesus who frowns at anyone having fun, and has a penchant for condemning liberals, gays and feminists to hell. That last thing Twitter needs is a MAGA Jesus egging on the demonic antics of Donald Trump.

The Jesus of the Gospels had twelve disciples, but Twitter’s Jesus has 830,000 followers, and he doesn’t follow anyone, not even Elon Musk. Trump-worshipping white evangelicals have made it embarrassing for anyone to admit that they are a follower of Jesus Christ, but I’m not ashamed to say that I am a follower of Twitter Jesus. I’m not even ashamed to spread the word: Follow Jesus at: https://twitter.com/jesus

Roger Stone Finds Jesus, Must be the Same Republican Jesus that Trump’s White Evangelical Supporters Worship

“President Donald Trump’s longtime friend and campaign adviser Roger Stone says he was never worried about going to prison.

Just days before he was set to begin serving a 40-month prison sentence after being convicted of lying to lawmakers who were investigating whether Russia influenced the 2016 elections, Trump commuted his sentence.

‘Praise be to God. I was never nervous or worried because I had prayed so fervently for deliverance from my persecutors and I knew in my heart that He would Protect me,’ he told me.”

JustTheNews.Com

Roger stone is the quintessential political trickster, his hardball political tactics, blind loyalty to his clients and unbridled glee at the success of his politics of personal destruction ensured that there would always be Republican candidates lined up to avail themselves of his services.  

It’s a miracle that Stone’s Machiavellian politics and win at all costs mentality didn’t land him in prison, but he managed to avoid the Big House in his long career from working for Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and George W Bush.

But it looked like working for Donald Trump, who makes Richard Nixon look like a Sunday School teacher, would finally get him imprisoned. Stone was facing prison time after being convicted of lying to Congress, witness tampering, and obstruction of justice.

Stone wasn’t worried about going to prison because in his own words:

“Praise be to God. I was never nervous or worried because I had prayed so fervently for deliverance from my persecutors and I knew in my heart that He would Protect me.”

Praise God Indeed, Stone knew that he would protect him, after all Trump had repeatedly hinted that he would pardon his loyal aide. I’m sure Stone who has a penchant for orgies prayed fervently to his false messiah to save him while clutching a rosary in one hand and a porn DVD in the other.

Stone claims to have given his life to Jesus some six months ago, and I suspect his “conversion” will have zero influence on the hardball and sometimes criminal ways he conducts business as a political consultant. After all, the white evangelical Christians who are Trump’s most loyal supporters, wax orgasmic at the evil machinations of their hero.