Pat Robertson Claims God Told Him Trump Will Win Reelection and Usher in End Times

Pat Robertson reports that he has been told by God that Trump will win reelection … and it will bring about the beginning of the End Times.

I try not to engage in conversation with racists, morons, buffoons and assholes, and it makes me wonder why the Almighty has a penchant for speaking to assholes the likes of Pat Robertson. Shouldn’t the omniscient Creator of the universe exercise some discipline to whom He speaks?

I’m guessing the Lord doesn’t speak to me because when I fart, I don’t cup my ears to interpret the Word of God emanating from my ass. White Trump supporting evangelicals who believe that a satanic cabal of pedophiles controls the world have no problems believing Robertson when he imparts divine wisdom by breaking wind.

It should be noted that this isn’t the first time that Robertson has predicted the end of the world, in the 80’s he prophesied:

“I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world.”

I’m not a prophet or a theologian, but I predict that these are the end times for the 90-year-old snake oil salesman.

I’m not going to place my right hand on the Bible, but I predict that Joe Biden is going to win in a landslide. God isn’t whispering in my ear or speaking through my ass; I’m relying on the polls that show Biden leading in the national polls, and more importantly in all the swing states.

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