ABBA to Release New Album and Tour Digitally

ABBA, one of the most commercially successful acts in the history of popular music, is releasing its first new album since 1981, and going on tour.

I know what you’re thinking: It’s great that they’re releasing an album of new material, but the Swedish septuagenarians simply don’t have the stamina to sing for a couple of hours, let alone tour.

 It wasn’t just the pulsating disco music that made ABBA a huge sensation in the 70’s, the Swedish supergroup were fashionistas, nobody rocked the cameltoe aesthetic like the ABBA divas.

I love me some ABBA, but I don’t want to see sexy (?) Swedish septuagenarians rock a cameltoe.

Relax, the ageing rockers will be performing digitally, not in person. The digital versions of ABBA were created via months of motion-capture and performance techniques with the four band members, and a team from Industrial Light & Magic. Supposedly, this technique is more realistic than holograms.

This dancing queen is planning on buying the forthcoming ABBA album “Voyage,” to be released November 5, and I might even attend one of their digital performances.