Democratic Debate: Chaos Featuring Naked Cowboy, Homeboner, Amy Klobuchar’s ‘Uncle Dick’ and Elizabeth Warren Going Psycho on Mike Bloomberg

Donald Trump is an existential threat to civility, the rule of law and democracy itself. Last night I watched the Democratic debate in Charleston, South Carolina; the Democratic hopefuls faced off and it was a Battle Royale from the opening bell.  

The debate was moderated by CNS’s Gayle King, Margaret Brennan, Major Garrett and Bill Whitaker, and they were utterly ineffectual in preventing crosstalk and stopping the candidates from speaking out of turn.

The seven candidates on stage: frontrunner socialist Bernie Sanders, crazy Joe Biden, Mayor Pete, billionaire Mike Bloomberg, Native American activist Elizabeth Warren, billionaire impeachment king Tom Steyer and Amy (I eat salad with a comb) Klobuchar engaged in an epic food fight.

The debate featured gaffe-prone Joe Biden exclaiming that 150 million people had been killed in shootings since Sanders voted more than a decade ago to shield gun manufacturers from liability, and uttering the word “homeboner” for no discernable reason.

Amy Klobuchar referenced her Uncle Dick and explained that she weighs gun controls by asking “Do they hurt my Uncle Dick in the deer stand?” If I had a niece as weird as Klobuchar, I would spend all of my time in a deer stand just to get away from her, even though I’m not a hunter and I would never kill a deer.

Billionaire Bloomberg let is slip that he “bought off” Congressional reps with his millions in pocket change, and he referenced the “Naked Cowboy” for good measure.

Warren once again ripped Bloomberg a new a-hole, she really has a vendetta against him.

The debate was a chaotic cacophony that made me want to pierce my eardrums, but having said that I’d rather have any of the seven Democratic hopefuls as president instead of the short-fingered vulgarian Trump. Even if the Naked Cowboy was the Secretary of Defense and Amy’s Uncle Dick was the Chief of Staff. You can bet your homeboner on that!

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