donald trump

Donald Trump: Campaigner-in-Chief

Donald Trump`s default speech mode is hyperbole, and that bombastic style was a perfect fit in the worlds of professional wrestling and reality TV.

Trump`s disregard for the truth and over-the-top rhetoric served him well on the campaign trail, enough American swallowed his alternative facts to land him in the White House.

Trump`s shoot-from-the-hip style has been a disaster in the White House, his press conferences and tweets have infuriated and perplexed American politicians and foreign leaders.

The press isn`t seduced by Trump`s shtick, they are determined to hold him accountable for the excesses of his administration. They want the truth about his ties to Russia, and they want an explanation for the chaos swirling in the White House. Unfortunately, the media`s bias against conservatives in general and Trump in particular taints their mission to uncover the truth.

Trump thrives in chaos, but even he needs a break from the freak show, and he is seeking affirmation and refuge on the campaign trail.

The Donald returned on Saturday to the activity he enjoys the most: Running for the office he already holds. “I want to be among my friends and among the people,” Trump told a crowd of 9,000 diehard supporters at Orlando Melbourne International Airport in Melbourne, Florida.

The applause from his adoring true believers is an elixir for Trump, but he can`t campaign for the next four years. Trump can accomplish only so much from executive orders, sooner or later he has to govern. Trump doesn`t know the first thing about running a country or being commander-in-chief — we`re screwed.

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Donald Trump is Bonkers

“Al Franken recently raised a provocative question about Donald Trump: Is he mentally ill? On HBO`s Real Time with Bill Maher last week, the Minnesota senator claimed that some of his Republican colleagues have `great concern about the president`s temperament,` adding that `there`s a range in what they`ll say, and some will say that he`s not right mentally. And some are harsher.

Congressman Ted Lieu, a California Democrat, is introducing legislation that would require the White House to have a psychiatrist on staff. `I`m looking at it from the perspective of, if there are questions about the mental health of the president of the United States, what may be the best way to get the president treatment?` he told the Huffington Post.”

New Republic

You don`t have to be a psychiatrist or a psychologist to deduce that Donald Trump is bonkers.

The only thing up for debate is what drove Trump crazy: Untreated syphilis infected his brain? Orange spray tan seeped into his brain? Too many rejections by his daughter Ivanka?

After witnessing Trump`s surreal press conference on Thursday I said to myself:

This presser is so over-the-top it`s parody proof, Saturday Night Live has an impossible task trying to satirize the stream-of-consciousness rantings of a lunatic.

Trump is bonkers! Stark raving mad! Crazier than a shithouse rat!

Trump`s grip on power is secure for at least the next two years; America`s only hope is that in two years the Democrats will regain control of both houses of Congress and immediately begin impeachment proceedings against the Orange Menace.

In the meantime I hope that Pence, Priebus, and Banner will force Trump to sleep in a straightjacket so he can`t fire off any tweets in the middle of the night that will ignite World War III.

Read More:

https://newrepublic.com/article/140702/medical-theory-donald-trumps-bizarre-behavior

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Chris Christie: Trump Made Me Order Meatloaf at White House Dinner

“The New Jersey governor and former Republican presidential candidate, along with his wife, Mary Pat, visited the White House on Tuesday to have dinner with Trump. Christie spoke about the event while guest-hosting a New York sports talk radio show and says that when the diners opened their menus, Trump told everyone to have whatever they`d like to eat – except Christie himself.

Instead, Trump insisted that both he and Christie would have the meatloaf.”

People Magazine

I`m not surprised Christie had the meatloaf, he`s a “yes man,” plus he`ll eat anything that`s placed in front of him. You don`t weigh as much as a baby hippo by having a refined palate. The easiest job in the world is being Christie`s personal cook, all he has to do is fill the governor`s trough with slop, and he`ll be a happy camper.

If Trump told me “You and I are having meatloaf,” I would reply, “Oh, hell No! This is the damn White House, I`m having steak and lobster and I`m washing it down with Dom Perignon,”

Trump is surrounded by sycophants and yes men – for the love of God isn`t there one man who will tell the emperor that he isn`t wearing any clothes, and that`s he`s exposing his tiny pecker?

Read More:

http://people.com/politics/chris-christie-president-trump-made-me-order-the-meat-loaf-at-white-house-dinner/

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President Donald Trump Vs Prime Minister Justin Trudeau! Who Won the Handshake Battle?

“President Donald Trump has a weird way of shaking hands. His herky-jerky grappling style sometimes makes it look like he`s fighting with the other person, and maybe even trying to rip their arm out of its socket. But Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau appeared prepared for an uncomfortable greeting when he visited the White House on Monday.

A video of Trump welcoming Trudeau shows the prime minister quickly grasping the president`s shoulder with his left arm, seemingly bracing for a potential pull. Trudeau then brings the handshake close and toward his center, cutting off Trump`s leverage and ensuring that his shoulder remains intact.”

Huffington Post

Donald Trump is a WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) fan, a friend of WWE CEO Vince McMahon, and he even hosted a couple of WrestleMania events.Trump was inducted into the celebrity wing of the WWE Celebrity Hall of Fame.

Trump has introduced a wrestling submission hold into the world of politics with great success. It`s not the Huge Kiss of Death, although if Trump kissed an opponent with his sphincter-shaped mouth it might kill him. It`s not the Genital Grasp of Domination whereby the Donald grabs a person`s genitals until he or she cries “uncle.”

It`s the Presidential Handshake of Death, typically Trump greets a world leader by gripping his hand, jerking it toward him almost ripping the arm out of its socket, rendering him a quivering mass of jelly. Even strongmen like Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu have been no match for Donald`s submission hold.

Trump finally met his match, and it wasn`t North Korea`s dictator or Iran`s Supreme Leader who got the best of him, it was, believe it or not, the pretty boy Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Watch and marvel as Trudeau counters and neutralizes Trump`s signature submission hold.

Read More:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/justin-trudeau-trump_us_58a1dc96e4b03df370d8a29b

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Donald Trump Valentine’s Day Memes

Donald Trump is the most meme-worthy politician of our social media age. His clownish physical appearance, penchant for tweeting insults, and his thin skin are just too much of a temptation; the vanguard of the resistance are bloggers, pundits, and politicians armed with memes.

When you think of which holidays are synonymous with Trump “April Fools` Day” and “Halloween” come to mind, a Trump Valentine`s Day meme sees incongruous, but why not? Trump`s twisted love for his daughter Ivanka, his budding bromance with Putin and his pussy-grabbing ways are just begging for memes.

In the last couple of years I`ve created over a dozen Trump memes, but today I want to feature these Valentine`s Day Trump memes created by minds even more twisted than mine. Enjoy:

http://observer.com/2017/02/valentines-day-donald-trump-memes-cards/#slide3

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Dominican Newspaper Runs Photo of Alec Baldwin Instead of Donald Trump

A Spanish-language newspaper in the Dominican Republic mistakenly ran a photograph of Alec Baldwin from Saturday Night Live in place of a photo of President Donald Trump.

Everyone in the civilized world, including the Caribbean, knows that Baldwin has impersonated Trump on the NBC late night sketch comedy show to the acclaim of critics and the mortification of the American president.

The newspaper El Nacional issued a correction, but not before the image went viral.

My thoughts:

If you believe this was an honest mistake, I have beachfront property in Nebraska you might be interested in purchasing.

Before the advent of the Internet a newspaper in a banana republic could run a photograph of an Oompa Loompa in place of an image of President Trump, and Americans would never hear a word about it. Today the mayor of Timbuktu could name his bowl movement “Donald Trump” and appoint it to his city council and it would be trending on Facebook and Twitter before you could say: Holy Shit!

The world has become a village, and the entire world knows we have elected the village idiot president of the United States.

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Japanese Prime Minister Survives 19-Second Handshake With Donald Trump

“The internet is on fire talking about a handshake. Specifically, a handshake between U.S. President Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe. It`s a weird handshake that goes on far too long even for Abe`s liking. Seriously.”

Huffington Post

During a photo op in the Oval Office, a Japanese reporter asked Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinozo Abe to shake hands. A simple and innocuous request, what could possibly go wrong?

Trump pulled Abe`s hand too close for comfort, patted it several times as if he was patting a woman`s behind, and held on for 19 seconds.

Trump may have felt like smoking a cigarette after the awkward encounter, but after surviving the interminable handshake, poor Abe may be in need of post traumatic counseling.

When Trump finally released Abe, he rolled his eyes towards heaven. We feel you Prime Minister Abe, Trump`s got us all rolling our eyes.

I`m proud of myself; I didn`t make any jokes about Trump compensating for his tiny hands by …

Read More:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-handshakes_us_589e2d45e4b03df370d65e55

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Elizabeth Warren is an Abomination

The 2020 presidential race is already underway, and Sen. Elizabeth Warren is tweeting and grandstanding as if it were only months away, not years. Warren will stoop as low as necessary to dominate every news cycle.

Donald Trump has been in office less than a month, and already I am sick and tired of Trump`s incompetence and Warren`s intransigence.

The ultimate glass ceiling will be shattered one day, but it won`t be the likes of a Hillary Clinton or an Elizabeth Warren.Is is too much to ask for a female presidential candidate who doesn`t ooze venom and disdain for the 99%?

Warren is even more tiresome than Hillary Clinton, and she`s been in the public spotlight a few years, not decades.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was right to invoke Rule 19 against Warren for her vitriolic attack against her “friend and colleague” Senator Jeff Sessions. What a pretentious, bloviating phony, I`m glad McConnell bitch-slapped her into silence.

Trump`s administration got all kinds of blowback for putting Iran “on notice,” but not a peep from the press when Warren put Sessions on notice:

“If Jeff Sessions makes even the tiniest attempt to bring his racism, sexism & bigotry into @TheJusticeDept, he`ll hear from all of us.”

We`ve heard enough from you already, shut the hell up.

Why do I despise Warren so much? As a minority I will never forgive her for falsely claiming that she was part Native American in order to advance her academic career.

The “Never Trump” movement failed abysmally, hopefully the “Never Warren” movement will succeed in permanently silencing her.

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Does Donald Trump Wear a Bathrobe While Watching CNN in the White House?

“Whether President Donald Trump wears a bathrobe while watching TV in the White House has been a bone of contention this week.

On Tuesday, his press secretary Sean Spicer vehemently dismissed a report that first surfaced in a New York Times article as `fake news,` adding that he didn`t think Trump even owned a bathrobe.
What is clear, however, is that Trump has worn a bathrobe on at least one occasion in the past, as this old photograph shows.”

Huffington Post

According to reporting by the New York Times (an anti-Trump publication) president Trump has a penchant for lounging around in the White House in a bathrobe. The obvious intention is to portray Trump as a slacker, he may be intemperate, racist, and childlike, but he`s not lazy. Trump is the hardest working man in politics, he sleeps only about four hours at night, and he probably fires off a couple of tweets during his sleep.

The New York Times would be well-advised to put a screeching halt to their vendetta against Trump, they are succeeding only in destroying their legitimacy.

In his younger years when Trump styled himself a playboy in the mold of Hugh Hefner, he probably owned dozens of designer bathrobes, but those days are behind him.

However I`m enjoying the memes depicting the blowhard billionaire clad in a bathrobe, click the link at the bottom of this page to see for yourself.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-bathrobe-photoshop-battle_us_589c2ac6e4b09bd304c02016

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Rap Song in Praise of Donald Trump (Easy D) Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics

“President Trump sent out a tweet Wednesday cryptically warning that undesirables are entering the country.

But he was quickly mocked on social media for saying the federal appeals court considering his travel ban has an EASY D! — which the Urban Dictionary defines as promiscuous women.

‘Big increase in traffic into our country from certain areas, while our people are far more vulnerable, as we wait for what should be EASY D!’ Trump wrote at 12:41 p.m.”

New York Post

Henceforth Donald Trump will be known as EASY D

Trump should trade in his clown persona for a rapper persona.

Here is a paean to Easy D, sure it’s corny as hell, but no less corny than the orange-faced sucka:

Ya’ll know that Easy E was straight outta Compton,
But Easy D be straight outta School of Wharton.

Yeah I knew that bitch named Eric Wright,
We grabbed the bitches pussies by day and fucked the hoes at night.

Easy E ain’t getting coochie down below,
Me I never without a bitch or a hoe.

Tighter than a motherfucker with dem gangsta beats,
Me and my homie Bannon be dicking each other, least that be the word in the streets.

Bitches can’t hang in the streets hiding out in them Section Eight.
But me and my homies living large in the White house, don’t hate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUfzMDryA94

Lena Dunham: Donald Trump Made Me Lose Weight

“Lena Dunham has Donald Trump to thank for her recent weight loss.
`Donald Trump became president and I stopped being able to eat food,` Dunham, 30, told Howard Stern on his SiriusXM show Monday (via Entertainment Weekly).

The actress, who has long been criticized for her body image, continued, `Everyone`s been asking like, What have you been doing?` And I`m like, `Try soul-crushing pain and devastation and hopelessness and you, too, will lose weight.`”

Page Six

Lena Dunham, who is infamous for having a big mouth and a fat ass, has lost a few pounds over the incompetent and outright evil Trump administration. The blowhard billionaire has been in office for less than a month, by the end of his first term Dunham should look like a normal human being.

Dunham credits Trump for her weight loss, I credit Dunham for my weight loss. After seeing Dunham butt-naked a couple of times on Girls, I made a vow to never let myself go to the point where I look like a pig.

Dunham, who was a fervent support of Hillary Clinton, vowed last year to move to Canada if Trump was elected, and the lying witch is still here.

I hope Dunham makes another vow, this time to not eat again until Trump releases his taxes. Of course Trump will never release his taxes, and if the morbidly obese actress keeps her word , she will wither away to nothing, to the delight of Americans off all political persuasions.

Read More:
http://pagesix.com/2017/02/06/lena-dunham-donald-trumps-election-made-me-lose-weight/

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Packets of Heroin Feature Donald Trump’s Name and Face

“In one of the largest drug busts in Hernando County, Fla., history, Sheriff`s Office deputies netted 5,500 packages of heroin, some of which bore Donald Trump`s name and face on the wrapping.”

New York Daily News

I wonder what will be Donald Trump`s reaction when he read this article. I`m sure Trump is familiar with this news story, a self-obsessed person like him must google himself every morning.

Considering Trump`s litigious nature will he sue the drug dealer for trademark infringement? But Trump loves to see his name on everything, so maybe he will bail out the suspect instead.

Having Trump`s name and face on the wrapping serves as a warning that heroin is a deadly drug, if nothing else the drug dealer should be commended for truth in advertising.

Trump`s administration has been such a nightmare and he`s been in office for less than a month, by the end of his administration we`re all going to be shooting heroin as a coping mechanism.

Read More:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/florida-police-seize-thousands-packets-trump-branded-heroin-article-1.2965294

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Trump on ‘Killer’ Putin: ‘Is Our Country So Innocent’? Trump is Spot On!

“President Donald Trump said he respects Vladimir Putin, and when an interviewer called the Russian leader `a killer,` Trump said the United States has many of them.`What do you think? Our country`s so innocent?` he told Fox`s Bill O`Reilly in an excerpt released by the network.”

Bloomberg

Donald Trump doesn`t speak in the language of diplomacy, he speaks his mind bluntly in black and white terms. He paints in broad strokes, and there are only primary colors in his palette — no shades of gray.

Twitter was custom-made for Trump`s speech, don`t expect his ideas and philosophy (such as it is) in policy papers. American politicians and foreign leaders need to accept the reality that Trump doesn`t do nuance or introspection.

Not to put too fine a point on it but Vladimir Putin is a dictator, however I do respect his patriotism and his strong and decisive leadership. What is wrong with anybody with a modicum of integrity and intelligence respecting Putin`s good qualities?

Liberals, of all people, should applaud Trump`s rejoinder when when Bill O`Reilly referred to Putin as a “killer.” Indeed, is America so innocent? I`m cognizant that Putin was the former head of the KGB, but former President George H W Bush was the former head of the CIA. The litany of crimes against humanity committed by the CIA is no less deplorable than those perpetrated by the KGB.

Trump on Putin:

I respect a lot of people, but that doesn`t mean I`m going to get along with him. He`s a leader of his country. I say it`s better to get along with Russia than not. And if Russia helps us in the fight against ISIS, which is a major fight, and Islamic terrorism all over the world – that`s a good thing.

What the hell is controversial about Trump`s assessment of Putin? Instead of demonizing and provoking a leader who is sitting on top of a nuclear arsenal that can destroy the world many times over, we should be seeking to work with him whenever our aims and goals align, such as in the war against international terrorism.

Many of Trump`s policies are misguided, but his desire to build a good working relationship with Putin is not!

Read More:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-02-05/asked-about-putin-trump-says-us-isn-t-so-innocent

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Donald Trump Protesters as Unhinged as Punxsutawney Phil Protester

“Punxsutawney Phil may have predicted six more weeks of winter, but a lone protester in Michigan is going viral with a dissenting message: Impeach the groundhog!

Tony Lapekas, clad in a top hat inspired by the ones worn by the famous groundhog`s handlers, stood on a Kalamazoo street corner Thursday while holding a pair of signs reading, `Impeach the groundhog!` and `#NotMyWeatherMan,` the latter of which featured a drawing of a groundhog with a line through it.”

UPI

This solitary man protesting Punxsutawney Phil`s weather forecasting abilities reminds me of the millions protesting Donald Trump.

Trump has been in office less than a month, and already there are millions protesting and calling for his impeachment.

While I agree that Trump is in way over his head, we should at least give him enough time for him to demonstrate his incompetence.

Punxsutawney Phil is not my weatherman; I prefer to have my inaccurate forecast delivered by my local meteorologist. But like it or not, Donald Trump is everybody`s president. In the multiverse there are an infinite number of people in other universes saying that in an alternate universe Trump is the president – we live in that alternate reality.

You can`t maintain a perpetual state of outrage, liberals need to accept the fact that Trump is the president of the United States, and they need to calmly and methodically plan how to thwart his most outrageous policies.

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Donald Trump Takes Hair-Growth Drug

“President Trump takes medication for three ailments, including a prostate-related drug to promote hair growth, Mr. Trump`s longtime physician, Dr. Harold N. Bornstein, said in a series of recent interviews.

The other drugs are antibiotics to control rosacea, a common skin problem, and a statin for elevated blood cholesterol and lipids.

Dr. Bornstein, who spoke by telephone in four interviews over the past month, also said that Mr. Trump takes a daily baby aspirin to reduce the risk of a heart attack. Over all, he pronounced Mr. Trump healthy and his medical care as exactly up to date.”

New York Times

Baby hair is a very thin, soft, white, downy hair found on the body of a newborn baby and on top of Donald Trump`s scalp. Trump would be well-advised to go the Chuck Schumer route and undergo hair plug surgery instead of taking a drug that promotes the growth of baby hair.

I was under the impression that Trump`s unusual orange-tinted complexion was the result of fake spray tan, but if he`s suffering from rosacea he deserves my sympathy instead of my ridicule.

As for why Trump takes baby aspirin, maybe it`s not to reduce the risk of a heart attack, it could be that Dr. Bornstein, 69, is as demented as his patient, and prescribes it only because he`s thrown off by Trump`s baby hands.

The bad news is that the good doctor pronounced Trump in excellent health, we can`t count on the Grim Reaper taking him to hell before his term is over.

Read More: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/01/us/politics/trump-prostate-drug-hair-harold-bornstein.html?_r=0

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Outrage: Obama Already Criticizing Trump

“Former President Barack Obama is criticizing President Trump`s immigration and travel ban issued on Friday, saying through a spokesman that he is “heartened by the level of engagement” over the weekend in opposition to the action.
`In his final official speech as President, he spoke about the important role of citizen and how all Americans have a responsibility to be the guardians of our democracy – not just during an election but every day,` Obama spokesman Kevin Lewis said a statement. `Citizens exercising their Constitutional right to assemble, organize and have their voices heard by their elected officials is exactly what we expect to see when American values are at stake.`

It is the first public comment from Obama since he left office just over a week ago and departed for a vacation in Palm Springs, Calif. In his final press conference, Obama signaled he would give the new president some deference, but that he wouldn`t hesitate to speak up if he believed the country`s core values may be at stake, including `systematic discrimination being ratified in some fashion.`”

NPR

Former President George W. Bush refrained from criticizing his successor, he didn`t want to undermine the office of the presidency. Even though Obama was enacting a liberal agenda that was anathema to his conservative philosophy, Bush bit his tongue, took up painting and kept a low profile throughout the eight years of the Obama administration.

Instead of paying it forward and giving President Trump time to get his administration off the ground, Obama is already doing his level best to undermine the administration of the new president. Is there anybody who`s surprised that Obama didn`t extend the same respect to Trump, that Bush extended to him?

Like most ideologues Obama thinks his political philosophy is the Gospel Truth, and that it`s incumbent upon him to educate his political opponents.

I`m not going to debate the merit of Trump`s executive order, this isn`t about right or wrong, it`s about respect and knowing when to shut the hell up.

I will never forget the time that I had dinner at a friends house, I went to the bathroom and and I dropped a huge log, that wouldn`t flush. Reminds me of Obama, after serving two terms as president, instead of retiring to Kenya, Hawaii or Chicago he stays in Washington, and he just can`t keep from putting in his two cents.

The American electorate will sooner or later realize that they elected a buffoon, we don`t need any self-serving comments from Obama.

Read More:

http://www.npr.org/2017/01/30/512487565/obama-criticizes-trumps-immigration-ban-heartened-by-protests

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Donald Trump’s Staff Warns Prince Charles Not to Lecture Trump About Climate Change

“Donald Trump and Prince Charles are reportedly engaged in a diplomatic row about climate change, which threatens to damage US British relations ahead of the new President`s first state visit to the UK.

The royal is a famously vocal environmentalist, who runs Duchy Originals, an organic food company. Conversely, President Trump is a loud climate change denier, who has claimed that global warming is a hoax invented by the Chinese.

Members of the Republican politician`s staff have warned that Prince Charles, Queen Elizabeth`s son, should not `lecture` him on climate change during the visit in case the fiery politician erupts in return, The Sunday Times reports. He has reportedly expressed a preference that the younger generation of royals, such as Prince Charles` sons William and Harry, meet him instead.”

Independent

It`s in the job description of the president of the United States that he must tolerate a lot of politically-correct speech when visiting European leaders.

But Donald Trump has a high aversion for political claptrap when it`s not emanating from his big mouth. I applaud Trump for putting Prince Charles on notice that he isn`t going to tolerate his climate change quackery.

Trump may be a buffoon, but he`s the leader of the Free World, and his pontifications carry a lot of weight. Prince Charles on the other hand, not to put too fine a point on it, is a useless piece of shi*, and nobody should be forced to listen to his climate change nonsense.

Trump is a political hurricane wreaking devastation at home and abroad, but I must admit sometimes he is a breath of fresh air.

Prince Charles would be well-advised to hold his tongue when he meets President Trump, the blowhard billionaire doesn`t put up with any jibba jabba.

Read More:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-prince-charles-climate-change-environment-uk-visit-queen-a7551701.html

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Doomsday Clock Moved Forward 30 Seconds Thanks to Donald Trump

“The keepers of the Doomsday Clock have moved the symbolic countdown to potential global catastrophe 30 seconds closer to midnight based on President Donald Trump`s comments on nuclear weapons and climate change.

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, in a statement accompanying the move Thursday, cited wavering public confidence in the democratic institutions required to deal with major world threats.

The Doomsday Clock now stands at 2 minutes 30 seconds to midnight, the closest it has been since the 1950s.”

ABC News

I concur with the keepers of the Doomsday Clock that nuclear proliferation is an existential threat to humanity, but climate change is only a threat to Al Gore`s bank accounts.The more scientists speak truth to power and debunk the climate change hoax, the more money is siphoned from Gore`s substantial holdings.

We are eons from Reagan`s Morning in America, the midnight hour is quickly approaching thanks to Donald J. Trump. The president`s rants and ravings, usually conveyed on Twitter, could very well spark a global conflagration.

If Trump can be persuaded to cancel his Twitter feed the Doomsday Clock can be moved back to 3 minutes to midnight.

The world is going to end not with a bang or a whimper, but with a tweet.

Read More: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory/scientists-move-doomsday-clock-30-seconds-closer-midnight-45084895

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New Fad In China: Fake Donald Trump Tweets

“In China, Twitter is blocked but fake tweets by @realdonaldtrump look set to become the latest internet sensation.

Online users are flocking to a new Chinese website that lets them generate images of fake tweets that look just like those sent by President Donald Trump`s distinctive personal Twitter account – replete with his avatar and a real-time timestamp.

Jike, the Shanghai-based startup running the website, says that in just four days, users have created more than a million fake @realdonaldtrump tweets in Chinese and English.”

New York Post

China is the source of 86% of the world`s counterfeit goods, according to the US Chamber of Commerce. Chinese authorities have absolutely no respect for intellectual property — now Donald Trump`s Twitter feed is being counterfeited. (Although I`m not sure that Trump`s Twitter account qualifies as intellectual property.)

Fake Trump tweets are more popular than fake iPhones and real dog meat dishes in China, it`s a fad that will most likely last as long as the Trump administration.

Trump`s real tweets are so outlandish — how do you parody Twitter messages that qualify as parody? I have a feeling that fake Trump tweets will be published in official Chinese publications, and nobody will be the wiser.

What an Orwellian nightmare we live in: Fake news, alternative facts, fake tweets!

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Was Donald Trump’s Bodyguard Wearing Fake Arms at the Inauguration?

“SOCIAL media is awash with sensational claims that one of Donald Trump`s bodyguards was wearing FAKE ARMS at the inauguration.

Astonishing footage appeared to show the rather stiff-looking security guard walking down Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House without moving his arms once.

Conspiracy theorists suggested he may have worn prosthetics so that his finger was poised ready to pull the trigger on the gun believed to be hidden under his coat.”

The Sun

Unlike mainstream news outlets like the New York Times and the Washington Post this Web site doesn`t traffic in fake news, this Web site does cover conspiracy theories for the edification and entertainment of our readers. Today I will delve into the mystery of Donald Trump`s Secret Service agent with the prosthetic hands.

Whenever you see the word “hand” in a headline about Donald Trump, his grotesque pudgy baby hands come to mind, but this article is about his bodyguard`s strange hands.

After writing over a dozen articles about Trump`s diminutive hands I consider myself an expert on the human hand, and I would bet my right hand that Trump`s guard was wearing a prosthetic arms. He was concealing a weapon under his jacket and his real hand was holding it with his trigger finger ready.

If you disagree with my theory that the Secret Service dude was wearing fake arms talk to the hand, I don`t want to read your emails or tweets.

Examine the video and judge for yourself.

Read More:
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2699859/donald-trump-secret-service-agent-inauguration-fake-arms/

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JANUARY ARCHIVES PAGE TWO:

https://robertpaulreyes.com/january-archives-page-2-of-robert-paul-reyes-articles/

Johnny Manziel Has Some Social Media Advice for Donald Trump

Yo @POTUS even I know to stay away from the notifications section on twitter. S— will drive you crazy, lead the country and let them hate.

Johnny Manziel

Johnny Manziel won the Heisman Trophy as a freshman, but too much drugs, booze, and an allegation that he assaulted his girlfriend led to an early exit from the NFL.

Trump has been counseled by pundits, politicians and preachers not to have such a thin skin, but he still responds to every slight with a barrage of venomous tweets.

Maybe Trump will listen to a fellow dumbass who also has a penchant for venting on his favorite social media platform.

When I first started posting my editorials online I received tons of emails, but since the advent of social media most of the feedback is on Twitter and Facebook, very few people take the time to write an email.

The first time someone called me a shi*head on Twitter it stung, but after being called an expletive a gazillion times, hateful tweets have all the sting of a lover whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Yo Trump, heed Manziel`s advice: Turn of your Twitter notifications, in fact deactivate your Twitter account, and focus on leading our nation.

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Donald Trump: Four Years of Tweets, Typos and Temper Tantrums!

I am honered to serve you, the great American People, as your 45th President of the United States!

Donald Trump tweet

The British and American spellings of the word “honored” are different, but if a British student or an American student employed the Trumpian spelling of the word his teacher would make him wear a dunce cap.

The tweet was quickly deleted and re-posted with the correct spelling, but not before Trump once again exposed his impulsive nature by posting a tweet without taking the time to use spell-check.

Maybe I am being unfair to Trump, if I was cursed with pudgy baby hands my tweets would probably also be full of typos. In any event, I`m certainly not surprised Trump misspelled “honored,” after all what the hell does he know about honor?

Dear God, four years of tweets, typos and temper tantrums!

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Kellyanne Conway’s Patriotic Inauguration Outfit Has Me All Hot and Bothered

Since 1998 I`ve posted thousands of articles online, and this is the first and last time I will write a fashion essay. Fashionista I`m not.

First Lady Melania Trump, a former model, wore a baby blue cropped jacket for her husband`s inauguration, losing Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton rocked a white pantsuit, but Kellyanne Conway, a senior aide to Donald Trump stole the show.

Kellyanne wore a $3,600 double-breasted Gucci coat that had social media in a tizzy; she was compared to Paddington Bear, Napoleon, a nutcracker, and Yankee Doodle`s bride.

It takes real balls to wear such an extravagant outfit; Kellyanne must tote a bowling bag to carry her balls.

A woman with confidence turns me on, even though Kellyanne is well past her prime, I would knock boots with the patriotic hottie in a New York minute.

Kellyanne was basically telling her haters: I`m down with “America First” and “Make America Great Again,” and if you don`t like it you can kiss my red, white and blue ass.

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Donald Trump Already Has 2020 Slogan: Keep America Great!

 

“Donald Trump hasn`t even taken the oath of office for his first term, but he`s already beginning to plot his re-election. He`s starting with a new slogan: Keep America Great.

With full confidence that he will be able to make good on his promise to `Make America Great Again,` the Republican president-elect told The Washington Post in an interview published Wednesday that he already has a vision for 2020.

`Are you ready?` he asked his interviewer. `Keep America Great,` exclamation point.

Trump immediately demanded his lawyer come into the room and explore whether the slogan should be trademarked. He later vacillated on whether the exclamation point was needed.”

CNBC

America was already great before Donald Trump was elected president, and the greatness of America manifested in her diversity, freedom and creativity will ensure that America will remain great even after four or eight years of a Trump administration.

Trump is brimming with confidence as evidenced by his pondering a 2020 reelection slogan, unfortunately like any run-of-the-mill egomaniac he`s only confident about his personal success. As long as his brand is on the rise, I don`t think Trump cares if Putin annexes Alaska, China erects an artificial island twenty miles from Taiwan, and Iran invades Iraq.

I hope and trust that the majority of Americans who didn`t buy Trump`s “Make America Great” crap will continue to make America great by opposing his fascist agenda every step of the way.

I`m hesitant to offer Trump any advice, but he should ditch the exclamation point, it didn`t work out particularly well for Jeb Bush.

Read More:
http://www.cnbc.com/2017/01/18/donald-trump-2020-campaign-ready-with-keep-america-great-slogan.html

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Yellow-headed Moth With Tiny Genitalia Named After Donald Trump

“A yellow-headed moth with tiny genitalia now shares a name with the nation`s soon-to-be 45th President.

Scientists have named a new species of moth Neopalpa donaldtrumpi after President-elect Donald Trump – partially because the yellow, puffy scales on the critter`s head look like the Republican`s signature coiffed `do.

`The specific epithet is selected because of the resemblance of the scales on the frons (head) of the moth to Mr. Trump`s hairstyle,` taxonomist Vazrick Nazari wrote in a new paper.”

New York Daily News

It makes perfect sense to name a moth after Donald Trump, moths are attracted to artificial lights, and we are all familiar with Trump`s attraction to klieg lights.

A moth that`s attracted to artificial lights, who has puffy yellow scales on his head that bear a remarkable resemblance to Trump`s hairdo, and has tiny genitalia — even in comparison to other moths, how could scientists not name it after Trump?

Moths are considered major agricultural pests in many parts of the world, Donald Trump is considered a pest, not only in America, but throughout the world.

When a moth invades my home I kill it with a fly swatter with a flick of my wrist, would to God it were as easy to get rid of Donald J. Trump.

Read More:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/yellow-headed-moth-named-donald-trump-article-1.2949239

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