In the year 1800, there were an estimated 30 million to 60 million American bison roaming across North America. As European colonizers expanded westward, they slaughtered bison for hides, meat and leather, severely thinning the herds. The American military engaged in a systematic campaign to eradicate bison, and thereby wiping out Native Americans who relied on bison as their primary food source, clothing and livelihood.
The American government was ruthlessly efficient in killing millions of Native Americans and American bison, to the point that by 1900 the population of bison dropped to as few as 24 animals taking refuge in Yellowstone.
Modern wildlife conservation has successfully restored Yellowstone National Park’s bison population to about 5,000.
A descendant of the colonizers was taking photographs of a bison, when the angry animal ran him down and flipped the elderly hillbilly-looking moron 8ft in the air.
The hero bison exacted revenge for the millions of bison and Indians slaughtered by the colonizers.
Few things in recent memory have brought me as much joy as watching the bison launch that trespassing colonizer into the air. The Facebook algorithm understands me better than my family; every other post in my feed is a bison meme. I no longer count sheep to fall asleep—I count flying hillbillies.
