Lo and Behold: God’s Anointed Trump Holds Up a Bible Outside a Church Fulfilling Scripture

Today I witnessed a holy scene that resonated with my white evangelical soul and reaffirmed my belief that Donald Trump is a humble servant of God and a mighty prophet anointed by the Almighty to Make America a Great White Nation Again.

After the President declared himself a “Law and Order President” in the Rose Garden and promised to restore order in our nation divided by Satan’s army of liberals, he mobilized the police and members of the military to clear out a peaceful protest by pacifists and snowflakes so he could make a pilgrimage to a nearby church.

The Lord gave the stable genius the wisdom to hold up a small Bible, God knows that our Dear Leader wouldn’t have been able to hold a giant Bible with his tiny hand without toppling over.

This heavenly photo-op made the angels in heaven rejoice and his saints below cream their paints in holy ecstasy. The stain in my groin area testifies to my righteousness and loyalty to God’s anointed.

This photo-op fulfills Scripture: Lo and behold the women’s moist undergarments and the men’s soiled white tighties testified that the Almighty had elevated a White Messiah to the greatest office in the land.

I’m compelled to state that is a satirical piece, because Trump’s white evangelical supporters are so freaking stupid.  In reality I’m a Latino who follows the teachings of Jesus Christ, and is horrified how Trump is making a mockery out of Christianity and destroying our democracy.

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