Trump Struggles to Fit Cankles Under Tiny Desk

The Resolute Desk is the most historic and iconic desk in American history. Nearly every president since Jimmy Carter has used it in the Oval Office. Donald Trump, who loves all the trappings of power, holds court behind the Resolute Desk, as he signs executive orders and lords it over White House correspondents.

Trump is a vile, vindictive, and petty little man, and it is an affront to decency for him to park his lard ass behind such a magnificent and historical piece of furniture.

The grifter-in-chief looks more natural sitting at the portable signing desk, the tiny Georgian-style wooden table typically used for bill-signing ceremonies when a large group of politicians and dignitaries needs to fit into the frame. A little desk for a little man with little imagination.

Trump, 79, grimaced while lowering his fat ass to the portable signing desk on Friday. He was honoring the Navy football team with the Commander-in-Chief’s trophy following their win against Army last December. As he went to sit down at the tiny desk to sign an executive order, he thrust out his leg for support, bending his cankle at an awkward angle. The buffoon gripped the sides of the desk to lower his bulk down. It is remarkable that the small desk remained intact; however, it is likely that the physical effort resulted in a soiled diaper.

An obese sociopath, sitting at a tiny desk, which fails to hide his fat cankles is the perfect illustration for the Trump administration, the only thing missing is a chamber pot underneath the desk.

Boss Baby Donald Trump Speaks to the Nation from Behind a Tiny Desk

President Donald Trump finally addressed the country and fielded questions from reporters about his unfounded and delusional allegations about massive election fraud.

Trump spoke to the nation not from the imposing Resolute Desk that’s been used by several presidents to speak to Americans in times of crises, but from a tiny desk that would be perfect for Boss Baby.

A presidential seal that was much too large for such a minuscule desk only highlighted the absurdity of the press conference. Affixing the presidential seal to a comically small desk made as much sense as adoring a Ford Pinto with a Rolls Royce hood ornament.

It’s poetic justice that the Man Baby was banished to the children’s table on Thanksgiving. The Lilliputian desk is symbolic of Trump’s diminished stature; thank God that he didn’t defile the Resolute Desk by using it to rant and rave about his conspiracy theories.

The hashtag #DiaperDon swiftly trended on Twitter, with people mocking Trump for using a puny desk that made him look like a toddler throwing a tantrum. What was he thinking, did he speak from a teeny desk in an attempt to make his itsy-bitsy hands look larger?

The miniature desk also served to emphasize Trump’s huge butt, in fact it looked like he was wearing diapers. It’s not unusual for septuagenarians to suffer from incontinence, and Trump shouldn’t be ashamed of having to wear adult diapers. If fact, he should monetize his incontinence and sell Trump-branded diapers.

One of the last images we will have of the Trump administration is of the stable genius holding court with reporters sitting behind the teensy-weensy desk, how appropriate!